F**kface - A Bunch of Toilet Stories // The First F**kface App [46]

Episode Date: April 14, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Jon Voight style blood, Andrew's bathroom snack, and Geoff's pink porta potty. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail]. Sponsored by: Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), Quip (http://getquip.com/face), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/12face + code 12face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in We'll be right back. to learn more. Pork and pepper enchiladas, crispy Parmesan chicken, these are just some of the delicious meals that HelloFresh

has allowed me to prepare in under 30 minutes without having to leave home. Ready to try America's number one meal kit? Get 12 free meals, including free shipping, when you use code 12FACE

at HelloFresh.com slash 12FACE. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hang on one sec. I'll be 20 seconds. From Mississippi to Mississippi. Keep going. Mississippi.

Keep going. Mississippi. Keep counting. Yep. Six Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. Keep going. One Mississippi. Keep counting. Yep. Six Mississippi. 19 Mississippi. 20 Mississippi. 21 Mississippi.

Am I recording? 22 Mississippi. Yeah, I'm recording. Roll. 23 Mississippi. Why'd you go beyond 20? I was back at 20. You were back at 20!

I was back! When? At 20! You didn't say anything! I thought you'd stop counting! How am I supposed to know you're back yeah when they start a race that I go

three two one zero minus one minus two typically when they start a race the people are in the race or in front of each other and they can see each other yeah but we don't do races over the internet if you

if you could see me in real life you'd know that I was there waiting to race if I could see you in real life I would be dis a fucking pointed because I facetimed with you earlier today and you had a ponytail well we're gonna No, I was there waiting to race. If I could see you in real life, I would be dis-a-fucking-pointed because I FaceTimed with you earlier today and you had a ponytail. What, am I going to just have hair in front of my eyes?

Yes. Or cut your dirty, stringy hair, Gavin. It's very clean, actually. That's fair. Ponytail. We went places. I wash my hair every day and I got told that you're not supposed to do that. With human shampoo?

I think it depends on your hair, actually. Some people are supposed to. Most people not. I've always just done everything every day. Seems like the easiest schedule. Same here, buddy. Start at the top, work your way down. First thing in the morning, done.

Rinse, repeat every day until you die. Which episode is this? This is episode 46 of F*** Face, a podcast about you two idiots doing dumb stuff. And I watch. Eric said washing your hair every day is too much. Oh, so you're one of them. It's not. It's not. It depends on who you are.

If you're a greasy, greasy-headed person like me, you gotta wash it every day. How often should you wash? Is it just literally by... Like, how often do you wash your hair? Typically every other day or every third day. I rinse it every two or three days okay wash don't always use yeah that seems like a lot three days i'm not i'm not like a super greasy guy you know i'm not like jeff i will say uh my girlfriend doesn't wash her hair every day but i think that's common uh with women

with lots of hair because it's like a two-hour process. It's like a whole fucking thing. Just to clarify, when we say wash, we mean use product, not like you're not showering for three days. I'll be honest, if I'm ever in the shower, I'm never going to not do my hair. Yeah, I've never rinsed off without soap. You know what I mean? Like when you say, oh,, I'm gonna go rinse off. I guess maybe if you like, if you like leave the ocean and then you go through the sand and

then you want to rinse off on that little thing to get the sand off before you get in your car. But in terms of like hopping into a shower to rinse off, I've never been in a shower and not taken a full shower in my life. I don't know how you take a half shower in your actual shower. Like what would the context even be for that? I guess you just run the water through your

hair is what Eric's saying. Okay. Is that a a half shower i still feel like that's a full shower i don't know i feel like there are terms there are classifications for this that are confusing while we're early in this episode are we gonna mention what you told me about in the week or is that too much information for this podcast oh i don't know i didn't plan on bringing that up it's kind of an uneventful thing would you call it eventful i don't think it would be eventful i don't think i think it's very eventful really i don't think it's eventful are we talking about the same thing i don't know what else we would be talking about are we talking about the same thing how about andrew doesn't think it's

eventful gavin does why don't you uh let me decide i'll be the tiebreaker should we say what the thing is on three to make sure we're both talking about the same thing? No, I feel like there's no way we're not talking about the same thing. We can if you want to. Do we do it on three? Who wants to do the countdown?

Are we, okay, Jeff, stop at the count. Don't just keep counting. Stop at the- Stop at, after one, we'll say it, and then you can stop counting. I don't think this is a fun story, Gavin. Okay. Three, two, one.

I was shitting blood. Negative one. Yeah, I don't think that's a fun story. Well, here's the reason why... Okay, so we should only talk about it if you want to. But when you were telling me on text, I'm pretty sure that you'd done this exact same thing last time you rolled your ankle.

No, I didn't. No? No, this has never happened before. That's why it was eventful. I thought that last time you rolled your ankle, you were ODing on the painkillers and you had like an anal fissure of some sort. No, Never happened.

What's going on with your butt, dude? Jeff, didn't he say that he had an anal fissure because he was taking too much? No, no, no. No, no, no. I think this is where the confusion was and we're gonna... Nick's about to chime in. He said he had something akin to that. Listen, Nick is the arbiter. He knows. What

happened is when I take one of the types of pills, I stop shitting. And so everything hardens up. And I took the hardest, like, widest shit I've ever taken. And it was, like, icy hot. It was on my asshole for, like, hours. And at first it was nice. It was, like, kind of this cool feeling.

Yeah. I didn't. There was no, like, fissure. I just. It was too much. It was, like, I squeezed something through that was too big and it fucked my asshole up for an evening. It wasn't fun.

But what happened this time? There was no fissure. I just, I was shitting blood for a few days. And why was that? Because I took too much ibuprofen. Why do you always take, your first thing to do, whenever you roll an ankle, you pull your back while sitting. This was a bad one.

You just take like a handful. No, no, no, no. You eat ibuprofen like it's, like they're Skittles. thing to do whenever you roll an ankle you pull your back while sitting this was a bad one you eat ibuprofen like it's like they're skittles no i was following the recommended thing the only thing i cut corners on was it said always take with a meal and i didn't always have a meal when i was taking it i the first time i took it i read the bottle it said take with a meal i had sour patch kids cherry blasters was the only thing around me i I was like, I guess this is a meal. I had a few of those. It's like the time where you were trying to cleanse your palate with water,

but you only had Gatorade. Yeah, sure. So I don't, no offense, but if you're taking, if you're taking ibuprofen, is it ibuprofen you said? If you take an ibuprofen at the recommended prescribed dose either by the

doctor or on the bottle taking it on an empty stomach isn't gonna make your asshole shoot blood out it's just gonna give you a tummy ache maybe i don't think that's where i don't think that's what i don't think it's like eat on a full stomach or anal leakage will occur i and i i don't think the sour patch kids caused it either i I think that that might be something you want to seek medical professional help for. We're all good now. It's fine now. Everything's good. It was just like two days.

Nothing sounds good. The thing that worried me was that you were asking me if I'd ever shit blood. And I was like, you know, it's happened. It's happened a few times. I've never done that. I had like an inflamed something at one point. That's fucking gross. that's when i had to put that wax pill up my ass and it shot out but then andrew was like i've he texted me he's like you ever done that i was like yeah he's like i just stopped shitting blood for three days i was like oh my god why did you tell me after three

days like what what if you just dropped dead tell me at the beginning of you shitting blood so i can keep an eye on you or wait till the podcast if you're gonna wait till after it's over at least wait till the podcast so you can get maximum effect i didn't plan on bringing it up on the podcast well apparently gavin did it uh yeah well i mean i didn't i didn't know when it would end i wasn't sure there was a possibility of like it could have went a few different ways and uh i felt the story had ended. So I felt comfortable talking about it at that point. Fucking whole thing going on over here. Well, you got some dog shit.

Well, Henry gets excited when it's time to record the podcast. I've I've learned that he thinks it's his job also. And what he started doing is when I'm I swear to christ when i start recording the podcast he goes and he finds a squeaky toy and then he brings it in and sits next to me and squeaks right and uh and so i hid all the fucking squeaky toys today just because i thought i thought about it ahead of time and then i made sure henry was taking a nap and right as we were starting henry sneaks in with one of the sneaky squeaky toys I found and then he goes over and he just drops it at me like, is it

okay? And so I picked it up and I put it on the thing and then he just stared at it the whole time while Andrew was telling his butt story. It looked like he was crying so I dropped it down on him and he jumped on it and knocked the table over. How did he get that? Anyway. What was really alarming about the only only like why i didn't say

also it was really it was like it was bad it was not bad but it was bad you don't expect to see blood when you wipe your ass jeff you will i hope not have this experience yeah so let me ask you a question all right because i want to understand what blood means right because i just told gavin that i've never bled from my anus and i definitely think that he's gross but uh i want to understand what blood means, right? Because I just told Gavin that I've never bled from my anus and I definitely think that he's gross. But I want to emphasize that. But I have like wiped too hard where you get like, you get like a little bit of pink, you know,

where you're like, oh, I rub my asshole too hard. Maybe I like a little bit of scrub. I just scrub some like, you know, surface level blood out. Right out now toilet paper I know yeah, is there blood like is it coming out of your out of your little hole? No, I described it to get out first of all I didn't realize it had happened until after the act was done, and I was going in for the wipe I described it to Gavin as is like the scene when John Voight gets shot on the bridge and missing a mission impossible

And you just look down at his hands and they're covered in blood. The whole sheet was just red. I was like, that is not... This isn't good and I didn't anticipate this. And, uh... Yeah, they falls over the...

That is the immediate image that went by head. I was just shocked to see this red sheet. It's the most surprising thing in the world. It's absolutely like a dreadful sight. I'm surprised that you've never had that, Jeff, because you've got all kinds of cloggage in your ass. Like I said, I have definitely wiped my,

wiped so hard that there's been like pink streaks, but I've never seen blood, blood anywhere near my butthole, even like from the colonoscopy and all my butthole diseases and stuff. I don't think I've ever, I mean, I've had some weird stuff come out, you know,

from like the medicines and stuff they take. It was never, it was never blood. It was like my, it was like my asshole was like an alleyway that murders kept happening on like twice a day. Like I couldn't tell the difference. But then I just like you'd review. You just like sweep the area.

Blood filled. It was no good. So when you look down and saw just I assume blood soaked paper. What did you say? Anything out loud? or were you just like i immediately went john voight was the first thing i thought and then i was just panic every time not really panic was like that was weird hope that doesn't happen again and then it happened again the next day i was like i need to look into this and uh and you did you did look into it i did

i'm surprised because usually you're an unverified wiper we've established this you're a vertical unverified wiper yeah well i mean when it's bright red it catches your eye when the like the sheet changes to a color unexpected i just don't want it to be one of those things where we think you're okay and then like in episode 75 you're like yeah you mentioned the time you had to get like a third of your colon removed or something. Sure. Oh yeah,

I remember that time I was, yeah, it turns out I had to get like six feet of colon taken out. No, I'm gonna get it checked out.

Okay. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna get it checked out, but I'm good. Okay, good. I have a few,

I have another toilet story. Jeff knows about this, Gavin doesn't. This is something I was gonna talk about that's toilet related. I had, I experienced, I think I took maybe the saddest image anyone has ever taken Gavin historically sad just a disappointing photo in every sense of the word yeah I'll share it I'll get there we got to build to it Saturday night Saturday night um this is

gonna be great I'm gonna relax'm going to have a great time. I bought two cupcakes from my favorite cupcake place in town. Two of them. My favorite flavor. This is going to be... What a time. What a treat. I grabbed the cupcakes.

Andrew, please, before you continue, I just have to say, I think it says a lot about the nature of the friendship you have with Gavin, the information you choose to share with him on a Saturday night, and our friendship, the information you choose to share with me on a Saturday night. I have no idea what that means, but you are definitely having two different conversations with your friends.

Which one is the better friendship, do you think, Jeff? Listen to find out. Well, I don't know why. I feel like Gavin is the butt blood guy for some reason in my head. You did say name something worse to drop than a cupcake. So I assumed you dropped one. So I get

my cupcakes. I put both of them in a bowl. What I like to do is I put them in a bowl. I mix them all up. I eat them. I eat them with a spoon like a cake. You are a freak. I know. It's delicious. He makes cupcake soup it's fucking no no no no no no no no no hear me out okay there's a reason for this i need the bowl if i'm not doing this i'm not gonna eat in the bowl but what i was gonna do is i put it in the bowl i mix it all up and then i'm gonna have a bath and i'm gonna eat the

cupcakes in a bath with a spoon it's gonna be so relaxing this is my saturday night I'm gonna have a bath. And I'm gonna eat the cupcakes in a bath with a spoon. It's gonna be so relaxing. This is my Saturday night. I'm gonna unwind. You can't keep saying these insane things. And then just keep going like it's normal. What are you on about? What's the problem? The bowl wasn't big enough.

Like it barely fit the two, but it was like, whatever, this is going to be a great night. So I get them in the bowl. I go to my bathroom. My toilet is level with my bathtub perfectly to the point where it's like a table. It's like a little table.

So if I'm going to eat, I have a little drink or snack in there. I'll put the glass or the bowl on top of the toilet seat. It's perfect. It's like, oh, it's wonderful I'm going to eat, I have a little drink or snack in there. I'll put the glass or the bowl on top of the toilet seat. It's perfect. It's like, oh, it's wonderful. Incredibly unhygienic. It gets dumber.

No, it's not. No, it's, how is it? First of all, how is it? Because it's in a container. There's poo in the air. There's poo everywhere, Gavin. We live in a filthy society. That's always your excuse.

All your excuses, there's poo everywhere in every room. But if you put poo in a toilet, it's everywhere in there. It's on the lid. excuses, there's poo everywhere in every room. But there's loads of poo in the toilet. It's everywhere in there. It's on the lid. I put it in a bowl. I put a bowl on the lid. It's in its own contained thing. Everything's fine.

That's not the issue, Gavin. The problem, Gavin, is that my toilet is broken. It exploded. The lid is off. It's on the floor in the corner. The seat that you sit on is also loose. I need like I can fix all these things, but it takes a moment to fix. I need to like rebolt everything down.

I don't feel like doing this. This is a relaxing cupcake time. I'm also going to be in there for a little bit. He knew it. He knew it was broken going in. He's done this before, Gavin. So he knew it he knew he knew it was broken going in he's done this before gavin so he knew the dangers he has no one to blame but himself here and i guarantee you the cleanup took longer than it would have to fix that fucking toilet seat no okay so this is i also forgot to mention i'm

gonna be there for a while so i'm bringing in a few items i'm bringing in my phone i'm bringing in my tablet and i'm bringing in my xbox headset because i just want to listen to stuff if i want to isolated so these are my items i got my cupcake bowl my tablet my phone and my headset someone please draw this for us andrew in the bathtub with his cupcake i'm just imagining andrew and still image one xbox headset one foot in the bath with just his arms wrapped around all these items trying to step into the bath slip it over sushi on the floor Cupcake in the bowl in the toilet keyboard in the bed going come back to bed My headset looks like one of those helicopter like pilot headsets. It's a big thing. It's not.

This isn't easy to move. So I get I put so I can't fix the toilet. So what I do is I stack the lid on top of the seat and like a cross formation. And I figure like that'll be good. That's fine. This will be level. Nothing. Nothing's going to move.

I place the cupcake bowl on the toilet. It's fine. Nothing happens. It's perfectly balanced balanced i climb into the bathtub i run the water halfway i grab my tablet from the top of the toilet move it to the side of the tub i then grab my headset and i try to place it on the little piece the little ceramic spot between where like the lid and the tank is you know what i mean that little area that's just like blank it's for like where the lid to go up to so on the top of the tank no no no on the lid

level like seat level there's a ceramic spot that's intended for like the base of the lid for it to go like where all the piss splash lands sure like a level spot yeah if you like where the butt dust and hair goes yeah whatever that's the spot i place the headset on there for a moment oh my god this creates momentum the lid the lid starts slowly rolling down the front of the toilet the seat is also just wiggling all around i can't do anything i'm put in a very stressful position, Gavin. I need to decide.

I have a choice to make. I can either drop my Xbox headset in the toilet and save my cupcakes. Or I can let the cupcakes fall. I had to make a choice I'm gonna put this in the chat. This is the saddest photo I've ever taken Bowl down icing down Absolutely ginormous bowl. I like that the bowl wasn't big enough. No, it's very, like the shape of it is like, it's not- Cupcakes the size of your head!

No, that's deceiving. It's like a vase! No, it's not. It's not. It's like a lampshade. It's an eight gallon bowl. I'm telling you- It's like a vat of cake.

The shape of cupcakes, it doesn't fit well. It barely fit the tip. The size of a fishbowl! It's not a vat of cake. The shape of cupcakes, it doesn't fit well. It barely fit the tip. The size of a fishbowl. It's not a bowl cake. Well, it's good for the mixing. It's like the shape of it, it stays in the middle, but it fell. So now that you've heard that story, Gav, what do you think?

Who's got the better deal between you and I? Oh, I don't know. That is an infuriating story. Because every week I'm here saying, I'm imagining you living in a filthy, disgusting mess. And every week you tell me, no, it's fine. It's very, you know, there's a lot of cleanliness going on. Load of old shit, Andrew.

I don't even know where to start with some of these things. Dude want to know something even even sadder real fast before we do that when andrew sent me this story or told me the story my girlfriend and i got on uber eats and we scoured vancouver island for cupcakes to send to them as a replacement cupcake there was no option available from like saturday to i want to say like Tuesday or Wednesday. They were like all the cupcake places are shut the fuck down right now. That's a great point that Jeff makes. Jeff suggested go get some new cupcakes. I thought, you know what?

I could get I could do that. Possibly. It's only seven o'clock. It's probably closed, but I'll check. I looked them up. They closed at four on Saturday. They would not open again until Wednesday afternoon. I was the furthest point from getting new cupcakes, essentially, from this place. Dreadful. The worst time for this accident to happen.

Well, it's landed face down perfectly, it seems. But if you lifted the bowl up, would the top of that pile be edible? Well, here's the thing, Gavin. I i was in the tub it was half filled with water i just looked at it i took the photo and i thought i i'm not capable of dealing with this at this time that bowl laid like it did for the next two hours it just stayed there two hour down bowl i got out of the tub i did everything else first before I dealt with the bowl. Is the bowl fine? Yeah, the bowl's fine. Bowl had no issue? No, no chips, nothing. It's all

bowl is all good. Bowl is great. It luckily landed, if you notice, it landed largely on the towel. So it was very easy to pick up. It didn't really stick. I don't know if the two hours like re-hardened like it separated, like the icing on the towel divided from the thing. It was a very clean, easy cleanup

to do. Oh, dude, today's Wednesday. It is Wednesday. Are you going to get replacement cupcakes? Oh, shit. That's a great point. I didn't even consider that. I should. I'll do that. You've got three hours before they close, right? Yeah, I know. We're fine. I'll got three hours before they close right yeah get to it yeah no we're fine i'll i'll get three hours now the question did i eat the cupcakes is the big question i don't think you did did you you don't think i did gavin what do you think oh you you certainly did yeah oh absolutely the cupcakes yeah you cut the top off and you ate you ate the underneath of the top yeah yeah yeah i i i got rid of the icing you ate a two hour old floor cupcake bathroom floor cupcake bathroom floor cupcake and you took the icing off which

is the best part it didn't really land on the floor it landed on a towel a towel on a bathroom floor is no cleaner than the floor well here's the thing it was a hand towel i'm not a hand towel guy i don't really use hand towels can we have a i'm not a blank guy socks hand towels meatballs jesus need that the full list so i had to do like a whole thing of like well where did that hand towel come from and what did i didn't really think about it until after i cleaned up i think soap with that hand towel i I think that was a soap. I knocked over a soap dispenser, and the soap spilled everywhere,

and I think I used that to collect the soap, I believe. You knock stuff... I just need to... I want to live with you for a month, just to watch. I'll be completely unintrusive. I'll just sit in the corner. I just want to watch. To clarify, Gavin,

the soap dispenser fell when i also knocked down the sushi lid that eventually took me out it was all part of the same collapse this was not several collapses this is one act was that different to the cabinet the cabinet which was the cat was i don't know there was a cabinet that was knocked over before yeah oh yeah causing a shimmy that that would have been no yeah that was a different time the cabinet was a different time but that those are the two main ones. I will say, Gav, both of our stories

were toilet-centric, at least. Mm-hmm. Well, it's because he lives in there. He has everything he needs in the bathroom. How are any stories supposed to happen anywhere else?

I don't have a waffle maker on my end table anymore. That's a good thing, right? I moved it to the kitchen. I've got two. I've got one in my closet, unopened, and I have one in my kitchen now. How the fuck are you going to make waffles now? Are you going to go all the way to your kitchen and make waffles?

I know. I've got to go all the way. Yeah, I know. I'm a ridiculous human being. It was somebody on the subreddit created a list of information regarding my room and trying to piece together a scene scene like was a crime scene just Based on what was said and one of the things was mentioning that I Pam on the table, and I was like that's ridiculous Oh, no, I still do it's still there the Pam is still there

I don't have the waffle maker, but I still have a Pam Pam container But the Keurig is still in there. Oh Keurig is still in there. Yeah. Yeah Keurig is still doing good. It's great insane Oh, Keurig is still in there. Yeah. Yeah, Keurig is still doing good. It's great. Insane. We all chew gum.

I assume. I have no data to support that. It's one of those old adages. Is it? I don't know. But not all gum is created equal. That I do know. Some might come in fancy packaging, but they only cover up bad breath.

Others are loaded with sugar that can wreak havoc on your teeth. Luckily, the oral care experts at Quip have made a gum that stands out from the pack and one that can help prevent cavities. Back in the old days, people would say, are you brushing your teeth? Now they're going to say, are you chewing your teeth? Okay, good. It was only a few short years ago that Quip reinvented the toothbrush for the modern age. They've done it again, this time for chewing gum. Well, they've launched a new gum that's actually good for your oral health. And it comes with a dispenser that'll remind you of the one-click candy you loved as a kid, except it's good for your teeth, unlike most candy. It dispenses one piece of candy at a time. One at a time, dispenser. Click, click, click.

Quip gum can help prevent cavities and freshen breath when chewed for 20 minutes after eating. It's sugar-free and has tooth-friendly xylitol with zero calories. Mmm, xylitol. And to satisfy your taste buds, Quip added a long-lasting mint flavor crunchy tri-layer design and stamped it all with the classic quip tongue the slim travel ready dispenser available in five colors metal or plastic packs and protects up to 10 gum pieces at a time and

it fits into just about any purse or pocket for on the go and in a world where we all need to be extra safe and hygienic, the quick release button means you can still share with friends. No wrappers, hands, or hassles. Remember though, it's not a substitute for brushing and flossing, but it is a great support for your oral health. Pair it with a Quip electric toothbrush for kids and adults, refillable floss, and more great products. And if you go to getquip.com slash face right now, you can get a free plastic dispenser with any refill plan. That's a free dispenser at getquip.com slash face spelled G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash face. You can also find the Quip electric toothbrush, refillable floss, and more in the oral care aisle at your local Walmart. Quip, the good habits company.

I shop online all the time. Last night at about 1.30 in the morning, I was shopping online. It's true. I bought a standup paddle board. Who knows if I'll use it, but that's not the point. The point is we've all seen that promo code field taunt us when we go to checkouts.

But thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is now a thing of the past. Honey is the free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it finds to your cart. It supports over 30,000 stores online, which range from sites that have like tech and gaming products to fashion, food delivery, you name it. Here's how it works. Imagine you're shopping at one of your favorite sites, and when you go to check out, the Honey button drops down and all you do is click apply coupons. Wait a few seconds and it searches for coupons. It can find for that site on the internet. It's

like, and then if honey finds a working coupon, you'll watch the prices drop. Well, I just mentioned about a standup paddleboard that I may have bought. Uh, let's just say on a whim. Will I use it? Chances are pretty good I'll use it twice. Will I use it a third time? I wouldn't put my money on it. But what I did put my money on is Honey Savings when I got it. Honey has found us over 17 million members, over $2 billion in savings. If you don't already have Honey, you could be straight up missing out on free savings. It's literally free and it installs in a few seconds. And by getting it, you're doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast. Get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash face. That's

joinhoney.com slash face. Do you guys ever do, do you guys ever do like dumb little things where, with technology that you don't like like just i don't know how to describe it i did the dumbest little thing this morning and i'm still embarrassed about it and kind of mad at myself for and i don't i don't know what to do about it earlier today i was on my cell phone and i was reading reddit uh i was reading like a you know like a story off of reddit uh or the comments of a story off of Reddit. And you know how on an iPhone,

an email alert will come down, it'll swipe down from the top, and when it swiped down, it covered half of what I was reading, and I just out of the blue, without thinking at all, just my natural reaction was try to blow it away. And I did. I went and tried to blow away

the email alert on my fucking phone no i don't have ever done anything like that i know i've never blown at my phone i can't believe i did it i don't know no it was in my way and I tried to blow it out of the wind. Oh, that's going to be a feature. They could add that. If the mic detects like the gust of air, it should blow the notifications off the screen. It should, dude.

It's brilliant, right? It's way better. My stupidity should be an app. The fuck off app. Get rid of shit when you're trying to read. patented face app first face app right there the blood the fuck off app yeah my fucking screen i'm trying to read that's gonna be an app though you have to open the app to blow on it i don't know you just open the app and it runs in the background that anything i don't know that is incredibly stupid david or jeff i've I have one that's not that.

It's also cupcake related. Oh, I'd love to hear it. Also, it's like equally dumb. I had the cupcake photo on my tablet and my phone was in front of my tablet. I just woke up. I was going to take a photo on my phone. And so when I opened the photo app,

it immediately just was the cupcake photo. And I was very confused how my phone was able to see what was happening in my bathroom i was spooked by this for a good second and then i was like what is going on how's my phone camera in the bathroom and i moved my phone camera like a little bit and it was still just like different bathroom like it expanded because it was zoomed in on the pole i was like what's going on? I realized I'm an idiot. I just have that photo open on my tablet and that's what I'm looking at through my phone.

Is this podcast as a weekly event in our lives making us way dumber? I don't think it's making us dumber. I think it's just calling attention to something that's naturally happening in our lives. It's documenting our dumb. Yeah. That's the thing.

It's documenting the decline. Andrew, I do have to ask. Yeah. What is better about a mashed up bowl of cupcake are done yeah that's the thing i have documenting the decline andrew i do have to ask yeah what is better about a mashed up bowl of cupcake than eating a cupcake it's just i it's like it's the spoon is nice and like if you get a premium cupcake you know like there's stuff on the it's not just like all what would you call the material cake i guess obviously it's not all just pure cake there's like there's filling in it you just mix mix it all as good as a black forest cupcake.

You got some cherry in the center. It's kind of spread it around. It's great. You know, I just realized what was that? We're 30 something minutes into this fucking podcast today. And we've spent the entire time talking about bathrooms and toilets and shit going on in bathrooms. And nobody has asked at any point about the stupid port-a-potty

that I was threatened with. Oh yeah, what's the latest? If I've received it or not. Any of that nonsense. Which, by the way, the audience was like, is Andrew really shitting on Jeff for salad dressing a fucking bit right now?

Eat the pencil, Andrew. And I was like, oh yeah, that's a good point, audience. Thank you. There's two, mean it's there's a difference between eating a pencil and a 999 gift there's there those are two different things you've not asked at any point did i did i receive the port-a-potty is it did you receive the port-a-potty? Is it well? Tell me about the port-a-potty, Jeff. I will say, before you do quickly, I got panicky and thought you redirected it, and I was like, fuck, how can I?

Because you did, on the call, you changed the address. So I went back into your recording, and I analyzed to make sure all was good. You listened to Jeff's raw audio from last week? I listened to Jeff's raw audio for when he gave the person the address to confirm how about this how about this shit here uh you guys keep talking for a second i'll be back okay yeah it's a good point though because jeff was dodging this content but at no point did he take anyone to court and hire lawyers over it so uh

it's maybe considered less of a content dodge than the pencil. I mean, I feel like you're just explaining content. That was all content that came from that. If I just ate the pencil, that content doesn't exist. What do you mean? That's content. Well, no, I'm saying there's more content made from not taking it than if I would have just ate

the pencil, that would have been boring. People love yelling at me about eating the pencil. It's true. And I guess, I mean, after what you did with the salad cream, it probably would have been as people love yelling at me about eating the pets it's true and i guess i mean after what you did with the salad cream it probably would have been i still don't understand what was wrong with the salad cream i feel like i i lived up to what was requested i confirmed that it's decent do you really not understand what you did with the salad cream well i feel like the question you made a salad that doesn't exist that we can't oh i can't get into it again. Okay. All right. Can you guys hear me? Yes.

Yes, we can. How do I sound? It sounds a bit echoey, Jeff. Well, that's because I'm now recording from inside the port-a-potty. I'm imagining, like, just a still image of the front of your house with muffled speech coming out of a pink poor potty. Is it on the drive? Yeah. It's where my girlfriend parks.

I gotta be honest with you. I hate to admit it. Wow, yeah, it sounds like shit. But it's kind of growing on me in here. It's pretty spacious. It's a nice color pink it's very clean it's still got the plastic on can you take a selfie in there hold on a second i'm sending you guys a photo right now then i'll take a selfie it's just taking forever because

i'm outside you know and i don't want to do this for too long because i imagine the audio is pretty rough. Wow! That's a nice porta potty, Geoff! It looks so nice! Wow! What is that? What's that thing? The sink?

I think it's a urinal. I think he's got a little urinal in it. It's got a urinal in it. Wow! That's fantastic. This truly is the greatest gift I've given anybody. Look at how nice that is. It's got like a ventilation pipe like i'm coming up so i guess the poo smell doesn't go inside that's amazing you went all out andrew i did look at me so it's you're welcome

jeff andrew it's a lovely gift and and i and it's it's been kind of it's been kind of great right like off the bat. When the guy in the 18-wheeler delivered it and asked me why the fuck I had been avoiding them and dodging them, I had to explain to him that it was a prank. He totally got it. He got excited about it. He offered to buy it from me. So I have a $600 offer on the table.

How much? Hello? Can you guys hear me? It's cutting out a How much? Hello? Can you guys hear me? It's cutting out a little bit for me. Can you guys hear me? Yeah. Yeah, it's cutting out a little bit, but you're good. All right, hold on.

I'll just leave it. He didn't wire his phone for internet. He's walking out of his bed. You okay, Jeff? Is Jeff gone? How did he record that bit? I don't know. Oh. What the?

It's a portable studio. This is great. Did he flush the phone down the toilet? What the hell was that? I don't know. He's gone. He lost Jeff. Do you think you fell over on the...

No, no, no. I'm back. I'm back. It was obvious that we couldn't communicate, so I switched back to my house. Oh, that was so good. That was so good. What I was going to say is,

as soon as i explained to the guy that it was a prank which he thought was very cool for some reason uh he offered me 600 bucks like on the spot for it wow so you just shifted to him so i know i could have been like don't even take it off the truck just give me 600 in cash and move on with your life and it would have essentially been andrew wiring me $600 cash gift for, with a $400, with a $400 processing fee. That's even better money laundering than the Zimmer cards.

Oh my God. But instead I said, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, I took his number down so I can always sell it to him if I want to, but it's kind of grown on me. So here's what I'm thinking.

I'm thinking we take it to, I'm going to have John Mace pick it up, take it's kind of grown on me. So here's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking we take it to, I'm going to have John Mace pick it up, take it to Rooster Teeth. Maybe we turn it into a recording booth. Like I could line it with, uh, with acoustic foam. We can do something with it. I was even thinking we have an album in search of a purpose, right? Like we want to make this, the audience wants us to make a vinyl album. We don't know what to do. What if we get Wes, the Rooster Teeth photographer, who's's super talented too talented to work for us and we take the port-a-potty and we take it somewhere and we set it up somewhere majestic and like on a hill overlooking all of a nice vista this beautiful vista or something and we have wes take this

gorgeous picturesque photo and then we slap that on an album cover and we call it like face talking shit or like down chronicles flushing it or whatever yeah and then that's the and then that's the point of the album is it's either us recording from inside the porta potty or us just talking up shit about people or or something but then when we call it a pink album with like all kinds of cool stuff we could do. I love this idea, Jeff, and I'm so glad that you've pivoted to this direction because I was planning counterattacks

for your $600 idea, and I really like this direction more than what I had planned. Oh, I think I'm going to make way more money than the $600 if I do it this way. So have you shat in it yet or anything, or are you just gonna keep it clean no it's pristine dude as a matter of fact i it was like shrink wrapped i didn't open it up until

two hours ago could you like climb down the bog hole and like sit in there yeah i think i probably could oh that's that we've got to have a picture of your head poking out the toilet. That is, that's what I want. Okay. Yeah. I'll tell you what. It's never going to get any cleaner than it is now. Right. Why don't I, after the podcast is over, I'll hop out and I'll see if I can get in there.

You should film yourself trying to get in because that's going to be good. Okay. Yeah, I'll do that. Oh, what a great gift what expensive gift i gotta be honest andrew i was resistant to it uh just because of the size and i don't know what the fuck to do with it but it was it was a bit like a blessing in disguise hopefully not a trojan horse but a blessing in disguise that's what it feels like now oh yeah i'm genuine genuinely jealous. Dude, if we keep that nice, we could have that on the convention floor at RTX. Oh, absolutely.

People could come and sit in it, take a picture. 100%. You know what we could do? We could put it on the floor, and we could pump speakers into it, and we could have a little three-minute f***face episode, and the only way to hear it

is to go sit on the toilet, put the headphones, we're not even talking about headphones because that'd be gross, but just sit on the only way to hear it is to go sit on the toilet but the headphones we're not even that headphones because it'd be gross but just sit on the toilet and listen to it and then you get like a

little special face episode I think I think that's perfect the hardest thing is gonna be my dick not to shit in it oh right yeah that part we can bolt that down

we could yeah should I so the your original plan Jeff is now off the table you're not going to weaponize this and just drop it off at the other people who work on the show, their driveways? Well, I'd never say never. I also think that there's a lot of power in, I guess, creating more misery for those of you that work on the show with me. And I'm always open to do that. But my current sites are more aspirational

than that i see well i found out about your offer you talked about the 600 i was aware of that 600 bucks yeah that's a great deal so immediately i went into because i don't know if you remember i made hats at one time that i talked about making a profit off of and you were very against this idea so i immediately i was trying to think like well how could i screw up jeff's deal okay and my first thought was i could just fill the shitter with cement and make it extremely heavy and unmovable just make it as annoying as possible for you to do anything with the immovable toilet the immovable toilet that'd be pretty annoying yeah then i thought about like you could even tip it over and use it like a mold and just fill it all with cement

I came to the conclusion that would murder somebody that would fall on someone and they would die Cannot do that, but then I thought about at that time you said the hat was such a great item It was so magnificent. It was beautiful it belonged in a museum. I couldn't dare possibly sell it So I have been emailing essentially every museum in texas explaining the situation and seeing if any of them would take it as an exhibit and we're making progress we're finding i've gotten some replies i don't have a place yet but it's a possibility so i'm happy that we're going this other angle i don't think i'll continue to pursue the museum thing necessarily so it's a possibility. So I'm happy that we're going this other angle. I don't think I'll continue to pursue the museum thing necessarily.

It's always a nice backup, though. Yeah, it's good as a backup. Yeah, it's a great backup. You know, we need to maximize this porta potty. I was just thinking, like, what kind of could we make mini porta potties that we could sell? Like little pocket potties? Like a toy, you mean? What, like you shit in on the go?

No, it'd be more like a tchotchke right I don't want it like I don't I mean I guess we could do I mean you have a miniature port-a-pot like it's possible I sent you a mini port-a-pot. What's true you imagine how disgusting Real size human turd would look at a very tiny poor boy. Oh no like a man-sized poo Well isn't that no was that the opening shot of jackass too wasn't it like dave england shitting on a tiny toilet or something there was yeah and then yeah was it the third one where he shot the volcano i have a i have a question for everybody here.

I'm just curious. I asked this question to some other people. I was surprised by their answer. What is you order a pizza? Okay, this is the scenario. You get a pizza, you order it, you leave it on the counter, you leave it wherever you leave it. What is the longest you've gone back to eat a pizza,

piece of pizza that has been left out? Left out, like not put in the fridge just not put in the fridge is it wrapped in cellophane or anything or no it's just in the box it's in the box you've left it out not in the fridge it's just room am i heating it up or am i just grabbing it no you're just it doesn't whatever i think both are fine just how much time has it spent out what is the the longest gap you've got no more than than an hour. No more than an hour. I'm probably good for, I would say I would eat

a pizza that's been out on the counter for two or three hours, but no more than that. Two or three hours. Like 6 p.m., we got a pizza. At nine, I'm still hungry.

There's like one slice of pizza left on the counter. I'd probably still eat it, but I wouldn't go any later than that. I wouldn't go past bedtime. Nick said 12 hours. Eric said two days.

Oh, my God. Two days? Just unrefrigerated? That can't be great. That's got bacteria growing on it. That's not healthy. It's going to start shriveling. It'll be dehydrated.

It's like the botulism is making salmonella at that point. I asked this question. That's how COVID started. Yeah, maybe one hour is a little bit too harsh. Maybe, like, I'd push it to two, but i really want to have pizza for lunch and dinner again all right so andrew's clearly left us out for like a week and a half what have you done what have you done you disgusting animal i asked this question i blended it and put in a bowl i expected most people to be like eric like maybe three days two to three like, Eric, like maybe three days, two to three days.

Almost everyone was like, maybe I left it out overnight once and ate a slice in the morning. The longest duration, I would say, between leaving a pizza out and then going back to eat it is like 10 days, I want to say. What are you talking about, Andrew? That's why your asshole's bleeding. Yeah, you're going to get your liver's going to fail. Your kidneys are going to explode. No, no, no, no. Your body's fighting off contagions left and right because you're ingesting. This was months ago. Unrelated to what happened.

I wish you would have said years ago. Months ago? Ten days? It was probably like ten days. You can order something from China in less time! I could get something through the UK post-Brexit faster. Probably not. Nick said

it's become cardboard when it sits at that point. Yeah, but it was Little Caesar, so it was always cardboard. There's no going down. You're already at the bottom. Pizza jerky. Nah, it was not great. It was, listen, it was like 2.30 a.m. in the middle of the week. It was just, it was it was not great it was listen it was like 2 30 a.m in the middle of the week

it was just it was on my filing cabinet i had one piece left in a box it was just there and uh i was hungry what was on it uh just pepperoni it was a pepperoni slice well the pepper is probably fine because pepperoni's cured but oh god the fucking it was like eating a giant crouton It was a not flies laying eggs in that after like no no it was it was cuz they'd already had everything was contained At that point He's like I just waiting off the lava once that's gone I'm dry aging it Andrew no one is where did you go

to school why did no one teach you not to eat old old freaking food well no no no no I know you're not supposed to it was a rare yeah it was a rare time and it was a very small amount I was hungry why don't you just throw a hot dog in your closet and cook one up because I caused the fire alarm to go

off last time I did that and I'm very scared of using that machine ever since then. I need my fan blowing. It's a whole process. If I want to cook dogs in my room, I don't do it. We need to get you a freaking button. I can do it outside, actually. I've got a balcony.

That's actually a good idea. We need one of those life alert thingies around your neck from when you eat a three-week-old milkshake and your gut starts dissolving. I've never had a milkshake. That's not going to happen. Wait, what did you say? He hasn't had a milkshake.

Oh, come on. He had the milk allergy, didn't he? Yeah, the milk allergy. So he never had a milkshake. No longer applies somehow. Should I try... 7-Eleven has a Slurpacino. I haven't tried coffee since the last time on the show. That wasn't coffee. It wasn't coffee. Should Iven has a slurpicino i haven't tried coffee since the uh last time

that wasn't coffee it wasn't should i go for the slurpicino that's coffee and a slurpee that might be like the next step yeah pour it in the cake bowl that'll be perfect that'll be the milk to your weird cake cereal there's no milk in it apparently okay. Okay. So here's what it boils down to, Gavin. Andrew texts you on a random day, and it's about a bloody anus. Yeah. Andrew texts me, and it's he's sad because he dropped his food.

Mm-hmm. I don't understand how you choose to funnel information to people. It's just so weird. Like, where's the... I'm thinking about when you hack in Cyberpunk, and you're like... You know what I mean? Like, I don't understand. Or like the

pipes in Biohazard, when you're trying to put the pipes together. How does that information flow from A to B? You want to honestly answer that? There was a thought process to it. I thought, I haven't talked to Jeff in a few days. I miss Jeff. This is the thing that just happened in my life.

I'll talk to Jeff about it. I want to talk to Jeff. I didn't view it as show content at that time. It was just a thing that was happening. Yeah. And then you said, oh, this feels like show content. And I was like, I guess it is. I guess I'll talk about it on the show. That's why I talked to you about it.

Then I asked Jeff. Maybe that's where the filing cabinet comes in, is that it hits the Andrew newsroom, and then he has to file it into different like who's he gonna text this to that that is fair i will say in andrew's defense most of the time he texts me now i i respond with is this going to be content or could this be content and if so stop talking to me shut up we have a show to make. It is destroyed. Destroyed our friendship. It really has.

Gavin, I can't remember the last time I talked to you on the phone. Well, why would we? Yeah, I guess that's true. I guess that's true. I guess another. Oh, I got a we got a prototype for a product. We got a beef bracelet prototype. Somebody sent me.

What, someone else made it? Yeah, someone made it. It's not really a beef bracelet. There's a video of the making of. I wish they would have just taken a photo of it. But here's a link. They made a Slim Jim sunglasses. It's not quite a beef bracelet. We talked about a whole clothing line.

This was something that came out of the F bits email I've made which is doing very well 3d printer SLA printer it's like a little clip that you slip the the slim Jim into made by somebody who emailed in dude this is a hell of a setup it's a great setup it's got like a scientist I don't even know it is stuff it look at all the different gloves he's got. Oh, look at that. Automatically lowering. That's fucking, that's nice. I want that and I don't even know what it is.

Yeah. Is it like setting it, like sealing it somehow? I believe so. Oh, I love it. Look at him go. I mean, I think the bracelet's better, but it's not like we can't, they both can't exist. No, yeah. I mean, we talked about doing a whole clothing but it's not like we can't, they both can't exist. No, yeah. I mean, we talked about doing a whole clothing line.

Oh, this kid's a genius. Now he's water cutting some aluminum. Oh, yeah. You're going. Gavin didn't fast forward like I did. He's watching the whole video. Should I not? No, that's fine. Go for it.

It's a good video. It's a great video. Yeah. So was this my suggestion of having the Slim Jims in the glasses? I don't know. If you want it to be, take credit for it. Who cares? Yeah, you could own it. Sure. Of course. That's pretty much exactly what I imagined.

Yeah? Wow. You got the face logo on it. Yeah. It's great. I made that bits email. There are so many remarkably talented people in ways that I don't even know how we'll use, but it's amazing. I've been amazed at some of the stuff

people have latched onto. The audience, first off, we talked about it earlier, they love the idea of us making an album. Maybe we'll make the Pink album, maybe it'll be something else. They also, they absolutely fucking love all of the crazy different ways that you can come up with to put meat on stuff.

That's awesome. I'm amazed at how they've latched onto that they're they're brilliant also the nft going stronger than ever i checked on it today the lady or the person that bought it uh they put it up for sale for you know i sold it for one tenth of one dollar e dollar whatever whatever the fuck it is ethereum somebody offered her one uh 0.175 for it which is a 0.075 increase she has not accepted that offer it sat there alone for like two weeks just the other day somebody offered 0.176 for it so that's one thousandth of a dollar more, I think. So it's picking up. But Ethereum isn't a dollar. No, it's two grand or whatever. No, I don't think it's that bad. But maybe. I don't know. Anyway, speaking of like ridiculously talented audience members and community members, I have been meaning to mention for a while

that we got contacted a while back by a person who actually works at uh one of the people that one of the companies that makes trading cards baseball cards basketball cards the company panini and sent us some of their designs and some of the cards that which are just phenomenal and i can share them with you guys uh this person named jody uh i don't know if they want me to read the article read the letter or not so I won't but they did say to tell Andrew to eat the pencil and they sent along like three four five six cards that they designed wow from like Dan like Dan Marino John Moran like that's what literally they are a baseball card artist and they design baseball cards which is like the coolest job yeah in existence I wasn't aware and anyway I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that.

Thanks for reaching out, Jody. And let it be said from this point on that face Jody is the probably the preeminent card designer on Earth. Probably, I would say the Van Gogh, if you will, of of baseball card and basketball card design. if you will, of baseball card and basketball card design. And so it's really cool that the greatest living card artist reached out to us. Appreciate that. That's awesome. You know what's crazy about that?

We made those bats. We didn't know how they would do. We just made the 50. Obviously, I was miserable burning them all. And they sold out like in a couple seconds. Like it was pretty much instant. That was cool. So when we made the next round of bats,

we made six times the amount of bats that we made the first time, figuring that might be enough. And they once again sold out instantly. So the next thing we make, we're going to have to, I'll try to make sure that we, I don't know know we create enough

of it for the demand but i guess that's the question too like where do we go we have the original burned bats we now have the the black bat with the card is next the bat knob yeah i think we go a thousand knobs a thousand knobs a thousand knobs yeah i think a thousand knobs is a nice little uh i was afraid it'd say a thousand knobs. It's a nice name for a drop, isn't it? The thousand knob drop? Yeah, I like that. Here's what I was going to say.

Okay. I've been working with Merch for a while. They cannot find a source to make only bat knobs. It's just not a thing that's done in 2021 however it has been discussed i'm gonna hate i really fucking hate that i'm i'm offering this but i want to provide the audience with their goddamn bat knobs right and i i i refuse to accept that we can't market and sell a product that our audience is desirous of. Dare I say it, demanding of.

So I mentioned to them that if we were to get a couple hundred bat knobs, or a couple hundred bats, just get our hands on a couple hundred custom-made bats, I would be willing to buy a saw and saw them off, and then I guess I would need to sand the ends smooth. And then like, that's the way we could get to the five. I was going to say 500, but you said a thousand,

which seems like way too much. But like, I just don't know what else to do. I like that idea. I don't want to personally make 500 bat knobs, but I don't know how else we're going to get there. Are they mini bats again? Are they knobs for mini bats? No, I think these

knobs would be full size, right? So what are you gonna do with a thousand most of a bat that's left over? That's a great fucking question, Gavin. I don't know. That's another thing. We would have to determine what do we do with knobless bats? Maybe you could wallpaper a room with them

or something cool. Or we turn them into maybe we can figure out a way to, you know, sell them to the audience. It's something too. Like world's biggest toothpick. Yeah. Or a deck chair made out of 16 bats.

Yeah. Or the vampire stakes. Yeah. Oh yeah. That works. I don't know. So that's going to be way worse than you signing the tip of a bat. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't. Well, okay. In my head, in my head, it's not. You're going to be way worse than you signing the tip of a bat. I don't know. I don't. Well, okay. In my head, it's not. You're going to need to. You're going to definitely need a big fat bench and an electric saw. You're not going to do that by hand anytime soon.

No, I would need a chop saw. Here's the way I'm thinking. I get a chop saw. I put it on my workbench. I dial in. I get everything set up right. I just take the knobs, the bats. I stick it in. I need to make a knob guide

zoop knock it up put a new one zoop I do that a thousand times that seems easy and then I get a belt sander and then I just sand the edges

so that there's no splinters or anything and do you think anyone on earth would have wrecked that many bats no you might have a world record

if you do that do you have any idea what a thousand bats is going to look like? No. We can't do a thousand. A load of pallets. No.

Well, you know what happens when you only put up a few hundred. They're gone within one minute. Less than one minute. That's true. Let's sell something that is on the site

for more than a minute. Okay. Well, come over and help me make fucking knobs then. But I didn't say we should go. Yeah, very quiet. That was all you.

You guys have been wanting knobs forever. I'm trying to make, I'm trying to come up with a solution for the audience. I don't want to make the fucking things, but nobody else on earth is going to do it for us. Well, here's the thing. Here's the way I see it. Eric is a producer, and that means to make something. I'm not doing that. You can just move on.

We're at the end. I was typing out that we're at the end of the episode, so we don't even need to get, we don't even need to broach the subject of me doing anything with the bats. Huge waste of time. Not even content. Not even going to begin to go there.

So you could, you just go to like the next, go to like, hey, how can we make Andrew do it? Just go to like the next person. Eric is in almost every episode and he is yet to have to burden these signatures or burnings or bat creations so i think it's eric's turn for the thousand knobs all right sounds like it's settled andrew are you still there yeah no i'm here i just uh there's another way i would love to help jeff if i was in texas i would help you with those bad knobs well it's maybe the audience will chime in i would say maybe the audience will chime in

and say you know what je, don't worry about it. We don't want the knobs that bad. Just make a new t-shirt or something. They'll let me off the hook. The great thing about this, though, is if you do them by, if you eyeball them, every knob will be a slightly different length. And I think that's a great point.

It's like a fingerprint, like a snowflake. Yeah, that's great. That's a great point, Gavin. I wonder how the knobs will change over time like will knob 2 be vastly different from knob 806 that was certainly the case with burning the numbers so i would assume that by like 700 i will have i'll have it down if if could we sell the broken bats no how'd this work i was thinking like it'd be if you bought a knob you can then buy a broken bat and you'd have to try to hope to match the bat with the

not like a real cinderella everyone at rtx could bring their knobs and bats and try and match up like where which knob was from which that? That's a great idea. Be like the world puzzle. We'll sell knobs, and then a month later, we'll sell knobless bats. If you didn't get a knob, buy the bat it came from. Oh, this is so stupid. Well, anyway, I got to go crawl in a toilet, so you guys have a good day. Thanks for listening.

Like and subscribe. Do a review. Tell a friend. All that shit. This has been F*** Face. See you next week! Bye! Bye!