F**kface - A Walking Stupid Contradiction // Our Tubes Will Groan Out the Sun [108]

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Geoff listening to Episode 107, Clip paranoia, F**kstick groan tubes, Meowwolf, spelling bee, and What to call a group of podcasters. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face), and Fum (https://www.breathefum.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Why is Andrew thrown off? He was trying to do a book club or something, and then suddenly he stopped in the middle of it. Because nobody showed up. Typically, Eric will show up 10 minutes before, and Nick showed up like four minutes before, so I feel like I'm still in pleasantries. I did not expect it to be one.

You're only at four minutes of pleasantries? We're only four minutes of pleasantries, and we're mainly just talking about... That's going to throw you in the hole. I'm four minutes off this whole show. Yeah, we'll have to let it roll for another four minutes at the end just so you can finish up. No Eric today, as a matter of fact.

He let us know ahead of time. He's got to do dual duty on some other podcast or some shit. It's a bit weird that we still do it at the same time as the other podcast. Yeah, well, I believe that was at your insistence, right? You said at the same time as the other podcast yeah well i believe that was at your insistence right you said you never wanted to do that other podcast again and you had so you would only do this one if we scheduled it during the exact same time that's exactly what i

said that is true i remember that hello hello hello hello and welcome to another episode of the face podcast i believe i believe i don't have eric here this week oh no never mind nick got it to me uh this is episode 108 this is season four andrew what year is this uh 2022 three thank you gavin you nailed it volume one the 108th episode my name is Jeff Ramsey with me as always Andrew Patton and Gavin Free and I hope you guys are doing well today boy do I we got a few

things to talk about I haven't spoken to you guys in a week I'd love to catch up and let me tell you I right out of the way I just want to get this over with right out of the way you know I don't listen to our podcast I try, I just want to get this over with. Right out of the way. You know I don't listen to our podcast. I try not to hear me ever, if I can avoid it. I get on my nerves so fucking quick.

It's unbelievable. That's such a wild thing to say as somebody who is on three podcasts currently. As somebody who hates podcasts you're on you cannot stop making them so here's the thing i gotta make a living right daddy daddy's gotta that's fair keep the lights on but uh uh also um i think we've established at this point that the three podcasts i'm on are my only forms of social interaction so it's just how i maintain my relationships with people that are important to me and uh imagine if you just like recorded every conversation you had with your mom and then like a week later you listen to the conversation you guys had after dinner on a wednesday night

you'd be like i sound like a fucking idiot coming next month on roosterteeth.com my mom and i are not i love my dearly. We are not doing a podcast together. That is what we call a non-starter. Anyway, so I listened to the podcast the other day. And it was episode 106. And I don't know why. I was just in a really good mood. And I thought, let's ruin that. Let's listen to yourself. And I found it to be so charming. And I enjoyed it so much. There was a little conversation we had about getting homes buying homes and then getting a home inspected and then andrew had this idea for a vibe inspector to come and check out your home and make sure the vibe fit which i thought was so fucking funny i laughed about it all day long it just kept popping up in my head and i just kept laughing about it i asked if we could get like a vibe inspector

shirt made which i really sounds kind of creepy actually now that I think about it yeah it's very close to those like female body inspectors right right yeah you don't like it you don't want that right but you know I was thinking in the terms of like checking out a house yeah as it was framed in our episode anyway so I go through the episode and I'm actually I'm actually thinking to myself I should listen to this more often this isn't that bad and then i stepped in and i brought up then i brought up the idea i had for us and and in one second illustrated why i am the dumbest stupidest most idiotic, most useless person on earth in the year of 2022. I present the idea to you guys that everybody should pick the thing that they think they're the best in the world at, right?

Yeah, I have a nice clip for this moment. Yeah, you don't need it. You don't need it because I'm covering it, but it'll help. I then proceed to give you guys the two things that i think i'm the best in the world at as examples and also tell you there's no way i'm the best in the world at this this is utter bullshit and then a week later and i i was coming off the episode so i remembered it was fresh in my head 107 we then have to present our homework clearly i forgot clearly even after andrew reminded me i didn't do it I forgot so I just

did said the first two things that popped in my head which were my examples that were lies that I admitted were lies to the audience the week before completely earnestly like suddenly suddenly I had best in the world confidence where it didn't exist the week before is the only answer I can give you but holy shit that's it I can't ever listen to the podcast again, or I'll never be able to open my mouth. I'll never be able to open my mouth because I am a walking stupid contradiction. We did some of the best, and on my part, unintentional gaslighting I've ever seen. It was so immensely impressive. Basically, what we came up with was that Jeff assigned a piece of homework, and I added on to it. And then the next time we talk about it, I'm reading the homework that I helped Jeff assign as if I'm reading it for the first time. It was.

And Andrew is the only sane one in the whole thing. I've prepared a clip. Would you like to hear it? Please? I was. Yes. I was infuriated last week because you guys are throwing me under the bus for the thing. I had no pardon.

I was just trying to help you two this is a little clip from from 107 followed by a little dreamy sound effect and then immediately following the week before here we go we had homework the last show yeah what's your homework what did you what was your homework andrew do it my homework well the homework you assigned for all of us was that we had to come up with what we were the best in the world at, and what we thought the other members of this podcast might be the best in the world at. I don't really understand the homework. Podcast

homework reminder that we said we would think about what we are best in the world at, and what we think others would be best at. But you meant other people on this podcast. I did. I don't even remember assigning the homework, so I don't really give a shit. This is Andrew homework.

No, this is Jeff homework. It feels like Andrew homework. The end of the last episode we recorded, you're like, homework for all of us. This is what we'll do, and we'll talk about it on the next thing. And then Gavin said, the way you just said that, it sounds like something you would say. You're the worst.

I feel like we should all think about what we're the best in the world at. Maybe that's an angle we should take with the podcast. Should we come up with our own things that we think we're best at or should we come up with us plus the other two? I think both. I literally, I can't explain the weird void that happens

where as soon as I press stop on this podcast, I can't remember anything we talked about. I am, I'm pretty well versed in f*** face. Like I've listened to everyone. I've proved everyone. I know everything that's happened while I'm recording something and everything except the previous week. There's just this weird void where I have no idea what was said because I haven't proved it yet. It's so bizarre. I was reading it as though I'd never heard that in my life and I said it.

Said the same thing with the pencil. That's me with the pencil. I genuinely forgot I ever said that. It started with the pencil. Do you think it's protection? Do you think our brains are trying to protect us by immediately flushing the brain toilet

the second we hit stop on the episode? If I haven't proofed the previous one at the time of a recording, it doesn't exist to me, and I can't explain why. Totally agree. Can I talk about why I'm an idiot in relation to this? I have a whole other layer of why I'm the dumbest person in the world. to this so i have a whole other layer of why i'm the dumbest person in the world gavin in the face slack yesterday said hey what is the preview out for the episode that will come out this upcoming week which they've heard by now but you wanted the preview because you said you needed to grab

something from it yeah historically it's always been weaponized against me there's only one other time i could think of when it wasn't aimed at me and it was jeff's fucking up an ad by spelling the wrong word and i'm doing the ads why you gotta it can't be you spelling so i was like it's just me i guess i was like i was convinced i texted gavin last night so what are you gonna use against me and his silence was deafening i was convinced that he had something lined up for me he replied this morning i'm like oh i could play that game So what are you gonna use against me and his silence was deafening? He had something lined up for me he replied this morning. I'm like oh I could play that game, too I ain't gonna reply and I'm gonna just say some bullshit in our slack saying could you please pull audio from Jeff in this random episode?

Hey Gavin in this one. I had no audio pulled Yeah, that was paranoid that you guys had something, so I was trying to flip it. I was trying to make you paranoid about what I might have, but it's the first time your fucking audio is on my side. It was on me. Yeah, guys, you're one with me. I would happily use audio against

you, but I was listening to that last week, and I just thought, I have to bury myself. I have to use this audio against me and Jeff, because it is horrendous. I appreciate it because it was I felt like a crazy person last week when you guys were like, God, this is some bullshit homework by you throwing it all on me. I didn't I didn't care if we did it. It was just trying to be supportive.

You said now that the funny thing there is I was totally just fucking with you. Like, oh, I do. I remember assigning the homework and all that at that point. I just assumed Gavin was along for the gag. I just thought we were both in on the joke. I'm just extremely unintelligent. So, Gavin, you're an idiot that way. I have zero integrity, and I'm just a bald-faced liar.

And then, Andrew, you're back to parody you're in a new paranoid era which is scary because I do not I'll be honest guys I do not want to go back into the new age of paranoia it was too much oh but that sounds like such a great subtitle for a season the new age of

paranoia season five face I was really excited Andrew in the slack wrote this is super short notice so if it's possible no if it's not possible no worries but could someone pull something gavin said in episode 98 i also need something jeff said in 101 i like that you just are so vague like there's no time codes and i'm just like and now i'm uh yeah i'm slightly disappointed that you got you got no audio weapon my hope was that maybe one of you would listen to it and try to find the thing.

Like, that was my long shot would be funny, but I was just trying to create paranoia because I was convinced what you had would be used against me in some capacity. What a waste. I didn't need to do that. I'm sorry, Nick. Goddamn.

I immediately reached out to Nick and was like, no, I don't need anything. I'm just being dumb. Fine games. I love that we have one bit that was honestly not even a good bit. A fucking five minute bit

that turned into three separate instances of us being idiots. Aye, aye, aye. You never know where the good bits will be, because I'm going to be honest with you. When you said let's all make salads internally, I was like, I don't know why we're doing this, but I'll do it because you want to.

I support this. And we went salad cream. I fucked that up in a whole. Or was that unrelated to the salad? Was that a side? How much salad content have we made? Was that adjacent? Was that salad cream content that became salad content? Or was that part of the make your salad content have we made? Was that adjacent? Was that salad cream content that became salad content?

Or was that part of the make your salad content? You're going way too far back in the vault for me. That's fair. Gavin, you pretend to remember stuff. What do you think? Nick says it was separate. What was that? Gavin, are you okay?

Yeah, it's like seven seconds. There was silence like you're waiting for Nick's approval. That's very weird. Please keep that in, Nick. That was a very strange long silence pause video. I thought you had a connection issue. It was pretty long, wasn't it? It was so long!

Nick was scared! Even Nick was scared. God, speaking of scared. Go ahead. Should you and I talk about how the universe is scared that you and I will ever spend any time together? They're back at it. It's not the weather this time, though. Oh, God.

Damn it. I don't know if we talked about it on the podcast yet or in personal conversations, Andrew. But Gavin and I and our our significant others, his girlfriend, Meg and my girlfriend, Emily, we had all decided we we've been talking for months and months and months about going to Las Vegas together and having like a weekend in Vegas together. And we finally fucking scheduled it. And so we were going to like and it was for this weekend right so um it was uh the way i had it scheduled or i had it set up is because it's the nba finals

emily and i were gonna get up first thing friday morning and we were gonna fly to boston and then friday night we were gonna watch game four of the finals as my birthday present from emily we're gonna uh she was gonna get us uh awesome seats and i would get to watch game four of the finals as my birthday present from Emily. She was going to get us awesome seats and I would get to watch the Celtics play in the finals, which is like a, you know, a dream come true for me. And I've only got to do it once before in my life. And that was with Jack. So talk about an update to see with Emily. And and then we were going to go to bed and then get up first thing Saturday morning and fly to Las Vegas and meet Gavin and Meg in Las Vegas. I was so excited for this. We're going to spend two days together. We got hotels, rooms in the same place. We were going to do like I thought they came up with this clever idea. We're going to

do one thing they really want to do, one thing we want to do. So Emily got tickets to see Shin Lim and go to a magic show so I can heckle. And then which is what I want to do. And she likes magic. And then Gavin and Meg wanted to go do some escape escape rooms so we were gonna go do that and it was just like it was shaping up to be the perfect weekend last night last night emily tested positive for covid no i couldn't believe because the universe was like whoa whoa whoa wait a minute who's gonna have fun with who no no fuck you fuck you is what the universe said i was literally like wow i'm actually looking forward to a trip for the first time that you know there is no work trip or me going to see my family it's like a this is a real vacation trip i can't believe oh never mind yeah it's a i i and i know and emily

is heartbroken obviously and i feel terrible for her and she feels so guilty for getting covid which is you know totally not her fault because everybody seems to get it at some point or other but uh it's a it's kind of luckily i was i was telling emily i've the universe has uh been aware of me for long enough that stuff getting canceled no longer affects me it's like okay whatever i get it just you know it's just me stepping in shit in the backyard again no problem it's just a new version of that right i'm supposed to be in the shit uh of course right and uh so it's no big deal to me i'm just like i will get them next time champ but uh but she was pretty heartbroken about it and uh i hope that we can do it again in the future but but maybe we can't, like, plan a universe or something?

Like, we can't let on to the universe that we're trying to spend time together? Not to go too far back, but how you framed that just gave me a thought that I've never had before. You said you wanted to see a magic show. What was the other thing? Escape rooms.

No, that was Gavin's thing. I thought you said tooth. Oh, I was going to heckle. I want to heckle said tooth. Oh, I was going to. I was going to. I want to heckle the magician. Oh, I see. So your thing was magicians. Yeah. And the thing that Gavin and Meg were excited about were traveling to a place to get locked

into a room that you have to try to leave from. With your wits. Like the premise of an escape. Like, I know they're fun. They're great. But like the idea of like having the first escape room and trying to convince somebody that's fun feels like a real exercise because the premise is you go to a place i'm gonna lock you in this room and you're not gonna be able to immediately leave you're gonna have to try to solve clues to leave this space have fun especially you're gonna pay

me for this considering at least in my mind the genesis of this whole escape room craze was from that movie the cube where people just woke up and then they had to get out and every time they tried they died like it's such a dark beginning uh i was looking forward to it though i like escape rooms i think they're a blast oh they're great meg was really looking forward to the magician and uh i had to because magic she loves it it makes her cry for some reason she explained it but uh i had to warn her about the fact that the experience of seeing a magician with jeff is going to be a completely different experience with his how i just get into it man

I just get into it, man. Listen, I've performed on stage. Performers feed off of energy. You want to give good energy. You want them to know you're entertained and amazed by what they're doing. I know you share a deep fandom for Norm Macdonald, Jeff. Have you ever seen the compilation of him when he was hosting the youtube comedy festival with like sarah silverman was there i don't remember whose co-hosts were but they had a magician come on as like one of the acts that guy is a netflix show i don't remember his name now but he did this trick where like he put this giant this giant glass into a box and it exploded was like the trick and it cut one of the hosts it

was a disaster and it explodes and norm mcdonald's response was to say this guy's a fucking sorcerer like he got so nervous about it it was great it sounds like what your experience is it's so fucking funny just hear me say this you got cut that's what happens when you put a fucking sorcerer on set what do we expect i have a wizard here it's great i'll set it to you i'll say i am halfway through with his his uh posthumous uh special that's on netflix right now and i had to turn it off because it was making me cry was it sad yeah it's just like it's just him like the night before I think a surgery, and he was like, I got to get all this out just in case, you know?

And then he looks very ill, and he's very sweet and very funny, and he's just going off the top of his head, and there's no audience or no crowd. So it's a bit awkward at times, but more than anything, you just like, you just see in this, what appears to someone who

didn't know him as a gentle brilliance and in just such a fragile state uh it was just really really kind of heartbreaking and it didn't kill him then did it he died much later than that yeah he died over about a year after that yeah yeah wow i had i because i got to see him at the theater in town and it's like one of the favorite my favorite shows i've ever seen and i would constantly ever since that point i probably saw that in like 2014 i would constantly look at their schedule and be like oh is he gonna come into town like that would be so exciting i love he's one of my favorite comedians and i recently like a week ago went on the website just to see what it is it's always all cover bands it's terrible the booking is awful it's just cover bands but it's i had this weird realization even though he's been dead for

quite a while there was still part of me that was like oh maybe i'll see him oh i like that'll never happen again it was a weird processing of like he's gone yeah you were lucky enough to see him as such a small window of overlap in your lives exactly and it's just it's a strange thing i don't know if i'll watch that i have like a weird thing where if there's uh an artist or like a creative type that i like i really struggle with finishing their last work oh yeah like the idea of knowing that i have that like whenever i want to is almost more impactful to me than if i saw it um i had the same with patrice O'Neill, where I've never seen his special, but I just thought his earlier work was so funny,

conversationally at least. I completely agree with you. There are two series that touched me so intensely in some way that I never finished them on purpose. And they're silly, but Schitt's Creek, I am halfway through the last season of Schitt's Creek and I just don't want to finish it because I don't want it to be over.

And season three of Ash versus Evil Dead, because I have been a fan of Evil Dead since I was a kid and I grew up with it and it's so charming and so well done that I just don't want to see it be over, you know? And so I just, I don't know that I'll ever watch them because I just like knowing that they're out there if I ever want to,

you know, I'd rather, I'd rather i'd rather have that than than than know what i'm missing in some ways totally yeah absolutely i i can i can relate to that even in like silly i think like the funniest one is i have a clip of um oh i forget his last name but uh the celtics play by like i mike what's his last name jen mike mike gorman mike gorman yeah I've got like he did like a immemorial thing

to Tommy Heinzen that I just have never watched because I just I like having that because they were such a an important iconic duo even though I didn't get to see too much of their coverage like they called games for I'd assume over 20 years felt like they did it for like 70 years they felt like

they were pillars of eternity for that team um yeah that's it's it's interesting how how those pieces of media can impact it gavin what are what did you share any experiences like that but where i don't want to watch someone's end the final piece of that what sure you don't want to be over i've never really looked at it from that point of view. I feel like it's quite interesting. Like I would watch the norm thing, but yeah,

it is sad, but I feel like comedy and tragedy, they go so well together. Don't they? Totally. For sure. Absolutely. It's interesting when norm passed,

like thinking about how much his, his comedy, I think has impacted face like indirectly. I think just through what, at least I find funny Yeah, oh, yeah I'm sorry him I want an absolute YouTube binge after he died or just all of his Late night appearances and SNL stuff and it just never gave a singular shit at any point and it's so you got to respect it

I Don't think anyone has done it to that extent throughout and then kept an entire career going. Uh, one other person who's also dead now, unfortunately, and that was Gilbert Godfrey. Yeah. They both,

uh, just like it is. I mean, they really are like the, the prototype for, for what face is right. It's like just two people that are so entertained by the thing that they're doing that it doesn't matter if it's detrimental to them

or their career in any way. They're going to go up there and do it. Gilbert Gottfried is going to go up there when he's on tour with the Go-Go's and they come to him and the producers come to him and say, listen, this is a family-friendly show. These are a bunch of 12-year-old girls that want to see the Go-Go's sing Vacation

and you can't get up there and say talk about anal and he's like okay got it and goes worse you know because he has he doesn't have a choice like there's like like and then like it's like like he doesn't want to it's just that is now the funniest choice like you have to do yeah it's like there's a there's like some sort of a like a invisible force pulling you towards a self-destructive joke. Yeah. It's great to even just like with Norm, especially for me, you constantly hear new stories. And it's like the content, even though he's not producing new stuff, you learn different aspects.

I was listening to a thing recently, and this person talked about how when Norm was starting in Canada as a comedian, he would bomb all the time because his style was very specific and it didn't work in a lot of rooms and if he bombed he would stay like if he did well he would kind of just leave immediately but if he bombed he'd stay in the green room the entire night and then he'd go to the exit when everybody

finished and he'd make everybody shake his hand on the way out. He didn't give a fuck if he did well, but if he did horribly just for the awkward exchange, he would shake everybody's hand. So good. Legend. I had to register a new phone number recently. Yeah? And I had a... It was the first time I've ever been able to pick a phone number. You just type in numbers and see if it's available.

Holy shit, you got to do that? Yeah, then I was like, oh, I bet there's websites for this. And I found a website that just sells numbers. I assume they just buy up all these vanity phone numbers and stuff. And I found one with a 778 area code, which I think is BC. sells numbers i assume they just like buy up all these vanity phone numbers and stuff and uh i found one with a 778 area code which i think is bc in canada i think it's one of those ones and i found andrew i found your ultimate phone number you did what's the number i'll let me move my fucking 778 pancake and it's two2,000 that's too much

I think we should get the Eric's credit card no we need and I think that should be your phone number when will this air Nick what day will this come out can we talk about this thing the thing that we bleep two weeks from now that should be fine

yeah it's fine I found out recently that that is essentially what it's predicted to go at 2000 i'd much rather that 778 pancake as good as 778 pancake is that's fucking great why not why not both so are you in the process of changing your phone number and then not telling us? No, it's like a business line. Oh, okay. Oh, 778 Pancake would be so good. If you're interested in high-speed photography,

call the Slow Mo guys at 778 Pancake. I watched, maybe you'll remember the name to this, Jeff, because it was like a big 90s movie, Sandra Bullock. It's where she's like a hacker. She's a computer hacker. The Net. I watched The Net like a week ago, and she goes on a website called Pizza.net and I've never wanted anything more to exist.

I was so disappointed to put in Pizza.net and have it does not exist. How much is it? I have no idea. I don't even think it's for sale. It's just like this domain doesn't exist. She orders a pizza for Pizza.net and it just comes to her house. It's that's the one with like mozart's ghost or whatever right yeah it is it's mozart's ghost yeah she like gets her thing hacked she's a hacker and she she i don't know it's a dumb movie it's 90s internet cringe and the best way so we we agree we're gonna get right like

this is already we have to and that's why I'm so mad that Eric is here because I independently made an account on that website and I just got an email from them saying like yeah you need to send in a proof of address with an ID like you need to properly register and it took like six days for that process to go through

we need to get it's actually it's like Andrew and I have had an idea about a thing to get it's actually uh it's actually um it's like andrew and i have had an idea about a thing we want to do someday and it's pretty important to that idea so i feel like we need this is integral uh to the future of of space we need to get this thing yeah i i mean i would love for us to record it's on 8 a.m. that day, Pacific, 10 for you guys. I think it'd be so much fun. Are we talking a...

I don't... They say it's... Let me pull up the link. I think it just... The way it's phrased is like, this is the only one. Will it fit any of us, do you think? I don't... Dude.

Probably. I think it could fit you. I could see it on you. It says this consists of a... And an actate... matching with metal exhibits where including a pair of harness holes on the side. But can you say that word? That second word you said again?

Did you say act? Can you say actate? I have no idea what that word is. I have no clue. A C E T A T E. I just I just I had never heard the word actate before, I assumed. Oh, can I talk? Can I call someone?

Gavin knows about this. I have a friend, speaking of pronouncing words incorrectly, my friend Jake. One of my favorite bits recently is I learned that Jake thinks he pronounces the word Tums, Tombs. And so for like weeks now, he says Tombs. Whenever anyone asks what's Tombs it's so we've been loading him up to say Tombs

constantly. I'm going to call him. He got this to work the other day on Halo and I could not believe it. Gavin lost it. He genuinely thinks the word Tombs is Tombs. What is Tombs? Like a soother of the stomach sort of thing? Yeah.

Can you guys hear that? Yeah. Should we be quiet? I don't know. Why is he picking up? This is disappointing. It's acid, according to Nick. Yeah, no shit.

I'll try calling him one more time. He fucking knows what Tom says. He doesn't seem to get it. He thinks Tom... Gavin has such a funny line where he's like, what does he think? Do you have a toomy ache? He just doesn't get it. Hello? Wait.

Hey, Jake. Oh, God. No, why are you upset? I'm having some anxiety, like heartburn. What. No, why are you upset? I'm having, like, my, my, my, I'm having, like, I have, like, some anxiety, like, heartburn. What is the thing you take for it? I think it starts with the... Oh, anxiety. That's not...

No, no, but I got, like, heartburn and, you know, like, I need, like, an anti-acid type thing. What is the... Tomb? What is it, sorry? Tombs? Okay, thank you. Thank you so much.

I'll talk to you later. Are you... Yeah. Love you, Jake. So he thinks it's tombs okay thank you thank you so much i'll talk to you later love you jake so he thinks it's tombs yeah jake listens to this podcast i'll make sure i'll tell him beforehand that he was he was on the show if you you hear that wonderful tombs audio that has been I had to have a conversation with the people I regularly play games with of like are we okay to sacrifice tombs because it is brought laughter

to our life for weeks feeding him tombs Jesus tombs this is like for an entire summer I had Millie convinced they were flop flips not flip flops and she's like you sound so weird when you say it that way where did somebody we went all over hawaii and back and the whole time she's flop flips but she's not you know 26 or however old jake is no jake's like 30

jake 30 you're walking around saying dooms. To be fair, why would he ever answer the phone between the hours of 3 and 4 central to Thursday? Yeah, I talked to him for a minute before I did this that I said I have to go film this podcast. No. No, Barry. I like that you used the same method to get him to say it as you did last time. I did. On Halo, you said the exact same thing. You had heartburn and he still went for it.

He must be thinking like, why doesn't he remember? So easy. We had a conversation recently that we need to change our approach or else he is going to catch on if we all have heartburn every day. We're constantly asking him what we need to take for it. I love Jake. Oh, tombs. Tombs.

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listeners to have clean bumps visit hellotushy.com slash face to get 10 off plus free shipping right now tag us and at hellotushy on social media so we can celebrate your clean butt with you that's hellotushy.com slash face for 10 off um I have a thing that we should talk about. I saw some misunderstanding of a thing. It's fair. A fair misunderstanding. We need to talk about the grow tubes.

We're all very excited about them. People are excited about them. You mean this? You mean this? Wait. Did they send you those? Cause I would like one but I need to clear Okay, I need to, I don't know if they would send me one Cause it's RTX, it's launching RTX

I sent you a video the day I got it I know you did but I didn't know if you like grabbed it Like I didn't know how you got that or if they mailed it to you No, no, it was in the mail I'm sure they probably mailed it to you as well Cool, awesome, um, so they're launching at RTX But they will be available online for everybody Yes they're probably mailed it to you as well cool awesome um so they're launching at rtx but they will be available online for everybody yes after the event we just want the idea was we wanted to

annoy as many people as possible so they're gonna drop on the event we're putting as much inventory as we can there so we can have as many ground tubes and a contained space uh because that would be horrendous for everybody there do you remember couple of years ago during the world cup when everybody got excited about Vuvuzela? Yes, exactly. It's called, we're getting, we're trying to recreate that magic at RTX this year.

Exactly. Yeah. So I just, I felt it was important to clarify in the merch meeting we had, I had somebody who said it perfectly where everybody who wants one will get one. So they're launching at RTX, but they will be online too. So if you are unable to attend that event, you'll be able to go.

You're like a war general, like sending all of the troops to one place. It's like there's no room for anyone live. We're sending everything to RTX first. We need to fire everything. Well, I don't know. I don't think, I'm assuming Face doesn't have a panel, considering you and I won't be there, Gavin, sadly. I don't know if that's true. It might just be me and Eric. I'll have to check on that. It's just you and i won't be there gavin sadly i don't know if that's

true it might just be me and eric i'll have to this is you and eric that's great please record please record a whole room full of people if there is a panel doing the grown tube at once i need to yeah it'll just be an hour oh that's what i want it's like when people get everyone to turn on their phone light and wave them at the same time. We're going to have so many people, our tubes will groan out the sun. It's going to be amazing. When we eventually have our show in Vegas, I just love

the idea of people having to travel with their groan tube. Like having to bring it in uniform. Yeah. Oh, I wonder if it would qualify for like, you know, you can't travel with liquid containers and stuff. What's the volume of our grown tube? Oh, no. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine like trying to declare a fuck stick? Like, great. I want to have to write that. So a dildo. No. that's ridiculous this isn't sexual at all it's a fuck stick it's totally different oh man i never thought after the saga of the uh of the porta potty tiki mugs i never thought we would have another piece of merchandise that was as complicated to get made and take as long. But boy, did the grown tubes not disappoint. Well, I mean, talking about the Port-A-Pot,

just to clarify, are you going to be home, Jeff, for your birthday? Are you going to, is that, it's depending on Emily, I assume. Well, my birthday is a Sunday. So mail doesn't deliver on Sundays, typically here in America. Why do you ask?

I was just curious if you're going to be in the city or not. I'll be in the city. I'm going to be in town. I'm going to go swimming on my birthday. Good. Okay. I'll be in Austin. Awesome.

Ready to accept whatever hell you are about to unleash on me. No, never. I just want to make sure. I got worried. Beard Vegas, I would have to make sure. I got worried. Beard Vegas, I would have to make some calls after we finish this recording. Well, I don't think that

there's any danger of me being in Vegas anytime soon. Poor, poor Emily. Meow Wolf is in Vegas, right? Yeah, there are five. So there are or will be five Meow Wolf locations. Santa Fe is the original

and then Vegas and Denver opened up a couple years ago and then now they're opening two in Texas, but not in Austin. We got to try that Gerple drink because I think all the people

that, yeah, I think that's there. I just connected that when we're in Vegas for our show. We got to get some Gerples. Yeah, we can totally do that. That sounds great.

The show that I'm apparently not going to attend. I'll be blown away if you're there, Andrew. i'm apparently not going to attend i'll be blown away if you're there andrew i'm 100 gonna be there i cannot wait to collect my 20 from jack it's gonna be fantastic anybody else who wants to put wagers in i'll gladly take them nick wrote by the way so uh i think i could squeeze into that i think you could fit and i think the harness i just really i i want more clothing with harness holes you never know when you need them maybe i could get lowered from the ceiling at the uh i'm gonna write down to talk to eric about i'll tell you this andrew if you buy me a bunch of

delicious cosmic crisp apples for my birthday and they show up i'm not gonna take one bite out of one throw it in a river, and then dump the rest in a trash can on the way out. Who did that? Oh, I don't know. Was that Gavin? No, it was Eric. Oh, Eric did it. I see. So you said on the water, and since he's a near-the-water

guy, I didn't associate that. Well, he threw it in the water. We were on the boat. Oh. Got it. They had Cosmic Cris it in the water. We were on the boat. Oh. Got it. They had Cosmic Crisps in the grocery flyer where I get my groceries from this week. I was very excited. Made my week.

It's a lucky week this week. I didn't realize that now we have cemented that people are going to notify us, I suspect for the rest of our individual lives, about every new Apple drop that comes out from here. I don't hate it. I don't hate it either. I don't hate it either. I'm a fan of it. It's like subscribing

to a newsletter you forgot you subscribed to. It is. Every once in a while, they just hit you up with, hey, there's a new yellow Apple. Looks good. A division to thank me later. Yeah, that's awesome. That's a great idea. I was going to say, because Eric's not here,

we should do something we would never do while he's here. And we should all say one nice thing about him because he'll never hear it. So but then I don't know. But then I got annoyed with him for not being here.

So maybe I don't want to say nice stuff about him. I really feel like that was a conversation for you to have before we recorded. It feels like you're torn between ideas.

Well, I didn't have a lot of choice. You were going on about your book club. My book club? Oh, that's fair. There was a lack of pleasantries. We're all thrown off from the lack of a pleasantry talk. What's that, Andrew? What's the best book you've read in the last 72 days?

I don't think I've read a book. Maybe like the game manual for Fast and Furious Crossroads, I guess, if we want to call that a book i don't think you can call that book yeah then i don't think i've read a book in the last 72 days why did you ask us if we'd read a book in the last 72 days why is this pleasantry talk no it's just being silly it's just silly to see where it goes i don't there's no reason it was a completely random number why did i pick number 101 for like the episode the palladio for jeff or whatever just random huh zero logic went into it can i talk about one of my favorite events that i wish i would have talked about last week that happened i missed out oh yeah the nba finals started on the

same night as the greatest sporting event of the year the scripts national spelling bee and boy was it a barn burner did you pick a kid I picked a kid my favorite tradition continued there's one person in our league who picked the child who's yep I'm the Vancouver child picker the person that consistently

takes the first kid eliminated got eliminated first once again. It was great. The disappointment. It was fantastic. My kid, I think, placed fifth. It was a wild show, Gavin. There's a woman.

This child was eliminated and she left the stage. And then 10 minutes later, they said, actually, we fucked up. You can come back. You're back in this competition. Oh, so that was like a misspelling that was actually spelled correctly? No, it was like we... So the second round is they give... You have to guess the definition of a word. So they'll tell you what it is

and they'll give you three options. And technically how they phrased it, two of the three would be correct. And she picked one that they didn't view as correct. But upon review, they're like, ah, you could make the argument that that was a correct answer so she got to come back the show opened with a kid got an answer wrong in the round before that his parents disputed it and they decided he could enter the over there was his parents were very upset about it and so

they decided if he could spell one word correctly before the show started he could then enter the finals so the first it opened with a spelling of a kid trying to get in and he got it i'm so glad it would be so embarrassing to fuck that word up like as the show was started and you're just yeah no you're you're double eliminated that car ride home oh it'd be so awkward because he gave he kind of had vibes of i'm not super into this but my parents love this his dad was so fucking pumped when he made it into the finals he got it right um so the girl got eliminated she came back it went into the very first spell off the scripts spell off so there's an overtime round it's like penalty kicks where each kid goes up and they have to spell as many words as they can in 90 seconds

So like they feed them a word and then they have to spell it and they hit a buzzer and it goes to the next Word and just go back and forth and it is one of the craziest things I've ever seen. Oh Speed spelling is wild And didn't the girl who got the person who got kicked out and then brought back in win she won it all the girl that kicked out she's unstopped every time she'd come to the stage i was making terminator noises you could not terminate she would not go down she was a every time and she would just nail words they got to that spell off it was not it was like she didn't breathe do you remember any of the 26 words oh not even close

you think I fucking know these words when I can't even say acetate or whatever the fuck that word was I don't know I don't know six letter words I watched the spell off Gavin and I'd never heard of any of those words ever before and Andrew's not wrong she had

like the focus of a swan she was locked in like a swan. She was locked in. Like a swan looking at your back. Yeah. She had my. Yeah. So what was the word with the definition that they gave a background? I don't remember.

It was like something like it was a group of bees. It meant like I think the definition was it was like a group of a certain animal type and they had two different animals listed and she picked the wrong animal and they're like no the correct answer is b not it's bees not geese and they're like well technically you can make the case that geese would also fall under it's a weird like technicality thing like a murder of crows like yes, those are great. I love those what you call specific animal groups Murder is a good one. How does that get decided? I mean, how do we decide any word? We've had this talk before what would it be if?

Podcasters were a group like coming towards you. What could you call it? Yeah, just unfortunate general population I don't know seems like everyone has a podcast a general population of pod don't know. Seems like everyone has a podcast. A general population of podcasters? A general population of podcasters. No, it'd be like a group of podcasters are coming out of you, or podcast audiences? Yeah. If all the three of us were coming towards you, what would

the flock term be? It'd be a regulation of podcasters. Oh. Regulation podcaster? Is that what you said? Yeah. A regulation! They would be a regulation. That's what I said. a regulation they would be a regulation that's what i said a regulation of podcasters yeah you're right i misheard podcast leavers nick says we're still i appreciate you coming up with regulation jeff because i was i was trying and i just could not i couldn't find it i did my best i was looking for it i thought ad

readers were okay but it's like yeah but regulation a regulation is such a better natural fit you found i wonder if that applies to any other animal what do you mean there's a regulation a regular oh you think there's a group of animals called a regulation yeah list of animal regulation of buffalo or something if it was gonna like it obviously doesn't but if it was going to what animal do you think it would be oh well it's like the most bog standard animal i hate that with the amount of time i've spent with you my brain said the exact same thing internally i just said that i fucking hate because there's no way that i'm naturally saying that i've just spent too much time with you bog standard uh like what

animal do you think of if if you think of an animal hmm uh well i think see i was thinking large too and kind of the same area i think it's funnier if it's like an animal you don't see often. Like a regulation of giraffes. A regulation of giraffes isn't bad. The first thing that came to my mind, and I feel pretty good about, is a regulation of dolphins. I was also thinking dolphins. But I'm a water guy. Yeah.

Regulation of dolphins. Yeah, I immediately went to land. I feel like land is the standard. But I guess there is more water than land on Earth. I think water is the standard, buddy. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm saying, I'm turning around to it. A group of goldfish is apparently called a troubling, which is great. That's what we would be. Yeah. What would you call two clusters of goldfish? Troublings?

What? Double trouble, Andrew. Oh! I'm glad I didn't make that joke. Gotcha. I was happy that I missed. First time I've ever thought this, but should we end the podcast early after that?

Double trouble? I think if that's where we are, maybe we... A double troubling of goldfish i like flamingo is a flamboyance a group of flamingos flamboyance coyotes are a band a band of coyotes that's fucking cool this is where eric if he was here would be yelling at us to stop just reading stuff off the internet this is part of the the show. I don't know. But Nick said that is cool. So I think Nick's in. I want to be in a

band. A swarm. It's for bees. Yeah, I mean there's some shit ones, but... Caterpillars are an army. An army of caterpillars. Who decides these? I don't know. That's a great question. Who does decide these? I wonder how many caterpillars is required

for an army it makes you think hundreds like in columns I think of like there needs to be a set of tiers like you need a general you could have five people and if one of them is like a general and a sergeant I think you're an army

yeah I don't think caterpillars are like a hive mind I assume there's I think you're an army. Yeah, I don't think I don't think caterpillars are like a hive mind. I assume there's a there's a hierarchy there that there's a lead. It's not like ants. And even then ants have a queen, right?

I think the great play of if you refer to yourself as an army, there is an implied largeness that doesn't have to be there. Like if we said we are an army, people would assume there's more of us

when there might not be. That just might be a good strategic decision. Caterpillars maybe just want to seem bigger than they are. How many in an army? Or there can't be. You think there's a clear line? I'd be shocked if there is like a definitive number. Yeah, this is useless.

It would be useless. Okay, so the dictionary definition of army is an organized military force equipped for fighting on land. So really, if you could organize two people, I think two people could technically be an army as long as they're on land. It wouldn't be dolphins.

No such thing as an army of dolphins. That's a great point. That would be terrifying though. Isn't that a movie? There's a movie about that, right? An army of dolphins? Or's a great point that would be terrifying though isn't that a movie there's a movie about that right an army of dolphins or is it one there's a movie where the dolphin is trying to assassinate a president that's a movie but i don't know if that's an army what the fuck are you talking about there's there's i didn't make that up i don't think dolphin assassinate president movie they like train a dolphin to kill the

president the day of the dolphin i was hoping so much that was a dream marine biologist jake and maggie terrell have for many years been doing dolphin dolphin research in florida keys and have even coached some dolphins to speak primitive english but when two of the dolphins are kidnapped an investigation proves that the trail's financial backers, the Franklin Foundation, have had a sinister intention all along. The dolphins are to be used to deliver and detonate explosives beneath the president's yacht. That's right. What is this movie called?

The Day of the Dolphin. The Day. All right, hold on. The Day of the Dolphin. Could you imagine deciding that the tagline of a movie is unwittingly he trained a dolphin to kill the president of

the United States. That's what you're going to put on there. Dude it's got George C. Scott in it. It's got Patton in it.

Oh that's amazing. Stream. Where are we going to watch this and make a video out of it. Oh we can watch it on Amazon Prime.

Perfect. We'll add it to we're watching MVP 2. What's the other one. I think we can watch it on Amazon Prime. Perfect. We'll add it to, we're watching MVP 2. What's the other one? I think we agreed on a different movie recently as well. MVP 2, Day of the Dolphin. There's something else.

Well, there was discussion of Anaconda. There was. That's a great movie. I don't know if we need to do that. Honestly, I'd rather, I think Lake Placid is a better version of that movie. I'd rather see Lake Placid. Yeah. There's only one I think Lake Placid is a better version of that movie. I'd rather really.

Yeah, there's only one part of Lake Placid I really enjoy. And it's the fact that there is a character in it that is like a specialist in alligators or whatever. And he sets all these traps up and only one of the main characters keep stepping in them. Like it never actually impacts the character. And it's like a running gag throughout the movie that this one guy gets stuck in six of his traps. There's no like payoff to it. It's just this thing that keeps happening throughout the film. I really enjoy that.

It's a dumb movie. It's great. Yeah. It's like. It's alligator anaconda. Yeah. But I feel like to a lesser extent, like I think anaconda is more schlocky than like placid. Like placid is dumb. Anaconda schlocky than lake placid lake placid is dumb

anaconda schlocky i'll say this lake placid has betty white in it it does that is true the legend i wonder who won that contest and i wonder if they regret running that contest i talked about on the show before oh died so shortly after that oh yeah it was like to celebrate her hundredth which i don't think she reached sadly she was so close she was so close she was so close i have a question about when when you tell a story on this show something that happened in your personal life and you you tell it to like somebody involved with the story like when you fill somebody else in on the story what you're doing your first telling of the story, how often do you hear a different perspective

of what you're going to tell? How often does that improve the story to you or change your perspective on it? Every time. What's an example? So the shampoo bottle story that I told in the episode that just came out. Yeah.

The following day, the first person I told that story to was my partner. And as I'm telling the story and I'm halfway through, they cut me off and immediately just said, wait, you had my shampoo bottle in your ass in disgust,

which is an aspect of it that I never considered. I never thought about like that that would be way worse than waking them up that they now have my ass all over the bottle i've been putting that on my hair yeah like i'm gonna have to grab this bottle all the time that was in your ass now thank you for the kindness of doing that

just curious if you guys had examples of like different i'll i'll say that like emily at least in my experience is like a one person comedy writing room and so when i'm going through and like telling the swan story or working it out uh she'll be like uh yeah but didn't this kind of happen or like don't forget about this thing or like in go go now she'd be like oh it's it's it was funny the way you said it this time be sure to say it like that and And I find it to be invaluable. Yeah. Yeah. What is it they say about like when you tell a story,

you're only telling it from like the, you're only telling the last time you remembered it. So like the more you tell it or like the more time between, it just gets less accurate over time. I find that a lot with, if I tell a story like 10 times and then I tell it for the 11th time and someone from the original moment was there, they'll add in stuff that i've forgotten i'm like oh how do i leave that out and it's so it's so like overwritten by the other times i've told it it's part of why

i'm having so much fun doing that other show with gus is because we're retelling stories from like the early days of roost teeth that we haven't told in years and years and years. And he reminds me of like entire events that I'd forgotten about, you know, just spun off of like one story. And it's like, it's awesome. So that other show you do, I mean,

to bring this up is Anma. It's a podcast, Anma. It has been such a delight to listen to that show. Really? Yeah, I've really enjoyed it because I, I love you and we have

this great friendship but i also think you're so funny in content and the thing like face i don't listen to it at all as we've covered for reasons that you displayed perfectly earlier in this episode there's nothing that'll make you hate yourself faster than re-listening to something you're part of i'm so thankful gavin that you're willing to prove these for us. So I've missed seeing you in content and to listen to a thing where you're so funny and it's such a relaxed environment for a show and the friendship between you and Gus is so genuine. It has been such a joy to listen to that show.

So I'd highly recommend anybody who listens to F*** Face check out Anima. It's a great series, especially if you love Jeff. Well, thank you, Andrew. And you haven't been exposed to Gus, maybe, if you're outside of the Rooster Teeth world. He's a tour de force in his own right. Can I, a Gus thing that I feel like,

I keep meaning to bring up, and I'm so glad that this conversation led me to this thought. Before Break Shit started, we've done several of them at this point nearly a year i feel like the starting point of break shit was the fact that gus has a fucking garage filled with baseball cards and it has never been mentioned or searched for what is this does he still have them yeah are we ever gonna get those cards it's so funny it's so funny you mentioned that because that popped into my head i'm actually

i actually tweeted a photo earlier today i'm trying to like consolidate all the all the face break shit stuff because it's just like in boxes around my house and in my car and i'm trying to make some sense out of it because hopefully at some point we'll move into a studio that has a a set that i can design and leave because right now i have to tear it down and build it up yeah down every time it's a fucking transient nightmare uh and that popped into my head i'm like all right doesn't have like 40 000 baseball cards we're supposed to get i i gotta we just gotta do it like at the at the time he mentioned it i thought it would be fun to make like a little docu thing about it and like document driving down there together and like make a little video out of it but But at this point, I just want to get him, you know,

if he still has access to him, which I think he does. I'm glad you brought it up because I feel like it could be a huge and fun thing for us to fuck with. And it just kind of like a lot of face jokes that just kind of fell by the wayside for other stuff. Yeah, I'd love to have an update for that. Or if you guys even just like recorded

in a car like on the road podcast. I don't know. That would be fun. That would be really fun. And I haven't been down to the town where he grew up. I used to go down there early on in our friendship and spend the weekend

with his mom and him and explore Mexico and stuff. Why are you laughing at that? That seems... You would never do that now. That's so funny. Oh, yeah, no. There's so funny. Oh, yeah. No. Well, yeah, the difference

between being 46 and 26 is pretty stark. Yeah. Yeah. But weren't you still married back then? Yeah, sometimes. I go away for the weekend.

I don't know why that's weird to me. Yeah, you'd just be like, I'm going to go spend two days with Gus's family. Yeah, I've done that a bunch of times while I was married. And then also I was divorced for a little while. Yeah.

Fantastic. Nick had to do the Eric thing and tell us to wrap up. He did. Fuck you, Nick. There are times where between recordings we'll be texting each other a lot i don't know at least from my side it was very quiet i think we're all busy the last week this is nice this

felt like a really relaxed like get together catch up type episode is it bad that crazy since it was mentioned i couldn't think of a single nice thing to say about eric well i would give you homework but we don't want to we don't want to do that to Andrew. No, not again. I was going to say, because I was struggling too. He's got a good... I like his fashion sense. I think he dresses well.

I'm into it. Yeah? Really? He's got a good style. Yeah. I think he's very fun. He reminds me of of he's older than me but it's like it's hanging out with him it's like hanging out with someone when i was in my

20s yeah and i think that's nice about him i will say one one thing that i like about eric is just the longevity of how long i've known him and in the different contexts you know because he was like you know he would like help out and was a part of mega 64 which was like a group of peers uh in the internet space that we would do events with and stuff and so we've known him for i don't know so it's like year three of roosterteeth so probably like i don't know 15 years or something but i knew him in the in the context of like getting a beer with him at a convention in iowa or you know being next to like, like throwing t-shirts at him, uh,

across from the aisle at a, you know, at Comic-Con or whatever. And, uh, it is so weird now that we make a show together. Yeah. I mean,

the face as a whole, I think that it came together at all is a bizarre thing. Yeah. He went from someone who I tried to ignore as much as possible to someone I listen to, whatever he says, anything. I try to ignore as much as possible to someone I don't listen to whenever he says anything. I always thought that he was like, this is going to border on being too nice, but I'll be honest. I love that group, the Mega64 guys. I love all of them in their own way.

Although I love, well, no, I'm not going to pick favorites. I think they're all great. But I always thought Eric was the funniest among them and I always thought it was strange I was like well why is the guy that's helping him out is a little bit funnier than the rest of them I wonder why that is he's my favorite like there's certain topics that when

he's like the person I will talk to you about like I was on Twitter the other day and I saw this thread where somebody who used to produce podcasts for the wwe left and was talking about that experience and they said that jeff hardy has the worst wi-fi they've ever encountered and that he was wonderful but just the most absolutely dismal wi-fi and just like please get some better fucking wi-fi jeff hardy and i said that to eric it was just like the only person I know who I could send that to and have like a great conversation about of course Jeff Hardy would have shit internet like that is it just checks out on every level I'll say that Eric is uh he's really

good at sending me funny hot takes during basketball games oh yeah game four or what yeah four I can't count we just did four right notes yeah two one I'm sorry I've been out of I've been out of the fuck is wrong what are you talking about I I have game four the series is coming up and I just yeah I was I

discounted game two we're talking about the Celtics Golden State Warriors the finals I couldn't believe they won game one game two I didn't really care

about because I felt like there was no way they could win I did care but you know what I mean like no it's a scheduled scheduled loss yeah and the fact that they've won game three now makes me think that they might actually win it all,

so I'm very excited, but I also expect game four to be a loss. It's ludicrous to think that the Boston Celtics are two wins away from being NBA champions, and we're not a basketball podcast. We're a baseball equipment podcast, so I guess there's an affinity there, but I don't want to get like too deep into sports.

Cause then nobody, everybody be mad at us. Uh, Oh, you know what? We should probably end though. Uh, let me just tell you guys,

I wish there was a funnier bit to it, but I got the new bike and it works great. Oh, that's so awesome. Is it the seat any better for now? It's the seats worse. Uh, no,

no, no, that's okay that's okay what i just have to switch out i'm probably have to make a few modifications um i'll probably have to change the seat and i might change the the the pedals out for the ones that i'm using now because they're grippier but uh but yeah it's it's awesome you know the shitty instagram ads you get sometimes it's like hey here's a box of goo put your foot in it and we'll send it back to us yeah your shoe custom is that one for your ass like you could just sit in a box and it molds your ass and they'll print you a a bike seat i would pay a thousand dollars for that see i was custom i would pay for that you pay a pancake phone number buddy

have you ever seen the movie Safemen, Jeff? No. The character Sam Rockwell in it has a fake ass. Have you considered getting an ass just for riding your bike? Like an attachable ass. So I thought about an episode of King of the Hill when Hank was having trouble sitting in his truck and he was riding lawnmower.

It was hurting and it was because his butt wore away and he had to get like butt implants. And I like shit maybe i wore my butt off and i need to go get butt implants so i went to the doctor the doctor was like that was like you're a fucking idiot i was like all right this is why i don't go to the doctor you see those time lapses in wildlife where like a river will slowly erode rock it It just time-lapsed your ass as it got smaller. Hey, I gotta go get the door real fast. Be just a second. I feel like it would have been good to already end it.

Why don't we just wrap up the podcast? Thank you so much. Well, hang on. Now that Jeff's gone, that has reduced the amount of people in this to pleasantries amounts. So you could just finish your pleasantries with Nick. Oh, I felt like... No, you don't.

As somebody who's not part of pleasantries, that's not how pleasantries work. I thought it works when you're not recording and there's not everyone here. No, it's before it starts. The pleasantries lead into the show. The purpose of the pleasantries is that you have a conversation,

you calm down, you have some laughs, and then you go into the thing. Pleasantries are great. I'm back. Just want to let you guys know, continue with your pleasantries talk. Sorryasantries are great. I'm back. Just want to let you guys know, continue with your pleasantries talk. Sorry, I had to get medicine for Emily. Andrew doesn't want to do pleasantries.

Yeah. What do you mean? Well, it's not pleasantries. You can't have pleasantries at the end of a show. Well, but you guys do that. Like, when we... That's not pleasantries. What is it, postries?

It's postries. Okay, well, you guys do postries, like, the two of you, for hours, to the point where I thought you were doing this where I thought you were doing a secret podcast. Like, you guys are doing, like, a post show where you just make fun of Jeff for an hour. I don't know how that... I think that started because my computer is so shit,

it takes, like, 12 minutes for me to export, and everybody leaves, so I'm just sitting in the channel by myself, and Gavin was like, what's going on in here? And it just became a tradition that gavin comes back in as i'm exporting we have a little talk yeah i'd say every uh every single recording with we have a five minute well it's not apparently it's not pleasant but it's some sort of conversation and then it's definitely pleasant it's just not a pleasant tree it's not pleasant trees i i really i think that's kind of i think that's bullshit dude i, dude. I think it's pleasantries. I think it's pleasantries too.

I don't think pleasantries is dictated by when in the conversation it happens. I think it could go at the end. I think by definition of the spirit of the show, pleasantries is before the podcast starts. I think we have a hundred plus episodes where that sets when the time is. Maybe not pleasantries in the outside world. There's a regulation pleasantries and what we have afterwards is deregulated pleasantries can i say something i learned recently not all pleasantries are alike you got to be very selective with your pleasantries you should talk about that that's uh there are sometimes you go into meetings and pleasantries

can be disastrous i uh i i had a fun meeting with you guys that day that was no it was a great meeting I just am I was around new people I'm a social mess oh it was awkward I fucked it up so good listening to Andrew try and have pleasantries with two people he'd never met or spoken to before and like trying to feel them out it was

so funny I wish it was being recorded it was so awkward you were trying so hard you were really pulling you were doing all the work you can say a lot about me I do try hard that is a consistent

you do I will say one thing I've learned outside of the context of f*** face where I do everything a little differently I show up for

every work related meeting three minutes late so I can avoid pleasantries it's a good way to go. It is. It's something I've... Different.

It is a different animal outside of this podcast. Pleasantries. It is. Yes, I learned that the hard way. What did you think of my input? Nick says you want me to cut that? No.

Wait, what? Oh, Jeff. Jeff's thing. Not my thing. Showing up three minutes late so I don't have to do pleasantries? No, I don't think that's a rude thing No, I just pretend to be coming in late from another meeting. They don't know

You're just sat at your desk And then right before the meeting starts or right before you join you just run like five laps around your charity like whoo Hey guys, sorry. I just come in half this other thing yeah Every meeting you start on the phone with somebody else like we join the meeting and then you're just on a fake call every also also nick is like now they know here's the deal nick no they don't no one in our company listens to this podcast the amount of conversations i have to have where i explain the most basic shit about face to people is ludicrous there's no way i could i could say anything I wanted to on this podcast

and it wouldn't matter in the context of the people that we work with because they would never, ever, even on accident, hear it. I've seen you explain to people at the company what works about F*** Face and then you'll go into a meeting a month later and explain the thing you were talking about and they'll be like, ooh, what's that?

No one can bring themselves to delve in. It's a lot. It's a, what's that? It's like no one's, no one can bring themselves to delve in. It's just like, It's a lot. It's a deep lore about nothing. It's the f*** face curse that it's not just the podcast. It extends to conversations

and meetings too. Whereas like as soon as the meeting about the f*** face thing is over, everybody else from every other department in the company, their brain toilet flushes too. And they're like,

f*** you, don't do that. I have been enjoying the weekly newsletter that's been coming out the internal one that has to say that anal passages the top seller of everything because you know there's everyone at the company just thinking I don't even want to look up what that could be about dude I don't want to get too granular

into sales and stuff but let me just say that uh the face the annual anal passage shirt is it's near in four figures in sales which is absolutely ludicrous so stupid i can't fucking believe it i can't believe that in like 19 and a half years of selling t-shirts online uh through various productions uh this is like anal passages approaching like top 50 for the history of the company at some point i think you know it's fucking ridiculous wow i love it that's awesome yeah that also may not be true it's just going off the top of my head no that's great let's just claim it's true. That's fantastic. It's like, it's like Bouchika Bow Wow.

Camping is a legitimate strategy. Zombie plan and the caboose shirt and anal passage. That's a great lie. Like, even if it's not true, there's some, it's important to have good lies. I was talking to a friend recently and they were in this dance competition that was like every school in this area competed and they only read out the top 10 names of the thing. So one of the kids is a lie said they placed 11th because they only did like they only read 10 like nobody knows. I don't think they even ranked 10, but almost everybody in the group believed that they came 11th.

Like they genuinely thought that, and it got printed in the newsletter. And there are kids who lived like 20 years of their lives thinking they placed the 11th in the finals of this dance competition. It's like complete bullshit. So even if the anal passage shirt isn't in the top, whatever you said, it's a great lie.

Let's just go with that we should probably wrap up though this has gone on way longer than it's supposed to yeah nick tried to end it several times i was trying to cut it off at like the 40 minute mark but uh after the double trouble i gotta say i don't know what it is, but the last two episodes we've recorded, I've just felt really, really good about until I listened to that one, episode 106.

So I'll continue to feel good about 107 because I'll never hear it. But I feel like this one was pretty good too. I've been enjoying this little phase of the podcast that we're in. What is this phase? It's not really driven Enjoying this little phase of the podcast that we're in. What is this phase? It's not really driven by a specific thing. It's just sort of an intermediary phase.

Yeah, just kind of relaxed, just catching up with each other. It's a very genuine appreciation. It's almost like mid-season, mid-episode pleasantries. That's a great way to put it. This does feel mid-season, mid-episode pleasantries. I'm really excited to find out what constitutes the switch of volumes oh yeah the volume is you and me both i don't yeah that could be like a decade long volume one i've just been what season are we in we're in season four i've just been throwing volume one out to extend the title

but i do i do assume there will be a volume two at some point. And as soon as that happens, we'll do volume two for a while and then it will be revealed that it's like chapter one or something. We'll still be in one of something. Edition one. Alright, let's stop talking to each other. Well, except for you two. You guys will continue

to talk for a brief period of time, but I'm going to stop talking to you guys. And Jeff, I won't see you in Vegas. Gavin, I won't see you this weekend. But I hope you have a great time. I assume that because we're not spending time together in Austin or anywhere else, the weather will be lovely and you'll be able to swim and get some sun. It's like 42 degrees this weekend. Yeah, eat some barbecue and do whatever it is you do, buddy.

And Andrew, I hope Canada is pleasant. Thank you. I'm actually going to be in Vegas next weekend. Are you going to be in Vegas next weekend? Yeah, I am. I'm not even... What? I'm in Vegas next week.

What? In June? Family trip. Yeah. You motherfucker. It's a family trip. You're a liar. You're a fucking asshole.

No, I'm not lying. You're a liar. Are you're a liar. You're a fucking liar. No, I'm not lying. You're a liar. Are you serious? You are such a little fucking liar. You said you weren't going to America. You wouldn't step foot in America. It's too soon. It wasn't my choice, okay?

It was a family trip that I didn't plan. I didn't... What do you mean? In the same month that we wanted you to go to Vegas? It's complicated, okay? On my birthday weekend? The week after Gavin and I were supposed to go to Vegas? We could have planned a big weekend together!

We could have hung out with your mom! I don't believe it. I think he's lying. No, I'm going to be there for a week. You're not- What? June 20th. I leave June 20th.

Probably need to schedule with Eric about recording, maybe. I don't know. What? I don't even know. Sorry. I didn't plan for it. I don't even know what to say to this. I was excited.

Who goes to Vegas for a week? It was a whole thing with, like, apparently the tickets were, like, cheaper if we came back on a different day. The tickets, if you went with with us would have been free! Well I didn't plan this as I said I'm just going on this trip And I was really excited internally I was really excited because I thought oh we might all be in Vegas at the same time

coincidentally that would have been time Well that sucked all my good feeling out of the mid season mid episode pleasant I'm just kidding I'm not going to Vegas making, mid-episode pleasant. I'm just kidding. I'm not going to make that a joke. I'm just kidding. That wasn't real.

I'm just joking. We might need to reschedule next week. That was a kidding. All right. Well, somebody's got to end this, so let's stop doing this. Thanks for listening. Yeah, thanks for listening. Like and review and subscribe and tell a friend.

Tell two friends. Tell an acquaintance. Tell a teacher. Tell a parental figure. Maybe tell a boss. Tell an employee. Tell a retail worker. Brighten their day.

If you go to an airport anytime soon, be sure to tell the stewardess and the flight attendant. I think as they're referred to now. If you go to McDonald's, maybe tell somebody you see somebody with a shake. Tell them they're lucky. The shake machine is always broken. But tell them. Tell them. Hey, listen to face.

They talk about shakes sometimes. And oh, if you're a dog lover, tell somebody about face. I don't know why. We'll see you next week. In all seriousness i'm definitely not maybe going to vegas do you you are fucking shit he's he's going to fucking vegas hey guys major league fan jack here with a look at next week's episode of face jeff has a new metal roof the gang hits up ebay the billionaires need help too What is the safest mode of transportation?

Jeff is a big Explorers fan. Gavin flips a coin. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.