F**kface - A Podcast Where We Get Eachother // Bean Hole Days [112]

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin bagging on Producer Eric, the treasure cove redux, Cosmic Crisp, we're a flubcast, cat socks, Our Tuxedo, Gavin's tea towel, RTX Groan Tubes, and Bobby Lee. Download the full audio at: https://bit.ly/3ataI0e  Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail]  Sponsored by Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), and Fum (http://breathefum.com/face + code Face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Zach Granke's the weird guy and that's all we have and it sucks. We need more weird athletes. Who is Zach Granke and that's it Zach Granke's the weird guy and that's all we have and it sucks we need more I don't know who is Zach Granke he's a pitcher he used to pit well he's back on the Royals now but uh I guess the most recent thing that he did where you could like qualify him as like weird guy is uh a fan was trying to get autographs handed him a baseball to sign it because he was signing autographs he took the baseball turned around and threw it as far as he could just away from them and the fan said why did you do that and he said for my amusement and it's weird because with social

media you would think you would have more access than ever to the weirdness of athletes, but it's like this unfortunate mix of like, they got publicists at the same time, like they worked out agents and all that shit. Yeah. There's a team of four people in front of you in your mouth at all times now. Yeah, Zach Granke is like my favorite professional athlete just because of like the insane stories about Zach Granke.

He's the fucking best. I love him. But Gavin, you can, this is episode 112, so you can take it from here, Gavin. Nice of you to show up, Eric. Appreciate it. All right, well, Gavin's in a mood. Uh-huh, yep.

Everything going okay, buddy? Oh, do we not, do we not rip on Eric? Well, no, I mean, we do. It's just the tone was a little off gavin yeah no we shit on eric we shit into eric's open mouth whenever we can but you just that's what i was you you seem to be dispossessed of a level of energy it's just a delivery problem oh no yeah it was it was very like a serious like you're actually upset i often like jeff you gaslight gavin all the time with asking if he's okay that might be the first legitimate needed are you okay that we've ever had on the

show are you okay gavin no i'm good i just i thought i was doing it right i need to work on it obviously but uh yeah apologies eric that was uh i got what you were going for but i appreciate people sticking up for me so thank you very much it's just it was weird because i don't feel like you were gone you missed the last one i think you were in there the one before though yeah he missed he missed like one i really had nothing yeah it was really it was a strange call out i think i understood what you're going for it was just a, it was a strange call-out. I think I understood what you're going for. It was just a mix. There's a lot of, would you like to go again? Would you like to try it again? I'll try next week. Okay.

But he's gonna be here. Yeah, whatever. Dude, are you gonna be here for the second recording today, Eric? Yes, I will be here for the second recording. Alright, Gavin. I can step out if you want me to. No, no, no. That's the best I can do. Gavin, get yourself ready.

We're going to record these back to back so you can shit right on them in about 48 minutes. Yeah. And if you're listening to this because you're a fan, come see us in one week to hear how Gavin really gets me. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast, a podcast where we get each other. And we tend to do it with a little more energy than Gavin today. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew Panton and the aforementioned Gavin Free. I believe this is episode 112. Is that correct? That is correct.

this is episode 112 is that correct that is correct episode 112 of uh season four year three volume one chapter whatever how you guys doing i'm excited it's been a while hasn't it and i know andrew's excited yeah i need to talk to you guys about something i'm very curious about no i haven't done any well i did something in the past as just the reaction to it and the lack of reaction here I I made a complete ass of myself two weeks ago two weeks ago now and there

was zero I'm so curious if you guys noticed what happened and you didn't address it or if you missed it as well are you do you get what i'm talking about do you know do you understand i think you may be talking about a cove yeah yeah i sure am so i didn't i had zero awareness that i fucked that up and it was an incredible the sentence let me just say the sentence as I said it, because

it is a masterworks in stupidity. Jake is an endless treasure cove of words that are slightly wrong, was the sentence I said. I know it's true. I stepped in a shovel so hard while laughing at somebody else. You couldn't have scripted a better foot in mouth than that dude it's i wish i could like claim credit that's comedic genius if i purposely did that i'm just an idiot and i had no idea that happened and you guys didn't react to it at all

so when the episode came out i don't listen to the show but i look at the comments and there were it was almost all talks about a treasure cove and I was like what is what treasure cove like that it gives me very mini golf vibes when I hear treasure cove I was like we didn't talk about mini golf dude I don't I want a vacation in treasure cove I think it sounded it sounded wrong to me but it didn't register that clearly I guess just because it could be a Canadian thing or a North American thing. And I was just like, well, it seems like he knows what he's talking about.

Like, it could technically be correct. Like a treasure, like a cove of treasure. No, there's no way to dig out of that. It's wrong. No, it's totally wrong. I'm not saying it's right. I'm a fucking idiot. I fucked it up completely.

But I'm saying as far as challenging it goes, I can see there being a little bit of resistance like for a half second but so i was curious did you so gavin and jeff did you notice that when not at all no i think i think the thing that that and i recognize the audience feels like we should have noticed and going back and listening to it it's pretty fucking like pretty clear sure uh but I think the thing that gets missed, uh, is that when we're doing the show, like I'm kind of how,

like, I don't know about you guys, but I'm like giving you guys like 65% of my attention. And then the other 35%, I'm planning like a bit or what I'm going to say or how to work something in. So it's easy to miss stuff in the moment like that. I try and listen with a higher percentage than that. I tried to be like,

like maybe a 90 but some stuff does slip through that's for sure that's far too high was it always 65 jeff or is this a sliding scale oh it's definitely a sliding scale okay as the episode number goes up the percentage goes down yeah year four jeff or year three jeff is a lot different than year one is it i'm guessing less it's continuously going down by sliding scale it's not going back and forth it's just down it is sliding downwards with time i mean i feel like i tell you guys all the time when i'm like i'm sorry i i tuned out i wasn't yeah no that i feel like in the last episode i was listening to it back and there I feel like in the last episode, I was listening to it back

and there was a period in the last episode where my headphones turned off for like two straight minutes. And Andrew, you said something really funny during that period where you said that you flipped your phone around to look at the back of the car. I thought that was really funny.

But I do feel like maybe that fell in Jeff's 35% of not paying attention. There was literally no reaction to that at all but i thought that was very funny i i'll be honest i wasn't just listening to what you said kevin what was i doing you want to wait you want to do this another time that was in response to you oh we'll do it again no i'll tell you what i'll tell you what i'll tell you what no worries i'll go back and listen to that part of the podcast when it comes out great but only that only that part i was uh because there was some some cosmic crisps crisps stuff we could talk about um later

you were but you were you were annoyed when i talked to you the other day I was annoyed but before we did this I wanted to check to see how we all rated the Apple at that time I didn't get to try it in the actual review but so I wanted to listen to it I played it back

again and all time not listening moment I forgot that this happened Jeff you set up what we're gonna do you're like okay we've all had the Apple or all you guys did and

now we're gonna do it we're gonna do it on a scale of one okay, we've all had the Apple, or all you guys did, and now we're going to do it. We're going to do it on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best Apple ever. Gavin, you go first. What would you rate the Apple? And Gavin immediately says, what's the scale? Wasn't listening at all. It's great. There's an established

history of not listening and missing the complete setup to what is currently happening. Yeah yeah it's just one of those things where you like you think because you're a part of the process you think you know what you know the spiel so you're not really listening to the spiel and it's like and what do you think of this goat and it's like wait what and you just realize that you're not as tuned in as you think this is perfect because it was literally 60 seconds of detailing the specifics

of the scale and then you immediately ask you well what's the scale very genuinely do we do we want to talk about the cosmic crisp situation that has happened what's the situation well real real fast let's circle the wagons before we do that okay you have because we're going to do two episodes i have a lot of notes but none of them are particularly important although i feel like there are two things I should at least mention, but I don't even have to get to them this episode. Gavin, I remember you said last episode you had like seven or eight things to talk about and you only got to one.

And then Andrew, I assume you have a bunch too outside of Cosmic Crisp. I have a little bit. Yeah. Nothing I'd say is central. Well, let's just dive in with Cosmic Crisp. Okay. So I got a notification. I was very excited.

We've tried in the past, but for the first time, Cosmic Crisp has interacted with us on Twitter in some capacity. Somebody is doing the test of having one of their apples just out and seeing how it has lasted throughout these months. And so they did like a collage of, this is like the start, month two, month four, month six. Yeah. I'll go ahead and pay attention now.

Montage? Yeah, okay, that was wrong. That was fucked up by me. What is a collage? Well, that'd be if they took a picture, a bunch of pictures, and then sort of cut them all out and stuck them to the same piece of cardboard, wouldn't it? Yeah.

And what was the other word? Montage. Montage. Is a montage... A montage can be a stationary image? A collection of like four images? Well, it's more of like a progression of time, isn't it? Yeah.

And like a bunch of different stuff. Yeah, I guess. I've just never thought of a photo montage before. But you're totally right. That makes sense. Does that mean a time lapse is a photo montage could be anyway sent these photos and they they asked them are you testing our apples and then i got in there a little bit and i was so excited because we've tried to interact with them in the past with zero response which is understandable considering the

name of the show um and it was the first time they interacted. So I commented back to them. They liked it. I got all excited. And then like three hours later, I looked at my phone and I got the notification that Cosmic Crisp is now following the F*** Face Pod Twitter account.

Oh! They only follow like 98 people. At that time, it was a very funny list. So I looked, I looked at who they were following and I was, I was very excited. Cause 98 people, I'm like,

Oh, this will be a quick thing. How many actual people? Yeah. Top a hundred. It's a great way to put it. They, and it was face pod.

And then the account they followed after that was Walmart. And then the account they followed after that was Walmart. And then the account they followed after that was Jeff Ramsey. Just Jeff. They just followed Jeff. And I was disgusted in the car. I was outraged that out of all the people on this podcast, the Apple company follows the biggest banana guy of that. Maybe in the world.

Number one, Apple will never come close to your banana fandom i will say i feel like i rated the cosmic crisp higher than anybody else on this podcast that's you did which is well not me because i didn't have it at that time but i'm disgusted with you jeff because i went back that's why i know the gavin thing because i was gonna put it in part of my argument to be like this motherfucker gave it a 4.6 and he got the follow you gave it a 7.8 i believe i stand by ranked it above the average apple yeah i don't remember what you said the average you said it was a great apple so i couldn't i couldn't even use that against you

but it was still i just looked at it in shock that they followed the banana guy they also follow us on instagram now they follow us on instagram too wow that's awesome where were they when we were an apple podcaster we're were an Apple podcast though? We're still an Apple podcast. We're a time-traveling basement equipment podcast. Wait, basement. Why? We are officially a words fuck-up podcast. Yeah.

As of here, yeah. We're a flubcast. I didn't realize I was having a flubby day until I messed up the beginning of the podcast. Man, I've been able to speak all day. You know what? It wasn't a flub, though, the beginning of the podcast. You needed a vibe sommelier to get you the lead in on that.

My vibe was off. You know, I don't want to go off in a different direction. I don't want to leave where we are right now. But this brings up a point. You being in a good mood and in a talkative mood today, Gavin. I saw, Andrew, let me tell you a little something. I saw Gavin at RT two days ago, I want to say. Okay.

Or maybe it was even yesterday. I don't remember. I came in to film one quick little thing. And Gavin was there. And I said hi to him. And I turned, motherfucker left. He didn't hang out. He didn't check on me me he didn't like spend 30 seconds he just left i left off to work just ignored me and left yeah i don't know i don't there's a lot of i feel like i'm lacking context

to be on your side so you said hi and he said hi not really he was he was on camera and i went over and i said hi to the guys and dipped in and just said hello to the camera and then i walked over and i was hanging out with i was I was hanging out with like other people from age in the same room. And then I realized I'm like, oh, I should probably get going at some point. I turn it. Gavin's nowhere to be seen. I had to go to the podcast.

I had to be a podcast by five. Wait, OK, that's fine. So you were not in a production. You were just hanging out. You said hi while he was in. He was filming something. You're hanging out. I came to he was in he was filming something you're hanging out i came to do a production but i couldn't start until his was over okay and which

wasn't a big deal i was just kind of hanging out and i was in no particular hurry i didn't have anywhere to be uh i just wanted to spend time with my friend gavin just you know just a few pleasantries in person uh because i love him so much and then he jacked me. So what was the distance between you and Gavin for this? Physical distance? Physical distance, as little as one foot when I went over to pop up a camera. When we were hanging out, I would say like 18 feet. Yeah, that's a definite. In an open room.

How much time do you have to get to the podcast, Gavin? When did you leave? I probably had 20 minutes. Oh, God. Did you attempt? Did you at to get to the podcast, Gavin? When did you leave? I probably had 20 minutes. Oh, God. Did you attempt? Did you at least look in the air? Did you just not think of it? Were you in podcast?

No, because it's like a 20-minute ride away. So I'm taking a piss, and then I went to try and get some food. I realized I didn't have time for that, so I just hopped in a little lube. It's a 20-minute drive from where age records to the podcast. It took me about, I think 18 minutes. It's like a really bad time to go anywhere. I would have,

I would, had I known I would have given him a ride over there. I don't know what you're about to be in something. I thought, you know, I'm talking about something. I've got to be somewhere else. You're about to be in something.

I'm Celia. I told you on. No, I don't know. You didn't say see you later. I didn't even get that. See you later. told you no i don't know you didn't say see you later i didn't even get that see you later would have been awesome i missed you see you later was what i was looking for man i don't want to be late i swear to god i turned around and i thought well

gavin doesn't like me anymore i gavin you're taking an interesting approach to this because if i were you i would just say hey i wanted to do that i i had to rush like i felt bad about it you are the way you're phrasing this it's like you made the decision not to it wasn't a thing like it just didn't cross your mind you actively said i don't want to be late i've got time to say hi to jeff was not was this on this monday that this was this previous podcast? Yeah. This was the one where you were like the earliest you've ever been?

If you remember, Eric, if you'll remember, there was one recently where I was like 10 full minutes late. Oh. Right. I'm not. Wait.

Right. But we're talking about you being early. I'm not. Listen, I'm on your side. I appreciate that you left without saying goodbye to your friend, Jeff, and came and did the podcast. right but we're talking about you being early i'm not i'm listen i'm on your side i appreciate that you left without saying goodbye to your friend jeff and came and did the podcast thank you the amount of time that it takes for someone to show up plus the amount of traffic i would say varies by 15 minutes either way it's it's technically even your car. You could have just told me, give me a ride to the podcast in my car.

I need to. Hey, I need to use the car. What does you being late have to do with you now being so early? Is the only way I'm going to get good pleasantry time is for you to be to this show late? Is that how I'll get pleasantries out of you? Am I late to this show? No, but I'm saying you wanted to show up early because you were late to make up for the fact that you were late, right? Is that correct? So I'm saying the only way for me to get you early is if you show up late to this show. That's the

only access to pleasantries. But here, the only thing I have to do is walk to my desk. I actually have to wait for someone to show up and go there. That could be, that's quite a high variable. Well, here's, and it's live. I don't want to make a huge, big deal out of it. I just wanted to say that I'm going to make a promise to all four of you right now

that if I'm ever in the same physical space with you and I know that you're there and I'm there, I care enough about you to come and say hello and goodbye. I will always do that from this point on for the rest of my life. I don't want to make you feel deprioritized in the way that some other people may have felt in the past. This was a twist because I really thought I would end up siding with Gavin, but I'm with you on this, Jeff. I feel like that was a disrespectful

move by Gavin. Intentional or not. I'm like, what am I asking Jack to do a break show here or something? I like that Eric sided with me and then completely sold me out about how early. Right. A hundred percent. Yeah. This again, to reiterate, this is a podcast where we get each other. So, Jeff.

Yeah, buddy. Sorry. I'm sorry. I just left. Oh, no apologies necessary. That's fine. I understand you were busy. And it sounds like you said it in your head. You said, I just left. Oh, no apologies necessary. That's fine. I understand you were busy. And it sounds like you said it in your head.

You said, oh, see you later in your head. So I just wasn't in your head at the moment. Had I been, it would have been no harm, no foul. It is one of those things where to me at the time, I was like, I didn't even consider how it could be rude or how anyone would even miss me leaving. It honestly wasn't. I just thought it was fucking hilarious that I turned around to check on you

and you were gone. I'm like, that motherfucker really just dipped out without even having one second of acknowledgement with his best fucking friend in the world. Okay. Fucking paper best friends over here. I have a question for Jeff and... I don't know who to ask first.

Okay. Ask Gavin. Let's do the, do what? Sorry, what did you say? I couldn't hear you over me. Who am I asking first? I felt like. I say ask Gavin.

Ask Gavin. Okay. Well, Gavin, you were just, you were overseas recently. Yes. I wanted to know. This is very important. I feel like you failed this, is what I'm assuming. How is the Branston pizza?

I couldn't find it. I went, I found it at, what's, what, Papa John's? I found one. Papa John's! Papa? Papa? Papa John's! Papa John's! I found Papa's and, uh,

they weren't, the one I found didn't do it. Ah, that sucks, dude. Wait, did you actually try? Yeah. I was like, did you do the Branston pickle thing? And they're like, we didn't have that one here. Oh, you get way more credit for me. It didn't even cross my mind.

I had the realization that you could do that literally yesterday. So I wrote up my notes assuming I appreciate the effort. Yeah, I did it on the, we were walking around London. We went to, we did an escape room and I just happened to walk by one. I was like, oh my God, let me quickly check something. But no sign of it.

Don't worry about not finding one in England because there is a pizza oven in my backyard with your name on it. We can create the world's best Branston pickle pizza. And if you want, I was thinking about this the other day, my neighbor is a chef

who used to own a fancy pizza restaurant. So if we need help, we could even pull him over, though we don't have to. Yeah, maybe we should get some tips. We have a conduit for excellent pizza if we need it. Or we could just fucking fly blind, do it ourselves, face style. Doesn't matter to me.

But I'm excited about making this Branston Pickle pizza, and I hope we do it soon. I would honestly like to see both. And as we've said, the baseballs and the Beanhole videos are both now out on our YouTube channel. So we have the space to start the next video. They're great videos,

by the way. It's the first time I watched them. Oh yeah, you were excited for Beanhole. What did you think of Beanhole? Beanhole was awesome. They were both really good episodes. A little long. No, I thought it was perfect. Can I use some background music? A little long. No, I thought it was perfect. Can you use some background music a little long? No, I thought it was great. The buildup of the bean reveal

and like trying to be kind of positive about it. Jeff, you just staring for a long time going, I wonder what was wrong. What went wrong here? It was great. They're great videos.

Speaking of bean holes i do have one small thing you guys might have both seen it because it came to me via social media uh so i assume it probably made its way to y'all as well but are you have you guys been made aware of the beanhole festival no i i saw it was the thing but i don't know anything about it please i'll put it in discord we just missed it it was this it was this week oh shit in minnesota there is a in pequot lakes there is a beanhole days come and celebrate beanhole days in pequot lakes july 12th and 13th one of a kind event is a root tootin good for fun for the whole family dude it gets so much better. At 5.30 p.m., they bury the beans on Tuesday.

On Wednesday from 9 to 4, it's a craft fair with food vendors. They also have kids activities, trampoline jump, water wars, kids bungee. And this is all just like beans in the ground time. It's all beans.

Beans are cooking. 11.30 a.m., this is the big event to me. They crown the king and queen bean. That's great. I swear to God me. They crown the king and queen bean. That's great. I swear to God, there is a yearly king and queen bean of Pequot Lakes, Minnesota.

And then at 12 noon, they pick up and serve the beans. I think they crowned. I think you're like, it's a man and a woman. I hope the crown is a bean. I don't know if it is or not. I don't see any pictures.

I was imagining basically like four guys, like a little crown on a little bean. And then because as you do at a bean festival from 12 to two, they have memories of Elvis tribute shows. And then then they have a drive up and pick up to go go to get beans. And you can buy bean shirts and a bean mug. So here's what I'm saying. 2023 is the year of the Beanhole Festival. We go to Beanhole Days.

We make it a big deal. We have a community meetup at Beanhole Days in Pequot Lakes, Minnesota. I'm assuming it'll exist in 2023. The second they announce the dates, let's book our tickets. The week we put out the Beanhole video, and then we missed that by like a...

That was yesterday at the time of this recording. The timing is insane. Damn. I love the fact that there is an Elfist tribute show just in the middle of this. What else could you need at a Beanhole event? Was he a big Beanhole guy? I don't think so.

I think they're limited on whatever entertainment is available in town. It's like, let's go get Gary to dust off his guitar and do the Elvis thing again. There's nothing better than the serving of the beans to then have the memories of Elvis in the background. When I mean beans, I want to reminisce about those great Elvis memories. I wonder if he sings like a hunk, a hunk, a bean in love. You ain't nothing but a bean hole farting all the time dude he could do all kinds of bean related parodies that'd be awesome it'd be like he could be like for all we know that dude is the weird iankovic of beans i'd love if that person

existed i hope that they are if there isn't if they aren't the weird alabins we need to find the weird alabins because they totally agree there's somewhere so anyway uh eric if you could go ahead and put that on the books uh 2023 beanhole days uh i'd like you got it i'll start full cast to go booking tickets or yeah i think there's hotels or do you think it's like a camping thing like a coach you have to sleep in a tent i'm down for either i love the idea you're down to sleep in a tent at the bean festival yeah dude it's fucking win in rome man all right these are simple bean people living a beanie life i want to immerse myself in their world nick said be careful what you pitch it could be oh no what if we pitch our tent right on top of the b-ball

it's probably so important to them to be like putting their ice cream truck over the you're gonna make me pop my stitches

god damn it oh that's fucking funny I really want you to do round two of beads at the bead festival no training no prep just giving it another go live in front of the people maybe we could screen our beanhole video there and then have everyone tell us what we did wrong that's a great idea we can make a beat we oh we've already got a beanhole themed short film 21 minutes of beanhole this is great i can't wait for 2023 yeah i'm pretty jazzed too pretty jazzed too if you're somebody who's in the process of trying to quit smoking or even if you're somebody who

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You have a clip? I've just got a thing to talk about. That's never good. This is scary, because I asked him specifically before we recorded if he had any audio pulled, and he said no.

No, this isn't from our show. This is... Oh, it's too powerful. You going to Slack? I'm going to Slack. Slack. Ah, I don't have Slack set up. Okay.

You don't have Slack? Not on this computer, no. What should I do for you? That's fine. Just do Slack and I'll make it work. This is a moment I had with my cat. So if you can play the video. What the fuck?

It has sound. What Smee does sometimes is he'll just be howling somewhere in the house. And it's because he's got something in his mouth. He used to select... He used to select Beanie Babies from Meg's collection of beanie babies. He'd like pick one each night and put it at our door. Um, he'll do it with socks. Uh, he, he basically just like kills a sock and then wants to show me. So he'll like howl all through the house, try and walk around the house until he finds me and then dump it at my lap. uh i was just sat in my office and he was like howling and

then he he dumped it okay what this is a this is an audio podcast yeah uh gavin followed up a video of a cat walking with a sock in its mouth with a picture of a sock on the ground and the sock has fuck off embroidered on it. I didn't even know that was a pair of socks that Meg had, apparently. I thought that was extremely rude of me. And I just got back as well. I'd been back from England for like an hour.

Told you to fuck off! Oh my God, that's a literal... he legitimately just told you to fuck off and that and how it is in that picture on the floor is exactly how i looked at it like it was the right way up and the facing it's like you do my question is what would be more insulting the fuck off sock or if he walked out with the red one your curse socks i would have been absolutely terrified i would have been to put him outside i would never known what he was playing oh christ i don't think i've ever had my animal communicate to me that way that's fun yeah does your cat not hunt no No, not really.

My cat, being as old as she is, just mainly just lays on a couch and yells at people to sit next to her. That's about all I got as far as my experience. Or she just sleeps. Not a lot of action going on. Definitely no hunting. I want to get maybe just 26 pairs of socks

with different letters on and see if he starts writing. Just do like a really, because it averages out to about one a day, like one kill a day. And it basically be like the slowest Ouija board of all time. Dude, what you could do, you should definitely try that. But then also just get a bunch of socks with words on them, like verbs and nouns and adjectives, and then he could write you a short story.

One word at a time. What words would I have? How many socks am I having to buy here? You'd probably buy a hundred pairs of socks. Okay. With different stuff on them. So maybe the hundred most frequently used words? Yeah, but then the short story is going to pay for

it so like we'll sell it you'll be able to make your money back what's really important you got to record the meows like when it's when when he's howling uh that'll be the audiobook you need to put all those together for the audiobook of your story we're gonna cover all markets eric has oh no he unsent it the hundred 100 most common words in English. That's exactly what we need. I just figured that would help you with your cat adventure or whatever. You never know. Okay, so I need to.

It could be like, you know, 31, 287, 46. Like, you don't know what it's going to be. But the cat is going to have a good time. Should I have the ability to rearrange the words after I've been brought enough? Or do I have to take it in his order? I think it's in his order. Oh, okay. Yeah. the words after I've been brought enough? Or do I have to take it in his order? I think it's in his order. It's his vision. Yeah. Let's see what kind of a writer he is first.

Let's see how eloquent the cat is. We might have to do some... I think one of the most commonly used words is word. Should we sell as a product a sock of the month club where every month you get a different one of the hundred most common words in America on your sock and then it's over in a hundred weeks? You can get that set. I don't know why anyone would need that outside of this very specific case in which Gavin is having his cat.

I don't know if anyone would want a sock with cum written on it. How many socks in the world are there? Or socks. How many cats in the world are there? Or socks. How many cats in the world are there? We could start a trend. I don't know. I just want to make stuff with my socks now. Maybe I'm an audience of one,

but if there was a service I could buy to get the 100 most common words one at a time on socks, I would subscribe. And it's one a week. Yeah, or one a month even. Whatever. So two years of socks.

Two years of socks. I love the idea of Jeff opening his box of socks, getting his one pair and being like, can you believe Gong is in the top 100? I would have never guessed this. Can you believe the excitement around... Oil! Oil!

Why do people talk about oil so much? It's like a little present every month. Oh, oil didn't make the cut this year. Must have been a bad year for oil. I don't know what happened. Tough year. Dropped off. Not enough oil talk this year. I think if we made it f*** face based, like that's 100 most frequently used

words of f*** face, then it'd be a much more interesting collection because you'd have Kenan and Kel written on some socks. That has to be the most mentioned thing i would say yeah i would think so tuxedo's gotta be getting up there tuxedo oh i have a really important question about about the tuxedo and my get out of greg free card i just had this thought because we got it it's all secure well we don't have we bought, we don't have it. We bought it. We don't have it. It hasn't shipped yet.

There's part of me that is terrified that somehow it will get fucked up in shipping. Can I use my get out of Greg free card on the tuxedo itself? Or is that exempt from the cart? Well, how have you Greg the tuxedo? Well, I haven't yet. But I'm saying if somehow I did in the ship. But if something happens to the tuxedo in transit that won't be your fault and you wouldn't need to use the card well i'm saying if like the

wrong address was somehow there if i filled out something wrong i didn't but i'm just paranoid i'm paranoid that this is somehow gonna blow up in my face if you're not able to rectify it then yeah i think you would be able to use the okay so the card applies to the tuxedo I gained it from successfully doing the tuxedo but I could still potentially use it on a tuxedo Greg I would hate for you to get it for successfully getting the tuxedo and

lose it for fucking it up in the handoff like it just seems like a real waste it would get out of Greg free card and I also have some plans I have some plans for that fucking tuxedo hear me out uh have you guys ever looked at the tuxedo movie poster yes i think we might want to consider i was thinking like now we have this amazing tuxedo uh how what can we do with it right i think what we could do is potentially recreate this movie poster with

Gavin in the tuxedo and VCK on the boot of his shoe. And then I, I could be Jennifer Love Hewitt in the pants suit. And then Andrew could be like represented in the, in the, like the wall water strider computer thing in the background. And then we could make our, like, but I could just say our tuxedo.

Now this I like. This I fully support. It's a great idea. And he's clearly up in the air. Yeah. During that picture. So we could even make use of the harness holes. Oh yeah.

Yeah. That's a great point. Like, wouldn't it be amazing to recreate this fucking, this exact movie poster also i don't know why we haven't talked about this yet but entertaining and fun has got to be the lamest pull quote in the history of film if you're if you're just listening to this there's a the tuxedo movie poster look it up it's got tuxedo and big letters. It's got Jackie Chan doing a karate kick

in his VCK boots. Jennifer Love Hewitt is like bemused in the background with her arms folded like, oh, Jackie, he's at it again. And then right below his feet in huge, bigger than the name Jackie Chan, bigger than Jennifer Love Hewitt, a little bit smaller than Tuxedo.

It just says in quotes, entertaining and fun. That's like... You know it's pulled from a quote that's like, you would hope a movie starring Jackie Chan and a Tuxedo would at a minimum be entertaining and fun, but here we are. And they're like, got it.

Entertaining and fun. That's what we needed. I wish I still had my DVD. I owned a lot of shitty movies. I'd love to go through and try to just find the worst one of those because they all have them. I'm always curious the process of like how you get contacted for that. Like Kangaroo Jack probably has one of those on the box. Did they like production reach out to that review? What is the do you get paid for having your

quote on that box if so how much you do you do not uh well i i can speak from rooster teeth uh uh specifically uh let me see if i can find it what all you got to do is just take it and put it on okay my favorite shitty back when i'd get dvds all the, you always look at the back for like special features and you knew they were reaching when the top thing was interactive menu. Great. This like maybe the trailer and interactive menu top two, you know, there's nothing it's useless surround sound.

Are you trying to find a box that you were quoted on in some capacity? Jeff? Oh, I was looking for an old, for the original. We used to have a quote. I can't find it. I just didn't want to misquote it. Wasn't this one for the BBC?

The one that's up there is BBC. But when we initially made it, I think it may be on the back somewhere. Or maybe we replaced it at some point. And I'm going to butcher this story because it's an old fucking story but uh we got a review from the village voice and i think the guy the guy who reviewed it said it was like clerks meet star wars uh like but but is was the quote we pulled and put on you know quote clerks meet star wars quote because we thought that was hilarious but what he really said was like every time you get a bunch of idiots that don't know what they're doing together they try to make clerks meet star wars

so we were like perfect thank you and we put that up and then i guess uh years later some that dude was a professor and some student who was an rt fan was like hey you're on the cover of of this dvd that i love and he's like let me see it and he was like those son of a bitches they misquoted it. While I was in England, you remember a while ago we were talking about a bunch of ideas that we didn't do for RTX,

but one of them was to have everyone write or draw the Ian on the wall. And then I talked about how at my nursery school, they did a tea towel with everyone and everyone had

their self-portraits on. I went to my grandparents' house and look what I found. Oh my god. Where is it? Is it in Slack? This should be in Discord. I don't see it. It's not there yet. Hit send. This is how I always fuck it up. Gavin.

Where is it? I mean, it should be there. Yeah, this is what I... Every time I try to do something, this is how it goes. You guys always make fun of me. Slack. Looking at slack now uh it'd be funny if he just redirected us back to slack to say fuck off that was all

I'm just okay oh here it is oh nursery school let's find Gavin see if you can find me all right don't wait so this is supposed to be faces what is this supposed to be

we all we all we all got told to draw ourselves and you can see the ones at the top are the much younger kids like they look like

dog shit and we're all getting older as it goes down have you found me yet I really want to meet Harriet I found you I found you

so is it is it above you or below you it's above you or below you? It's above you. Yeah, I've got you. Abby. I like Abby a lot.

Abby's got a whole Mr. Potato Head going on. Dude, Luke looks like a fucking dickhead with eyeballs. Some of them are so funny. I didn't give myself a buddy. I got legs coming straight out of my chin. Did you find Gavin yet? I did! I just found him.

For everybody who's looking for him, he's on the left. Midway. Yeah, I circled him for you as well. Oh, me. Not him. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Can we make this... Can we put this on something? Just you. I don't want the rest of them. Can we make this? Can we make, can we put this on something? Just you. I don't want the rest of them.

Can we make, can we make a face detail? The pics, it's honestly the rest of us draw, but we do use yours from second grade. What is your fucking, what is this little black? What is that hat?

Is that a hat? That's your hair. I thought you got a little hat going so you've got a little t-rex arms coming out of your ears so honestly like drawing that is one of my earliest memories i must have been i must have been like two or three years old so if you're gonna instruct three i love it so much if you wanted to describe this to somebody Just listening if they wanted to attempt The draw how would you describe the standard arms

Uh he's got standard Ear arms and chin legs And hairball I'd love If people want to try to draw based off of that I would love to see what those look like I just love the progression. You can see the ones on the bottom are

the people just about to leave nursery. And the people on the top are the ones who've just arrived. God, yeah. Poor Nicola. Yeah, so 1991. I was two or three. Oh, wow. Do you have anything that you did of that age?

I do. I need to see if I can find it. I drew, I found a thing a few months ago that was like me drawing me and my family, and it looks terrifying. It has absolute Harriet vibes. If I can find it, I'll share it two weeks from now when we record again.

Smoke monster vibes. It is. Yeah. It's like kind of some face outlines and then smoke monster everywhere. I like I think my favorite one is Joseph. The one right next to me. Let's see. Let's go back.

Joseph's is good. He's got his is the most like Jeff's Jeff's version of your instructions. The head above it. His is the most like Jeff's Jeff's version of your instructions Where the face was like off the head Hanging above it Look at Luke right above Could you imagine Yeah I'm telling you it's a profile Of a penis

I like making fun of all these like real people Who have no idea I would do worse I want to meet Jeff Here's a question for you You've probably already met him No, I mean, this is... I would do worse. I want to meet Jethro. Here's a question for you, Gavin. You've probably already met him. Here's a question for you.

Do you think anybody on this towel is dead? Oh, they must be. Yeah, probably, right? Yeah, I think statistically a few of them have died. Do you think it was Thomas? I hope not. I hope it's not Heather. Heather had pretty eyes.

I like the idea of any one of these committing a crime in real life and having to try to give that description as the witness. Eight foot legs lying right down the middle of their face. I also love the idea of this being a legal issue because we're using people's likeness. And they didn't sign the release and technically using people's likeness i just want to look at these forever they're so good we have to do this we have to do this at rtx yeah we have yeah i think it'd just be such a nut and it was always a thing that they said to the parents like i remember my parents had it in blue and my grandparents had it in black and they they like displayed it proudly like it was always a thing that they said to the parents. Like, I remember my parents had it in blue and my grandparents had it in black. And they displayed it proudly. This throughout my entire childhood

was like dangled over the radiator by the dining room table. So like, I could always see it. That's so good. It is. I wish this was a tradition in America. I wish I could say that I had one of these from... Yeah, it's quite a cute tradition.

77 or whatever it would have been. That's great. That's really cool, man. I really do want to make some version of this. Have you seen Ross? Ross? Where's Ross? Near you? Above? Below? Based on this, he might be dead. He's

below me. He's on the line below towards the right. Oh, God. He's all the line below towards the right. Oh, God. He's all chopped up. Oh, Ross. Ross. What happened, man? I wonder where he started because the legs are great.

The legs were fantastic. Did a great job on those. But unfortunately, the rest of them is in pieces going the other way. Yeah. And to the right of Ross It looks like somebody Honestly it looks like somebody shot Joanne right in the chest You can tell the more advanced students Were able to write their own names as well

I clearly wasn't at that level of Being able to spell my name You're there now though I can do it now yeah That's incredible I love these I'm gonna just honestly when we're done When I have free time I'm just gonna look at this You're there now, though. I can do it now, yeah. You did it. Wow. That's incredible. I love these. I'm going to just, honestly, when we're done, when I have free time, I'm just going to look at this.

Carly made a melty happy face. That's pretty cute. Steven made a little kitty cat, kind of. All right, we should move on for this entirely virtual segment. Yeah, sorry. Nick, feel free to cut all that out. Or some of it up. Are we posting?

Is that okay to post or not? Do we have to remove that? I think so. Okay, it's okay to post. I mean, do you want me to cut the school name out or does it matter?

I don't think it matters. Okay. All right. Well, then, yeah, people could look at this on our Instagram. It might be more interesting for anyone who listens

that just happened to go to the same nursery school as me and had no idea. Oh, that's wild. That'd be cool. I'll post the one that... If you're on the tea towel and not dead, let us know. Yeah, we'd love to hear about your memories of making the tea towel.

And if you knew Gavin during his quiet period. Yeah, or just if you're Harriet, really want to meet Harriet. yeah or just if you're harriet really want to meet harriet um that kind of leads me to what i was gonna ask jeff i feel like 40 minutes ago when i said i had a question for both of you oh rtx happened yeah uh how are the grown tubes what happened with that well let me tell you something let me tell you something right now. The Grown Tubes were, in my estimation, the biggest success in the history of RTX. Wow.

If you're a regulation listener, a comment lever, who came to us from iTunes or however you found us on Spotify and you're not intimately familiar with Rooster Teeth as an organization, we do a yearly convention in July here in Austin, Texas, and at the convention center, I think like Comic-Con, but way smaller, but awesome. And this year, we released the Grown Tubes there, and they sold out pretty instantly, and I saw them constantly. And I did the, I will say I did the Off Topic, which is another podcast Rooster Teeth does. It was like the podcast to end RTX.

which is another podcast rooster does it was like the the podcast to end rtx and so when i got there i i was like let's hear the fucking grown tubes and we had everybody doing them so much that it made michael so fucking mad michael's the guy who runs that podcast that he went over and told the guardians to kick anybody out who grown tube for the rest of the fucking podcast and i think he was serious i think he was like really angry which I told the audience you've done your job thank you like I was like it's not every day that I get an op I get the opportunity to actually annoy him and so uh it was a huge fucking victory uh and a bit of a bit of a bucket list if I'm being honest with you so what did they all sound like all together I mean was it just like a constant groan or was it like a bunch of people were they all timed right or was it just no no it's a big mess it just it sounded like it would come in waves

where it would like start quiet and then get loud and then get quiet and get loud because people were like turning them over none of them were like consistent or at the same time so it was like a cacophony of just wow and it never stopped it was was crazy. You know what's interesting, too? I told you guys last time I did that event in Atlanta, and I signed a ton of baseballs. I don't think I signed maybe two or three at RTX. It was weird. It was not a baseball town, I guess.

So I don't know if this means we're not a baseball equipment podcast anymore, but I definitely signed a lot of Zimmers. They were out in droves. That's great. Have you gotten one of the grown tubes gavin yeah i'll go on it's amazing how much the the plastic silences them i didn't like i kept mine within the plastic case it came in as what do you mean it's a it's plastic no but but you

know like it came it came in a in a plastic wrap. It was wrapped in plastic. And I just had been using it in that. I still have it in it. And I took it out. I could not believe how much it silenced it. Those are fucking loud. I was kind of disappointed at first that they're kind of quiet.

But they're loud. I will say, compared to the grown chips I had as a kid, they have much shorter travel time. Yeah? Yeah, these are like, what? Like less than a second? I swear i had one that was like like a real long one it wasn't it wasn't physically longer it just moved slower like it was packed in tighter or something yeah now are you sure this is true or is this like a rose tinted glasses thing it could be bad it could be

when i had legs coming out my chin and a ball on my head glasses thing if you're looking back. It could be. You remember fondly your first worldview. When I had legs coming out of my chin and a ball on my head. It sounded a lot longer. I'm glad that they were a success and that they were annoying in a great way. And by the way, I spoke to so, so, so, so many

regulation listeners and so many comment leavers and it was a genuine joy to meet you all. Thanks for coming up and saying hi and taking a photo or making fun of Gavin or whatever you did for me. I really appreciate it. And thanks for coming out and supporting RTX. It was really cool. There were so,

so, so many there were so many fuckers out there. It was awesome. It made me so happy to see all the photos from the meetup. The first, Oh yeah. The meetup was, meetup was awesome.

I went to the meetup. I, uh, I, here's what, I'll tell you one thing. I got fucking tongue tied there for a second. Uh,

I went to the meetup. I wasn't supposed to do anything. I just heard, and I wanted to show up and say hi and say thank you to everybody. And Jack told me about it. He goes, Hey, did you hear there's a meetup?

And I was like, yeah, of course. He's like, I'm gonna go check it out. And I was like, cool, we can go together. And then the meetup came and Jack was nowhere to be found. Ran into him like an hour later. And Emily was like, hey, I missed you at the meetup, buddy. And he was like, oh, yeah, forgot about that. Isn't that around here somewhere?

I don't know. And he just kept going. Like he prioritizes the break show. I think Jack's just on another level. He's screwing with us on a level that's... He... What? Yeah, he's functioning on some level above us.

And I've started functioning on a much lower level, apparently. Yeah. Is it... Is the cat in the room with you are you feeling nervous the stock's still here though also rtx related you did a panel with bobby lee oh yeah which i didn't know face or something different no it was he was just there i i know i i would never cross bobby lee with rtx in my head like i was surprised to see him there but i was excited about it i was when

you i think you tweeted you you're gonna do a panel with him and i was like holy shit bobby lee is there it's a great draw how did that go what was that experience like uh i'll be honest with you it was uh it was like a highlight of my career. Um, he, I did not really know what to expect. And it was, uh, one of those things where I kind of came together at the last minute and they were like, Hey, will you, do you want to do a panel with Bobby? And I was like, yeah, absolutely. What do you guys, what do you want to do? And they're like, you figure it out. So I wasn't quite sure how to do that. Uh, but I, I like a challenge and I'm, I'm bad at saying no to stuff. So I was like, fuck yeah to do that. But I like a challenge.

And I'm bad at saying no to stuff. So I was like, fuck yeah, I'll figure it out. And then so he flew in. And I met him for lunch so that we could build up some form of rapport before we performed together for the first time. So maybe two hours before the event, we went and had lunch downtown. And I don't know what to say other than uh, so like an hour, maybe two hours before the event, we went and had lunch downtown. And,

uh, I don't know what to say other than, um, he might be the most spiritually, uh, aligned with face out of any other person I've ever met in my entire life. Like it was weird. He, uh,

we, we sat down and we had the lunch. We started to kind of riff off of each other and get to know each other. Then we got into an argument about how the lunch was going. And then we both agreed to had the lunch. We started to kind of riff off of each other and get to know each other. Then we got into an argument about how the lunch was going and then we both agreed to rate the lunch so that we could see where we both sat on the spectrum. But then we couldn't figure out a rating system and then we

argued over the rating system of 1 to 10 for a while and then we finally agreed and then we rated the lunch differently and then that made us fight and then we did a panel together and it was one of the funniest panels i've ever done and then he was we were pretty much attached at the hip for the next two days i just like kind of had had meals with him and hung out with him and uh he's just a really funny lovely dude and i probably this is probably

too early to say stuff like this but but he fucking I don't care. I'm unprofessional. Fuck. I got him to agree to do a podcast. So with me. So we're going to do like a I don't know if it'll be I mean, obviously, faces sacrosanct. We don't touch it. But at least like a couple times a year, I'll do some sort of shoulder content podcast with Bobby Lee that I don't know if it'll live in the face universe.

If you guys wanted, it can or it can be just in the larger roost teeth. teeth but yeah he's he's a he's a lunatic in all the right ways I was worried that you weren't doing enough podcast so that's a relief how do I say no to doing a podcast with Bobby Lee though no that's fair uh I'm curious so when you reviewed the lunch how did you deliver because in my head that'd be a problem of the person who says it first is then sort of guiding the response review. Was it a situation which you both said at the same time? Or did you like write it? We both kind of said it at the same time.

I said eight. He said eight and a half. And there was a vast difference between eight and eight and a half in our minds. And he was highly insulted by what I thought eight was. Sounds like he's heavy on regulation. He's pretty heavy on regulation, yeah. I would say that. He's a regulation dude, for sure.

You're going with Andrew pretty well by the sounds of it. You know, it was funny, because I was thinking to myself, as I was kind of it uh you know it was it was funny because i was thinking to myself uh as i was kind of like you know just spending the weekend with him explaining rooster teeth to him and showing him around and all that stuff i realized i'm kind of uniquely prepared for this because i've been working with andrew for a very long time and i feel like i feel like it's just like it's created this level of patience and babysitting that I can do. I just slid right in.

Yeah, it was easy. I was like, oh, I know this. He paddled the training. It was cool, though. It was cool. It's awesome. He's a funny dude. Yeah, he's hilarious.

Love Bobby Lee. So we're saying that we don't ever have guests on F*** Face, but if we did and we were to break that rule, he'd be great for it. I think he's the first person I've ever met that I thought would be, that could work, uh, in face,

but I'm not saying we should do that, but I, but you know, if you guys wanted to do like, like, like a side thing, we could do that. Huh?

Sounds good. You know, kind of like we do the kind of like we like speaking of side stuff, kind of like we're supposed to do MVP 2 yes I can't wait for that whatever set the date Eric what do we do we don't have fucking time for this right now let's let's wrap up this episode we have another one

to record are you out of your fucking minds Jesus Christ you heard it here folks if you've been asking for MVP 2 so have we but Eric right here told us we can't do it we have But Eric right here told us to fuck off. We can't do it. We have MVP, too. So thanks for listening.

We have to do more break shit. Like, you're out of your fucking mind. You think we're going to schedule it in the next four minutes. We got to do stuff with Bobby Lee now, too. Thanks for listening to F*** Face. I really want to do that MVP, too. But you heard it. Eric said no.

We'll see you next week. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Jeff talks shaving. Andrew betrays the group. Again. Let's talk about Survive Block Island. Blue Bell Ice Cream is responsible for multiple people dying.

Gavin has the strangest snacks. We just spun into Chipville. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.