F**kface - A Big Weird Start // Geoff at the Brahmas Game [151]

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about alter egos, a bit cheeky, Stewart also died, Geoff is ready to pop the claws, growing up, red ranger off the top rope, a major apple update, hemispheres of flavor, XFL San Antonio Brahmas, the best salute, Gavin gagging, Sloppy Joe's mic, and RTX F**kface museum. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] RTX is July 7-9. Get your tickets at www.RTXAustin.com to come see the F**kface Museum. Believe it because why not? Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/face50 and use code face50 ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/face and Shopify http://shopify.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It did look a little early. Not to get into a whole thing. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. This is episode 151. My name is Jeffrey Ramdo. Ramdo? Jeffrey Ramdo? Can I do another take?

Yeah, go ahead. You can do as many as you want. Are you going to do a preview? There's no limit. No, no, no. Yeah, go ahead. I was going to do a bit, and I forgot. You can do as many as you want. Are you going to do a preview? There's no limit. No, no, no, no. Yeah, of course. That would be crazy. Well, now I've completely botched it in all ways. My name is Jeffrey Paul Wright, and with me as always, Raymond Sommare in Canada and Pat

Gavindale from the UK. Are they all old-school eagles? Raymond, Pat, how are you doing? I'm great. How are you? I'm good. I'm i'm good i'm good i used my birth name the name i was born with jeffrey paul wright just in case you didn't know that i used to try and uh have like an alter ego character when i was at school it was called errol errol like errol flynn uh he didn't have a last name what what was the point of errol like what did he do what was

the character was the alter ego what was your thing uh he was like me but a bit cheeky that feels really weird to make a whole alter ego for just a little bit cheeky. Like, I feel like there needs to be a wider change for you to have an alter ego. All my friends decided to do it. Like, I had a friend called Frank, and he was like, oh, that was a little bit of Herman there. It would be like if I said I have an alter ego named The Flux, and the difference was I wore hats as The Flux. That was how you could tell. Like, it doesn't really matter. It's a the difference was I wore hats as the flux that was how you could tell like it doesn't really matter it's a slight difference you probably

came across the same I was probably 13 though so there's not a lot of logic behind it can I can I ask a question yeah Andrew you pulled the name the flux out of thin air so quickly it sounds like a name that you have been thinking about for a while. Did you just invent that off the top of your head? I did. I went through like three other ones and that one sounded the best. The Flux. Errol Flynn versus The Flux. We got superhero characters. We're set.

Oh my god, that's funny. One is a bit cheeky and the other wears hats. And his name's The Something. It's like a superhero. What's your power? I have hats. I wear hats. I have a head that can fit a hat.

Great. I don't get sun in my eyes, so I can see better. Reduce sunburns. That's a weird start, wasn't it, that episode? That's a great start. I can't believe that's maybe the biggest reveal to begin an episode. Yeah, that's a big one. Have you ever told anybody that?

Has that ever been in any other piece of content that you can remember? Errol? No, yeah, I don't think I've ever mentioned that. Errol Free. I went to try to convince Michael that my birth name was Cedric, but he didn't go for it. No. I couldn't get through it without laughing, so he didn't go for it. No. Yeah.

I couldn't get through it without laughing. So he he found out. That is a giveaway. So is Errol still around? Like, is there a cheekier version of you now that can speak? Should I be like, oh, that's Errol speaking? Or when did Errol die? I think Errol died the same year he was born.

But I feel like now, like maybe if I'm oh, maybe if I'm a little bit tipsy now, maybe Errol will the same year he was born. Really? I feel like now, like, maybe if I'm... Oh, maybe if I'm a little bit tipsy now, maybe Errol will come back. Can we get a grave for Errol somewhere? Can we have, like, an official placement for Errol? Yeah, like, 2002 to 2002, Errol? Yeah, exactly. But, like, in a cemetery.

Can we just buy a space and put an an arrow grave down I bet we could I bet we could Then facelessness can go and pay their respects To arrow graves I think we probably want an isolated part Of the cemetery for that

Jim Morrison's grave You can go leave shit there How much would it cost to bring in a load of dirt to the show floor of RTX and put Tombstone in it? That's great for the museum. That's perfect.

Errol. Was it Errol Free or was it a different last name? It's just Errol. Errol. Now, you've been talking a lot about Errol was cheeky. Can you give us some cheeky Errol examples of when Errol would

come out? Yeah, what's an Errolism? I think if I was just... I can't really remember. I'd probably have to talk to some of my old friends to be like, you remember when Errol would come out? Did Errol have walkout music? Did he have a whole alter ego? Did you think...

Now, would Errol just come out? Would you just say something and that was Errol? Or would you think about it and decide, you know what, Errol's going to make an appearance here. I'm going to say the slightly more cheeky thing. I think I would always talk about him in the past tense, like Errol had happened. Oh, so it's like a cover.

Like, you'd be cheeky and you'd be like, ah, sorry guys, Errol showed up for a minute there. But we all had these characters and we'd all talk about our characters. Wait, wait, you all had characters? Well, yeah, like Frank had Herman. But we would, like, often talk about what they were like. Look, I had a very long walk to school all right i had about a 35 minute trek across town oh it was boring you had to do these things i respect i just love what i could i couldn't have lived further from the school without being like in a bus district i thought this was a youth thing the fact that you had a community of friends all doing the same thing i'm

so glad you all found each other that's such a wonderful four of us i think uh i think it's delight a positively delightful oh man i also had a another character that i would only bring out amongst a certain few people this is probably when i was when i was 20 yeah in the south of france whenever we would i used to go there a lot with the same group of friends and i would always whip out a character called uh stewart the bumbling customer and i would like look at i would look at stuff on the shelves i'd like pick up a shampoo and then accidentally knock down like seven shampoos and it would just crack up these three friends and then i have to go back and like put it all back up because uh i worked in the

supermarket and i couldn't live myself to leave it like that but i would just knock shit over the supermarket and then be like they'll be like oh stewart's back that honestly i shouldn't i talking about all this in a row for like six minutes i'm starting to feel like a real freak so i want to put no i feel like stewart is more normal stewart feels like you're doing a sketch almost like that's a character where errol feels like a strange you're just slightly more sassy i've pulled out stewart around meg before she hates it she's not a fan so uh stewart stewart also has died unfortunately i can't believe i've known you i've known you five years before Stuart was born and I've never seen

Stuart the thing is I forget stuff like I'm I probably forgot it for a decade and then I whipped it out again but yeah in the middle I lived with you and I think Stuart and Errol were both dead at the same time also like you have different you have different shit for different friends right like and that's true oh yeah you probably

you compartmentalize that stuff and you don't realize it. Yeah. I should have whipped out Stuart when we were shopping for the tiniest thing the other day. Eric, can you imagine if Gavin slipped into a character named Stuart that we had never seen or been exposed to before in the grocery?

I would have lost my mind. We just keep asking him questions about the rules, and he knows that he has to answer them but he won't and now i hate i would hate stewart that's terrible i hate it oh boy oh man what a start hey can i ask where do the names come from was errol a name that you were just like fascinated with or like it wasn't i think it's a really i think it's a really funny name okay i think it's great. Errol?

Yeah. It's fun to yell. Like if you're annoyed with somebody. I haven't heard it yelled. Were you aware of the famous British actor Errol Flynn? God, no. Like Robin Hood and all that stuff. No, I didn't know anyone called Errol. Wasn't modeled after him in any way.

That's great. No. Thank you for sharing that. I think Errol Flynn was Australian, wasn't he? He might have been. I don't know. called Errol. Wasn't modeled after him in any way. That's great. No. Thank you for sharing that. I think Errol Flynn was Australian, wasn't he? He might have been. I don't know. It's all the same. What would your, if you had, did you guys go into any characters when you were younger?

Not that had names. Yeah. Oh, you did. Oh, what? What was yours? I used to be. Oh, no. I used to. I used to be... Oh, no. What is this going to be?

I'm so worried. Talk about not thinking about stuff for years and years. Up until I was way too old, whenever I was by myself, I would pretend I was Wolverine. Like, in what way? Like, I I was by myself, I would pretend I was Wolverine. Like, in what way? I would call myself Logan, walk around,

like, always be ready to pop the claws, like, always looking around for, like, ninjas to be attacking me. And I mean, and by too low, I mean, I was probably, I might have been 14 when I stopped. Oh, man. I was hoping this was later. So what would you do

would you like from like seven to like yeah I'd be like man I'd walk around in my neighborhood be like I'm the best at what I do and I would do all this and I would say all that stuff and I'd be like on my way to like if I was gonna go to my friend Mike's house I'd be like on my way to rendezvous with Cyclops or like whatever you know and I would just have all these X-Men fantasies in my head and I was always Wolverine. I had some excuse for why I was taller than Wolverine. Something had happened to me. I don't remember.

Oh, that's great. It was fucking great, yeah. Now, did Mike know he was Cyclops or was this just all internal? No, nobody had any idea. I never shared this. When it would rain, oh my God, dude. All the best Wolverine comics were like him

bending down, popping his claws in the rain he's got like a menacing face on and you know shit's about to get real so anytime it would rain in Alabama I would run outside and run around as Wolverine in the rain I just fucking so I assume this was before the amazing Saturday morning cartoon with the amazing theme tune uh it would have probably been around then uh probably a little bit before maybe a year or two before I think that was like 90 when did that come out like 91 97 something like that 97 i think seven i can't what you said walking around ready to pop the claws and when that situation presented itself jeff what would happen i'd pop the claws okay imagine him walking around with like three

carrots between his fingers i'd pop the claws i'd pop the claws and then i would fucking take out invisible dudes yeah i feel like that's like a wrist snap in my head you do for like the action or like what the pop is yeah almost like shooting yeah that's so great i love that you did that i don't have that i wish i had do you remember when wolverine died do you have a moment for that when you just stopped uh yeah it wasn't wolverine that wolverine he caught a stray bullet oh no he he caught a stray from another thing i was i think i may have told this story on this podcast or maybe on a different one so i'll be brief but like i was in my front yard one day playing gi joe versus transformers as you do uh and like i had built this base out of this dirt pile and gi joe was going in to infiltrate uh the transformers were the bad guys this day so it flipped you know sometimes the transformers were the good guys

sometimes it was gi it just depended on whatever the storyline was and uh and they were infiltrating and they were going to try to blow this base up. And I just wasn't having fun. And I'm like, I'm 14 or 15, I think, at this point. And I just wasn't having fun. And I went inside. And what you do when playing with G.I. Joe gets boring is you go find your firecrackers,

and then you start laying depth charges and fucking C4 and stuff and blowing stuff up and i i was blowing up my gi joe characters and it still wasn't fun and i just remember looking at them and thinking this is never gonna be fun again this is over i just grew up like i was like this is the moment when i realized i'm not a kid anymore and I'll never, I'll never enjoy this again. And it made me so unbearably sad that there was a kid who lived next door to me. I lived in a duplex at the time.

It was a kid who lived next door to me who was about 11 or 12. I couldn't fucking stand him. He was obnoxious. But I, uh, I just took all my GI Joes that day and I put everything in a trash bag and I just walked over and I gave it all to him. And I was just like,

you can have this. I don't, I don't think I'll ever use it trash bag and I just walked over and I gave it all to him and I was just like you can have this I don't I don't think I'll ever use it again and I think Wolverine I don't specifically remember the day that Wolverine's healing powers finally failed and he succumbed to old age or death or whatever but he definitely died that day

I think in my in my heart and that was that was like the day I remember the day I remember I wasn't a child anymore and I was something else. And what was even sadder? Cause the, like what was even sadder in that moment was I realized I, I no longer had joy in the things that I had been enjoying my entire

childhood, but I didn't know what I did. Like, you know, it's like, I don't, I know I don't like all the stuff I used to like now. What do I like going forward?

You know? And I, it was, it took me a little while to figure that out I would have loved if you had a one last claw pop moment if you just had the you're aware you're like this is it this is the last one I mean

maybe maybe maybe like who knows maybe once or twice you know in the woods and when I'm 15 or 17 or whatever you'd have a moment where you'd slip into it and then you'd be like oh what am I doing I'm fucking 17 or whatever but yeah that's great I imagine just all your friends were gone for some reason you're just waiting for a bus on your own and you just popped them yeah yeah probably see if i still could you know see if they still work you're like i don't i don't resort to violence

anymore but it's good to know i can if i have to wow who would have thought andrew was the normal one well no i i mean i didn't have a name i had a similar very similar experience to jeff where i'd play like with plastic swords in like the backyard and pretend i was having fights and whatnot and i distinctly remember being like 10 years old and doing it and having the thing of like i can't buy into this anymore and i just never did it again just like the sadness of like oh man all the joy like you said i did this is this isn't fun anymore i can't buy into this this is sad this is an end of a chapter yeah it it is uh it was a legitimately and i assume it's the same for you andrew it was a legitimately heartbreaking moment for me very heartbreaking which is why i'm 47 and i can still

recall it like it was yesterday yes you know those those become foundational memories yeah absolutely and i wish i i wish I still had that. Like, it's a thing I lost that I wish I still maintained. I'd love to be able to have that much fun just swinging a plastic sword around. Well, you know... You could have done that whenever you wanted to at Achievement Hunter. It was tons of fun.

There's a lot of sword play back then. Eric and Nick, were either of you freaks? No, not. I can't think of anything that I did like that. Like when I was like a kid, we pretended to be the X-Men, but it wasn't like I was walking around waiting to pop the claws. Yeah, you're ready. It was just, you know, playing with friends, being like, we're the X-Men and like yeah fighting fake things like that that was kind of it i would use a pseudonym a lot i would use the name terry modesto jr when i had to fill out

paperwork that i didn't want anything to do with uh that was just my knee jerk go-to but it didn't like i didn't have i wasn't a bit cheeky when it happened i just continued being me where did terry modesto Jr. come from? That's such a specific name. I don't know. It just, it seemed like a, like a real fake name to me. Like, it seems like a fake name, but it just has like one layer where you go, could be a real name.

And that, that to me is where it really worked. I feel like all of our fake names give a good indication of where we all grew up. our fake names give a good indication of where we all grew up i i gotta say gav i think you deserve the most credit i was playing some shit i read in a comic book you invented characters out of sackcloth and ashes just like i think that's probably a lot harder uh i i have a lot of respect for that and same as terry modesto jr of course uh i you guys weren't just like latching on to some ip that was already popular you were creating your own i feel like the next episode is gonna have a great intro that's what i'm saying nick yeah what is nick talking about in the chat i had a weird combined one as a kid what it was a grouping so it was like uh my friends and i were

fans of the power rangers as, but we also liked professional wrestling. So we would kind of combine them. You'd be like, oh, the Red Rangers going off the top ropes kind of thing, you know, like doing goofy shit like that. So it would be like, Jason, Tommy, you know, like goofy stuff like that. But the day that it ended, I remember very well when Tommy and Jason were put to rest, is when we were wrestling on a giant trampoline and I drop kicked my friend off the ledge. He was fine, but

on that day, the magic died. That was the last day of the Wrestle Rangers. Yeah, the Wrestle Rangers ceased to be. Whenever Nick does the voice of himself as a kid, I can't help but picture the little propeller on his head as he's doing it. God damn.

Man, what a funny conversation we stumbled into. That's 20 minutes of shit that definitely wasn't written down anyway. Yeah, I didn't have any of that in mind. I just, I can't. It's going to be a while before I escape the idea of Ivan Ooze getting hit by a steel chair

with like, as a kid. Purple shit flying everywhere. That's great. I love that. Oh, man. What a time. Yeah, I can't believe we're what, like almost 20 minutes into this.

And this is not, you are, as far as I 20 minutes into this, and this is not... You are, as far as I'm concerned, Jeff, the star of this episode. I want to know so much about how your weekend went. We built up the big sports weekend last episode. I haven't asked any questions in our personal life because I'm just so excited to hear it here. I've just seen one clip.

Yeah, we've seen the same thing. Yeah, let's get into that. We'll mix it up with that. Although I don't know how many great stories there are to tell or anything, but I'll recount the weekend. Yeah, I'd love to hear that. Eric can as well. He was a part of most of it.

But I do have some hot info that I need to drop that you guys are not aware of. Eric knows about it, but the rest of you don't. to drop that you guys are not aware of. Eric knows about it, but the rest of you don't. There has been a major, major, major face update

in the last week. An insane thing has happened. I'm terrified. About five days ago, Emily walked in to Millie's bedroom to ask her a question or something. Millie was just sitting at her bed, chomping

on an apple. And Emily said, Hey, where'd you get that apple? We don't have any apples. And Millie said, Yeah, we do. Millie ate my Cosmic Crisp. She had no idea. To her credit, it was just sitting in the fridge by

itself in the back. I had hidden it behind stuff, but she found it. I don't remember the day we put it in, but it's got to be at least three or four months old. She ate the entire thing. Even after I told her, stop, it's not good. She insisted that it was. She said it was the best tasting apple she has ever eaten in her life. And she said it was defined by the fact that one half was very sweet and the other half was very sour. So she felt like she got two apples in one.

Was it like which side was facing the back of the fridge? I assume so. I assume it had to be something like that. Oh, no. But yeah, so I got to... Oh, my God. Reset the clock. We got to reset the clock.

I got to go out and buy a new Apple because, yeah, because Millie ain't our progress. Can I be honest with you about the Apple thing? Yeah. I don't think I did that, right? I just never did. No, you never did. There's a Cos cosmic crisp in my fridge

what what it's i found it the other day like behind a bunch of stuff when did i when did i put that in i you never told us that you did that yeah i don't remember doing it myself we we made fun of the fact that you never tried. I ate my apple after a few weeks. You never did it. When would that have been? And I asked Meg about it. I was like, is this yours? And she's like, no, that's your Cosmic Crisp.

What? How old? When? Wow. I have no idea. Can you tell at all? Does it look old? Yeah, it doesn't look great.

Oh, that's probably a year do you think it wasn't you could it have been Errol coming out in there see if there's a sweet side in a sour oh my god so I now I don't know

how old is I might have to would you be willing to try it or like cut it open and maybe take a bite can we get photos of this because i feel like this is over a year it has to i'm gonna take a photo of it now yeah uh you can't if you want we're doing two we could do it on the second one we want to see all right let's do it next week a little teaser for the next week next episode i can't believe she ate that that's great that gives me confidence because i've had uh some cosmic crisps in my fridge for two weeks now maybe two or three and i had the fun yeah no i kind of had the concern i thought nah they're

fine they're gonna last a while now i've got so much more road to give before i need to worry about those things it's great i'll have to go back and check my photos i think i took a photo the day i put it in to to see the time stamp but it must be three months. That's incredible. Yeah. Wow. What a great app. So kudos to the Cosmic Crisp. It didn't make it a year, but that only because it looked so delicious, apparently. The hemispheres of flavor is very interesting.

I wonder if that's a permanent thing. Yeah. Or a thing across all the Cosmic Crisps of a year. So, XFL. You're going, you went to it. You did the thing. First off, let me just say, it was a crazy sports weekend because the city of Austin hosted two NBA games, one on Thursday,

one on Saturday, and then I did the San Antonio-Brahmas game on Sunday, so it was like, it was a shitload of sports in a very short amount of time, which is awesome for me because I love fucking sports, right? But what I don't like which is awesome for me because I love fucking sports. Right. But what I don't like is leaving my house. So that part of it is hard.

I took Eric to see the Spurs versus the Trailblazers on Thursday night. What did you think about that game, Eric? It was not good until the fourth quarter where it became such a fun basketball game that the crowd was so into we left going austin needs to have a team it ruled so hard and and it had the halftime show that i always make a joke about because I've wanted to see it for years and it was real and it happened it is a small dog who does basketball tricks and it is the best halftime shows are really hit and miss because when Jeff went to the other game it was just a dance crew I don't big miss that the move crew yeah lame Blame. No offense, you're great dancers, but I want

to see a tiny dog do a 360 dunk again, god damn it. The San Antonio Spurs have like a creature as their mascot, and he challenged the small dog to a dunk contest, and then the small dog won. It was so cool. He did a 360 dunk.

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And it's not built for NBA games, but it housed an NBA game beautifully. It would make, it already would be one of the best arenas in the NBA. And the city of Austin deserves an NBA team, god damn it. And I'm going to say that, it's going to get really annoying because I'm going to say that in every piece of content I record

until Austin, Texas gets an NBA team, which will be probably 15 years at the earliest. Anyway, so Saturday, I took a Millie to the next game and it was fine. Minnesota Timberwolves won by like 50 or something. It was ridiculous.

But Sunday, we went to go see the San Antonio Brahmins. It was me, Emily, Eric, and his small wife. We drove down to San Antonio together to the Alamo Dome, which if you're not familiar, it's a big arena in San Antonio where they have, it's like a arena in San Antonio where they have... It's like a cross between an arena and a convention center. Holds 75,000 people. It did not that day,

but it holds up to 75,000 people. And it was the most... I don't even know how to describe it. It was fucking... Oh, before I do that, I must say, celebrity sighting at the NBA game on Saturday, we saw A-Rod. He's a part owner in the Minnesota Timberwolves, and he was there sitting courtside.

So it was cool to see A-Rod at a game. That's awesome. Yeah. Oh, he was next to Tony Parker, who was also in attendance. And Emily dubbed it Cheater's Row where they were sitting, which is pretty funny. If you don't know why, Tony Parker is famous for cheating on Eva Longoria with his teammate's wife, causing that teammate to have to get traded

because Tony Parker was a much better player. And then, of course, A-Rod and drugs. It would suck to get traded because your friend cheated. Yeah, it would suck. It would suck. I may be getting that a little wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's how it shook out. Britt Berry's wife.

There you go. Yeah, of course, Nick knows. pretty sure that's how it shook out. Britt Berry's wife. There you go. Yeah, of course Nick knows. Anyway, the Brahma's game was awesome. They gave us tickets to this place called

The Bullpen, which is essentially an area cordoned off immediately behind the end zone. Yeah, you can see it right there. So we're at player level. Oh, wow. We just hung out there for a half an hour. They had a hot dog maker. behind the end zone yeah you can see it right there so we're at player level oh wow just we just hung out there for a half an hour they had a hot dog maker uh by that i mean like a dude that makes hot dogs and so we had some really good chili dogs and sodas eric had some beers and we

just hung out and chilled out and then here's all the photos of us uh and then you know this guy this awesome dude, Brad, who works in the marketing department, came and grabbed me. Lovely, lovely gentleman. Shout out to Brad. And he took me around to the tunnel and he said, okay, what's going to happen is, and he introduced me to the flag,

these three dudes that are flag carriers. And he was like, you're just going to follow these guys out, run with them, run where they go, and then I'll collect you at the end. And I go, got it. And then he moved on. And then some lady came up and she goes, all right, do you know what you're going to do?

And I said, absolutely. I'm going to run with these three flag guys. I'm going to follow behind them and stay out of their way and just go where they go. And she goes, not at all. You're going to run with the coach who, if you are an NFL fan, you might have heard of, Heinz fucking Ward.

So I got to run next to Heinz Ward onto the field. I waved my hat. They said my name. I was so fucking out of it, pumped up and excited and nervous. I didn't even hear them say my name. And then I ran around with Heinz Ward until he walked off the field. I didn't speak to him at all. He looked like he was very focused.

He was thinking about plays and shit. But it was an honor to get to be in the same hallway with him. I stood next to all the players. They're all at least a foot taller than me. And I'm six feet tall. That was wild. They're huge. And then that was it.

And then we just went back and watched the game. And oh, I will say Brad told me it was very sweet of me. He said, hey, man, I want to let you know. I tried really hard to get them to introduce you as Jeff from face, but they won't do it but i appreciated he that he even attempted it um i watched the clip that emily sent me i must have watched it six times but you gave it your all you acted like that was your full-time job was to be running out with those guys. You did not hang around. I've never seen you move like that. You just, it looked like you wanted to do a really good job of running out.

I don't fuck around. Well, let me tell you what happened. I had it in my head. I'm running out with this, with Heinz Ward, ex NFL player, right? But he's fucking old. And the kids in front of me, the flag dudes, they weren't like athletes or anything. And they have these big ass heavy flags and I thought I'll just jog out

with them they said go those dudes took off like they were running the 440 in the NFL combine and I look over and Hines Ward doesn't give a fuck about me he is booking it and I had to kick it into another gear to keep up with them I was like

what the fuck am I being timed like it was they were, what the fuck? I didn't. Am I being timed? Like it was they were hauling ass. And then I realized they don't fuck around in professional sports. This was no leisurely lap. They were business. So, yeah, I had to give it my all.

Did it not make it on TV? No, I don't think so. I never did not do. Yeah, it was sad. Unfortunately, they should have showed that instead. They should. Heinz Ward in the middle of the field talking about losing with the other coach. We're not doing good.

How do you handle that? Do you have hot dogs? You ate hot dogs before you ran, Jeff, because that's more press. I had two chili dogs. You had two. That was you on two chili dogs. That was me on two chili dogs and a little pecan sandy dessert thing. Yeah, yeah. That is it. That was me on two chili dogs and a little pecan sandy dessert thing. Yeah.

That is it. I love that you wore the baseball jersey as your attire. I think that's very funny. I wanted to rep face without putting them in any kind of a weird position. You know? And so I thought the face baseball jersey was a it doesn't say face on it in a visible way. It just says FF. I thought that was funny.

And then also what's funnier? What's more F***face than wearing a baseball jersey to a football game? Yeah, it's perfect. It's the right attire. Even though I own Brahma's clothes I could have worn. We should have collab merch. Oh, we should collab with the

SpaceX Brahma's. Wow. I hadn't even thought about that. We should make it specifically for the people who are on this podcast and occasionally run out. Honestly, Don Zimmer with some horns is what I want. Oh man, imagine if he had horns when he ran at Pedro. He would have been ready

if there was a crossover. He had the Brahmas. He would have won. It was cool a crossover he had the brahmas yeah he was great he would have won it was it was cool to see I was like really thrilled it was so cool to be in the bullpen Jeff got kind of whisked away and then we were standing there going like oh my god he's gonna do it he's gonna do it and he did it and it was like so awesome to see that happen right in front of us uh and then when Jeff came back they were in the middle of the national anthem and Jeff turned the corner and heard that the national anthem was playing.

And I watched the army kick in like within him, he stood. I've never seen Jeff stand up more straight and tall and like hand over the heart. It was immediate. And then it ended and he walked back over and he's like, Hey, what's up? It was so man, that was beat into you that was crazy what am i supposed to do at

american sports games as a brit am i supposed to stand for that or is that treason no it's not treason you don't have to put your hand over your heart uh because that's like a pledge but you can just stand respectfully that's what i would yeah i think that's what i did i was i just stood there without my hand. Yeah. You know, as an ex-soldier, you know, it's kind of sad. In the olden days when I was in the military and I was in uniform, I had to salute the flag.

Anytime I was within, I think, six feet of it, I had to salute it if it was moving. So, like, if the flag bearers were, like, walking through a parking lot and I was within, like, six feet of it, I'd have to stop and salute and maybe 10 could you just take a wide berth no i was uh no no i wasn't trying to avoid so okay uh i was actually you know for all the all the silliness and nonsense aside i'm a fairly patriotic i was pretty proud of my five years in the united states army uh feel pretty good about that. And I love America.

It's got some issues. So I actually kind of felt like it was an honor to be able to salute the flag. And when I got out of the military, I lost that right. Yeah. I don't wear a uniform anymore. I'm not allowed to salute out of uniform. And so I can only put my hand over my heart. And it always makes

me a little sad that I can't salute the flag anymore. I mean, I guess I could, I guess I fucking could, but it would be against like mill UCMJ protocol, which just doesn't matter, but it's just like, it is what it is. You're not allowed to say you're not supposed to, you're not supposed to, you're not supposed to salute out of uniform. Yeah. Or at least you weren't supposed to back when I was in the army, things could change, but I doubt it. I think I've heard that. I've never heard that. That's crazy. Yeah, so I no longer do it. And it was just a bummer

because I had one of the, not to brag, but I'm going to, I had one of the best salutes in the entire army, I think. I was so fucking, I used to practice. Yeah?

The entire time I was in the army, I would practice my salutes. It'd be Wolverine claws one hand, salute the other hand. Just like I have, have you know because i'm around tons of dudes i uh i have a perfect perfectly straight salute arm from tip of my finger to my elbow it's it's a perfect wedge you can't beat it it's most people a lot of people can't get their hand and their arm and their wrist as straight as i can and so i always felt like i was like a bit of a super i was a bit of a super,

a bit of a superstar when it came to saluting. So yeah. Super saluter. Did we ever put out the video of you and Dan having a salute off? Cause Dan salutes. I don't think we should. Dan in the British RV has like a different salute. I think the hand is like backwards.

Yeah. It's looks. Yeah. I think, well, listen, I think it probably came out as a, as a happy hour or something years and years I wouldn't I wouldn't go back and look at it it probably doesn't hold up okay maybe a little

offensive in 2023 who knows well we were all drinking back then it was all we're all friends yeah so anyway it was awesome the Brahmas were awesome Unfortunately, they succumbed to Houston in overtime, but it was also an overtime game. It was only the second overtime game this year. It was fucking cool. It was a crazy ending. Phenomenal. I saw the last quarter.

So kind of the Brahmins to reach out to us and to do that and offer us that opportunity. It was really, really, really, really, really cool. I really appreciate it. It was great. The content that came out of it, think was really funny who filmed the instagram video because they did an amazing job it was perfect camera work probably emily well emily did fantastic just the way it was staged of like the screen and then seeing you run by and then

the ending is so perfect of eric turning around cheering being so genuinely happy about what's happening it was great it's a great video I'm so glad she did too because it was all such a blur to me I didn't really experience it it was like over before it started you know what I mean it would have been funny to see you with a GoPro behind Heinz Ward chasing

maybe we should put it up on YouTube or something I don't know did we put it we did we put it on social media though it's on Instagram yeah people want to see it okay it might be other places I don't know I tried to post a or something. I don't know. Did we put it? We put it on social media, though. It's on Instagram. Yeah. People want to see it. Okay. It might be other places.

I don't know. I tried to post a GIF, but I don't think it worked. Yeah. What about, well, the Nitro? Do we want to get Nitro? Has that happened yet? Has that shifted? It has.

Oh, there's the GIF. It's the salute. What am I looking at here? This is a salute that I think is better than Jeff's. It's the Arnold R salute oh it doesn't it's not the whole thing it's some of it but uh maybe the maybe the best salute on television from Red Dwarf that's a pretty good salute I can't I don't know that I can compete with that that's a tough I like that you practiced I appreciate it you put an effort in how often would you say you practice doing that? How much time do you think you invested into having the perfect salute?

Not often. Not much. Not often. Yeah, maybe when you're getting ready in the morning in the mirror, you're like, do I still got it? Yeah. It's like maybe throw a couple,

three or four extra salutes a day in front of the mirror just to, just to make sure you're, you're on point as they say. I have a question for Gavin unrelated to all of this. I feel like you've already covered this, but it's strange. I haven't in my notes. You said at the end of the last episode, I revealed my icing, uh, bag thing as a thing that I didn't realize was weird until I stepped away from it. You said you'd have one this week. Do you have one,

Kat? So what was the task again to find out something that's weird? The task was something that you do that's part of your routine that's weird, but you don't really realize it's weird until you take a step back and you realize. I almost throw up every time I brush my teeth.

I gag maybe four to five times every morning over the sink. And I'm just, sometimes, if I get a bad day, sometimes like the second my tongue touches the toothbrush, I'm like, and I just have the most, the loudest screaming into the sink in an echoey bathroom. I don't know how Meg puts up with it.

I'll just be like. Emily does the same fucking thing. Like I have to leave the room when she's brushing her teeth because it's gross to listen to. Because she gags. I've seen her. I haven't seen. I've heard her throw up from brushing her teeth. I've thrown up.

I throw up maybe once every three months from brushing my teeth but it's not like a full boat yeah it's just like i'll just go like and like a half a cup of liquid will fly out and it's awful and and i talked about this on the on probably in a let's play years ago and it doesn't happen to me anymore because i live in austin but when i used to live in england the second i would leave the house on a cold morning, I would gag. Something about the cold air. Like, coming from a warm house, I would just open the door, the cold air would hit me in the face, and in the middle of

just like, imagine it like a suburbia movie. I'm just like opening my door and closing it behind me, and then going and then walking to school. What an eventful walk to school for you. This is the walking to school. What an eventful walk to school for you. This is the walking to school episode. Maybe that was the transitional moment between me and Errol.

Yes, I love that you didn't put any of that on a character. That's just you. You're owning that. That's just me becoming Errol. That's like your body fighting as Errol takes over temperature change brushing your teeth is there anything else that just randomly causes get like obviously you have you have other triggers but I mean like that way that's not sometimes sometimes if the AC has been blasting

and I get out of like a hot bath or shower I'll get hit with the same coldness and I'll gag as well. Usually as I'm reaching for my towel, I'll just gag again. Do you ever gag when you're blowing Dan? What? What now? When you're giving blowjobs to Dan,

do you ever gag? Your silence tells me the answer is yes. I'm stunned. It would be a great time for Errol to show up and a little witty zinger back at him. All right, well, that was a yes for Gavin. What's next? A yes or a no and like a wondering why. Why in that environment?

So temperature? Temperature causes you to gag? Yeah, I think so. Not sure why, but I think that's something that is pretty regular for me and is pretty abnormal, but I'm just used to it. I have friends, i have like two friends that when they step outside from inside and it's sunny out they'll sneeze is it like that do you do you step outside and gag yeah i mean if it's cold yeah definitely do you ever gag from cold

food like a like a popsicle no what if you have like minty gum that's like really fresh? No, it doesn't do it. Maybe if I inhaled, if I put a popsicle in a mug or a thermos and I just sucked it, maybe if I just opened it and huffed it. Because you saw Eric on New Year's Eve. I couldn't even be around my cold drink that day, i think that was the the bubbles from the the ginger beer so sudden temperature change can cause this like going from a hot to cold or cold to hot is it both ways or is it just one way it's just hot to cold hot to cold huh i wonder if we could

trigger this in some way have you ever tried to go cold to hot uh well yeah every time i leave the house here yeah it okay there was something you're gonna do in the next episode what was it you're gonna get something for the apple oh right okay so you're gonna try the apple can you also get a mug and fill it with ice and see if we can trigger your gang for the next episode also, and we're just doing experiments on you? Is that? Yeah. Okay. I'm just imagining him being like,

strapping 20 ice packs to him in a porta potty, and then having him step out into the sun after like three minutes, if he just starts ganging. I feel like it's easier to go from being cold to hot, than hot to cold. Like simulating that. Maybe before we do the stromming or whatever, we just fill that thing with ice. And I'll just walk in there and you can see if you hear the gags.

Mmm. You just want, like, raw ice? I love the idea of filling the toilet with ice. It's just ice cubes coming out. Would it make it cold in there? Probably would. It would reduce temperature. I'd certainly assume.

I don't know if it would be cold enough. I don't know what the temperature range is required for you to gag. What the minimum shift is. I would say fill it with dry ice, but I think I would die. Yeah, no, that would not work. Yeah, it would be like you sitting in your office when the cats breathe all over you. It'd be a smaller space. It'd be like 20 cats in a port point.

God, this is a real freak show. This is weird. And we have one more. This might be weirder than all the foot shit you were trying to put on me. Oh, man. Who's trying? I think we gotta try.

We gotta try it. When is the fish thing supposed to arrive? It should be here in like the next couple weeks. It has to ship from the UK. And genuinely, I don't know how UK shipping goes right now with like COVID stuff. So I'm just waiting. That's fair. Are we going to do smelling salts as well?

Should we have like a range of things for him to try man we're really gonna beat the shit out of jeff huh um yeah well i feel like some smelling salts i feel like are i don't know if that would be worse or better than realistically it's like back in high i'm in high school all over again just people this shit out of me all day long like say we say you're in there and we crack the can and we throw it in there with you how long realistically do you think you're going to be're in there and we crack the can and we throw it in there with you how long realistically do you think you're going to be stood in there i mean if my if my flaps work the way i think they do i could stay in there indefinitely i'm gonna find out is there a

guinness world record for the longest can we get guinness involved uh i mean we could right but it's just that's the whole thing you have to pay them they have to fly out yeah i don't think they're gonna give a fuck, but yeah, I can try. Why do they give a shit about anything else? Because they're getting paid. We pay for it. It's expensive.

We looked into this a few years ago. I wanted to do a show where we break Guinness records, like dumb Guinness records that are easy to break, and it's like 10 grand to get one of those Guinness. What? Yeah. At least it was back then. That's that's pre COVID.

I feel like it would be more now. Yeah, it might be more. Yeah. Wow. We could see. Huh? Yeah.

I mean, it's worth exploring. I want to, I want to send you guys a photo. Somebody sent this into the face Instagram and I want to see, see if you guys notice anything funny about this photo. Okay. So Jeff is, it's a photo Jeff is it's a photo of it's a photo of sloppy Joe's you can finally see what the

camera looks like oh so that's what the audience sees well like when they're walking on the street and they see a sloppy Joe's camera and they react to it that's what they're looking at and I was like oh cool it's cool to finally see it and then I noticed something that made me laugh for about an hour straight and I want to see if you guys notice it.

Okay. There's a mic above it. That's what it is. That's the fucking audio mic from the camera. They just have an XLR hooked up to a fucking, like a band mic, and it's hanging from a pole in the roof, which is why sometimes when it's making a

thump, thump, thump, thump noise, I realize it's just windy, and the mic is just hitting against the wall back and forth. Look at that fucking setup. That's almost more professional than I'd expect. I mean, it's a professional mic, right?

I mean, it's the same mic the bands are using inside, I guess. Wouldn't you want more of a shotgun, though, for it to be pointed in front of the camera? Yeah, there's a lot that you could want more of. I don't think they give a fuck. I think they went, we pointed at the camera. You got it.

Everything I learned about Sloppy Joe's is more fascinating than the last thing I learned. The fact that that is their setup is fantastic to me. Crazy. That's all. Do you have any interest in actually going to Sloppy Joe's at this point? I apologize if we talked about this, but you've become so invested in the exterior. Do you care at all about going to the physical place?

Yeah, I would like to. I would like to bring a little launcher and sit under the camera and just fucking experience it firsthand. I'm sure at some point i will go we will go check it out maybe if you're saying their setup isn't the most ideal you could initiate some sort of trade with the sloppy joes people could be great for the museum maybe a future item i don't imagine this will fit before this upcoming RTX. But the idea of having the sloppy Joe's mic is such a weird collectible. It is. That is interesting. Like maybe if they upgrade, I could.

Oh, yeah, that's great. That's a good idea. It would be good for the museum. Speaking of the museum, I think it's been announced, but we're doing a face museum of oddities and things that are things at RTX. And so if you go to RTX in Austin this year, which is, I don't know, sometime in July, I think, Eric, you probably have dates.

July 7th through 9th. Tickets available at rtxaustin.com. You can go check out the actual F*** Face Museum, our first version of it. You know, I talked about this about a year ago about wanting to take it on the road and do Ripken's Believe It, because why not? And it's essentially going to be the first version of that.

Oh, Ripken, that's funny. Like Ripley, Ripken. Yeah, yeah, I got it. No, I got it as soon as I said I'm an idiot, but that's very funny. It's also, we mentioned that like a year ago. Yeah. Well, now we're doing it.

Yeah, no, I mean, just for Andrew getting the joke. Yeah, no, I forgot it. I forgot the joke. Then I thought Jeff Flubb. Then as I was correcting him, I realized I'm an idiot. Andrew to get in the joke. Yeah, no, I forgot it. I forgot the joke. Then I thought Jeff flubbed. Then as I was correcting him, I realized I'm an idiot. That's a really funny joke. And there's no way. The plane was, I couldn't reverse it.

We're locked in. I just had to crash. So we'll be doing that. We'll have a lot of weird stuff. You can see like the baseball bat where Jeff signed all the baseballs with it. And maybe owl, owl and puss, pussuss like there's a lot happening and and face rock yeah yes and face rock thing that must be seen to be believed you can see it come see you you know what yep it is you know exactly what it is so come see it ultimate thing can i can i pitch a completely

impractical idea that uh would be in my head funny for rtx but it almost certainly won't happen oh please do it's not it's not too late in the game at all no this is timely it would be great if we had a giant canvas because you have jeff's bat that like he did all the autographs with right if we had a giant canvas that people could dip the bat into paint and then swing and paint a canvas of of the swings the bat swings because a lot of paint flies off that bat could do essentially other people's attempts at jeff's signature on this giant canvas two stations one green one purple yeah even better look at that there you go uh an idea that you will not see at rtx will these latex interior house paint yeah let me let me go talk to the convention center yeah so we want people to swing bats but it's not to hit anything it's just so paint flies everywhere

you guys are cool with that right well you can do like a dexter kill room and they step into it. They swing a bat with paint Easy Dexter kill room great man You might have to see Errol Wait what does that mean is it just a photo of well... You just opened up a whole set of questions. Are there photos of Errol that aren't you? No, the mud and the tombstone. Okay, I see.

I was thinking that you taking it like you might physically be a little bit different in some way in these characters. You walk with a slightly different gait. You like have a toothpick. He's just got a little bit of a smirk. Yeah. You know, he's about, you know, he's up to,

he's about to be cheeky. Oh yeah. Then I walk over to the, uh, RT store booth. I gag and I start knocking all the shit off the shelves. It's cold over here. There's a,

there's a pretty good chance you might even get to see my PS5 footstool that I use when I'm recording there's all kinds of stuff oh by the time this is out all of does it do will have come out yeah if you haven't seen them you can see seven total episodes oh and the hall of do will probably be

in the museum as well we do have some new merch coming out i know we need to wrap up but i want to let people know that we have some new stuff coming out we will have a uh protected by falcon sign and and we will also have a i we've never done it before a face vinyl an episode i'm so excited on vinyl uh i think we're looking at that coming out gosh i think like early june late may something like that so follow us at face pod on instagram on twitter and we'll keep you updated on those things uh there's a lot going on and by vinyl he means vinyl record yes it is a vinyl record it is the

whole episode pressed i've heard it i've listened to the whole thing it is the episode and it is on vinyl you listen to it on the vinyl am i what like you listen to the actual record or you listen to the file no no i have the vinyl record at my house i had to listen to it to proof it yeah i'll even i'll even say this uh that vinyl record that eric has has made an appearance in a few pieces of content in the back as an easter easter egg and nobody's noticed it nope but it's been on camera a few times it's in the background of a couple social things for uh a couple different things around so it's it's really awesome i can't believe we made it it's real and it's crazy it took about two years to make but we did it it. And by we, Nick.

Nick did most of the work. Nick and Ecom. Oh, we'll also have Gerplers. We'll also have Gerplers soon. Great. So there'll be some stuff, blind boxy kind of stuff going on. So you can,

we'll have an update on that stuff soon at F*** Face Pod on Instagram and on Twitter. You can stay up to date with everything. But we do need to wrap this one up. I'm very sorry. We're just on a little bit of a time crunch. Will there be any golden GURPS RTX? Man, that's a good question.

Let me see what I can... What if one was inserted into the store? Gavin, they're so limited. I don't know. They're so limited. We can try. They're so limited. Let me see what i can do

let me see what i can get and then we'll we'll are they they're selling before the event they are that is correct it would be cool if you get a golden gurp and you're going to rtx there should be a thing where if you you could like show that you had it and that gets you something i don't know i'll tell you what i'll tell you what if you show me your golden Gerbler at RTX on the floor, I will walk you over to the store and give you free merchandise. Wow. How about that? And you'll pull out the claws one more time.

Maybe I'll pull a little snicked snicked. You never know. All right. There you go. That's an episode of F*** Face in the can. 151. We did it. Thanks to Pat Gavindale.

Thanks to Raymond Sommare. Thanks to Jeffrey Paul Wright and the other two. We'll see you next week. Don't forget to like and review and rate and subscribe and tell everybody that you've ever met to listen to the F*** Face podcast because if you don't, well, we don't want to find out what happens.

What? I'm going to go blow, Dan. Don't gag. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. That dog is long. Jeff is frosting. The F*** Face Waffle Maker is awesome. Lots of supplemental dog is long. Jeff is frosting. The face waffle maker is awesome.

Lots of supplemental content is incoming. How far would you sink in pancake sand? How long is your back? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of face. We'll see you next time.