F**kface - A Pickle in Austin // Anal Passage Dot Com [131]

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gurpler chugging, excited to record, Pink Panther, Gavin's clip from Pizza Day, climbing anal mountain, jetski owners, Cosmic Crisp reaches out, Andrew's paintball gun, a seaplane, the soccer clip, a snake draft, fall Falls, and deep lore about stuffing recipes. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail]  Sponsored by Hello Tushy http://hellotushy.com/face, ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/face, and Dad Grass http://dadgrass.com/face. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. I believe this is episode 131 of the fifth season. However, Eric said that the number doesn't really matter earlier for some reason, but we can say it at the beginning if we want to.

I wanted to. With me, as always, Gavin and Andrew. How are you guys doing? Hello. I'm great. I need to make a clarification, first off, immediately. Do you need to make another rubbish apology? Hello? I'm great. I need to make a clarification. First off, immediately. Do you need to make another rubbish apology?

No, I don't. You do, actually. No, I don't. But I'm good. Yeah, you do. So what happened? No. Last episode, he trashed a bunch. Listen, this is my...

You little rubbish bin. No, listen. This is something else. Completely unrelated. I said that to celebrate the launch of the Gerpler, I would chug a thing of Bovril. I let people pick what I would chug out of the Gerpler. And I said I'd do Bovril because that was the number one voted item. I do not currently have access to the Gerpler.

So this will be the next recording. I would do that. I just need to do a little bit of housekeeping. And now it's free to take it wherever you guys want. Just so you know, it's not the next recording we're recording to today, so it'll be. Yes. Weeks.

So, yes. Thank you, Eric. Where's your Gerbler? It's in the mail. Oh, OK. You haven't got it yet. Dude, can I? I got to say, I filmed a little video

on the Gerbler launch day of me like chugging a drink. I didn't realize that Gerbler is dangerous. It's got, I have the cups Jack stole from the pizza restaurant for me for my birthday. And those are like normal size. And that's what I've been kind of living out of. I started drinking the Gerbler. I drank an entire Diet Pepsi in one gulp

without even realizing it. That mouth is so wide. It just funnels. Like it's great responsibility and great power. Be careful when you wield the power of the GURP. So is your drinking speed limited by the diameter

of the opening of the receptacle? I didn't realize it until the GURPLER, but yes. Really? Probably not most people. I'd be fucked. I should probably be a dog. I should probably only drink out of bowls. Anyway, I imagine most people are civilized,

but if you're like me, all of my civilized eating and drinking habits got ruined in the army by people yelling at me to speed up. And I never fixed that. I became an animal in the military. I think most people probably do when it comes to eating and drinking because of the way they make you do it.

So, yeah, I'm only limited by the by the by the angle of my of my opening, I guess. So if you're like me and you're a degenerate who is in the military, be careful with the Gerbler. If you're a normal person, you're probably fine. Good to know. I'd so fascinated. I didn't realize that the size of the glass would impact the chuck it's a really really good discovery to have i uh i have a couple little discoveries that i want to talk about with you

guys uh over the course of the next two episodes by the way i feel like i am talking a mile a fucking minute i are you so excited? I am so goddamn excited. I realized that about 2.15 I was just pacing around my house going from room to room just like looking at clocks and like fucking like tapping my legs and I couldn't slow down. I have

no, I don't know why because I don't particularly enjoy you guys, but I have been so excited to record today, like on fucking fire to record today i guess it's because we haven't we all haven't talked in a while but yeah that always happens to me when it when we've had a gap how long has it been two weeks yeah two weeks two weeks god three yeah i feel i feel like one of those cars with uh like one of those little matchbox cars where you like you wind the wheel back a bunch,

you drop it and it fucking takes off. I feel like I'm just like spinning in my seat right now. Andrew tweeted something terrifying. What? Oh, well, have you found it yet? And then he texts me saying,

have you found it yet? I was just curious. What is this? Well, he tweeted, he tweeted a, he tweeted a picture of a pickle in Austin. By that mural of Austin.

So he's got one of his. You want me to drop in the Discord? You want to drop in the Discord? If you've got it, you should post it. I absolutely have. Got one of his little cronies to take a picture with a pickle. And then he texts me, did you find it yet? And I haven't found it.

And that's honestly scarier where is it first of all i think it's hilarious you think it's one of my cronies second of all i can't believe you haven't found it yet you don't think it's me definitely not why i don't think it's you either that's great why do you not think it's me because you don't come here you refuse okay that's funny i'm just shocked you don't come here. You refuse. Okay. That's funny. I'm just shocked you haven't found it. Have you looked, like, extensively?

Uh, where should I be looking? Like, in the room? On the front porch? In the lawn? Well, you know. What, am I going to be just snooping around like a crazy person? No, there's multiple places you can look. Well, you kind of know where I said I would leave it,

so you can narrow it down a little bit. Wait, what did you say? Like where the doorstep? Yeah, the doorstep was the rule within regulation of there. Who's to say there's only one cucumber? You could be sitting on one right now. There could be one on your monitor. Let me check.

No. I mean, I'm checking because I wouldn't put it past you. No. But you do this thing where you I wouldn't put it past you. No. But you do this thing where you're so vague, and you just do little proddy questions, and it makes me want to curl up. It's very funny that you don't think I'm there. That's great.

As if you could barely get a set-up going in your home, in your room, where you live. Can you imagine you pulling together a face recording set up in Austin? I can. Andrew, it takes you so long to get from your little island to us that if you got on your boat with the minute we stopped recording the last episode, I still don't think you'd be here. That's fair. That's totally fair.

I'm just I'm surprised he hasn't found it. I was curious how long it would take Gavin to go into this paranoid cucumber situation. I'm glad we got into it immediately. Let me know when you find it. Stop thinking about it. What do you mean? It's there. I mean, it's probably going to start going bad.

It's there. It's not. It is. Where? I told you. It's not there. Should he go look at this front porch right now, Andrew? Is that what you're saying?

I mean, he can. I don't know. You know, could be hidden. Maybe I painted it. You don't. There's a lot of options. It could be camouflaged and you don't even see it. There could be a little light on top of it.

Like one of those fish distracting you away. So it's an angler fish. It could be. Cucumber. It could be all sorts of things i could go and check now you could if you wanted to it'd be funny if you did you go on my phone i envision i envision do you guys ever watch the pink panther remakes with steve martin and john renault they're pretty funny they're pretty funny but they would do this thing where they would blend into the background of a wall by wearing a body suit that exactly matched the wall i can just see like a brick or wooden shaped body suit around a fucking cucumber just leaned up

against step i got detention and i i don't know what year that would have been like maybe grade four or grade five because my mom is like a special like lunch thing included some gifts in my lunch. And one of them was the pink Panther, the movie book. And I don't remember if it was like details about the book, but there were photos from the movie in the book. And one of those photos was the wall thing.

And I could not stop laughing at it. It's like, I couldn't, I was laughing so goddamn hard and I couldn't put it away. I just kept every page. I flip every photo would kill me more. I had this massive giggling fit and I got the tension because I was laughing so goddamn hard, and I couldn't put it away. I just kept every page I flipped. Every photo would kill me more. I had this massive giggling fit, and I got detention

because I was disrupting the class because I couldn't stop laughing at that specific image. I can't believe you got in trouble. You got detention at a movie you'd never seen before. I don't think I'd seen it yet. I either had seen it or it was coming out, and it was like a promotional book for it. They're surely not better than the Peter Sellers ones.

No. No. No, but nobody said that. Okay, I'm just checking. I've never seen the new ones. I haven't seen them since they came out, but you've unlocked a memory, Jeff, of me in class just laughing at that fucking book.

Oh, I'm glad to help. I'm trying to fucking post a picture. Eric, no, I didn't check. I'm going to go check now. Is it too big, Jeff? Is that why you can't post the photo? No, I'm just an idiot. It's fucking tiny.

It's too small? That would be an interesting dilemma. What if there's a range? Is it related to our conversation or is this setting up a new direction no it's just a picture of jean-maul and i see steve martin in the uh in the bodysuit let me see if it's the exact photo they used in the 403 forbidden is what happens when i click that are you fucking serious yes for me here uh doesn't work me. You got that secret pink Panther access. I'm gonna recreate it

Yeah, I'd love to see you recreate. I mean I mean take a screenshot although that is an idea I had I wanted to talk to you guys about which is us getting take trying to seriously recreate like iconic sports photos nothing new Okay, interesting Here we go. Is that is that interesting yeah it is I can't believe you haven't found it oh it's not the same photo but that's a great one yeah the one in the book

was them like literally hugging the wall yeah I couldn't find that one for some reason so Jean Reno is great what a fantastic actor he's the best he's fucking talk about versatility yeah oh he's incredible best he's he's fucking that talk about versatility yeah oh it's incredible i love him godzilla professional mission impossible wasabi it's a great action movie of him the fucking pink panther movies he's fucking amazing in leon i guess you already said

yeah he did i have a i have a clip oh have a clip? Is it me saying trash? No. Oh, fuck. I just said it. Would you mind go ahead and apologize for that one and then just while you're at it, apologize for last week too, please. Apologize for last week outside of saying trash multiple times? Well, I definitely have said it two more times. You said it again.

Here, yeah. But I've already passed the limit. I guess I was saying trash can, right? Because I was frustrated with Gavin questioning my sneakiness. Oh, Gavin is live, which is terrifying. He was questioning my sneakiness, so I said I'd steal his trash cans. So I guess I have to do something now? I have to start the marathon?

Okay, can you hear my audio? Let's see. When you're on my stream? Oh, no. Maybe. I don't hear anything yet. Are you playing audio? Let me just start playing.

Let's see if you can hear this. Yep. Yeah. You got that? Yeah. Yeah, I got it. All right, here's my clip. It's...

How long is this? Oh, it's about a minute and a half. Oh. Here we go. You ready? Everyone ready? Yeah. Yeah.

Yep. I guess we all didn't realize what we were making when he pulled out all the mic equipment. What do you mean, we all didn't- are you saying you didn't realize and you're saying we all didn't realize? That was confusion when you brought out all the XLR cables and real mics. I think you were confused. Is that what you mean? There's no way Geoff wasn't also confused. Hi welcome to F*** Face Cooks the. Hi, welcome to the supplementary episode of F*** Face. We've gotten together at Jeff's house to cook these pizzas.

It's how you set the scene. But this is like 20 minutes into the pizza video, isn't it? Is this a separate thing? Are we not releasing audio of this? As an audio podcast? No! Are you for real? See, this is why he produces.

It's an audio podcast! I mean, I remember there being a conversation about that equipment coming to the episode. I mean, I think we went over that at the time. But that's fine. I thought we were really... That's fine. Doesn't matter.

Gavin, what can I do in the future? What can I do in the future to help you? Eric, this is not a you problem. This is a me problem. But I think it was also a Jeff problem briefly. Yeah, but if it was, I rolled with the punches very quickly. I like the way you've posed this where you went, yeah, and then you brought out the equipment and we were all kicked.

That's my clip. That's a fantastic clip. That's a great clip. I don't need to listen to it again. No more, please. Once is enough. That's a great clip, Gavin. I mean, I was just vibing in the moment. Everybody starts to go,

oh, you jump in, right trying i'm trying to make you feel less uncomfortable because i can see you're about to crash the plane you know uh or it's entirely possible i'm just a lying hypocrite i don't know one of them's funnier uh that is uh the other audio you were hearing, if it hasn't come out yet, is from our pizza video, which isn't out yet. No, I don't think the pizza video will be out. I think Nick is still in the process of editing that.

Nick, is that great? Yes, he's in the middle of editing that right now. I don't know if you know, it's hefty. Even with Emily stopping recording in the middle, there's still quite a bit. Emily pulled an action Bronson there. That was awesome. If there was any bit from that day to film,

it was the bit that she stopped filming for. But I finished my cut of the process, the making of the pizza, that's on Google Drive, for notes. Oh, pizza. That's on Google Drive for notes. Oh, great. That's awesome. Yeah, I'll say,

and I was going to, I figured we would talk about this more in depth during sausage talk tomorrow because I believe, God, there's so much going on. We're doing office day tomorrow. It'll be our third office day and we're going to record, I think, a sausage talk.

And then we were talking about one or two pieces of supplemental content as well. Andrew, you wanted to record, I think, a sausage talk. And then we were talking about one or two pieces of supplemental content as well. Andrew, you wanted to do, well, just briefly, just to be something to look forward to. We wanted to do like an end of the year wrap up where we talk about like our favorite things from the year, which I thought was a bad idea. And I wasn't into until I started coming up with my favorite stuff of the year. And then I got quite. You said you said there is nothing worth mentioning for this year as far as good things happening to you on the year you got

fucking engaged you got engaged like two weeks ago listen i got engaged i got engaged that was number one number two we'll get we'll get into it tomorrow there was good there were good things about 2022 but it was largely a dog shit year that's's fair. And not the least of which because two of my dogs died this year. When I say died, I realize how fucking like how on the nose that dog shit comment was. But then again, I haven't been covered in dog shit in 11 months. So I guess that is kind of a nice side effect, which is the first time I could say that in like five years. Yeah, you had a significant bike crash as well this year? Oh, dude, I had the jock itch for six months.

My daughter's surgery was so fucking... I had the fucking gum thing. I got COVID. I had three vacations canceled because of fucking illnesses and shit. It was like, it was just one thing after another. You,

you stood me up. Dude, I got fucking three car, two car crashes this year. It was never ending. Never fucking ending. But anyway, so we're going to cover like best of the year tomorrow.

And then I think we're going to do this ladder tournament idea of funny clips that Andrew has that we're going to try. So we've got that coming tomorrow. I bring that up because in the last episode, I think there was some confusion. We thought maybe the monkey or pizza video would be out already. And the audience was wondering if they missed it or not. It's not the case. It's just the reality of having to record around holidays and vacations is that we have to batch record in advance and when we do that sometimes we miss the mark on when stuff's

going to get edited uh we were talking about two videos as if they were both out and as if they were both out yeah but that's also a side effect of us loving and prioritizing F*** Face to such a degree in the last few months that we have been knocking ancillary content out of the park. We've been filming stuff left and right, which is, and there's still only one Nick, you know?

And so, you know, we wanted Nick to, obviously Nick wanted to have a Thanksgiving as well, and so stuff's just going to take a little longer as well and uh so uh stuff's just going to take a little longer to come out because you know we're we're creating more shit and i don't think that's who even knows how much stuff will schedule in march of 2023 that won't be recorded until october there could be so many things that's an excellent point oh also i should

mention kelly edits for us too i don't want to leave Kelly out. Very true. Yeah. Uh, although Eric says monkey movie is out by the time this is, yes, monkey. We're recording on Thursday. Monkey movie comes out tomorrow for first,

but by the time this is out, monkey movies out. So you can go check it out. Go. You get, you get two pieces of content staggered and release. If that matters to you in some way. First,

it will be Andrew's, uh,point presentation complete with banana wipe and then you'll get the watch along of mvp2 a movie that is about ice hockey and apparently skateboarding so uh check them both out they're out now on rooster teeth wherever you get podcasts but you should probably go on like the youtube because you can sync it up go on our youtube and then after that as much as uh i thought it was going to be one video we have two pizza videos coming up two pizza videos well you just listed a list of terrible things that happened to you this year jeff could i could i make a maybe a possibly late

entry into a favorite thing of the year for you? Something I've been working on in the last few days? Yeah, but is that something that we should do now or do we do it tomorrow in the episode? No, no, it'll be now. It needs to be placed now for you to consider it for tomorrow. I don't know if it'll make the list. Oh, I see. So I've been, I was curious because we're at the

end of the year and one of my favorite bits of the year that the audience that we really have to credit them as well as gavin's inability to see is anal passage becoming the number one selling shirt in the store which is just absurd it's hilarious to me the concept that there would be meetings with like professional people that are so far away from us that like don't understand or like have any context for face having to look at charts where face anal passage is number one like you can't ignore it like it has to be there just kills me it makes me laugh so it's great it's genuinely one of my favorite things of the year uh and so i was curious because

i hadn't checked in in a while so i reached out to the merch department to make sure that we were still number one and sadly we have fallen to number two. It is the number two selling shirt by a little bit. So I've been trying to reignite the Anal Passage brand to kind of close out the year and hopefully get us back on top of that Anal Passage pyramid. So I did some research. I did some digging. You can climb that Anal Mountain.

I climbed that Anal Mountain and I made something. It's the first step in bringing the brand back to the top of anal mountain, where it deserves to be. Jeff, let me introduce you to analpassage.com, a new website for a serious brand for serious people. Oh my, good God. He looks like a serial killer.

Top 10 passages. So yeah, so we've done a few things on this site. As you can see, open it. Wonderful Jack's face on it. Welcome to Anal Passage. It's available, obviously, to anyone listening. You can go on analpassage.com. We got the home.

We got the FAQ. We got the top 10 passages. We got more. Where are you at, Gavin? You're at the top 10 passages? I'm at the top 10 passages. We got more. Where are you at? Do you have, and you're at the top 10 passages, the top 10, just 10 famous passages. Let's open up the top 10 passages.

I don't think there's any dispute. Such as Brooklyn bridge in Brooklyn and rainbow bridge in Asgard. Well, you're skipping number one. Kevin McAllister's zip line. Kevin McAllister's zip line is maybe my favorite passage of all time. Where'd you get that from? What do you mean? The zip line? time. Where'd you get that from? What do you mean?

The zipline? Yeah, what made you put that on there? Well, it's just when I was thinking of like defining what a passage is. It's essentially like a path over or around or through something. And the zipline, as a kid, I thought that was so fucking cool to have a zipline from your bedroom to the treehouse. Like, it's just, it's amazing. You're overlooking number one,

which is hole six at the Paradise Fun Park, which is a mini golf course on the island. You walk on a pirate ship. It's very cool. It's a great one. On your island? Yeah, on our island. Oh, we got to play mini golf on your island.

You can see Paradise Fun Park. It's not, it's honestly, it's okay. We can potentially bring a load of anal passage shirts to the number one top ten passage in the world. We've got to. We can have a little sell-off at the end of the year. We'll do it when we go crabbing. So I guess for the audio listeners,

just go through hole six, Paradise Fun Park is number one, followed by Brooklyn Bridge two, Rainbow Bridge three is Asgard, number four is Kevin McAllister's Zipline, number five, Golden Gate Bridge, number six, Hawaii Door, which is a door in Monsters, Inc. with a time code of where you could find it.

Number seven is the path to becoming John Malkovich. Number eight, the Staples Center secret entrance, which I don't know if you're familiar with, Gavin, but there's a player who played for that team, got traded, got into, they had like a fight on the court and the guy that got traded that used to play there led a group of players through a secret entrance

in the bowels of the arena to try to attack the other team in the locker room. It's fantastic. By the way, this player who he's mentioning is State Farm's own Chris Paul. Number nine is the Shawshank Tunnels and the Mines of Moria. Middle Earth.

Number 10, so that's a top 10. The Golden Gate Bridge ranks above a tunnel leading to the brain of another human. Yeah, it's a great bridge. It's a really nice bridge. It looks really nice. It's in so many movies, it always pops when it's in a movie. It's fantastic. That color, international orange, lovely.

So where should we move to next i guess more future innovations okay so future innovations is because if we're a serious brand we can't just stop at a shirt oh lord so i reached out to tony uh who's fantastic in merch and i ran some ideas by him and had him make some people for time on this Tony is incredible some of the products here are fantastic we could go through the first one anal baggage it's a bag it's being currently used to cover a jet ski it's you know you can use it however you want that we all have

anal baggage there's the toy I don't remember what those are called what's on the viewfinder yeah I don't know we can finalize that got the anal past age appropriate What's on the viewfinder? Yeah, I don't know. We could finalize that. Okay. We got the anal passage of time. Anal passage of time. We got the anal passage of time, which is a clock anybody can use.

We've got to sell that. That's honestly so good. We've got to sell that. Can we please sell it? A passage of time clock. We got like 21 items here. I want to make one so I can have it. Yeah.

Oh, we have the Anal Passage of Enlightenment, which is a great pet toy. You can crawl through there, have fun. Create your own anal passages. Some might just call it a journal, but I think you can create your own. Anal Pass in Fruit is a beverage flavor. We have a possible sparkling water beverage.

Anal Pass in Fruit. Fruit is a beverage flavor. We have a possible sparkling water beverage. Anal passion fruit. Using your vernacular, Gavin, we've got some running shoes that were called trainers. We got anal trainers. If you need a hat to block out the sun, we have anal cappage. We have a pillow if you need to sleep. Anal passage. Zs because you're falling asleep.

We have a baseball, so that'd be anal smashage If you need to sleep anal passage, uh, we have a baseball. So that'd be anal smashage. Cause there's no better thing to hit dingers with than the anal smashage. Um, the baseball, the baseball's great. We got an anal passage, an anal passage measure,

because it's very important to have the specifics of the size of the passage that you're dealing with Then we just have the lazily named animal anal passage bomber jacket. I couldn't think of a funny name I just thought it looked fucking awesome. I thought that was great Yeah, and closing out our lineup is anal issues past the tissues a Kleenex box sponsored by anal passage So your theory is if we sell some of this stuff, we'll become the number one item of the year?

We also have to join the team where if you click it, we'll go to a link of buying the shirt in the store. I should also mention... I didn't realize we were still selling this thing. The shirt is still available. I'm working on a testimonial. So if anyone wants to send a testimonial video to me of them wearing the

shirt talking about how it has changed your life, becoming an anal passer, email me at Andrew at anal passage dot com. That is a totally real email. And I am working on getting a video together. So please feel free to send a submission. I see you're also looking for the perfect fit for a celebrity endorsement. I am. Yeah. fit for a celebrity endorsement?

I am, yeah. So I remembered a long, long time ago, Macaulay Culkin wore a Rooster Teeth shirt. So I tweeted to him, didn't get a response, so we're still working. We're still out there. We're trying to figure it out. I don't think you could get Macaulay Culkin to wear an anal passage shirt. Well, he wore a

Captain Dynamic shirt, so it's, you know. He's really rebounded since that point, I think. Oh, you think that that was a load that he's really rebounded since that point i think oh you think that that was a better place now damn oh yeah i tried so we're still in the running but feel free to email me andrew at analpassage.com just glance the frequently asked questions there's only three uh first question why because a serious brand deserves a serious website second question what is anal passage anal passage is a way of life. Three, do you even like theme parks?

I don't understand this question. I thought it was odd to ask. But you asked it of yourself. Well, you know, listen, so I've heard questions about it. I'm just responding to the questions as people have.

So that is my anal passage submission. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it is in consideration maybe one of your favorite things of the year. I hope the audience enjoyed it. you're blown away at how actually good some of those fake products look yeah they look great that baseball like that honestly amazing honestly the uh the jet ski cover is not bad either it's just it's such a what i like about that is it's such a niche product yeah the concept of a jet ski cover, like nobody,

I would bet less than three people that listen to this have a jet ski. Hey, if you listen to face and you own a jet ski, can you email Andrew at anal passage.com and let them know? I'd love to get a, I'd love to get a tally going of how many jet ski owners we have in the fray as a jet ski enthusiast to myself and aficionado, I'd love to connect with others out there,

just out of curiosity. That's all. Do we know how many times the Anal Passage shirt outsold the Annual Pass shirt? Is that a stat that we know? I do not. Because that's probably a win in itself. Oh my God.

Do you know how many jet skiing participants there were in the united states in 2017 that's the most recent they have data for 5.2 million well wow bigger than more than i would have anticipated yeah that's a big number what what um what dethroned us uh the one of the uno shirts yeah it was during the age you know bummer yeah it is a bummer but i hope i'm hoping if you buy the shirt because of this and you want to be in the testimony i'm going to wait a little bit before putting that together so you will have time to submit a video if you want to it is uh the shirt is available in extra medium of course it is is uh is it uh is it are we within striking distance or do we like... How tall is Anal Mountain?

It's... Listen, Anal Mountain is pretty tall. There's a little bit of a gap. I would be... It would be even more ridiculous if we were able to pass that point, but I want to get as close as possible, and I want to at least solidify us in the top three,

because we're a little close to the three. So as long as... Top three, I'm happy with, but if we could reclaim number one that'd be fucking ridiculous i will say as a as a as an emerging brand we had a lot of anal heat earlier in the year when we launched that thing and we really did kind of just let it die on the vine as uh as the year went on really you gotta you gotta you gotta feed the beast the thing with it was we didn't expect it to exist for long. It was supposed to be like kind of a

throwaway joke that once Jack noticed we'd remove, but then it became so big that we couldn't remove it. It was just funny. It was such a great shirt. That's right. He wanted us to take it down, but it was the number one selling item. It was the number one. So like, how do you take down the number one selling shirt?

That's funny. Yeah. It suddenly started paying one. So like, how do you take down the number one selling shirts? That's funny. Yeah. It suddenly started paying salaries. So that is analpassage.com. That is magic. You're a treat, man. That's the best site you've made so far. I think so.

It's up there. I owe a lot to Tony and my friends as well with helping me coming up with product names. That's fantastic. How long did Tony spend on that? Not shockingly not long. Like I was, I messaged Tony. It was like 11. It's probably like 1130 when I messaged him.

And I was like, hey, this is ridiculous. If you don't want to do this or you're too busy, totally understand. I have these ideas i suggested the anal passage of time uh the anal tunnel of enlightenment and the create your own anal passages uh i was like could you maybe put some branding on these uh and he's like yeah i'll get around to it and i'll send it to you tomorrow i was like oh that's perfect i'll have time for the show it'll be ready i woke up and like he had sent me 10 or 11 things immediately by like 8 a.m. The next day he was on top of it. So I have no idea how long it took him, but he just sent so many things.

He killed it. Yeah. One of my favorite parts of the site. Tony's a fucking talented dude. Incredibly talented. So funny. Imagine you're walking down the street and a bird poops all over your arm. Are you just going to pat it off with a dry napkin?

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Yeah. I got one other. Go after. Okay. Well, this is a, it involves you, Gavin, because we've had,

you know, a rivalry sort of recently with things in the past yeah you're going back and forth uh you all might remember that uh cosmic crisp was kind enough to follow jeff and i and i believe the podcast account as well a long time ago like in the summer and we had a dialogue back and forth with them and they're like oh so you know that's great that you've given us support i'd love to listen to it and show the team the podcast so i sent i sent the episode of me reviewing the cosmic crisp because i didn't send the cosmic crisp review because be honest you're kind of shitty about it gavin you're you're pretty low on the

cosmic crisp which i think is ridiculous it's a ridiculous rating i was low on apples yeah but that's you know it's part of the family i just think that's an insane take personally so i sent instead my review which i haven't listened to but i assume is a lot more favorable however in that review i ate a pink lady first thinking it was a cosmic crisp then realized my mistake then reviewed the cosmic crisp so it's like plus the name of our show they seem like a very wholesome brand i wasn't sure how that would go so i sent them the podcast they said great thank you so much i'll get back to you next week that was august 11th they never they never commented back yeah but a few days ago a few days ago i got another dm from them and i'm so excited i'm going

to post it right now and then I'll read it out loud in our chat this is what I received from Cosmic Crisp hi Andrew and Jeff excluding that we hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving our team loved your episode

as a token of our appreciation for all of your support we wanted to send you a little care package. Would you be able to send us your shipping information, mailing address, phone number, and email? Wishing you a wonderful week.

I don't know if they'll want their name mentioned, but the Cosmic Crisp social team. They reached out to us. We're going to, Jeff, we're going to get a gift basket. Andrew, congratulations. All your hard work is paying off.

Oh, congratulations to you for understanding what a good Apple is and respecting the Apple the way it deserves to be respected. Hey, hold on a second. Yeah, we're talking. I'm glad you brought that up, Andrew, because I think I think respect is is is is earned. And I hope that we I hope that I have earned the respect of the cosmic crisp social team uh as well as i think you clearly have and uh now that we have that respect i just uh i hope uh i don't know i

hope we i hope we wield it appropriately and uh and know that we have uh respect that the respect that they shine at us shines right back at them and uh wow what a great i believe i believe gavin called it a bog standard apple it would be really funny if they sent it a bog standard Apple. It would be really funny if they sent him a bog standard care package. It's the mediocre, not great thing. I love that you weren't included, and I think that's deliberate, because you didn't respect the Apple. That's what happens.

I feel like I didn't shit on the Apple. Yeah, you weren't a fan of it. You and Eric both were pretty down on the Apple experience. Hmm. I can understand them following just YouTube because I don't really use socials. But then they listened to it and still didn't address me by name.

Yeah. They loved it. They at least loved two-thirds. That's upsetting. It was a good Apple. I mean, it was fine. It was... I can't even dig. You know what?thirds. That's upsetting. It was a good apple. I mean, it was fine. It was... I can't even dig... You know what?

Listen, I just went through... Gavin, I went through redemption year. You can have your own redemption year. You can try to make things right with the Cosmic Crisp people. Look, I can't... Be bothered? You can't fake an opinion.

No, you can't. But can I ask you, like, in complete seriousness, have you found it yet? Do you find that you looked? It's gonna be a long couple of recordings, isn't it, this one? Hey, let me ask

you guys a question. Andrew, did you find Monopoly money on your front door yet? No. Hasn't been placed. I've been vigilant. I'm gonna be honest. I bought a paintball gun. But Hasn't been placed. I've been vigilant. I'm gonna be honest. I bought a paintball gun But I bought a paintball gun Cuz I stood God on you know no no no no this is what happened

Let me finish the story I bought a paintball gun because I have a balcony and it Overlooks like the entire walkway to the door and And I thought, if I see you, I could fire down upon you instead of having to run and chase after you. I'd just fire at you from the balcony. I then had guilt upon taking it home that I'd be shooting paintballs at you, and I returned the paintball gun

because I felt bad about the possibility of pelting you with paintball. So I no longer have a paintball gun. My point was just I am prepared for this to happen i've put things in place i've maybe done some other home alone like hijinks to booby trap the area uh waiting for your arrival but i'm prepared uh i'm ready you're not gonna see me i'm not gonna see you i don't think that that's possible i got a camera set up i got multiple cameras multiple angles.

Unless you like parachute in, which if the, hey, you win. If you parachute in, I'll give it to you. Hmm. How long do I have to do this? What did we say?

You said the end of December. If you want, I'm willing to extend it. You want to push it back a little bit? I'm okay with that. Then we'll keep. Do I have to take the ferry? There's surely quicker ways to that island. Can I fly there? You could fly there.

There's multiple ways you could fly. I prefer the ferry. Why don't you just fly? Because I prefer the ferry experience. I've never used the airport we have. There's also a seaplane you could use. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

I don't mean to interrupt here, but what the fuck? I thought the only way to get to where you are was we had to like fly somewhere, go somewhere, take a ferry. No, we can fly directly to where you are. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know about this in the past. He prefers the bigger airport or some shit.

Yeah. I prefer the ferry to this. Yeah. There's a seaplane as well. It's actually probably the most convenient way to get here would be going from the airport to the seaplane, which is pretty close, the Vancouver airport to the seaplane, then flying across.

It's a beautiful view. I just prefer the boat. How many hours does the boat add to your journey? So the seaplane, I think, is like a 25-30 minute flight across. The boat is like two hours maybe? This is unreal. I thought that the ferry

was like such an obstacle for us to overcome and then I'm finding out that we could just get a plane like any other fucking place in the world. Are you serious? Is this for real? I'm not going to play with you. I'm furious right now. gonna have enough money on your door. Andrew, I'm furious right now.

No, you should be happy to learn that there's a seaplane, because it is a beautiful sight to fly into that harbor. It's nice. This sucks. This sucks. I'd be ecstatic if I were you. So what, you take off from the water? Yeah, yeah. It lands in the water. It flies from

the water. It floats, it goes, it goes, and then you go in the water. It flies from the water, floats, it goes, and then you go in the sky and then lands. And that's from the airport on New Orleans. So you go from the airport and then you just, you go to the seaplane location. It's probably like a 15, 20 minute capture. I'm just imagining a normal airport, but one of the gates is in the water.

I wish, no, it's like a little, it's on a dock. It's a small little thing. I haven't been in a long time. It could be different, but it's not that big of an area you walk out on the dock you hop in the plane It flies to the other side Huh easy like 20 minutes. I think there also might be like a hella jet as well It might be I think there's multiple. They're adding a fast ferry in the summer so you got so much choice There's a lot of variety to pick from anyway. I'm excited and I'm prepared. I've never been

on a seaplane. That sounds cool. That's like Indiana Jones or like Jake from Tales from the Gold Monkey. Did you guys ever watch that show? No. What is Tales from the Gold Monkey? It was like a Indiana Jones ripoff in the 80s. I'll send you. Well, you guys talk off. I'd love to see. That sounds great.

Have we decided what happens if we both are successful? Is that a tie? Is that just a wash at this point? happens if we both are successful is that a tie is that just a wash at this point yeah i think it's a very expensive tie okay so now you're trying to tie is what you're doing no i'm it's not it's not one nil because i've already placed it's oh it's one it's one nil you don't even know it makes it so funny but that's like me saying it's one nil well it's it's you know i've got more places to hide it but that's fine have you found the money yet i know it's not on the door i've checked there's footage zero percent chance that's happened have you checked in the last 40 minutes no i haven't

if you put it put it in the last 40 minutes that'd be crazy wouldn't be crazy if i was in austin and you were in my town different times that'd be funny. And I took the ferry, not realizing there was a seaplane. That's why he's so pissed off. Tales of the Golden Monkey looks great. The dog has an eye patch? Yeah, the dog has an eye patch. That's fantastic.

What happened to the dog's eye? Why does the dog have an eye patch? I don't know. I mean, I've seen dogs with one eye. I think we've all seen dogs with like one eye. Why would he have an eye? I was, it know. I mean, I've seen dogs with one eye. I think we've all seen dogs with, like, one eye. Why would he have an eye? I was, it was 1982. I was seven years old. I don't remember. I just remember that I liked it when I was a kid.

That's a good point. An animal loses an eye. It just doesn't have an eye. Yeah, does the man, does he, is he so offended by, like, the dog's one eye? He's like, better patch that up. Dog is embarrassed. I think maybe the dog was self-conscious. I don't know. I have a little follow-up from the last podcast we recorded. Okay.

I'd love to hear it. I'm not sure whether this would upset you, Andrew, or whether this is something you also get. But I sent something to Jeff, and I got 10 Haas back. Oh, yeah. No, Jeff gives Haas out all the time. He's a great Haas guy.

Did you get 10, though? I've never counted Jeff's Haas. It's a lot. He sm Jeff gives Haas out all the time. He's a great Haas fan. Did you get 10 there? I've never counted Jeff's Haas. It's a lot. He smashes those Haas buns. I gave out 10 Haas to Gavin the other day because something he said deserved 10 Haas, and then I commented that I meant every one of those Haas. I gave out, I want to say, 7 or 8 Haas to Andrew the other day.

It was pretty good, but it wasn't 10, I don't think. What was the 10 Haas? What happened? Oh, I just sent Jeff a oh okay some kid kicking a football that's great why didn't i can i get the clip can i see the clip yeah i'd love to see it let me post it on the old discord is it like a tiktok or is it a video what are we talking i assume it's a tiktok that's on, which is how I receive all TikToks. Because I'm old.

For the audience, it's a kid playing soccer and the text is Jesus Christ, it's Jason Bourne and then the kid kicks the same kid hits the ball into three kids' faces. Back to back to back. That's awesome. that's so cool my favorite part

my favorite part is that the guy filming points the camera down after the one right that's too much I like when the second kid gets hit and runs into the first kid like they're running into each other three stooges style I like when the second kid gets hit and runs into the first kid like I watched it like 15 times it's fucking chaos it's a 10 hot clip for sure

it's the perfect clip it's a it's a winner if we were picking uh top three clips I've seen of the year, that's probably number one. That is amazing. I love that they all give up progressively. Like that is what happens. That's great. Because it's like a TikTok probably posted on Instagram.

There's no way of telling who filmed that or who's responsible for it. Yeah. But whoever you are, whoever's responsible for it. Yeah. Yeah. But whoever you are, whoever's kid that is, thanks. Because that's the funniest shit I've ever seen. It's great. People falling or getting hurt, but not like seriously hurt. Always amazing.

It just doesn't stop. It brings me so much joy. The kid is ruthless he knows what he's doing he's still doing it I like that Gavin set this up is something that might upset me this is great that is 10 ha worthy absolutely it is absolutely a 10 ha clip oh my god can I subscribe to the clip of children getting hit by things or just any impact? Whatever feed Jeff is on that I'm not on through you, I'm subscribing to that feed. I feel like I don't send my friends clips very often. Like, Jeff, you probably had maybe two from me.

This year? Yeah. This year. Yeah. I just like to make sure they're all A-plus gold star winners. Why one on that list? Because that's a great clip. If you guys had TikTok, I would put you on my list of funny TikToks that I send to Emily.

She's the only person on my list right now. But I send absolute fucking bangers on TikTok. Pony on your list. I just joined TikTok a week ago because I realized America's funniest home videos is on TikTok. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I could just watch people fall whenever I want to and bite size. Oh, this is great.

Dude, people shit on TikTok and I know they're stealing all my data and I know everything about me and stuff now and they're probably making clones of me in China. But there it is. It is just a fucking nut shot city. It is just hours upon hours. Skateboards, footballs, bicycles, you name it. Just wrecking dicks. I love it.

I wonder if we should have the official face compilation where you go back to everything you sent Emily and post a link to each one. You know, that's the end of that. It's funny you say that because you're rated. I kind of did that a little bit already because tomorrow, one of the things we're going to film that I mentioned earlier was Andrew wants to do this like ladder tournament for like funniest fall video of the year. Drafting falls. Drafting falls. Right? Yes. And so the only place I found I went

to look for fall videos is I just went back through my list of shit I sent to Emily and just pulled the funniest falls I found. I didn't know what you were talking about. Do you understand now? Yeah, but just the way you phrased it. Some of it was my fault. I think some of it. I'm surprised that

Eric just didn't know what a snake draft was by name. I just got the message. The snake draft wasn't the confusing part it's just that it like we weren't doing it from like a pool you're just like pick something i'm like what's the point of a draft we're not doing it from a pool so you just pick some things the pool is all false and then right and you kept saying false which is such like, not a thing that you would actively draft from. Yeah, without context, I just read, four of us could record a supplemental of doing a snake draft of our favorite things.

I was like, what does that mean? I think outside of snake draft, it's very clear. I would disagree with that. I mean, I guess so. There's no pool we're drawing from. It's just pick some falls that you like. I don't know what the point of the snake draft is if we're not doing it from a pool.

Jeff said, I'll do it. I said, I don't know what you just said. Yeah. I understand. I think it's straightforward. The snake draft doesn't make sense to me. It's falls. I don't know what that is.

That's the pool. I don't understand how that's not a pool. It's not because when you say basketball teams, it means... Do you think the NFL draft only picks quarterbacks one year? Like, what do you mean? What are you talking about? It's players. I think that they choose from a pool of players who have entered

that people have gone through and chosen from. So I do think that there's a pool because you can't... Here's the thing. They're not drafting me, Andrew. Andrew. Andrew. They're not drafting me. The Buffalo Sabres drafted a guy that isn't

even fucking real. They made up a human being and drafted him as a joke. It's happening. You idiot. To quote Gavin, you fool. They've done this. What is happening in hockey? Who did they draft that's not real?

What? That hockey, Nick just said that hockey league draft. Spoiler. You know what? I stand, I will, I'll admit that I was wrong because Nick is right. The hockey league drafted a monkey, so I stand corrected. Taro Tujimoto. He's a made-up player picked by the Bruins in the 1974 draft,

in the 11th round. They did it as a joke. They're like, wouldn't it be funny if we just snuck a player in that doesn't exist and we'll see if anyone notices? And he became the hype of the team. Everyone's fucking excited for this guy that wasn't real. I gotta say, man, you have to be eligible. Hockey does wacky shit that other sports just aren't brave enough to do.

Like hockey does not take it for a sport that's all about beating the shit out of each other. It really doesn't take itself too seriously. I appreciate that about it. Sometimes it does. And in ways that suck, it does. In ways that suck, it does for sure. But they have like a high sense of humor, I would say. I wonder if there's anything in the actual rules to prevent,

like obviously there's no reason to, but could they draft someone that they wanted to just because? Like you are involuntarily drafted to the Blackhawks or something? You're just like, oh man, I'm on the Penguins now, shit. Fuck. I mean, in the NFL and NBA, there's eligibility requirements, right? So, aren't

they're in hockey in some way? Maybe they've added them, but I mean, they definitely drafted a guy that didn't exist in the past. So it's happened. Anyway, I think it'll be fun. I think we'll have a good time. Sharing some faults. I think it could become, I was telling'll be fun. I think we'll have a good time. I agree. Sharing some falls.

I think it could become, I was telling Andrew, we were talking about it earlier, it could become like a yearly thing we do in the fall. It could. Fall falls. Fall falls.

Yeah. Fall falls. Yeah. I have four that I'm very excited about. I need to do some more research, figure out where, what things are on my board and where. I have one that I'm worried Eric is going to steal.

Outside of that, I feel pretty good about my other ones. I have, well let me just say, I, uh, when I sat down to think about what the greatest falls of all time are, I think I probably came up with a lot of ones that y'all have as well, and so I'm going to go the other route and I'm going to try and find only falls

you've never seen before that are more obscure. So otherwise we'll have the great lady. We're all going to have great lady. Only one person can have the great lady, though. Yeah. So it's not like we're all going to we're all going to submit four falls each and there's going to be four copies of great lady. So I'm trying to. Oh, good Lord.

Well, no. Oh, good Lord. But but I am a little concerned, like going through my TikToks trying to find them. There's a fine line, I think, between falling and crashing, and I don't know which side of it, like what your tolerance level is. Is it falling if you go up first?

I think so. I think it could be. I think so, yeah. Okay, I got a great one. I was thinking of movie falls. I was thinking of movie falls. I was thinking of sports falls, entertainment falls. I've been trying to decide if my sushi fall is draftable because there's no visual to see,

but that was genuinely a great fall. I mean, could you recreate it somehow? Like in Slumber? I wouldn't want... It would be too dangerous to recreate in Slumber. That was a perfect fall that could have been catastrophic but it's just I landed it

should we have a little end of the ankle checkup what we at oh yeah we could do that got all sorts of options where's your ankle at right now like 85% I'd say we could graph this if we ask you every week

you could get a chart going you could i'd say 85 right now got a little tightness in my right achilles but that's okay and every time it plummets we'll write like sushi box the sushi grade yeah yeah that's great how are uh how are your ankles gavin oh fine i haven't tried to move a table in a while okay so you fully recovered fully recovered i could do a marathon tomorrow really hey i will if you will i think i have to now right because of the whole thing i activated with the trash and the previous when I said trash much enough. You're right. Yeah.

I think I'm due now. Tomorrow? No, I can't do tomorrow. Okay. I'm going to be tired tomorrow. On office day? On office day, yes. It's a busy, busy day.

Got a lot of stuff to do. It is a busy day. We do have a lot of stuff to do. I did a thing that I think I'm the only one who prepared for because I'm going to be honest. I forgot and then I remembered a few days ago. I have a lot of stuff to do i did a thing that i think i'm the only one who prepared for because i'm gonna be honest i forgot and then i remembered a few days ago i have a stuffing recipe oh good so do i deep lore oh you do that's great yeah perfect i think i'm gonna forget my own contest my own thing well i just didn't you know it was something we kind of talked about in passing i

wasn't sure but yeah i'm ready i'm ready for the deep lore about stuffing. Okay, so I have a question about that. We are fucking an hour in almost, 55 minutes in. Do we want to do our stuffing recipes now or save it for the next episode? I think if we don't take forever on it, I think we can do it now. I think it would be fun. Well, I don't know if Gavin has one.

I'd be shocked if Gavin has one. But I don't think he's going to have one before the next recording. Were we supposed to come with a stuffing recipe or a Thanksgiving recipe? Stuffing recipe. Stuffing recipe? I thought it was a recipe for a Thanksgiving food. I have two Thanksgiving recipes that are not stuffing,

but I guess you can turn them into stuffing. And then Nick is saying the same thing. I thought it was what Eric thinks. I thought it was just a recipe for Thanksgiving. And then the name of the book was Deep Lore About Stuffing. You know what? You might be right, and I might be. I am, but I'm just making sure you guys know that. I might be getting caught up in the name.

I definitely came up with a stuffing recipe. I think I probably conflated the two even when I was talking about it and was of two minds. I think I wanted it to be a stuffing recipe, but I also think I mentioned that we should all trade Thanksgiving recipes with the audience.

So I think that makes sense about it. Yeah. Well, I want the recipes anyway that you have, Eric. I imagine. Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely. All recipes are valid. It sounds like Nick's got them. Eric's got them. I've got them. Andrew's got them. That's just Gavin. What about you?

Oh, I got one. Oh, good. I've got one. If I go last. Gavin, what about you? Oh, I got one. Oh, good. I've got one if I go last. No, I think Gavin should go ahead and go first. All right, that's going to change things slightly. Hold on.

My brows just crashed a little bit there. Does anybody's recipe come with a story no uh i don't have like a really long story about it or whatever but mine like the food is in spot i brought a food and a drink why don't you go first eric why don't you eat it off yeah that's fine i'll give gavin some time um yeah no problem uh the first is just a drink. This is what you can be, this is what you can be sipping on while you make this food. It is a, uh, peppermint bark white Russian. Uh, I don't know if you guys have ever had rum chata.

Jeff, you're excluded. Um, rum chata is like a liqueur. It's very nice. And, uh, what I do is I mix some vodka. It's usually about two ounces with, uh, an ounce to an ounce and a half of rum chata with in another like half ounce of kalua and you're just making a white russian it's very creamy it's very nice it's uh just the right amount of boozy while you're making my grandma's pumpkin pie cheesecake and i know that sounds like it would be a cheesecake that is pumpkin pie it's not it is a pumpkin pie with a layer of cheesecake on the bottom which is the right the i love it every year because it is

the right mix of sweet with like creamy and a little tart the way that um the way that sort of uh you need something to break up the sweetness of the pumpkin pie. Making the cheesecake is just like making a regular cheesecake. Just whipping the cream cheese together with sugar. And then putting it into an already made pie crust. Because grandma doesn't need to make a pie from scratch. Pumpkin pie filling is just a bunch of spices mixed in with pumpkin puree, some evaporated milk, and some eggs. That's just mixing.

My grandma said, whisk that together slow, and then pour it on top of the cheesecake slow. And then you just put it in the oven. You put it in the oven. It's so easy to do. Look, I got a whole written-out recipe, but I'm not going to bore you with all the details. Do we have a picture?

I don't have a picture because it's, I mean, I can show you somebody else's pumpkin pie cheesecake, I guess. No, what we'll do, what we'll do is we'll take the recipes and we'll write them out and then we'll, I guess we'll put them on Instagram. Yeah. I'm ready. I'm ready with mine.

Oh, fantastic. Go for it, Gavin. By the way, Eric, I think those sounded fantastic. Fantastic. Thank you. Okay. So a can of beets and tater tots. Well, it's cranberry in it, and it can.

Yeah. Sorry. That's your recipe? Some cranberry and... Okay. Yeah, that could be good. I've never combined those flavors. So you slice the cranberry to...

Do you have any seasoning? Do you make like a cranberry sandwich out of the slices of cranberry? With tater tots? No, you put this in the turkey. Oh, you put it in the turkey. Yeah, this is the actual stuffing. Oh, this is stuffing. I see. Have you tried this? Is this like

a family tradition that happens every year? Since I was a kid. Thanksgiving every year as a child in England. This is what was in my turkey. The worst part about this Since I was a kid at Thanksgiving every year as a child in England This is what was in my turkey Worst part about this is I feel like we have to cook a turkey with this in it just see what happens I'll be honest as soon as both these pictures came up. I thought that's probably quite I could see there's like some seasoning. I think you could do something with that blend of the potato.

Yeah, I think it's great. That's really good, Kev. Thanks, man. Honestly, for somebody who's not a native-born American to come up with a uniquely American recipe, I think you killed it. Thanks. You put the typical American amount of effort into a thing.

Nick, did you have something? I've got a uniquely American recipe that I came up with this year. So you know how when you're like on your third day of leftovers, you get a little tired of the same stuff, right? So I wanted to experiment. I had a bunch of leftover pecan pie. And I was like, I don't want to just eat it this way. So I cut a huge slice of it,

and I dropped it into the blender with a couple of scoops of ice cream, vanilla, some chocolate chips, and then just a bit of chocolate syrup and a splash of milk. And you just blend that all up until you have a nice pumpkin pie milkshake.

Now, if that's a little too sweet for you, and also this isn't for you, Jeff, but you can cut that with a little bit of bourbon for some extra flavor. That sounds great. I feel like Jeff is really being left out of these because they have booze and milk. That's okay. That's okay. I'm okay with milk as a component. The booze, I don't think it get to do as well but i will say

listening uh listening to to nick describe it was delicious yeah he did a great job yeah you did a fantastic job you get that you get that radio voice down i really appreciate that eric and nick both went into you know their own they have a personal story for there seems to be some some layers to it it's not just a recipe. Yeah, they went deep. Yeah, yeah, for sure. What about you, Andrew? See, that's the thing. I just crafted a recipe. I haven't made this yet.

So I don't know if this is good or not. I'll just copy and paste my ingredients for my stuffing. I switched it up a little bit, going with an untraditional bread choice, I would say. Instead of like standard standard bread challah use a challah loaf it's delicious it's gonna be a sweeter

stuffing I imagine it also contains butter melted kosher salt freshly ground black pepper olive oil shallots minced garlic chopped rosemary two granny smith apples and

one cosmic crisp apple chopped walnuts pecans low sodium chicken broth half a teaspoon of cinnamon and a pinch of nutmeg i think there's a good balance of flavors it could be terrible i haven't tried it yet i need to try it i'll try to do that this weekend oh i would love to see if that's good because that's a lot of that is my recipe it seems like a lot of work i also have instructions for making it um but i haven't done it yet. So, we'll see how accurate those are. Okay, I think that looks delicious.

I agree with you. It's honestly not that different from mine, which is interesting. I think we kind of went in similar places. I did the same thing as you, Andrew, in that I haven't actually made my recipe yet. I kind of crafted it from

kind of the bones of two different recipes. But I'm so certain that my recipe is delicious that I'm going to put my name on it. And I'm so, so, so certain it's delicious I'm never going to cook it. I don't need to. I don't need to eat it.

I know it's that good. I want the world to eat it, but I I've eaten it in my mind. So just throwing that out there ahead of time. Here's how my approach went. I wanted to do the atypical American thing. I wanted to put a lot of effort into work into this. And I wanted this recipe to kind of speak for me

and to be kind of of and about me. And so I wanted to figure out a way to make it unique. And so I didn't know what that meant exactly, but I just knew that I was going to put it out into the world, kind of like when Uniform needs an idea. You kind of put it out into the world, and then you just kind of see what comes at you, right? And so a lot of people probably don't know this as well, but every Saturday, pretty much every Saturday, if I'm in town, Emily and I go to estate sales all over Austin and the surrounding Central Texas

areas because Emily is obsessed with buying stuff from dead women. No, it's just something to do. You guys know about the tiny town and stuff. That shit is expensive. People are like, how the fuck do you have so much tiny town? It's because old ladies die all the time and it's old it's old people stuff if you want christmas decorations

go to an estate sale they're they're old people hoard christmas decorations that's why emily has an entire storage unit full of it it's been a whole running gag on the other podcast i do with gus uh we had to rent a uHaul truck to get all the storage. I'll send you guys a photo, actually. We had to rent a U-Haul truck to move all of the Christmas stuff from our storage to our house this year. Was it cheaper than renting a car? It was like $60.

But it was better than filling up our SUV 17 times and going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Anyway, so every Saturday we go out and we go to estate sales. So I thought, I'm going to put it out in the universe that I'm looking for this recipe. This Saturday, we're going to estate sales. I'm going to see what comes back at me. We end up in this area north of Austin that's like a retirement community, right? And they have a golf course on the retirement community. And I thought, oh, it must be nice

if you're into golfing and it's right there for you. You never have to leave, right? We go into a house, go into their living room and the living room is just one giant picture window of the golf course but like on the course like I can see people putting on one of the greens I could throw a baseball and hit them they're so close and I'm like god damn that's wild and then I look around and everything in this house is themed golf like every glass and coffee cup is like a golf pun and there's like golf flags from different places hanging from the walls and there's like little wooden golf figures everywhere and there's like fucking ashtrays that are golf shit like everything is golf related and i'm kind of like looking at all these little knickknacks and kind of like laughing at how silly they are.

And I see, I'm going to send you guys a picture. This catches my eye. I stopped talking too soon. Too powerful? Okay. This catches my eye. God damn it. How can it be too powerful?

Eric. Eric, can we get Nitro for Discord? just got i was emailing with not our finance people but going above them to our finance financiers and saying how do i unblock this earlier this week okay uh so i apologize i apologize it's going up in Slack right now. I stumble upon this on their shelf. Oh, it is a cookbook called Favorite Recipes from the Ramsey Golf and Country Club from Ramsey, New Jersey. And I think to myself, a recipe book from a country club from a place called Ramsey, New Jersey, the town is named after me. The country club and the golf course are named after me.

And it's spelled right. And it's spelled right. So I buy the favorite recipes book and thinking, oh, this is awesome. There's sure to be something in there. Sure enough, on page 31 or no, I'm sorry. On page 63 63 there is a recipe for Waldorf stuffing and I think like oh great

but then I feel like it's like it's like speaks to me and I'm like oh maybe I'll use this or I'll figure out I'll use it as the base then Emily's family comes into town for Thanksgiving and her uncle Daryl makes his own stuffing and it's fucking delicious and I'm like oh my god I got this stuffing right here in front of me. Uh, this thing is phenomenal. His was like a traditional

stuffing. The one on the recipe book is like a Waldorf stuffing. And so, uh, after Daryl, uh, after he left, uh, I got thinking about it and I wanted to honor his stuffing in some way. So I combined the two recipes into this. Well, I can't put a fucking photo up. Here's my, I call it Jeff and Daryl's. He has no idea I made this, and it would probably creep him out if he did. Jeff and Daryl's Waldorf Wonder Stuffing 4

as inspired by the people of the Ramsey Golf and Country Club in Ramsey, New Jersey. And it is much like you, Andrew. It includes a Cosmic Crisp Apple. It includes, I'm not going to go through the whole steps, but it includes onions, celery, lots of butter, dried breadcrumbs with two different ways to prepare them, salt, pepper, poultry seasoning,

a little Herbe de Provence, some chopped pecans, water, egg, well-beaten orange peel zest, and I gave you specific instructions on how to cook it with two versions. One if you want it to be stuffing, and one if you only want it to be dressing, because they are two different things prepared slightly differently. Boom.

Jeff and Daryl's Waldorf Wonder Stuffing for... I think it needs grapes. No. Celery, apples apples walnuts grapes water no I didn't need grapes oh grapes don't work don't don't work in a stuffing that's fair I'd be weirded out if there were grapes grapes aren't stuffing food uh anyway so that's mine uh I put way too much time and effort into it and uh anyway shout out to the people of ramsey new jersey i didn't know you existed uh but we are the same you lived in new jersey and

didn't realize i was a ramsey no i'd never heard of it yeah i lived there for two years wow that's crazy oh eric said we should wrap up yeah we should uh thank you for everybody for submitting your recipes i'll i'll uh if you guys could send them to me in recipe form, I will make sure they go up on Instagram at some point. And hopefully, audience, if you guys want to give them a try, I know a lot of people made our sauces. Feel free. Let us know how they are.

I'm pretty sure mine's going to work well, but I'll never know because I'm never going to eat it or make it. Oh, and I guess we should end the podcast now. One last thing. I saw somebody asked me the other day what my progress on the Jeff achievement was. And so it is 72%. That's where I am. You're getting close.

Yeah, but I'm actually, it's actually misleading. I am at 72%, but I'm in a much better, a much stronger place than that. I am at 72%, but I'm in a much stronger place than that. I need about 1.8 million souls to spend on all the things I need to buy to upgrade. And I'm at like 1.2 million right now. So I don't have the metals I need, but I've spent some time just grinding out souls. And so I'm actually, I got enough souls for like 90%.

Wow. How long will it take you to get that extra 10%? What do you say? I have no idea. I should have this achievement within a year. So it's not like you can't consistently time how long it takes to-

What the fuck is going on? Stop. Shut up. Shut up. Everyone shut up. End the podcast. What's happening? You did it.

You did the outro, and then now it's just questions about Gems of War. That could be the next episode. Well, no, we got other stuff to talk about. No! Oh my god. I got notes. I got lots of notes. Well, most of them are for tomorrow, which is confusing, because it looks like more notes than that. Maybe I don't have a lot.

Anyway, thanks for listening to F*** Face. Bye. Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Andrew has a new website. Let's look at Gavin's life hacks. Hatton tries to make a grilled cheese at his desk. Salt licorice is the worst. Can you think of food shaped like animals?

Jeff loves Bozo the Clown and defends Ronald McDonald's honor. What happened to the grimace? Where did the cucumber come from? And once again, Andrew is a huge fan of the Annual Pass podcast, available at youtube.com slash annual pass.