F**kface - Almost One Year // You Cannot Unshit a Portapotty [47]

Episode Date: April 21, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Andrew starting a fire to cover for using a fire extinguisher, a leisurely bike ride with crashes, predicting Zimmerzone, and Geoff's card stream plan. Sponsored by: Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), BetterHelp (http://betterhelp.com/face), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/12face + code 12face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I hung out with Jack the other day and he mentioned that he was listening to F*** Face and then Eric was like, you sounded like Jack and I took it like an insult and now i'm self-conscious about how i start the show because i don't want to insult you what i don't know how to start the show anymore what do you mean you've never learned how to begin with this is a good point that's an excellent point hello and welcome to another episode of the fuck jack i F*** Face podcast. Episode 47. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me as always

Gavin Free and how would you like to be referred to this week, sir? Oh, however you want. Both names work. Yeah. We'll go with Peyton Sommar this week. Nice. Yeah, that's great. I actually, for how I have that bits email, I have it, I think it's

Andrew Slatt. It reads like Andrew Raymond S have that bits email, I have it. I think it's Andrew Slatt. It reads like Andrew Raymond Somer Pan, which is great. It's a great structure. It's a very like how I should look at it. Hey, so I want to get back into what we were just talking about, Andrew. Before I we were did Gavin, we were dancing dangerously on the precipice of of doing content before the show started. Oh, shit. Luckily, luckily, we were dancing dangerously on the precipice of doing content before the show started. Luckily, we stopped. How early were you guys here again, then? Because I was here at three.

Andrew and I were both here. We were here about 15 minutes earlier. Just talking. We were talking about you a lot. We'll cover it with you later. Don't worry. It's coming from a place of love. But we don't want to do it on camera right now. Oh, that's kind of you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, Andrew was telling me that we were talking about how we're almost at the one-year anniversary of the show, or at least the 52-episode anniversary of the show. And he was saying that he was really excited that for the anniversary, he wants to fire off his fire extinguisher. He was trying to figure out ways to do it safely. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, I figured it'd be like a cool, exciting thing that was going to be a surprise at the

time. But now I guess we'll just talk about it because I brought it up. What do you mean safely? Like you don't want to inhale it? Yeah, well, no, I don't want it to shoot all over my apartment. I don't want it to be a thing I have to clean up because they can really spread. They can be a nightmare from what I've seen. So do you want to talk about?

Well, first off, if you don't want to talk about this, we can. No, no, no, no, no. We've already gone so far. We could also we could also just beep that whole part out. No, no, we could just talk about it. I'd be curious to hear if Gavin had any ideas on how to accomplish this, or maybe people would know a better way to do this. Just shut your eyes and hope for the best. No, not i could do that any day that doesn't solve any problems

you're just explaining firing the extinguisher i mean you've cleaned up worse you had to clean up an upside down bowl full of cupcake i really don't i mean that was an easy clean it landed on the towel you cleaned it you cleaned it with your damn mouth is why it was easy. No, no, no, no, no, no. It took you two hours to clean it. It wasn't emotionally easy, Andrew. It definitely was not. It was emotionally devastating, and I'm not going to get out of my comfy, warm bath to deal with that cupcake in that time.

I'd have to reset everything. I don't think I told you, Jeff. I told Gap. Well, you may have been together, so you may have heard by proxy, but the next week, literally one week later, same cupcake, same place, walking them up to my room.

Because I got made fun of for the bowl, I put them on a plate. They're both on a plate, and I'm in my room, and I fall. I fell with the cupcakes, landed on the bed. They're fine. Saved the cupcakes, but I just can't't it's dangerous those cupcakes

are apparently dangerous for my health what do you trip on i stepped on like an adapter i had for a wall like a converter it was just on the floor and i stepped on it my ankle immediately panicked and i just fell on the bed but it led more into a conversation of if there is an item in my hands and i will fall i will break both my legs before I let that item get damaged. It does not matter. The item immediately becomes a million times more valuable, even if it's like a glass of water. It doesn't matter if it has value or not.

It's just I will never... I immediately go into save the item mode. When I see your floor in my head, it's the floor of a six-year-old child. It's just like Legos and like a plastic shard crayons puzzle pieces yeah there's it's just a just candy wrappers everywhere i mean that's not true but i'm also looking at a candy wrapper on my desk but it is not this is this is an exception and pam and waffle bomb the pam the waffle bomb is gone here's what i was gonna say andrew here's

what i think you should do. I do, I do, I appreciate Gavin just saying close your eyes and hope for the best, but I think you need to, I think you need to prepare for a contingency.

It is going to make a bit of a mess. That's not a reason not to do it. In fact, I would argue it's a reason to do it. However, I think you need to allow yourself some plausible deniability.

So here, let me construct a scenario for you. Okay? Okay. We want to set off the fire extinguisher. We want to mitigate the amount of cleanup and damage. And we need to have a good exit story in case things go sideways. And the police or the fire department gets called out for what they think is some sort

of a fire-related emergency. The police? So here's what we do. Here's what we do. We don't know what's what we do. Here's what we do. We don't know what's going to happen. Here's what we do. Crank up the hot dog warmer in the closet. Go in, shut the door,

set off the fire extinguisher in the closet. That should eliminate most of the mess. But if for some reason the power is so strong it blows the door off or whatever and it causes some sort of a catastrophe, you can always tell the police or the fire department i my my hot dog machine caught on fire and i was trying to put it out okay so your solution is to add a fire hazard to make it more valid it doesn't really

prevent any damage yes because it gives him an out it gives him a story out which is what he's going to need an out from the police who will be deployed obviously to any squeeze of a fire extinguisher whatever whoever whatever public i don't know how it works in canada whoever shows up to help it's not in public though is it he's not no he's not blasting it in a supermarket i don't know what you know but he's in a apartment complex it sounds like eric says it sounds like i might not know how it works in america either i don't mean cops cops cops. I just mean like EMS, whoever.

Whoever comes when there's a problem. The other day when Andrew's fire alarm went off, sirens showed up. We heard it. It was on the fucking podcast. Whoever drove that siren, that's who I'm preparing for. That's a fire alarm. They're pressing a fire extinguisher. It doesn't have anything to do with the alarm. Who knows

what could happen? A bunch of white dust goes everywhere. That's what that's it yeah i don't know if there's a chemical though in the stuff that would activate the alarm it's something who knows i don't know i don't know like definitively i think all i know is when you when you set off a fire extinguisher indoors there are going to be unintended consequences and you need to protect yourself with an out that's all i'm saying uh i mean i feel like that's not really i'm just explaining how it happened in that case and i don't know if that's even a less dumb of way it's just i feel like just saying it was a bit on a podcast is more reasonable than the whole

hot dog scenario that you're laying out i I guess, but then you're basically saying I did this as a meme or a lull, and if there's any cost incurred, I would assume you would be responsible. I don't feel like that changes with your story, though, in any way. I don't think there would be hot dog sympathy for me. I think there would be hot dog sympathy.

I think there would be hot dog... I think any time a house catches on fire from a wacky appliance or something they're not that that's their sympathy for that I don't want any mess though I don't like I don't want it it has to be clean it has to be contained closet probably probably is a key word and also like if I fire it in the closet I'm not gonna pick it up on mic it has to be at my desk or else I'd well I guess I could I don't think I could move my setup. My setup is very set.

It's not portable. You can just film it on your phone. Yeah. Uh... Yeah, my phone? I'm gonna film it on my phone? You remember that video I sent you, Gavin? I'm gonna film it on my phone. It's a great idea. A fucking postage stamp of a video everyone will enjoy.

I sent Gavin... My phone's a piece of shit and i sent gavin a video off of it because something happened in a game like a glitch and it i don't know what happened but it sent gavin the photo was the size of a postage stamp it was completely unviewable it was like 60 pixels wide or something it was insane but i just put something in the mail andrew you did and maybe that problem won't be a thing anymore. That's a weird, you said that in a threatening way, even though I know it's a nice gesture. I immediately think of like Jingle All The Way with the bomb pack. Like none of the, someone says I sent you something in the mail.

I don't know. There's a tone to that. I sent you something nice. You know, I think I got to take umbrage with you, too. You're criticizing me for telling Andrew to overcomplicate theatrically his fire extinguisher when Andrew's life mission is to overcomplicate things. I feel like you're pointing a lens at me that you never point inwardly at yourself or that Gavin points at you.

I think that's a totally fair thing. I think a lot of the overcomplication comes, though, in the moment of anxiety and panic. It's not calculated a lot of the time, I'd say. That would be a very calculated plan. Or like if the plan is calculated, it's to make less effort for myself. And that what you're describing is more effort. Yeah, but less effort than going and collecting a bunch of chinese food menus and then placing them around the neighborhood just so you can get close to a house to pick up a

package yeah that's less effort yeah no you're right that's fair that would you're right i would yeah no i was wrong it falls in the category i just don't think it's effective is the problem i don't see how i'm helping myself with your thing in any way that's totally fair i was just trying to give you some sort of a dignified out that's not like so you don't end up on the news i appreciate local local podcaster all you know triggers fire alarms since half of vancouver island for for internet bit you know that that's more of a story than like what was there a fire truck sent out oh yeah there was like some sort of a problem with a toaster or something.

They go, oh, okay, whatever. I think it would be Garfield Legend Falls, considering the last time I was in the paper. I think it would be a follow-up. Garfield Legend Falls, there you go. How many different reasons could you end up in the paper? Oh, I mean, it's limitless, I think. It's not hard.

I feel like the fire alarm one is super easy. That's one of the easiest ways to get the paper. Yeah, I mean, but I could go a lot lower. I think as long as you blast this thing in a room that doesn't have a smoke detector, like a bathroom, a room that's used to steam and particulates, cupcakes, just do it in there.

It will give you a great excuse to clean no no no no no i'm not i'm not firing it without a cover like i need something to slip oh i need some way to absorb the mess you need a big top i need a yeah well like i said jeff my idea was to duct tape a bunch of trash bags to the nozzle but then when i explained that to somebody they said into a bag yeah i was just gonna fire it into a bunch of trash bags. They said either the bag would blow out at the end, like from the force of the pressure, or where I taped would not hold and it would just shoot off and then go everywhere. Yeah, I think you need a very big bag because it's compressed into that metal container.

How about this? Do you have a neighbor that you hate? No. Oh. Do you have a neighbor that you don't know very well that you'd like to get to know? All of them. Okay. Well, here's what you do.

If you want to mitigate mess on your end, let's do this. Wait for a neighbor to go to work. Then you know they're not home. And then we'll just take it into the hallway and we'll stick the nozzle under their door. We set it off that way. And then you just go back to your room and we could maybe stick like a try to stick like a like a little pin camera under there so we can kind of see the mess but anyway and then uh just be out in the hallway later and be like when the guy or

lady is getting off work and just be like it's a crazy day there was all kinds of noise and all kinds of weird stuff they open up their door and they're like oh did it happen to you too weird happened to me let me help you clean it up and then you can go in and you can videotape the mess and then we'll get to see that. I like this idea more. The fire alarm went off today. There you go. In my place.

I think you're right. I just need to, but it wouldn't line up. What are the odds it lines up? I mean, we've been pretty lucky with things. It'd be insanely lucky if it lines up with that episode recording. Well, I just run out of here in the middle of the recording and just start firing a fire extinguisher everywhere

just to make sure everything's good. I was precautionary. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. Where's Nick today, by the way? He's late. He had to handle some sort of a work-related emergency. Oh, is he going to be in this later?

Yeah. Eric said he'll be here later. One of my notes for today's episode is to talk to Nick about something. I have a theory about Nick, but I'll wait until he's here. Maybe he's dodging you. Oh, maybe. Maybe he saw my notes. So I have one

to... I have a lot that we could talk about today, but we don't have to talk about any of it. Do you want to go through your stuff, your Nick-less stuff, Gav? I feel like I should save the Nick stuff in case it does show up, but I have prepared. That's why I said Nick-less stuff. Yeah, I have, all right, chill out. I have prepared a small sound clip that I would like to play.

Okay. Took an embarrassing amount of time to make this, going, looking through old stuff. I'll just play it. It's about 40 seconds long. Are you ready to play. Okay. Ooh. Took an embarrassing amount of time to make this. Going, looking through old stuff. I'll just play it. It's about 40 seconds long. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay.

When you were telling me on text, I'm pretty sure that you'd done this exact same thing last time you rolled your ankle. No, I didn't. No? No. This has never happened before. That's why it was eventful.

I thought that last time you rolled your ankle, you were ODing on the painkillers and you had like an anal fissure of some sort. No, never happened. What's going on with your butt, dude? Jeff, didn't he say that he had an anal fissure because he was taking too much? No, no, no, no, no, no. I had an anal fissure recently. I haven't had a chill boy now.

What's up with the anal fissure? It was the prescription I was saving my ankle To spite my butthole I don't know if you know Anyone exactly like you Andrew But that's about how frustrating it is To interact with me

On a weekly basis Let me Now I gotta look it up I didn't realize i apologize oh my god um anal fish what is uh you do go on to say that you did you don't know if it is one because you didn't really look and it just felt like you were shit in rocks and you had like icy hot on your ass on that. But yeah, I'm honestly going,

I'm really weak. I'm really trying to listen to the things you're saying. I'm trying to take it in. I want to pull off this content for future episodes. I want to have a good sort of visualization of what we talk about so we can, so we can be on top of it. And you're making it very difficult for me. I'll be honest. That was, that was was my fault there was no bleeding in the past um i think what

happened was i probably googled it right before we recorded and only read when you pass very hard or large stools during a bowel movement i was like that seems like it was what happened i don't think i had a maybe i did i don't mean i'm not a butt doctor i can't diagnose myself i just know there's no blood it's less important what you actually had but more importantly what the things that you say seem to count for nothing no i i just i didn't i forget what happens in this podcast week to week oh my you think i'm gonna remember how i phrased the butt injury from what i want how far ago phrased it identically that's how you phrased it yeah and also how am i why do i remember how

you phrased it why am i i don't know you've done it i had to go back i had to look through i you have no idea how long ago that was i thought it was much more recent. That episode was from November. Yeah. That was a long time ago. I did not... That was quite the twist, Gavin. I thought it was going to be Waffle Bomb related because you asked me about that episode somewhat recently. I did not know. I apologize. I didn't remember using

the terminology. I accept your apology. It was worth it for doing that, I think. That was... Gavin, that was gavin that was wow that was that was the best thing you've ever done for this podcast maybe also the only thing you've ever done one of the only things you've ever done for this podcast we feel shitty about it's like i'll be taking offense to that. It's like I'm living in my... Fuck it. Never mind. Go on. Continue. Go ahead.

I mean, this is like both of our bit. Should we talk about our bike ride? Okay, yeah. Here's what we got. I have the... Yeah, let's do the bike ride. You want to start? No, you take it away. I'm sorry.

I'm laughing still. Sunday now, Gavin and I... Gavin and I have been trying to go for a bike ride together for over a month. And one of us keeps canceling it for work or whatever. Or the weather the weather fucking shit on our mouths twice last week i think we were trying to do it like i was like i was like texting gavin and he's like uh this isn't happening i'm like yeah i know and so sunday we finally got to go on a lovely little bike ride together and uh first off i

have discovered a new joy in life and that joy is uh leisurely riding to the top of the hill to sit and turn around and wait and watch while gavin struggles mightily for hours to make it up that hill god damn dude he his bike is even more bullshit than it seems to look at he he can ride no-handed leaning back like he's on a couch straight up a hill. And I'm just switched down to like gear one. And he's looking back at me, my bike swaying back and forth. You know, when people are like swinging all over this to make it up like 200 feet of hill. They decided we should immediately start with. And he's just cruising up.

And then he's talking to me while he's doing this he's telling me stories suddenly i'm like 50 meters behind him i'm like jeff come on and i can't hear most of the story and i'm having to pedal really hard to hear what he's on about he's not wrong i took him we immediately went up this giant hill and then i got to the top of it and i fucking i thoroughly enjoyed watching gavin get up there and then i got to the top of it and i fucking i thoroughly enjoyed watching gavin get up there and then i thought it's gonna be a lot more hilly this way let's just turn around and go back down and go the other way and so we just immediately turned it was for no reason and my bike uh because it's been whenever we last went on a bike ride and we

talked about how the brakes are switched and i almost died that was the last time i rode this bike so now both the tires are flat the air just i guess there's a hole in one of them we pumped it up immediately after about two minutes they were like flaccid and every time i went over a hump i could feel it bottoming out against the against the metal you never mentioned that i'm riding up up hills with with basically two flat tires while Lazy Boy up here is just cruising up them. Andrew, when he says Lazy Boy, he means it literally. I realized the disparity in our gear really quickly. And so in an effort to be as insulting to Gavin as possible

and as smug and as dickheadish as possible, I went up the whole hill without using my hands. And instead, I interlocked them behind my head and leaned back on the bike as if I was taking a nap in a chair. Then I get scared by this. We were on the road. So there was a car coming up behind us. The first car that got up behind us, I was sort of a little bit scared.

It was coming. It was clearly impatient. I thought, I'll get out of the way. Jeff just leisurely cruises out into the road, slowing this car down. And I panicked and I just turned off the wrong way, which Jeff found really funny that we ended up in different directions down the street. Then later on, it happened again. And it's in like a one lane. Jeff, we're running through the middle of the road and clearly like some cars are piling up behind us.

So my thought is, let me get to the side. Jeff doesn't think this at all. He's like, I'll stay in the middle of the road and clearly like some cars are piling up behind us so my thought is let me get to the side jeff doesn't think this at all he's like i'll stay in the middle but then i was so panicked by this car i put so much pressure on me that my the bottom of my pedal swatted the curb and it bounced my bike up jeff starts shitting himself with laughter again and i'm thinking you wrecked you loser yeah i came i came off i came off i had to pull off to the side uh i was laughing too i couldn't see uh but just like laughing all over each other jeff makes fun of me for ages about this and then no less than what eight minutes later jeff crashes for no reason into a wall his handlebars his handlebars hit the wall in front of a load of people by the way and i'm talking to him not looking at him i'm just to his side

he's telling a story all i hear all of a sudden is i look over jeff has hit the wall and it gets like stopped the front of his bike dead i look over his ass is about two feet above the saddle and he's still holding on. It was the most bizarre freeze frame and I think a much more embarrassing wreck than the one I did. It almost pitched me full over

the front of the bike somehow. You turned right as I caught myself and it was more embarrassing if only because you were right. There were probably 25 people in front of us. All looking at us. There was a girl looking and front of us. How did you hit a wall? All looking at us.

There was a girl looking and laughing, and I just started. I felt like that was the perfect time to point and laugh at you as well. Oh, yeah, you certainly did. Here's the deal, Andrew. You said, how did I hit a wall? Yeah. We were on a bridge going over Lake Austin or Travis, whatever it is, the fucking water. And that bridge has a fucking death on the left

side over the railing and then on the right there's just a wall that goes up to the like a highway or something and i just that was i was trying to weave between people and i just i just weaved a little too hard to the right night my the i see handlebar caught an edge and then it just pulled the whole bike into the wall and i flipped over it and got it. We're two grown men though. We're crashing like we're six year olds who just learned to ride. I don't know what's wrong with us. It might be the hardest I've laughed in

two or three months. It was, I felt like I felt like I had so much fun. I felt like I was ten years old again. I went to bed going, I want to get tomorrow and ride my bikes with my friend again of course we didn't but it was like it was the most fun i can't

tell you how much fun it was i we had a really good time for three straight hours it was yeah but do you gotta be honest do you crash most times that you ride because there's no way once again i feel like i'm always around you when this stuff's happening it can't be anything to do with me it must be a basically a daily basis that this happens i crashed today but not bad but yeah i did crash today oh wait what what does that mean oh just my tire like caught a edge wrong when i was going over like uh like a concrete area and uh yeah and i fell off the bike for a second. But it wasn't bad. I wasn't going fast and it wasn't bad. It just got jammed up.

But yeah, I would say probably every time I ride. Which is every day. I was telling Gavin in that moment though, Andrew. So I realized I've unintentionally made the repairman and the bug person think that I'm a porn director, I think.

Why? Well, Emily and I went to Marfa and out to West Texas for a little time away recently. And we rented a little house out in the desert. And in that house, it had this really cool little portable projector. And we got kind of jazzed about it because you just kind of move it around the house and it was really easy to use all Bluetooth and stuff. And so when we came home, I started looking at them and I found one that looks just like a little Bluetooth speaker and it's got like a five hour battery. And so I bought one and it was pretty cheap. And we just stuck it

in the bedroom on a tripod and pointed at the ceiling just for the hell of it and instantly became hooked on watching ceiling TV. But now I have a giant tripod with a big glowing black thing with a green dot going right at my bed. And we just walk around and we don't ever think about it. But then I caught, we had the bug guy come over the other day

and I saw him I just saw him looking at it for a while and I thought oh fuck, he thinks we film ourselves or something. And I didn't know how to explain to him because we hadn't had any kind of dialogue yet. I didn't know how to explain to him, yeah, that's a projector, that's not a camera, you know.

That's where I project my porn. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And so, and then later in the day, I was having, and I don't know that I want to get into it today, but you know, I was having a foundation repairman come out and look at my house. And then he was like, he was like, you got interesting stuff going on in here.

And I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then I explained it to him. He brought it up. But anyway, and then on top of that, on it, I watch my breaks, right? I watch my baseball card, basketball breaks, that kind of stuff. And I do that on YouTube, but I can't't be bothered i don't actually have a youtube account like i've always just used like different roosterteeth accounts because for work and stuff so it like every time it loads youtube on my ceiling it tries to get me to log in and so i have to hit skip but that

fucking login screen every time give you i give you a hundred dollars if you can guess what it is andrew oh there's no way I'm gonna guess. I'll tell you what it is. It's a giant Gavin free. So it's like a slow-mo guy's still. So on my ceiling every night when I want to watch TV, the first thing I have to do is look at Gavin's face like it's fucking

Queen's Gambit. I'm like, I'm learning Gavin chess moves every night of my life. He's one of the last things I see before I fall asleep. No, I should have guessed that because I have the annoying thing. That's my cable box app does the same. Every time I log into

my fucking YouTube app through the cable box, I have to see Gavin's dumb face. Isn't that the worst? Isn't that the worst? Because I'm like framed perfectly on the left, but then all of the sign-in text

is covering up Dan. Well, I do appreciate that part. If I had to look at Gavin and Dan, that'd be a rough day. But I can stomach looking at one of you, but every night I'm laying up and I'm just thinking about like, I'm just that part. If I had to look at Gavin and Dan, that'd be a rough day. But I can stomach looking at one of you. But every night I'm laying up and I'm just thinking about like, I'm just thinking about that little girl

in the fucking episode one of The Queen's Gambit moving chess pieces around. But I'm doing it with a British idiot. Yeah. Why not get the perfect Mother's Day gift for the woman in your life who wiped your butt first? Years before you even considered it. Not only did she do it, she did it with love. And then, most likely, she taught you how to do it.

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you just dropped i feel like a horrifying image jeff into our discord without context i got distracted by that what is that yeah i'm looking in the chat i dropped it in so we could talk about it in a minute but we can get into it. This is something that came through the Instagram, I believe, that someone from a comment lever alerted us to. That is a Don Zimmer teddy bear that was created as a promotional item by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and given away at baseball games.

Oh, it's just horrific. It's great. Somehow he looks sweaty. It's horrific. It's great. Somehow he looks sweaty. He does. He does have a gleam to him.

Yeah. A bit of a oily sheen. It's like something designed to be cuddled that looks like it doesn't want to be cuddled at all. Absolutely. Very serious expression. Only wants to talk about baseball. I'm just imagining that now in that in that scene in et where it just pans slowly what would be the last thing to be picked up by a kid i hope somebody makes that image we'll put it on the instagram if you make it please oh my god uh so i bought

three of them one for each of us immediately the second I found it. So I'll let you guys know when they come in. Awesome. It's funny. As soon as we got the text about it, I went to buy that. I went to two different listings and they were sold immediately. Those were the two I bought. Yeah, but that that's while we're talking Zimmer.

Gavin, did you see the thing that that hit Twitter today? Trevor showed it to me about the the the predictive off topic from like a year ago no all right Andrew hasn't read it hasn't heard it either I've listened to it I think it's insane I'm gonna try to play it to you guys through my microphone if it doesn't work uh or if it sounds like shit I'm sure Nick can superimpose for the episode but you guys can just listen to it on your own I'll send you the link but this is from an off topic over a year ago off topic number 229 that's a podcast that we do uh some of us do at the company that predates this one it's called red dot dually listen to this that's the shirt that's the shirt that's gonna crop up when we're like 10 years from now on a reddit post or a twitter post or whatever zim zam social media comes out 10 years from now on a Reddit post or a Twitter post or whatever, Zim Zam social media comes out 10 years from now.

Yeah, I'm going to Zam a shirt up there. That's what you do in the future. We're going to see photos of people being like, oh, I just picked up this shirt at Goodwill, and it says front on the back. You guys know what is this? I can't wait for that moment when it's completely irrelevant and no one has any grounding for anything for it trevor collins over a year ago unintentionally predicted predicting the

zimmer show he was in the zimmer zone before any of us he fucking created the zimmer zone we're swimming in his wake the zim zam whatever am i on that podcast uh i don't know uh i wonder if he's subconsciously influenced me if i'm on it if i'm not on it i've probably not heard it i don't know uh let's see it just says michael was on it trevor was on it matt bragg was on it i assumed duly was on it uh i don't see on there gav alfredo yeah how fucking nutso is that though that is bonkers we've had some pretty ridiculous coincidences on this podcast we have that's like that uh well i think we can obviously we should talk about the coincidence of the port-a-potty phone call because some people in the audience some comment leavers seem to have trouble believing

that that was legit but also like similarly i was similarly, I was telling Andrew earlier that story, Gav, about how you and I were filming a Minecraft series for the company where the point of the series is when you die, you're dead. It's called you're dead, you're dead. So you only get one life. And the goal is to be the last person alive. And it can take hours and hours across weeks. Right. hours and hours across weeks right and in it you were chopping down a tree which there's a new mechanic in minecraft when you chop a tree down you actually fell the tree like in the old days it would just pop and all the gubbins i think it might be a mod that we're using oh okay maybe it's

a mod but now it's like timber and it falls and it does like what a tree does it like kicks back a little bit and you stand back kind of reminds me of that game, The Forest, we used to play, actually, the way it falls. But in that episode, Gavin was telling the story about how, or we were discussing the story that you told on F*** Face about how you thought I threw a branch out of a second story window to hit you in the forehead, and now you don't sunbathe anymore. And while we're telling that story and people are like, why would you think Jeff would hit you in the head? Like with a tree of all things, Gavin cuts a tree down,

chops a tree down and it kicks back in a way that it doesn't normally and it fucking kills him. And so we're like, I'm like telling the story and then it pops up because Minecraft has death messages

and it just says, Gavin Free was killed by a tree, a fallen tree. It was so shocking that I didn't even really make a death noise. You can just hear me go, like a little gasp of like, oh my. It was the craziest coincidence in timing. And it was so weird.

And I feel like that happens so perfectly and so often for us at F*** Face. It's almost like as if the universe has ordained the show. Yeah, it's like everything is circling Fling face somehow and we don't even know it. It was hard to convince people that I didn't do it on purpose. Yeah. And I mean, the way I play games and videos, very careless. I try and be as careless as possible, but I don't ever do anything like that on purpose. I mean, I'll play in a dangerous way for sure.

But I don't, that was so unbelievably perfectly real and I can't believe it happened. Absolutely. It is an insane moment. There's another one, like even before the port-a-potty call, which was crazy. I mean, like the, the layers of which us being able to capture that. I didn't even, I didn't even think about it, but yeah, like we had to move the recording for, I don't even know why we moved it, but we moved it.

We typically record on Thursday. We recorded it on a Friday that week, which is rare. And then we had to do two because Jeff was out the next week. So unless like we did two episodes and we moved the day, it's the only reason. Like if we only did one episode that day, we still would have missed it. It was like 30 minutes into the next episode. It was just 30 minutes into the next episode. It was just an Insane coincidence and honestly ideal for me because I hate talking to people on the phone like especially numbers I don't recognize so did but it became like the oh, this is so clearly insanely perfect show content overrid any

Personal anxiety say we have so it was ideal for dealing with this, but you're very good on the phone. You're very polite I feel like people like talking to you on the phone why don't you know but internally terrified the entire time i just yeah yeah it might sound good on the surface inside panic factory happening but uh it overruled the moment overruled the anxiety for me i'll go further and say too that if that hadn't happened in that moment i i would oh i only picked up the phone for content i would have continued to i guarantee you there was not i i still would not have seen that port-a-potty at this point if that hadn't happened on camera then you couldn't have forced me to pick up the phone and i would have continued to dodge that or get creative or come

up with some other bit but i i did not intend for the port-a-potty to make its way to my house that picture of you inside it, by the way, phenomenal. Oh, amazing. Yeah. It, uh, we'll put that up,

I guess, whatever next week, right? Whenever last week, last week or next week, whenever we filmed the stuff. But, uh,

I mean, I, I intended to do stuff with the bit and to, to continue to go, but I didn't want it at my house. Uh, and, uh,

and then it turned out to be a blessing in disguise because we ended up having so much fun and came up with so many ideas for the for the porta potty and i was able to have it in my front yard next to a mega walking and bike riding path where tons of people uh commute and get exercise and for eight fucking days or something, nobody used the porta potty. I was terrified, and every morning I would get up and check. I was so scared. So scared. Because the second that thing, the second

some stranger Peter pooped in it, it was dead. There's no recovering from that. There's no amount of cleaning that fixes that porta potty so that we can then use it for future endeavors. It was going right in the trash.

You can't unshit a porta potty. You cannot unshit a porta potty. That is, you should put on a shirt, Gavin. So is it at the office now? Did it get picked up? Yeah. Yeah, they picked it up. I think it got picked up yesterday.

And I'd like to point out, not a single neighbor, not that I know any of my neighbors, not a single one of them came over and said, hey, what's with the big, ugly, pink shitter in your front yard? Well, it's because it was beautiful. If it was HOA, they'd be like, you've got to paint that a different color. Yeah, exactly. That port-a-potty is one inch too tall.

Another sort of random, not nearly as exciting as the port-a-potty is one inch too tall. Another sort of random, not nearly as exciting as the port-a-potty call. When I was doing one of those bullshit puzzle things, like when I made that server and I was just kind of making up as I go, like the riddle thing, I had a clue and it was related to the old NBA commissioner or something. I don't remember what it was so long ago. I don't remember the David Stern. Yeah, I had like a David Stern thing. And then it just I didn't know this.

David Stern has two kids and their names are Andrew and Eric. And it just I had no idea. And so then people that's how they interpreted the clue. And they went on this whole thing about David Stern's kids. I just didn't know. This is a random coincidence. This is like the amount of things that just happen to connect accidentally with the show are phenomenal.

That's how I remember that. That was insane. Other Don Zimmer products we kind of went over. I just wanted to share these as well. I feel like Tampa really took advantage of the Zimmer zone more than any other team did. Yeah, they knew what they had. Product not as great, but the box, I just think it's fantastic.

Look at that smile look at oh my grin i don't know if he has eyes but he looks thrilled to be a snuggle it's weird the only thing i can think to describe that is that his face is so much bigger than his face yeah yeah like there's too much face for his eye holes yeah I had the product not great doesn't really look like him but that box what a fantastic the product actually looks like Bob hope a little bit and they also

made fans which is great which is just a fantastic life. It's like 20% throat. Thus. I bet its cooling abilities are much higher than anyone else's. The second this podcast is over, I'm on eBay buying those.

Oh my god. Man, speaking of... Jesus, is there more? No, I mean, I have one more. It's not quite as good. I could share it. They did... It's more just like he looks like a fucking hot dog in...

Maybe I didn't even save the... Give me a second. I gotta go pull the image. They made bobbleheads. They made this Zimmer. I think it was Checkers. It wasn't even the team. Checkers made a bobblehead they made this zimmer i think it was checkers it wasn't even the team checkers made a

bobblehead of zimmer and he just looks hot dog like kind of orangey red what color would you say a hot dog is red uh brown brown you'd say brown i don't know what i'd necessarily like but it's hot like a hot dog like i would say nature's orange it's a hot dog zim for you nature's orange is It's a hot dog zim for you. Nature's orange is literally an orange, Jeff. Oh, that's true. Not nature's fruit orange, nature's color orange. Well, yeah. What?

It's like the oranges the meat will get, maybe. I think oranges are way more complicated than we realized. That's something I've learned from this podcast. What was the Mandarin? Not calling a Mandarin an orange, Gavin? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was that whole orange-related discussion. Eric, what color is a hot dog?

You're asking me what color a hot dog is? Yeah, I want to get an outside opinion. Were you not listening, Eric? Aren't you supposed to be listening? I am listening. I was taken back because I don't... There's a lot to oranges. Yeah, I think there's...

Oh, is clementine an orange? Yeah. What color is a hot dog? Pink. But we were just talking about the color of a hot dog. That's how we got to oranges. That's... Right.

But then circling back really fucking got me. That was bizarre. But what's the color of a cooked hot dog? I would give it a pink color. Do you not think it's pink? Oh, maybe pink. After cooked, I would say less pink do you not think it's oh maybe pink after cook i would say less pink i say it's like a brownish like a brownish when i put ketchup on a hot dog it's red on brown kind of here here's the thing like when i think of a hot dog i don't think of

one that i'm holding in my hands with like grow marks on it i think of what a hot dog in a commercial looks like and to me it's like that really pink hue that it never really is when you eat it like that in my head is what color a hot dog is you know what i mean i think that settles it okay there you have it see you later thanks eric i mean brown is just dark orange, really. Are we going down another Gerpl route? Oh, man. We already did the color thing. Even though Andrew never said it.

So, oh, I did say Gerpl. That's, no. We will go back to the tapes on that. You said I didn't, and then we reviewed it. Yeah, you said it. You said it. In the process of, like, buying this zimmer shit andrew and i have been well we've all been working on kind of in the background an idea for sort of a like a live streamed event things kind of around like dumb baseball cards and and collectibles and stuff and and opening up and kind of like having fun with

them whatever and so andrew and i've been looking at uh doing some research and on like weird funny stuff to collect and i discovered that there uh are apparently it's very popular game of thrones trading cards are very very popular and uh they're very expensive actually i bought a box for this thing this live stream that we may do and it cost me like 120 dollars which i'm hoping uh will be worth it in the end but they as a part of it they're we're looking for chase cards things to look for and they make these autograph cards but they're quote autograph cards so the characters will put like a famous quote that they that they said down and then they'll sign their name so as you can see like here's an image of some you can see see like Arya Stark there said, uh, Maisie Williams said, uh, Valar Morgalis.

That makes sense. Uh, Jamie Lannister just wrote a Kingslayer. The guy that plays the hound wrote, I like to kill people. But my favorite, uh, my second favorite on the left is the lady who was one of the, one of the mean religious shame ladies. She just wrote shame and an exclamation point and signed her name, which I want to get now. I think that's fucking phenomenal. But on top of that, the

dude that plays Hodor, his card, he just wrote Hodor, Hodor, and then signed his name. It's like Gus's shirt. Hodor in quotes. That shame Hannah Waddingham, I think is her name. She's in Ted Lasso.

Have you seen that? No, I haven't, but everybody tells me I should. It's pretty good. Is she good in it it she's amazing in it okay well calm down i'll oversell it anyway i thought those were funny and then andrew you found some weird you found some lost shit that was really bizarre i did i found i was trying to get i didn't save the photo of one do you remember that character that had the eye patch hurley's in like season no not hurley i'm talking about a different card first the uh there's the eye patch guy he was like bald and he was menacing he worked for the that had the eyepatch. Hurley. No, not Hurley. I'm talking about a different card first. There's the eyepatch guy. He was like bald and he was menacing. He worked for the Dharma

Initiative. Is he the guy who kills Charlie? Yeah, drowns him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The grenade thing? Yeah. They had a series of cards that were just his eyepatch from the show. Which seems super inconvenient for that character. I like the idea of stealing stealing someone's eye patch and then cutting in the

pieces and selling it but even better than that there was a hurley card and uh the great the rare piece with authentic show item and it's just sand it's just a sand hurley card i assume fake sand as well yeah i assume they're not actually stealing sand from Hawaiian Island they're just grabbing the beach calling it a card um I just don't know and I don't remember what the fake sand was for I need to go back and see cause I feel like they buried somebody

with sand in that season well he's got a in the photo on the card he's got a like a container and it looks like a skull or something in the sand well I know Nicky and Paolo died, but I think other people get killed in that season. Oh, yeah, they get buried alive because they have that paralysis thing, don't they? That is true. They bury them.

But I don't know if Hurley did that. I feel like Hurley was in love with Libby, and Libby gets shot. This turned way deeper into a lost conversation than I intended. That Pa guy was that crazy looking dude in 300 wasn't he the guy with all the shit in his face oh the bad guy yeah xerxes yeah well he was yeah yeah he was i don't i can't think of him in any other role though it's 300 and lost was he in love actually no was it no what's i don't know doesn't really matter there's some great stupid entertainment carts that exist i don't know where it ranks on the towel i think the towel collectible cards might be the greatest dumb thing i've ever seen it's i was talking to we were we had this idea there's no way we can accomplish this but a card

company we're talking about this gavin needs to do like the grossest inserts i was saying like i'd be so excited for cups like in the uf like a run of ufc cups it's just the guy's cut especially like if he was fighting against like the greatest of all time having a cup that was accidentally kicked by like an amazing fighter, be a fantastic collect. That'd be pretty good. But, uh, I don't know.

I, I, is there anything else we want to talk about the stream thing? I feel like we're still planning. Uh, no, no, no.

We're just, we're still in the planning phases. We got a long way to go, but we've got some really funny stuff that I'm pretty excited about. And, uh, we figured out the perfect role for Gavin on Sunday, which I'm really jazzed about too.

Uh, I'm actually a little jealous of Gavin. It's, it's the role I've always wanted to play in something. So I'm a little jealous that he gets to do it. But yeah, we'll figure that out. And then that'll happen at some point. Or we won't and it won't.

And then you'll never hear from it again. Either way. Really behind this idea. Well, I just, you know, I like to set expectations low, as it were. Do you got, oh, Eric said, I'll make sure it doesn't happen. Wow. I want to quiz Eric on his Lost knowledge.

He seems to be on the, or is he just Googling it? I think he's Googling it. Eric, do you know Lost? What a weird collectible. Yeah, I like Lost a lot. I think that was probably like the last TV show that I watched where it was like worth my time. You think the ending was worth your time? Yeah, you know, I didn't hate the ending.

I didn't, you know, I didn't love where, how long it took to get there, but I didn't hate the ending. I didn't hate the ending the way that everyone, like a lot of other people hated it. I thought it was good. It's like The Sopranos. I like that ending too.

I like the ending ending, but I thought all of that being like nullified by it's, ah, let's not get into it. Nullified? What are you talking about well like all of like the flat all of like the alternate reality stuff turns out to be hello to bollocks not real it's not a lot no because that was the finding listen you really want to talk about this we listen wants to hear you guys are going to give if there's any audience that's listening to this it's a holdover from the arty, they're going to get PTSD. We spent years talking about that show, and they begged us not to.

I can tell you a story about the most treacherous horse ride of all time, if you'd like. Yeah, I'd love to hear it. All right. So a couple weeks ago, Emily and I were out in West Texas in the desert. We were in the mountains, kind of near Big Bend. And we noticed that there was an ad ad we were looking for stuff to do and i like to ride horses she's a big horseback rider as well a lot of fun and so uh we found a place that did horseback riding that was open and appeared safe and everything with covid protocols and it was like a small group. So we scheduled it for

like late in the day. It was like a sunset thing. Thought that'd be fun. And we drove out there and we get to this horse place. And first off, it's giant. It's on the side of a mountain and there's nobody there. And we walk around going through like restaurants and buildings and stuff. And it's just like a ghost town. And it, and suddenly I feel like somebody's behind every window staring at us, you know, like it was super creepy. And I thought like, ah, we're going to get murdered. There's like one road out. We're like, we're deep into this place. This is a little scary. And then a lady showed up and she was totally normal and it was fine. But she, she put us on these, uh, these

horses and she goes, well, we're getting on the horses she goes do you guys want to wear helmets and uh and i go well yeah of course and she goes okay you don't have to and i go well yeah but we're horseback riding and she's like and she's like yeah that's fine the helmets are over there and as we're going over there i was like do we have to wear a helmet and she's like i just have to i'm just required that to recommend you wear them but and i was like are you gonna wear a helmet and she's like uh no probably. And I was like, are you going to wear a helmet? And she's like, no, probably not. And I was like, I guess I won't wear a helmet then. Why not?

And that turned out to be fine, the decision, but it was a huge mistake that I realized instantly. And I'll tell you why. And I will never ride a horse without a helmet again. Very dangerous. I won't do that. So she was like, it's a gentle trot. It's going to be real easy.

If you've ridden horses before, this is going to be no problem. So it's not really dangerousot it's gonna be real easy if you've ridden horses before this is gonna be no problem so it's not really dangerous these are real calm horses we're like cool then she pointed us towards a mountain and we went straight up it like like you see a goat hanging off the side of everest up and i look around and you realize that these mountains from a distance you see these like green hills and they look kind of like as they go up and then you see like little rocks dotted out throughout it. It just looks really soft and pretty. Up close, it's limitless boulders that are jagged. jagged to like it's almost as if it's almost as if you took a razor blade and you made it a ball and and then covered the ground with rock ball razor blades the horses are like stumbling around

and i'm like oh my lord and i'm like this is a little more cowboy than i have done before and she's like yeah it's cool these guys do this all the time and she's like keep it as calm and talking to us but it's a little it's a little like we're going like straight up and then it's starting to get dark we get really really far up where and it's beautiful there's like this huge sunset and stuff but early on at this point i look at emily and i'm like which one of these horses do you think we're gonna have to shoot before this is over because i'm i just imagine when these horses fall and i'm breaking a leg or something you know it's terrifying and uh we get all the way up there and we're stopping and we're talking and we're kind of viewing the the vista and stuff and she's like okay now we're gonna go back down and i turn around and i look down this mountain and

i'm like oh i'm definitely dying like there's no way i'm making it back down it was brutal getting up and we go down and we're going down a little bit and then we get to a point and it's a little rocky and she's like yeah we'll be a little careful over here and then I don't know how to explain this other than it was me in the back then Emily then the rider the the trail ride and their horse and the horse just out

of the blue fell in slow motion and fell on the lady in slow motion on the side of at the top of a mountain as the sun was going down and I had no cell service. I don't know how the fuck to get. We're

miles from civilization. I don't know where the fuck we are. And the horse just falls over on this lady and I go, ah, oh my God, are you okay? And she just immediately goes, I'm fine. It's no big deal. Don't get off your horse. And I'm looking at Emily and I'm like, should we help her? And she's like, it's okay.

Just stay calm. It's not a big deal. I'm fine. From under the horse. And then I'm like frozen. And I just like, I just, I like pull my fish out my phone real fast to see if I have signal and I don't. And I'm like, this is all happening.

It probably happens in 15 seconds, but it feels like a year, you know? And cause I'm just looking around and and all I see is Desert Mountain. Darkness. A jagged, boulder-filled, razor-bladed path going down. I don't even know where it goes. We're going down a different way than we came up. Not that I could have figured it out the other way, either. I'm just thinking, like, I hope the horse can lead us back to safety.

I'm thinking, this lady's going to die. How do I pick up a thousand pound horse? She's trapped under it. She's laying on all these jagged rocks. Like, this is like, we're going to have to medevac somebody. Like, there's going to be a helicopter. You know, she's going to be like the lady. We're going to strap her in.

She's going to spin. You know, I'm like, I don't know how this is. Am I going to be able to get back by tonight? Like, am I going to freeze up here on the mountain? How do we? All this stuff's going through my head in about 10 seconds and then she just yells at the horse she's like i don't remember the horse's name so i'm gonna say bill she's like get up bill and the horse goes it doesn't move and she goes bill get up and then the horse just fucking

uncrashes like it just in slow motion stands back up and the lady just stands up. She just dusts her legs off, hops on the horse, and just takes off. It's like, all right, sorry about that. Let's keep going. It was no big deal. In your mind, you had already started visualizing, well, I'm going to have to cut her horse open and hide inside it while she's underneath it.

Yeah, exactly. It's like, all right, I'll take one of the razor blade rocks, and I'll taunt on the horse, right? I'll stuff Emily in, that'll keep her warm. You know, I don't know, I'll like,

I'll bathe in the, I'll use the intros, I guess, that'll keep me warm. I don't know, you know, and then it's like, I don't know how to set a broken bone.

I figure the lady's got hours to live, Max. I figure her lungs have collapsed, you know? And it was, she was totally just like, just like, yeah,

that never happens. But, you know, it's why you gotta be careful. Anyway, keep going. And then we just go down, pretty as you please, had a wonderful. But, uh, you know, it's why you gotta be careful. Anyway, keep going. And then we just go down pretty as you please, had a wonderful rest of the

ride, and what about our day? Was that the most stressful sunset that you've had? That was the most horrific sunset I have experienced in 45 years. It was beautiful. But I was like, if that lady hadn't been okay, I might still be up

there. I'm also reasonably certain because we were on a desert, in the desert on a mountain, surrounded by rocks and cactuses and shit. I am convinced that had I had to get off that horse, I would have been eaten by snakes within 15 minutes. Eaten by snakes? They would have found half of my shoe and that'd be the only way

they knew that Emily and I were even there. There'd be a horse beamer and half my shoe and that would be they'd make one of those rock graves as a marker for me and somebody would put two sticks together and they'd wrap it with fucking twine and

they'd stick it in. They'd be like, we think he probably got eaten here. I just love the idea of them finding three dead horses, two dead people and a bloated snake, like slithering off like, ah, the other guy must have left. Not even a snake. He said snakes like a gang of snakes made an alliance just full with jeff anyway anyway uh i just mentioned maybe i maybe i shouldn't have mentioned that i didn't wear a helmet but i just wanted to like always wear a helmet safety first people i had a momentary

lapse in judgment i was fine it worked out okay but the second i started to go up that mountain i realized that if i were to fall off that horse, I was going to die. It's amazing that the lady didn't die. She was fine. She might have come across stronger because of it. She was a pro, but I was terrified for the hour and a half

that I was doing that. Are you worried about the helmet-centric comment levers by saying that? Ooh. No, I assume that they'll say, wear a helmet, idiot, and I'll go, I agree. Totally agree.

Andrew, before we wrap up this one, I know that you've opened up ffacebits at gmail.com. Yeah, that's a great point. More or less than 50% of the emails have been people telling you to eat the pencil. Oh, I mean, I've gotten a lot of emails.

I'm working through them there's currently 447 that i have yet to touch uh not many i feel like our pens what i was more surprised by and i guess i shouldn't have been surprised by this because i i said it in a way that was a declaration of war but i'd already talked about on twitter beforehand so i didn't really think about it as that actually be the inspiration for it for going after Jeff but the port-a-potty armada a lot of people willing to sign up to go against Jeff that's what I'd say an overwhelming majority have been subject lined as and that's not really what that email is intended for it's just like if you have something you want to contribute in some way also and it's a mistake in a sense of it's it's wonderful it's been so exciting seeing all the

different like skills and talents and how amazing people are in the community with what they can do. But it's just a constant reminder of how useless I am creatively or artistically. It is just the extent and just the volume of which people are talented is impressive. Feel free to email that email at fxbits at gmail.com. That felt like a whole promo wasn't intended to be just genuinely super impressive what people are are able to do i would refute that andrew i think you are creative and artistic in in different in comedic ways yeah like all like you you're mentioning we're talking about this whole thing and about the the port-a-potty armada if you

hadn't sent the port-a-potty if you hadn't had that creative artistic idea to send a ludicrous pink port-a-potty to threaten it and then to actually do it we wouldn't have the idea to stuff all of us in the port-a-potty including eric and make us record an entire album called the pink album that wouldn't exist that's art that's going to exist because of you could we do like a hands on a hard body scenario of like the last well no nobody wants to win the port-a-potty i was gonna say last person in the port-a-potty gets the port-a-potty but nobody wants to just be a rush to try to get out of the first person out has the win first person out wins the port-a-potty i like that idea that could be even better yeah flipping it whoever can last the longest oh not even the longest just has to out

last the other what are the chances that all four of us fit in? I don't know. You're going to have to get into the... Which is another reason why it's good nobody peter pooped. Because you're going to have to get into the toilet. Probably. You're the smallest. You're very limber.

So it's going to have to be you. What we'll do is we'll put Andrew... I was thinking we'll put... You sit on the... We put you in the porta potty and then maybe I could sit around it so your head's coming out of the toilet, Gavin. Between your legs?

Yeah, between my legs and then I can come back and then we'll have, Eric can kind of wedge in because Eric's got to produce it. He can kind of wedge in by the urinal. Oh, I was imagining Eric like Sam Fischer up in the ceiling somewhere.

We could do that. We can maybe do that too. There is, there is, they are taller than, than wide, right? So there's more vertical space.

And then Andrew's just like in the, in the main floor area, but, um, and then lobby. Yeah. The lobby. He's in the lobby.

And then, uh, and then I figure we'll, uh, we'll mic ourselves up and then we'll record whatever an album is. I think 44 minutes. And then we'll call it the pink album. But we'll have to we'll have to do that post COVID like that might be a year from now.

That's just someday. Yeah, it would be. I think that'd be probably the least enjoyable podcast, maybe record and Rooster Teeth history. I'd imagine. I think that's what the audience is betting on. I it just would be terrible. Yeah, I think it would be funny for like maybe the first two minutes and then it would occur what we we'd have to do for the rest of the show yeah I mean we saw how long

Jeff lasted in there just on his own it was about 90 seconds yeah you almost got stuck inside the port-a-potty Jeff I don't think you mentioned that uh yeah we didn't talk about that. I did briefly get stuck inside the port-a-potty and went from zero to call 911 in my head very quickly. My leg, my left leg got wedged in a way that it was instantly painful and I didn't think I could get out.

And I was like pushing on it trying to figure out how to break the metal brads to like Hulk myself out of the porta potty. You know, like just push the thing apart. And then luckily I was able to,

in a fucking panic, just like, just vibrate my way out of there real fast. However, I think that, I think that the idea of us stuffed into a,

into a porta potty, much like people used to stuff in the phone booths, I think is so funny that the comedy will be real funny. Is anyone claustrophobic? Yeah, The idea of us stuffed into a port-a-potty, much like people used to stuff into phone booths, I think is so funny that the comedy will be worth it. Is anyone claustrophobic? Yeah, I'm not claustrophobic. No, I'm good.

You're good? I'm good as far as that goes, yeah. I like that Jeff said in a way that it'd be hard to believe that his brain went from zero to 15, call the police, when his last story was a person fell over and he immediately was ready to bury the body cut open the horse and die on a hill due to a falling of the snakes

it's very believable Jeff you do not have to sell us on the immediate panic of going 9-1-1 dude I was fucking scared for like maybe you got in there deep you were deep in the porta potty I was impressed of how deep you were able to get into the thing I was hoping to get all the way in and like below.

So I wasn't visible. Not possible. I'm a little too tall for that. But I think Gavin might be able to do it or get close. Am I going to be more cramped than that time you buried me in a coffin? You buried Gavin in a coffin? You'll be... Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you'll be less and immediately immobile like you won't be buried under like a foot of dirt like you were like in the coffin you were stuck you couldn't dig your way out of that you couldn't have there was so much weight on top of you you wouldn't have been able to push the top off also i we we hammered it in so you were hammered into the coffin as well so you could have you couldn't have gotten out regardless. I couldn't even bend my knees to kick against the lid. I couldn't get my legs that way. Yeah, but you were...

It was squishy. You were laid. You were stretched out. You're going to be pretzeled in the porta potty. That's going to be where it gets more frustrating. Okay. Why? What's what why?

Why? Why was he buried in a coffin? Oh. If you had an opportunity to bury Gavin, wouldn't you? No, that's fair. It's a great point. I built a two-season ghost hunting show around the idea of covering Gavin in pig's blood and putting him naked in a field so that he could attract a chupacabra, which we never got to do.

And bury Gavin alive was the other idea i accomplished one of those two ideas so time me to a trade track and then and then got a fake train to come up the track scare the shit out of me jeff with budget is dangerous i'm actually glad that eric can't secure any money for the show okay well we should wrap up. We're getting yelled at by our incredibly angry producer. All right. Do you guys got anything else you want to say?

Take it away, Andrew. What? Did we ever make a definitive call on what color Hot Dog is? Is it brown? Is that what we said a lot? I think it's pinkish brown. Pink and brown. I'm going to

try to retreat away from my nature's orange statements and try to put as much distance between me and that stupid moment as possible. I'm embracing pink and brown and I'm going to pretend like the color orange never existed. Perfect. Why don't you wrap it up,

Gavin? See that subtle play I just did there? That wasn't even a joke at all. gonna pretend like the color orange never existed perfect why don't you wrap it up gavin uh see that see that subtle play i just did there that wasn't even a joke at all i just gave it to you i just made you hold it that's really good yeah that's a professional move right there that was a pro graceful thanks for that thank you how are you worse than jeffis look if you do it bad if you do it bad once you never get asked to do it again so no that's a great point but now you you revealed that so it's ruined what do you mean at least he fucking did it you passed it off well yeah I asked a great question I feel

like and then I passed out you want me to close the show I'll close the fucking show thank you for listening to another what episode is this 47 47 thank you to listen to episode 16 47 that's a great point he never showed up save my Nick conversation for next time

oh oh that's a cliffhanger oh and because people real fast we're saying goodbye emergency went long we're saying goodbye and we're wrapping it up Eric and this is us saying goodbye love you see you next week and all that stuff but before we go I do want to mention that we don't want to make you guys wait for a whole year to get a pink album so we are gonna I think

the plan is to make episode guys wait for a whole year to get a Pink album, so we are going to, I think, the plan is to make episode 16, the series, as a record thing. And thank you for listening. What is it called? Review and rate and do the stars and suck all the butts. F*** Face Out. Comment Leave.