F**kface - 500 Groan Tubes // Dying In Every Universe [198]

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew address the company closure as well as talk about the Ratyboy announcement, McDonald’s salt delivery, Eric taking a phone call mid-record, the groan tube, who can clog a toilet quicker, the amount of merch inventory that will be leftover, the cheese trophy, no one can take Ian from us, Oscar movie reviews, Woman with the Red Lipstick, Andrew’s moms opinion on Poor Things, Emma Stone’s nipples, search engines, ancient Hotmail, catching a rubber pop up toy in between your buttcheeks, Andrew stepping in the trash bin, dying in other universes, magazine prices, and more. Sponsored by Shopify http://shopify.com/face , Füm https://tryfum.com/FACE , Factor http://factormeals.com/face50 code face50 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh It's me it's Eric from the future I should have been prescient about more things but but I'm here and I'm here with Nick Oh, there's not enough time Eric. Get home for long I can't we don't have a lot of time But we have to tell you about some merch drops our last merch drops the last face merch drops ever on Friday the 15th at 10 a.m. We have the exclusive Friday the 15th at 10 a.m. We have the exclusive Gerblers. For first members we have multicolor Gerblers,

the purple that goes to green, and for everyone else, the face Gerple Gerblers. Nick, hang on. Nick, hold on, there's a little more. Hurry, hurry. On 3-29, the 29th of March, we have the Sloppy Joe's jersey. We also have the face hat.

We also have the foam hands and the release of the face cookbook. We're running out of time Nick. These people have to go. We have to go. Keep listening. We'll see you later. Bye. Am I recording?

Oh, god damn it. I am recording, okay. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Mike Tyson's fighting Jake Paul, 198. Take it away. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey and with me as always, a very unemployed Andrew Panton, a very unemployed

Gavin Free, a very unemployed Eric Bedore, a very unemployed Gracie Flynn, and a very unemployed Nick Schwartz, and a very unemployed Jeff Ramsey. How's everybody doing? This is 198. Reason for termination, job elimination. I always thought it would be much cooler than that. Yeah. I thought it'd be funnier.

I have unlocked an ick that I didn't know existed. And this isn't directed at anybody in particular, but I have learned there is nothing lamer than being laid off from the company you founded i gotta say i think that's a distinction that not many people get to claim i'm gonna wear it i don't know i don't know if i'm gonna wear it as a badge of honor or failure but i it's a badge i gotta wear i guess is it a layoff because the company i wasn't sure about that because when i think layoff i typically think

percentage of company when the company yeah 100 i don't know if that is a layoff you remember when they shut down the halo 2 servers but anyone still in a game could just sit in the game yes we thought about that i thought about that yesterday a little bit it's like what if we just start an episode of face at like 4 59 p.m on the final day and we'll be the last we'll be the last people out hey can i can i can i break character for one second in this moment i want to i want to say something with sincerity because we're we're now laughing and we're making jokes. We are making the most of maybe the most painful thing that's happened in some of our lives. And certainly, it's up there for me. This is devastating. And this is not a laughing matter. A lot of lives

have been affected and we are heartbroken for them and for ourselves, honestly. And everybody has to figure out what to do and how to pick up the pieces and move on with their lives. But this podcast is a place for fun and a reverence and friendship. And it's my therapy and it's Gavin's therapy and it's Andrew's therapy. And the only way I know how to be with you guys is the way we are.

And so we're gonna do this podcast the way we do this podcast, which is to make fun of our lives and be self-effacing because that's all we got. So out of character now. Yeah, I'm dead inside. I think I was worried

that it would just be another round of layoffs and we would somehow survive and still be doing it. I think, I mean, as sad as it is i am kind of glad that we're all just going out together at the same time i can't i i can't agree with you more on that that the idea that we are in that we are together and in the same boat and just so the world knows and anybody who's listening to this podcast together the six people on this podcast right now are in it together

hell yeah fucking dragon years man I tried to warn everybody this is my fault this is dragon year I extended a little beyond my means a little bit we got a little rat man involved

boo we need to... Let's talk about the things. So, I don't even know where to begin with the mishaps that I have encountered and just the rakes that I've put down to step on at this time. I guess I'll start with the things

that you guys know. Ratty Boy, in the works for a long time. Nick just sent a thumbnail thumbnail we posted on youtube so for context uh the episodes release on youtube at 8 a.m pacific uh 10 p.m central and because of that 10 a.m central 10 a.m central yeah uh but because the episode comes out at that time and this supplemental piece announcing ratty boy came out on the same day nick and i had to talk of like oh we'll push it 30 minutes uh after the episode launches so it's not the same release a little bit of breathing time but still around for the youtube audience uh and that is when the all

hands meeting was that we learned so like simultaneously with the announcement of the company uh closing we posted a youtube video called an announcement and it's just the face logo with like six different questions as the information was sweeping across the company i got like spotify and apple podcast notifications ping in that just said an announcement dude i i was only tangentially aware that this was all going on andrew you were kind of working on this and i don't want to say secrecy but uh you were kind of handling it uh off to the side and we were all distracted with other things and uh and so this is all happening i was so i was just like what the fuck are we doing?

What is, I can't look at it. I can't look at it right now. I got to focus on this. But I was so, I still haven't watched that 13 minute video. I don't know what's in it. Oh, you haven't seen, you haven't seen any of it? No, I've seen nothing of it. It's nothing good.

Don't worry. It's nothing bad. It's nothing. What happened was holy shit no when you see when you see an announcement video your mind always goes to the worst place and so i thought i need to try to mitigate this so days prior i had recorded a little intro because we recorded the bulk of that segment like in december and we've been waiting to announce this for quite a while and just figuring it out and it's been in the works

for months so i wanted to record a little piece at the beginning that was like hey calm down everything is all good so literally the beginning of that video is maybe like hey it's an announcement and actually the announcement is great don't worry worry about it. It's fantastic news. We'll get more into it. What are the chances? What are the timing? We never have put out just a blank announcement, surely. F*** face is the most f*** face thing in the history of f*** facing.

There's going to be people making their way through each department's announcements, finding our one and being like, what? So that's... I guess they don't mind? Every step of the way in this ratty boy reveal was just, like, the worst timing, and it was... I had... It was a complete... A genuine blindside. And in the grand scheme of the company what nothing announcement as well you take that ready boy ready boy legend that's a big deal regardless of the context oh oh man that's funny but that's just so that's that's one layer of this. I'm going to pull up a tweet that I made.

I quote tweeted the announcement before saying the biggest deal in entertainment. That also wasn't ideal. We did a tease that the ratty boy. I'm just screenshotting it right now. We did a tease on social media that ratty boy was coming uh and and people were like oh another let's play type thing so then i tweeted this i tweeted this the day before and uh it's just it just builds the amount of once i as i said before the rakes i stepped on i tweeted i quote tweeted the tease and I said as much as

you may think you know what's coming I promise you aren't close I'm so excited for tomorrow it's absolutely ridiculous oh my god continuing the chain I'm just imagining people at Warner meet Warner Discovery just being like does he know does he know what's coming why is he so pumped about it so that's that and jeff knows this and maybe jeff i'd love to see the results of this uh i forgot i did this i'm watching an all hands meeting i'm crying and then i get a notification on my phone that your doordash order had been picked up. I, the night prior, because we were going to record that day, scheduled for the following day

a burger order from McDonald's for Jeff that had everything removed but salt and then double salt like we talked about before. So in the midst of just being devastated, I then had to reach out to jeff but explain salt from mcdonald's i believe to see if that that was a thing it arrived i was too busy at rooster tea saying goodbye to all of the people that i love and care about because i was losing my job but when i got home i had i had a I had a McDonald's package waiting for me.

It was such a nice surprise. Had the salt gone cold by then? Yeah. It didn't arrive in the way he thinks it did. Here, hold on. I had the presence of mind to take a picture before I threw it away, even though I was pretty out of my head yesterday. Let me see. Where did I put it?

What do you mean threw it away? You didn't use the salt? Yeah. I'll show you. Here's'll show you here's what came they they sent me this image so plain extra salt no regular meat no bun right and here's what i got what What? Oh, what the fuck? They always send the meat. I don't think they're allowed to take the meat out. I got a hamburger patty and nothing else.

Audience, if you haven't seen the image yet, it's just a fucking... And I didn't get any salt, to my knowledge. Andrew's so quiet because he's angry. He's fuming. He's on the phone to McDonald's right now. He is right now. He's calling the ghost of Ray Kroc to complain. Oh, he left.

No. I can't believe it. I'm taking your difficulties for a moment. Did you try and print something? Did you print your severance? Everyone sounded like I was printing the law, so I had to reboot my audio setup very quickly. Hello, this is Eric.

That's terrible Hey, you want to meet somebody want to tell somebody what's all Eric to mute Eric? You're not muted. Yeah Second of all first of all Eric you're not muted second of all how dare you take a call in the middle of the Nothing I go, hey, what's up? How's it going? Oh, nothing. Nah, I'm not busy. Busy with what? Nah. It's just chaos around here. I imagine people coming in behind us and pulling filing

cabinets out of the rooms. Oh, man. Thank you, Nick. Jesus Christ. They once again sent the patty. They refused to not, even though it's an option, they send the meat every time. Casey just called Eric a moron there's that

that's the funniest moment of 2024 gracie's gloves flew off the second we found out the company was gone god damn we're getting unfiltered gracie now gracie what do you really

think of Eric? He's tired of busting in doors. Yeah, we know. Eric, you fucking idiot. He just answered the phone with fun. We know. We're aware. Jesus Christ.

I don't know if this is as funny as it feels or if we're all just so fucked up right now. Everything is like our emotions are all over the place. But God, I can't know if this is as funny as it feels or if we're all just so fucked up right now. Everything is like our emotions are all over the place. But God, I can't stop laughing. Oh, no. So can I continue with how we fucked up? I fucked everything for everybody. Yeah, I've been in the works. You guys don't know about this.

I've been planning a little thing with tony for literally months now tony the genius behind our merch you may remember year or not years i don't know why i said years feels like years this week has felt like years uh months ago i pitched an idea on the show that i talked about with tony and you guys were like yeah we'll do that yeah like fine like there wasn't a lot of you're like whatever type feel to it where we each would come up with our own products and then have Tony make them or if they were doable and then proceed with them and so I did that it was sort of a reaction by you two and then some time passed and then Tony reached out again and said hey uh do you do you want to proceed with this idea?

I know it didn't seem like a big moment on the show, but is this something you'd like to do? And I said, absolutely. I just need to think of a thing that I think is worth making. Like what is specific to this show? What is something that I'd actually want? And what is like a unique thing

to enter into the marketplace with and i thought about this for a long time if your idea is what i came up with i pitched an idea to tony i had to realize that my thought was what is the thing everyone could use and what is something that is related to us and something that i've never seen before i don't think this is a product that has ever existed let me introduce to you and the audience the one and only and well we'll get to that actually this is the clog tube i made my pitch was a grown tube plunger where the grown tube is the stick and the bottom part is the plunge. Oh, god damn. When do you ever turn a plunger upside down, though?

No, no, when you have the plunger in and you're trying to unclog and you're going up and down, it's making the noise from the force of you pushing up and down on it. Wow. Such a brilliant idea. it's making the noise from the force of you pushing up and down on it. As it bounces. Wow. Such a brilliant idea. I would love to hear what that's like with all the water clogging and glugging. Well, let's see if these videos might be too big.

I have videos that I could put in. Of you clogging a toilet? No, of... Let's see, it's uploading right now. These are tests from the warehouse where they had to prototype this thing because it's obviously a problem of it's about an air there we go that's one of the videos if you guys want to watch i'm gonna play this all right so it's a person so how it works is the grown tube would be separated and you twist tie it insane this is insane Andrew what the

fuck and then as you as you go to unclog do you think you'd start associating the sound with just everything that it feels like while you try to unclog the toilet like a Pavlovian response every time you hear a groan tube you just go oh

no diarrhea we get this into walmart we could save the company well where where was this idea three months ago it's been in the works and we're gonna get to that i had a whole thing planned one of the only people that knew about this was tpg i was gonna tpg was gonna get one this month and he was gonna shoot a commercial for it and that was gonna be part of the reveal and then once I had the commercial I planned on going to like a bunch of hardware stores and trying to pitch them this product

is like a thing that they should have just to get their reaction to it which I'm sure would have been amazing um so based on these videos the pressure of the water does absolutely nothing for the grow tube no it's just shaking it it's just shaking it but i don't know how often you're unclogging toilets gavin you can require some force there could be some bouncing going on

you know i've i've never been good at plunging well now it'll be fun let me ask you guys a question this this gives me a question but first off, by the way, Andrew, A++++ idea. This may be your best, this may be the best invention in the history of F*** Face. But how, like if we had a contest, do you think we could pull off a contest to see who could clog a toilet first?

Jesus Christ. And like, like if we all agreed we're going to start right now, like, we start right now, and then whoever can clog a toilet first. I can clog a toilet in ten seconds. Do you have enough shit in you right now?

Oh, I have to be with shit? Yeah, dude, come on, I'm not just telling you to go stuff toilet paper, I can put a fucking phone book on my toilet, it's dead. Well the toilet paper's what blocks the toilet, you can't block a toilet surely with just feces. It takes fe listen i have a toto that cleans my little asshole with with warm water every day and i still manage to clog that motherfucker once a week probably you're not using any bog roll i use bog roll a little bit i mean that's if you have a big

enough pile of turd and bog roll you're gonna clog a toilet i don't think i don't think i could clog my any of my toilets with here's why here's why you have baby shits you wouldn't win this contest that's i was about to say jeff this whole thing is from your insane perspective of shitting where you're like if i gave you 10 seconds right now like that is a thing that anyone could just do shit on command like you're like, if I gave you 10 seconds right now, like that is a thing that anyone could just do. Shit on command. Like you're always ready to go. So if you're concerned about the future of F*** Face and what it really means now that we're all out of a job,

don't worry, it's exactly the same. This is the fucking most deranged conversation I think we've done in almost 200 episodes. This is fucking wild, guys. What are you doing? This is nuts. Coming from the guy who was just on the phone in the middle of it. I didn't have a choice.

I'm trying to jump ship. The argument here is that you would have a contest where you take the biggest shit, no bog roll. No, I think you can use bog roll. I'm not saying you can't use bog roll. That's Gavin's weirdness.

I think you take a shit like normally. I just, I'm just saying like, if you like, cause you'd have to eat a bunch, right? You'd be like, what do I have to eat to shit bad so that I can shit so much and make such a messy doo-doo

that I need enough toilet paper to clean it up that it clogs the toilet. That's the contest. That's to see how, what can you do to your body to make a doo-doo so bad it clogs the toilet. That's the contest. That's to see what can you do to your body to make a doo-doo so bad it clogs a toilet. And who can do it first?

I mean, bananas and stuff really stop you up, don't they? Yeah. Maybe a banana turd would be really compacted. It's certainly worth checking out, investigating. How many bananas do you have to eat before you get a cloggy turd? It's also like it depends on your plumbing yeah we would we would need toilet consistency i guess it would it would be a whole thing but but to continue on i'm sorry just real quick you're you want to pit you wanted to pitch this to you would just go to like home depot and

be like guys you got to get this i don't understand what you're asking. I understand. He said you were going to, he's saying, Andrew was saying he was going to go to hardware stores around town. Yeah, yeah. I already talked about that. Yeah, yeah. It's going to reach different companies. I just, I don't foresee. Okay, that's fine. We can move on. I'm trying to think of you as like a Glenn Gary

Glenn Ross style salesman. No, no, no. It just would, no. I got a trench coat with all the. That's exactly what I'm picturing. I'm getting chased out of the Home Depot and it's making all the noises

of trying to run away. Andrew's like John Candy in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. He just. Yeah, that's a great parable. But here's the problem with all of this is this has been in the works.

They've been innovations. There's a prototype that exists. We are getting... These are supposed to arrive in May. Which I assume is post-company death. And there's 500 of them. No! Oh my god!

Wait. There are 500 clogged tubes en route. Is this why the company went under? I think it was Ratty Boy. It was the cost acquisition of Ratty Boy. You and Tony, in complete secrecy, that Gavin and Eric and I don't know about, you, in complete secrecy, manufactured 500 clogged tubes?

We were probably quite profitable before you did that. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard. I don't care. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard. I don't care. That's awesome. My whole plan was to unveil this when they were available to buy in May. Obviously, things have changed, so it feels worth talking about now. But once again, my fault of trying to plan for the future in a dragon year, and there's just 500 clog tubes that i don't know

where they're gonna go i don't know what'll happen with them but uh they exist i love that when a company ends there's always like a department of the parent company that comes in and like takes inventory and audits all the stuff but they're just gonna find 500 grown plunges it doesn't doesn't end there either because as you i think we've talked about i don't know if we've revealed this yeah we also made our own extendable thumbsticks with the idea of people able to buy them and do them simultaneously while we were doing the challenge. We innovated the product. Also, I believe, arriving in May,

and there are 500 of those as well on the way to somewhere. All right. Well, if anybody really wondered what it was that finally sank Rooster Teeth, I think it should be pretty clear. The recipe book didn't come out either, did it? No. It comes out next month. How many of those have we got i don't know uh probably 500 i have no clue god that sucks i hope that comes out okay we put so much work into that tony put so much work into that the amount of

stuff that uh was coming was ridiculous um yeah the other things that, my fault as well. I, uh... I also love, we gotta keep the audience... Just the fact that you're a contractor, too. You never set foot in the building. You just do this entirely part-time from a different country. This motherfucker is just pulling strings from Canada. And they're just unraveling everything around us. You know what's a great thing to do the day that the company announces it dies

is release a month-long trivia tournament everywhere for the rest of the month to find out who's the smartest of the now dumb unemployed people. I think it shows we had all this stuff in the works. I feel like we'd finally really hit our stride. We would just fire it off. In all seriousness, that's, I mean, this thing is beyond frustrating in a million different ways.

But from a creativity standpoint, it's frustrating because I agree, Gav. creativity standpoint it's it's a it's frustrating because i agree gav i really feel like from the moment we filled that whiteboard out in january uh or december whatever it was i just feel like things hit another gear and we've just been we turn let's play around we did dude we did we didn't even we did yeah the good news about the tournament is it's done like there is an end to that at least does it end off to the end of the company no no it doesn't it goes through the end of march so that'll that'll all be seen we get all our does it do's out as well, right? I assume so. We have an amazing trophy for it as well. You haven't seen this yet. Jeff, Gracie just sent this to me.

It arrived. The ratty boy. That's awesome. It's going to be our tournament trophy. It's a hunk of cheese. And it says the ratty boy on it. Is that real cheese? No.

But it kind of looks like that shitty like craft single yeah that's awesome we took it out of the box and i really thought it was a huge piece like real fucking cheese that somebody glued to this thing and i just went i don't what are we what are we making what are we doing but no it's fake apparently well to that end can i just say andrew just since you've been uh admitting to having so much stuff going on in the background that we weren't aware of that is just so impressive i was in the in the slow process of pranking you i'd been working on it for a while and uh i haven't done it yet i'm still i was still putting it all together, and I wasn't in a hurry, but I guess I'm still going to get you,

you motherfucker. Okay, you go ahead. You'll just see it coming now at some point. I don't know. It probably won't be while you work at Rooster Teeth, though. Can I say the one positive that I've taken from what has happened this past week? The one joy I have found is an ongoing bit in the show that has haunted me from what has happened this past week. The one joy I found is

an ongoing bit in the show that has haunted me is having to eat the pencil and the pencil trial that was so poorly received. There was discussions internally about having to make a statement

about it, not realizing what people were upset about. That's something I've carried for a long time. The fact that I was really led the way on what is the least well-received bit that this show ever had.

And I can now sleep better at night knowing that that is no longer the case because Warner fucking hated that you're not going to know when 196 arrives bit they were not a fan at all of that one we released that

and the hours later the outrage of not knowing of when 196 would happen so I'm going to take 90% of the responsibility but I also feel like that bit did damage clearly. I think it's an undeniable. I'll take the hit on that.

That one was my idea. I'll take the 10% hit on releasing the 196 out of sequence. Well, while you take the 10% hit, can I interest you in a 10% discount on sticks or a clog tube? Because we got some to poop. In all seriousness, that is something that I guess we'll have to address and figure out with the company,

what to do with the merchandise that has already been paid for and is already in route. Some of that stuff is probably on a very, very slow-moving boat from China right now. I'm hoping. It was like, like hey we get to go to america we're gonna go live a life in america it's gonna be so cool we get there and they get there and it's like uh yeah it's fuck shut it down we're

not send it back we're not interested where is over um i i would love and i i don't know we'll see we'll see the possibility of this i would love to somehow personally maintain control of ratty boy but if i don't it is hilarious to me that ratty boy is a warder brother sanity it's terrible you know what i you know you know the one that popped into my head that i thought that kind of hurt what i thought like we can and we can talk about at some point uh like what what the future looks like for us we don't know but we've got some ideas and i think we can speak in some vagaries that'll be at least encouraging to the audience uh but i realized if if you know it's entirely possible that in the future we're doing this but we don't have access to the previous

ip we might we might lose gerplerler I love the fucking Gerbler I don't want to I don't want to say goodbye to the Gerbler we might have to say goodbye to we might lose Ian no you can't lose Ian Ian was from fourth grade in my fourth grade class

you can't take Ian I don't know if are you familiar with like the Popsicle story with like frank epperson the guy that that patented the popsicle clearly like the creator of it he so the guy that made the popsicle he would get this like drink mix and he invented the popsicle as a kid because he got called in uh at night when he was drinking it on his front doorstep and then he left it overnight and it was frozen and was like the first popsicle essentially it became a thing that that the family made like every winter uh and then eventually there is he got sued by another guy

for ice cream for like claiming that the popsicle fell under the patent of ice cream that the other guy had and frank epperson was like fuck you i invented this as a kid on my porch like what are you talking that's how i feel about ian i'm taking ian ian was in mr heard's fourth grade class they cannot have ian i refuse that doesn't they don't get it the warner lawyers just dealing with the lawyers of your old school what are the lawyers like well i, he seems pretty serious about it, so I guess we better let it go. Oh, they don't want to tango with the Frank Nye Firebirds, okay?

There is some heat coming for them if they tried to take Mr. Heard's drawing class. Yeah, that's wild. It is wild week I wanted to prepare something for today I don't know I just felt the need I had a lot of nervous

energy today and I was kind of climbing the walls and so I was trying to think of like what I could do in two quick hours that could be a bit for the show and then I remembered an old bit I did a while back and I thought maybe it would be fun to revisit it because I had just about the right amount of time.

And so I thought, since it's Oscar season and there's a bunch of new movies that are up for awards and I used to do movie reviews and I looked, I thought maybe I'll review one of those movies that's nominated for an Oscar. And then I can just have like a one last movie review kind of fun thing. And I figured, well, maybe I've already seen all the Oscar movies. Let me look.

I hadn't seen any of them. The only movie I saw was Barbie. And apparently that got fucked out of Oscar nominations. So I hadn't seen like American Fiction or Oppenheimer or Killers of the Flower Moon or Napoleon. And I'm looking at all these movies and every one of those movies is 19 hours long. Yeah. And I was like, well, I have less than two hours, so I clearly can't do that. And then I thought it's kind of unfair to just pick one of these movies and review it

that's up for Oscar contention. It's unfair to the rest of the movies, so I should watch something different. And so I scoured the film archives, and I landed on a movie called Woman with the Red Lipstick, a lifetime movie thriller from the year 2024 about a woman journalist who, she's a crime journalist. She writes stories about crime and does crime investigation.

And she's got this hunky boyfriend. And she's quite lovely herself. Her name is Lucy. And one night they're on a date and he's like, I got, that's it, that's the movie. Woman with the red lipstick.

That's perfect. That's her hunky boyfriend. That's her, right? And he's like, no, Christ isn't in it. And one night they go on a date and she could tell something's a little off with him. And she's like, what's wrong, man? And he's like now Christ isn't in it and uh and one night they go on a date and she could tell something's a little off with him and she's like what's wrong man and he's he's like I just do you

just feel like we're getting a little rote like it's like the same thing over and over again you don't don't you feel like maybe we need to spice up our love life a little bit and she's like I guess I don't what do you mean and he's like well what if we did like a role play what if we just do like a role play thing and she's like yeah okay whatever she's into it she's like she thinks it's a little weird but she's like yeah I do like a role play thing? And she's like, yeah, okay, whatever. She's into it. She's like, she thinks it's a little weird, but she's like, yeah, I'll try a role play thing. So then she goes to work the next day or a couple of days later

and there's just a box on her desk, right? And the box has a wig in it and some red lipstick and a scarf and an identity. And then it's like, put this on. Your name is Maggie. You're a such and such. Meet me at a bar at 10 p.m. and just be there and have this drink.

And she's like, OK, I'll do it. It's a little weird, but, you know, I want to keep the romance alive. And so she puts it all on and she she wears the special scarf and lipstick and everything. And then her boyfriend shows up and he's in this like dumb red like college jacket and he's like hey i'm like a college dude and so they're like flirting around and it's kind of funny and it's working you know she thinks a little weird but it's working and then he just gets this weird look in his face and he's like the lipstick's wrong i don't like the lipstick take it off and she's like that's weird so she takes off the lipstick and then they continue and then they have awesome passionate sex and it works and everything's cool she goes to work the next day

the fucking tv is on in the break room and there's a news report about this socialite by the way they live in chicago this all takes place in chicago tons of great stock footage of chicago it's beautiful throughout the film maybe the best part of the movie is the stock footage uh and so uh on the news report this is fucking crazy this gorgeous socialite who's just about her age is disappeared she's just not at home nobody's heard from her uh nobody knows where she is they don't know if something's happened to her if it's foul play or if she just left town and she a picture pops up she just up, and the socialite has blonde hair and has a scarf exactly like the scarf she put on last night,

and the socialite's name is Maggie. Oh, my God. Shit gets crazy from that point on, and I don't want to tell you any more of it because it could spoil the whole movie. But if that sounds interesting to you, I would look out for

Woman with the Red Lipstick, a 2024 thriller from the Lifetime Movie Network. When you think about comedic duos in the past, you may think of people like Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy,

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on the homepage. It's called Slapper, She's French. How was it? I didn't really watch it. I probably watched five minutes and then i went away and then i saw that michael mckean was in it and then i went to sleep okay good review yep the thing that it really amuses me about the woman with the red lipstick is the idea of her going opening the box and just imagining all the different things that could be in the box

like she opens it and my head immediately went there's like a pair of the whole hands yeah you got it's hulk hands your name is bruce banner and i'm gonna meet you at dave and buster at 7 30 let me let me give you a little bit more because it's such a good story so then she's like i gotta start investigating maggie's disappearance and she's real good friends with the detective in charge. And she goes to him and she's like, what do you think? And he's like, she just left town. There's nothing. There's no signs of a struggle.

Nothing. She's just she's rich and she's got money and she has had a fight with her mom or something. She left town. There's nothing to it. And she goes, OK, I don't know. But she feels a little weird about the whole thing. So then she starts looking her up on social media. And in every photo on social media,

Maggie is unhappy. She's graduating from college. She's frowning. She's out at a bar with friends. She's frowning. And Lucy realizes something is wrong in Maggie's life because she's too successful and too rich and too beautiful to be unhappy in every photo. So she goes back to the cops and she says

look deeper i'm telling you there's something going on and so the cops do and they find something she is missing it was an abduction that's where i'll stop well i i wasn't gonna watch it before and i'm certainly not gonna watch it it now. I appreciate the continuation. Social media. Edge of my seat. What, you don't want to watch it? No. I know what happened.

I think you're fucking crazy. I think the boyfriend killed her. I know what happened. The boyfriend is the killer. I gave you the first 10 minutes. There's a lot of other characters that get introduced very quickly. They get easily introduced.

I think... Or there might not be a killer. It might be a kidnapper. Oh. Interesting. It is interesting, goddammit! Okay, okay, I'm back on! I'm back on!

Probably watch that instead of any of those seven-hour goddamn Oscar movies. Jesus Christ. Who's got time for that? I'm on IMDb. The top review gives it a 5 out of 10

with the headline, Skip It, and says that the show was predictable with flat acting and many continuity flaws by a weak Canadian cast. Oh, that's another thing, too.

Most everybody in it's Canadian. So I feel like you might understand layers of it that we don't. It was filmed in Canada. Yeah. Takes place in Chicago? Filmed in Canada.

Vancouver is typically, I feel like, fake Chicago in Canada. Well, I have an Oscar movie review of sorts from my mom. I haven't told a mom story in a while. Okay. She went and saw Poor Things, which I think is Oscar nominated. It's an MS ms i don't really know anything about it um she saw it and uh she didn't know anything about

it outside of it had oscar buzz and she she she said i saw i talked to her and she told me it was really well acted there were things in in it that I didn't necessarily like, but the performances were really good. And when I hear that, that typically means it's a weird sex thing is what I assume. I don't know anything about the movie, but then that was our talk about it. And then like two or three days later,

I talked to her again and she said, said, yeah, you know, can I tell you something? I said, can I tell you something he said can i tell you something you can't tell anybody else this and i said of course what's up you're about to tell somebody else this yeah well it's cleared i got it cleared since okay she said uh you know that poor things movie i saw i said yeah she said emma stone has the weirdest nipples i've ever seen and i worked i worked in a nursery in a hospital i've seen a lot of nipples what's her exact wording what

what's wrong with her i haven't seen the movie i don't know i haven't seen it either but that is my mom's review of four things very well acted emma stone is the weirdest nipples she's ever seen. She's ever seen? She's ever seen. She's seen a lot of nipples. She worked in nursery. She is qualified. If there's anyone who is qualified to make that statement, it's her. And no one else here has seen this movie?

I don't know anything about it outside of that. No, it's too Eastern European weird. It looks so like Slav weird. I I've heard it's good but anytime I saw the trailer I just really thought that I didn't want to watch it her something about her eyebrows in the trailer creeps me out and so I won't watch it because of that I don't know what it is it's just every time I see it have you ever are there any other movies that you haven't seen

because of somebody's eyebrows in them? No, this is a first for me. That's why it stands out. By the way, I've looked. The internet does not have those nipples. They're not anywhere on the internet? They're weird. Let me try to bing it. Try to hide it.

Let me bing it. Siri. I hear binging nipples now that we've got no jobs. Bing in nipples. Images. God, I haven't seen Bing in a long time. This is wild. No, it's just a lot of pictures of her with like,

looking like she's in Minority Report with like shit connected to her head. What about Ask Jeeves? Oh. I don't think so. Ask Jeevesves I bet it goes to like answer.com or something oh I spelled it wrong well it's been a while since you've used it so it's probably all right uh it's still around let's see wow that's surprising. That was my browser of choice as a child. Not that there were a lot to pick from. You're a Jeeves guy?

I was a big Jeeves guy. I didn't understand how. I thought there was really a Jeeves on the other side. I was a Lycos kid. Just have the dog go fetch it. Yeah. Yeah. It's still around.

Lycos is still around. That's pretty cool. How do I spell that? L-Y-c-o-s uh i was a web crawler guy uh yeah because they had a cute little spider all these names are well lycos not so much but ass jeeves and web crawler so much more fun than just google chrome yesterday i think we're trying to find out if if who was older Gracie or my email address Was there ever a determination on that

When did you make your email? 2004 Okay, I'm older than your email. Okay, my hotmail is from 2000 though That's crazy, I love that you still have a hotmail man. I use it for Xbox Live. So do I! Whatever the hell. I thought Gavin, I thought you were about to say for business and I was gonna go You use your hotmail for Xbox Live? I use a live.com email address which I don't even think they have anymore. Wasn't it after hotmail? It was. Huh.

But they don't have Hotmail anymore. Well, what did they, no, they got rid of Messenger. That's what I'm thinking of. MSN? Whatever the, yeah, whatever that was. Oh, wow. I like that Eric said that thinking nobody else here uses it, and Nick and I both like, yeah, me too!

Eric, how do you not use your Hotmail? Why would I have a Hotmail Nobody else here uses it. And Nick and I both like, yeah, me too. For the exact reason. How do you not use your Hotmail? Why would I have a Hotmail account? You never had one? No, I did in like the late 90s or early 2000s, but I don't have it anymore. You don't like your emails to be piping hot when they come in? No, I'm more of a cold mail man. Oh, you're a cold mail guy?

Yeah, I like cold mail, yeah. Oh i like the the urgency of a hot email is uh hey just circling back jeff you ever find those nipples or what nah i never did i gave up looking though anybody else feel free to google if you want i uh i'll be i've already moved on mentally how weird could they be yeah Eric let us know if you find them yeah keep going Eric me and Gracie are on the prowl we're searching yeah don't worry guys I'm searching for the nipples hard I don't

that was unfortunate additional I think you meant with urgency but the use of hard was regrettable that's a very narrow search on something that already appears to be hard to find um not what i meant so we've heard your your mom's views on butt plugs and nipples yeah i wonder what's next uh yeah. I don't know. She has. There's a woman in the building my mom lives in that she's become friends with, but she doesn't know my mom's name. Like they met once and she misremembered her as like a different name. I'll just use Robin as the fake name.

I don't remember what it is. She's like, hey, Robin. And my mom was just like, hey, how's it going? And now they've become friends, but she's still Robin and she doesn't know how to she doesn't know how to correct that. So that is outside of it. Okay. If I were your mom, I would just change my name.

Are you ready? I found pictures. We're going to have to delete. Be careful posting them in here that you could get fired. Gracie, leave. Yeah, Gracie, look away. What? Why can't what? Why does Gracie have to look away? Everybody's a grown-up.

If anything, we should have to look away, and Gracie would be the only one that could look at him. Oh, that's fair. Alright, whatever. Do that. We'll all look away, and Gracie can tell us what she thinks of these nips okay here's what they look like we don't get to see three two one oh i mean wait what's that well can they be deleted are they can we close can we open our eyes yet is anyone looking or am i really looking? We're all covered by eyes. The first, so there's two photos. One is like a collage and then there's a single photo. The single photo is a little bit more alarming than the collage.

What alarms you about it? I feel mean, but like it's a little puffy. But I feel really mean. This is a weird conversation. Can we delete the picture so I can open my eyes? Jeff, this was your idea. Y'all just gotta look. Now I don't want to look.

I thought they were going to be like robot nipples or something. No, I don't think they're that weird. I thought they were going to be like metal cones. For Andrew's mom to remember them, I'm not seeing it. Yeah, I don't know what Andrew's mom saw. Maybe there's a different part of the movie. These are nothing one way or the other. All right, I'm opening my eyes.

Oh, okay, have a look. Oh, they're just boobs. Yes, there's nothing. That book's down to nips. Yeah, yeah. I think Gracie did a great job describing it was very nice and just trying to find something that was going to be

okay what could it have been that his mom thought was weird I feel like if I if I it's so hard to phrase anything about this I feel like I wouldn't be an eyelid to this no I know what you mean absolutely

can I delete this now? I wish you would. Wish you would. You know, the singular, the singular, do you ever do those things where they're like rubber and you'd push them

so they'd go inside and then they'd bounce? Like you'd push them into themselves? Yeah, yeah. That's what it looked like on the singular machine. Ping up off the table?

Yeah. Yeah. That was that. They look kind of like a diaphragm. Do you think if you turn one of those little rubber things inside out and then squat it over it, could you catch it in your ass cheeks between them? Yes. No.

Yes. Well, actually. Can I manipulate my ass cheeks with my hands? Yeah. Yes. Now that would be a good video. Would it? Yes. Now that would be a good video. Would it? Yes.

Because we can put all the, you know, all the jennies can still be contained. I don't know. I think it depends on... Is there like a limit to how many you try a side-by-side in like a hospital gown So you wouldn't see anything gruesome. I think that'd be an interesting video Because it's just like a person squatting over the ground and then in the bottom of Like the hospital gown is the only thing you can see and then when you hit the thing and it pops up into The air it either comes back down or it does

It's just gone. It's just gone if it disappears you did it It could almost be like a magic trick where David Blaine has made the smallest Incision in his pants and has timed it perfectly and knows the angle to catch it like it has disappeared I think I could catch it in 20 disappeared. I think I could catch it in 20 goes. Oh, I could catch it in 15. Ooh, Eric? No, thank you. Have you seen the clips

of that show where they have to try to figure out what the song is by notes and they just go back and forth? This is the worst version of that. I think I could catch it in seven. I think I could do it in six. I don't know. Let's see it. Let's see it happen. I don't believe you. I don't think i could catch it in seven well i think i could do it in six i don't let's see it let's see it happen i don't believe you i don't think i could do it and this is coming from someone who has uh gripped a shampoo bottle i just don't think i have the timing i think i'd struggle you always tell it like you had the shampoo ball at any point if you can oh I definitely did

Come on. No, I guess you didn't do anything with it. I know no no I was stable I said it was in there I think the only hard part about it is your is the aim right? Because if it doesn't go straight up into your asshole it could bounce off your cheeks or something and you it's gonna be hard That's true to correct because you can't really see it you might want to squat pretty deep yeah but I really do think like if it if I feel it hit my like like like my you know the hole I feel like I could I feel like I could grab it pretty fast I feel like you'd have to have an eye on it because you wouldn't be able to react based on feel you want to clench shut you would have to see it go and then

preemptively clench maybe you could see in a mirror or something. Hmm. Hmm. I don't know. That'd make it harder to film. But I agree with you. Or you'd have to like, pop it two or three times, feel how long it takes to hit your asshole, and then be like, okay, and then just mentally prepare for that amount of time. What are those things even- are they just poppers? Is that what they're called? What are they? Ipers is that what they're called what are they i don't know what it's plastic i don't know launcher i just i don't know if i came up with the term poppers or stick one on the end of a grown tube you got a little tiny little plunger

we can glue one to the to the key chain to grown to and you can have a a plunge tube on the go and they're called party poppers party poppers party poppers are the freaking pull pull the string oh these are glitter poppers i guess there's all sorts of variations, but poppers is the key. I had a experience that happened recently and I realized I process things. I think it may be a unique way, but I'm curious if anyone else does this. So I was cleaning.

I cleaned my bathroom recently and I have this little wooden like trash trash type thing you know if you put garbage or whatever into but i don't use it at all it's just there uh and so i was moving that around and then i had a shower and uh i i don't like having the light on in the bathroom so i do everything in the dark in the bathroom for the most part and when i was stepping out of the shower i stepped in the wooden box but thankfully that wasn't my first step i had one step out normal floor second step right into the metal or the or the wooden container wait why was it why was it out in the middle of the floor because i was cleaning around the toilet where it typically is. Oh, so you dragged it out. I moved it up, and then I had a shower, and I forgot I had moved it. And thankfully, I went left foot, normal, right foot, right into my wooden container.

What would you say is your stronger foot? I would, probably, oh, that's tough. Left foot, I guess. I think I'd go left do you kick with your left? yeah which leg did you cock back to kick the child? yeah if you were to kick a child

in the chest right now would you kick with your left foot or your right foot? clearly you wouldn't do that but if you did I think I would do my right but that's because I would feel that I'd have a better stronger base with my left foot on the ground i think it's your left foot on the on the skateboard yeah but for most people for most people no i mean on the picture of the skateboard of the vancouver child kickers is left

oh yeah i'm flashing back to my childhood when I, I wrote a skateboard once and I do believe went left top. But anyway, I stepped in the bin and if I would have been foot first in the bin, I would have, that would have been so bad. I would have, I don't know if I go through the wall. I don't know if I break something,

but I would have went down hard and whenever anything like that happens and I avoid what I view as potential disaster I think about the idea that there are endless like multiverses and and I think from my understanding of like there's a version of like the idea being the version of you in every scenario that plays out and I instantly go wow there's a version of me that just got really fucked up oh that sucks that sucks for that me and I don't know if that's weird or not I just process

for the first time of like I don't I've never talked about that I do that all the time yeah I think all the time like oh man somewhere in the universe Jeff just died yeah like he fucking like that car didn't stop and that Jeff died I find

it quite an icky feeling just to be like whoa that could have been life changing yeah I have that to maybe an extreme extent where sometimes I'll be laying down to like have a nap or whatever and I think every second I just died in some timeline.

Do you want to hear my crazy theory on death? Yeah. Oh, I'd love to. I guess. I think everyone dies of old age in their own universe. Wait, so like JFK was not that JFK was not part of our universe

Yeah, so when people die they die in our universe And then they just switch to a different one where they didn't die and they just live on everyone keeps living Everyone gets really lucky all the time Do you think I know it? Do you think you're like? That was weird, but I just have a bad dream anyway Or you do you think like well, I could have just choked on that hot dog. And then in the other universe, you did and died. And then you just warp into a universe where you didn't choke, essentially.

I mean, I can count a bunch of times where I should have been dead. And it's just so, it's like, how am I alive? Yeah. And I just figured, like, I must just have pivoted to the other universe. You know, it's so funny you say that, because we have that conversation about you a lot. Like, how did he make it this far? I'm just, like, dragging you all through my universe with me. Well, that's comforting to know that if I die here early,

I just am warped to another universe. To a ripe old age. Unless I do something too stupid there, then I die and just warp to another one. If that's true, how many universes do you think you're on? I'm probably on my fifth universe. Okay. Oh, that's low.

Isn't that low? I mean, I'm talking about events where i likely would have died would have died i see yeah okay so we're not talking about the infinite possibility of everything that could happen to you it is the things that have happened yeah and then you look back and I just somehow escaped death. Okay. That's interesting. I have to think about how many... Too many to count. Eric said, like, if you're in Key West in a shower.

Yeah, there's a tragic version of Eric that, to a bunch of other us, he went down in the shower and he never came back up. There's a universe where we all truly believe in the curse of the silver. There's a universe where you're telling people, no, my friend died. My friend died. Like, he did it. He was foolhard no my friend died. I swear to God like he did it He died Fucking like it was only a wedding weekend and 18 hours later. He a fucking dead was dead by water He shot shampoo in his own eye and drowned

Can I how does how would this work in the scenario in which you all created of either strangling me to death or shooting me? Am I doomed in every universe in that world? You never came close to us choking you to death. It was hypothetical.

It was all hypothetical. But I'm saying in the world in which that is... The hypothetical, I'm saying, if that was a reality, the whole point of the hypothetical is to treat it as though this is a thing you need to encounter. Based on your theory, I would be hopping from just the same death into the same death over and over again. That would be my fate. I would reset and then I would come back and then it would happen again. Then I would reset and then I would I'd come back and then it would happen again then I would reset

but hypothetically you're totally fine with it and it's not a big deal I because I don't remember it like I guess it would be whoa chef almost just shot me or whatever strangled me to death yeah no I don't I don't think I like Gavin's theory

in that hypothetical why do I feel like I died yesterday every day when i wake up um yeah you guys ever uh you guys ever pick up any magazines lately i just actually bought a magazine subscription like last week, but I don't. To like paper that comes to your door? Yes. Paper that comes to my door. I have,

I have missed that experience. What is yours? Uh, I, I subscribed to architectural digest and I tried to cancel that subscription yesterday because it's stupid money. I don't need to spend. And it's,

they make it impossible, but that's not the point of this. Uh, the point of this is I was at the grocery store the other day and I picked up a magazine that I thought about buying because it had like a, it was like one of those like 30, like Better Homes and Gardens, like 30 summer recipes that in under 30 minutes or something.

And I'm always like looking to cook quick and easy for Emily and Millie because I'm the one that's at home all the time. And I went to buy it. Let me show you. And then I didn't buy it. I wish I had prepared better for this. I gotta find these images now.

I'll just say it. How much do you think a fucking magazine at HEB costs? I bet it's absurd. $15. Yeah, I was gonna say like $12.99 or something. The cheapest one I found was like $13. The most expensive magazine I picked up was $17. What was the $17 one? I'll try to find it um I took photos of it I was just horrified every but every magazine was at least $12

and it was stuff like like I said like uh southern living better homes and gardens like whatever impulse magazine would be uh at a grocery store I Emily looked because she didn, because I was telling her about it, and she thought it was so crazy. She looked. You can buy a yearly subscription to each of those magazines I saw for cheaper than the one magazine you would buy at the grocery store.

It's insane. That's what I'm wondering, too. How does it work? They're clearly priced at that point because it works for them. I just don't understand. So do you think that's what all the people on magazine stands do?

They just buy the subscription and then sell them individually for the price of their subscription? No, no, I don't. I don't think that's how it works. Yeah, yeah. I think they subscribe to like 10 of the same magazine just to make sure they're flush

I like subscriptions to like cop monthly. Yeah. Yeah, I think you might be onto something there I was thinking about how I would have equated that is like a teenager with you sing $70 my brain went That's almost a DVD or three video or one video game. Yeah. That was like my main 20 bucks DVD, 60 bucks video game. That's how I think about shit too. I got to say the, um, my watch for,

uh, Nick in the mask is coming to its end soon. Oh man. So is the company. Oh, that hurts. I will say that when I stepped in that wooden box on Sunday, I was like, I'm a lucky guy.

And those feelings shifted real quick. This universe, Andrew. Big L. A few days later. I'm convinced, though, whenever you die in your original universe and you have to switch to the other one and continue living,

it's never as good as the previous universe. Do you get, like, generation loss? Like, you're a little shittier each time like copying a VHS tape I don't think I have changed just the world Yeah There's a worse world than what we're in No, that's not All right, yeah, if you here, it only gets worse? I can't imagine that.

That's what you're saying, right? Well, I mean, everything was going all right, and then, you know, narrowly avoid death, and then there was, like, COVID and all this other weird stuff. It's definitely, like, a weirder version. So did we all die? Now we're here? Are you sure this is the good one?

No, no, no. You still exist on the good one. But I'm dead in it. Right? But now, because I kept living in my universe, I have my new universe's version of you guys. Can you do me a favor? Can you draw this out on a whiteboard?

Yeah, that might help, because I was on board. Now I'm off board. I'm a little bit off. What do you need help with? Just draw the whole thing and then let us know. I'm not just talking about you guys. I'm talking about everyone listening too. We share the universe.

We share this one. Until one of us dies. And then they move to their own universe where they share it with other people that are us. This universe we're currently in is permanent. And the people who die will die. But they'll just switch to their next universe. Okay.

That's full of us again. But you're saying that it's worse. That's permanent. The next one is worse. It'll be worse for the people who died. But everybody else is cool. We get to stay in this one. We get to stay in this one.

And the next one is worse when you die here. I just can't. I can't wrap my head around the next one is worse when you die here. I just can't wrap my head around the next one is worse. Why does it have to be worse? Can't it be better? Can you change your theory? Just in my experience, they're a bit worse. Before we wrap this episode, I just got a slack from TPG that is

the plunger arrived. Oh my God. Well, uh, head on over to store. Our rooster teeth.com while you can and get a ratey boy shirt. Um, have you seen how many we've sold of those?

How many? Thank you for so much. We've sold so many of that shirt thank you guys for buying i love every shirt i hate him i hate rady boy thank you for buying the shirt i hate him so look at his fucking i hate this art makes me so mad look at his little fucking face look at him his bart simpson fucking shirt can i get one of them? Yeah. You better get it fast. So I assume we'll have, at some point, some new information. We just don't have anything yet.

Yeah. I think it's okay to talk through that a little bit. Listen, the reality is that the company is going to end, and all of the intellectual property will be owned by Warner Brothers Discovery. I mean, it already is, right? That's how it works. And we honestly don't know what's going to happen. There are a lot of people doing a lot of hard work trying to untangle this and figure it

out, because there's a lot of different entertainment properties in Rooster Teeth that a lot of people would like to continue. And I will say, I don't want to say anything that's going to fuck us over or put my foot in my mouth or say anything dumb that I don't mean to. Because I really don't know a lot at this moment. But over the next few weeks, it's not going to be a quick thing to unravel. We're going to go through the process of figuring out what we can do about that. Can we take the face brand and continue on with it as such and maintain the back catalog and the gameplay content and stuff?

Or will it look different going forward? We don't know. The one thing that we do know is that we are going forward. This podcast will continue to exist as a matter of fact if anything it's only going to get bigger and fucking better because i think everybody involved with it is only motivated to kick the shit out of the future hell yeah absolutely and also i'm excited yeah i'm it's incredible I'm so excited as well that point we're also

not like immediately going anywhere like the show is going to continue on for I'd assume the next whatever month or two months I'll say this my goal and I can't promise that we'll do this but my goal is that the audience won't notice like they won't we won't skip a beat yeah that would you're not gonna like

they may listen some supplemental content and some gameplay content might slow down a little bit as we try to figure that part of it out but i don't want this podcast i don't want there to ever be a week without this podcast on the internet i agree and hopeful that that's obviously not a promise but if we can deliver on that we would love to be able to, we're going to do our goddamn. Just. Can I share the art that the ratty boy announcement also to add to the, the tonal,

how it really, it plays differently. My thought was that our mascot would have like sort of a beef with the rooster teeth mascot as like a itchy and scratchy thing. But ratty driving a semi-trunk running arty out of Austin damn it's unfortunate

god damn the timing is fucking insane I will say Nick said the funniest darkest thing to me the other day but it really tickled me and it made me laugh when I really needed it, when he said, I guess the name Artie's free.

You can rename your dog again. I forgot where we'd originally talked about that, but that was like a Halo Doubles Let's Play that came out. If you want to hear the moment where Jeff realizes he doesn't want to name his dog Artie anymore. Oh,'t happen on face yeah yeah it's because you suck you fucking suck ass dipshits it's only andrew yeah you're all the same i thought it wasn't you say arty and that's the mascot's name i don't know i didn't name the mascot or the dog i really feel like i'm not at all responsible for any of this well i don't think

i even knew the mascot had a name in that video the dog is is most definitely an albert at this point in his life and that is that is who he he is imbued with albert isms so he's uh that name stuck oh another thing that we i couldn't quite remember where i knew it from when i when i found out that jeff had been recording all this piss it wasn't emily that told me it was we found out in the middle of a does it do oh did we you were just playing you were trying to play a fart into that um video that we didn't want to make uh and you just kept playing piss in my ear magic ear that was it. Oh, Christ. I guess we should probably wrap up.

Thanks for listening. Thanks for... For what? Let's try to be sincere. I mean, no, I know, it's just that contextually, we should probably wrap up. It hits different at this current time. We should wrap up this episode so that we

can get to editing it so that we can release it so that we can begin working on the next episode I just wanted to say thanks for 197 episodes of support we really appreciate it that's an understatement I'll be honest with you I'm

pretty overwhelmed emotionally right now and I definitely don't have I feel like I emotionally right now. And I definitely don't have, I feel like I'm underwater a little bit. So I don't have the things to say that I would like to be able to say. But it means everything to us that you have supported us along the way. And we promise that we want to continue

and that if you will allow us your ears, we will do everything in our power to continue to entertain you. Thank you. Love you. Love you too. That sounded so weird. What sounded weird?

Gavin's love you. I thought it sounded sincere. It was very sincere and it was very sweet. And then I thought, oh, I should say something. Hold on. I didn't. Let me be clear. I just want to know real fast. We're making fun of Gavin here, not Jeff, right?

We're not making fun of you at all. Yeah, yeah, fuck Gavin. He's an idiot. I'm right on board with you. Let me get another take on it. The episode's over, dude. We already cut. No, just do that last bit again. I'll do it again, but it's already cut.

Something, something, and then's over, dude. We already cut. No, just do that last bit again. I'll do it again, but it's already cut, so we can't be in there. Something, something, and then oh my god, and then we just want to keep making content for you. You guys mean the world to us, and we love you. Hey, can I, sorry, one sec. What is happening? What is going on?

What the fuck is going on? I need one second. Remember how a lot of this episode was about how everything's my fault and that I'm the reason for old problem my recording stopped ten minutes into this so I'm plugged by Mike because it was acting up it stopped recording so when you left to acting up it uh stopped the recording so uh so when you left to uh reprint the lore whatever you're doing we haven't we don't have anything off to that uh it's 10 10 minutes uh is when my recording is stopped so the answer right the answer is no luckily we have craig maybe hopefully craig bye i mean what would get andrew what would you do if we were a real podcast? This is crazy. God damn.

I think I would still be unemployed. I don't think it would change anything. I think I would be equally employed. I'm going to go flush my head in the toilet. I'll see you guys later. Bye. Don't clog it. I'll stop recording.

Andrew, you don't have to cut. You're fine. You already got it. I'm already in the next afterlife. I'm way ahead of all of you. Hey, guys, Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of Face. Once again, due to reasons the boys haven't recorded yet. So in lieu of that, a poem by Dylan Thomas.

Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rage at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, because their words had forked no lightning, they do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, and learned too late, they grieved it on its way. Do not go gentle into that good night. Brave men near death, who see with blinding sight, blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height curse bless me

now with your fierce tears i pray do not go gentle into that good night rage rage against the dying of the light and once again andrew does not eat the pencil all that and more on next week's episode of face