F**kface - Beef Not Beef Draft

Episode Date: August 9, 2026

No hamburger in this draft but the steaks are high. Wait. The stakes are high. Who wins this draft centered around some folks that want to make mince meat out of each other? Let us know which beefs got missed and who had the strongest list. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another piece of supplemental regulation content. We're doing a draft today. It is the beef, not beef draft. No one wants to take credit for this idea. I would take credit for it if it was mine. All I know is it's not my idea. I don't know who. I thought it was Nick.

Everyone else said Gavin. Gavin swears it's not him. Maybe it was Andrew, but somebody explained the damn thing. Andrew, who's draft idea do you think this was? I saw this suggested in a coffee news. So that's, I think it's, uh, probably a copy. All right, all right. I'm thinking it's an Andrew draft idea.

Why is Andrews so quiet? Is it? No, I don't think it's quiet. I'm going to fix it for Gavin. Let's see. The funniest thing Gavin could have said right now. How about now? What about now?

That's way better. There we go. I don't know what this drops about. It's a beef, beef draft. Were you distracting just to call attention to that? Who me? Hand gesture. Jeff, you ready for this one?

As I understand. Once again, not a Jeff idea. Didn't come up with this one. Could have sworn it was Nick. Nick says no. Nick says no. But as I understand it, beef not beef. Not as in like, I mean, I guess you could take it literally and say like a portobello

mushroom is beef not beef. That's true. Like an impossible burger. That's also true. Those are two things. But I kind of got the impression that the idea was like not the, not the eaty beef, but like people fight and feud. Yeah.

Feudin beef. Nick said yes. to his idea. So this is good. Well, I guess there's a lot of beefs that we can have here, including doing this draft and whose idea it was,

but we need to figure out the order that we go in. Of course, we start in an egg order, dilly pot, baby face, a little skeddy, candy man and trigger man. But we must randomize to see what draft order we go in the snake draft.

Guys, how many times are we drafted? How many, what? How many what was your question? I was going to say, how many different rarities of a steak is there? Blue, rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, well done. Six, six, let's do six. Andrew, do you agree with six?

Okay. One, two, three, four, Jesus, five. That was Nick. It was not Nick. Are you sure that's not what the smell was? Five is Nick, Andrew, Jeff, Eric Gavin. No. But here's six.

Give me one. Eric. Oh. That's not for. First, Gavin, Jeff, Andrew, Nick, boys. It's the other one. Feeling good. I don't feel good about this at all.

Six is what it is. Again, we're using Sean Bear's website. Thank you so much. Thank you, Sean Bear, for making this website that we use all the time for our drafts. You can use it yourself and make your own drafts with your own names. That's up to you. But this is what we have here.

And guys, how are you feeling about what you can draft? You feeling good? I'm good about my board hating this placement. I'm nervous. Now, I wanted to draft, I have my board and everything, and I wanted to draft the initial beef of whose idea was this because, boy, you guys are beefing about this. But I think I'm just going to stick to my board.

And I'm going to start with, okay, I'm going to start with 50 cent and ditty. Oh. Off the rip. What a great beef. It's been happening recently. You know, a lot of beef. can go back a long time. And this one does.

Not a lot of love between these two guys. But 50 Cent got to a point where he didn't want anything to do with Diddy. And this was before all of the Diddy stuff happened. Diddy goes to jail? 50 Cent does the interview on TV airing everything out. And everyone's like, oh my God, that's crazy. He did it. So it's on like the only channel that you can watch in prison so Diddy can see it.

And what I'm thinking is that it. It was not so much for Diddy to see, but maybe everyone else in the prison that's there with Diddy. That is beefing on a whole nother level. As a hater myself, I'm such a big fan of the way 50 Cent aired out his Diddy Laundry here. And did Diddy wrong? Good. Hall of Fame. Classic Feudster.

Also have a huge long-running feud with Floyd Mayweather. That's true. Could be on somebody else's board. Yeah. Could be picked up. But 50 cent Diddy is one for me. And you don't, I'm sure Diddy didn't like 50 a lot. I feel like you didn't hear that a lot from Diddy,

but maybe he should have said it a little bit more to flash the hater spotlight out there. What would 50 cents name be now if he started his stage name now if you adjust for inflation? Dollar? 78, 78 cents? Yeah, 78 cents. So dollar buck? You think his name would be dollar, but. Probably like Dollar Bill.

You think his name would be Dollar Buck? Dullo William. I like Dollar Buck. Yeah. Well, Dollar Buck and Dic. Dollar Buck, blood on the sand. It still works. It still works.

But that's my pick for Beef, not Beef to start it out. Again, could have picked you guys in this whole whose idea was this. But it's fine. Gavin, Gavin, it's your turn for your first pick. Well, I'm not sure if this was a longstanding beef, but it certainly was for a single game and it's probably the most regulation beef there is. Don Zimmer versus Pedro

Martinez. Gavin! That's a great pick, man. That's a great pick. It's a really great pick. I'm super impressed with that one. I don't get this, he said. Came out with the

fucking best pick of the draft probably. That's a good one, man. So good. What made you think of that? I was trying to imagine two people quite angry at each other. Now, what's interesting about the Zimmer Pedro thing is, I don't know if two people were angry at each other. One certainly was. One certainly was.

Maybe a little bit of a one-sided beef here. I don't know, Pedro's kind of a famous hot ed. Yeah, I'm sure he got mad in the moment. You've got to be somewhat mad to push a hat into someone's arms. Well, you got a little 80-year-old bowling ball charge. It looks so dense. That's a great. That's a great pick.

I didn't even cross my mom. No, I don't know how I didn't think of that. Me neither. Oh, yeah, I was really happy to be first. I guess because it's like, when I think a beef, I think a mileage a lot of the time. And there's not a lot of mileage. I mean, it was a high mile per hour on that run.

But I agree. Beef, mileage. Yeah, longevity. Yeah. Yeah, I thought it made a lot of sense. Okay. It's more of a drag race than a NASCAR race. Quarter mile over real fast.

Okay, well, Gavin, you got it on the board. But next up is Jeff. Jeff, you can't take either one of these. What do you got? I'm going to go back to the beginning of our country, early American roots. I'm going to one of probably the most iconic. Now this, once again, American specific, one of the most iconic beefs in our country. history's rich history. I'm going with, and it's also familial for me because I married into the

family. I'm going with the original, the Hatfield and the McCoy feud, which was a decades-long violent feud between two Appalachian families, and they're not exactly sure why or where it began. It was either something civil war related, not sure about that. It could relate to a stolen hog in 1878 or a romantic affair between Rosanna McCoy and Johnsy Hatfield. Either way, it lasted forever, and even my wife is not crazy about the McCoys. Who stole whose Hulk? It's a great question. I don't know.

I bet both sides have a very different opinion on it. Is Emily an actual descendant? Yes, she is a part. Wow, really? Oh, I thought it was a coincidence. I didn't know that. No, no, no, no, it's not, it's a direct lineage. She's related to that John Zee Hatfield, dude.

That's crazy. Yeah. Wow. Just imagine her watching the Eagles being very upset with the Sean McCoy, not liking a single thing he's doing. It's like you were in the room with us, man. That's crazy. Wow.

Hey, you're going old school with this one. I went pretty recent. You went really old school. Well, you know, I figure you think about longstanding, you think about mileage. It's true. You know? It's true. Andrew, you can sort of set a tempo here.

We're kind of all over the place and we'll see where you take it next because you have your first pick. I'm so glad that this didn't get taken. This is a very important one to me. talking about beefs as old as time itself. I'm going with a beef so strong they had to make a trilogy about it. My beef is cats and dogs.

Somebody who doesn't own a dog or has never owned a dog when I see people that have cats and dogs I have friends who have cats and dogs, I'm like, how did you do it? How did you get these things to coexist? because every piece of media I've seen about it, they can't stand each other.

They hate each other. They're beefing. They're trying to sabotage one another. Often the cats portrayed as the villains. Great movies. Oh, wow, that sounds like it's sticking in your craw, man. And just a thing of somebody who has never actually owned a dog. Captivated, blown away by the peacekeeping ability of so many people, it seems online.

I've had cats and dogs. you're amazing how do you do it the beef is so strong how did you get them fine yeah most of the time it's okay yeah they don't really care no they don't that's what I'm but based off of the media

that I've seen unbelievable I can't imagine wow yeah I mean mostly the cat doesn't care the dog wants to play the cat walks away the cat comes back everyone lays down

cats and dogs um okay what is the movie that you dropped in there cats and dogs Oh, the movie Cats and Dogs. Yeah. They're talking there. It's a screenshot.

Cats and Dogs 3. I didn't see that one. That one went straight to DVD. First one, Matthew Broderick, is it, I believe. Inspector Gadget? Inspector Gadget himself as a dog. Is he a dog or a cat in it? I think he's a dog.

Whoa. Pretty sure he's a dog. Well, cats and dogs, off the board, Nick, and I know that's going to fuck you up. Oh, I'm screwed. Yeah, so can't pick any of that. What do you have, Nick? Because you have two picks in a row.

It's your first pick and your second pick. I do. And I was thinking about the best way to handle a beef not beef draft. And in this instance, I want to go still related to food. But we're going with Black's barbecue versus Terry Blacks. Whoa. Wow. Wow, he's getting hyper-local.

Yeah. Well, for this one, yes. So if you don't know the story, Terry Black's family owned and operated Black's barbecue for over 90 years. years. He was working there. He and his son both worked there. They get a fax that says your services are no longer required from his parents. And then he gets pissed. His kids get pissed. They make their own restaurant. They'd opened it in Austin. They wanted to name it Blacks. They couldn't because they had a seasoned desist. Rename it Terry Blacks. They opened to 2013 in Austin. They had another one in Dallas. And now they're in Lockhart, basically across the street from the original Blacks

barbecue. Yep. And neither of those are the barbecue restaurant you want to eat at when you go to Lockhart. You want to go to Smitties or Kreitzis, but they are very good. But and so the beef, the two have beefed ever since. That's a great. It's a beef beef. And I really do like that. Because again, that is real hyper-local.

And if you live in Austin, it's one that you hear about, regardless of if you want to know about it or not, you're going to, I think, hear about it. I learned more than I knew. Yeah. That was fun. He learned more than he knew, folks. That is what he did. He did.

Andrew's still dropping pictures of cats and dogs? Is anybody else going hyper local food beef in Austin? No. I've got it on my list. Okay. Wow. This is exciting. It was going to be an honorable mention.

But before we get to your guys' picks, Nick actually has another pick as he kicks off the second round. Oh, sticking with my theme of food-based beefs. Pseo and Unbien, which is two restaurants in Seattle. Jesus Christ. A Cuban sandwich place. What? What is this?

What is he mean? It's beef. Are you familiar with this, Jeff? No. I thought he was going to go like Dan's and Frank. Yeah, right, right, right. No, I wanted to jump around. He's jumping around.

I'm jumping around. Tell us about the Seattle fight. Paseo opened in the 90s. It had to close and file for bankruptcy. New owners purchased everything except the original recipes. And then the sons of the original owners open another restaurant called NBN and used the original recipes. And the two have beefed ever since.

Have you eaten at either restaurant? Yeah. That's a... What side are you on for these beefs, Nick? That's a great question. Wow, that's such a good question. And what side are you on, Nick? Go ahead.

Food. Yeah, okay. Umbien. And for Austin, Blacks Barbecue. Wow. Andrew was just silently posting more pictures of cats and dogs. Yeah, no, he's been posting cats and dogs pictures in our Discord. You guys don't seem familiar with the franchise.

I just want to make sure you need it. Oh, no, we're familiar. I just don't think we care or like it. I'm familiar with it, but I've never seen it. What is wrong with that dog? He has like human eyes. That looks like Nick's dog. That looks like Otis.

Yeah. Well, Andrew, you can stop posting cats and dogs pictures, but you also can't pick Paseo and Unbien because that's off the board. So, what is your pick, Andrew, in his second round? Well, before I make my pick, I do need to update that Matthew Broderick is in fact not in cats and dogs. That was incorrect.

That was a miss sock remembering. Jeff Goldblum is a name. Goldblum is in it, apparently, and so is John Lovitz. So just had to clear that out. Oh, man. What made you think it was Broderick? I don't know. I just sort of the vibe, maybe, of...

The vibe. I think I got my Stuart Little crossed with my cats and dogs, potentially. He's not in Stuart Little. Yeah, he's the most Stuart Little. Maybe you were thinking of the 90s Godzilla? Are you thinking of the Lion King? Is it Michael J. Fox? Stuart Little?

Is he? You suck! Oh. Oh, well, Sir Little's not going to be on my board, so I wouldn't have had a chance to correct that. Are you thinking of Simba? I don't know. I'll have to look, maybe. It could be Simba.

Project X. I didn't see that one. That's a monkey, right? It is. Yeah. I feel like you wouldn't see it. But. God.

I don't have any specific B for relating to Matthew Project X. Or, I guess, really, any chimpanzee related B. have any Matthew Broderick beef at all. You don't got monkey beef. Yeah. I don't have monkey beef. Uh-huh. But this beef is some great beef.

This is some recent beef. This is some fresh beef. This was beef that fed for an entire summer. Fuck the song of the summer. I'm taking Kendrick Lamar versus Drake. That was an endless well of entertaining beef. There were new songs coming out left and right. Drake desperately trying to do anything to get

any sort of edge and failing. Wonderful. Wonderful times. So pretty one side. It was just, it was just, Drake getting his ass whipped over and over and over again

by Kendrick Lamar. It was great. It was a phenomenal, yeah, but what about this? And then seven knockouts worth of content from Kendrick Lamar

on every response. Incredible. It was incredible. Including a Super Bowl half-type show. Including a Super Bowl have, it just gave so many different forms of entertainment over that period.

at a time. It was phenomenal. It's true. Every day you would go to YouTube and there'd be a new disc track from Kendrick Lamar that was more impressive than the last. Yeah. It's just great. There was, there's non-stop drama. It was so much fun. I had a lot of good times. Would that be? And like, as a Canadian,

you were like pulling for Drake the whole time? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've never heard you make that noise. He's a big, the grassy fan. Now, I will say, that felt very real Yes, he made that noise. Oh boy. I was very conflicted when there was a Drake meal in Canada at McDonald's that included what was called a night spright, which was a blueberry spright.

It was very good, but I didn't want to support Drake. Didn't want to order. But now it's back. It was just outside of the Drake meal. I don't think so. And that is my pick. Stop posting cats and dogs. Stop.

Oh my God, Otis. I will see. At IKEA, we make a lot. things just for college life, like the Rosenmando blackout curtains in gray. They say you can't put a price on sleep, but we did for the low low price of $49.99. Why are you in my room? Shh, go back to sleep. You have a big exam tomorrow. Shop back to school at IKEA. Kendrick and Drake off the board, Jeff. I know that was your next. one. But, but you got to make a pivot here. What do you have instead?

My second beef is one that I've personally enjoyed for a long time. It's still going as far as I know. It highlights two individuals in entertainment, one of which I'm a tremendous fan of, who is kind of famous for having maybe more beef than anybody else in entertainment and longer standing beef than anyone else in entertainment, but has since quashed almost all of his beef with the exception of this one. I'm talking about Howard Stern and his beef with Jay Leno. Oh, yeah. Howard Stern hates Jay Leno. They used

to be friends. And the reason he hates Jay Leno is because stuttering John Melendez was a producer on the Howard Stern show and entertainer on the Howard Stern show. He got cast on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of here. When he got voted off, he got to go on the Jay Leno show as a guest

and talk about his experience. And for some reason, even though he's devoid of all talent, Yep. Jay Leno took a liking to him and hired him to be the announcer for the Tonight Show without having a conversation

with Howard Stern at any point to which Howard Stern became furious over. Oh, it's incredible. He was probably the... Like he had legendary feuds with Rosie O'Donnell, Billy Crystal, a lot of people. Nothing compared to this one. And Howard would just go on these turades

against Jay Leno who tried his damnedest to ignore it. And it, as far as I know, it's probably still going on. Well, it all worked out in the end, right? Because stuttering John Melendez did a really great job on the Tonight Show and they used him so, so much, right, Jeff? Yeah, something like that. Funny that those two fellows were fighting over a guy that neither of them wants anything to do with in 2026.

Pamela Anderson. Pamela Anderson. Tommy the sword. You're fighting to catch his face? I, I, more than any Howard Stern stuff, I can go back and listen to that era of when all of that stuff is happening with John, I can listen to it every day. Yeah. They eviscerate him and it is so deserved. And it is, it is phenomenal to listen to.

And the way Stern like lays into him, but then like stops doing. it and then it is such an unceremonious dumping of him at the end. Incredible. And man, he hated Jay Leno. It's so good. It's fascinating radio to listen to. It's the best.

And it goes on for, well, I mean, it goes on for years. But the area he's talking about, like, the juice of it is like, it's a really, really fun six-month window.

Oh, yeah. And Robin loves it. Robin's having the time of her life. She's always hated John. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have it. There you go. I think that's great.

I think it's a fantastic. I think it's a fantastic pick. Gavin, hello, hello, you have your next pick, second round. My next pick, a legendarily long feud. Longer than most human lifetimes at this point. It's Tom and Jerry. Oh! Wow, and you would have thought cats and dogs would have something,

but then here we are. Yeah, I felt like... Matthew Broder is quite generic. I think, I think Tom and Jerry is such a good pick. That is a, that's a big feud. I feel like people know it. I feel like they made a movie out of it. These guys didn't talk.

They're like, the physical comment. They talk sometimes in the movies, though. They do. They talk in the movies. And then I think the way they get around it is like, oh, you can talk. I can talk too. How can we never talked? And then like, that's it.

Sometimes in the old ones, Tom would kind of say something to the camera. I like when he would go, yeah. I like when he would do that. That was good. Thank you. Watch a lot of Tom and Jerry. Can we put on a pit of footage of Tom sitting in a frying pan or something and have that sound play?

Oh, yeah, we can have that. We can edit that. Edit that in the problem. Tom and Jerry is a really good pick. Jeff, how do you feel about the Tom and Jerry? I think it's a great pick. Gavin's killing it in this draft that he didn't understand. He gave me going,

and we told him, wait until we do it and then say, what is this? Because we can figure it out together. Tom and Jerry off the board. Sorry, Andrew. You can't take it. Yep. But it doesn't matter. Because I have my next two picks.

It's the last of the second round of the first of the third. And my pick, in fact, has already been mentioned. It's 50 cent Floyd Mayweather. Floyd Mayweather. Floyd Mayweather, a boxer worth so much money. Not anymore, apparently. No. Apparently he's blown at all.

Whoops. In what year was it? 2014, I think. 50 cent challenged Floyd Mayweather said, I will give $750,000 to a charity of your choosing Floyd Mayweather. If on camera, you can read one page of a Harry Potter book.

And then at one point, didn't he change? it to cat in the hat. He did. And he was, um, he really destroyed him. Uh, oh yeah. I think that that is an unforgettable thing for Floyd Mayweather. I feel like when you bring up Floyd Mayweather now, people are very quick to bring up the 50 cent feud because that is really stellar stuff. Yeah. Um, challenging a guy to three quarters of a million dollars to read one page of a Harry Potter book is, I mean, I think that was for the ice bucket challenge. I'm pretty sure that was for the ice bucket challenge.

And then he said, read one page of a Harry Potter book. That's the kind of beef that I like to see. That's my favorite kind of stuff. That's some good beef. Yeah. I thought, well, Jeff mentioned it earlier, and I went, oh, no, someone's going to take it. Yeah, I apologize for mentioning it. Once you said 50 cent, I didn't consider that he might show up multiple times.

Yeah. But obviously he could. Yeah. He might show up four times. You think so? Well, let's go to my third pick. I'd expect it'll be 50 cent. Jarl.

Ah, that's a good one. 50 cent Jarl rule do not like each other. 50 cent was told that he's the new king of New York for rap over Jarl rule who had it before. Jarl rule did not appreciate this. And the beef has been back and forth. Very public jabs making fun of Jarl rule. Is this pre-firefest or whatever that thing was? I think it's...

No, no, no, oh, this goes back way, way before that. And then... It was back when Jarl Rul still made music. Yeah. Now, hey, here's the thing. Jarl Rul still tours, Gavin. Did you know that? I did not.

In fact, at one show in Arlington, his first four rows sold out immediately. Gavin, do you know why they sold out immediately? He bought him? 50 cent called the venue, and he said, sell me the first four rows. And then he... He said, he took the tickets and then he said, let's see what kind of entertainer Jarl rule is now.

No one in the first four rows as Jarl rule performed in Arlington, Texas. Empty, empty first four rows. What a move. Phenomenal hater move by 50 cent. Oh, he's funny with his money. He's so good with this shit. He rocks. That's biggie, actually.

I love, I love. 50 cent, I love the haterness that he brings to his feuds because they are cutting in a different kind of way. So those are my 50 cent picks so far. Gavin, what do you have? It doesn't have to be 50 cent related, but what do you have for the third round here? Well, my third pick is beef, yeah, it is not beef. It's beef curtains.

What are beef? What? Yeah, Gavin. Yeah, Gavin. Yeah, Gavin. What are they? Hey, Gavin. Talk about beef curtains, actually.

Minge. He's, what? Bring to Labia. That's, yeah. Oh. The labia. Yeah. Oh, no, we talked about hot dog curtains.

That's a different thing. Like those bead doors you walk through, but they're a little hot dog stuff. It wasn't a labia thing. I'm fucking crying. No, that's something different. Well, there you have it. I'm now pulling from my original list. Gavin's third pick, beef curtains.

Off the board, as Eric would say, nobody else can pick it. Maybe pivot based on what Eric picked in his first pick. I'm just... What's your problem with it? I got no problem. It's great. It's yours, man.

Andrew. Andrew's posting. That's a cat in the mouse. It's more Tom and Jerry than it is anything else. You're not allowed to pick that. Gavin, Gavin, you pick beef curtains.

So, Jeff, you're not allowed to pick that. Hold on. Okay. We readjust. Yep. Okay. This next beef I have a full disclosure. I don't think is a publicly confirmed beef.

This is a beef implied. And it may be something that's flown under all of your radar, except for Gavin, who I think feels the exact same way about it as I do. I think there must be a very quiet, non-public, but relationship severing beef between Stephen Merchant and Ricky Jervais because they have never made another production again

since the life is short one. Is that what it was called? Yeah. Idiot abroad? I, idiot abroad. Was that after? It would have been hors d'oeuvre. I they made everything together

I feel like they barely mention each other but they have both been posting the same stuff about the 25th anniversary of the office well that's good is that right I think maybe they're not like on you know they're not not talking maybe the beef is squashing

yeah they haven't made anything together in well about two decades now and they've made a lot of stuff apart after and I think the separation of them and Carl Polkington was one of the saddest things of my lifetime yeah do you think that there's you think there's something there

Gavin or do you think it's just a thing where they went, we're moving on? Oh, I assume they want to move on and maybe Carl was done being an idiot. Did Pilkin? He learned too much? Pilking didn't suffer the most from that breakup? No, I think he was fine. Okay.

There you go. He didn't have to travel anymore. I think he's perfectly happy doing less. Yeah, that sounds right for him. I think that that's a good pick. It feels like there's some kind of beef. And I like that it's a mysterious beef. Yeah.

I would throw a little mysterious meat in there. Oh, very nice. We already have beef curtains, so we didn't really need that. But we do have a mystery around here on regulation. So, Andrew, won't you solve the mystery of what your third pick is? Well, I can't solve that mystery at this current time because I first need to solve the mystery of what Matthew Broderick movie I was thinking of, got my wires crossed.

I was actually thinking of, good boy came out around the same time as these other movies in which he plays talking. He just talking dog. He just found one. Is this anything to do with your pick? No, this is, I just had to clarify about what Matt's your brother. He's just trying to say face. It's like a subpluck.

He wasn't thinking. It's a subploid. Unrelated to cats, dogs, they don't play these things, but we do. It's a video game-based pick. I'm taking the console wars. Now I hate the people that interact in these. But back when companies were doing it to each other, oh boy, what a fun time. do what Nintendo don't, that's real stupid.

That's a really dumb thing. When companies of massive sizes are just beefing like children with each other, brings me so much joy. I recently watched the E3 presentation for PlayStation in like 2002, and they're talking about unit sales, and Kauzerai says, there's a place to see the competition, and it's in the rearview mirror.

And I was like, hell, yeah. This is dumb. I love this. I love this. shitty dumb nerd beef fighting. I'm taking the console wars. I think console wars is great. Fantastic. I had it on my list actually.

Yeah. I had great pick. Man. Oh, wow, it's on your list, huh? Yeah. Wow. I'm about to come up with a new four. Are you, are you bummed that you can't take it? No, I got like 20 more. Oh, okay, cool. Beef, not beef's like the easiest thing in the world to come up with.

Gavin, do you feel the same one? Oh, yeah. I can tell by the way you said it that you mean it. Nick, you are actually down to your final two here. Back to back. I remember, Nick, you can't pick Labia. That's a great pick. Well, we'll press onward.

And Jeff, prepare to lose another one because it's Jim's original and Express Grill. Two Chicago heavyweights. I'm going head to head. So stupid. Jim's original, which opened in 1939. Can I ask you a question?

Yeah, go on. What's your problem? I don't know, Mr. Beef Curtains. What's yours? I don't know. What do you mean? Nick, you can go through the history of these, but I have a question kind of when you're done.

Oh, yeah. It's Polish sausage sandwich place. Oh, okay. I think Eric and I have the same question. Yeah, probably. The gentleman who created Express Grill actually worked at Jim's original, and his uncle was Jimmy himself, the original founder. Wow.

And now they go head to head, and they both say they have the superior product to one another, even though they offer the same menu and practically the same price, and the two have beefed ever since. That's great. Jeff, do you want to throw the question? Yeah, I wouldn't mind. If you don't mind.

Hey, Nick, have you ever eaten at Jim's original? That was my question. Yeah, Jim's original is good. What did you get there? You've eaten there? I got a hot dog. What was on it? Chicago style.

When did you do that? When we went for the 100% eat live show? Or Face Jam Live show. So you've been there, too there? When did we go there? I went there on my own. You broke off from the face jam crew to eat a hot dog. Are you serious?

Yeah, remember we went drinking at night and then we went and got food. I went and got a hot dog. I thought everyone got Taco Bell. That was the other night. We were there for two nights. This is crazy. Nick is telling you that the food podcast that you guys run together, that you traveled to another city to enjoy the food at,

that he snuck away and had famous food without telling you guys. He did. Binding out about it now in the fucking beef, not beef draft. Yep. I call bullshit real bullshit on that one. Why would you do that solo? He stared straight ahead and then got a big smile. I don't know.

I was pretty drunk. Maybe it didn't happen. So would you recommend Jim's original? Jim's. And so... Dude, the higher pitch Nick's voice is the less... I hear it all the time. I'm sick of it.

What do you mean? Oh, my God. I'm on your side. I am. Real Canadian Superstore has everything you need this back-to-school season. Save on lunchbox savers like Ziggy's sliced deli-meat products for always 375. And get Life Brand Pure Vita shampoo or conditioner for $8 each. At Real Canadian Superstore, when you're ready, we're ready, with a whole world and more.

Nick, I fixed the thing you broke. Jim's, I'm about to break it again. Jim's original Express Grill is off the board, but you have your fourth and final pick. No one's going to take it from you. No. Continuing with my food-themed beef. not beef draft. It's...

Check stop. It's cheese whiz versus no cheese whiz on your cheese steak sandwich. Whiz or without whiz? Whiz or without whiz? It's a beef as old as time. Philadelphians mostly hate it. Some think it's not a, it's actually a cheese steak without.

You think a piece of food without something on it can beef against food with something on it? No, the people are beefing about it. Yeah, it's sort of like how people, people beef over whether chili has beans or not. Right. Okay. Oh, that would have been a better one. Oh, without whiz. Anyway, my answer is without whiz. You don't need it.

Oh, you idiot. It's wit-wiz. So good. See, you're seeing the beef in real time, Gavin. See? Get on to Gina's you want some fucking whiz on it. So, I would love to check it out but not with Nick, apparently, who would just kind of go on his own.

Hey, we should come up with a reason to all go to Philly together and get those sandwiches. Okay. All right, well, let's do us. Do you want to visit my family? No? No. I'm good. I'm going to a hot dog.

I want to go to a Phillies game? I'm good. Yeah, I would do that. Okay. Well, Nick's off the board. He's all done. Andrew, uh, your cheese whiz can no longer be picked. What is your fourth and final beef here?

My fourth and final beef is a beef that I especially love. And it involves one of you. The beef is in the room, but I can't see it. It is Gavin and Chromatic Abitation. Whatever it is. Is that right? Yeah. Afflitation?

I never know. I don't see it, don't know what it is. He hates it. He gets very upset about it, goes into the settings. Just look at the edge of the screen, see if it's on or not. I guess it's a thing because it is a setting that he often is able to turn off, but I just never notice any difference between the two things. It's disgusting.

You turn off that and you turn off motion. I don't disagree with motion blur and I don't even disagree with this I just don't see it but it bothers you and that's funny what don't what don't you see about it I don't know what's happening when you turn it on or off looks the exact same to me he's so mad Gavin's so he can't even he can't he's typing something he's so he's like he's trying to show him so many times that I just don't see it cats and dogs fuck fest and our Discord so he can't explain it so he's gonna show you. I've, he's tried and it has never, I've never got it.

It's this. In contrast to what? Well, imagine just tree without colored lines on either side, where the light is entering the lens at funny different velocity. Yeah, imagine that. Are you imagining that, Andrew? Imagine less light velocity. I've never seen that in a game.

It's on almost every game. It'll be in the corners, it'll be on the edges. It's in GTA, turn it off. It's in GTA. See, I had never noticed in GTA. I'd never noticed that. You can't turn it off in GTA. Oh.

Apparently you can't see it either, because I've never seen it. That's a great beef. Andrew, this is a great beef. I think that's a great ender, man. I think your final pick is really strong. I wish I, I'm going to be honest. I wish I saw it. I want to experience what he experiences.

Yeah. Don't see it. Well, you're better off not seeing it. I want to be you. But then I can't enjoy it. You don't enjoy it. I don't know if I do or don't. I don't see it.

It's like an issue that you try and avoid. Why deliberately put it in a game? Makes no sense. See, I don't, yeah, I don't know. I don't get it. Don't see it. Don't get it. I just keep living life.

Like Matthew. Well, Jeff, you can't pick Gavin in Chromatic. But you gotta pick something because your fourth and final beef here. I'm torn between two. I could go sports or entertainment. Oh, both good. We go sports?

Yeah. All right, my final beef is going to be between two of the most storied basketball franchises of all time. It's between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics. They have tremendous beef.

The Los Angeles Lakers, for instance, have beaten the Boston Celtics 166 times in head-to-head matchups, which would be a lot if the Celtics hadn't beat the Lakers 212 times. Oh! The Los Angeles Lakers

have beaten the Boston Celtics three times in the NBA finals, which would be a lot if the Celtics hadn't beat the Lakers nine times. Wow. The Los Angeles Lakers

have 17 NBA titles, which would be a lot. It would be the most. Unfortunately, for them, the Boston Celtics had 18. And so it's a bit of a one-sided beef, I think,

because we're punching down. But it is. The Lakers had. and the Celtics. Classic NBA rivalry. I think that's good. I really thought that was going to be your first pick.

That's a great pick. I didn't think anybody else was going to pick it, so I didn't have many... It makes sense. I mean, I don't think anyone was going to pick Halfield McCoy.

Yeah, that one's more fun, though. Yeah. It was not my board. It's my wife. No, I have. He's looked the same, Gavin. Gavin has dropped an image of chromatic aberration.

It looked the same. What do you mean? They look the same. I see chromatic aberration on the one that says corrected. Yeah. What? It looks the same.

There's like pink. around the tree. I don't see. See? I don't get it. Gavin, Gavin, there's pink around the tree. The exact same photo. Blue on one side of the branch and red on the other. The other one doesn't.

It's so subtle. He says corrected, but like, don't know how you see it. You say blue? Yeah, it's right there at the, okay, now scroll down to the other one. It's like each end of the light spot. It's blue. Oh.

See on the left side of the left tree. It still looks like shit. It looks the same. I don't see it. I don't know why. I wish I did. Gavin. That's your example, Gavin?

That's really bad. Not agree. Well, the other example was stronger. Nothing in comparison. A, B testing requires a B, unfortunately. I mean, in real life, how do you get rid of it other than switch the lens? I don't understand. I don't understand any.

Well, Gavin, while you're going to be more head on it. Well, Gavin, while you're... If you're beefing with chromatic aberration, you actually have your fourth and final pick. My final beef is a beef that I'm incredibly sad about. Mm-hmm. And I wish it wasn't around, but it is. It's the beef, the long-standing beef between Andrew Panton and the United States of America. Wow.

Wow. Classic. A strong. I miss him so much. I'm a question. He made a shape. He got a guy. Gavin.

He made his shape. He made a shape. He missed him so much, and then he made his shape. He made a shape. He made a shape. The last... Yeah, go ahead with your question. Well, let's go from 2015.

I think that was maybe... Actually, for that, 2014. Okay. I've been to America six times. Yeah. From 2014 to 2026. How many times have you been to Canada? That time.

Uh... Three. I was in Canada last. Take that. I'll take that. You want me to come through more times? I'll even this up right now. I'm saying it sounds like me.

To me, you have a bigger beef with Canada than I do with the U.S. I do have a beef of Canada. The border people are mean as hell. Jesus Christ. And like the nice reputation of the USA people. I don't think anyone goes to the USA people. expecting Americans to be polite. We don't have it in this.

Fair point. You know what? Canada. I can't even get mad at this. Let's try to make a counterpoint. Yeah, I am currently beefing at the USA. It's fair. That's a fair pick.

That's just accurate. Yeah. Yeah, so Gavin, fourth and final pick. Andrew Payton and the USA. Jeff, how do you know about that one? I think it's another, once again, Gavin not understanding how the draft works, makes a great draft where he picks perfect picks.

That's a good one. Not what I was expecting to be beefing with. No. I think there's a more established beef with me. You're beefing harder with something else? Absolutely. Technology. No.

We get along great. Story past. Subway dogs? Oh, yeah. I'm recovered a back from that, by the way. Took about 11 days, but I'm back. Like, you had one? No.

I just feel physically well. But you still wouldn't eat a dog? No. Well, no. So what's your beef, food? Pants! Fucking hate pants. You can't spell panting without pants.

Yeah, but I hate them. Won't wear them. Can't make me. Will I go to your wedding? No. Can't make me. While I go to your funeral, no, can't make me. Fair enough.

Don't wear pants. There you have it. He won't care. I have the shorts-only funeral. You were allowed at my wedding. shorts, by the way. Now you tell them. Well, now that changes everything.

I would have. I'd have to wear a kilt, I guess, right? That's fashionable. I'm not from Scotland. No, but I feel like the fashionable shorts are kilt. What? There's no dress short, but like there's dress quilt. But it's different. Well, yeah, but my issue of pants is

is I like my legs to be free. So, Kilt kind of provides the same experience as a short. Yeah. Do you own a kilt? No. Have you ever worn a kilt? No.

Can we make that happen? Is there a kilt store? Where do I get a kilt from? You buy them from somewhere. And we'll figure that out. Okay. I'm not opposed to wearing a kilt. What about this?

I'll record a podcast secretly in a kilt. Ooh. Kilt. It'll be more dressed than usual. I love it. Well, my fourth and final pick. Yeah.

Long-storied history in a lot of these. I had 50-cent diddy. 50-cent Floyd Mayweather. 50-cent draw rule. So obviously, my last pick is Andrew Panton and Pants. Oh, shit. Andrew, you convinced me. It is better than the last feud that I was going to pick.

Your beef with pants is storied. You're even going to wear a kilt for a podcast. That's how much you hate them. Andrew Pantin-Pantz is my fourth and final pick. It's tough. It's your true beef. That's what, Andrew, when I think of you, I think this guy's not wearing pants. I'm never wearing pants.

What if they were so light that they didn't feel constrictive to you? Haven't worn pants since 2014. You can't make me. Unless I'll get fired if I don't wear pants. Then I'll wear the pants, I guess. That was the last situation in which I had to wear pants. They were going to fire you? Yeah, well, because we're getting, the place I was working at was getting audited.

And I worked in a warehouse and I should have been wearing pants, I guess for safety things so they made me wear pants while we were being out of it. Pass the audit. Pass the audit. And the pants came straight off. Well, there you have it.

Our beef not beef draft is complete. Here is what Eric picked. 50 cent did he. 50 cent void Mayweather. 50 cent jaw rule and Andrew Panton and pants. That's right. You convinced me, man.

Gavin chose Don Zimmer and Pedro Martinez, Tom and Jerry. Beef curtains. Jesus. Christ. Andrew Panning in the USA. Go Belgium. Jeff picked Hatfield McCoy, Howard Stern, Jay Leno, Stephen Merchant, Ricky Jervais, and the Lakers and Celtics. Andrew has picked the Matthew Broderick-List Cats and Dogs.

Kendrick and Drake, Consul Wars, and Gavin in Chromatic Aberration. And Nick has picked Blacks Barbecue, Terry Blacks, Paseo and Umbien, Jim's original Express Girl, and Cheese Whiz, No Cheese Whiz. Nick. What? It's great. The beef not beef draft

is complete draft. What do you think? Any honorable mentions are there out there? Oh, I've got one. Go for it, Nick. Oh, I was going to say Eric and audio equipment. Oh, I was going to put...

My last pick was going to be Eric and Nick, but then Andrew convinced me. Oh, I didn't do anything. I'll run through mine real fast. I have Alabama Auburn, obviously. Classic football rivalry. Tanya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan. Hamilton versus Burr. Coke and Pepsi.

McDonald's Burger King, Walmart Target, Biggie Tupac, Betty, Davis, and Joe. Betty Davis and Joan Crawford. Oh. Fucking, I figured it was a little too old for our audience, but hated each other and tried to ruin each other's career. Yeah. Shit talked to each other on live television every chance they got.

And Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis hated each other. That's why they stopped working together. And then my final one was Paris Hilton Lindsay Lohan. Oh. Who is the ice skating beef? Tony Harding and Nancy Kerrigan. That's the second one I said. Oh, it is.

Yeah, but have you thought about Tonya Harding? and whoever she was beefing with? Oh, Nancy Kerrigan. Did you get that one? Yeah, they made a movie about it. I have one on a number of mention it. He's not. Bastion's Stan is, though.

I switched to Andrew Patton in the USA at the last minute, but my previous pick was hot bovro. Hot bovril and what? No, beef, not beef. It was beef, not beef. Oh, I see. I see, I got it. It's beef juice, but not beef.

I got it. Yeah. I was originally going to pick 50 cent in the game because that was a, that ended up in a shootout outside of the radio station. that's pretty cool but I feel like

you know I pivoted in the right direction so I thought you're gonna do 50 cent Jay Z when you went to your role nah I just wasn't I wasn't feeling that one I don't really care about that's fair Jay Z's more famous for his Noss beef there you have it

pretty happy with mine Andrew any honorable mentions no fantastic guys thanks so much wait what about Nick he said he was happy with his yeah I don't have anything else other than Eric and audio equipment Okay. There's a local hamburger chain called Franz hamburgers.

Fran and her husband, Dan, were married. They started the restaurant together. They got divorced. Dan spun off and started Dan's and Fran kept Franz. And I'm surprised Nick didn't pick that. I would say that's the most relevant one to us. Yeah. Well, the one I was going to think of also was, was it Madam Mams and... Oh, Saps. Saps and Mada Mams. Yeah. Yeah, that's another good one. It was like a couple that split. Tie beef. Yeah. And she took Madame Mams and he did saps and Emily stayed with Saps. She's a big Saps fan. I went Madam Mams.

My wife loves Madam Mams. Well, guys, there you have it. Our beef not beef draft. Let us know who won. Go to Patreon and have your vote. Let us know in the comments what beefs you would have picked and how you feel about what we have here.

Let us know your favorite Matthew Broderick movie, I guess. Make sure he's in it, though. Yeah, check out patreon.com slash the regulation. He's not in a lot. Check out the store. Check out the gameplay videos. Check up a podcast. Do you have beef with this draft?

Let us know. And we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye.