F**kface - Andrew is On Your Side // Geoff's year old Cosmic Crisp [136]

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about the fireplace video maybe, Santa School, raccoon neighbors, child Andrew was kickable, breaking Andrew's nose, Geoff and Gavin throw up, life hacks, Rush Hour 4, ba...nana moon pies, and double salted black licorice. Check out challenge trier u/AH_Vinny's youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@vintage_tv/  Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com  Sponsored by Hello Fresh http://hellofresh.com/face21 and use code face21 ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/face and Honey http://joinhoney.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:45 It's not your fault. It doesn't sound like you'm on your side, Gavin. It's not your fault. It doesn't sound like you're on his side at all. It does not sound like you're on Gavin's side at all. I couldn't be more on Gavin's side. You agree at arguing against people and then at the end revealing that you are on the same side. You're completely, you've done nothing wrong here. It's just comedic. Sometimes you gotta just laugh.
Starting point is 00:02:03 You just gotta laugh at the situation. What are we laughing at i'm laughing at the fact that you answered a question with zero answer but you've said a lot of words that was that was it that is not a man on your side that is not no response of a man on somebody absolutely not i'm completely on gavin's side there's no zero other response you could give it just is a comedic one in the context of what was being looked after
Starting point is 00:02:27 or what was being searched for by Eric. I guess there's give content where we're talking about the fireplace video. Which is out by now if we did it.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I would assume, well, I can't say that. No, we can't say that after the pizza thing. But I don't understand. I thought the whole thing
Starting point is 00:02:40 about the fireplace video is that we were filming it and then it has to be out like this year. Yeah, well, that's what I said is that it would be funny because like the whole point of it we should have done this going into the start of december but now we're just doing i don't think
Starting point is 00:02:51 it matters on that much if it's late it's already late what would be the turnaround because we talked about this briefly about like how fast we could get it up yeah i would say but considering it's the 20th and it should be out before Christmas, we didn't do it. No. Well, wait. We're not doing it now. Well, when's it supposed to be out by? Isn't it a Christmas thing? Yeah, well, it should be, but I think we're past the window of Christmas.
Starting point is 00:03:14 So I just assumed it would come out in January. Get a nice January fire. Okay. Then we can put it out in January so it's good and early for 2024. Exactly. I can't wait for two YouTube videos to come out one is called 8k fireplace the other is called fireplace day I'm just excited
Starting point is 00:03:30 to see the thumbnail the idea the idea that Jeff just gave was that Andrew does eight hours of commentary so that would be two videos I independently had that thought because I think it's funny to do like a reaction video to a fireplace thing but it's eight to do like a reaction video to a fireplace thing but
Starting point is 00:03:45 it's eight hours long yeah that's a lot I don't know maybe I'll try I have my own idea for the fireplace that I'm excited to present to you guys when I get to it okay there you go face 136 my name is Jeff Ramsey with me as always Andrew Panton and face YouTube strategist, Gavin Free. I don't really like this type. What's up? I don't know. If anyone ever raises an issue, then suddenly it's like, you do it. I just want you to know that I'm on your side. That's really all that's important to me.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Watch your fucking back, because Andrew's on your side, dude. He's coming for you. No, I'm with you. Arm around shoulder, I'm on his team. Team Gavin in this dilemma. Speaking of the fireplace thing, do you guys know how much would you guess it would cost to book Santa in Austin for 15
Starting point is 00:04:36 minutes? Well, is this like a full beard Santa or real beard Santa? Proper Santa. I think it's about $250 for 15 minutes. What would you say gavin hundred hundred bucks so i was thinking about because i'm not gonna be in the the fireplace filming thing uh but i thought oh what would be a fun way to somehow like interact with that content and i thought what if i just send a santa to the house randomly during the eight hours and so i
Starting point is 00:05:04 searched and i got quoted i sent like a thing out to 10 different santa claus agencies in texas and i thought maybe i'll do this but then i got the first one back 325 dollars was the first quote i got back for an hour for 15 15 minutes so for a grand an hour that's ridiculous They get to work fucking one day a year. They got to make a year's worth of pay in one day. They just take an hourly rate and times it by 12. Yeah. Like why even reach out?
Starting point is 00:05:34 They must live in a different state. Like I appreciate it. Are there guidelines and regulations around being a Santa? Is there a Santa union? And is it just like there is? There is like a training program for it. I don't think it's like an official union. I watched a video on this years ago.
Starting point is 00:05:49 But there is like a guy that is considered the staple Santa that everyone should look up to. And he does courses at a program where people show up and they graduate, essentially, Santa school. And they go through like it's a two or three day conference of Santas. And was this guy a licensed Santa or is it just like some plumber? He is. No, he's like the face of the Santa, the mall Santa empire, essentially. And everybody loves this guy. And he's Jewish.
Starting point is 00:06:18 But I mean, the guy that you were getting a quote for. Oh, no, I have no idea. Those those dudes are specialized. I think you do have to go through some sort of certification and training because what they do uh and i know this because emily was looking it up for something else uh and so i just happened to learn about it through her but they'll come into your house for like 250 300 bucks for 15 minutes you put the kids to bed right or whatever then you let them like peek down the stairs and then santa comes in and like drops some fucking presents out in front of the tree and like drinks the milk and the
Starting point is 00:06:47 cookie and then leaves. And the kids think they saw real Santa Claus. I mean, can't just one of the parents do that? Yeah, but if you want to pay somebody who looks a hell of a lot more like Santa Claus than your dad. Yeah. There's training involved. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:01 You gotta respect the craft, Gavin. Kids just hop in there. that was uh the lowest quote i ended up getting with i think was like 185 which is closer that's like on the range of maybe wanting to do it but after uh the cucumber bit is there different packages like is there an option for them to come down the chimney oh i'd wish that'd be fantastic there should be that would be such a funny checklist to have when we'll come to i would check that every be fantastic there should be that would be such a funny checklist to have when we'll come to i would check that every time i don't care what the premium is have you ever been at a party where somebody has appeared out of the chimney at some point
Starting point is 00:07:35 during it that would be amazing i've had raccoons come down my chimney yeah how were they as party guests have you really yeah there was a was a problem with my first house. Like the flu hatch thing was stuck open and raccoons would come in and die. Oh, is that how you had the dead raccoon in your house? They came in from the fireplace? Yeah. Yeah. The next door neighbor was telling me that the previous owner always had raccoons falling into his living room.
Starting point is 00:08:08 And he'd have to like, he'd trap them in cages and then hand them over to his neighbor. And his neighbor was telling me in graphic detail how he had a piece of wood with a big nail through it. And he would just club these raccoons to death. Oh, God. That was the first conversation I had with that neighbor. Bashing them like Charlie bashes the rats. I didn't have many more conversations with him after that.
Starting point is 00:08:33 He was like, yeah, if you've got any raccoons, just bag them and bring them over and I'll get my plank. That's terrifying. How do we get off this animal death kick that we're on at the moment oh we can we pivot already do you want you want to well we have a lot of things we can just stop talking about it let's pivot it's really easy it's an easy pivot to do i was so i as stated on this show december 15th was my mom's birthday it's recent and uh as part of it i went through some old family videos and i was doing this as prep beforehand are you gonna share that
Starting point is 00:09:13 photo i am gonna share this i didn't want to bring it up because i didn't know if you would if you wanted to share it with the class i'm gonna i'm gonna share it with the class okay i said for context months ago when i was initially going through i found some old family tapes and i was just reviewing what we had um i noticed that my head at all stages of life was absurdly large way too big for my body and i said to jeff and i know this is on brand i'd never done it i the whole thing. I was an extremely kickable child. I was so kickable just because I feel like I would fly like the momentum of my head going down a hill,
Starting point is 00:09:52 like just the impact and the speed it would generate. I was extremely kickable. And so I said to Jeff, next time I watch these, I'll send you a photo to illustrate my point of not just how fucking big my head was, just how kickable of a child i was like you talk about kickable in the head like your entire body anywhere no no like if
Starting point is 00:10:12 you kicked me in the chest because of how big my head is it would be like a boulder rolling down a hill like it was just like the he he looked like an upside down weeble wobble like you want to kick him in the head just so that he'd flip over and be the right way. So I'm going to post this right now in the group thing. Look at how fucking big my head is. It is absurd. It's massive. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:10:38 There's so many angles. I almost look like a... I feel genuinely bad laughing at a baby but it's you oh it's massive it looks like so i have looked at this photo probably 400 times already it's i almost look like a ghoul from fallout because it's like i don't have enough skin for how big my head is like everything is pulled did your face eventually move towards the front of your head it did it did we we had a thankfully we approached forward it never rained on andrew's nose what do you think was unbreakable it's covered in my youth he's under the
Starting point is 00:11:20 i mean the immediate exactly like the dude shed. I mean, the immediate thought. It looks exactly like the dude with the helmet under his hat without anything there. That's unbelievable. I look like Mega Man's kid. There's all sorts
Starting point is 00:11:33 of angles you could go with this. I've said I look like Pac-Man with legs. Like, it's just, I'm all head. I'm 90% head.
Starting point is 00:11:41 That was very, because I was expecting a big head. But what you're leaving out is that your head is the normal size from the eyes down. It's the top half of your head. You had like half a big head. He has an adult cranium in a kid's face. It looks like I'm hiding one of those baseball helmet hats under my skin.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Like that's just in my head like I invented that did you get stung by a wasp earlier in the day I wish you look like an extra in like the Xavier school of from a young age you would definitely have like CG building blocks floating in front of you. It looks like he just didn't make the cut. He went to the other school and saved his school
Starting point is 00:12:34 for not so gifted youngsters. If I gave birth to that kid, I would immediately think telekinesis is an option. If you gave birth to that kid, you... Oh my god. What did you do to your poor mother? C-section. Oh.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Andrew, that is... That is so extreme. It's incredible. No. Do you understand my hat problem? It's real difficult. It's a real problem. You've got like...
Starting point is 00:13:06 You've got like a medium-sized face with an XL head on the top. It looks like... It looks like someone went apeshit in The Sims. Oh my god. Oh, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen. I sent him a photo of me as a kid and he uh he had the nerve to say i had a big head i think you did dude you're like the leader oh there you
Starting point is 00:13:32 go i'm not a picture of him yeah that's insane how old are you there uh probably like six or seven months old i'm surprised you could stand i i think i'm, no, I'm just like in a chair thing. Oh, okay. I'm in like a stand chair. Right, and you're using your psychic abilities to make it float around the room, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm actually holding myself up.
Starting point is 00:13:55 You must have had the strongest little neck ever. Oh, maybe. Yeah, it could be. That's a fantastic photo without this origin story pillow mountain can never have existed i needed that's how it built the neck i get pillow mountain now yeah i mean that head requires at least four pillows by itself oh easy yeah that's a mass yeah i bet you put a head that heavy on pillows it just goes right the room oh yeah no you need you need firm support for sure undeniably so that was great i was happy to see it's also like the best angle it just made me so
Starting point is 00:14:30 happy to come across that hey still a cute kid though i wish i had i'll see if i encounter anymore i still have a few more tapes to go through i'll make sure to send them to you i have to scroll up because i can't stop laughing at that. I would have been terrified of you because I would have thought, that baby's trying to set me on fire with his mind. But very cute. Have we measured your head? No, there's another one where I am wearing a hat. I got a train conductor cap for Christmas.
Starting point is 00:14:58 So I think at some point it maybe bounced out and then it grew again. I don't know. There's a small window where I think it may have been average. I'll have to go through a document. Would you say you have an, a big head now? Oh, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Yeah. Yeah. Massive, massive head. Yeah. Like one of those like Easter Island statue, big head, like that level of huge.
Starting point is 00:15:23 What just means you have, you have that much brain yeah that's definitely what that means actually it shouldn't let's hope it doesn't mean that because i'm not at all utilizing it if that's the case that's a terrible usage of i think i know why you've grown up thinking you have an unbreakable nose because i don't think anything could hit it yeah that's what i was saying yeah i gave it cover it's protected it's like at the back it developed at a time i never wanted to happen but i don't think there'd be anything worse than breaking my nose i'd be so disappointed like beyond the injury itself just demoralizing
Starting point is 00:15:57 yeah that would that be like life shattering for you because it would change it would change a lot of universal truths in your life i would imagine it would yeah there's a clip of one of the baby tapes where i'm being given a slice of apple and i've never been more on edge i was like you better fucking accept this apple you better enjoy and accept this apple because this is this is part of my being now i thankfully ate it i was happy about it but i was worried i was terrified that i would reject the apple because that does not align with who I am. Any idea what kind of apple it was you were being given? I was really trying to tell, but I couldn't.
Starting point is 00:16:30 Definitely wasn't a Granny Smith. I don't think Cosmic Crisp definitely didn't exist at that point. Oh, God. Speaking of apples, let me send you guys a fucking photo. Yeah, the apple bag. What a perfect transition. So does it say on the side, Jeff, you wrote when it was going to be
Starting point is 00:16:45 opened by right i think we're actually past what was the date written i'll show it to you guys and you can see it uh it's pretty clearly let me see please don't be too fucking powerful to send this jpeg okay there you go december 9th 2022 okay so we're way past it and the whole point was that this apple was supposed to be able to last a year yeah but unfortunately today's the 20th so we're way past it. And the whole point was that this apple was supposed to last a year. Yeah, but unfortunately, today's the 20th, so it's 11 days past due. It's 11 days past due. On top of the fact that I've seen other apples that have been held for a year that have existed way better than Jeff says.
Starting point is 00:17:19 I think putting it in the bag was the death of Jeff's apple. On top of the fact that your fridge doesn't really work. Yeah, it's just I think the fridge and the bag together did not make for an appetizing year for this apple. When did it start looking? Well, when did the inside come out? Yeah, I picked it up like four months ago and it looked like this. And I went, oh, God, I wonder if it's cider. I well, I don't. Oh, I hope I don't get. I don't drink. It may have gone alcoholic. I'm scared to open the bag.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Should I? Here, should I? I think you have to open it. You should go on camera. Yeah. Okay, I've turned on. Oh, hell yeah. Camera on.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Can you guys see? Yeah, if you give me a second, I can record. Do you want me to record this? Yeah, please. I can't promise that I'm going to eat it, but I can promise that my tongue will touch it. No, no, you can promise that you're going to record this? yeah please I can't promise that I'm gonna eat it but I can promise that my tongue will touch it no no you can promise that you're gonna eat it
Starting point is 00:18:07 it's fine give me just a second and I'll oh I'm loving the laser show by the way oh thanks that's the thing that scared the shit out of me
Starting point is 00:18:14 the other day when I thought someone was trying to strangle me that was the shadow? it was in an yeah wow what a jolly shadow
Starting point is 00:18:21 yeah it's pretty nice well it's got you know it's all over tiny town oh yeah oh yeah I love your tiny town tiny town. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah I love your tiny town. I know it's fucking rocking this year, dude. Okay. We're recording. All right. Here we go Here's the bag You can see the
Starting point is 00:18:35 fucking oh my That's like that's like it looks like a dog got popped oh That's that's like that's like it looks like a dog got popped oh No, we're pivoting away. How does stuff get out calling? Do you need to add stuff? What is it just for men on his own for mints on its own? Maybe yeah, I'm might honestly have booze in it this hasn't been opened in over a year, so now let me smell No, Jeff, if somebody's piss smelled like that, would you comment on it in a public place? Yeah, if I smelled that, I would comment on... Oh, it's so... Are you able to extract the apple and show it?
Starting point is 00:19:21 Oh, what are you... Oh! Stop! It just smushed in half. It just smushed in half. Gavin's gonna throw up. Gavin's gonna throw up. Is the smell...
Starting point is 00:19:34 That's the apple. Does... no. It smells like... I threw up. You threw up? I threw up. Well, join the club. You're not the only one. I'm about to. No.
Starting point is 00:19:52 It's so mushy. No. Jeff is squeezing the apple, and it's just mushy and liquid. Do not eat it. Do not. Just stay away from it. Do apples turn into poison at some point? Can somebody look this up?
Starting point is 00:20:07 No, I think there's never been a poisoned apple ever. And I don't think that's a thing for fairy tales. No, it's fine. Go for it. Because it. Don't. No. Just put it in the bag.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Just a little. Just like a little nibble. So small. No. No. No. Tastes like an apple. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:20:27 Oh, wait, hang on. He stopped, now he's gonna throw up. Yeah. Stop, no, Jeff! He's leaving to throw up, which is more than understandable. Gavin is already puking. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:20:44 Nick, how you doing over there? I'm going to be honest. I have to look away. Nick? Oh, Nick might be. Nick just passed out. I mean, that's just a lot. The fact, yeah, that's great.
Starting point is 00:21:00 People will be able to watch it on the YouTube version. They want to see it live as it's happening. He's coming back. You know, Jeff is a real trooper. The fact that he hung in watch it on the YouTube version. They want to see it live as it's happening. He's coming back. You know, Jeff is a real trooper. The fact that he hung in there for all the icy hot. The Millie had to come in and go, what the fuck is going on? Millie had to check on you. I threw up.
Starting point is 00:21:18 I threw up on my kitchen sink. Oh, no. Oh, my God. That was gross. I'm going to turn off my camera. Yeah. All right. Oh, my God. That was gross. I'm going to turn off my camera now. Yeah. All right. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Stop recording. You okay, Jeff? I was hideous. Gavin, where you at? I missed all that. I threw up. I threw up in my mouth. You can watch the YouTube version when it comes up.
Starting point is 00:21:43 You can enjoy it again. You're not the only one that threw up, buddy. Oh, man. Did you eat some? I was throwing up. Yeah, he did. Oh, he ate like a bunch of it. Yeah, I took like three bites. I just need to brush my teeth.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Yeah, that's fine. We'll stop down for just a second. It's fine. Well, I'm just going to say that I think this is the first time. Why would you post the puke? What the fuck? Ew. Wait.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Why did you do that? That's what came out of my mouth. Yeah, but why? Nobody's going to question the, what are you doing? Some Tabata. That is, Gavin, that's way grosser than what Jeff did. That's way worse than what Jeff did. That's infinitely, we can't post that.
Starting point is 00:22:27 What are you doing? They'll never know what it is. Oh, it's terrible. I just, this is the first time that I think I'm not the one puking on this show. Are old apples poison? Oh my God. I mean, there's not, as Eric said, there's never been an iconic poison apple.
Starting point is 00:22:48 You'll be good. I mean, I assume you chewed it but didn't eat it. I hope you didn't consume any of it. I couldn't swallow it. It was too ripe. Yeah, you just spit it out. I spit out anything, but I got juice in me. I really appreciated that Millie was so concerned about you,
Starting point is 00:23:04 she had to come check. Yeah, I appreciate it. Just to make sure you were okay. She's a good kid. She loves her dad. And, uh, I think she's, you know, just want to make sure I'm not dying over there. I can't believe you tried some of it. Well, that's my job, right? I'm genuinely, I'm impressed with you. I'll be honest.
Starting point is 00:23:19 I can't believe that. That's insane. Alright, does anybody else have their year old apple? We were all supposed to do it. Yeah. No, we've been pretty open. Covered the fact none of us else, we have one. Gavin never got one. I ate mine two months into it.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Not even, probably like seven weeks into. When I get my new fridge next year, assuming I get it, and I don't have to fucking burn a fridge store down uh-huh i'm gonna put a new apple in on day one yeah yeah do the test again and do the test again are you gonna put it in a bag i would recommend not putting in a bag i don't think so i'm just gonna leave it on its own yeah i think it'll it'll work a lot better from what i've seen if i put it on a plate or something so it'll it'll it can pool into it where is the apple bag uh the one i just had yeah it's in my kitchen sink okay i'm just you know i imagine you know at the fireplace video
Starting point is 00:24:12 sounds like that's gonna happen if you want to share what that smells like to the other people on this podcast it just might be a good thing oh you think i should save it yeah i'm just throwing it out there just as like a thing that you could save is if you want the other people here to smell it and really get a sense of the scent. I'll put it back in the fridge and hang on to it for the next time we're all together. I'm back. It's a great idea. I was not expecting you to eat that. No.
Starting point is 00:24:34 I wasn't either. I also was not. I feel like I gag pretty often. It doesn't take much to make me gag. My mouth just filled on the first gag. I was very surprised. Oh, Jesus. That's so gross. Oh, Jesus. That's so gross. Oh, yeah. I just had lunch.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Lunch was high. That's true. You didn't leave. When did you have lunch? What did you have? I had some pasta with like tomatoes and corn. Oh, that sounds delightful. Yeah, sorry about that.
Starting point is 00:24:59 I did not expect. Well, I didn't think I'd actually eat it. But then in the moment I did. And then I did not expect how Well, I didn't think I'd actually eat it. But then in the moment, I did. And then I did not expect how violently I would react. Like, I threw up in my mouth halfway into the kitchen sink, and then I just dumped it out of my mouth into the kitchen sink. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:15 It was like... Oh, God. No part of it was good. Yeah. Well, anyway, there you go. Cosmic Crisp keeps fresh for at least a year and 11 days. Now, let's say if that was juiced in a glass and you didn't have context, do you think you would still, would it be a problem? The juice itself?
Starting point is 00:25:35 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you wouldn't. Yeah, no, you wouldn't. You would spit it out immediately or throw it up immediately and go, what happened to this apple juice? Are you trying to kill me? Ugh. Ugh.
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Starting point is 00:29:51 on the go if you don't already have honey you could be straight up missing out and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this show get paypal honey for free at join honey.com slash face that's joinoney.com slash face. That's joinhoney.com slash face. I added to my life hacks list, by the way. Oh, you did? You teased this in a text. I think this one might actually be a life hack. Okay, I'm excited for this because I'd
Starting point is 00:30:17 love to have a proper hack on this show. Yeah, whenever you buy something, take the manual and put it in a drawer next to the toilet. How are you going to read with sunglasses on? Sunglasses with a light on the side. Okay. It shines directly at me.
Starting point is 00:30:41 So I'm just trying to think of things. There are very few things I require a manual for that I also don't need the thing at the same time. You must have things where it's like, you know how to work it on a basic... Waffle makers and stuff? Yeah, but like, if you know the basics of it, but you want to learn advanced stuff, I have that with cameras sometimes, where
Starting point is 00:30:57 there's like a billion different options. That's fair. I just, I don't think I engage in anything in that way. So like, when I think of a manual that I use, it would be like if I bought a Lego set. But that's like reading it in the bathroom is not going to help me. I got to make it. I'm not going to remember page six. I get where you're going with that, Gav.
Starting point is 00:31:14 But I feel like any time I crack one of those manuals open and I go through it, I learn that the manual has a bunch of shit in it that doesn't, that I either I know already or doesn't apply to me in any way whatsoever and anything useful is hidden and I can't find it. I find that to be more frustrating than helpful. There's nothing like getting a game as a kid and reading the manual on the way home. That is, I think, the top
Starting point is 00:31:38 manual experience when I think of my time using them. I used to read every single page of every game manual. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Because sometimes there'd be story stuff in it, like it my time using them i used to read every single page of every game manual oh absolutely yeah because sometimes there'd be story stuff in it like it wouldn't just be instructional they were great i would even buy like pre-owned game strategy guides for games i didn't have just so i could like read the game because i couldn't afford the actual game that's interesting what is there any that you read the guide for that you never ended up playing ever? Like, I imagine at some point you would eventually play these games, even if there wasn't a media.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Yeah. Hitman Contracts. You haven't played Hitman Contracts? There are some... I think this has happened to me a few times where I'm a huge fan of something. But the third one, I hate. Like Rush Hour? Love Rush Hour 1 and 2.
Starting point is 00:32:28 The third one is shite. I don't know made it it's made by all the same people just blows and I felt the same way about Hitman Contracts which was the third one I just couldn't get into it I just played the first couple levels I thought this is just shit for some reason I couldn't even dial in what I didn't like about it so I just uh I just read the whole game that's great because it's before you could just watch a let's play did you guys see they're making a new rush hour oh god i i like saw there's a photo or something did they confirm that that was the thing that was gonna happen i thought so i wasn't sure if everybody was locked in last i heard like they weren't sure that chris tucker was gonna be in it and you can't have rush hour four without chris tucker you can't have rush hour without either of
Starting point is 00:33:08 them yeah no they're they're fight to the thing yeah it looks like uh jackie chan converged it's in the uh mentioned it's in the early stages of can he still fight though could he still do stunts i don't know maybe that'll be a part of the show i bet yeah i was gonna say i think eventually it might jackie chan might have a similar arc to jackass where it becomes funnier the less he can do the older and like what is viewed as a stunt could become part of the comedy at the time of this recording jackie chan is 68 years old yeah i don't want to see that guy jump through a window. I do.
Starting point is 00:33:47 That's all I want to see. I want to watch a 70-year-old man jump through a window. That's awesome. And then beat somebody up with a jacket. Absolutely. And I want to see the outtakes where he doesn't quite make it through the window two or three times. Yeah. You know, like in Rumble in the Bronx, in all the the post credit scenes that we show his like oopsies and accidents and Rumble in the Bronx specifically, there's one where you can see as like a giant rubber shoe over his normal shoe to hide his cast or whatever.
Starting point is 00:34:17 I bet in the outtakes of Rush Hour 4, it's just a giant rubber bodysuit that goes over his body cast. It just walks like a stick man. I want to see Jackie Chan fuck some people up with a walker like I could just see it in my head like him grabbing it like needing to use it lifting it up fighting like six guys at once like he typically does i think you're right there's room how old is chris tucker uh chris tucker age late 50s 51 oh wow that's younger than i thought yeah pretty young yeah i don't know what that movie is though rush hour for like why it just feels i don't know what's left to tell what if the whole movie takes place in a car as they both try and drive to work why just literal just stuck in rush hour stuck in rush hour okay maybe terrorists take over the old folks home that they both live in and they have to liberate it.
Starting point is 00:35:07 I honestly I feel like the only reason why Rush Hour three had to exist was because of the blooper and Rush Hour two of him saying, damn, that guy's not going to be Rush Hour three like that validated a Rush Hour three existed. And there was no blooper Rush Hour three where he was like, damn, that guy ain't going to be hour four it's like that's why i don't think i'm on board for rush hour four in the same way i was for three that ad lib might might have been the first ad lib to green light a movie absolutely yeah and it completely validated a sequel existing it doesn't matter what it's about it needs to happen there needs to be rush hour three there's a great section of rush hour two outtakes where it's just a montage of chris tucker calling uh jackie chan jackie instead of his character name to the point where he's just like yeah let's go jackie damn it and then and then jackie chan goes okay chris tucker and like kicks the door in those outtakes are the best they're honestly
Starting point is 00:36:00 i think my favorite part of all those movies oh easily yeah they're not great movies beyond the outtakes i mean they're fun for what they are but like the outtakes are easily the best part i think it's interesting that they would even like who wants to see rush hour for like what is that audience i'll see it who is that i want to see it you are you're both okay never mind maybe i'm just less on board for this would you if you were the director of rush hour 2 would you have serious thought of including that outtake in your final cut or because the blooper reel exists you'd be fine placing it there it's just such a funny line like it works like it's weird that it breaks the fourth wall and it that doesn't fit the tone of those movies at all but it's so goddamn funny his delivering the timing of it what you think that should have
Starting point is 00:36:42 just been in the cut i kind of yeah i'd be very tempted if i was making that movie to just have that be the cut because it's funnier it's a better moment than what's actually there i wonder what the best fourth wall break is oh oh that's a good question i'm gonna see what google says there's a there's a weird fourth wall break in like one of the james bond films yeah i think it's when sean connery quit and george laser b became bond he has like a like a moment to the camera he basically says like oh he does like something like oh that's not how the other guy yeah that never happened to the other fella basically just like look straight down the barrel it's so weird yeah yeah you're right oh i so i looked at like best fourth wall breaks of all time and number one one is considered to be Ferris Bueller, which I guess makes sense.
Starting point is 00:37:27 I mean, that whole movie's like at the fourth. It's a structure. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what would be like the best non-intentional one or maybe like the best ad-libbed line. I like the moment in Spaceballs where they just like start talking about the movie and then just stop talking and look down the lens. But that's, you know, like that naked gun, you always expect that to be almost expect there to be oh yeah absolutely multiple moments of that are they making a new naked gun right are they yeah with liam neeson i think yeah liam neeson's taking over the role i think
Starting point is 00:37:54 that's interesting like you figure leslie nielsen and liam neeson are close enough sounding that you it must be good i guess i don't know i mean it's same initials so they didn't have to change anything in the trailer. I think there is a fourth wall break in the Naked Gun, isn't there? Doesn't somebody get killed and they fall out of frame? Like, and they show beyond the set where the person falls out? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:17 It was like crew. I think like half of Gremlins 2, if I remember correctly, was fourth wall breaking as well because it was like they did a bunch of stuff in the theater with gremlins that's interesting we'll have to look into this I don't feel great yeah you shouldn't you should feel terrible yeah I feel a little I got a little rumbly tummy after that I already took I already
Starting point is 00:38:35 god dude so I was in Alabama over the weekend visiting my family which is great and I love them and stuff but you know how like Gav you know how like when you you say that when you come back from England you come back to America you start eating American food again you just shit like gav you know how like when you you say that when you come back from england you come back to america you start eating american food again you just shit like crazy and you yeah i have the same problem with alabama like alabama is is is your is my version of your america well i go back to alabama for like three days i come back to texas and i just destroy toilets i have been what time is it 2 pm.? I have taken three heinous shits today.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Now, what is different about your diet? Like, what is the thing that's changed? Oh, you don't know? It's, I mean, it's just like, I mean, I guess it's, yeah. Jeff, we talked about you going back to Alabama and the one thing that you liked, and it was banana whoopie pies that you could buy whenever you want you said they are every checkout counter at every place you go to you talked about them two or three times when we did podcasts yesterday and you don't know what changed in your diet okay then well
Starting point is 00:39:40 that's part of it for sure uh i will say I'm not a big fan of Alabama, the state. Love my family dearly. Don't want my mom to hear this and think I'm saying I don't like her or my family or, you know. I just don't like Alabama. I grew up there. I'm just not a fan. You don't have to like where you're from. It's not a requirement.
Starting point is 00:40:01 And I'm allowed not to like it, even though a bunch of people from Alabama are going to yell at me on social media. Joke's on you. I won't see it. I'm not on social media anymore. But I just don't. I just don't dig Alabama. I just am not a fan of it. And so I was talking about it with my therapist,
Starting point is 00:40:13 and he told me, he was like, I challenge you to find one thing you like about Alabama while you're there. Like one thing that you dig about Alabama. And the best I could come up with is I fucking love banana moon pies. And banana moon pies, moon pies in general,
Starting point is 00:40:29 are they like a big Mardi Gras thing, if you guys don't know what I'm talking about? It's like the official throw food, like the big thing that they throw. They throw beads and all kinds of candy and shit. But they throw these things called moon pies. And I fucking love banana moon pies. And they are at like every impulse buy
Starting point is 00:40:45 station in alabama like gas stations walmart wherever you go and so i ate a bunch of banana moon pies while i was there and so that probably helped i also had i've i've had a lot of cereal at my mom's house and she just has regular milk and i have been eating lactose free milk for a while now because uh lactose milk makes me fart. So that's probably part of it too. I feel like that would be an incentive for you to have the milk. That seems like a thing you'd be very excited about. What, farting? I don't mind the farting. I don't like
Starting point is 00:41:16 what it does to my tummy. It makes my tummy hurt. Okay, that makes sense. In my experience anytime you're evacuating a different country's food into the country you're in, it's never a good poo. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:41:28 It's never a tidy one. A moon pie by name feels like it would fuck you up, but not by looking at it. No, they're fucking great. That seems okay to me visually. Yeah, there you go. There's a banana moon pie right there.
Starting point is 00:41:39 I was just trying to grab one. They're so fucking good, dude. Have you guys ever had one? No. No. Oh, you should no you should absolutely if you ever get a chance eat a moon pie you're getting shit for a while though
Starting point is 00:41:53 apparently well only if it's from Alabama speaking of eating and shitting Gavin do you want to eat that should you eat that all the regulation listeners and comment leavers are eating their black licorice already. And I feel like we kind of lost sight of that
Starting point is 00:42:09 because of the whole cucumber thing. Cucumber. But Gavin, you have that licorice there. Do you want to pop a couple of those double salts in your mouth and see what happens? Yeah, I guess so. Does anyone else have one? I do.
Starting point is 00:42:20 I still have some. It'll probably be a fucking treat after my apple. Mildly worried I'm going to vomit again, but. I got to say, as somebody who typically is in pain on this show, this has been a nice break to just observe this. There's one place in town where I think they might have this. I had somebody recommend a spot, so I need to check. Double salt black licorice.
Starting point is 00:42:39 I'm going to pop. So it's a challenge. Is it just keeping it in your mouth or eating it within? Just trying to get it it within just trying to get it down just trying to get it oh fuck oh how does that compare to it can't be your death apple it's worse than the apple it's just too goddamn intense have you popped it in gavin no i just went to get it so i've got a a bag. I've got all of the Put your camera on. I'll put mine on.
Starting point is 00:43:08 Got drops. So the ones we want are the double salt. I don't have a webcam. Oh, that's okay. That's fine. So I'm going for the double salt one. Not cats, coins, or drops. Well, no, I think you start
Starting point is 00:43:23 at the double salt and then we can work our way back up. I agree. Definitely start with the double salt. Most bang for your buck. Yeah. I'll be honest. I'm not sure I've ever had licorice. I love licorice.
Starting point is 00:43:33 This is not licorice. You mean in all contexts, like red or black? Yes, all contexts. Black licorice is my favorite. Oh. Devin just said he's never had it. No, I've never been like a just sugary sweet guy. So you've avoided licorice entirely? favorite oh david just said he's never had it no i've never been like a just sugary sweet guy so you've avoided licorice entirely doesn't smell like much i wouldn't find licorice just mean sweet or sugar why just any any like gummy sugary crap i just never went for yeah i
Starting point is 00:43:56 don't i don't i feel like licorice is in a different category yeah i agree really like licorice all sorts it's like its own thing all right so i'm just putting this in my tongue in my mouth on my just see if you can eat one of those double salt licorices black licorice all sorts? It's like its own thing. All right, so I'm just putting this in my mouth. Just see if you can eat one of those double salt licorices. Black licorices. Okay, here we go. I'll do it at the same time. One, two, on the count of three. I'm really nervous.
Starting point is 00:44:13 And we'll see who spits it out. You just have to say when you spit it out. You got this. And if you can eat it all the way, then you fucking win and you're a champion, all right? So on the count of three. Maybe I like this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:22 One, two, three. It's definitely going to be... Oh, God. You turned into the grape lady. It doesn't want to be on there. It doesn't want to be on my chocolate. There's nowhere for it to go. It don't want to be on my tongue.
Starting point is 00:44:44 There's nowhere for it to go. I wish you had a webcam. It's like your tongue tries to eject it from your mouth as soon as it touches you. You made a lot of noise. You're not messing about. That's completely impossible. That's not food. No, it's not. You made a lot of it. You're not messing about. That's completely impossible. That's not food. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Can I eat that? Have you had one, Eric? It tastes like the ocean. It's like a handful of salt. Imagine my surprise when I thought I was buying regular ass yummy licorice and I put that in my fucking mouth. Try the least, try the like the mildest licorice in now, whatever it is, the cats or whatever, whichever one says it's like a hint of licorice.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Try that and see how you feel. I can't believe that that was his introduction to licorice. Just in general, that was his first licorice drops says deliciously sweet and soft. Try that. Oh God. I can't get that taste away. It would be like if your first time eating chocolate was the 100% dirt chocolate.
Starting point is 00:45:43 He's working down to 90. The craziest scale that you're working backwards from. Alright, this is going in now. The drops. Okay, in comparison to the other one, it didn't taste like anything. It's just like a little bit of anise, I guess, is the flavor.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Do you like the taste of the licorice, Gavin? Oh, that reminds me of something. Tastes like medicine I've had. Tastes like NyQuil, a little bit. Have you guys watched the video? I'll link it here. It has the timestamp on it. Did you see Vinny, a comment weaver,
Starting point is 00:46:16 AH underscore Vinny on the subreddit? He took the double salt black licorice challenge, and I think he makes it 30 seconds. It's the same kind of thing. It's great. It's on YouTube. Should we watch this? Yeah, I'm watching it right now.
Starting point is 00:46:32 It's worth your time. His fucking setup in the background is amazing. Look at all of the peanut butter and soup and pencils. There's a bunch of pencils. He's like... He grabs a handful. He's tough He grabs a handful He's tough His face
Starting point is 00:46:48 He looks like he doesn't know where he is anymore Yeah it goes out He makes a 20 He immediately like loses all familiarity With the surroundings He doesn't know where to go He's trying to like run away but he can't Yeah
Starting point is 00:47:04 He's deciding Let run away, but he can't. Yeah. He's deciding. He's thinking about it. That's gone. He can't. Holding in. He muted the vomiting part. He tries.
Starting point is 00:47:17 He's going to throw up and then stops and then can't. It's vile. Wow. That's a great challenge. Yeah. You can can watch it on youtube we'll link it in the description but uh it's on vintage uh his youtube channel is vintage tv he's done a couple of these uh he did a cosmic crisps crisp apple pie he tried to uh see how many darts it would take for him to get a bullseye blindfolded. He made the four dipping sauces as well. He tries the 100%
Starting point is 00:47:49 dark chocolate. He really goes for it. I gotta watch this guy's back. He has some good stuff, dude. He's a fucking legend. If you are a regulation listener or a comment leaver, go subscribe to his YouTube channel and watch his stuff. He's really funny. Good stuff.
Starting point is 00:48:06 Way to go. And he, by the way, did a way better job eating that licorice than Gavin or I did. I love licorice and I couldn't make it as long as Gavin did. It was like, it felt like when you put butter on a hot frying pan, it just slides around like my tongue didn't want it at any point.
Starting point is 00:48:22 It just kept moving it around. It just made it so much worse. I've never heard anyone say, I can't like just your panic in the moment of like, it can't, it's stuck on the tongue. It will not, there's no place to hide it. Now that you've had 100% dark chocolate licorice, what do you think of bog standard regular licorice? Black licorice.
Starting point is 00:48:40 It was really nice, actually. Nice flavor. That might actually be the best way into licorice because it's so refreshing and it's such a welcomed flavor after the heinous dog shit that came before it. I just had a rough day on my mouth, man. You're probably not tasting apple anymore.
Starting point is 00:48:59 No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm just tasting fucking salty. Yeah. I need to track this down. I don't understand how it could be that bad. Like, is it just extreme salt taste or like what is the over? I don't know how to describe it.
Starting point is 00:49:12 It's salt, but it's more than that. I'm gonna put it in again. It's like it almost it's almost. Oh, God. It's almost so much salt. It burns, but not like a hot burn just like the the reaction of burning
Starting point is 00:49:29 without the heat if that makes sense I feel like it's it's a good indicator of what it's like to be a slug when someone pulls salt on you yeah
Starting point is 00:49:36 yeah have you ever got slammed by an ocean wave Andrew like in the mouth and it goes up your nose oh yeah oh no
Starting point is 00:49:44 that is what this tastes like. Oh, no. It tastes like getting slammed by an ocean wave. That's one of the worst feelings. Yeah. And it's always so gross. And you want to get it out of your mouth so fast. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:54 It sticks around. It's bad. OK. That is a great descriptor of what that's like. That's horrendous. It's pretty bad. Oh, my God. Well, I'm going to do my best.
Starting point is 00:50:04 Track that down. I would say I've spent a lot of time in the ocean in my life and it's never been as bad as eating that licorice. Oh God. I was trying to pull a prank on Dan recently where I like the sort of dynamic between Dan and myself in videos. Like he doesn't know anything about our camera equipment
Starting point is 00:50:23 or how to use any of the cameras that we've been filming with for like 12 years or anything for that matter now he knows some stuff but i'm really good at helping people get lasso achievements is all he's great at that especially when they are incapable of playing halo i want to do a video where i was like running him through some of the new equipment like presenting like here's a rundown of all the equipment we use but I wanted to sneak in a load of stuff that wasn't camera equipment like sex toys I wanted to use a butt plug and like say that it was some sort of like wireless receiver and like bolt it to the side of the camera and see if you see if I could fall in with that I ended up just not making this video because it's a little bit a little bit blue but
Starting point is 00:51:02 um while I was like looking to buy butt plugs i was like i wonder if amazon sells butt plugs and oh yeah they got all this stuff the very first butt plug i used like one of the uh like down in by the reviews is like frequently asked questions the first question was is it safe to leave in while i run errands was is it safe to leave in while i run errands did you ask that no it was on the list already like someone i appreciate what you're doing here you're dunking on on this person but but you're the one who asked what is the blowjob device for is that for you or like that was you you asked if you would practice you have no ground to take shots at anyone on this subject. When it comes to sex toys, I don't know what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Don't forget, though, Andrew is on your side here. Oh, yeah, 100%. Yeah. With you. Is it safe? Is that a common... Apparently, it's perfectly safe to leave in while... Why wouldn't it be?
Starting point is 00:52:02 While you snoop around Target. Now I'm just like concerned like how many people have stuff in like it's right oh no it's like that statistic of like how many people like one and however many have killed someone so if you're at like a stadium like statistically someone there's a murderer you're like in a target me like someone in here he's got a butt plug in yeah like have i ever shaken the hand of someone with a butt plug in oh i feel like statistically most likely yeah has to have happened right has to have happened should we do a thing like with nick and the monkey mask where gavin has to put a butt plug in in one episode and i have to guess which one it is
Starting point is 00:52:37 i think you'd be able to tell pretty quickly. Gavin, do you have the butt plug in right now? I do not. All right, we'll try it next time. We'll try it in 137. How long did it take Dan to realize? I just didn't do it in the end. Okay, you just didn't do it at all. No. That's disappointing.
Starting point is 00:52:55 I didn't have enough in between the butt plug. I wanted an escalation to see how ridiculous it could get. Sometimes thinking of a prank is as good as doing it. Yeah feel i feel like i got a few chuckles just from the concept i didn't need to necessarily i i think most of my pranks instead of uh put the effort into them anymore like you hit an age where you're like it's it's the mind's eye is funny enough yeah i really wanted to when we're in the height of cucumber paranoia gavin when you were away in japan i thought it'd be so funny if through like your ring doorbell cam you just saw the port-a-potty getting dropped off with a cucumber like tape to it like not even at all subtle but just the idea of you being in a different country knowing that that's just on your doorstep waiting for you
Starting point is 00:53:40 probably do it the day I left as well. Wow, between that vom and the licorice, I'm struggling to talk. Is this our last recording of this year, or do we have another one after this? No, no, this is the last one of this year. This will come out on the 11th, but this is the last one of this year. So this will come out
Starting point is 00:54:01 the 11th of January? That is correct, yeah. We could try to put it out the 11th of December, but it is the 20th. So I don't think that's fair enough. What about the 29th? Oh, I'm around. Why would we do that on Thursday?
Starting point is 00:54:14 What are you talking about? Why wouldn't we record again on the 29th of December? Oh, I thought he was saying, why don't we put this out on the 29th? That's what my confusion was too. Oh no. Isn't that just a normal Thursday?
Starting point is 00:54:23 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we can record if you want to. I did. I got no problem with it. that's what my confusion was too oh no but isn't that just a normal thursday yeah yeah i mean yeah we can record if you want to i do i got no problem with it i want to record okay let's do it i mean it's not day off is it no i mean yes but okay is it it's a holiday the week is when our studio is dark so yeah technically but we can still record oh well listen i don't want to i don't want to if you guys are doing shit i got no problem this show is easy this is the record of this is the easiest part of this show everything else is difficult but the actual record of the show is the easiest part i just i feel the same way it's like if we're all gonna be just sitting around dicking
Starting point is 00:54:59 around with our thumbs up our asses or our dildos up our butt you know fucking trying to figure out how to work our blowjob machines we might as well get together and spend an hour telling jokes if it's at all convenient for me or on me or i do it and i i still can't crack it i will say that i've struggled for a long time in figuring it out but ever since i left the manual in my bathroom it has been so much easier to process i had to install brighter bulbs so that I could read with my sunglasses on, but it works. Uh,
Starting point is 00:55:29 let me, let me ask you guys one last question. Cause I think we're, we're about to wrap up. It sounds like we may or may not record one more episode this year, but if we don't, and this is the last episode of the year, uh,
Starting point is 00:55:40 even if it isn't like, well, how would you guys like, what do you think 2022 was for face? How would you like the, the year of face, what do you think 2022 was for face? How would you like the, the year of face? What do you think defined face in 2022? Oh,
Starting point is 00:55:49 that's a, Hmm. Oh, that's a tough question to me. This was the year of growth. Yeah. Like we got, we got so much bigger,
Starting point is 00:55:56 not just numbers wise, but the idea and like the scope, we bought Jackie Chan's tuxedo from the movie Tuxedo. And Andrew relentlessly messaged the director of the film. I don't know another show that's doing that kind of thing. Along those same lines, I would describe it as the year of supplemental content. Like where we really came into our own. And I want 2023 to knock it out of the park.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Like I want to double or triple the amount of supplemental content we did. But we did Eric's job. We did the tuxedo. We did Jeff at the plate. Like 30 videos of that. Gavin's overkill. A ton of break shows. We did the bean hole.
Starting point is 00:56:39 We did the tuxedo auction. We did two episodes of Does It Do? And only two episodes of does it do we did sausage i know we did the alphabet supplemental we did four fucking or probably about this point five regulation animations we were we did the pizza video we did plowman and pizza day we did uh what else did we do? We did. Oh, we did. We did the fall snake ladder. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:57:09 Yeah. We did best of 2022. Yeah. That'll come out next year. The best falls will come out next year. We'll come in 2023. But we will have our retrospective. Our favorite things of 2022 will be out before the end of the year. So that's good.
Starting point is 00:57:24 It was a great year for F*** Face. I'm so excited for next year. We got outside this year. We got outside. Yes. Next year, we just need to get outside and sort of converge. Yeah. Will we see Andrew in 2023? I think we'll see him at the Olympics in February if we do it then.
Starting point is 00:57:41 I think that's a great way to put it. 2022 was the year of growth and creating extra supplemental content 2023 could be the year we do it together maybe oh nice i like that i want yeah my goal for 2023 is to clear up any outstanding show related debts i have are you sure you want to say that previous previous year no i said that's my goal i didn't say i'd do it. That's my goal, though. This is like New Year's resolutions where you claim things and then they don't actually come through. It's my goal, but I'm not going to do it.
Starting point is 00:58:11 Yeah, that's what a New Year's resolution is, which is what we're doing right now. So I'm declaring I outside of, you know, the pencil. Who knows? There's a case. It's very up for debate. A lot of questions. Who's right? Who's wrong?
Starting point is 00:58:24 Who knows? But everything else I think I can clear by the end of that year. Okay. At least attempting to do so. Everything. Everything. The marathon. Yeah, the marathon mainly.
Starting point is 00:58:34 I think that's the main thing I have. I think I have to do two. I thought it was three. Two sets of it. No, I have to do it three, but I think I have two different outstanding debts relating to a marathon. Yeah. So this, I think we'll check again if we record one more at the end of the year but uh
Starting point is 00:58:56 ankle status at the moment great really good i'm gonna be honest 2022 terrible terrible ankle year for the start uh yeah i'd say close to 100 i've made changes uh made some realizations regarding my ankles we're doing pretty good i don't think that here's the difference from when we started the show to now my burger confidence has has reduced dramatically i'm now much more of a realist and a lot of things i don't think there's any way i'm going to be able to pull off these marathons but i'm at least going to try i'll make the attempt because i committed to it okay i i missed your burger confidence i feel like we got so much good content out of that it goes in and out you know like i'll have the attempt because I committed to it. Okay. I miss your burger confidence. I feel like we got so much good content out of that. It goes in and out. You know, like I'll have the gamer score thing,
Starting point is 00:59:28 which I think I would have been 150,000 short based off of what I currently have. But I still believe. It's just in a different way. Like the Halo bet, we do another Halo bet. I'm 100% confident on that. Almost any gaming bet, any screenshot thing with you, Gavin, I feel confident about.
Starting point is 00:59:45 Maybe 2023 could see a lot more bets. Maybe. Jeff, have you cooked the tomahawk steak before? Yeah, of course. Okay, great. I'm just curious. What about Wagyu? You have experience with Wagyu? I've never cooked a Wagyu steak, but I've eaten it. Okay. Tomahawk, I'll lean there. I'm just thinking
Starting point is 01:00:02 about my steak cuts with this cucumber bet, because we're almost done there as well. I still still have 11 days to get some monopoly money on your door yeah you do i'm not worried about it it's a blizzard and i also have a way to know where you are now so i'm not worried what's your way to know where he is i'm not going to tell you because then you might do something to change it. But Andrew has air tagged Gavin. I have a way. I will. How about this?
Starting point is 01:00:27 I will very quickly. I'll text you, Jeff. OK, how I can track where Gavin is and you can confirm if it's like an actual valid, like real thing. All right. Text me. I'm texting you right now. I don't see a way that would be effective.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Oh, it's incredibly effective. And there's nothing you can do about it currently without you becoming aware. Oh, it's incredibly effective and there's nothing you can do about it currently without you becoming aware. Oh, shit. Yeah, he knows where you are at all times. It's no joke. Now, here's the difficulty I have. I am available
Starting point is 01:00:59 to hire as independent contractor for pranks. I just completed my contract with Andrew last week in the Cucumbers. I am available if Gavin wants to hire me, but I now know this information. I would, I gotta out of the gate say, Gavin, if you hire me, I can't tell you this.
Starting point is 01:01:16 I can't hire you as a PI to investigate and prevent and hide me? I don't think so. I don't think it's fair that I... Can I hire you for cloaking abilities? I think you might have to hire Eric or somebody who doesn't know what Andrew has on you.
Starting point is 01:01:32 How has he infiltrated my inner circle? He did it. We'll talk about it. Hey, I guess if we record again, I'll tell you. He's pretty impressive. Next year. I'll trade you the information
Starting point is 01:01:44 for the number. I'll trade you. He's pretty impressive. Next year. I'll trade you the information for the number. I'll trade that in January. January 1st, I'll make that trade with you. There's no way that you could possibly know that I'm flying somewhere. Yeah, I have a way. He's got a way. There just isn't one. Yeah, there is.
Starting point is 01:02:02 It's impressive, too. I never would have thought it. It's so fucking dumb and simple and easy and I went like oh, yeah, of course that would work. Did he freaking move next door? And also, by the way, I don't think this is spoiling anything. He has the same
Starting point is 01:02:16 thing over me. So he would be able to tell if I went to Canada with you too. There's no way. We'll talk about it later. I have a question for you and you're not going to do this anyway. As a side, I just had this thought last night. Is your front door whatever door is at the front of your place? I thought last night, what if I took my bathroom door and put it where my front door is and
Starting point is 01:02:37 move my front door to my bathroom with my bathroom door then just become my front door? Yes. Or is OK. I think you should still do it. I think that'd be hilarious will it be easier for me to screw the money to your bathroom door oh yeah absolutely it would solid wood they fucked up i don't know what they're doing but my bathroom door way more secure you have a solid wood bathroom door yeah dang where am i where are you you're in austin
Starting point is 01:03:02 i don't understand what what the ones that try to prove hell yeah I got them like is it because like my does my discord or slack say where I am no I just I have a way inside your circle Andrew Panton DG Jeff I don't see anything I could leave the state now and you wouldn't know where I went you can think that I'm okay with you thinking that I just don't. Anyway, January will also be the year reveals. I think for the show, you can talk about,
Starting point is 01:03:30 I'm assuming that they haven't talked to you already. It's a long month about, uh, Boston thing. Hopefully, hopefully 2023 will also be the year we get the bussy bus or at least get a lead on it. I don't want to drop.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Oh, thank you for reminding me. I really want to, I want to do some investigation and figure out if we can get a hold of that bus because i really do want to make this museum and hopefully 2023 is the year that we get a piece of uh movie memorabilia from mvp or mvp2 ideally mvp2 that was great good episodes yeah good episodes pretty uh yeah i always like the doubles i like them because you never know what you're gonna get in the second episode but it's always good we went a long way it was quite the range from my gigantic head to gavin's uh paranoia dude you know what i'm excited about the episode what 134 i guess just came or 133 just came out. So the next episode is the cucumber reveal.
Starting point is 01:04:25 I'm very excited about that, too. I'm so, so, so excited for the audience to see that. I hope they enjoy it. Yeah, I do, too. I think it's going to be a... I'm hoping it's not a letdown, because I think it'll be an awesome moment. I think it'll be like a top-tier moment in the podcast. I agree completely. And the only thing that'll be better is if Gavin tapes
Starting point is 01:04:41 Monopoly money to your front door without you realizing it. Well, I'm going to screw it. But yeah, I'll screw it. You can't screw it. There's a car I went out on the very I've lived here for a few years at this point, and there's a secondary balcony that I have that I've never been on. I've just had no use for going on to it. And I walked onto it the other night as a car was pulling up, just a random vehicle.
Starting point is 01:05:10 And I thought, how fucking funny would it be if this was Gavin? That in like the three years I've lived here, I've never been in this position before. And I just coincidentally, it'd be perfect. But I'm not I'm not scared. I'm not I'm not terrified. I'm not nervous. I'm not paranoid. I'm just waiting for you and I can track you so it's fine you can't track me what are you talking about thanks for listening the end i'm gonna leave without any of my stuff i'm not gonna
Starting point is 01:05:38 take my phone i'm gonna leave through the back door. You can't. You won't. I think he probably will. Love you guys. Bye, audience. Bye. Great review. Stars and likes. Tell your friends.
Starting point is 01:05:56 Eat cucumbers. Stay away from double salt licorice. Have a happy 2023. I guess it's already 2023 for you. Yeah, it's the middle of the month. I hope it's off to a great start. This is Jeff signing off from the past. Where am I now?
Starting point is 01:06:14 Still in Austin. In a state of denial. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Let's look at Andrew's arts and crafts. It's time for another bet. Who was the sneaky person? The gang turns on each other.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Did we win an award after all? Let's rock a full face mask. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Ficks.

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