F**kface - A Bog Standard Skwinkle // Secrecy to a Hole [37]

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about RIP David Lynch, movies in focus, Skwinkle Chunks, grapes like peas, fruit turducken, GTA, Protected by Falcons again, three milk cakes, Eric vs Tequila, Geoff vs tummy rumbles, Hot Dog Olympics, sunglasses in the ocean, alien sports bar, Gavin's football text, sports improvements, Movie Year Draft & Ranking, Chad, accumulating bars, what is hibernation, alcohol rodents, seasonal belly button, and clones. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Air Transat presents two friends traveling in Europe for the first time and feeling some pretty big emotions. This coffee is so good! How do they make it so rich and tasty? Those paintings we saw today weren't prints. They were the actual paintings. I have never seen tomatoes like this. How are they so red? With flight deals starting at just $589, it's time for you to see what Europe has to offer. Don't worry, you can handle it. Visit airtransat.com for details, conditions apply Europe has to offer. Don't worry. You can handle it Visit air trends at calm for details conditions apply air trends at travel moves us Hello and welcome to another episode of the regulation podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey This is episode 37 with me as always

Andrew Panton Eric Badour Gavin free and Nick Schwartz as I was typing that, I looked down at my phone. I had a text from Bernie Burns. Would anyone like to guess what that text was? Let me ask you a question. How often do you get a text from Bernie Burns and it's positive? I was going to say the last time I got a text from Bernie, it was probably the day he learned Rooster Teeth was dying, but I did not know yet. So I I guess it's it's bad news.

And I was going to commiserate with you after this. Yeah, I wasn't going to bring it up. I was I saw it as soon as we ended our last recording. I did not text you. I didn't want to be the one to do it. Literally just found out about it as I was saying, saying the intro. Yeah. Do you want to stop down or what's up? No, no, I'll be fine. What? Sorry, we're talking around it to the intro. Yeah, do you wanna stop down or what's up? No, no, I'll be fine.

Sorry, we're talking around it to the audience, but Bernie just let me know that one of my three or four heroes of my life, David Lynch, just died. Creative genius. That's a weird, I was weirdly struck by emotion there for a second, but yeah, that's incredibly sad. David Lynch, one of the most brilliant auteurs in the history of our country and has provided me with a lifetime of entertainment.

And he also smoked every day of his life and developed emphysema so badly that he had to stop directing doing the thing that he truly loved in life because he his health was so poor from the fucking emphysema, so Don't smoke like David Lynch. I don't know why he died, but I'm gonna guess it was emphysema related He died at 78 which is far too young. He should be directing movies into his 90s like fucking Clint Eastwood But he's not so don't smoke Clint Eastwood still He doesn't even care if the film is in focus, which is what I appreciate about current day Clint Eastwood. Yeah, you'll watch a Clint Eastwood movie and it'll just be out of focus for a frame.

And it's like, he doesn't give a fuck. He's a 90. Oh, I don't think the director has much say over whether it's in focus or not. I feel like he's behind the lens. He's going... I don't think people like block out a scene and then at the last minute say, oh, by the way, in focus action. I don't think there's anything that Clint does on that set that like I think he's in control of it all. I don't think there's anything that happens. He doesn't know about. I think someone says, oh, we're kind of out of focus. And he goes, who gives a fuck?

And then they move to the next. Someone knows somebody would know and somebody report to Clint. We have all kinds of stuff to talk about, not the least of which is last weekend. And I'd like to zag really fast to take my mind off of David Lynch for a second, if you don't mind. Of course. I was at the airport a day ago or so and I discovered a candy that is the funniest candy name I've ever heard in my entire life. And it's too silly to be sat around so I didn't buy it And now I kind of wish I had maybe we could try to get some this is when we were leaving can-cune

I put it in the discord. I noticed squinkles chunks Chunks what are squinkles we couldn't stop saying it you had a bag of Squinkles chunks in your hand that you didn't pull the trigger. I didn't pull the trigger. I said go back and buy squinkles chunks. He wouldn't do it. He did not buy squinkles chunks. Why? Because I was I was in the throes of listen,

I was deep into the diarrhea at that point and I was just trying to. I had I was heavily distracted. I was heavily distracted. I am alarmed by the grape colors are those grapes What are those like the coloring of the fruit is alarming on the package you got grapes for that is that grape? Are those cherries? What are they the artist rendition above the K and squinkles makes it look like long combos? But they'd look nothing like combos, but they look nothing

like combos in the bag. I'm always that little diagram like a bean. There's like three beans in a pod of some sort. That's what I'm saying was the cherry or grapes. Well, I assume it's like tamarind or something, right? Probably. Sorry, wait, which cherries and grapes are together in a bean case? I thought that I couldn't tell the casing.

I thought maybe, you know, when you grab a thing of grapes and they're on the stem and they're like next to each other, like it's just we couldn't see any of the like, I tell you something though, if a grape grew in like a five pack, I would love that. Yeah. That'd be delicious. They wait, but they grow in like a 30 pack. You could just get a bundle that's six times better. No, no, he wants in a row, I think. Yeah, like if they were like that picture where they were like, there was like a big skin and then there were like three grapes inside.

You want grapes like peas? I think it'd be good. Has anybody ever eaten grapes and cherries at the same time? You might be on to something there. What if you cut a grape in half and a cherry in half and then you stuck that together? She made that a chape. Yeah, I would love to try making a chair a Gary flavored chape so What's bigger a cherry or grape?

You can get them in the same size. I think one could be bigger than the other I think we should turducken this I think it should be like a cherry in a grape and then a cranberry inside of that Cherry grape or duck in it. I'm trying to think like other berries that you can progressively Jeff I don't want to uh I don't want to alarm you did another one of my heroes die Did another one of my heroes just die no okay? H-e-b sells squinkles chunks hell. Yeah. Oh my god. Can we can we like instacart some? Jeff instacart some squinkles chunks. All right. All right. Hold on.

Let me get that. What was the cranberry? Let me get the other thing. Cranberry grape cherry. Yeah, it's turducken. Turducken. I squink. So H.E.B. has squinkles chunks. Yeah, I guess some cran shapes as well. Good. My H.E.B.

Do I have to do his favor? Well, he does that. Can I can I pivot really quickly? Just very brief. Yeah. My H.E.B. Do I have to do his favor? Well, he does that. Can I can I pivot really quickly? Just a very brief. Yeah. Lone in Lone in was the wrong word. Lone is because I'm looking at what's on my screen.

What the fuck? And I know we've been talking about a lot. I hope you weren't annoyed by it. What is overtime rumble in GTA five? How what what is this? How have we not done this? Is that the like land on the platform

with the scores? Look at this. I don't know what it is. Look at this. Look how fucking cool that looks. Yeah, we made like 150 videos in that. I think I didn't know that. Are you playing GTA right now, Andrew? No, I was just loaned as to seeing what the update was. You said you wanted me to play.

You said this is loading because you are loading GTA. No, now I'm entering online. It doesn't say loading. It says entering you Are gonna do this anymore? Yeah, I'm closing. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Listen. I have a problem. I'm an addiction I can't stop. I'm sorry not available for online order Delivery of course how however okay, so do they have squink lote? Squinky I think I'll take a be right after this and I'll get some I'll squink up Who's that cool duck?

Hold on squink up. Let me write that down. So they've got squink lotte and squinkles chunks Is there like an original squink like just like a normal squinkle? I don't know. Yeah, what's if what's just a bog standard squinkle? Bogs bog standard squinkle also Andrew overtime rumble is amazing it looks so much fun It is all the best of Of that game where you what was the monkey ball? It's kind of like monkey ball. Okay. Oh awesome. I love monkey ball Squink load I'm looking into this I'm gonna get myself some squink load maybe Next episode we try some on the show if we can all get it in time. I think that's a great idea.

And I thank you guys for allowing me to zag for a second. That is squink squinkles chunks has completely lifted my spirits. What the fuck have you? It's orange. There's an orange squink. Lote, we got to sync up on what squink Lote we're getting. We got to squink up. So we should stop syncing up. We got to squink up. We should stop sinking up. We should only squink up from here on out.

Oh, we need to huddle up is what we need to do. Brother, it's getting weirder. What I'm looking up, what original squinkles are. I can't. What is happening? Gavin, what does that say? Sal. Sal. Get there, come on. Sarsaparilla. Salsa Getty, you idiot. happening. Gavin, what does that say? Squinkles, sals... You got there. Get there, come on.

Squinkles, sarsaparilla? Salsa getty, you idiot! Sprinkle salsa getty. Sprinkles! It's fucking candy spaghetti. This is what... Squinkles has opened our minds. Should we do the squink gauntlet?

Yeah, definitely. Also, the squinkle duck looks cool as you're trying to learn about this. However, Squinkles Rianos. Yes, it was Rianos is not looking. That looks awful. Seized. Yeah, dusty. I would I would eat it like crazy, though. I just got to say, I am excited for next episode when we have

Squinkfest 2025. Yo, what's up, Squinkles? If you want to sponsor this podcast, please let us know. We would squink like crazy, dude. Hey, we would squink all over the place. And then that goes for the audience, too. Hey, we're announcing now next episode is going to be Squinkfest 2025. If you want to squink along with us, check out your local

grocery store, see if see if you can squink out. Yeah, it's going to be squinktastic. You can squink out, dude. Squinkles is crazy. Man, I'm so glad I took that photo. Luke, you never know. You never fucking know. Yeah. Squinkles. Why can't I find out more info on this goddamn duck? Well, it never know. You never fucking know. Yeah. Squinkles.

Why can't I find out more info on this goddamn duck? Well, it's probably I would assume it's in Spanish if you find anything about it. Right. I'm just trying to find a website or anything. I want work like I'm fine with it being in the wrong language. I expect that we did better in the wrong language than in our language. Andrews referencing a video we recorded earlier. I was the I just mean in general, I can handle that. I can I trust that I can decipher the words eventually.

I just need the words. The problem is the lack of the words you can. You can contact them. They have an email address if you want to contact them for help. I yes, I would love to. OK, here is who you're talking to. want to contact them for help. Yes, I would love to. Okay, here. You know who you're talking to. Drop that in there for you.

This fucking duck is so cool. There's a contact at the bottom of that page if you want to go ahead and contact Squinkles. What's Lucas is the name of the company, which is like where all the Mexican candy comes from. Like that's all we ate when we were kids. Not Squinkles, but like like Lucas, Lucas Mexican candy. Yeah. That's awesome.

Should we dive into what some of us did last weekend? Yeah. I would love to know. Yeah, me too. Okay, well, on Thursday, Eric and Gavin and I, and then our, all of our wives Went to Cancun to the exact same all-inclusive Hotel resort where we met the Falcon and I discovered the stars Happy to report the Falcon was there again

Unhappy to report there were zero stars the entire trip. Oh, I sort of know what stars is oh, they don't they don't have them anymore Stars are fucking stars fell out of that sky unfortunately Yeah, so we went for like a similar kind of thing to two years ago like a little four-day weekend beach getaway Where we were just gonna lay around and do nothing At all the entire time And I think we kind of accomplished that what Gavin is has posted there, or Eric who ever posted that, is a photo of the Falcon shitting.

I did not know that's how a Falcon takes a shit. I didn't realize it has to get its wings up. Does it shit on the back of its wings if it doesn't do that? It turns into a triangle when it shits. It turns into like midair Angry Birds. I feel like when you're shitting, you're pretty vulnerable. And the Falcon is letting everybody know, I'm still ready to attack you. I feel like when you're shitting, you're pretty vulnerable and the Falcon is letting everybody know I'm still ready to attack you. I'll still kill you.

We spent a lot of time with that Falcon and near that Falcon and we took a bunch of photos with it. They were hoping we can turn into a shirt similar to the Sloppy Joe shirt that we sold when we were a f***ing face. Does anybody have any photos of the Falcon? Of us with the Falcon? It might be me. Yeah, no, I have to. Your lovely wife sent them and they're very good. They look great, but they refused to save to my phone. So when I had to go scroll through to download them again, I just saw Gavin taking a picture

of the back of my head, which, uh, yeah, not necessarily what I was looking for. We got breakfast at the same time. So, uh, you decided to take a picture of the back of my head, which, you know, again, not super thrilled about, but thank you very much. Yeah, I was, uh, I had to angle it right. Cause I didn't want to take a picture of your small wife. I just didn't want to wait her out. So I blocked her with you. I can't find these photos now. Did you? I also am having trouble finding

these photos. I think she deleted the photos. She doesn't want us to have them. No, no, no, no. It can't. I hear it. Here's one right here. Oh, save shared photo. It's a shared photo.

So that's a bit stupid. Here's a couple. Let me discord these bad boys feel free to vamp while I'm doing this Four of you, so I figured one of you I'm looking at have you have you heard of cranky cranky candy? Oh This looks even better here. We go. They got the coolest logos from Mexican candy. I'm a big fan of this. So there's us with the Falcon and the Falcon lady. We figured we could Photoshop Nick and Andrew's head on top of her maybe. Oh, I love it. Yeah, there's a great one with the Falcon.

And then we got one of the Falcon mid flight, which is pretty cool. He scared me. Eric is Eric is a alarm. Oh, man. He got he really got there's something in like my monkey brain that went like get away from this thing that's about to get. He was trying to get me. It's facing me. Look at how big like zoom in. Look at how big its toenails claws. Look at how big its claws are. Talons talons.

Thank you. Listen, I got popcorn seeds. I get it. Is the talent the claw or is it the whole foot grabby? Oh, foot grabby. Like is it just the the feet? Or is it? I think it's all the feet. Yeah, I think it's all of it. It's like a collective. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to it when it started getting big, it got very big, which is very scary, but very cool that they let us take pictures near the Falcon. On the first day, on the first day I was there, I asked if I could take a picture with the Falcon

and the guy said, yeah, you can't hold it. And I went, yeah, no, I'm not trying to, I just want to take a picture near it, man. We absolutely were trying to hold it. Yeah, and then that set us in that direction. The other thing, I thought the Falcon was great The other thing that Gavin learned was about Trace leches cakes, which means three milks and then Gavin how many milks is this?

six milks There's six notes. Everything was translated into English including trace leches cakes Which is just called three milk cake. Very strange to see on a menu. We were in a dessert at one of the restaurants. The guy goes, the fuck is three milk cake? And I was like, think about it for a second. And he's like, well, I like think about it. He's like, what?

And tres leches idiot. He goes, I saw Gavin realize his own stupidity in the moment, and it was kind of depressing. Is it really? You can tell he felt really dumb. I'd never done the translation before I've also never had his foul. It's disgusting. I don't like it. Well Nick likes everything Well, I don't think I've ever had it looks fucking gross to begin with You just have a bunch of milk and you call it a cake. No, it's a good cake No, it's just a it's just made with three different milks, but it's not like a milky cake.

No, it's a wet bread cake. It's super moist. It's not wet. It's not like it's wet. It's just cake. It's cake. It's just cake. Like, look.

It's moist. It's just, Andrew, it's just cake. What do you mean it's not wet? It's sat in a puddle of milk. It's a little wet. Yeah, it looks at the bottom. Definitely. Look at the sheen on the left side. Look at the sheen on that.

And the bubbles up the front. You're an you're a maniac if you think that's not wet. Yeah, that's definitely wet at the bottom. No, it's normal. One of the highlights of our trip, our time in the ocean. We can talk about sunglasses and the whole sunglasses saga We talk about mana zoomers revenge. Huh we talk about the show. I watched urban It was oh we can talk about how everybody got TV in English, but Jeff and Emily

Meg kept watching episodes of CSI on TNT. It was like playing CSI constantly we'd come to breakfast She'd be like oh, this is what happened on CSI on TNT. It was like playing CSI constantly. And we'd come to breakfast and she'd be like, oh, this is what happened on CSI last night. Everybody, we should all be watching CSI at night when we go to bed. And everybody was able to, but our TV was only in Spanish. We had all the same channels, but they were all in Spanish and there was nothing on the remote or the TV

that would let me change it. And so everybody got to have these like in-depth CSI conversations every morning and we were left the fuck out. I like that it was like, oh, this is what happened on CSI last night even though it was last night in 2004 Well it sparked a whole conversation about uh that we'll get into either here or in sausage talk about an idea around old content What was actually pretty fruitful? Also, we we learned that I didn't I didn't know that this was a thing. Because I kind of grew up on the Gulf Coast. I spent a lot of time in the ocean, but we learned you can be bad at ocean.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. And one of us is naturally bad at ocean. Oh, I think Eric is bad at ocean. He's bad at ocean. I'm not bad at ocean. I my sunglasses stayed on the whole time I didn't lose any I did get slammed so hard in the ear with a wave that I think I got a very small ear infection, but no no yeah, you recoiled like someone like that like the ocean just grew a hand and slapped you Into my brain it went into my brain every time turned around, Eric was eating three gallons of salt water. It was just like, it had it in for him. It was slapping him around like a gnat all day long. It was bad. It was really bad.

The waves started getting crazy. It started getting nuts. And if you're far enough into the ocean, a big, big wave that will break in, you know, great fashion at the end of the sand, you just kind of float over it as though it's nothing. And I was a little bit further out, so I was just bobbing over these giant waves. And then I would hear the break on Eric's head and he would just be screaming in my eyes. I couldn't, I couldn't get closer. It kept pushing me away. It was fighting me big style. I hated it.

He had like, he had like 11 drinks in him too. So he was just like challenging and yelling at the ocean. It was a thing to behold. Meg was very entertained. We were laughing. Yeah. I gave, Javier was a great dude who was coming around to our area,

and I gave him 20 bucks and I said, "'Man, you've been great today, thanks." And he said, "'No problem.'" And then started bringing me doubles. And that was like, I remember like the first half of the day pretty good. Second half of the day, a little hazy, a lot of sleeping. We were making some dinner plans

and then your small wife texted the group, I don't think Eric's gonna make it. No! It was like 5 p.m. you were done for the rest of the day. I was too in a different way, unfortunately. But. Yeah, so what was up? Cause I was fighting the ocean and tequila.

What were you fighting, Jeff? Well, it seems at some point and I don't I don't want to pivot too far away from the sunglass saga, because I think that's fascinating. We should get into. But at some point, right around the time you passed out from alcohol poisoning, I I got a little rumble in my tummy, which I was kind of expecting. Unfortunately, when I travel now with the diverticulitis, you know, with my butthole issues, any like change to my routine kind of fucks me up a little bit.

And so I always at like some point have like a crampy day I got to deal with, and I bring extra MiraLax and stuff for it. So I was expecting to have like an issue. I wasn't expecting to have this issue. I did not have diverticulitis issue. I had, I suddenly, in the water hanging out, beating the shit out of the waves with everybody, I realized I had, I was about to have explosive diarrhea.

Oh no. So I ran up to the hotel room and I had a, I had a D dumb and dumber-esque shit, legs straight out, yeah, legs straight out, that was followed by 14 more in the next few hours. I ended up, I got up to shit seven times in the middle of the night that night. Like, luckily I have an aura ring now, so it tells me, it's like you took a shit at 115, you took a shit at 132,

you took a shit at 208, and so I have like the record of it. And- High stress levels detected. I got Montezuma's Revenge, which I've never had before. It kicked in around Saturday afternoon, and it didn't end until Tuesday evening. And I was just, I didn't let it affect the vacation, other than Saturday night, I took it easy.

I still did all the stuff with you guys but I just would have to take breaks to just blow chunks out of my asshole for a while. And I was just like, I was like a water hose by Sunday afternoon. I was just like, he'd just like fucking turn it on and just water the plants with it. It was brutal and I don't know how I got it

because you know, everything I drank was Diet Coke, for the most part. I did have a lot of those Virgin Miami Vices, which are the non-alcohol version of the drink everybody else was having. And so I don't think that would have done it. And I really didn't eat much. Yeah, but did you brush your teeth

and use the faucet one time by accident? Maybe one time by accident. I can't specifically remember one night. Did you take a shower and put a bunch of water in your mouth maybe? No, I drank a bunch of salt water from the ocean unfortunately. And the only other thing I can think of is

I really over-indexed on the Neapolitan ice cream. That was the new stars. Andrew, you would not believe how good the vanilla ice cream is. And I'm a person who considers vanilla ice cream to be the base ice cream. You know, we've talked about this. But this vanilla ice cream was next level. If that's what gave me the shits, it was worth it.

That's not true. It wasn't worth it. Nothing was worth it. Nothing at all was worth it. But it was like, I even, time it was fucking I was nervous to fly So I had to like take a shit the second before we got on the plane And then I took a shit the second we got off the plane But I managed not to blow out the the the bathroom at the on the plane which was awesome Did you just need to on the plane or you having to like oh?

mentally manage it. No, I needed to Right as they announced we were landing so when there's about 30 minutes left, it's when it hit me Yeah, a bit of hope and then I was like as long as we don't taxi too long and what you know what I mean? And it was fine But I like I basically sprinted cuz that then I got off the plane and I realized oh fuck We're an international flight. I have to go through fucking passport control. Oh, no. I've never done that in Austin before.

You're in an office building for like a football field. There's nothing in there. That is the craziest place. Every time I've done international, you land in like Houston or Dallas and like do it there. Never done that in Austin. You're just inside of the building from Severance to like go to show someone your passport. It was crazy.

It goes so fast in Austin, too, though. It's so great. I will say the upstairs bathroom before you get down to that is pretty empty, but I wouldn't recommend using it for a while because they're going to need to do some renovations. Oh, man. Calling all sellers. Salesforce is hiring account executives to join us on the cutting edge of technology.

Here, innovation isn't a buzzword. It's a way of life. You'll be solving customer challenges faster with agents, winning with purpose and showing the world what AI was meant to be. Let's create the agent first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more.

Speaking of airports, did you notice that in the Cancun airport, they've implemented car park technology to the toilets? What? What? Oh, where it tells you the light that it's open. It's unbelievable. Every box should have this. Yeah. Yeah. It's cool. Oh, where it tells you the light that it's open. It's unbelievable. Every box should have this. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, wow. I completely agree with that. Interesting. Yeah, I should. I've never seen that in box, but now you don't have to look between the massive cracks in American toilet stores. What?

What is this that you're signed into that you just sent this with? What? What account? What account is this? Oh, other Gavi. That's the second account I made so that I can stream my gameplay. I made that for you. Other Gaby.

You ungrateful bastard. Thank you. Thank you, Gaby. Speaking of ungrateful, you know who's not ungrateful? Gavin. He's a true fucking friend. I gotta say, I love Gavin. We were in the water on Saturday. He's a true fucking friend. I I gotta say I love Gavin we we were in the water on Saturday and Gavin Gavin and I were love to get hit by waves and we're playing around we invented a game

Where this is for a I want to pitch you guys on something called hot dog Olympics I don't want to get too much sausage talking episode. Okay, cuz uh We got a lot of, we solicited a response from the audience for last week about whether we should do GTR or whatever. We got a ton of response that was really helpful and I read all of it, but one of the pieces of response I got that I took to heart was that we talked too much sausage talk in the episode and they want a podcast talk. So I don't want to get too deep into that, we invented a Thing called hot dog Olympics and one of them is to hold two hot dogs above your hand Above your head and try to walk as far out into the ocean as you can before the hot dogs get wet and we were playing That for a while with air hot dogs. It was fucking awesome. Yeah, we were practicing. We just had empty hands

So we're just holding up just like two grabbed hands above our heads and having Meg and Emily tell us if the hot dogs would've got wet Two grabbed hands above our heads. And having Meg and Emily tell us if the hot dogs would have got wet. It was so much fun. But at some point, Gavin turns around and he gets whacked by a wave really hard, and his sunglasses go flying. And he's like, oh, my glasses! It was the back of my head and they just got sucked right off. Like, I didn't even see them.

So everybody just starts swimming around looking for Gavin's glasses in the water We look for like 10 minutes and we can't find him and I thought that's really disappointing and Gavin's like I there was a you know is a I have other pairs as a free pair I got from an endorsement or whatever probably and he was like, it's no big deal I have more sunglasses and so the next day he came out with a different pair and we're hanging out and playing the same dumb Games and Meg turns around and she gets fucking whacked with a wave pair, and we're hanging out and playing the same dumb games, and Meg turns around and she gets fucking thwacked with a wave, and her sunglasses go flying. And Meg's like, no, my sunglasses!

And we're kinda laughing about it, and she goes, they're prescription! And I was like, no, fuck this ocean, I'm not letting another one of my friend's sunglasses go. And I thought, I bet these things don't, I bet they just sink. So I ran over to where, well, I swam over to where where Meg was and I just started shuffling on the ground with my feet Kind of like in Mario Party Jubilee, you know the one mini game where you're the stamp and you're trying to cover as much of that

You know talking about the new Mario Party. Yes Jubilee yeah, it's not what it's called Jamboree but But it's a fun... Jamboree, jamboree, whatever. Fish and jubilee. Same shit. Anyway, so like that, and then after like, and everybody starts to do it, and after like 90 seconds, I fucking found it with my toe.

And I'm like, holy shit, I think I got it. And I reach down and I pull out Meg's glasses, and we saved her prescription glasses. It was crazy. It was incredible. It was crazy It was so crazy And so I felt like a fucking hero and I felt like we discovered a tactic that if you lose your glasses in the ocean They go straight to the bottom. So don't bother looking through the water at stuff Don't bother like looking where they might have been pushed to just start shuffling around on the ground and And then like, I don't know, maybe a half hour later, Gavin loses his new sunglasses.

And I'm like, no, not again. Now we know how to do this. And so I fucking launch into action. And within firstly, though, Meg Meg was like, I found him. They they flew into my hands. And then she realized that her own ones had fallen off again and she Caught her own. Yeah, that was funny, too But so I jump over to where Gavin is and in less than 90 seconds

I found him they're at my foot and I'm like, yeah, I found your glasses right here But they're like right where a wave is breaking so it keeps like hammering me And I'm like Gav my foot's on him swim down and get it and he's like trying to look with his hands to get it And I'm like he's I love you useless to get it. And I'm like, he's, I love you, but you're useless. And I'm like, fuck it, I'll get it myself. And so I dive down to go get him. And right as I do, I get fucking whacked with another wave and my glasses go flying.

These glasses that Emily and I bought together in London. And I'm like, no, not my glasses. And then I lose Gavin's glasses in the same breath. And then my glasses are fucking gone, gone. And then, so we're like looking around again. And then I think Meg or Emily found Gavin's glasses like 30 seconds later So we we ended up with everybody's glasses, but mine I I got annoyed because I you know I I didn't plan on losing my glasses at any point and I'm able to find everybody else's but my own and so I'm looking

Around and looking around and finally I do the thing when I get pet pissed I'm like I'm just gonna buy my way out of this. So I just walk out of the ocean. I walk back up to my hotel room, get my wallet, take a couple of diarrhea shits, go downstairs to the sunglass store, buy a new pair of sunglasses, go back up to my hotel room, take another diarrhea shit, drop my wallet back off,

because I don't need it at the beach, come all the way back down to the Beach and as I'm walking up to the beach Gavin's walking out of the ocean. He's like Would you find your sunglasses because I'm wearing new sunglasses I know I just went to the I just went to the store and bought them and took eight shits or whatever why? Have you been in the water this whole time looking for mine? He's like well Yeah, he spent probably 30 minutes looking for my sunglasses by himself. I had no idea. I was out there.

I was shuffling around. I was out there buying sunglasses and taking care of business. And he's such a good friend. He never gave up looking for him. I really appreciated that. Well, I felt bad because it was it was a one for one sacrifice. But you you lost yours and ended up with mine. I like that you said I was useless though.

You said, I got it. They're on my foot. I'm like, scramble it over. And I'm like, get it. You can't see. I can see where your foot was. So I was like, starting at your hip, which I could see. And then you're then you're acting like I didn't also get washed away by the wave.

So I'm like, flipped upside down as well. Desperate to hang on to your fucking Glasses my big toe. I should have just put my hand on the front of your face Was there any consideration to just not wear sunglasses in this environment after like the seventh time sunglasses went it was right oh bright It was so bright, Andrew. Okay, impossible. It was cloudless. The sea was so blue.

Got it, okay. Everything reflected into your eyes. I, after getting my ass kicked by the ocean the first time, I'm like, oh, I'm going back out there later, like the next day, with no sunglasses. I've got ankle deep and I went, fuck that. And I turned back around and I got my sunglasses.

It's so bright. Total, I figured it was as much, but it just, it had to be asked after this has happened eight times in a row. I mean, you can sunburn your eyes, but I don't think you're allowed to put sunscreen in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's illegal actually to do that. It was pretty impressive to see like the ocean be conquered and then

get its wind back so quickly with like all this stuff. Like you try to go against Poseidon. Yeah. The ocean stays undefeated, dude. Yeah. Undefeated since forever. The sun kind of started behind the ocean in perspective to where we were. And as the sun moves over and gets behind us, the ocean just goes like super blue mode. Yeah.

In my opinion, that was the time to get in there. Well, it's like full blue. Sounds nice. It was it looked fucking fake. Like Meg said, it looked cell shaded. And she was right. It really is. You look at like you play Sea of Thieves and you're like, I wish the water looked like this.

Apparently it does. Yeah, it was it's the best it's ever looked. I think you pointed out last time, like when we went before, it was, there was like some seaweed and stuff like that. This was like the most pristine ocean, I think. I mean, I grew up around the ocean and this was like gorgeous compared to any ocean I've ever seen.

It was incredible. And pictures don't even do it justice. Like it was bluer than this picture, but the camera tries to like white balance off some of the blue by like adding yellow. It was bluer than that. Yeah. And like so see through, like you could just see to the bottom and say it was, it was really, really cool. It was great. And then bunch of food. We just kept eating and hanging out. We went to the, uh, alien sports

bar again. Uh, it was great. Uh, showed Gavin the dart board, uh, really great stuff. Um, Eric, what game did, game was that we watched? That was Eagles Packers, right? Yeah. Yes. Oh, Eric and I sat down together, just the two of us to watch the Eagles Packers game in this room, in this alien sport bar. And it was one of the funniest experiences I've ever had, because the sports bar was split into two groups. There was the Packers group in one room and the Eagles group in another behind us and for some reason our TV

Was about a minute and five seconds behind every other TV But it was the only place for us to sit so we would be waiting for we just be waiting during a dead play or whatever and then suddenly all the Packers fans would be screaming and hooping for joy and we'd be like, oh, well, something's gonna happen positive for them. Oh, there you go, they got a first down. And so we got like, we could determine

what was gonna happen ahead of time based on who was screaming in the place. And it was a really funny way to watch a football game. It was the most unique way I've ever watched a football game that I didn't care about because it made me go, oh, I think this might be the way to do it. Like divide the room behind you,

let them be a minute ahead and then just go, ooh, I'm excited for what they just yelled for and you just keep sitting and waiting. It's so cool. Gavin sent me a football text and I was curious if you two were part. What? Gavin sent me

what I described as the worst take I think you'll have all year. It made no sense. It was related to football. I had to I wonder if the others could guess what my suggestion for an improvement to the sport would be. There's no way they can.

OK, are you going to even set it up? Clock doesn't stop. Yeah, no. It's related to. Okay, are you gonna even set it up? The clock doesn't stop. Yeah. No It's related to Okay, so so sometimes you know if there's like a set if there's like an inception or something and the guy just starts cooking In the other direction and everyone's behind it not I mean Like it really depends but for the for the sake of whatever Gavin's gonna say. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, dude. I agree. They are behind him. Well sometimes He's just completely uncontested

Mm-hmm. So you think there should be a goalie? Is that is that what you're getting you think there should be a goalie? Yeah texted me 757 p.m. I figured out the problem with American football. No goalkeepers I saw that and replied insane take 11 on every play It's the entire one of the teams is all goalkeepers their entire function is to prevent goals of any kind Well, why is it? Wait, what? What because there's an offense and there's a defense where in soccer or football, your football,

it's fluid when you're on offense and defense. And it's the same people in the same roles. Say your team is good is attacking going one way, right? Right. Have a guy that just stays all the way back on your goal line. They do. It's called the safety. No. OK. I now understand what he's saying. He thinks that there should be an offensive goalkeeper.

Which I'm... Yes. Absolutely. So when it flips around and the guy just starts booking his asshole all the way and there's no one in front of him, all he has to do is outrun behind him. If there was one goalkeeper that he had to deal with at the last second, I think that'd be phenomenal. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and agree. I'm going to go ahead and agree with Gavin. I think there should be an offensive goalkeeper also. I agree. Yeah upon

understanding this Well, I assume that he he got this take between you guys and then when I said this is a wild take by you And then he just never replied which then made me think did he come up with this? Like the the knowledge to? No, I just, I'm always scared of getting into content off of podcasts. I actually, I think, I think everybody agrees with your idea, Gavin. I think we should try it for one season. Yeah, one described that way.

I think that's really fun. Yeah, I like that. I actually had a note while we're on the subject of improving sports. You know, I'm a big time hockey fan now, big as a hockey fan as Andrew even, and know it backwards and forwards and all this stuff. I had an idea on how to improve hockey. Okay. Two pucks.

Oh, so in. Oh my God. Multi puck is fun. Yes, baby. Multi puck. All I can think of every time I watch hockey is, man, imagine if you had to split your focus between two pucks at once. That would heighten the tension. That's awesome.

I would love I would love a hockey if it was streamed on Twitch and it was like, you know, when you get knocked out of party animals and you get to throw the occasional bomb or a fish. If Twitch could just like vote on what goes in, like a second puck, be phenomenal. I think that if you go to the penalty box, one point per game, somebody in that penalty box can throw the multi puck in and now you just have to deal with it. So now it's like, it's not like there's a, like there is a a benefit to the penalty So you like want to get in there? But you don't want to get in there too soon unless you really want that multipuck early and what if in the penalty box? Under your seat There's an electric shock that can be controlled by the other penalty box and vice versa and there's a button you can push to shock

Them but they can push a button to shock you I mean, let's just be honest every sport is improved with a multi ball functionality I can't think of a single one where it'd be less fun to have a moment in which there are two balls in place simultaneously Could you imagine if a quarterback had a holster and he had a ball in each? Yeah, and he fucking throws the first ball Does a second what totally changed the way that like we view quarterbacks where it's like, oh, you can like scramble, like get out of the pocket. Right. But how does he throw that second football? Yeah. What does the defense do at a double handoff?

Two guys go in other directions as well. Oh, wow. Double handoff. You know what else is to if you if you're like, say, a running back and you you get handed off both balls and you score with double that should count as two touchdowns, right? Like that double score. Absolutely. Absolutely. The XFL had a really dumb rule when they brought it back, where

if you're on defense and you like recovered a fumble, you got to keep the other team's ball that had their logo on it, which I thought was like fun, dumb. But it really could have been amazing if it was like the if the other team ran out of balls, you just won. Like every team had like four footballs. And if you intercepted or like recovered all four, the game just ended with you. It's like halfway there, halfway there with a great rule.

How weird that's like weird. They're halfway there with a great rule. How weird. That's like, weird, like difficult to explain, but also I think I understand, like immediately. That's how weird. It's like the offense is like, always had their own team logo on the ball, so you got to keep it as like a trophy,

and that's all it was, but I like the idea of they only have like five. They only have five. And if you get all five, it's over. They hit the fray. Nothing says poverty franchise like we only brought five balls. Because there's not really a mechanism in sport where like you have to stop playing because you're out of equipment.

No, yeah, that's sort of like they're like billion dollar industries. So I think it would be really crazy if they just went, well, we're out of bats. We can't bat anymore. We don't have just went, well, we're out of bats. We can't bat anymore. Like seven home runs. We're out of balls. Unless somebody- It must've happened once. Oh, definitely.

In like the fifties or something, like you just know the NFL when it started, back when it was like the NFL and the AFL, like before they merged, it was just like, well, the Cincinnati Bengals couldn't play today. They only had one ball and then they popped the ball. They're like, get on the loudspeaker. Does anyone in the crowd have a football on them

we could borrow? We will give it back at the end of the game. In our lifetime, like, I think, Jeff, I think you've seen it a little bit more, but in our lifetime, we've seen like sports in the US get so big and like so expensive. But there was a time where it was just like some guys doing this and then they would get done with the game and go back to work at the grocery store or the bar.

And that was just it. Like that was just what sport was. Yeah, until this late 70s, early 80s, even probably in sports. Yeah, definitely. Crazy. Crazy. Do you think we could potentially do a draft that was sports improvements draft? That's so good. That's interesting. So good. I'll put it on the list. I'll put it on the list of ideas.

Maybe putting it on the list of ideas. Speaking of why, I don't want to take it away, get it to into Sausage Talk territory. But there is one draft I I wanted to pitch Eric Eric You know it Gavin you know it but Andrew and Nick that I came up with the other day that we've been kind of going around I was thinking it would be cool to do a it's like a two-part draft The first part is everybody has to draft four movies from their birth year Okay, so you we all pick the cool the four coolest movies from our birth year. Okay. So we all pick the four coolest movies from our birth year. We've looked at yours, Andrew, that are very good.

You have some options that are pretty cool. And then we do that draft, and you know, snake draft style. And then at the end, then we take all those movies and we have to rank them and see where we think they go from best to worst. Oh, I love this idea so much. I think it's so good. I think it's so so good I just put it in the bank. I think it's fantastic. So would that be our first draft ranker?

Yeah, how would the draft work because we can't is it just us declaring what will be on the list? Yeah Like every other draft we've done Just what I didn't understand is glad I got Because where we can't snipe each other's picks. Yeah, that's essentially what I'm saying of like we all are just going to have what we have. Yeah, but it's very rare that we ever snipe each other's picks.

Yeah, yeah. You're not really playing for the draft part. You're playing for the ranking part, right? Because you're trying to get your four best or the four that you think are going to rank the best. And so you're draft, you're drafting for the ranking. I think you've got the potential to win But I also think you have the potential for the biggest fumble of this. I agree really. Oh, yeah

Yeah, you yes, and I think I probably should have the highest ranked movie in the draft, but we'll see We'll see I was worried briefly that I was born the same year as Nick, but apparently Nick's an 87 Same year as Nick, but apparently Nick's an 87. Okay, good. Surviving the game. I know what I'm going with. That sounded like you just told Nick when he was born and he was like, oh, I am.

Okay, cool. Thanks for letting me know. Nick's been- I was worried Gavin shared the same year as well. Yeah. Nick's been a big, Nick's been like a real guy lately. Nick's been a real character. And we're just, hey, we want to record this thing.

I have to pick up my car. I, okay. All right. Well, the hardest guy to get pinned down. I don't know, man. I think Nick is secretly the busiest person of the whole group. I agree.

Yes, yes, I agree. I don't know if it's a secret. He's the only one of us with a toddler. That instantly makes him busier. Yeah. But didn't you have a toddler when you work to work? Yes Didn't I have a toddler when I worked at work? No Nick oh But he's more active now, and I have to do I've taken places to do shit

I'm gonna delete that you put in Eric just as it was already in above it. Oh, okay great Oh, what was the other one that we had? We added wheel of decades Birth year movie draft are we know stradamus and sports improvement draft? These are good. We'll talk about all these sausage ocker or whatever we want to pitch these ideas later But like are we know stradamus was such a fun. I just like that name so much. It's great. We got to do that soon. I Just watched interview the vampire. It's a 94 film. What a Like disappointing watch current day to thrilling at the time

Because that that film ends in a way of like shits gonna go down We're gonna make more movies and then just knowing none of that happens. It is such a disappointing end to that that movie. Yeah, the whole point of the ending is like, oh, man, that was really unsatisfying. And it's like, yeah, that's how life is sometimes. And then they set up like what the next act will be. And then none of those people came back to follow through on that story. It kind of took the air out of the whole Anne Rice mystique at the time, because she was really fucking big at the time

Interview at the vampire vampire Lestat all that stuff that was very much like like the grown-up version of Harry Potter for that era and everybody was in love with it and her and then that movie came out and Was kind of a dud and then then that was pretty much it It felt like it could have been like an alternate universe exists where that is the twilight of that time It was just like the actors in it were too popular So there's no need for them to be in seven of these but they could have there's a world in which we got seven of these And what a weird time that would have been it was also honestly a much better book than a movie They didn't do a great job with the film. Like from casting on, they really didn't.

I can see that. Not gonna part with that fucking movie. Oh, it's not gonna be on my list. How do you fuck up Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise at the height of their career? Yeah, yeah. Was Meat Show Black a good movie? Never saw it.

You're saying, there's a funny part in it where Brad Pitt speaks Patois. He's like, I was about to do it, I'm not gonna do it, part in it where Brad Pitt speaks Patois. He's like, I was about to do it. I'm not going to do it. He starts speaking Patois to a woman in a hospital where he sounds like Chet Hanks, you know, just doing like a Jamaican accent. It's very strange.

I've only seen that clip because she can like see who he really is. Right. And, uh, that and just getting hit by two cars. That's the only thing I know. It's so cool. Have you seen that, Andrew? Yes. It's so cool.

It's awesome. It's so crazy. Half of me Joe Black. We had a moment on the Slack while we're in Mexico where for some reason Andrew was posting a flag I think it was the UAE flag or something. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I didn't know what flag it was. We were trying to figure out what flag it was and then then eventually we got onto like someone guessed Chad and The flag of Chad it wasn't that and then I thought oh, I know I'm gonna change

I'm gonna change my contact for Chad James to the flag of Chad and James. And Chad James used to work at screw attack and all that stuff. And then I was like, Oh, I'm excited to get a text from Chad now. And then Eric was like, how often does Chad text you? And I was like, Oh, I don't know. Let me search. And I searched my messages for Chad

He nothing came up because I've changed him to the plug. You can't search for him You can't type Chad you got rid of his name He's a symbol now. It was it screwed me over within like 20 seconds of me doing it. Oh good question. Let me oh, I don't know be doing it. Oh, good question. Let me. Oh, I don't know. But that's how he is in my phone now. Oh, my God. I have a question for you, Gavin. Yeah, I was thinking about this. Have you played some thieves, right? And you know how like the health works?

Well, I give a health bar. And if you eat meat, you get a second health bar. You can get an additional bar. If real life worked that way, if you could just accumulate, like imagine like life was a survival game, where you have your sleep and you have your water and you have your food and you could just accumulate bars that slowly depleted as they naturally would. Would you spend like would you take two months of the year off

to just get all your eating done and all your sleeping and drinking for the year? If I could eat like a golden apple equivalent, I would not eat for two months. Crazy, crazy. Now, in a scenario in which it's not like there's not like a calorie issue, like everything is healthy. Everything is good. You're just like essentially just ingesting your calories now to be distributed across that time period.

Kind of like a bear getting ready for sure. Like hibernation. Yeah. You're like front loading that that work so that you can just focus on slow mo guys, I guess. Yeah. I mean, if you could, you would opt out of eating like day to day. I would I would opt out of I mean, I would probably still eat a social dinner. Does it bear? What is hibernation?

Good. I it's not what you think it is, I think. I thought they were just having like a three month kip. But apparently that they're like awake and stuff. Yes. I don't know what they're doing. There's something they're like half awake awake half asleep just hanging out losing weight. Are they in like a different... different... state to being...

awake in the sleep? Is it like a middle ground? Yeah, I think it's a middle thing. I think it's just like it's a lot of sleep where like they lower their... heart rate and metabolism, but I kind of want to go back. What's a Kip? Is a Kip a nap? Yeah, I think it's a nap. Yeah, sleep. I don't've ever heard that I heard Nick's a really up and I felt the same way Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard that it would just kind of threw me also Oh, I wonder if I can find me saying kip in an episode of this podcast. I bet you can well probably I think you've talked about the golden apple thing before so yeah, probably

isn't there like a certain type of squirrel that like actually hibernates and they have an extremely high alcohol tolerance because their berries ferment. And then so they come out and they like eat the berries and then other animals eat them and get fucked up off of them. And then they die like they get other animals drunk by being ingested by the animals. So the squirrel is basically a bottle of vodka for other animals. Yes, it's like, oh, what is it?

It's like a rodent of some kind. They're tiny little guys. You wouldn't expect them to have an insanely high alcohol content. Oh, and they get drunk from eating the squirrel. Yes. So the squirrel eats it is unfazed by it. Then like a wolf eats the squirrel and then the squirrel gets drunk off of the squirrel and it fucks them up. Wait, the squirrel gets drunk off of the squirrel and it fucks them up. Wait, the squirrel gets drunk? The squirrel?

No, the wolf eats the squirrel and the squirrel dies in the wolf and the wolf gets drunk from the squirrel. The squirrel dies, yeah. What you didn't consider is the squirrel dies in the wolf. Wow! Rodent alcohol content. What am I thinking? Did I make this up? Did I dream this? That's an insane search. That's a 12% squirrel. The squirrel's like wine!

This is just like mice. This is like the Golschlager of squirrels. Rodent gets animals drunk. This squirrel's like Ruppelmint's fuck. I'd love to see a six pack of squirrels like ruffle mints fuck oh I'd love to see a six pack of Squirrel you want squirrel light you gotta I got a big mouth squirrel here You know the squirrel's ready when his tummy's blue. What's going on there? Is that some gross animal testing video? This is the researchers are trying to get mice drunk or something I guess. That's so horrible.

That's me and Cancun. That's Javier giving me doubles. That is what you look like at the end. Oh dude, I was toast. It was bad. Um Gavin, do you remember any of the hypotheticals that you were laying out to the group? Yeah, does it involve me dying again? No, no, no, we stayed away from that. Okay. It's not good for your dick though I think the first one was you get $50,000, but your belly button is seasonal What does that mean I thought it moved around your body Yeah, it just like rotates around your body until a year later is in the same spot. Oh right because yeah, that's fine

Yeah, I'd say yeah, that's a yes. Yeah, sure give any other ones that was easy Yeah, well you wouldn't you, that's a yes. Yeah, sure. Do you have any other ones? That one was easy. Yeah. Well, you wouldn't, you wouldn't find it weird if like in August, your belly button was on your shoulder or something. You wouldn't find it. Okay. Well, I guess let me ask is the whole, does the whole move or is it like any indentation move or is it just the thing?

What do you think about it? How would, how would you believe the whole word? What do you think he's talking about, Andrew? Well, you know how they have an in and out, right? The belly button. Yeah. Yeah. So if you're an Annie, that's your belly button. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. How do I describe this? So there's a hole.

So the belly button itself, it's the thing that does the hole move with the belly button what are they different? What do you mean? It's the same thing How are you gonna have? What? Okay, no, because this is if the hole moves. I'm less weirded out by it. What do you mean if the whole if I just got a hole With nothing at the bottom of it. But the hole isn't there and then it just happens to have the bellybutt inside. The bellybutt causes the hole. It's not a hole either. It's just a like a little indent. A little crevice.

Whatever. Sounds like the end of a balloon knot. Sure. That's where they cinched it up. I guess I was just curious if it moved if all the moves are just the one part How would they move independently of each other I don't I can't move they move at all this is an insane hypothetical If they could move independently, what difference would it make if there's suddenly a big hole on your shoulder? What does this make if there's a knot at the bottom of it or not? No, I think the knot is weirder than the hole. Well, people have to like look down it. Yeah. They're not going to be looking at my hole, but they'll see my knot.

I don't like that sense. Someone's going to clip that. So let's make it. That's going to be messed up, man. That's oh, man. That's a ring tone. The knot is just exposed. The hole. There's some secrecy to a hole. You don't necessarily know what's going on with the hole.

Clip all that to you. You think that the hole goes somewhere like you. If I see a belly button hole on someone's shoulder, I don't go, oh, that's a belly button hole. I go, that's a hole. Wonder what happened there. And I don't judge. You wouldn't think, wow, that looks like they have a belly button on their shoulder.

That would be weirder to me because there's mystery. You guys ever see JJ Abrams talk about the mystery box? It's a delightful thing. The mystery of not knowing if it was just the the full the belly button part, I would know. Did anybody at any point glean what the fuck he was talking about between the hole and the belly button? Spilling how he's talking about like you wouldn't know like it's like Schrodinger's belly button Yeah

How wouldn't you know? Okay? Let me show you it looks exactly like the belly button on your tummy. It's just on your shoulder Okay, I looked up belly button hole Okay, this and alcohol rats or whatever is going to fuck up your search history. This is bad. OK, so see, I'm posting a photo of a belly button hole. Yeah, belly button. OK, but there's a hole and then there's the button part in it. That's just an any.

Yes. Oh, really? OK, the Audi still has a hole. It's just filled. What do you mean? What do you mean? Oh, OK. What did you just say. What do you mean? Oh, okay. What did you just land? Wait. What was land? What? I just see water everywhere.

What's at the bottom of the innie hole? The fricking not. Okay, let me look up an Audi. It's the same thing. It's just further out Where's it now is it just like a botched not yeah, I think so Just didn't it just didn't stay in okay here We got this maybe the baby car strong and it popped out this kind of illustrates my point a little bit better

You guys are gonna to get it now. OK, so see, I'm posting a thing. Oh, gross. Is your belly button an any or an outie? Oh, I hate this. Yeah. Well, this is what you did. See on the right. I just know that that's a belly button. Not. Yeah. But that's on.

On the left. I know it's on the left. I know it's a belly button, not because of where the belly button is. Listen, moron. These are saying there's six belly buttons here. These are all belly buttons. Imagine you had number four. It moves around your body seasonally. I don't know what you don't get.

You're explaining belly buttons. You can have multiple, like when you're a kid, it's probably not gonna be as any as it is now. Right? I, yeah, guys, I hate to say it, but I think I understand where he's coming from Let me talk it out, okay what Andrew's saying I think and Andrew correct me if I'm wrong But if we're gonna just go with the top belly button the left one in the right one, right? We're not gonna look at the six just the top of the image the belly button on the right one and the right one, right? We're not going to look at the six, just the top of the image. The belly button on the right, the Audi, if you see that on your shoulder, you immediately think, oh, that's a fucking belly button on his shoulder.

But if you see the belly button on the left, which is a pretty extreme any, it just looks like a hole. It could be a staph infection or something. It doesn't necessarily anything scream belly button. I understand that. Like that's but but when I said your belly button moves I don't know how we separated those as two things, but nobody does I don't think he does well No, I assume that the whole

the whole is Yeah, so the whole I was thinking I Yeah, so the hole, I was thinking, I guess I just wasn't. I guess. I don't know. I just to me, I feel like the hole is a product of the button. But I see what you mean of you couldn't have the hole without the button. But in a world in which these are all moving in ridiculous ways, I don't think it's an unfair question to ask if the hole moves. You're going to love the clone question Gavin has next for you. That was number three. I was trying to remember number two.

But that's like saying, like imagine if your mouth was seasonal. And then you were like, wait, is the mouth moving or the hole? It's the same thing. The mouth is hole. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess your lips would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I don't know. I didn't think about belly buttons that much. This is the most I've ever thought about. He just he keeps saying, yeah, but there's like I don't think there's any understanding behind it.

Does anyone remember the next one? I got it. I don't. I just remember the I just remember the clone one there. I think there was one other one, but I don't remember it. I don't know. But this just gave me a really weird idea. You know how when you pierce your ears and then then you have to pop a hole through your ear, and then it's pierced? And then if you take your earring out for too long, it'll eventually grow over a little bit

with a little slap of skin, but then you have to pierce it again to repop it. What if your butthole worked like that? And you originally had a grown over butthole, and you had to pierce it so that you could poop. And then if you have, I don't know, if you don't poop enough, or if you get too constipated your your butthole can grow back over then you got a real Repop it every time you got a poop that isn't that kind of what happened to you when you were off solids for all that

Time and then you poop like a little peas worth, but it was really Yes, but I didn't have to like break through any skin or anything, but yeah, no, it was essentially the same thing I was just thinking more of like having to go to Claire's boutique to get your butthole pierced again so that you can poop. Like if an anus had a regrowable hymen. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Anyway, what was your next? What was your next, Kevin? I don't know. But the third one was you get 100 grand and then a clone, an exact clone of you in this moment, gets burst from somewhere, and then just waits in a hotel room, and anyone can go and have sex with it.

Well, no! You said they can do whatever they want to it, not just have sex with it, which is way worse. No, I said they could just go and bang it, and then Emily was like, oh, but people are gonna beat the shit out of it and stuff. And you were like, yeah, they do whatever they want. They have it for an hour. What? No, I never said they do what they want. They just they just have a Anything sexually I guess I I didn't I didn't assume that mean like beating it and killing it

You guys thought I didn't have my story straight with this belly button thing. I don't know what you have a clone and you're fucking your clone No, no, no, no, no, no not in this. No one like this by the way No one was on board with this No, I don't think anyone wanted to do this one But it was the one that had the most discussion around it over and over and over and over and Meg was like I'm gonna find the loophole I Should have been here at Cancun. I would have tripled the belly button hole Gavin seems to think it's a good idea My point was if there are two of me in the world I must

Immediately seek that other me out and kill it because I know The other me that's getting fucking railed by old gross Businessmen all day long for a hundred thousand dollars a pop so that this me can go off and have fucking lavish Vacations and stuff while the other me is getting pegged night and day that guy's gonna get pissed real fast And he's gonna come looking for this me and he's gonna take me out and replace me as the real me and he can do that because he is me. So I gotta kill that motherfucker

before he thinks to kill me. Yeah, I was just trying to create a bigger moral dilemma than a belly button. Is the clone exactly like in every way and every way the clone exists as me? Identical. Meg's gonna have hers a stream for her No, I Wouldn't I couldn't do this because I've I watched a I had this is like a Karl

Pilkington thing recently like a rigged ratio clip or he was concerned He wouldn't know which was him and I agree with that. Yeah, I remember that clip He I think calls immediate question was how would I know which one I was yes And that would be a dilemma if it is identical Yeah, but that's not the reason that's a mental thing to say is that you can only experience you if there's three of you You'll still be you you won't be like oh, I'm that one over there Well, I wouldn't know if I was the original me or not if I was a copy I wouldn't know if I was the original me or not, if I was a copy. What do you mean? Well, yeah, it is true. The clone isn't necessarily know it's a clone.

The clone has no idea it's a clone. I would assume that I was the original. But in a world in which there are clones, I also would have to accept the fact I don't necessarily know that. Wasn't this a Ewan McGregor movie? You got to look for the dots on the island. Yeah, I don't want this podcast doesn't need three of me's all agreeing about belly buttons. If this show is all me and just everything is just yeah, that makes sense.

It would be a lot less interesting. All right, there's three of you, but you have to share the belly button. It's a time shift. What part of the body do I get it on? I don't know. I would take. Shoulder, I don't want on my lower back. I would take where a belly button normally goes. That's not fun.

If you're going to time share a belly button, you might as well get it somewhere else for a little bit of the year. What? If you're going to timeshare a belly button, why would you have it be the exact place you always have it? The whole joy of the timeshare would be to experience something different in a nonpermanent life. Where's the joy in what?

There's no joy in sharing or in belly button. Why else am I paying for this times share if it's not about joy? What? Why am I investing in a time share that I'm not enjoying? OK, so if you could choose to have just a perfectly smooth gut with no belly button, would you would you want that over a belly button? Absolutely. Yeah. Really? Why? No strategic defensive deficiencies. Why the What?

The fuck? I think I would swim better, too. I think I'd be more aerodynamic. You're a great. You're a crazy person. Defensive. Well, I've never seen Star Wars, but don't they shoot the ball in like a hole? It's like a small hole. I just feel like the belly button is a weak part of my body.

The belly button is literally opposite of that. It's like a small hole. I just feel like the belly button is a weak part of my body the belly button It's literally opposite of that. It's like a closed door. It's so the inside doesn't come out It's welded shut. Yeah, but a door can be opened not this door shut by What is more security or a solid wall or door? It's a wall a wall is more secure The wall is just around the door. So you're saying it's easier to. It's easier to penetrate a door than it is a wall,

because the door is designed to be open. I figured the belly button's got to be a lot of scar tissue layered on top of each other, right? So it's got to be like a little bit of armor more than anything. Yeah. Sounds like suddenly we're all a bunch of experts on how belly buttons work. If one of us isn't, I have a feeling I know who that is. Well, what's the stronger part of a bank for the wall or the door? Oh, oh, certainly the wall would have to be equally stronger.

So what would be the point of the door? Hmm. Fair point. Got it there. Let's let's make a vault and have three or four angles that are weak as shit and then one super strong one Well The walls are in the wool You can't often get to the wool From the outside. That's my point. You can't even get to it. But I don't know if it's the belly button. You can't even get to it to be a weak point.

It's just gone. No, no. Yeah, because. If you if you remove your nose, you can't break your nose. Think about it that way. Oh, Jeff, did you get a root cut on your teeth? Oh, you don't have any teeth. You can't they're gone. Not that I want that for you Jeff. This is my point.

Don't bring me into this. Don't you bring me into this. My point is if you don't have a thing, you can't lose the thing. But I mean go all the way. If there's no you, you can't break your leg. That's true. Guess who's never broken their leg? Someone that was never born. I mean, you go all the way. If there's no you, you can't break your leg. That's true. You guess who's never broken their leg?

Someone that was never born. That's actual. Yeah. Never never had the dollars, but you get born. Is that what we're asking? Where did it go off the rails? Was it the belly button? Oh, God. Well, that'll probably do it for this episode, I guess.

What do you guys think? I had a lot of notes that I didn't get to, but I think that's fine. Why don't you hit one of your notes? Let's go with one of Gavin's notes. Why don't you play us out? Can I? Okay, well, he's saying... Jesus Christ.

Can I quickly? Did you leave your notes in another room? Can I can I say my note is very quick? It's very please go for it. OK, I brought up the Marvel Rivals thing last episode, you know, my name and it being taken. This is a great opportunity for me to go back to the Facebook group chat of all Andrew Pantons, I checked in on him because I thought if one of them had it, I wouldn't be upset about it. I'll let them have the boil one.

Yeah, none of them have it. So I'm back to being upset about somebody else taking the pan. They don't deserve it. They're not part of the chat. But the interpans are good. It's an update on the interpans. Gavin. Is. I this on planes, right?

Fucking you guys are going to you side with this guy, this belly button fucking wanting son of a bitch? I do want one. Gavin sounded like he was trying to start a lawnmower. It's a new thing that's happening on planes. Well for some reason, I'll sit down in my seat and then every bastard that walks past me has a backpack and on the back of their backpack is a neck pillow that hits me in the face Every time I sit down on a plane I get walloped like seven or eight times and it didn't used to happen

Has anyone else experienced this? No Can't say that wouldn't happen if you didn't have a face Thanks for watching Can you believe Eric and Gavin can you believe we just created more than an hour of content this week? How is that even possible? No one else is doing it, man. No one else is doing it. I was sharing with them over the break, guys, that I had a conversation with my daughter when she was in town from college, you know, for the holiday. She was very excited because she was going to go see a comedian that she really loves.

Millie really loves stand-up. And so it's like her big thing she goes to a lot of stand-up and so there's a younger Gen Z stand-up she really digs and she was telling me about him and how cool he is and stuff and I was like oh that's awesome that's awesome I'm glad you get to go see it that's really cool and she goes and dad it's like the crazy thing is he does his stand-up right he's a stand-up for a living but then he has a YouTube channel where he creates like an hour Of new content every fucking week like who's doing that? That's game-changing And I was just like if he's doing an hour of stand-up every week. No, it's like a podcasty conversation type stuff

Oh, yeah, it's like well wheat and I was just like yeah who who could come up with an hour of new content a week boy That's a revolutionary idea and there you have it. We just did it. Thanks for tuning in to episode 37 of the reg you motherfucking Lation podcast it was a joy to perform it for you believe it or not we nailed it on the third take today We'll see you next time. Don't forget to rate and review, bye bye. People are gonna be real mad at me. Yep.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.