F**kface - Andrew's Treasure Trove of Pencils // 3 Rubbish Strikes to a Marathon [126]

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Season 5 Episode 2, Gavin's real tech problems, Andrew's pencils, how many strokes is in a pencil, Gavin's anxiety dinner dreams, Geoff kisses Gavin, LASO achieveme...nt, Eric's discord hate, baseballs, ankles, cold dreams, marathons, Rubbish, Henry's passing, Padres ears and goose, Icy Hot balls, and Geoff's proposal teaser. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com  Sponsored by BetterHelp http://betterhelp.com/face , Fum http://www.breathefum.com/face , Hello Tushy http://hellotushy.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:10 Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me as always, Gavin Frey and Andrew Payton. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is episode 126.
Starting point is 00:01:52 And to my knowledge, this is the first episode of season five? That's correct. I think last episode should have been the first episode of season five. Oh, I thought season four ended in that episode. Yeah, I thought we... I don't remember. Didn't we do another one after the last one? Oh, you're right. Hold on a second.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. I believe this is episode 126, and correct me if I'm wrong, boys, but this is the second episode of season five. Sounds right to me, Jeff. Yeah, that's exactly correct. You're so smart. Oh, you guys are sweet.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Thanks. I know how much you love it when I number and categorize things, so I wanted to be sure I got it right for you can i talk about a thing that i'm annoyed about irrationally but i am annoyed about okay gavin yeah i'm annoyed at you too so oh really what did i do that's gonna be fast let's find out what gavin annoyed you for okay i'm annoyed because gavin messaged our discord saying his computer won't turn on slight problem seemed like a big deal you still fucking showed up on time you're annoying i hate it i hate that even with your tech issues you're still on
Starting point is 00:02:50 time i wish i hadn't warned you guys and i would have just shown up on time with you know but i was getting a bit freaked out what do you think the chances are andrew gavin this is not for you this is just purely for andrew so you can sit quietly. Andrew, what do you think the chances are here that Gavin invented a computer problem that he then instantly fixed to show up on time just to make himself look better so that he may lessen the time that it's going to take him to get back to being an on-time guy? No, I think that's a genius point by you.
Starting point is 00:03:24 I completely agree he's been late a lot recently so this is a perfect example of maybe him setting up a scenario which he could still despite the barriers thrown in his way appear on time let me be honest with you about eight minutes into my computer not turning on i did figure out why i wasn't turning on really i have a blu-ray drive that if it's on when I turn the computer on it tries to boot from a disc and I didn't hear the fact that it was going like and as soon as I turned that off
Starting point is 00:03:51 the computer came on but I didn't figure, yeah it still took nine minutes to turn on so in essence, Andrew and I were right I would say subconsciously you were right okay, there's nothing wrong with that I'll take that.
Starting point is 00:04:06 That's victory. You're talking about that annoyance? I have a thing that's been driving me crazy in my bedroom where when I turn my TV off with the Apple remote, which is all I use because it's got an Apple TV connected to it, the TV turns off, and then anywhere between 20 and 45 seconds later, it is random,
Starting point is 00:04:23 it will just turn back on again and then i have to turn it off a second time but it happens 100 of the time the tv in the bedroom is a two turn off tv i don't know why or how it started all at once in the middle of like it's been there it's been on that wall working fine for a year i don't know six months a year however long since i hung it and the motherfucker just maybe like three weeks ago, just decided, nah, I'm going to turn off TV now. And it sucks. Is it that the Apple TV has already slept?
Starting point is 00:04:51 And when you're hitting it, you're turning off the TV, but you're actually turning the Apple TV on? No, because I'm doing it like from an app. Like I'm watching an episode. I'm like watching SportsCenter via the Apple TV. It's all operating. And I'm just like, ah, fuck this. I got to get it done.
Starting point is 00:05:04 No idea. My behavior hasn't changed at all. Only the TV's behavior. Oh, anyway. So what were you annoyed at Andrew about? Oh, well, you know, there's a photo. You know, we just had the highly successful, I would say highly successful alphabet and everybody seemed to love it uh this is one of the photos uh that uh andrew posted showing his desk as we all know uh gavin and i love to pour over andrew's any any image we can get of andrew's apartment or or home or secret place you live uh so that we can find any like inkling
Starting point is 00:05:46 of like a secret data about the bizarre way you live your life. And so I was looking over that picture with a fine tooth comb because there's so much to look at. And that's when I noticed and then apparently every member on the site noticed as well.
Starting point is 00:06:00 You have a thousand fucking pencils on your desk. What kind of like power move are you pulling on us here? You've literally, Mr. Anti-Pencil has a, Nick nailed it, a treasure trove of pencils. And then I got to thinking, not only are you flaunting these pencils just right in our face, you put them in a porta potty, which was a torture device of your design directed at me. So I feel like it's like a double fuck you coming my way. We both saw this as a multi-layered power play.
Starting point is 00:06:31 No, no, no. First of all, porta potty is maybe the nicest gift I've ever given anyone. There is no attack as part of a porta potty. You didn't have a toilet. I provided you a toilet. I don't see why there's any issue with what I did. Second of all,
Starting point is 00:06:44 I've never protested against pencils as as a tool to use them you can never have enough pencils who doesn't love a pencil i just uh you know wait did you just admit that that's a pencil yeah it's not i wouldn't it's not a writing utensil that's a that's a pencil well i think you could call that a pencil you could call it all sorts of things. Interesting. Yeah. Where did you get the pencils and why do you have so many? Where did I get the pencils?
Starting point is 00:07:09 I bought I bought a thing of pencils from Amazon, like a giant pack of it. And I was going to do it. That was going to be my episode 100 thing that I decided not to do for some reason. I was going to instigate the audience i was going to make a whole video of like having the pencils grinding them down getting ready to like make them into a pancake like cooking a pancake for it and then going like nah and then just eating some hot cakes from mcdonald's using my great hack and then i was gonna film the video of me walking the pencils to the garbage and just throwing them in there. And I never did that.
Starting point is 00:07:45 So instead, I just put them in my port-a-potty mug and they're there. Were you worried about the backlash of such an act? I don't remember. There was something that happened at that time that I just was like, you know what? I think maybe it was the fact that episode 100 felt like it was going to be a fun thing that we're celebrating. I was like, I maybe don't want to try to annoy everybody. I can't remember what you did for episode 100.
Starting point is 00:08:09 I didn't do anything. I had every, I had all these things planned and I didn't ultimately do any of them because they would either be against Jeff, which was not a great idea at the time, or it would instigate the audience, which I didn't want to do because I want to 100 to be like a fun thing. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. would instigate the audience which i didn't want to do because i want 100 to be like a fun thing interesting yeah interesting okay and plus i'm kind of glad i didn't because nothing could top
Starting point is 00:08:30 with jeff did he stole the show this is a great thing you did the tattoos the tattoos oh right i did i was sitting here trying i was racking my fucking brain trying to remember what i did on episode 100 you looking like a mermaid getting tattoos on you. It's fantastic. Completely forgot I did that. Oh, man. Do you own a pencil sharpener? Oh, yeah, I do. I bought one at the same time.
Starting point is 00:08:55 I have an electric pencil sharpener. I was going to use that to grind them down. I think instead of grinding those things down, I think you should use each and every pencil to its... Like, use it down to the nub and then as soon
Starting point is 00:09:06 as you finish one uh grab the next one and try to make it your life's goal to draw out all of those pencils I like that idea a lot I think I'm gonna I'm gonna do that they're gonna get a lot of use for uh something related to MVP coming up so maybe I'll knock one or two of them out how long does it take how many how many strokes is in a pencil how many strokes yeah that's a great question let me google that yeah like how far does a pencil like will it go a mile like how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop have we done that research for pencils like how many strokes is the average pencil uh oh lord uh it's been established that the average pencil has enough graphite to write about 45 000 words i could do two lists plus some maybe if you're actually writing the list with a pencil you wouldn't have as many repeats
Starting point is 00:10:03 no i would just i would have probably more because i couldn't easily search it and i'd just be more miserable i think i think as a test nobody could read my list if i did it by hand do you have bad handwriting oh the worst terrible you think my drawing is bad oh my god jesus christ i i wonder if you as a test just wrote the word word 45 000 times with that pencil uh see if it like see how close you are to finishing it yeah kind of like uh kind of like every punishment i had in school actually yeah like the bart simpson yeah yeah yeah maybe i'll try that maybe next time we record i'll have a sheet probably not probably not going to do that but I like the idea have I told you guys that since when the last
Starting point is 00:10:50 couple of well maybe like six weeks I've had two major anxiety dreams about missing dinners really because of your lateness yeah like I keep fascinating it's because I felt it like I felt Jeff's text text in in the home depot and i just thought ah like oh i'm so screwed and and that feeling has has not yet left me and i and i
Starting point is 00:11:14 just get that anxious feeling and i've woken up from that twice since is your greatest fear going to be when those dreams feel normal to you when you've truly become a man of lightness i just shake them off yeah they're no longer anxiety when i can shrug that off in my dream i think that's the goal don't worry as soon as you're able to do that there'll be an edgar wright dream waiting in the wings oh man dude the funny thing about that to me is it was it was great content for the podcast i always like i said the time, I almost preferred it that way. Because I've had dinner with you a million times. We'll have dinner a million more times.
Starting point is 00:11:51 It was more memorable than the dinner we probably would have had. Yeah, I guarantee you, you go to that dinner, you and Meg show up, I can't tell you one thing about that night today. Completely unremarkable. I'm sure we have a lovely time, but it fades in amongst the other 10,000 double dates and dinners that we've had together. But I don't know how to tell you. Andrew, this is how pro-Gavin I am these days.
Starting point is 00:12:16 How much I love all of you guys and how I'm just so full of love right now. I was at work yesterday to do another podcast, right? And in that podcast, somebody mentioned, stay away from age. They're doing lasso. So they're probably pretty, it's pretty intense and smelly in there.
Starting point is 00:12:30 And as soon as I heard they're playing lasso, I thought, well, Gavin's got to be involved in that. I ran over. Everybody said hi to me. I Joe, Michael, everybody. I think maybe Alfredo. I ignored them all. I ran over to give Gavin a hug and a big kiss on his head.
Starting point is 00:12:44 And I didn't even think about it. I just kissed him on his head. And then I was walking away. Gavin goes, I got a kiss. And I was like, I kissed him? I was just so excited to see him. You came in and we were like, hey! And then you kissed my forehead.
Starting point is 00:12:55 And I was like, oh, I got a kiss. And then you were gone. And then we beat the level. That was my good luck. Should we talk about Lasso? A different Lasso that occurred? Because that brought me a lot of joy last week. I didn't even think about bringing it up in this context.
Starting point is 00:13:10 But you saying that made me think. I don't even know what you're talking about. You don't know? You're a key part of this. So a very long time ago, Gavin and his friend Dan tried to get the Halo 2 Lasso. I don't know if you want to cue up the photos because they're fantastic. They tried to get the Halo 2 Lasso achievement, which is to complete you want to queue up the photos because they're fantastic. They tried to get the Halo 2 lasso achievement, which is to complete every level of Halo 2 and lasso
Starting point is 00:13:29 in the playlist. Now, they did it in co-op. There's a weird issue with Halo 2 where there is one mission at the start that you have to do in single player. They will not let you do it in co-op. So they went through the entire game and the achievement never popped
Starting point is 00:13:41 and they realized it's because they didn't do this one level. And you can't just go do do it later. Like you have to do it in the correct sequence. Yeah, I have a photo of the moment we discover this. Popping it in now. That is a picture of Dan puzzled at why he didn't get the achievement.
Starting point is 00:13:59 So because that happened, this is even before we did F*** Face. I felt bad for Gavin. This is 2019. This is something that I've I felt bad for Gavin. This is 2019. This is something that I've kind of considered doing myself. This will be motivation. I'll do it with one of my friends. We'll get to the end and then I'll let
Starting point is 00:14:14 Gavin know, hey, I have two checkpoints. You can do it with one of us and Dan can do it with the other person. It's gonna be great. I think we talked about, did we talk about the intricacies of why it didn't work? Yeah, I just explained it, I believe. Okay, so, but all we had to do was then play the first cutscene and first level
Starting point is 00:14:31 and then beat the playlist again. But you can't start from the end of the playlist. You have to start and play the entire game again. But all you really need is for the game to see you click over the final boss and the final level. That is correct. With all the other levels complete. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:46 So I, with a friend, go through Halo 2 LASSO, get to the last one, reach out to Gavin. We coordinate. It takes us a few hours, but we do it. We complete Halo 2 LASSO. We both get the achievement. Now it's just my friend and Dan need to sync up somehow. They have no connection.
Starting point is 00:15:04 It seems very unlikely to me that this will ever happen, but it's just, it's just a thing. I think like two months after. Yeah. So we're 2019. Yeah. Last week.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Cause Gavin, I had talked about it sort of recently, how it's funny that my friend still has that checkpoint and has never gotten the achievement. And Dan still also hasn't gotten it. Gavin texted me. What days are your, is your friend available? Like in the next five days,
Starting point is 00:15:27 does your friend have an availability? Well, first I was like, does he still have that checkpoint? Because I thought what are the chances that this checkpoint would have held for three years? Now let me explain the joy that I got when I received that message. That friend, and I love them,
Starting point is 00:15:43 they're terrible at Halo. They spent most of that experience not playing while I dragged us through level by level. They're awful. They are the person that I did the applesauce races with where I wasn't eating the applesauce
Starting point is 00:16:00 and they would just chow it down. They're an idiot, and I love them. They're terrible at Halo too. They're fantastic um so when i saw that text i thought oh this is my friend the applesauce guy he's so bad at this this is gonna be a disaster i'm so excited i rushed over to message him hey what's your availability for the next five days we sorted it out we got it organized it was like monday whatever it doesn't really matter but we but they found a time and for the next that was like two days in the future they're going to do it there were moments throughout those next two days where i would just light up enjoy
Starting point is 00:16:34 knowing the pain that that they would be going through this is terrible at halo and dan was excited to finally get closure on this achievement that he put in probably 40 hours into, maybe. Easily, yeah. I'll let you take it from here, Gavin, because I sadly was not able to watch these runs. Tell me, what was the experience like watching the play? I realized very quickly that this person was no good at Halo. Because Iron is on.
Starting point is 00:17:06 It just means that when your friend died, they both got reset. And Dan... And I just never hear this side of Dan. But Dan was like, don't worry about it. No, we've got... He was the one being really motivational.
Starting point is 00:17:23 And there was one where they... Go ahead. Go ahead. I was just gonna say my friend has weird... That was the weirdest, awkward...
Starting point is 00:17:32 That was the worst talkover we've ever had in the 126 episodes. That was... I mean, I want to note it to cut it out, but Jesus Christ, what happened?
Starting point is 00:17:41 That was like... That's so funny. One thing that's great about this podcast is we very rarely ever have those moments and whereas every other podcast I've ever done remotely they're constant but man I just stepped in that hard no we have those moments
Starting point is 00:17:54 yeah the problem is that was there was too much respect there there was too much kindness we both wanted to give the right away we both were committed to yeah it was it was that was the issue I was just I don't even remember what I was gonna oh they have no patience they die all the time they just run out and die they're really bad at just waiting so that was one bit where they tried probably 25 times to make it they're basically trying to skip a segment with tons of enemies and dan made it like he performed
Starting point is 00:18:19 this jump that he'd been trying so many times and and it was like, oh, we got it. We got it. Oh, okay. Okay, don't die. Don't die. We've got this. And they slowly edge through the rest of the level, very meticulously taking out Jackal snipers and all this stuff. And I just hear Dan going, oh, no, don't worry.
Starting point is 00:18:39 We can do it. Your friend is clearly running again. They go, they get all the way to the end all they have to do is do the glitch with Johnson if you've done Lassa you've probably cloned Johnson a few times because it's pretty much impossible to beat the game without
Starting point is 00:18:58 doing this exploit where you have to drop a spectre into the final boss room at perfect time they get all the way to that point and Dan messes drop a spectre into the final boss room at perfect time. They get all the way to that point, and Dan messes up the spectre part. So they drop into the final boss without the spectre, which means you can't clone Johnson. They have to restart the entire level again.
Starting point is 00:19:17 They're hours in at this point. They go through the entire level again. They do it. They do the glitch. They pull it off. Hold hold on my shit's too powerful i will say that's one of the things why don't we get this freaking uh nitro or whatever what made me so excited was because when gavin and i did it the glitch to get johnson in to like bring the the specter into the room is kind of difficult if you're not experienced with it. It took
Starting point is 00:19:46 us, I want to say three attempts. So we had to go through the level three times at that point. I was like, oh, they're gonna definitely fuck up that specter glitch. This is gonna be great. They're gonna have to do it multiple times. It's gonna be a massive headache. I've put an image in, that was 270 kilobytes. I've put an image in
Starting point is 00:20:02 Slack. Okay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It was 270 kilobytes. I've put an image in Slack. Okay. It's the same image. It's the same image three years apart. Oh my God. He didn't get the achievement. I guess at some point in the interim time, Dan somehow lost all of his progress in the lasso playlist. Like all of his mid progress for any playlist was reset.
Starting point is 00:20:29 So he now has the first cutscene complete, the second level armory and the final level and everything else in the middle is missing. And the best part about it is that your friend got the achievement. is that your friend got the achievement. So all that happened is Dan helped Andrew's friend get an achievement for three hours. And he walked away from the whole thing. He's like, ah. He doesn't care about that achievement at all.
Starting point is 00:21:01 That means nothing to him. Apparently the guy was like oh thanks yeah appreciate it oh man he has one of the hardest achievements in the entire game dan who's now pretty much played the whole game and the final level twice still has nothing to show for it i think arguably the best part and i correct me if i'm wrong in this Gavin, even if Dan finishes all the levels he still doesn't have credit for because of that glitch, he still would then need to beat the final level again for the pump, so he'd have to beat it three times. He can't get that achievement without playing that level for a third time.
Starting point is 00:21:36 We couldn't believe it. I was just in tears that he was stood in front of the TV in the exact same pose, trying to figure out what went wrong again. Did you recognize instantly that it was the same photo? Well, it's a screenshot from a video. And I remember I've taken the same video twice. So I was like, it seems really familiar. So is he going to try again in three years?
Starting point is 00:22:00 I think so. I'm always feeling guilty enough to the point where I'll go through it with him again I feel like he really deserves it at this point that's pretty unfortunate yeah oh man it's the worst lasso too aside from Halo 5 it's pretty bad
Starting point is 00:22:18 it's terrible how is Halo 5 lasso going? awful, absolutely horrendous what makes you say that i mean each we put our video the other day that was three hours and 40 minutes long we didn't even do the level we just got stuck and stopped what level are you on right now how far into it are you we should speak level four oh there's like's like 12 or 13 levels? There's 12 playable.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Oh, there's 12? I thought there were 10. Wow. You're not even halfway. That's great. There's not even an achievement for it or anything. Nope, there's no reason to do it. I know they said they wouldn't do it. Nothing would make me happier if they add Halo 5 to the Master Chief collection with a lasso. Right when you're about to finish that achievement list you've
Starting point is 00:23:06 698 they drop a halo 5 lasso into the mix eric can i get um shitty discord to let me put up bigger files yeah i'll uh i'm i'm getting it right now i just feel like two years in we we deserve it right right i just said that we were gonna do, but we can keep having the conversation on the episode if you want. Eric, I love you. Sorry for providing a little bit of extra. If I were in the room with you right now, I'd kiss you on the forehead, Eric. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:23:34 I'm already getting it. I'm getting the card. I was going to do it. Here's the thing. I was going to do it during the episode, and then I thought, I don't trust Discord at all to not drop everything and make that be a big thing in the middle of the recording by doing whatever this nitro boost is
Starting point is 00:23:51 so i'm waiting until we're done and then i'll take care of it and then we should have it for the year i because i nothing makes me feel more more like a chump than thinking an image will land and then i just get like an fu no. No, no, I understand. I totally, I completely agree with you. I hate, here's the thing. I hate Discord. I genuinely think out of every VoIP solution that's ever been a thing on the internet,
Starting point is 00:24:17 Discord is the fucking dirt worst. I hate, I hate. I am every day just hanging on to life because I'm trying to outlive Discord. I hate it so much. I hate, I hate Discord passionately. I think it's just the bottom of the barrel, but because it's purple and gray, everyone gets tricked into thinking it's a cool little thing. I hate it. I hate it so much by that i was gonna say uh at some point today i think everybody needs to start
Starting point is 00:24:57 being nice to eric because i'm getting the sense that he's on edge and he might crack soon eric's burned out i don't know why, because the goddamn San Diego Goose fucking showed up last night and cursed the Dodgers. Yeah, I love the Goose. I'm a big fan of the Goose. Have you guys seen the Goose? I'm a big fan of the Goose. No.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Oh, you haven't seen this Goose? So the baseball playoffs are right now. It's Eric's team, the San Diego Dodgers against... What? The fuck are you saying? Sorry, Eric's team, the San Diego Dodgers, against... What? The fuck are you saying? Sorry, Eric's team, the San Diego Padres, against the Los Angeles Dodgers. I'm obviously rooting for the Dodgers. And in like the fifth or sixth inning, a goose just showed
Starting point is 00:25:34 up right behind second base and just parked and wouldn't leave. And they played for a while, which I thought was wild. I think they let Gavin Lux hit while that goose was sitting there, and then they went to a commercial break and the goose was wild. I think they let Gavin Lux hit while that goose was sitting there and then they went to a commercial break and the goose was gone. I'm a big fan of everyone photoshopping hats on the goose.
Starting point is 00:25:51 I'm a big goose guy. That's great. I think the goose is really fantastic. Tops Now, Jeff, do you know about the Tops card? No. Tops Now has released, I'm going to link to a tweet here. Sorry, this is a real sort of side
Starting point is 00:26:05 tangent for like the rest of this episode for 24 hours there is a digital goose card that tops has i want it signed by the goose i want a physical that's what i'm saying i think it's a good idea we should this goose is pretty cool i'm a big fan. Mostly I'm on edge just because of the baseballs in general, not baseball, the sport, but baseballs. Yeah. That's why you're on edge. Yeah. It has a lot to do with that. So, you know, we we had a bunch of people show up to buy.
Starting point is 00:26:39 We only had a couple hundred to sell. Unfortunately, we oversold by six, I think is the number. So six people, six people bought baseballs and then got like a refund because, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:26:52 because no system is perfect and there was a glitch or whatever. Maybe, who knows? Maybe they bought it at the same microsecond or something.
Starting point is 00:26:57 But, so when we, when we recognized that, I asked Eric to get in touch with those people, which he did, and I appreciate. And we're just going to hit six balls
Starting point is 00:27:04 and then we'll just mail them free balls. So not only did they get a refund, but they'll get the ball. Yeah, we're doing a make good, Gavin. We've made good, and now we're making good. We're going to make make good. It's crazy that it didn't all work out like you said it would. I mean, it did because they oversold and got refunded, and everything went up on time. And I don't know what else to fucking do well I do know
Starting point is 00:27:26 what else to do because when the baseballs come out I've already told Jeff I don't have anything to do with them like I'll hit them and I'll I'll get them to the people who need them I'm done with it at that point everyone else can do baseballs I don't I was I was afraid I was afraid Eric was gonna quit that day he was I was I was doing a lot of really nice talking to Eric about what a good job he does as a producer. A lot of like... I was doing a lot of
Starting point is 00:27:49 talking off ledge conversations. I was surprised the refund even took place. Like, how does that... Surely we could have just gone and hit six more quickly without it being a thing. Right.
Starting point is 00:27:57 But that's what happens when we have other departments that are just sort of doing stuff. Yeah. I mean, just talk to us. We're here. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:28:06 We'll hit more balls. But that's okay. That's okay. We've got to sort it out. Because I worked with them. I've contacted the people. We're hitting six more baseballs. And that just means we have to go hit more baseballs again soon.
Starting point is 00:28:17 But first we have to shoot more Does It Do and do a monkey movie. Don't worry. There's a list. And speaking of which, there's also, I got to say, you know, I was telling you guys, I think my finger might be broken. I don't know if's a list i uh and speaking of which there's also i i gotta say you know i was telling you guys i think my finger might be broken i don't know if i told you that or not i'm pretty sure my finger is broken so it's gonna be hard for me to hit baseballs but i'm gonna do it anyway from the baseballs it broke no no i picked up some groceries and my finger oh i did a weird position yeah And I thought I was fine.
Starting point is 00:28:45 I thought I just like pulled a muscle or something. But this week it started to just like hurt in like a searingly blinding way. So I'm going to deal with that. I'm going to deal with that next week. But, you know, I'll just like, I just won't be able to swing for the fences, but I'm sure I can still hit. Yeah. I hope it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:29:04 I'm tired of getting older. I'm tired of my body breaking down. Am I sprained ankle from the bike wreck? You know, I thought my knee was worse. My ankle still hurts. And if anything, it hurts more now. How's the rash? I mean, I think it's...
Starting point is 00:29:19 No, I was hoping it would just be gone. I was hoping there'd be a win for you. I'm still taking medicine for it. The infected area is still discolored, but I was told that that could last up to like a year. Oh, do you have a stained crotch? I have like a stained thigh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:36 So I'm still putting medicine on it, but it doesn't itch or anything. It hasn't itched in probably a month. It's just I'm just going through with the medicine. So I guess it's fine. Other than if you look at it, you go like, oh, my God, you have a giant birthmark right
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Starting point is 00:33:08 slash face and use code face. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. There have been so many times in my life, especially growing up where I've been trying to process something difficult emotionally or just even sometimes the day-to-day challenges we face as adults, difficult emotionally or just even sometimes the day-to-day challenges we face as adults. It would be so much easier to navigate if there was a user manual for her, but unfortunately, life doesn't come with a user manual, so when it's not working for you, it's normal to feel stuck. Navigating any of life's challenges can make you feel unsure, whether it's a career change, a new relationship, or becoming a parent. Therapists are trained to help you figure out the cause of challenging emotions and learn productive coping skills,
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Starting point is 00:34:38 Plus, it's affordable. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to match with the therapist. If things aren't clicking, you can easily switch to a new therapist anytime. It couldn't be simpler. No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com slash face. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash face. I have a question for Andrew okay what's up I assume your ankles have been at 100%
Starting point is 00:35:12 for your allotted six weeks that you wanted right no moving on no no they're not what do you mean no i had i slept maybe an hour at a time last night because i was dealing with an ankle issue it's terrible i get i'm so tired your your life is a constant cyclical loop you have two months of ankles you're back on you break a chair it get a new one we're
Starting point is 00:35:43 figuring out the i'm narrowing it down though we're getting to the bottom of it it's uh what do you mean you get to the bottom of what i'm the bottom down to the ankle i'm narrowing it down i'm figuring out what the issues are we're getting through it but last night the issue was your shitty ankles well there's multiple issues i have shitty ankles and then i have other things going on too but i'm thinking we're getting through it we're figuring it out so well i i stepped on a landmine essentially accidentally and i couldn't the only way i wasn't in excruciating pain was was if i had my foot flat which is not easy to sleep having your leg up and your foot flat so i'd try to sleep then it would hurt then i'd sit up and i'd try to sleep, then it would hurt. Then I'd sit up and I'd try
Starting point is 00:36:25 to sleep sitting up on my bed. That wouldn't really work. I'd get like maybe 20 minutes, lay back down for 15 until it got bad. It was just up and down all night. Terrible pain. I, okay. Follow up question. Did the percentage drop below a hundred due to something that happened in your own bedroom? No. Well, no, no. Okay. But we're getting there. We're figuring it out. Didn't get six weeks.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Probably got like five. Five's not bad. So what percentage are you left at now? Right now, I'd say we're getting better. I'd say we're probably like 60. Are we doing damage or health? What is the rating? Just total health of the ankle, like the fallout. 40%.
Starting point is 00:37:04 40% right now that's like 40 you have a hundred to 40 that fast huh oh it was yeah no it was bad on the i would say that i was 20 for most of the evening but we're back up to 40 we're climbing back up again nick says you need a stim pack i do need a stim pack i'd love a stim pack i will say i had a little bit of a fun moment where i brought an ice pack into bed because i've i've recently become a fan of the ice pack i always rejected it i didn't enjoy it you're an ice pack guy i am now a big ice pack guy has to be the ones that you could that aren't like ice you know like it's the gel you need a gel one not a nice one because my my issue with the ice pack is they say apply it every 15 minutes on and off.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Go 15, take like 30, go into 15 more. That fucking ice melts so quickly. It's awkward to put on places. It doesn't apply. It's just terrible. But you get a gel pack. And I have my little fridge and my room keeps it cold we reset it it's great but i last night put the ice pack in the bed then realized ah the
Starting point is 00:38:13 place where i'm really sore i don't think i could really like naturally in a way that wouldn't be excruciating put that limb on that in that area but what do i do with this ice pack now i just got an ice pack and i felt like i made the bed a little bit of a dangerous game because for whatever sleep i get i roll around a little bit i don't want to just randomly land on ice that'd be a bad wake up so i felt like i made the bed a little bit dangerous it was kind of it was fun spiced it up a little bit did you have any cold dreams didn't have any cool I'd take any dreams at all. I didn't get no dreams. I was up and down too much. But yeah, we're not six weeks.
Starting point is 00:38:51 What were you going to ask if I was? What was the scenario in which was going to play out? Well, I was just going to ask you, and then you were going to reply, I'm not doing it. I was going to ask you, when are you doing the marathon? Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Yeah, I'm not doing it. Still works. Still go there. Oh, man. Do you think in your lifetime you will do the marathon? Yes. Okay. Do you think in the lifetime of this podcast you will do the marathon?
Starting point is 00:39:13 I certainly hope so. Well, as do we. Did the marathon come from Burger Confidence at the time? Like, is that why you suggested it? The most ultimate. You seem to be thinking that it's one marathon. I committed to three in a week. It was the ultimate moment of burger confidence.
Starting point is 00:39:28 I was laying down. I was like, you know, I could do three marathons in a week. I think I could just do this. I think I'd be good at this. We haven't done a decent bet in a while with you because they're so outrageous. Like the million game score. We got some in the works. We got some in the works.
Starting point is 00:39:44 I don't does anyone remember three marathons in a week that's what it was I committed I committed to three not one three
Starting point is 00:39:54 I don't remember that we haven't even been able to get you close to doing one third of your challenge yeah you guys keep talking about one three
Starting point is 00:40:02 I said I'd do three we'll settle for one. That's a new level of competition. That's way higher than the 50 burgers. That's like, Andrew, what if we split the difference and you only have to do like one and a half or two? Okay, well, you want to know where it came from? There's a reason why I thought I could do this.
Starting point is 00:40:20 I was watching some random thing on that. Eddie Izzard ran like 28 and 30 days without training and I was like I could do three in a week Eddie Izzard could do 28 30 days not a lot of prep easy I got this then I stood up and my ankle I was already dealing with ankle sores at the time I made this declaration while in bed got up was a little sore I thought I'd be fine I'll bounce back soon. It's been an up and down road with the ankle since that moment.
Starting point is 00:40:49 But yeah, it was. It's amazing how influential monkeys and Eddie Izzard are on your life. In what way? You learned how to skateboard from a monkey. Well, I learned is a strong word. Attempted. You've been inspired so much in your life,
Starting point is 00:41:02 I feel like by, well, now Eddie Izzard, but Monkeys. I'm an influenced man. Yeah. I thought I could ski because of James Bond. I've had many moments. Everybody has influences in their life. I have a billion. It's just interesting to see where yours come from.
Starting point is 00:41:17 I had someone come up to me, Jack, super fan Jack, came up to me at work this week and just yelled, How did you let him get away with it and i was like what are you talking about he's like andrew just pivoted the 500 000 gamer score bet into some golden i bet and you were just like okay and i was thinking about it i was like oh because i was right because i was correct that's why that's why that happened but you could that's actually doable the 500 $500,000. But I think the goal, and we went over this. We don't need to go over this again.
Starting point is 00:41:49 I don't think it would be that interesting a content. I don't know how I'd make it into a thing. And it would just be me throwing money at it. You can make anything content. Yeah, but not on purpose. Just use Eric's credit card. No, it's not even a cost thing. It's just, it's not, there's no, I just throw money at it.
Starting point is 00:42:04 I just do a money thing. That's just, it's not, there's no, I just throw money at it. I just do a money thing. That's not fun. I understand what Andrew's saying. Having done a gamer score bet in the past to great success. Andrew, actually, you participated in, now that I think about it. I think you helped me get some left for dead achievements in that gamer score bet I did. It is just a, it's just a money. You really can't just solve that problem with money.
Starting point is 00:42:24 He's right. It doesn't feel like a real bet. Just because there's too many just solve that problem with money. He's right. It doesn't feel like a real bet. Just because there's too many thousand points. There's so many. I had somebody message me a game that you could get 20,000 points in in five minutes. Oh. I was having people read.
Starting point is 00:42:37 That's why I was like, this seems really doable in a shitty way. And if I was going to do this, I'd just throw money at it and they're not even that expensive i i mean i remember that being your reason i just i i just miss you doing bets i mean i miss you i that's why we just did the alphabet we just did did he though jeff did andrew did i bet you know what that's a good question. This seems like a great... Was it hard for him to do pizza and pineapple and pancakes and potato patties? The most recent episode that released to the public as our discussion around the alphabet,
Starting point is 00:43:17 the results, the controversy around the evidence that I did not, in fact, rig the machine to give me a pee. I don't know if there are people claiming that I gave Jeff a U on purpose. There's no rigging at all. But this does seem like a good time to make a confession. Oh.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Before you make the confession, I just want to say real fast, Eric pointed out that a marathon is 55,000 steps. I bet, what do you think you could do faster, walk a marathon or write down a pencil? Write down a pencil. What do you think you could do better? Walk 55,000 steps or write
Starting point is 00:43:53 55,000 things? Write 55,000 things. Okay. Now admit to cheating. Well, listen. Cheating is a strong word. I'm an honorable man. That episode just came up.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Since when? Since probably episode 22 of this show. Whenever I became a judge. I don't know. You said that with a straight face, I bet. Oh, I always say with a straight face. It's the truth. It's the truth.
Starting point is 00:44:24 I'm an honorable man. I'm an honorable... What was it, honorjudge.com? Free plug. I'm an honorable man. And someone in the comics. I posted a lot of evidence regarding a lot of things, and it seems very mixed. Some people are on my side.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Some people think I cheated it. This confession has absolutely nothing to do about that because I'm an honorable man. I didn't rig the machine at all. I'm an innocent man. I'm a free man. I did not do anything wrong. But there is a Reddit post that was fantastic. I need to own up to this. I don't even know what the consequences are
Starting point is 00:44:58 if there are any. But Reddit user Archery Contest posted I don't remember the title of the post. Andrew has reached the agreement. It's the title. Opened it up. In that episode, I said all of my sports teams are trash.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Oh, yes. All of my teams are trash. Yes. It's an outlawed word. I use the trash word. I have to use rubbish. I have lost the ability to say trash. We need to check the tapes.
Starting point is 00:45:27 I do not know what the consequences of making such an error. I apologize. I hope the audience can forgive me for my slip. How many times do you think you misused rubbish and trash? Oh, probably countless times.
Starting point is 00:45:39 Here's what we're going to do, though. We're going to count this one. We're going to call it your first strike in language law face you get three strikes and then it's a marathon so you've got one strike if you say trash two more times you've got to walk a marathon i like that okay deal and how long does he have to complete the marathon after the final strike shut the fuck shut up he's as long as long as it takes as long as it takes me as it takes. As long as it takes me to write 45,000. As long as it takes me to write rubbers 45,000 times with a pencil.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Okay. I'll accept those terms. Right. With pencil. A pencil. Right. Right. Like not not digital.
Starting point is 00:46:18 We're talking physical. Okay. Okay. I'm going to write the 45,000 words. That sounds fair. When is the. Can I get one last one in without getting a strike in like a grace period
Starting point is 00:46:28 okay that's rubbish that sounds great that sounds appropriate that sounds like natural like hey I wanted to deal with this at the top of the hour but then I just realized we're fucking 45 minutes in somehow. I was going to address this right out of the gate.
Starting point is 00:46:51 But in a somber, serious note, I feel like we should talk about it because it's public knowledge now. And I'm going to apologize now if I cry at all. I'm going to try real hard not to. But in the most recent episode that came out of F*** Face 124, I mentioned that Henry had gone to the hospital and he was okay. Unfortunately, he died a couple days later.
Starting point is 00:47:18 And I always considered Henry to be an official member of F*** Face. Definitely. I thought he brought a hell of official member of face. Definitely. I thought he brought a lot, a hell of a lot of joy to what we did. It was really, it was really, it was,
Starting point is 00:47:34 it was, it was really sad. He, he didn't suffer. It was, it was, if there's such a thing as a good death, it was a really,
Starting point is 00:47:41 really good death. He, he, he died in bed with us while we held him and he was happy but uh he didn't he didn't squeak much for the last i don't know six months or so and i just kind of didn't talk about it he just wasn't really able to play much anymore he had some mobility issues but i want the audience to know that until he died, Henry was still in the room every episode of F*** Face. He would crawl or walk in.
Starting point is 00:48:10 He couldn't play. He couldn't make the noise that he used to. But he would come and he would sit next to me. And he knew every time I was recording F*** Face that it was time to go to work. And he, without fail until the end, he came and he sat here and he went through every episode of F*** Face with us uh he he you may not have known he was there but he was and so um emily and i talked about a lot about like what how to what to do about it um on this and i even you know we even joked around about maybe
Starting point is 00:48:38 doing like a one last squeak for him i kept owl owl and i kept uh well i've kept my favorite toys that he had i kept puss Puss and Owl Owl. And they're on the shelf next to me. But that seems silly and I don't want to do that. I do think it's pretty facey that we are making a squeaky dog toy that he will never squeak. Because it's not going to come in.
Starting point is 00:48:57 It's not going to come in until well after his death. But a lot of people have sent well wishes to Emily and me. And I just wanted everybody to know that Henry did pass away, but he was five days short of 12, which is like 104 years old in Bulldog terms. And so their life expectancy is like eight years. And so he made it 50% more than that. And so anyway, I don't want to bring the mood down too much, but Henry did pass away
Starting point is 00:49:25 last week, and so I thought people should know. So he made a solid 125 episodes with us. Yeah, he did. He made it 125 episodes. The first 125 episodes are the Henry episodes. I'd love to know how many, how much squeaking
Starting point is 00:49:41 we have. If somebody compiled all the squeaks, how long of squeaks would we have like if you just edit off the beginning and the end of the squeak like how long is this a sustained do we have enough squeak to last what would be an episode length across the time because there were some great squeaks by henry he had some extended squeaks i feel like we all got used to the squeaks and there were the rare occasion squeaks where we all just had to pause while he really squeaked it out and you know what
Starting point is 00:50:08 we should make an album or something that's just the squeaks that's so cute you know it'd be funny that too I'm sure Nick could speak to this but Henry squeaked a lot more than made it on air because when you guys are talking and Henry's squeaking,
Starting point is 00:50:26 I think Nick probably just flattens out my audio. So you probably can't hear most of the actual squeaks that were going on. Yeah, I think you can only hear Henry when Jeff's talking. Which is why half the time, especially in those early days, when I wasn't following conversations and I'd be like, I'm honest, I tuned out.
Starting point is 00:50:40 It's because the squeaking was so goddamn loud sometimes I couldn't focus on both. I watched a cut of, I think we all saw it today uh regulation animation and it's the go go now story which is it's it's animated so well it's all really good i turned it up really loud to show my wife i'm like oh hey watch this it's it's pretty funny the squeaking I didn't realize How much squeaking there is in that store Jeff you're talking the whole time and it is Constant in the background it is so it is so loud, and it's just being animated And we're so used to it. They're like we'll share to someone and they're like what's the squeaky? Oh, yeah? Yeah, don't worry about We'll show it to someone and they're like, what's the squeaking?
Starting point is 00:51:24 We're like, oh yeah, don't worry about it. I like that he's transferred into another medium. Yeah, I'm glad that all those squeaks are captured. I want to know what our first reaction to the squeaks were. When was the first squeak? I've got a lot of questions about the lore of Henry. It is funny. It became a natural thing so quickly that yeah i can't remember when it began it was yeah it was sort of just always there yeah i remember finding out when you told us
Starting point is 00:51:52 the names of the toys of owl owl and puss puss and then finding out was is puss puss an octopus yeah of course of course of course. Of course. Of course Puss Puss is an octopus. I would have assumed platypus. I see where you're going with octopus. I would be thinking platypus. Yeah, that's true. I don't associate that with cat as much, but you're not wrong.
Starting point is 00:52:19 No, he's a little blue octopus. He's a cutie. Yeah. He's looking at me right now, actually. That's terrible. Well, if people have henry fun facts that we've talked about i'd love to see them yeah he was a good guy he uh he was a really good guy he really he really took his job on face seriously like it i would try to like on days when i wasn't feeling the squeaks, I would try to sneak away from them, you know,
Starting point is 00:52:46 leave them asleep on the bed in the other side of the house in the bedroom and then shut the door, which doesn't lock or anything. It's just like saloon doors. So they just shut and then like try to be quiet and like clockwork. That little motherfucker, we'd be like three minutes in and the doors go, bam,
Starting point is 00:53:03 open. And Henry would be here with like a fucking ball in his mouth ready to go to town he witnessed the whole bean hole he did he was there for all of the bean hole too that's right yeah he was watching over it oh wow what a cutie anyway so
Starting point is 00:53:16 yeah we gotta get on that pizza cause Emily is getting ready to fucking is that the next fuckface office day could it be pizza yeah the next the next office day? Could it be pizza? Yeah. The next office day is next week. Which day? Oh no.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Wednesday? Why are you laughing? Did you already tell me? Because it's I sent the invite, I don't know how long ago, but it is Wednesday at 1pm next week. No problem. Eric's on the air, I don't know how long ago, but it is Wednesday at 1 p.m. next week. No problem. Eric's on the end, so I'm not going to counter that with anything.
Starting point is 00:53:50 I'll see you at 1 o'clock on Wednesday, Eric. Uh-huh, uh-huh. There is nothing scarier than hearing Gavin say, What day? Uh-huh. Did I miss the... You know, I wouldn't even go there. Yeah, what?
Starting point is 00:54:06 Go where? Where is there to go? No, no, no, no, no, no. It's okay. Everything's okay. I'm not going there. Don't worry. The only place I'm going is Jeff's house on Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Could, uh... Oh, you're here, Eric. Where did the goose land? What, what, second base? Was it in the pitcher? No, it was like in it was in like shallow outfield I don't remember uh yeah it was like it was like between first and second base yeah closer to second base maybe uh 15 feet 30 feet behind second second base yeah so I don't
Starting point is 00:54:40 I don't watch a lot of baseball I did watch the Mets Padres series. And there was a fantastic scandal during, I think, game three. Yes. Yeah, correct. Yeah. Late in game three, there was an accusation that the pitcher had Vaseline his ears. I'm assuming was the substance that they thought they were accusing. And then there were all these close ups. I don't was this.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Is this something that happens regular in baseball? Because it was a great moment they were zooming in on his ears and how glistening they were and there were all these talks about like what's going on with the ears it's going on then he like kind of rubbed his ears and felt like oh is he trying to hide something what's going on with these ears and then like all of the officiating crew got together which is like five or six guys all talking about this other man's ears and then they talked to the team about it and then eventually they rubbed down his ears to check if there is it was a ridiculous scene so i was just curious if maybe padres upping their game brought vaseline via the goose in no as a possibility that's a great idea to have some
Starting point is 00:55:42 kind of goose delivery mechanism to your pitcher so you can cheat. Like nobody would see a big goose handing something to your pitcher and taking off again. Maybe it was actually goose fat and that was like a hint to it. Could have been. Could have been. Oh, interesting. I think it was icy hot to keep him uncomfortable and focused. But they checked him in the sixth inning.
Starting point is 00:56:04 But the manager for the Mets was suspicious from the very first pitch. So he waited for his team to be losing for six innings to go, something's wrong here. I gotta be honest. I watched that entire game too. And I was up at Emily's families in Michigan. And from the first inning,
Starting point is 00:56:21 I was on the couch going to Emily going, what is wrong with his fucking ears? They're glowing. The rest of his body is dry and his ears are dripping. It is so weird. And so then when they approached him on the sixth inning and I was like, oh shit, I guess at least I'm not the only
Starting point is 00:56:36 one that thinks these ears things, the ear thing is weird. However, even if it was Vaseline, that doesn't help a pitcher. Pitchers want sticky shit. They want to scuff up a ball. They want to smooth it out. Supposedly it is icy hot, like Eric was saying. And I guess a lot of pitchers do that because it keeps
Starting point is 00:56:52 them alert and uncomfortable. And so they're always focused. Did you hear about Roger Clemens in Tokyo? No. He wasn't feeling it. It was like an opening to a season or whatever, and he wasn't really feeling it. And they had sent these teams to Tokyo
Starting point is 00:57:07 to kind of like get ready and play and everything. And Jake Peavy, a Padres pitcher, was talking about going with him. And Roger Clemens was there and got a full body massage in Icy Hot, his whole body, his entire body, in Icy Hot to like wake him up and get him uncomfortable and then told jake peavy when i'm on the mound i don't like being comfortable because when you're
Starting point is 00:57:34 comfortable you make mistakes took a handful of icy hot and rubbed it on his dick and balls so there's a rich tradition of this in Major League Baseball. Baseball players are weird, but we're all happy about the goose at least. Should we all do that before the next recording? Oh my God, no. Icy hot on my balls in Achievement Hunter that day
Starting point is 00:57:59 and it was brutal. I don't want to do that again. But I will. I'm comfortable enough to make a really good episode. No, I got a great idea. It's an excellent point. Why don't we all do that again. But I will. I'm comfortable enough to make a really good episode. No, I got a great idea. It's an excellent point. Why don't we all pick a series of numbers, and then I will pull one from the machine,
Starting point is 00:58:10 and whoever gets pulled has to do it. I see how that involves. I can see no issues with this. Yeah, this is a random system in which no way could be influenced or messed with, because I am an honorable man. You're going to have a 4K streaming webcam
Starting point is 00:58:28 live. Or we could just all do it. I'm also open to that. This all happened because you didn't put on pants. You understand that, right? No, yeah. You're right. You're not wrong about that. If it was a one in four chance, Eric, of your name being pulled, would you go in on it?
Starting point is 00:58:46 For the icy hot cock? No, I don't think I would because I don't trust it. I mean, there's no way if he was rigging it that he would pick you. I just don't trust that it would... I think it's all or nothing. I think the idea is that being agitated will make us operate at a higher level of play.
Starting point is 00:59:05 I like this idea. Let's do this. It's like all or nothing. I will say. We've got to live the life of a pitcher. Supposedly that pitcher, whose name escapes me, he was throwing a solid two miles an hour faster than his fastest pitch. He was throwing two miles an hour faster than his average.
Starting point is 00:59:21 Average. And supposedly, what do they measure? Like RPMs or something on pitch yeah right yeah revolutions per minute spin rate and stuff and they were going spin rate was off the charts but but it was all just above his average do you know how an average is formed no no i understand that i understand that i'm just saying i'm not saying the guy cheated i'm saying there were clear benefits to using icy hot yeah he's he's, he's fine. And you can use icy hot. It is not a banned substance for a pitcher.
Starting point is 00:59:47 So put it all over your dick and balls and go crazy. Maybe if we icy hot, our dick and balls, our jokes per minute will go up. That's what I'm saying. Do you, do you think that if you put icy hot on your dick and balls, you could throw 80 miles an hour?
Starting point is 01:00:01 No, no, but maybe I could tell 80 jokes an hour. I don't know are we doing there we locked in next episode next recording i'm in i'm in everybody's gonna do it too really performance he's gotta do it he's nick nick are you gonna do it thank god i don't talk i mean if we're gonna do it we can do just going to be, okay, let's do it. Oh, Nick says I'll do it if you do.
Starting point is 01:00:27 Oh, my God. Oh, okay. There we go. Oh, shit. All right. Episode 127 is going to be. It's going to be icy hot. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:35 It's going to be. We're going to operate above our average. And we always do. Am I coming in hot? Oh, no. I think we should apply. Do I apply during the. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Oh, I agree. I think at the top of the episode we apply and that sounds good oh we'll have like how do we here's okay i have questions about this then okay um how do how do we keep each other honest a 4k system it has no is an honor system. It has... No! On to what? The 4K webcam on to what? Dude, I shoved an icicle
Starting point is 01:01:11 up my ass during an episode. Like, this is not outside of the realm of things you should be able to believe I would do.
Starting point is 01:01:17 I've done it on camera in Achievement Hunter. Gavin was there. Like, you don't have to worry about me. Yeah, and there's no point
Starting point is 01:01:23 in faking something like that. No. I want to be part of this experience. I think we'll keep ourselves honest. Okay. Here's what I'll say. If anybody here fakes it and it doesn't go all in,
Starting point is 01:01:38 they're just going to have to live with that knowledge for the rest of their lives knowing they didn't fully share in the experience. And it's definitely not a face move if you don't do it. Yeah. It's also going to be noticeable because they're going to be way less funny than everybody else.
Starting point is 01:01:52 We're all going to be on the top of our game. We're going to be on fire. Everyone else is going to be engaged and locked in. If you're not part of that, you're gonna get left in the dust. So we're promising episode one 27 is going to be the funniest episode of this. I guess, yeah. Yeah, we are. Or we're
Starting point is 01:02:10 confirming that it does nothing. The Icy Hot doesn't work. We're taking this into the lab. Here's what we can do. Here's what we can do. Oh, Jesus Christ. If it's going poorly and it doesn't feel like the funniest episode. No. There is a story i told you
Starting point is 01:02:28 guys about three weeks ago but between episodes face that i did to myself that i thought was too gross to tell on camera yes and i think gavin agreed i said no eric agreed gavin disagreed and I don't remember where Gavin and I both agreed that it was appropriate for that it worked and Eric I think let's not be let's not get it wrong it's a horrendous story but it is disgusting and gross and it's Eric was Eric was fully
Starting point is 01:02:58 against it but I recommended maybe we just save that for a live event okay well I'm just gonna say if things are going badly I can break the glass and pull that story out and try in some way to tell it that doesn't make me seem like a monster. I would also like to point out that there were a few people,
Starting point is 01:03:11 a few comment leavers, who thought it was too far when we all whinnied the poodle and hung our genitals out for about a minute. So if you felt that way, you're not going to enjoy next week. No.
Starting point is 01:03:22 No, you're not. Yeah, that's true. Give it a miss. Am I doing a patch? Am I going with the foam? Or roll-on or whatever. I have all of it. I assumed I would lather up the hands in the cream.
Starting point is 01:03:37 I'm going to just go to town. I don't think I want to patch that area. I would not patch it. That would be bad. I would either get the roll-on, which seems like a lot. Just get the cream. The cream makes sense. That could be bad. I would either get the roll on, which seems like a lot. Just get the cream. The cream makes sense.
Starting point is 01:03:49 Just get the cream. I'm on DoorDash right now. I'm just looking to see what options I have. Can you leave a note and make sure they know it's for your balls so you can make the funniest episode of a podcast? Oh, and do we care about brand? Like, I have Tiger Bomb. I was going to use Tiger Bomb.
Starting point is 01:04:08 I think it's stronger than Icy Hot anyway, but if you need me to get Icy Hot brand, Icy Hot I can. I don't think it matters. I think we should have a consistent... I just have Tiger Bomb Ultra already here because I fucking... You want to put something called Tiger Bomb Ultra
Starting point is 01:04:22 on your dick and balls. Yeah, it'll be way worse, I think, than Icy Hot. I feel like we're all about to start doping before the next game. Like, that's how we're treating this. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I could get the Ointment Ultra Strength. It's got a tiger on it because it's Tiger Bomb.
Starting point is 01:04:37 All right, we'll get the same stuff. Tiger Bomb's a serious, serious deal. Are we going to get a Tiger Bomb? I guess we're getting Tiger Bomb. Does this clear legal, by the way? Yeah, yeah, legal, yeah. I just asked. Legal said it's fine.
Starting point is 01:04:49 They also don't know we exist, so it's okay. Oh, great. Yeah. I think the only other thing to discuss before we go is are the banana wipes done? No.
Starting point is 01:05:00 No, absolutely not. I still got time. I got everything organized. It's all ready to go what percentage done is it yeah what what percentage did i see last time does anyone remember what i said last question andrew have you touched it since the last time we talked like physically touched or like i've done some mental work i've done some i've thought about some transitions it's all up here yeah it's all up here. Yeah. It's all up here. It's all up there.
Starting point is 01:05:26 I actually, I need to reach out to somebody on Facebook. I'm getting the sense that we should probably end because we're over an hour. But I do, I also had a piece of news that I thought I would talk about today, but we had such a lovely conversation. But I did, I did, I did a thing in Michigan and I kind of fucked, I did a thing in Michigan, and I kind of fucked... I did it, so it was definitely a fuckface in a lot of ways. So I don't know if you guys want to cover it next week, or if you want to...
Starting point is 01:05:53 I can bang out the story now, but I did propose to my girlfriend, and she did eventually say yes. Eventually? Congrats. Thanks. It was... You know, I fuckfaced faced it let's just say that
Starting point is 01:06:07 are we doing with the teaser this is a teaser that's all okay well i just say like yeah i kind of i kind of fucked up the proposal but in a very mean way and i'm very excited to hear that and i'll tell you this too i didn't i'm gonna send you let me send you two photos real fast because my friend kent pointed this out to me. The place where I proposed, completely unintentionally, and I didn't realize it until I saw the photos, kind of horrified me, actually.
Starting point is 01:06:35 I'm sorry, I'm vamping while I try to find these photos. You might recognize it, Gavin, especially. Well, I guess, Andrew, you would too. it Gavin especially well I guess Andrew you would too this is where I proposed because I thought it would be really
Starting point is 01:06:51 romantic and it's this place in Mackinac Island called Arch Rock wow okay and my friend Kent pointed out to me that this is actually where I proposed you proposed on the silent contour And my friend Kent pointed out to me that this is actually where I proposed.
Starting point is 01:07:09 You proposed on the side of a cartographer? What I've posted is a picture of this place called Arch Rock in Michigan where I proposed. And under it is a screenshot from Randall Glass's Warthog Jump video, which is honestly the inspiration for Rooster Teeth in our career, probably, is that we watched that video, Gus and I, and we got really excited about Halo physics. I proposed to my girlfriend in the real-life representation of a level of Halo 1 in Silent Card Harder.
Starting point is 01:07:38 That was not intentional. That was like that time I bought a bicycle and then Gavin pointed out that it was the Achievement Hunter color and I never wrote it again. That video was so iconic that i remember the first thing i thought when i saw that video is how am i watching a video of like an xbox like it was that early that's how do you record an xbox and put it on the internet how does that while it's still a phenomenal video if you ever get a chance to see it he does a bit
Starting point is 01:08:03 where he blows up the warthog it goes really high in the air and then he shoots a rocket predictably into it i thought it was the coolest shit when i was like 13 oh yeah gus and i would just spend friday nights just in the living room trying to recreate everything he did and that's how and that's how we learned how to get like the tank on the base and all that dumb physics stuff we did in roostertea in early days rev versus blue it Blue, it was all it all came from Randall's video. He was in season one. Yeah, he actually, he was the original, I don't know, not to get off on a Rooster Teeth tangent, but
Starting point is 01:08:31 we liked it so much we became friendly with him because it was so kind of inspirational and informative that he was the original character or voice actor for the character Vic in Rooster Teeth. I keep saying Rooster Teeth in Red vs. Blue. And then I think Bernie didn't have enough voices.
Starting point is 01:08:50 And so he took that one. Bernie needed to voice yet another character. So he took over in season two. When was the last time you spoke to Randall Glass? Oh, it's probably been a decade. How about you? Never. Oh, really? He's nice, nice dude um i mean he was i assume
Starting point is 01:09:08 he still is but yeah i probably haven't talked to him in a decade i did talk to bernie the other day though still talk to him anyway we should probably wrap up uh be sure to tune in next week for what promises to be the funniest episode in the history of face. It's going to be so bad. Should we stop posting that on socials as if it's real? Like it's an event. Dude, the ears, they don't look real. Eric just posted a picture of the ears.
Starting point is 01:09:42 They look like wax ears. Those are not standard ears. Bye. Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Jeff has even more mouth problems. How would you make a waffle at your desk? Panton is at
Starting point is 01:10:02 it again. Seriously, what is wrong with Jeff's mouth? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.

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