F**kface - Andrew Vs The Denver Nuggets // Forecast Calls for Heavy Pastrami & Koozies [76]

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin's worst take ever (maybe?), the outcome of Andrew vs the Denver Nuggets, Geoff throwing a baseball but Gavin throwing a drink, and Andrew eats the chocolate. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face), BetterHelp (http://betterhelp.com/face), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This is a Rooster Teeth production. Has there been a big appearance by heroin since Breaking Bad and that arc? Was heroin a big part of Breaking Bad? No. I think it was meth. I'm not saying the drug he made. We're talking about heroin and Jesse's girlfriend. And Jesse got, they were super into heroin for like a season.

And then she dies. Of the overdose. Oh, yeah. Fucking. Krista Ritter or whatever. Yeah, the Marvel character. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. Kristen Ritter. That's like maybe the best scene in that show. Walt, I think that scene is like. Really? That's where everything's different. Like that's that's a very like easy marked emotionally like that whole show. That is a huge moral turning point right there.

Yeah, where where you're like you're rooting and you can root. But then that happens and you go, oh, not the character that I thought this was. And then that that's really where the show. I don't think you're wrong. I just wouldn't have instinctually thought that I wouldn't have even put that my top 10 of memorable Breaking Bad moments oh I just think I just think that's where the

show we took him breaking bad well I guess he did yeah it's just pivotal right yeah yeah what are you talking about heroin I said maybe like the one of the like the best moment of that shit like the show where it marks a real turning point is when he watches when walt watches uh jesse's girlfriend die from heroin like she has like an overdose she's fucking like choking and he just like lets her die because that's for purely

for personal gain and yeah it to me really marks a shift in that show and yeah it's shifting the audience as well as him mowing that guy down and then shooting him in the head was also like a okay he's he's all the way yeah he's all in i think like the first moment for that with me is when he chokes the guy out in the basement with the thing and he's like trying to stab him with the play like it's just so messy and like it's such a you cannot come back from this moment there's no reversing at this point. You are gone down a path. I was talking about Gavin to Nick, how I feel you gave one of the worst takes I've ever heard,

and I'd forgotten all about it, which led to a heroin take. It's an insane take by you. Are we in on the episode? Yeah, I think we should talk about it. Do we do an intro? Do we just start? I don't know.

That sounds great. What's the protocol for this? Yeah, we typically, we always, it's not an episode if we don't start it, right? We always, we pride ourselves on an episode. So go ahead and take it away, Andrew.

It's a requirement. We must only have like 26 episodes. That's a great question. Like how many intros have we done? Hello and welcome to another episode of face my name is jeff ramsey and with me as always andrew pantin from canada and uh gavin free from england uh and then also somewhere back there uh nick and eric are uh giving each other hand jobs while we talk this is episode 76 go. Go. Where is Nick from?

I know where Eric is from. At least I feel like I do. Okay. Hey, there we go. Why did we do the locations, Jeff? What's the inspiration for that today? I think it's interesting. I think it's the most interesting thing about either of you.

Really? The place? Yeah. I can get down. I can set a tone immediately. Now people know something about you that it instantly points. I mean, it's pretty clear that I'm from America based on my brash manner of speaking and accent. But then now they immediately put a frame in their head.

They see a triangle of England and a corner of the United States, a great English speaking triangle. I feel like the England part is obvious. The Canadian aspect to the show is less obvious. I'll be honest with you, Gavin. I don't know that you're... This podcast takes place in America, mostly.

And I would say that... Well, I am excited to report we have a global audience. I would say a large portion of our audience is America. And to your average American, Australians, Brits, and South Africans all are kind of interchangeable. I don't think that's true. In terms of accents, yeah.

There's a lot of Americans that could not tell you if their life depended on the difference between a South African or a British accent. Yeah, I would agree. Eric's backing me up in the comments. I agree, too. They're very similar. Once you know the difference, Eric's backing me up in the comments. I agree, too. They're very similar.

They're not like... Once you know the difference... I feel like Charlton Copley was a really big deal for the South African accent. I feel like that really highlighted it. Outside of that, I can't think of anybody who is popular actor-wise that was South African. Charlize Theron is South African, right? I know, but I don't feel like she has an accent

in the same way. Not as noticeable to me, but maybe I'm just proving South Africa. I know, but not, I don't, I don't feel like she has an accent in the same way. Not as noticeable to me, but maybe I'm just proving the point. I can't hear it. I don't see it. Yeah. It's like trying to tell them to speak to Australia and New Zealand. It's very similar for us.

It's, it's, it's hard to do. They are pretty similar. Yeah. Eric says, yeah, Gavin,

you sound like Taika Waititi to me. We have so much to talk about. I don't think Gavin saw any of that coming. We do have a lot to talk about. Just a quick rundown. Andrew, you conducted an experiment. You went up against the Denver Nuggets. You went up against an entire NBA team.

One of the better, definitely a top 12 team in the NBA. Reigning MVP plays for that team. And you took them on without four friends, but by yourself. Then the other one, Gavin and I, we threw baseballs. So we got all that to talk about. I would also like to mention that we should talk about Gavin had his first Route 44 and that was a very

exciting and hilarious experience that we should also get into as well. And maybe he can even share the video with you guys, although I doubt he'll put it online. What is a Route 44? That's what I thought. We should get to it in the natural course of things so i think

we should start with the nuggets are we doing chocolate today oh we're oh we got chocolate today holy shit we have too much mentioned that andrew moved the recording it's it was a rare one for andrew he was feeling a bit poorly but totally blue balls to me for what's it been four days five days i apologize i think it's fine don't worry about it i was just i'm really really excited about the chocolate i gotta say the the temperature on social chocolate confidence is through the roof amongst the audience the comment levers are all independently working they're up working up their chocolate tolerance to build their confidence i'm amazed at how well this is like the people have latched on i'm honestly blown away like the just just from what i've

seen on the instagram stories the uh face instagram stories everyone has been buying this chocolate i can't imagine like that being like an ad read i spent like 10 minutes shitting on how bad that chocolate was and it's caused so many sales i'm blown away by it i'm so excited i i almost bought some just because i saw it at the store and i went oh there's the chocolate i should get and then i went wait i'm not doing this let's fuck them but you didn't buy it no it's not my it's not my content no that's fair that's fair we'll see how i feel after i mean we have there's another thing that that I think you guys probably possibly even forgot were prototypes.

You wanted prototypes, Jeff? I've got mine ready. Oh, yeah. You got yours ready? We got prototypes? I filmed a video. Oh, this is very exciting. Did you do one, Andrew?

Oh, you bet I did. I'm wearing mine right now. We have so much going on at the same time. I got my prototype going right now. What do we want to start with? Here's the thing. We have too much episode. We can't get all this into one episode.

We might as well just acknowledge that and admit we're going to have to cut some of this stuff and move it to Thursday's recording. For sure. What do we want to talk about the most? Because we should do that now. I think the nuggets are probably the most time sensitive. I think the nuggets is a thing to mention. I feel like we

kind of talked about already. Do we just go into Gavin's worst take of all time go for it so i turn my phone on saturday like 6 p.m my time having a great day so weird what's weird everything you just said was weird i turned my phone on is weird 6 p.m is weird Okay, listen. It's 100% weird. My phone does not own me, Jeff. Okay? My phone died the previous evening. Okay, Tyler Durden, I got it. I'm not a big phone guy. Not a big phone guy.

Don't use it all that much. Don't need it, really. Didn't expect anything on it. It was back of my mind all day. I was having the greatest fucking day. it was sunny out it started because we were doing we were doing baseball stuff we were talking about the baseball plan and andrew just chimes in 6 p.m on saturday turning my phone onto these texts it's like waking up to christmas morning immediately i did i was not interested in the baseball stuff anymore

i just wrote who turns on their phone at 6pm? Okay, so here's the problem. When my phone turns on and I get text messages, it tells me when it turned on, not when they were sent. So I have no point of reference for when your conversation happened. I didn't know there was any baseball talk to be had. End of day, charging my phone.

I'm like, I'll turn it on. I'll just check, see what's going on. If I got any messages, I get all those. Genuinely was so excited. I didn't know the baseball throw it on. I'll just check, see what's going on. If I got any messages, I get all those. Genuinely was so excited. I didn't know the baseball throw was happening. Didn't expect it. It was, as I said, it was like waking up, not knowing it was Christmas morning.

And there are all these gifts as messages of this throw is happening. I'm now excited for the next day. I was trying to just share my enthusiasm with the two of you of how excited i was we jumped down your throat immediately i gavin replies i don't know why i'm saying this you should say you're the one who sent it this is done by me to interject well do you want me to read out just this brief part yeah go ahead i said who turns on their phone at 6 p.m you just you said i just did i said that

is the most disturbing thing ever like you just came off a heroin bender. You said, what? I said, you heard. You said, you are ridiculous. This might be the worst take you have ever had. I don't understand why that's weird. I don't use my phone a lot. I have no point of using the phone.

Well, firstly, who turns off a phone, to be honest? It died. It died. I didn't turn itphones. It died. It died. I didn't turn it off. It died. That's battery life. You're in your, what, late 20s?

How do you have no responsibilities anywhere that you could just sit with your phone off all day? What if there's an emergency? I'd find out the following day. Listen, I have email. There are ways you can reach me

if you need to reach me. I just am not a big phone guy. I get very few calls. Almost no texts. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Does Raymond Sommar turn his phone off as well, or does that one stay on?

That one's always on. That's an always on phone. It looks as though Eric doesn't agree with you. Eric? It's a terrible take. I just don't understand how that's the worst take that Gavin can have. Okay. He was very upset.

But I agree with him. It's like, oh, it's like you just got off a heroin. There's so many people that I know that are just like, yeah, I just had an insane weekend and just on stuff and not wanting to be around their phones. So it reads that way to me, too. So I don't know. I think I just had a crate like an insane weekend and just on stuff and not wanting to be around their phones. So it reads that way to me, too. So I don't know. I think I just live in a different fucking world. I like I'm not I'm not going to part like you think I'm on a bender.

I don't really drink. I'm not a party guy at all. Like, I would just never think that. So it was insane to me. You also did text in the same chain because i was on it as well and i have pulled it up you said this seems like a good time to reveal i'm a big heroin guy yeah well i mean that's just a joke because i was i thought this was oh so you're not actually well i mean no i'm not to point out too mine was also a joke i actually uh didn't think you were

on heroin all night but it was a weird thing to even apply. No, it isn't. Yeah. I'm imagining someone waking up at six. That's all I was comparing it to. I would never. Well, there's no indication I woke up at six. Like, that's a huge leap for me to even.

Like, when you say that, I got up at like 7 a.m. that day. I had a full day. I just hadn't had my phone on. You were up for 11 hours. Yeah. On a Saturday without a phone. Yeah. I mean, I had a full day. I just hadn't had my phone on. You were up for 11 hours on a Saturday without a phone. I think it's awesome. People used to do it. I used to do it

before cell phones. I just don't remember what it was like. How was it? It was Saturday. I don't understand. What did you do that day? How did you occupy your 11 hours? What did I do on Saturday? If you had your phone with you, how'd you occupy your 11 hours? What did I do on Saturday? Fuck, what did I do?

If you'd had your phone with you, you could have taken a photo, and then you'd be like... Oh, I... Hmm. I think I cleaned my closet out on Saturday. That may have been a Sunday thing. Yeah, I spent a whole day there on Saturday.

I don't remember. This isn't really helping my argument against, like... It was a pretty uneventful day. I think I played games. I think I was playing Far Cry most of Saturday. It's a good game, that Far Cry. It's fine. It's another one of those.

They made a really big deal about Gus being in it, and he's like barely in it. It's fine. It's a decent game. Yeah. But uneventful. I just thought it was a crazy take. Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe I just am so disconnected from party world that it would never cross my mind. I was honestly worried because you reacted so strongly to it. I was like, oh, maybe I've touched on something here. Maybe you used to be a heroin addict and I've just brought up something that you don't want to talk about. Or like he had a twin brother who died of a heroin overdose. Something like that, yeah.

I'm right there with you. See, I had a different anxiety approach where I was like, I'm very against this take, but not really. Like, it's a crazy take in my head, but I'm not upset by this in any way, but it's just fun to argue.

In this context, I was like, I hope you don't think I'm actually mad. That was my approach. Hey, you know what? I think we covered that topic pretty well. Do you want to move on to another one? Yeah.

We got no time. We got no time. That's true. We're moving right along. So are we talking about the nuggets yeah let's talk about the nuggets didn't go well didn't win the nugget thing i didn't so we had a plan we talked about recording it in some aspect and uh all i ended up doing was recording an intro for it, which I haven't gotten rid of. But I was like, yeah, this is going to be easy. I feel great about that.

I felt so fucking sick by the end of the first quarter. I was going through quarterly updates. It's like I just I have no words. There's no words for me to say. It was brutal. The time of possession was an issue. A thing that I did not consider, which was like really like where you got to get your nuggets in free throws because Dallas maintains the ball and it's like a long kind of slow stretch. That's a good time.

It's really the pace that gets you is the problem is what I learned. Well, having to stuff them in while your team. Well, the possession. Yeah, like that was the really the really tough part. And because you feel like so pressured to like, I gotta get more nuggets in at this time. There's no break. Like, it's mentally exhausting as well as the physical being full.

I ate like a box of 20, I wanna say, in three minutes. So should we point out at this point that that adherence to that rule is all you? None of us wanted you to only eat during the Dallas possession. We all thought you should eat the whole time. Well, I think it only makes sense. I mean, I guess it makes sense to you, but you're making it harder on yourself for no...

It's already a monumental task. He adds all these handicaps for no reason. You didn't need to add this additional handicap. I just... It's the confidence. I believed. I didn't think it would be that bad. He's doing nuggets with all the skulls on. You're doing... You're doing lasso nuggets, man. That's fucking merch.

Nuggets with skulls on. We have to set that to the same font and design as the NASA logo. It just says nasa please let's make a nasa fit speaking of which where's the damn i i don't want to get off on a tangent but real quick while we're in that part of it, where's the goddamn Go Go Now welcome mat for houses and the Go Go Now shark shirt? And weren't we going to make a bunch of jet ski merch too? We got jet ski merch. Is any of that stuff coming out?

I don't know what happened to, I don't know if I should talk about it. There was a certain drinking apparatus that I feel like has been in the works for quite a while. Yeah, we got a drink in the app. I don't know if I should talk about it. There was a certain drinking apparatus that I feel like's been in the works for quite a while. Yeah, we got a drinking apparatus. I believe we had a conversation about making ping pong balls that say 19 on them, too. Whatever that is. So stupid shit. We talked.

There is a mode of transportation that is. I don't know when that will that will release. That's the thing. OK, so anyway, you ate. That's the thing. Okay. So anyway, you ate 20 nuggets in the first three minutes. I like, yeah. What is your mindset after that? Like that first 20 nuggets?

How do you feel? Honestly, not too bad. So I just want to caveat something I didn't even consider. A great part of this. Currently, McDonald's Canada is doing their Monopoly promotion. I got so many fucking game pieces. Every 20 bucks had four. The drink had like two. I got a few different things.

I even got a fries. I was so confident. I'm like, I'll get a little snack on the side. I want some fries. Damn the 20 nuggets. I felt pretty good at that point. Well, I know that because the burgers, you said you knew immediately that you're in trouble. Like, did you do 20 nuggets before you realized you're in trouble i was so confident so i first i got like

110 nuggets in the first run and then i hand counted each box uh and one of the boxes they gave me 21 i just ate the nugget on the spot i was like i just want a little snack because i was hungry that was the worst part so there are so many strategic mistakes i made one i ordered the nuggets like 45 minutes before tip off and the game started late so by the time the second quarter rolled around i got cold kind of rubbery nuggets and just texturally it was less a space thing and more of a rhythm of eating with the possession and also just the texture being the same shitty texture on every nugget eric brought up in the chat a fantastic question of did i use sauce not only did i use sauce okay i went into my own supply i pulled out some of those bts sauces i went through like five or six sweet chili bts sauces it's fantastic

eric what is the game a bar and go oh you were telling people about the nug that was going on sauce is fantastic. Eric, what is the game of bar? Oh, you were telling people about the dog that was going on the challenge. Now I went. I was in San Diego for the weekend and we were going to a concert before the concert. We went to a bar.

The bar had the game on and I told everyone about this. It was we got to like the third quarter before we had to go in the third quarter felt like that's when they went on a tear. And it was like, it was just a bar full of people going like, Oh,

your poor friend. So what was the final, what was the final score then? I ended up eating 67 nuggets. And then, and that was not enough to beat the Denver nuggets. That was not one. Oh, 106. Yeah yeah the nuggets scored 106 i almost outnuggeted the mavericks who had 75 so they're a legendarily

bad game too they did what broke me and i feel like this is just a fascinating because like as a fan you watch and it's heartbreaking sometimes but you don't physically feel the toll of when a team goes on a run in the NBA I had like a 14 nugget lead 15 nugget league going into the end of the the half like at the end of the second quarter there's like I don't know maybe seven minutes left in it the nuggets went on like a 14 point run where they scored just constantly without pause and it blew my lead. I only ended up having a one nugget advantage at the half. I think I had I eaten like 55 and they'd scored 54 points with something like that. That was demoralizing. That was really like the

nail in the coffin of I had been eating so quickly with like no pause, just trying to get a lead. I just mentally needed a little bit of a gap because i knew i'd slow down and the fact that they brought it to within one going into the half and i can't eat nuggets at that point i just have to sit there and be like well i hope dallas gets the ball or else i'm immediately behind him did you uh at that point like during the halftime did you do any kind of like stretching exercises or try to burn any calories or like i don't know move around to kind of adjust the food i'm gonna tell you what i did okay okay this is this is the this is just like a sign of how how dead i was because i think i ate like 55 nuggets going into the half and i

ended up with 67 nuggets i was just broken by that point didn't eat a lot of nuggets third quarter so the first half you ate 55 the second half you ate 12 yeah essentially yeah something like that i uh hit the half i i walked went on a little walk stood outside for a little bit during the break then i grabbed my boxes and nuggets walked into the bathroom just sat i spent the end of the game in my bathtub eating the nuggets just demoralized sitting in the dark my two nugget boxes eating when i can are you wearing clothes are you in the bathtub oh no i'm fully in the tub i'm stretched out trying to get as comfy as i can you have your xbox live headset on no didn't have a headset i was just sitting there i was so sad and like i think i tweeted at the end of the first quarter i'm on i'm on a pace to set an nba scoring record because i need like

26 nuggets because yeah i think the will chamberlain scored 100 points i think is the record for points scored at a game i'm like i'm at 26 i'm feeling great like i'm gonna beat will chamberlain and then it just collapsed that second quarter. Really demoralized. I'm worried that you went to the bath because the bath is typically your happy place. But I feel like recently it's been where you've had bad news of like the outskirts level being beat. And now it's where you go when you're sad with nugs.

It was just I needed a place of comfort, Gavin. I needed refuge. And so I grabbed my boxes and I walked in. I just slowly ate. I was just trying to get numbers numbers I conceded by the middle of the third quarter because I feel like it was just the worst quarter basketball I've seen any team ever play it was Dallas's third quarter was horrendous uh I failed I honest I'm dumb though like I by Sunday night I was like you know what maybe some strategic adjustments I think I could do this I looked

Monday there was a game I was like do I do this again I think Monday's too soon but I would imagine you you would have learned enough on the first attempt that you could you could you know differently the second time around.

Assuming that this goes the same way as the burger confidence, attempt number two will be my best attempt, and I would probably eat like 80 nuggets at that point, which probably still isn't enough. And then the third attempt would be the thing that gets me into nugget retirement. You just need to be really wise

with your second attempt. Like Jamal Murray is out right now. He tore an ACL last year, I think. So that's good for you. What you need to do is wait to, like a load management night when they're resting the Joker and he's not in.

Maybe MPJ has got some calf stiffness or something. He's not playing. And then you strike. That's a game you want to play. A game when the Nuggets are down two or three of their best offensive players, and they're just, you know, they're just treading water.

What honestly the problem was, is it looked like the Nuggets were going to score a million points, and I would need to order more Nuggets, and I just didn't have it in me. Could not get more Nuggets delivered. That was really a breaking point. So Nick's right.

It needs to be against a team with a really good defense as well. I was upset. I feel like we should bring this up. I learned after the fact, or I guess before the run, that we pushed the recording back because I was sick. I found out the next day that Jeff had this whole prank

lined up, and I put prank in quotations. I would have never been happier to get pranked by anybody. I know. What we were going to do, And I put prank in quotations. I would have never been happier to get pranked by anybody. I know. What you described sounds fantastic. So what we were going to do, and I don't think I had actually clued anybody in yet because I wanted everybody to be surprised when it happened. And I was actually trying to find your address on my phone when I was reading the Slack that we were going to postpone.

So the timing was perfect. I was going to, throughout the day, I was thinking like every one hour to 90 minutes, I wanted 20 fresh, hot McDonald's chicken nuggets to show up on your front door. And definitely during the podcast, I wanted to overwhelm you with nuggets leading up to the event, because who can say no to nuggets, first of all? And B, I think just your your entire neighborhood would smell so intensely of nuggets that i thought psychologically it would completely and totally throw you off your game turns out i didn't need to but i really did want to do that i'm really bummed i didn't get to do it i'm bummed too i would have loved to have free nuggets for a day that sounds oh yeah fantastic

it was just like there's gonna be an endless supply you're going to drown in nuggets the day before your nugget competition i don't think that would have done anything either because the next day i finished the nuggets for lunch and like dinner i just ate nuggets all the next day i said that in the recording that i don't think we'll do anything with if i was the first of anything for me i my first guy thing i was i'm the biggest chicken guy fucking love chicken ever since those little number one food huge chicken guy did the chicken dinner challenge love chicken could go a whole month just eating chicken no problem it's fantastic is there any chicken in those isn't it all chicken i don't know is it really well there's definitely there's some chicken in there for sure why don't

it do me a favor rank the major meats from favorite to least favorite for me. It's chicken by like six miles and then whatever else. I'm kind of indifferent to everything else. So you're indifferent to like beef and pork, like cow or pig. I guess I would go beef two and then pork three, but chicken

is so far ahead of both of them that it doesn't matter. I have a brief question about if you are to tackle this again have you considered just doing it from inside a mcdonald's no can i tell you can i tell you how i thought about salad creaming it though okay i thought about ordering like popcorn chicken from like kfc they're technically nuggetget. They're smaller. I could eat 200 of those.

I bet you could. I just didn't want to deal with the blowback. I didn't want to deal with that Nugget blowback. You don't want Nugget blowback. No. Nobody does. Well, I think 62 is a valiant, valiant effort. Or 67. 67, sorry.

67 is a valiant effort. Well, it's 67. 67, sorry. 67 is a valiant effort. And if it didn't cause any long-term health effects, then I think it was a great experiment, and I would love to see

you try it again, assuming that it doesn't kill you. Yeah. That's, I think, realistically, maybe way down the road. I need to think

about it more. There needs to be some strategic adjustments. Could I do it in a McDonald's? Does the McDonald's have Wi-Fi? That's my biggest question. Oh, definitely.

Of course it will. I'm not sure. I also think, oh yeah, we should definitely shout that dude out. Thank you, Eric. I also think that next time we do it, we should do it on mic like this. We should just be listening in and having a conversation. Okay. I think we can provide moral support.

Well, like a f*** face eats shit? could eat shit yeah face each shit right so like when andrew was doing it but we wouldn't we wouldn't record the game audio or anything but just like this but just the games aren't in the background and andrew's just eating he's probably not eating into the mic but you know we're we're like hey you one more andrew you can do it chew harder yeah yeah i think the motivation will help yeah i think so i think so i think that's the way to do it i think that would be that would be useful i just didn't yeah there was also a guy uh on reddit his username is chupaloop he uh i guess lives in denver and he uh is a nuggets fan he went to the game he held up a giant eat the pencil andrew sign with a big pencil on it he

i emily and I looked for him all game. We never got to see him in the stands. It was so much fun. It was like a second game going on within the game. There were so many nested ways to enjoy this Nuggets game. The one that I was having the most fun with

was trying to find this sign. So Chubaloo, that was brilliant. He said that people around him were so confused and kept asking him what the hell this sign was so chubaloo that was brilliant he said that um people around him were so confused and kept asking him what the hell the sign was about and he was like you have no idea how hard it is to explain this podcast to people and i was like oh my entire career buddy tell me about it but uh yeah it was a very very very funny very funny thing to do and was super appreciated so a hell of a i like that andrea was eating nuggets but the sign said eat the pencil like the pencil still trumps well it's become like it's become a like a phrase that doesn't mean anything anymore it's like hey now eat the pencil you know doesn't mean what hey now doesn't mean anything i feel like it now no i

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I like ExpressVPN because I like to keep my collectible purchases a secret. You've heard me talk about the evil spoon and thimble cabal. I'm in sort of a constant battle of good and evil with them, right and wrong, as it were. And I like to use ExpressVPN to keep my thimble and spoon purchases or not purchases safe. Secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com slash face. That's e-x-p-r-e-s-s-v-p-n.com slash face. And you can get an extra three months free. Expressvpn.com slash face. Pretty sure I spelled it all correctly. Woo. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. I think the best way to think about therapy is through an analogy. We get an oil change for our car to prevent a bigger

issue down the road. I have had a piston seize up before, and it is way more expensive to unfreeze an engine than it is to get the prescribed occasional oil change. Trust me, don't run out of oil in your car. Don't run out of oil in your brain. We see the doctor and we go to the gym to take care of our bodies to prevent injury and disease. We do these chores regularly. Well, some of us do them regularly to avoid a messy house. I do personally. I don't like mess. I don't like clutter in my house, in my brain, anywhere. And going to therapy is kind of like that. It's routine maintenance for your mental and emotional wellness. And it helps prevent bigger issues down the road. And I can personally attest to this as someone who's been in therapy for more than a decade now.

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That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash face. Nailed it. Do we move on to the ball, or do we move on to prototypes? Oh, I'm less excited about... Well, here's what I want to talk about. Okay. If you say prototypes,

I will be furious with you, because all we've talked about is prototypes. I want to talk about the Route 44. It's not even on the list. I want you guys to watch. I want Gavin to send you guys the video of the Route 44. Oh, man. What is a Route 44. It's not even on the list. I want you guys to watch. I want Gavin to send you guys the video of the Route 44. Oh, man.

What is a Route 44? Okay. So we went on Sunday. We went to a park. Emily and Millie and I picked up Gavin. We went to a sports store. We bought an official radar gun. By the way, guys, congratulations.

F***face owns a radar gun now. He can clock the speed of a lot of shit. spent real money on it it's fucking nice we're good fantastic uh bought a bunch we got we got two baseball gloves now face has we're gonna be able to field a team pretty soon the only thing we're gonna need is players we're gonna have all the equipment right uh anyway so after we can talk about the whether you guys want to talk about throwing the baseball or not it's not important we can do that if we need to but i i sense i'm getting a sense that we probably don't want to however on the way home we thought we would celebrate you know like when you uh when you go to the big baseball fight little league world series or whatever it is in

your town and you uh you hit the the you win the game and then everybody goes to Dairy Queen for blizzards or whatever. Well, we went to, our tradition on Sundays is to go to Sonic and get a Route 44. A Route 44 is a drink at Sonic that's a cherry lemonade

and it's got real cherries and real, or cherry limeade. It's got real cherries and real lime in it. It's called a Route 44 because it's 44 ounces. We get the diet and then we just bathe in it, essentially.

And Gavin had never heard of a diet Route 44, so we were like, let's get Route 44s on the way home to celebrate all the baseball throwing. And so we went through and we got it. He was, well, I'll let him speak about it. He was over the moon with it. But then he got out of the car. Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. She was over the moon with it. But then he got out of the car. Do you want to explain what happened, Gavin?

Oh, well, what happened, Jeff? Thanks for asking. I was carrying the camera and the tripod quite big. So I had to just have my hand over the top of the lid of the drink. But the drink is a big old American size. 44 ounces. Yeah. So obviously it slipped.

The lid came away. I ended up throwing it basically up the side of my house and in my lawn. And bright red sugar water. I'm not sure if you can tell from the video, but as soon as it happens, you can hear, if you turn the volume all the way up, you can hear a very muffled Jeff

losing his shit laughing. And then he proceeds to roll the window down and cackle out into the street. I wonder if I should just, because we can't post the video, but I can play the audio. Yeah, play the audio. We can't post the video, but I can play the audio. Yeah, play the audio. We can't post the video

because it shows your house, but play the audio. Nick, maybe Nick could just cut the audio in about now. It's the most honest laughter I've ever had. It was that, and then at one point, Emily, we were driving, and I pointed out a crazy lady

on the side of the road to Emily, and she turned right as we hit a speed bump, so she hit it full speed, and Gavin's head hit the back of the car, the roof in the back of the car. He said he thought he swallowed his tongue. That was very funny, too. I've watched this 20 times at this point.

I don't think I've ever seen Jeff happier, to be honest. It might have been the best day of Jeff's life. Oh, man. It really is the hardest I've laughed in a long, long, long time. that was pure pure joy did millie see it yeah dude she's not shit it doesn't matter what we do gav or where we go

if we hang out something that funny happens every time i don't understand it it's it's like a hundred percent reliability at this point yeah you thought we were fine you were on your way to your front door you were like no pickles here i'm good make it right in the house oh oh my god it's like I'd fucking somehow you've captured the essence of Don Zimmer eating shit by dropping a cup like it's the same. There's so many layers. Did the car stop

Jeff to laugh at Gavin? We were still in his driveway. I saw it happen. I started laughing. Then I rolled my window down to point at Gavin? While we were still in his driveway. I saw it happen. I started laughing. Then I rolled my window down to point at him and laugh. And that's I think what you're hearing at the end. And to yell at him to get the footage off of his fucking camera.

I just like that the crappy security mic kept you laughing inside a car. That's how loud it was. It was pretty fucking funny. I like to imagine the cucumber lady was walking by in terrible throwing form. Worst throwing form at that door I've ever seen.

These guys are weird. Christ. So have you tried it, Gavin? Will you ever try it? Is this like what is you've never had it still? I'm guessing. No, I had some in the car. How was it? What's your review of a Diet Cherry Limeade Route 44?

I mean, I don't typically go for like giant vats of sugary trash, but it's pretty good. It was actually quite nice. I didn't have, well, I mean, I obviously't typically go for giant vats of sugary trash, but it was pretty good. It was actually quite nice. I didn't have... Well, I mean, I obviously didn't finish it. My lawn did, but it was pretty good. Eric said you had a root six or seven.

I wasn't going I wasn't gonna bring this up but I all you're not the only one who spilled a beverage in the last few days I uh I heard about it I got some Burger King delivered uh and I was walking up the stairs and you know like when you're planning ahead I'm like okay I'm gonna plate this here I'm gonna have this all nice I'm gonna sit up all great tripped over the last stair going up the stairs fell sodas flew out of my hands i had like two two big drinks slid across the floor one of them ended up perfectly face down like the lid was down on the floor and i was like that's the worst fucking angle that that could have landed so i like pan it quickly grabbed it it spilled all over the fucking wall it's in bedroom it's like your fucking smoothie jeff it covered so many walls i get to the kitchen i put them all down i realized that the fucking lids are taped i forgot

burger king an issue i had in the past they taped the fucking things down it was totally fine the way it was that it was my violent rip up upwards is what fucked everything up and launched it if i was just delicate wouldn't have been a problem coated my walls i'm still cleaning that was on like friday i'm still cleaning soda stain from my wall like oh shit it's wrong that's still there terrible man that is funny so i don't i don't like do we i don't know if we necessarily want to get into it i want to know which throw is less impressive gavin's drink throw or jeff with a baseball i really don't know oh you know what else we should get into real fast on the way to that

because this came up on the drive over there okay no uh i think it's pretty clear i i don't want to i'm not trying to to belabor a point but everybody knows that i'm uh recently a pastrami guy i actually had a pastrami sandwich for lunch today it was phenomenal uh about an hour ago uh and and as we know i'm i'm becoming a koozie guy as well i'm i'm actually going hard into koozies and yeah i've decided that 20 2022 is going to be like a real bit it's going to be real heavy pastrami and koozie uh the forecast calls for heavy pastrami and koozies yeah uh for 2022 for sure i've also been thinking about flirting with uh being an arm out the window when i drive kind of guy although we've had some some

mixed results over the last week or so with other obnoxious people with their windows down while we were discussing this, Gavin has decided, and I wanted to bring this up so it doesn't get lost because I think it's a great idea. Gavin wants to move into the area of being a cereal on the front porch guy. Eating cereal on the front porch. Yeah, I was in the car with Jeff and I just saw a guy out on his front porch, sat on a nice little chair just eating cereal.

And I just thought, that just looks really nice. That looks like a really nice place to eat cereal maybe maybe i should try that front porch more than a back porch i think so i think there's something about a front why it's like you're just watching you get to the world in front of you yeah is it the world in front of you like i don't i don't know i mean that guy saw us we were on our way to go throw baseballs. Yeah. That's the highlight of a cereal eat. Yeah. He had a front row seat. The best part of that day was you taking us to every baseball field in Austin.

And we get there and they're all in use. So we end up doing it next to a baseball field. Just on some grass. We could have done it anywhere. As far as regulation, baseball diamonds go, this was not a regulation. It was pretty f*** face regulation for sure. Yeah, I mean, I don't really know what you guys...

I don't know that there's much of a story there. We all piled into the car. I told you the funny part about hitting the speed bump. I told you the thing about the cereal. Well, did we all give our guesses? I reinforced the pastrami. Then we went and we threw the ball and then

Gavin spilled the drink. I really feel like we covered most of it. I feel like... What was your prediction? I'm trying to remember if I made an official prediction before. I would guess that Jeff throws 57. I'm going to say we learned a lot about a lot of things.

My guess, Andrew, was 58. 58, 57. Wow'm going to say we learned a lot about a lot of things. Ooh, interesting. My guess, Andrew, was 58. 58, 57. Wow, really? Your price is right. Eric, what was yours? Eric and Nick, you and I. I didn't think you were breaking, like, for your first throw,

for, like, the first time out there, I didn't think you were breaking, like, 62. 62. Nick says around 60. I feel like you guys have inflated all these numbers over time these feel a little higher than last time I remember them but okay did Jeff throw

one ball how many balls did Jeff throw for this I would say 8 or 9 we had two balls 8 or 9 okay and do you remember which ball was the fastest and we should say I hit the fastest number twice should say which number was this number twice okay i hit the fastest number twice i was never able to break it okay and what was what was that attempt on was

that like two and eight second and last attempt i think okay there'll be a there'll be a video i would say i probably probably threw it at least 12 times threw it at least 12 times. Threw it at least 12 times? I think so. So second and 12th. I would be confident if I were you. The fact that shows you got a little stamina. Second throw and last throw. I got to say, assuming I didn't hit, like assuming this continues, right? Like obviously if I threw the ball 80 miles an hour,

we're done. Boring segment, it's over. I did what I said I was going to do. Bit of a letdown if I'm being honest with you because we thought that it would be fun to watch me build my way up uh so if i threw it to 80 then that sucks we're done but if i didn't then we get to watch the the three month journey of me building it up and i'm happy to report that if that's the case my arm feels fine i didn't have any ill effects at all now i don't know what this number is i read i don't remember i apologize not giving proper credit to the person.

I saw somebody suggest that we do a nugget for speed off that I have to eat more nuggets than whatever your pitch count. We don't. I'm not sure what the number is for that. What did Jeff throw? Do we talk about it now? Do we? Is this a reveal?

What did you throw? Well, do we want to? We'll say Millie. We'll see. Everybody threw. Emily's fastest was 16, I think. 16 miles an hour. Millie was able to throw it 26 miles an hour.

Gavin threw. He got a recorded time. Threw it a few times. Do you feel comfortable telling your time? Well, I should say that I was very nervous about throwing the ball because the last time I threw a baseball, I hit Millie in the face, straight in her face. Do you want to send them the photo of what happened when you threw the ball this time?

Okay, let me put this in the Discord. Send that fucking photo. Yeah. I'll tell you what's happened is Gavin's magnetically attracted to being an asshole to my daughter. Now, is accuracy a consideration at all, or was it just pure speed? No, accuracy didn't matter. And that actually made it a little difficult, because

there was nothing to throw to. So if you zoom in, you can see Gavin's supposed to be in this photo, you see Emily, my girlfriend taking a photo, you see Millie hauling ass, because there's a ball going straight for her head. To the left, on the extreme

left, you'll see a tripod with a camera on it. Gavin is supposed to be throwing left of that camera. I was about to be winging that camera. It went straight towards Billy's head. She had to run out of the way immediately. That is her running in

abject fear. Thank God for her teenage reflexes i was not i wasn't even facing her i couldn't believe it um she was i think she was not happy and i think slightly more worried afterwards but uh i hate because of that sort of uh slip release um i I failed to throw it very fast. My number was 43. I would argue that it turns out 43 is pretty fast. I mean, not so fast Millie couldn't dodge it.

Thank Christ. But 43 is a fast ball, I got to say. I got to say it's pretty fast. Yeah. Eric can back that up. 43, it's more heat. It's more heat than I had anticipated. Eric said, yeah, it is about half as fast as Yeah. Eric can back that up. 43. It's more heat than I had anticipated. Eric said, yeah, it is about half as

fast as 80. Yeah, he's right. That's technically correct. So, Jeff, what was your number? Well, I'll tell you what. What did you throw it at? 43. Alright, well, I'll say this. I beat 43. I threw it better than that. I threw it at 46

coming off of a myriad of lifetime of injuries and no preparation, I managed to still throw it faster than a 33-year-old British man. So I feel pretty good about that. That's a good hey. I'm going to be honest with you. I didn't hit 80. Yeah. I thought I would.

I thought I had like a 50-50 shot. Didn't quite get there. Fell a little short. But I see room for improvement. And I haven't started yet, obviously, because we hadn't had this conversation. So I'll begin the training now. I guess we'll say 90 days from November 2nd. You know, we'll try again.

And what I was even thinking is would it be fun, kind of like how they did on Top Gear, we could have a leaderboard. We could have friends of F***face throw the ball and see how fast they can do. We can see who can have the best time

in the F***face family. I think it'd be a lot of fun. We'll get you in there, Andrew. We'll get Nick. We'll get Eric. It'll be a grand old time. We'll have a little leaderboard. It'll be great.

So are we still aiming for you to get 80? Is that still the goal? I'd like to get there. I'd like to get there. I got a little bit of room. I got a little bit of room to improve.

But I'd like to get there. I think you could hit 60 with some training. I would like to agree with you. I'm a little off of 60. My top speed, which I hit twice so there was some consistency there was 49 miles an hour

you're so fucked you're so fucked turns out 49 is really fast and really hard that was the earliest one. I ran over to the radar gun that Emily was holding. And before she even could out, I just burst out laughing. Because it said 42 on it. And Jeff was just like, all right, well, you know, I'm going to throw it again. Just like, not to moralize the tour.

But never breached 50 all day. So tried so hard. Tried so hard. I couldn't do it. Definitely going to break 50. I'd like to break 60. Was there a feeling of like 60 was in the air before Jeff threw? Was there anticipation?

What was that moment like before Jeff? There was a moment. There was a moment when Emily was, we were testing out the gun and she was like just throw it that way a little bit and we just like tossed it back and forth and she clocked that at like 30 miles an hour and we were like oh that was nothing we weren't even throwing it hard easy peasy so we were all like well we're gonna throw this thing like

70 miles an hour if we throw it hard and then it turns out the difference between 30 the effort to require to throw 30 and 49 is tremendous and it's, yeah. So anyway, definitely going to hit 50.

Think I can probably hit 60, 80. We're going to shoot for not positive. I'm going to get there in 90 days. It might take a little bit longer, but that's what we determined. So that's what we're going to go for. Although I imagine if I don't hit 80, I'll probably just be,

just continue the journey. You won't hit 60 if given a year. I was going to say, Let's get through the 90 days first. Wait, you said, okay, hang on. You say you can hit 80 if given a little bit longer? How much, what

do you need to play AAA ball? What do you... Well, we're going to see. We're going to see. We got 90 days. We'll see, A, how good is my training regimen, right? Like, does it work? Did I pick the right one? Have I invested in the right people? Hopefully the answer is yes.

Hopefully I make progress. Another big thing you got to worry about in my age, am I going to suffer any training setbacks due to injuries? A lot of people get hurt in the weight room doing workouts, doing training. And so I got to watch that. So it's, you know, it's a delicate balance. Assuming all conditions. Are you going to hit the weight room doing workouts, doing training. And so I got to watch that. So it's a delicate balance. Are you going to hit the weight room?

Assuming all conditions are met, I'm going to have to. I'm going to have to train five days a week to throw this ball 80 miles an hour. I mean, duh. Obviously, professional baseball players train. I feel like 80 is dead. I would bet anything you can't throw higher than my nugget number. I'd bet anything that you can't throw a 68. I think we should go with the nuggets,

and I think you'll out-nugget the ball. I think I can be... No, absolutely. I think I can hit 80. I don't know that I will in 90 days, but I think given enough time, I can. However... There's this...

Jeff, do you realize the more time that passes, the harder it gets for you? You're not getting younger. I'm training, dude. Age is a not getting younger like i'm training dude age is a state of mind i don't think age is state of mind i'm already faster than gavin yeah but i to be honest i don't even think i could move my arm 18 miles an hour like empty i would love to know what speed that that drink was flying that looked like a solid 20 that's what we should be talking about. I even started standing in the way, so I was like,

Jeff, maybe if you aim at me, it'll go faster. Didn't really help. Here's what's gonna happen. We're gonna check back in on January 31st, and I'll throw the ball again, and we'll see if I show any kind of improvement or not. One of two things is gonna happen. I'm gonna take this very seriously, and I'm gonna train hard.

I have a trunk full of gear that leads me to believe that things are headed that way. However, I also have 46 years of intimate knowledge of myself. And so I think there's a really good chance I forget about it tomorrow and I don't think about it again until we talk about it on January 31st. So one of those two things is going to happen. I'm not sure which, but it's either I'm either going to throw it slower or way faster next time. You were just talking about having a leaderboard. Surely you'd be reminded if, well,

we can already make the, we can already make the leaderboard. People just got to throw the ball. So that I'm saying I got to spell this ball. So now we've got prototypes, then chocolate. Is that right? We do.

I feel like I think we should have to close. Yeah. We'll have to end on chocolate. And you, and what did you say? Five minutes to eat the whole chocolate i have five i don't think i'll need that much time i also my one question you never replied does the timer start when the chocolate hits my lips or is it when i peel open the thing that no when it hits your lips chocolate opening it doesn't isn't okay can i prep the chocolate for for that if by prepping you mean snapping it

and putting it in your mouth then yeah okay so i can prep i'm gonna start prepping the chocolate then while you're doing that uh i think we should push prototypes because i still got photos to edit and stuff oh um although i could get it together if we needed to but if you want to do proto like what's wrong andrew it's just this is this a lot more chocolate yeah i think i think i think we've got a solid episode here we'll cover prototypes in two days when we talk again uh but i have i have a question for you guys so a lot there's a merch related question not to circle back to merch but i i want to i want to check the temperature on something a lot of people have requested and suggested that we make baseball jerseys. I have resisted that because I would never.

It just seems hokey to me a little bit. And as it's correctly pointed out over and over again, we are not a baseball podcast. We are a fruit podcast, if anything, these days. So, you know. However, what if we made. Is there. Do you guys want to make a baseball jersey? And if you did what would

you think about this idea because i think the thing that people like about face merch is that it's unique and it's uh well it's been it's it's been dipped in my misery a lot of the time and i think that's a selling point too but uh collect exclusivity is also helpful what if we made like you know how like when you're on a little league team you get your your jersey with your number and your name on the back of it and you get to pick your number, right? And then, so what if you don't get to pick your name, but what if we just made 99 number 00 to 99 jerseys

and that's all that there are? And depending on which size you order is which number you get. And that's just what it is. And there's only 99. And so every jersey is a one of a kind. Yeah, that's fine. I like it.

Maybe the is that I wonder if that's feasible. I wonder if we could do that. Maybe the sponsor of the jersey should be NASA. NASA. Oh, NASA. Yeah, we don't want to. We don't want to. NASA on there.

Maybe get the smashing sportsman on there somewhere. That's possible. We got to get the audience support in the smashing sportsman. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good point. Uniform should definitely be there. We're going to have to acquire him.

Should definitely be a sponsor. Uniform's got to be in there. Thank Me Later, maybe? We got a lot of ads. Thank Me Later. Thank Me Later. Too Spicy Icy. We got the Beef Bracelet.

There's a lot of, yeah. Dude, this is a, this is going to look like a NASCAR. How do I want to approach this? Is really... Orally. Okay, so we're officially pushing prototypes to the next episode, and we'll just end on... I mean, we're like an hour in.

Yeah, we're 50... Okay, I'm going to start at 55 minutes of my recording, which isn't... Well, I can start the timer for you. It's just visually, if I could. Okay. Three, two, one, go, go, go. Ooh.

Can I have water? He just goes for it, not even finished talking about all the rules. I would say water at the end. No, no. This sucks. Not even finished talking about all the rules. I would say water at the end. No. No. This sucks. How much did you put in? How much was your first bite?

Like, how many squares? Pass the bar. So he put half of a bar of 100. This is 100% chocolate? 100% cocoa content chocolate. Let me ask you a question. I was thinking about this the other day while he's suffering.

If a chocolate bar is 100%, like he's eating pure chocolate right now, right? What is it? If he's eating the 70%, what's the other 30%? This is fine. What do you mean it's fine? It's fine.

It's just like dirt. Is it really not a fake tea? I had like one line of squares, and it was one of the worst things I ever ate. I'm miserable right now, but this is totally doable. Wow, you're handling it so well. I'm so surprised. This is just like dirt.

I'm just eating sand right now. So you're at 1 minute 20. It's like chocolate and all. Oh, I would not recognize this as chocolate. You're at one minute 20. It tastes like chocolate at all? Oh, I would not recognize this as chocolate. It's like no sugar. Apparently that 30% of other ingredients is the part that makes people like chocolate.

Yeah, it turns out all the stuff that's not cocoa beans is the good stuff. Turns out that when you're eating a chocolate bar, you're really eating the stuff that binds the chocolate. Are you slowing down, would you say? I'm a little bit more. Did you say something about Lord Fauntleroy? What was that? I'm working through it. All right, you're halfway through.

Oh, no, you've got five minutes. You've got the time, right? You've got two minutes. You're at two minutes ten. Mm-hmm. Can I drink with this or no? Can you what? Can I drink?

Am I allowed to have a drink or no? Yeah, the end. But not during. I don't think so. Yeah, Nick says no. Fuck you, Nick. Wow. Lovingly.

What percentage through the bar do you think you are right now? It's hard to answer. Because there's so much paste in your mouth? It's just paste. How much of the bar has not entered into your mouth yet? Three minutes. Boom.

Seven. Eight. Like 11 squares, maybe? How many squares did you start with? A lot. Seven. Eight. Like 11 squares, maybe? Why aren't you eating? How many squares did you start with? A lot. Like, over half the bar. I got, like, maybe a quarter of the bar left.

I don't think you have time to be chatting about it. I think you should be chewing. Well, then stop fucking asking me questions. He's got a point there. You have to get the rest in. I'm doing it right now. Well, let me ask you a question gavin do you think he's gonna do you think he's gonna make it it sounds like he might he's got uh a minute 20 left oh i don't know what it proved it sounds super gross and it sounds like it's exactly as gross as you said it was

well immediately it's not it's not flawed him like it did me. It's not like ruined his day. Well, I think the thing that we're going to learn here is that Andrew swims in gross in ways that other people aren't comfortable, maybe. Fuck. At this point, Andrew,

is it all in your mouth? Uh-huh. So there's nothing left in the container? Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Wow, I'm so impressed. I'm so impressed. I'm so impressed.

I'm not going to have time. What did he say? About time. He wants to know how much time he's got. 70 seconds left. He's not going to make it. He's not going to make it. Swallow it.

He's not going to make it. He can't do it. You got it. I'm done. I'm done. You can do it. 15 seconds. No. No.

It's like he's drowning. No. And time. Five minutes. More time. More time. More time. What? More time.

All right, well, can you do it within seven? Oh, definitely. It just sounds like you're storing it in your face. Like you're not working to get it down. I'm trying. I could listen to this all day long. Oh, man. Oh, so bad.

It can't be that bad. I'm excited for this review after he's done. If I... What's the issue with, like, what's holding you up? Wallowing it. I feel like if we give you

to seven minutes, that counts, because we asked you probably two minutes worth of questions. We're going. You know how in the... Do you like it? You know how in, like, NASA merchandise, it has, like, the logo, or it'll have, like have like a little astronaut and then it'll have the sky and they'll have stars like

you know like a black. Should if when we make the NASA logo should it look like that but it's little nuggets? It's like little L-shaped nuggets? Yeah I think that's great. Exactly. Yeah. He's gonna need to 20 seconds till 7 minutes Andrew. That boy is rejecting the chocolate.

How has he got more in his mouth now than when he started? It's just all pink. Seven minutes. It's not like it's just too pink. It's just too pink. It's just all pink. It's just all pink. It sounds so much worse than in the beginning. It's deteriorating.

No. It sounds like it's getting wetter, maybe. Maybe the... Maybe the... No, no, no. You can't do that. It's not allowed. You're going to make each other throw up. I will fucking spit chocolate everywhere. I

Would love to see somebody trying to subtitle that Oh God, it's all over my lips. You sound like you got a head crab on you. It's like it's getting thicker in my mouth. Oh God. Almost nine minutes since you started I'm making progress oh wow

that sounded pretty clear actually yeah how close are you to finishing would you say pretty close so you're setting a world record right now

so when you say it done that'll be the official world record just like the current fastest face baseball throw in the world

is 49 miles an hour I have the world record at the moment baseball throw in the world is 49 miles an hour. I have the world record at the moment. You will have the world record on this. I'm so close. We should have like a Guinness Book of Records, but it's just face records. Done.

Did it. Nine and a half minutes. 930 on the dot. Yeah, I think I could hit seven easily. I learned a few things in the middle of that. What did you? What did you learn? The only way to ingest it is to treat it like I'm swallowing pills.

Like it's medication. That became my approach. You were just swallowing full lumps? Yeah. Well, no, like it was, I chewed it to the point where it was just like a thick paste. It was a chocolatey liquid. And that's what, it was like mud. It was like trying to eat mud and you just have to

swat like you will never chew it to a texture that is great did it taste good it tastes awful but it's consistently bad oh it's consistently what bad like once you it's there's it doesn't climb the real problem would have been if you would have made me laugh really hard i would have shot chocolate fucking everywhere and there's no coming back from that yeah you need a new room i would so has it gone up or down then your confidence after that i think i'm a dark chocolate guy we'll have to update the kitchen magnets okay i uh i gotta be honest i don't want to get involved in this chocolate game you guys have going on. I'm looking at my eyeballs in baseball throws.

But I feel like I could eat it faster than that. I feel like it wouldn't be as hard as your man said. I'd love to see you try. I think next week. To be honest. Next Thursday. I think you could beat him, Jeff. I don't trust you saying that, but I do think...

Do we have a chocolate off? I'll do it again. I think I could do better. Let me say, I definitely don't trust Gavin's motivations and I think he's a, at least when it comes to me, usually a liar. So, but I do honestly, personally think I could do

better than that. I think we should have a chocolate off on Thursday. I'm all for this. You know what's better than a chocolate off? What? A chocolate trio. We should get Gavin another one and we should all do a three-way. Oh no, there's no way. I need to... I'm still working.

I don't want to ruin my... I'm still working up my palate. We'll see if we can eat an entire chocolate bar before Gavin gets through one square. Nick's got a great point. Low calorie, too.

Tie in antioxidants, maybe. I don't know. I did start on... I started on 70 by the way you did honestly i had a piece of 70 too and it gave me more chocolate confidence i'm like 30 more of this can't be bad yeah 70 is great i wonder which percentage it gets uh tremendously awful see i don't like any of it so it's's equally bad, I think, is my advantage. Then how are you going to be a dark chocolate guy? It's like, before I'd never even touch it,

I feel like I just had the most potent dark chocolate you could have, and I was okay with it. I know what you mean. Like, early on, I tasted alcohol, and I was like, this is fucking disgusting, but I definitely can tell I'm going to be an alcohol guy, and then I was. So maybe it's like that. Could be. Yeah. All's like that. Yeah.

Could be. Yeah. All right. That was great. I feel like hopefully the comment leavers will be satisfied. I feel like we closed a lot of loose ends today. Gavin and I threw a baseball. It was pretty badass.

Everybody was pretty impressed with the results. Andrew, you were a demon on that chocolate. That was fantastic to watch. Oh, we had the whole Nugget Saga. Who could forget that? What a ride that was. And the real fun was doing it together knowing that the audience was

right there alongside us. So we really appreciate that and maybe tune in next week and we'll do it again. And if you don't, hopefully nothing bad happened to you in your personal life that kept you away from the podcast. Hopefully you were just forgetful or lazy or whatever,

but maybe get your shit together next time and have some brand loyalty. All right. Peace out.