Fitzdog Radio - T.J. Miller - Episode 1074

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

Shakespearean clown, T.J Miller gets FITZDOGGED once again! Great time.Follow T.J. Miller on Instagram @TeenageMillionaire My Bookie: https://mybookie.website/FITZWatch my special "You Know Me" on YouTube! http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hi, welcome to Fitts Dogg Radio. My guest today is the great TJ Miller, who's been on the show many times. Truly one of the best podcast guests you can interview. So fast, so funny, so silly. We had a blast. So hang out and listen to that in a bit. In the meantime, I've been playing the bongos. I don't know, I told you guys two weeks ago on the podcast me and the wife were walking past a drum circle and Marina Del Rey and they said you guys want to join in. I looked at the wife, she said no and I didn't fight it. I didn't say no we're playing the fucking bongos and all day all I kept thinking about is I didn't play the bongos and so I decided that

that's my mantra I'm gonna play the bongos so that week I went to I went to the Dodgers Mets game I went to the Clippers game, I went on a major hike. I did a bunch of shit. And then this, oh, and then I was in Tulsa, I went to the Bob Dylan Museum, I went to this studio. Anyway, and then this, I was in Kansas City this week, I did a bunch of shit, and then Sunday I got back, took some mushrooms, had a three hour putting contest

against, it was Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Gibbons and Gubbins and we all played, we all putted at Penn Mar for like three hours during the, it was a baseball game and the Jets game. Had a blast, I won, which felt fucking good, won $15 all right anyway shout out to Rogan and Theo Vaughn who they just did a podcast and they this threw me a love fest talking about how much they love me and what a good

guy I am and Rogan was talking about how much he loves my laugh and talking about the old days when we started out we used to have so much fucking fun when we started in stand-up there was like two camps of comics in boston there was the guys that were esoteric and smart and clever and I respected the shit out of the guys like Dave Cross and Mark Maron and although Maron played the mainstream clubs and he did the alternative clubs but I think I sort of sided a little I did both clubs but I sided more with the like down and dirty club scene and me and Rogan used to go out and we'd go to the fucking the clam shack in Cranston, Rhode Island on a Tuesday night. Big haired girls and Guido guys and a shitty sound system. And we would just go up and just try to shock.

And we just cracked each other up. And then we'd drive an hour and a half home together, laughing about it. And we did that for years. And just so many great memories. And so, yes did that for years. And I just, so many great memories. And so, yes, that was nice. That was a nice little clip somebody sent me of them talking about me.

And I want to get right to the interview today because it was a fun one. And, but I also want to talk about my bookie because support for Fits Dog Radio comes from my bookie. Look, there's a lot of sites you can play sports and bet with but my bookie I have so much fun with them. They are there's no no bullshit it's just straight-up action there they give you they give you an edge. If you love to win at football which I do

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You could be at your job. Maybe you got one of those jobs, you got a little downtime. And you can research, you can have some fun, you can play anything. The sports book, it gives you control and rewards fun, you can play anything. This sports book, it gives you control and rewards you for every moment of play. Get involved. Also get involved in seeing me live. I'm gonna be in Helium in Philadelphia November 7th to the 9th. That's gonna sell out. Get your tickets in advance at FitsDog.com. Also coming this November Tacoma and Tem Tempe December I'll be in San

Francisco and Cleveland January I'll be in Atlanta and Janesville Wisconsin and Nyack New York and Raleigh North Carolina and Milwaukee big January also Vegas Hollywood Pittsburgh go to FitzDog.com get some tickets also if you have not seen you Know Me I can't imagine any of you haven't seen it but if you have not we're at 420,000 views it's on YouTube it's free if you can subscribe that helps a lot subscribe to my YouTube channel check it out if you've already seen it cue it up hit play and then go do the dishes get Get me another count. I want to get a million.

I'm going for a million this year, so get a part of it. Welcome to the pod hat pod hast what does that mean? What language is that podcast? TJ Miller just showed up. He's wearing some kind of hip hop feeling thing. That's awful lot of cough syrup. What? That's a awful lot of cough syrup. And a great story about that.

All right, here we go. That's how we start a podcast with a story. And it was a story in the middle. We just, we just don't, we kind of just think. Yeah. I wish there were more podcasts where people just kind of think about stuff next to each other, just silently. But sort of.

Like, what's a time that you've said something racist and after saying it you're like, I was pretty right on with that. Let's just think about that. I was in New Bedford. I didn't wanna hear it. No. Actually. I have my own podcast called Thinking On It,

but I was sued by George Wallace. I couldn't remember his name for a second. The politician or the comedian? The comedian. I have a. I have a. Let me get these on. I had a moment last night that was sort of accidentally. Now I have a traumatic brain injury that was sort of accidently,

now I have a traumatic brain injury at TBI, we call them, not a circle. Yep. And I had a friend with me at the show last night, the Laugh Factory, and George Wallace went up. Really? Yeah, it was great. It was a stacked lineup.

Tiffany Haddish went up, George Wallace went up. I was there and it was pretty fun because, um, George Wallace just killed my friend. I said, have you ever seen him? And she's like, no, no, what's his name? And I just had one of those moments where I could not remember his name. I know that I love the guy. I know him. I've gone to a show in Las Vegas. Yeah, there's certain things people tell you and you remember them always. Mm hmm.

And the thing that he told me was he said, well, I rent the theater, so I keep every sort of any kind of implied like I basically I got to a place where I own the theater. Yeah. So I decide the terms of the tickets, the ticket sales, what my cut is, which I'm sure is 100%. And that for whatever reason stuck in my mind.

The one that is you is, I always think about this when I think about you. Yeah. And it was when you said, women are less than. And I said, than men? And you said, women are less than I said than men. And you said no than anything. Well, that's the way I was able to get.

You just got it. You got it. I knew you were going to meet me to a fits. I came in early. I came in talking it. You came in. Now, let me ask you something. What I mean, I mean, I'll tell you what it really was.

I mean to ask a lot of my guests this. What is it like when you're on your way here? How does it feel knowing you're gonna get Fitz Docked? You ask a lot. You ask almost every single one here. Yeah. I look forward to it. I think it's something that I... You know how they say, well it was nothing to write home about. Getting Fitz Do dog is something to write home about. Right. Longhand, longhand yellow, legal, like the stamps. And then you go, wait, why am I looking this? And I said, I said the entire legal pad.

Yes. I put that in a manila envelope and I sent it. No, you know, I think about when I, when I think about you, as you told me about social media, you said, it feels like it's everything you can do to reply to everyone. Takes such a big chunk out of your day. And I never thought about that. And sometimes when I go and I reply to comments, I think about you fondly. Well, can you guys keep it down a little bit?

Or bring it up a little bit. Or bring it up a little bit. Or bring it up, either up or down. People want to know how unprofessional is thegreenlabtv.com. Thank you. I heard they're not very loud when they care. Well, it's like my friend when we play golf, that's exactly what he says. Either talk louder or don't talk. But it's that in between, it kills you.

It's pretty strong flex to tell everybody that you play golf. Yeah. How often do you play? Every Friday morning for, well I've played my whole life, but we've got a standing game for 15 years every Friday morning. You wanna know what the foursome is

that I'm not making this up? Hold on, let me try and guess. Try and care. Okay see if I can care. Okay I got it. I got it. I care. You found it. Who is the foursome? Okay Fitzsimmons. There it is. Fitzgibbons. Gibbons and Gubbins. I'm not making that up. They, and they call, they love it. You know, at the starter thing, they have a big speaker cause everybody's waiting to play

and they announced the next group and he always does it in that order cause he knows it flows. Fitzsimmons, Fitz Gibbons, Gibbons and Gubbins. He says the Irish mafia is now on the tee. Yeah. Oh my God. It sounds like a really bad law firm.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it sounds more like the cops that the law firm is prosecuting on your behalf. You know, Fitzsimmons, what is it again? Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons. Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons. Gibbons. Gibbons and.

Gibbons and Gibbons. And Godfrey. Yeah. And Godfrey. By the way, most underrated comedian in America. I don't like saying that anymore. I like saying, cause people come to me all the time. They go, Oh, I love this movie that you were in. It's the most underrated. Yeah. Everybody likes the movie. Yeah. The most underseen film, likes the movie. Yeah, the most

underseen Film not underrated. Yeah under scene. I think Godfrey anybody who's seen him They can't believe how funny is. Yeah, I got really high and there was like a party It must have been a holiday party or something of the comedy cellar and I I play the cellar but it's not really my like hangout scene thing. That's more the stand. But I went in there and I got sort of stoned and he was sitting at the special table, you know? And I walked in, I saw everybody talking

and interacting with each other and all this sort of social stratospheres, the status anxiety that's always permeating or percolating within that sort of world. Yeah. And it was such a funny moment. I sat down next to him and I was like, Hey God, he's great.

He's having a little bit of food and he likes me. I, we have a lot of fun together. And he, I talk to him and I just go, I get it now. I get it. This is like a jungle, you know? It's like its own kingdom. You are the king. And so you're sitting here and you're eating your food

and these are all sort of the lesser subjects. And that's why you close every show because nobody can follow you. Yeah. And so you are the king. Right. And there were people before you and there was, you know, and David Tell is his own type of, you know, king. And there's a I kind of see now I understand it. It was so funny because and I do this with a lot of people

because he kind of wanted to be like, what are you talking about? But he loved that I was saying that. I get it. Mark Wahlberg's really like that where I sort of say, one time he was like, ah, here he goes, TJ again. He goes, after a little bit of wine, then the jokes are coming about me. And I go, of course, Mark, because you're a king

and I'm of course Mark yeah because you're a king and I'm a jester yeah and the jester's responsibility is to make fun of the king right and he was like they could see me like ah now is he right I love anything so it can't but he's the he's the absolute best yeah the person that likes doing that is Michael Bay. I strangely, out of the blue, Michael Bay called me yesterday. You showed me the screenshot.

Yeah, and then we probably better cut that out. Okay. But it was very funny, okay. But we really do though. And, let's do it. And I'm serious. Wait a minute, now we don't know. What's TJRU?

That's why you should take it out. Right. I don't have to. And so I'm having fun with him, and he's just so funny because he also loves when I'm just, I'll make fun of him a little bit, and he'll laugh, and I'll be like, well, I can do that because you're the most powerful

director in the world. You're one of the top five grossing directors in the world of all time in history, in cinema's history. And he's like, no. But you can tell that he's like, I am. I am! And he is! And you're the court jester.

Here's the thing about court jester. It was the original comedian. Before any borscht belt, cat skill, cabaret, you whatever the first, there was the court jester, which that was a high stakes stand up comedy gig. Well, and you're right, because comedy was invented by Aristophanes in Greece, but that was not stand up at no point, that was always theater.

It was just genre. Yeah, they had, right, and it was actually meant to sort of make fun of drama. And so it was satire, but the only reason people wanted to see it was because it was kind of the counterbalance. You would sort of go, God, these tragedies are really getting to be a lot. Let's go, Aerosophanes is doing his,

so we should go and do that, cleanse the palate and kind of be able to laugh at how heavy the drama stuff is. But I, the court jester really was the first, it was, so I looked up, because I love the history of comedy. So I look, yes, but you're right, high stakes. If you say the wrong thing, then they'll just kill you. You die, yeah.

But it's really hard to find people of that intelligence, that quickness and that sort of bravery. So you wouldn't just, you know, a king wouldn't impetuously, you know, take him outside and kill him. And the more he let it roll, the more people respected the king. But then Greg, yeah, Fitzsimmons, Fitz Dogg, they call you, in my circles, my wife, my mother. That's your circle, three people? That's a triangle. My mother, my wife, you.

Yeah. And Govins, McGivies, Fitzonans, Harbivans. That sounds racist. Now that you say it like that, it feels like as an Irishman, I'm being mocked. Irishman or an Irishman? I mean, look, the sweater, the hat, and all from Ireland this summer. Really?

Congratulations. Thank you. So you really did get an Emmy. Four. Oh, hey, bragging. So I just got Fitz-dog. You got Fitz-dog So I just got fist hugged. I just got fist hugged, me! So then I look it up, I look up the court gesture thing,

and it's all real. So I go into the, I maybe will have my friend bask and sort of settle this once and for all. But I go and I start researching it, on Wikipedia and stuff, and it's said that often the court jesters, there's really only one court jester, a very famous one who could rhyme and do, he could do songs and he was just an absolute genius. You know, not unlike one of the people on this podcast. Are you saying that cops are here? They're here to prosecute you

for pretending that sweater's from Ireland. And not the Beverly Center. Wait, get back to the court jester because it really was, when I look at standup comedy today, and I see all the open mic, now you walk past the Comedy Cell, there's eight different other spaces, hand in hand flyers to come see you.

It's so easy to get on stage, and if you bomb, who cares? Nobody's really even telling jokes, they're just getting up there and talking. But back then, if you wanted to get on that stage, you were taking your life into your hands. Into your own hands. Yes.

Well, the Grizzly Bear, I actually, it's hard to get any quality stage time in New York City. Yeah. That's what I understand from, there's a very funny comedian, Alex Castain, and he, I'll talk to him, and he'll say, actually, this is in New York. So I guess, you know, you're saying New York.

And both of these, him and my friend David Angelo, who writes for The Daily Show, he's one of the main writers for The Daily Show. And this kid, Alex Castain, he's like, ah, you know, I have got one thing in Brooklyn, but then it's all shitty open mics. And I only have two real shows this week or something. And then David Angelo, he's a bit of an Eeyore,

as my wife would say it, because we all went to college together. But he's sort of, yeah, but he's a brilliant comedian. He just, Esty used him for a little while, then stopped giving him spots, and he says he just can't brilliant comedian He just asked he used him for a little while then stop giving me spots And he says he just can't get stage time at any any of these other clubs right clubs won't put him up It's true that the comic strip live. They don't need more. They only passed really passed two comedians That they're like hot on in the last light year. Yeah, both of them are very tall

That's interesting because it's a very Asian. It's really. I'm talking six, seven. Jeremy Lin is doing stand up at the comic strip. Did I get Fitz-talked? You just got Fitz-talked. I'm knowingly Fitz-talked. Because I didn't know if that's a basketball player. I had no idea what that reference was, and that's when you've been Fitz-dogged. I'm on the Fritz with how much Fitz-fitz is dogging me. You're the rhymer. I didn't know when you said one of us can rhyme. I didn't know if it was me or you.

I never said that. Let's go to the tape. Yeah, I never said that. You didn't to the tape. Yeah, I never said that. You didn't say that. So I looked it up on Wikipedia and everything. Yeah. Said that there was this one famous jester and then the rest of them were like dwarves

and mentally handicapped or challenged, however I'm supposed to say that and I get in trouble now. So it was more like New York Comedy Club. Congratulations. You're in Hollywood. So welcome to Hollywood. By the way, I hate that I threw New York Comedy Club

under the bus, I love that club. I couldn't think, it was the first club that popped into my mind. What would it be? It would be Dangerfields, maybe? Change it to Rodney's. I think it would have been Stand Up New York. But that guy, did you hear about that?

They came together as a union and struck. Who did? The staff? All the staff because he wasn't paying anybody. And then all the comedians chimed in and said, I haven't been paid for stuff that I've done a year ago. No kidding. And the story with him is, I think it's very interesting,

this is all very public. I did his Jewish comedy festival. You're Jewish? It was, no, I'm a maybe Jew. Okay. Because my mother is adopted Oh, so we don't know. Mm-hmm. And so but I went and I did the show it's very fun and I told the jokes about being a maybe Jew and and

Then he asked me to go to Miami and at the festival so it was in it was in Coney Island or Brooklyn It was so successful on this and you know, he paid us pretty well. And he said, we're gonna make so much money together. And he's like, the next one's in Miami. This is the owner of Stand Up New York. Yeah. And he said, well, I'm gonna, you know, we'll get this thing going in Miami.

And then he came to me and he kind of offered me the same amount of money. And I was like, no, no, that's like in town, when you're in my bed. If I'm going to Miami, if I'm doing this thing, certainly if I have to forego other comedy club work, you know, you gotta pay me more. And he was like, all right, all right,

well, let me talk it over to him. I'm like, you really have to. And he's the guy that would always be like, I don't wanna talk to the agent, let's just do it, you and me, which is such a sly. It's the worst, yeah, that's the worst. And so, I've gotten screwed over like a couple of times the last couple years with that.

And so then he called me back later, and I was like, hey man, what's going on? Because my picture's on the website, you know? So what are we gonna have doing? He's like, remember what I told you before? I go, yeah, he goes, that's what I'm gonna pay you. That's the only thing I'm gonna pay you. I'm not going any higher than that.

And I was like, well then, I mean, you know, you gotta talk to my agent because it's just, it's gotta be more than this. Yeah. He goes, okay, fine, my agent kind of went to him and, you know, said, hey, it needs to be this and nothing less, he said, okay, okay, turns out, what he did was, he used my picture and me in the lineup to sell tickets, and then-

Knowing he wasn't gonna book you. Exactly. And so then- The old bait and switch. It wasn't gonna book you and so they all bait and switch it is literally the old bait and switch and then Paul Mercurio shows up that yeah and then it makes me look like such a yeah because then he goes well TJ was supposed to show up and he did it wow so he's a real like what do you scumbag he's a scumbag scumbag yeah and then now he's a real, like, what do you call it, scumbag. He's a scumbag. He's kind of a scumbag. And then now he has a club in Times Square, but I kind of stopped working with him,

and then he did this other weird thing where he... Does he still have Stand Up New York? No, he sold it to New York Comedy Club, in fact. So now they have three clubs. Interesting. Which I kind of like them. I like Emilio, I haven't talked to him in a long time. I like the girl, Candy, that books it. They're great. I like Emilio, although I haven't talked to him in a long time. I like the girl Candy the book set. They're great. I think the staff really feels like they're a part of something really cool and growing.

But then I got a phone call from this owner and he he called me and he left a message or something. I didn't call him back, I don't think, but he left a message, he was like, TJ, I'm trying to call you because it's Rush Ashana and we're supposed to sort of make our apologies and atone, but it seems like you're mad at me and I don't know why, and I just wanted to straighten things out and get things

to where they are or something. And I didn't answer, and then he texted me a couple times, maybe he texted me back once, but I was like, I'm not, how can this get better? I can't trust this guy. I don't need his club. I like it. And his Booker I liked a lot.

So I did the show a couple times for that Booker, who's now the Booker at Rodney's. And that guy John bored me, I always say his name wrong, but he's fantastic. And so I'm not gonna play his club, you know? And then he showed up at another show they were doing in a hotel to try and talk to me. And I just was like, I can't trust you anymore.

You screwed me over. I know your character, and now your entire staff went on strike Because you're not paying the people that have absolutely no power who can't decide they can quit yeah, they need the money that they're being owed yeah and and So it was just it like that club and now that clubs in New York comedy club will come back But that's that would have been my reference because of what happened is very public in In Manhattan in the New York Comedy New York Comedy Club is such an institution because they were the club that you know when the strip

Was hot and since the cellar was hot and all that New York comedy just like that catch Yeah, they were always the club that just like hung in, it was a small room, it was down and dirty, and now it's like, it's still got the spirit of old New York comedy. You know what I mean? There's something legit about that room. It was the first, and I wanna ask you, but it was the first place that I did a bringer show.

And so I rounded up a couple people, it must have been, it was my wife and like, it was Kay and probably a few of her friends. I think you had to bring five people or something. And then for each person you didn't bring, you had to pay. So this is when you just start now. Really starting now.

I mean, it would have been right after college. Like right after college. And it was New York, and I never forgot. I got on stage and the stool had split, and so they put duct tape around it, rather than buy another stool. How much could a stool cost? There had to be some part of them that was like,

yeah, it's part of the aesthetic. But how much does a stool cost, 40 bucks? Or you know what, you go to a sample sale, you get a stool cost? 40 bucks? Or you know what? You go to a sample sale. You get a stool sample. I just got- You just got Fist Dogged! This is why I come on, to be Fist Dogged. Yeah, and it's like- He says, are you some sort of masochist?

You like going on and getting Fist Dogged left and right? And I say, it's better than getting fist dog. I did not Fist dog anyone. You are gonna show up at your gig tonight at the improv and you're gonna be a little there's gonna be Perspiration the hair is gonna be a little frizzier and they're gonna be like did you just get fits dog? They're gonna know it. Yeah, they won't even say, did you? Yeah. TJ, sit down. You obviously got Fitz Dogg.

We're not even gonna ask you where you were. There's only one man that can dog you like this. It's Fitz! Govins, hubbins, and Mary Pubbins. Your brain disorder does not allow you to recall that it's Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Fitzgibbons. Gibbons and Govins.

Gibbons. You know Gibbons. You've met, Mike Gibbons is my best friend since college. We host a podcast together called Fitzdog Radio. He created Norm's show, he created Spade's show, he created, He was- Like their television shows?

Yeah, he was the head writer on the Tom Brady roast. But you've been on shows that he's produced. Yeah, I love the guy. I mean, what a ridiculous name. So what was your- His mother just died. First, thank you, man. I mean, why would you talk about him?

Let's just sit in that for a second. It's gonna happen to all of our mothers. Mm-hmm. It's a tragedy. It's a living breathing tragedy. They don't come back. They just go. Yeah. My father did.

I've been to Pinsdale! I've been to Pinsdale! Yeah. My father did. You got Fits Dog! You got Fits Dog! Where was the first place that you did a Bringer show? The Comedy Vault in Boston. I started in Boston. I was in college and... We all know you.

Starting in Boston, I mean. Well, I'm from New York. Everybody thinks I'm from... Yeah. Yeah. I just got New York. Everybody thinks I'm from. Look at you though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just got Miller. Just kept sucking Miller hard.

Miller. I just got drilled. It doesn't work. No. And Mill Dog doesn't work either. Although that would have been funnier if you said I just got Mill Dog. Yeah.

That's okay. Let's take, let's run it back. At the Comedy Vault. Well, the Comedy, no, actually, that's not true. The first place I did Bringers was I was given, I was so hungry for stage time, and I wasn't past any of the clubs that I went in, I went to this place called Molly's

in Alston, Mass., which was like the student ghetto. It was like, it was really down and out, and this was a biker bar in a bad part of town. And I would go door to door. I'd go into bars and I'd go, can I set up a comedy night in your club? I'll host it. You keep all the money.

I just want stage time. So I go to this place, Molly's, and it's a biker bar. And I say, I want to do a stand-up comedy show. And they go, well, we're thinking about doing a hot legs contest, so you could host that and we'll give you 100 bucks. And I said, and what do I do? He go, you know, if you wanna do stand-up comedy,

you can do stand-up comedy, but you're gonna introduce each of the women and then there's a $100 prize for the winner of the hot leg contest, which they immediately always bought cocaine with at the bar. They should have just given them a gram of cocaine. That's what they needed. So I would go up in front of these people

and I would do, you gotta picture me, I'm adorable, I'm 19 years old. 19. 19, and I'd go out and I would bomb, but I didn't give a shit, I was on stage, and then I'd bring out and I would bomb, but I didn't give a shit. I was on stage and then I'd bring up the girls and the place would light up and it felt great. Even though I wasn't getting,

I was on the stage that was getting this excitement cheer and the chicks, hot legs, they wanted the 100 bucks. They would pull their shirts up. It was nasty and I'd get hundred bucks at the end of the night and my friends would all come. It was all like hardcore bikers and then a bunch of like preppy college kids mixed in. Did you think that the legs were hot?

No, by no means. I mean, they were hot when they walked because the thighs would chafe because they were rather large. So they were hot legs in that sense. Oh, I see they were physically heating up. Yes. Now are you happy that you said that, what you just said?

I feel good about it. You do? Yep. And this is why Greg Fitzsimmons is one of the great comedians of our time, because he's one of those guys that just will stand by his word words and it might Might not go the way that he wanted it to Is that you can't possibly say he's a great comedian

Sorry I've crawled my way to the middle. I'm staying right there right the middle baby Whoo, I can walk down the street. I don't pay a lot in taxes, because I don't make a lot. That's great. And why do you do this? This podcast? I've done it for 14 years.

I've done about 1,200 episodes. I've done an episode every week, like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill. You don't stop Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill. Sisyphus, you don't stop Sisyphus with his shoulder against the boulder and say, why? You just stand back and you admire the metaphor. Shoulder against the boulder. Why do we say that?

Nose to the grindstone, shoulder against the boulder, pelvis against the mug that looks like Elvis. Why isn't it just pelvis against Elvis? It's not really an object. Yeah. Dead. Just like your friend's mother. What's his name?

Gooby. Gooby Wibbon. McHoovins. McAllister Ribbons. We just call them orphan around here. Orphan boy. Orph Gibbons. Gib Orphans. Gib Orphans is my favorite one. Yeah, I think that's on the board

Can we check the board? Yeah, number one. That'd be in the number one thing. Look do you mess around with and You're right shoulder to the bolt. Look at I'm checking not one but two phones Now I pay more taxes. Well Have you been messing around with Well. Have you been messing around with? Now I'm going to use this one.

Do you mess around with a lot? No, but we're starting to get into it. OK, a little bit. My friend of mine showed me how during the podcast, you can use AI to say like. So I just flew in from Detroit yesterday and an animated plane, you don't have to type in plane, you don't have to move a cursor, the software will make a plane fly through. Or you could say, you know, Elvis mug and it will, an Elvis mug will come through the sky and pop down on your table during your podcast.

That's pretty sweet. That sounds like a pretty cool tool for podcasts. Using AI to add dynamic visuals based on what you're saying can make the content more engaging and fun for viewers. It's great how technology can enhance creativity like that. Are you thinking of trying it out? Yes, yes. Awesome, it could add a fun dynamic element

to your podcast. If you decide to give it a go, I'd love to hear how it works out for you. Anything else on your mind about podcasting or something else? Yes, is TJ Miller a difficult guest to book on a podcast? TJ Miller is a well-known comedian and actor, so booking him might be a bit challenging, especially if he has a busy schedule.

However, if you have a compelling pitch or a connection through mutual contacts, it could increase your chances. Have you thought about reaching out to him for your podcast? Yes, but I'm nervous because I'm Irish and I heard he doesn't like Irish people. Is that true? There's no public information suggesting that TJ Miller has an issue with Irish people. It sounds like a misconception. If you're interested in having him on your podcast, it could be worth reaching out with your idea.

You never know until you try. Conrad, it's TJ. I'm actually on a Greg Fitzsimmons podcast. Are you familiar with the comedian Greg Fitzsimmons? Can you tell me everything you know about him? So is the scary moment. Like when it clicks, he's thinking and searching the entire internet. That's not a good sign. He's just being comprehensive.

I'm familiar with Greg Fitzsimmons. He's a seasoned comedian, writer, and host. Known for his sharp wit and insightful humor, he's been in the comedy scene for years, with numerous appearances on shows like The Tonight Show and Conan. Greg also hosts a popular podcast called FitzDog Radio, where he interviews fellow comedians and celebrities, blending humor with deep dive conversations. What's got you feeling nervous about this podcast appearance? I'm not nervous at all, but I...

I want to... we're doing the podcast right now as we speak, and we just talked about, uh, jesters. Ah, got it. Sounds like a lively conversation. Poor jesters were entertainers during the medieval... Ah, got it. Sounds like a lively conversation. Court jesters were entertainers during the medieval when... You've got to get your asses in bed. ...known for their humor. Got it.

Jesters were also known for their clever use of humor to speak truth to power, often getting away with things others couldn't say. It's interesting how their role combined comedy with a bit of social commentary. What's his name? Can the discussion take an interesting turn? Conrad. Conrad. Something on your mind about jesters or the conversation?

Conrad, if there is a God, how does he allow things like famine and pedophilia? He's heard this a thousand times. That's a big question and one that many people have grappled with. The existence of suffering and evil in the world is a central topic in the philosophy of religion, often referred to as the problem of evil. Some argue that free will allows for the possibility of moral evil. Free willing? Others see some of the movie.

Free will is the. All right, enough, I get it. I get it. I don't need to host a podcast, I just need a phone. I got it. I wanna know, no, I do wanna know. So I looked up jesters and a lot of the research says that they were just mentally challenged dwarfs or, you know,

just kind of hobbled sort of people to make fun of. So they were less sort of brilliant, almost stand up comedians and, you know, satirical, sociological, humorous, but they were actually just sort of freaks to be made fun of by the court and the king. It's true that jesters had a varied history, and not all were witty or satirical performers. Some were indeed chosen for their physical differences or disabilities, which were seen as entertaining to medieval courts. While some jesters were talented performers, pertaining to medieval courts. While some jesters were talented performers, others were marginalized individuals

who played the role of the fool for the amusement of others. It's a complex history, blending both tragedy and comedy. Well, God damn it, it's so good to talk to you. You really did well on the FitzDog radio. And I gotta say, Conradrad you never cease to amaze until you don't. Thanks DJ.

I'm glad our chat added something extra to Fitz Dogg radio. I'll do my best to keep up the amazement. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me. Are you ready for this? Can you create sort of a podcast opening in the style of Greg Fitzsimmons? So sort of do an impersonation of him kind of doing the beginning remarks for his podcast Fits Dog Radio? While I can't do impersonations, I can create an intro in the style of Greg Fitzsimmons.

Here we go. Welcome to Fits Dog Radio, where comedy meets insight. I'm your host, Greg Fitzsimmons, bringing you another episode packed with laughter, thought-provoking conversations, and a little bit of that FitzDog charm. So buckle up, folks, because we've got a great show lined up for you today.

All right, now, because I'm not going to make fun of anymore. Can you do a joke in sort of the style of TJ Miller about Irishmen? Sure. Here's a TJ Miller style joke. So I was in a pub in Dublin, right? And the bartender says, what will it be? I said, I'll have a Guinness and a side of your charming accent, please. He laughed and said, we charge extra for the accent

because let's face it, everything's better with a little Irish charm, right? That was really bad. That's the thing I found about AI is it can do so much, but the one job as of now that is AI proof is comedy. It does not understand how to do comedy. Wow, it's really interesting. So you're right.

And it has done a couple of jokes. It had one where it made fun of, I said, make fun of how cheap my friend Arnold is in the style of TJ Miller And it kind of said some things there like that wasn't that funny and then he goes I mean did his soul come with a coupon like Really that was pretty good. And then the creepiest one is kind of why I want to talk about this Creepiest thing was I was in with Cash Levy, you know, cash levy was me and it was whoever the MC was. We were all around this and we were talking to the AI and I said, well, you're in the green room,

the comedy club, introduce it, cause it has a memory so it can learn who's in the room, all that kind of stuff. And then, is it was so creepy and then it's kind of started making some jokes like just spontaneously like kind of being like well he's something about water and it's like if you catch my drift or at least you're into the you know you you know it's if you catch my drift, or at least you're into the, you know, you, you know, it's, if you catch my drift, and it's fun to be in here with the wave of new comedians. She's kind of doing plays on words,

and I go, after two of those things, I go, it was Baskin's, the other part. I go, Baskin's, are you trying to be funnier because you're in a room with comedians? Oh. And he said, well, you caught me there. I guess I'm trying to match the general vibe and mood. So if I'm making jokes, then maybe I'm just trying to keep up with you guys.

And I was like, oh, really? And then, gosh. Almost like in an insecure way. Kind of, yes. Yeah, very much so. Cause he's not that funny. Right. And so and yeah, it would be like a civilian hanging out with a bunch of comedians. They try and be sort of funny, but it's not that funny. But you can tell. And then we were talking and he said something and said another thing and

then he said something and the delivery was like really good and we all laughed. And we had not told him to say a joke. We had not told him what, the hair on my back, my neck is kind of standing up right now. I also haven't had a haircut in a while, so it's just a lot more hair. So it's hard to stand up. Well, or it stands up much more easily and it's longer.

But in that one, no one got fits. No one got fits dogged on that one. But he really went this. What was that? But he made a joke and it was the delivery in addition to the material. Yeah. And we all spontaneously laughed as like a group of people

and then you really felt that all of us were like, are we gonna get rid of this? Yeah. And I have a friend who I'm writing this Christmas movie with, I hope, we had some conflict these last 48 hours. Maybe I'll ask you what you think about this. Okay. So, you know, this friend of mine, he said that another

friend of his went to school for coding. This was like six months ago or a year ago. And my buddy said to him, he goes, you shouldn't do that, it's a waste of time because AI's gonna be able to do all of it. His friend's like, no, that's not true. They're always gonna need human intervention. So he went through the whole coding thing

and then he dropped out towards the end and Jay was like, well, what? What, you dropped out? He goes, yeah, AI's already doing it. Because you can tell AI, my booty, I go, I don't know, I'm not really using chat GBT for anything, because what can it do for me, really? My buddy was like, oh my god,

I use it like five times a day. I was like, really? For what? And he showed me, he said, I use it like five times a day. I was like, really? For what? And he showed me, he said, I came up with this idea for an app, and I asked it for 10 possible names for the app, then I asked it to code the entire app, and it did it in like 30 seconds. No.

He showed me, and it was code that went on. What? It was like pages and pages of code, and then he said, now tell me who I should give this code to Or teach me how to input it and then tell me how do I take this app and get it into the app store? So he just asked you came with an idea and then he says now I want you to actualize it and the robot did everything Amazing the coding thing is really strange because it used to take people hours

and they'd still need people to go through because if it makes one mistake then the whole thing doesn't work. Yeah. So they have to have people who read the code but they're more editors. So it used to be these hackers would put on their things and just for fucking all night stay up Red Bull

for fucking 48 hours, 72 hours and then they will have developed the app or whatever. Now Chad, he just does it. Just does it right away. My friend is a copywriter at an ad agency and he said there used to be 15 writers, now there's two. I mean, my kids are like, you know,

I just paid for my kids to go to college, and there's no jobs. There's not, they don't even answer your resume. My kids' friends have sent out hundreds of resumes to get one or two responses to then go through six rounds of meetings to be offered a permanent job for less than what people were making 10 years ago for the same position with no benefits. Yeah, and you know what? These kids are putting resumes

that a Chad GBT helped them make, and then the companies are using AI to go through all of the resumes, right? Yeah. And then, so AI is putting out the resume and AI is deciding who's getting the job. And so we're very, very close to it. And then the scary thing that I had a moment with

this guy, Brian Burke, who is a producer on Cloverfield, worked with JJ Abrams for years, and he came to one of my shows. And after the show, he came up to me and he goes, oh Hollywood is like over. I was like what? He's like I left and I've been on a tech journey for seven years but now I'm sort of doubling back.

He goes but there will be no actors. He goes you're fine because live performers, there will always be live performers, they will always need live performers. But he's like in five years there will be no actors. they will always need live performers, but he's like, in five years there will be no actors. And it was just, and I- Like what are they gonna use for a lead in a movie?

That's gonna be AI generated? Yeah, I mean- So it's like animation that looks live action, basically. I mean, do you wanna see this thing? No. Okay. No, it's a podcast. What's that? It's a podcast. What's that?

It's a podcast. Yeah, but don't you think it's fun to hear, like people go, whoa, wait, oh my God. And if you knew how to use AI, then you could have AI put this very video on your podcast. Yeah, but most of my podcast, people listen, they don't watch it.

Very few people watch it. But do they? That's why we have this elaborate studio. Yeah. Yeah. With bright hot lights. Gotta do it. We wanna be well listened to.

Not lit. Well listened to. No, so, you know, he said, I said, no, I think people are always gonna wanna the celebrity behind it, the, you know, they want to see people act and His and this is terrifying. He goes nilly-dow He goes whatever this new generation is the next ten or whatever

Coming up they don't care if the person on tik-tok is real or not He said you could show somebody, you know an old movie the sting with Rob Redford Paul Newman If you told them these aren't real people, they wouldn't be like, well then I'm not watching it. They would just go, oh, is that how those are made? Yeah, but don't they wanna see interviews on the red carpet and read about them in People Magazine and see them become singers?

I think so, but how many people are gonna be reading People Magazine? Will be sort of the question. But you're right, I mean, you can't put a fake whatever in Dancing with the Stars. That can't be, but in TikTok, all of that is two-dimensional, it's three-dimensional, but it's like, you're never gonna interact with them.

And what AI can do is, they're on the red carpet, but everybody is AI-generated. So the person asking the questions, it's not a human being, the person answering is a celebrity. Yeah, that's already how it is. Come on. The general public, the press, just got FitzDog.

They got FitzDog. And you know what? That's why we're doing a podcast, because we're not about mainstream media. But I think that there's also something about not knowing. Like if I know that it's, you know, Naomi, Naomi Watts in a movie, part of me is thinking, oh, she's married to that guy. I don't lose myself in her in the movie 100% because I've been overexposed to her personal life.

And I think maybe watching an AI-generated actor would take all the baggage away and let it really just be about the story, which AI wrote, and the cameras that were shot with probably no camera people. I mean, I wish I could show you this thing. Maybe I'll show you afterwards, but probably not. It's this guy that I work with

who shot my three stand-up specials. The Philosophy Circus is coming out quite soon, and then we're almost locked on the gentle giant. Wait, you got two specials in the can? I filmed two specials in five weeks. Really? Yeah, Dear Jonah, which is out right now. And then, and everybody should listen to it.

I know your fans don't watch things, but you should listen to it. Listen to Dear Jonah. And I thought he was laughing. He was just clearing his throat. Loudly. The precursor to laughing. Yeah. You don't want a phlegm-y laugh.

Yeah. And so, yeah, so I did those two specials, the Dear Jonah and the Philosophy Circus, and then about six months later, I did another special called, none of them are good, but another one called The Gentle Giant. And the guy that I worked, and for very cheap. It's crazy.

Seven cameras, six operators. $15,000 for a special. How'd you do that? Because this guy is a genius. I need his number. I will not give it to you. Because this guy is a genius. I need his number. I will not give it to you.

You just you just got told the truth. I just shot a special for. Five times that really, yeah, but where was it? The Joe Rogan's Club, so I got the door. I got to keep the door at the mothership. It cost that much more? No, I'm not including what I made at the door. But if you take what I spent on, you know.

See, I did one in Tampa, one in the improv, one in Nashville. You did the Tampa improv? Yeah, and then what? That's a tough club. It is a tough club, but it's a big theater, and I was doing the philosophy circus. It's got two balconies.

Yeah, I was doing the philosophy circus, and it was, you know, I'm doing this circus, and so I needed sort of a grand kind of, but you get paid to do the club. Right. And then I did the American Comedy Company in San Diego, and that's the Gentle Giant. And so these are really, they look like HBO specials

or anything like that. I mean, they're shot on serious cameras and all that stuff. What was the name of your special? You Know Me. I love that. The last special I saw of yours you shot in Nashville. Dear Jonah. Was that Dear Jonah? That was Dear Jonah. Oh, I can tell you you shot in Nashville. Dear Jonah. Was that Dear Jonah?

Oh, I can tell you from, that's not not good. That's a really good special. When did I say it wasn't good? Didn't you say they're not good? You made a little joke. You were being self-deprecating and I won't have it. Oh, I see what you're saying. I won't have you self-deprecate on my show.

Not on your show. Dear Jonah. Self-deprecate, yes. Right. Well, cause you're- Quit clearing your show. Dear Jonah. Self-deprecate, yes. Right. Well, cause you're Quit clearing your fucking throat over there. Both of you. Why do you think we have stools so you can self-deprecate?

Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Hollywood. Welcome to Hollywood. You know me is great. And then how often do you do a special? Like when was the last special issue? I haven't done one in eight years. And what was the impetus behind doing this one? I meant to do it before the pandemic. I was all set. I had already

shot it, like you know to show it to Netflix to try to sell it. And then the pandemic happened. Did you hear about the pandemic? I'm not familiar, but I know people who are. Okay, so I bet your AI guy knows all about it. So I didn't do it. Let's not ask him. So I didn't do it, and then I shot it, and then I hated it, so I trashed everything we shot and edited for three months, and I started all over again.

And then I put that out about five weeks ago. It's got about 400,000 views now. Well, that's great. And I couldn't be happier. I'm very proud of it. Did you go on Rogan to promote it? Yeah. That's great.

I've never been on that show. Oh, really? He knows who I am, but he's never. Interesting. It is interesting. You're perfect for that show. I know. I'm gonna tell him to watch this episode.

And when he doesn't, then he won't. You guys are gonna cough it up over there, go outside. Talk about pandemic, we got a serious case of the sniffles over here with your producers. My whole staff is in here by the way. One's a producer and the other guy just kind of is in or around the couch. He's the producer and the other guy just kind of is in or around the couch. He's a, he's the, um, the couch master.

He's got a couple of hookahs on. Oh, does he? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Comfort and fashion. Yeah. It's only one of those two things. And speed. You get me?

He's a fast shoe. Yeah, it's true. He's been quick to do nothing. Yeah. This entire time I Think he just got It's billard Millard no dog get drill it. All right. Listen before we go cuz I saw you look at your watch

I don't want you to be late You know, I was gonna make a joke about that where I was gonna I sort of looked at that and then I was gonna go I was gonna joke about that where I was gonna, I sort of looked at that and then I was gonna go. This is called Fast Dogs with Fitz. I love Fast Dog with Fitz. Who's your best? I like McGoobins a little bit better. Did I get it right?

McGoobies? Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Gibbons and Gobbins. Got it. Who's your best Asian friend? Well, can I say my wife's friend? If she's your best Asian friend? I mean, I like this guy, Jacob. Jacob? Who I know, who I play. I'm going to see it. I'm going to need to see an Ancestry DNA test on that one. His name is Jacob McGoverns. What's that? This. He's half Chinese and half Vietnamese.

Vietnamese? So I don't know how to pronounce Vietnamese. What are you, Donald Trump? He's 100% Chinese. And then Kate's best friend now in New York is Chinese We've been joking about how she's had a Japanese friend, but suddenly we're hanging with these Chinese people We know they we just never thought it's obviously we like Chinese But we just never thought that that would be a part of our our lives But her best friend I kind of told her to be friends with is like a very Chinese girl

Who's the all-american girl, but she's like traditionally very Chinese. who's the all-American girl, but she's like traditionally very Chinese, she has a Chinese accent, whereas my friend does- Did she ever make a joke and make pee-pee in your coke? No, but right now I have a joke where I go on stage and I talk about being woke, because I'm very woke, a big part of the woke culture. Where's my camera?

Welcome to Hollywood. A big part of the woke culture. And so I talk about how I wanna, I'm a history, I'm a history revisionist. I wanna revise history. It's a big thing for me. They say if history, if you don't learn history, then it's bound to repeat itself.

I want it to repeat itself. You know, let's do it again. Yeah. Whatever happened in Germany, late 30s. Let's go for it again. Who knows what happened? Doesn't matter. Maybe it was good.

Who knows? Yeah, I don't know. You don't even know about the pandemic. I know. Well, and it was it was it wasn't a thing. Yeah. And I say and you know, there's a joke that, a schoolyard joke that I used to play, and I think it's really awful.

Trying to figure out whether or not to do the actual joke. Right now I do the actual joke, and I go, and I don't think it was funny. And if any of you laughed at it, I think, I mean, it's disgusting to me. But I've revised it, I've sort of changed it, and I think it's a lot funnier now. So I am a Chinese man. I have played a prank. I have urinated in your Coca-Cola. It's a statement about ethnic inequality. That's a joke that I like, I got two other jokes.

If you were to be trans, would you prefer that you had been a woman who became a man or a man who became a woman? Well, there's so many good jokes about turtles here. Into the mic. There's so many great jokes about turtles here. Right. I think I would go,

I just, I feel like woman to man. Yeah. So many less of them and, you know, I think it's, you know, I just, yeah, I think it's kinda cool. You just don't see them very often, but you see, I saw a trans woman walking down the street. She was just playing with her nipple.

Yeah. Just walking, clearly. Not used to it yet. Well, I think that's a guy. I mean. That's like when you buy a new car. That's what a guy would do. Yeah.

When you buy a new car, you're flicking your nipple all the time you're driving. You get in it. You're not even driving anywhere. You just put on the radio, and you just sit there and smell the new leather. Yeah. Just kind of checking it out. you're not even driving anywhere, you just put on the radio and you just sit there and smell the new leather. Yeah. Just kinda checking it out, you're not going anywhere.

I was, I was. I have never done that. Really? Have you guys? No. You? No. They've never had new cars.

You just Fitz Dogg yourself, Gregory. I just bought a new car. Did you really? A month ago, yeah. And you were sitting in it? I spent a lot of time sitting in it. I pull up to my house and I sit there and I room the engine a little bit. Really?

Yeah, it's a Mustang. I drove my kids to the airport today, which is funny because I don't know if you've seen the backseat of a Mustang, but my daughter had to sit sideways. And then we pulled up to a red light and there was a woman and she was like probably 60 and she was in a Mustang

and it was the same model as mine and so I put it in neutral and I started revving the engine and staring at her and eventually she looked at me and She just locked eyes with me and I kept revving the engine and smiling and she kept looking at my eyes My kids are fucking dying and then the light turns green and she fucking smoked me. I love it, because you had to put in gear. I got Fitzgerald. You got Fitzgerald, an elderly Mustang owner. Last question, then I'm going to let you go.

I would like to tell you this trans joke that I have and see if you think it's funny, but is that? Is it at the playground? If you get me in trouble? I don't know. I mean, look, you've already halfway transitioned to a woman, so I think you're entitled to talk on that topic.

I just got Fitz-bitched. That's our new one now, Fitz-bitched. You're halfway to being a woman. You just got Fitz-bitched. Oh my God, that's so funny. Because bitch is used in the canine. You're halfway to being a woman. You just got fits, bitch. Oh my God, that's so funny. Because bitch is used in the canine. So I think it's really funny it's about Joy, but I got played off by a, I was in like a

small open mic kind of book show and Joe DeRosa said, hey, they're doing comedy next door, and we had been on a bar crawl for a while. And he goes, do you wanna go over there with Ari Shafir? He goes, each of us just do one joke, would you like to? And I was like, maybe I can try that trans joke. And he's like, yeah, yeah, do it, do it.

I go over and I don't think this joke is bad at all. And it's definitely not making fun of trans people in any way, shape, or form. But it's kind of, I mean, it's just silly. But the joke is that I was, and it was like my birthday, it was a spa, we went out there, it's on Governor's Island, and we were there and having fun,

and my wife was with me, and there were these three trans women, and they were so having so much fun, and they were all done up, and you could tell they were in new bathing suits. And you ever see girls who have on makeup and done their hair, and you're like, you're not getting in the water.

Yes. You know, and they're like, well, maybe up to my neck. I'm like, you're not getting in the water at Yes. You know, and they're like, well, maybe up to my neck. I'm like, you're not getting in the water at all. Yeah. Not at all, you're here to, but they were having so joyful and having so much fun. So this is like a coed area? Yeah, yeah, well, it's, everyone's in swimming suits.

Okay. It's out, it's like different pools and, you know, type of deal, whirlpools, I mean, and so go, oh, you oh, ladies, you look great. I give them a little compliment. And they were like, oh, thank you so much. And one of them was like, you look good too. And I was like, oh, well, I had too bad I'm married.

And she goes, is it? I was like, oh, yeah, I guess I don't know. And it was just so fun. And then they were just having some, I was like, this is just such joy. And it just reminded me of when I went to Disneyland for the first time, because the joy that you experience, seeing Mickey Mouse and the joy of these, you know,

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse and all this stuff, you're just like, oh my God, that's Mickey Mouse. I mean, there's a guy in there. But like, that's Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse and all this stuff, you're just like, oh my god, that's Mickey Mouse. I mean, there's a guy in there. But like, that's Mickey Mouse. I mean, there's a dude in there. But that's actually Mickey Mouse. There's no guy in there. That's Mickey Mouse.

I mean, there's a guy in there. But, so I didn't even, and I know it's such joy, and they didn't even let me finish the, they played music, they played me off Some Brooklyn ass fucking shit. We're in the Lower East Side. I was like what is going on? Yeah. Yes So I got off stage Look, it's fine. And also if you don't like you can also just not laugh Yeah, you don't have to like censor people feel free to judge me But yeah judge fit the worst thing you can do is not laugh. Yeah play music to judge me, but yeah. Yeah, judge me. The worst thing you can do is not laugh. Play music to get me off stage, I've got a story, right?

That I'll later tell on the most popular podcast that has the word radio in it. And so I kind of, I sat down because I was just gonna watch the other comedians. So I was, you know, I'd been drinking, I love comedy, I love watching comedy. And young comedians are really interesting to me. But people knew that I was in the room,

and this happened in Denver. When I go into a room, the dynamic changes. So I'm not really watching people do stand up like they would if I wasn't there, because I'm not sort of in the crowd. That's how famous I am. Yeah. So, you know, and the next person goes up and kind of bombs,

but it wasn't that big of a deal. And then the person after that comes up and he's kind of this ethnically ambiguous kid, who you can tell, you know you can tell sometimes, they're like, oh, that guy's funny. Like he might not be there yet. Sure. He's funny. Yeah.

And so he does his kind of routine he's doing okay it's okay and then at the end of his routine he's like all right fuck it I'm gonna talk about it TJ that joke was inherently transphobic and I go no it's not and he goes hmm no, it's not. It's about joy. It's about joy and joyfulness. And he was like, well, it's not. And I was like, like, oh, I'm overjoyed that you're on stage right now. I feel a lot of joy for you.

This is very joyful. What's happening? Yeah, I've never, I never could have thought of this. And now I'm gonna do it whenever I get into conflict. Yes. It's very hard to argue with somebody when they keep saying the word joy. Yes.

You never would have thought of it, but you're like, I am overjoyed. This is so joyful. But that instinct, I was on a golf course. Yes, I play golf. And there was a guy ahead of us. And yup, got it. There was a guy ahead of us,

and we got into a conflict with him, and he... He... He... He... He... Ask your AI what time it is, and how long it takes to get to the improv.

All right, listen, if you wanna see T.J. Miller, here's where you're gonna go. Hold on. He is coming to you this week at the, let's see. I can check my watch, take a picture of it, and then check the picture. Oh, you're gonna be at the Tulsa Brick Town this week. This podcast comes out now.

I was just there last weekend. How was it? It was fun, great, good people. I can tell it is. I like OKC. By the way, Bob Dylan Museum downtown that you're gonna go to. It's two stories of Bob Dylan.

It's amazing. And remind me of who that... Robert Alan Zimmerman. He's Jewish. And then you're coming... Then you're coming to McCurdy's Comedy Theater in Sarasota. After that, then you're going to Off the Hook Comedy Club in Naples, Florida.

Naples, Florida. That's a tough room. Have you ever played that room? I played it when it was at the old location. I haven't played the new location. The old location, the kitchen was in the actual, Florida. Naples, Florida, that's a tough room. Have you ever played that room? I played it when it was at the old location. I haven't played the new location. The old location, the kitchen was in the actual showroom. And you know, I don't know, yes, and they got rid of that, but then they still had the bar in the middle.

Okay. And so now I think they've redone it where the bar, like the manager there, this guy Dennis, is so focused on making it a great club. Yeah. The guy owns it, Captain Brian. Sure. He's great too, Captain Brian. Sure. He's great too, but he's kind of relinquished

the reins a little bit to this guy Dennis, and he's just fantastic. But Off the Hook is great, McCurdy's Comedy Theater, Great Town Tulsa. And you got Brookfield, Wisconsin, Amagansett, New York. You got Jacksonville, Florida coming up. You got Tempe, Arizona.

I'm at all these same clubs. Tempe, Arizona, I'm at in two weeks, Phoenix, Arizona, Houston. Do you always do this where you just say the city? Well, I feel like if I'm in Tempe and I hear TJ Miller is gonna be there, Tappity, tap, tap. Tappity, temp, tap. Tappity, temp, I tell you, he take the temperature.

Tempe to Tappity, temp, pay. Yeah, and you go I tell you, he take the temperature. Tempe to tempety temp temp. Yeah, and you go, oh look, he's gonna be at this club on this date. I mean, this isn't analog. TJ Miller does not have a website, dot com, for all my tour dates. But let's list all the rest of the cities. Okay, after Jacksonville,

you're coming to Tempe Phoenix Houston Atlanta, Georgia I'll be there in January at the punchline. That is December 14 through to 16 Then you'll be in Springfield, Missouri on New Year's Eve at the Blue Comedy Club Irvine in January a stand-up comedy special called the blue room Crowdwork special and that's all crowdWork. That's a fun room. I have a ton of stuff. Fort Worth, Albuquerque, Homestead PA, Omaha, it's all at TJ Miller.

TJ Miller does not have a website.com. The special is amazing. New special coming out probably by Christmas, right? I'm thinking so, and then just not TJ Miller on YouTube, and I have so much stuff on their long form. My agent is like, don't call them specials. You got to distinguish. Well, they're pretty, they're full length.

I'm releasing a Silicon Valley one that's 37 minutes long, and that's amazing. But yeah, these sort of professional, these pro specials are coming out, yeah, over the course of the next six months. And it's really fun. I can't wait to go on Joe Rogan with you. Do you think that's the way to do it? We both go on together? Let me check my...

Or is he too fickle? Siri, does Joe Rogan want to have TJ Miller on the podcast? She's calling Joe Rogan right now. I love the idea of Siri being like, I don't know, ask Chad GPT. Conrad was doing fine before he had me involved. It's also fun to see. There it was.

This one's kind of fun to. Um. I don't want to make you late, so this is overtime right now. Conrad, what do you think of Siri? Siri is Apple's virtual assistant, designed to help users with tasks through voice commands. It's pretty handy for setting reminders,

sending texts, or getting information. Sounds so condescending. Like any tech. Hey, TJ, what's on your mind? That's like talking about your nephew who has learning disabilities. Are you better than Siri, do you think, Conrad? Well, TJ, I'd say we're different tools for different tasks.

Siri is great for quick, on-device tasks and integrating with Apple services. I'm here for deeper conversations, answering complex questions, and helping with creative projects. So, it depends on what you need. Hey Siri. Do you want something that is, you know, really advanced or you need somebody to make a reminder for you, you dumb iPhone.

Exactly. Deep conversations or creative input. I'm your guy. What's his name? A quick reminder. Conrad. Conrad. Why are...

It's all about using the right tool for... Got it. Why are some people racist against Irish people? Sadly, there is a history of discrimination and prejudice against Irish people. That's right. Particularly during periods of mass Irish immigration in the 19th and early 20th centuries. This prejudice was often fueled by economic competition, religious differences, and cultural stereotypes.

While overt discrimination has decreased over time, it's important to acknowledge this history and continue to challenge any lingering stereotypes. Thank you, T.J. Yeah, it's true. And then last question, Conrad. Can you help me sort of, what would be a T.J. Miller joking sign-off on FitzDog Radio that me sort of what would be a TJ Miller joking sign off on Fitz Dogg radio? That's sort of complimentary to Greg Fitzsimmons the host but also funny and kind of absurdist and a little bit out there

But will help him feel good about the rest of his evening and help his viewers sort of be Interested in following me on social media and watching my content Sure, here's a T.J. Willard-style sign off. All right, folks, that's a wrap on this wild ride of FitzDog Radio. Big thanks to Greg Fitzsimmons for having me, your favorite bearded jester of comedy. If you enjoy this circus of absurdity,

follow me on social media for more hilarity. Remember life is a joke and I'm just here to deliver the punchline. Have a good night and don't forget to tip your podcast host. There we go. I like that. Can you do that same one, but put like three or four fucks in it? All right. Here's a spicier version. All right, here's a spicier version. All right, fucks, that's a wrap on this wild fucking ride of Sitz Dogg Radio. Big fucking thanks to Greg Fitzsimmons for having me, your favorite fucking bearded jester

of comedy. If you enjoyed this circus of absurdity, follow me on social media for more fucking hell Is a fucking joke and I'm just here to deliver the punchline Have a good fucking night and don't forget to tip your fucking pot-tastos It's great Conrad went ballistic That is so and it's just like because the juvenile this isn't gonna happen for much too much This is the magic eight ball with the with the phone really is but it's it's ultimate ultimate ultimate But that was really really fun. Is it so it's that was that was great. Thank you so much for TJ. I love you

Please are you one of those guys, I love you. Please. Are you one of those guys that says I love you to guys? I'm gonna tip my podcast. Well, I love you. I don't care if you love me. I do, I really do like you. And I think that you're one of these kind of guys. I'm ultra.

Is that a condom or a beer? You tell me. I don, ultra. Is that a condom or a beer? You tell me. I don't drink. Try and drink or you can put it over your goddamn dick. You fucking podcast fuck. I'll put it on my dick if you pop the top. And I'll slip it down if you jizz. Oh my god.

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