F**kface - Blockbuster Veteran // Morning Burger [115]

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Andrew's shape reveal, Coffee News, veteran owned, nepo baby, Monopoly, bird exchange, house rats, a clip, Nick's house problems, garage doors, warehouse, hit by car, Answer for It, live shows, burger count, burger lab, hot lettuce, rat water, old time rock n roll, Starry, San Francisco, Nostradamus, England, tv rating, and burger wheel. Sponsored by Shopify. Turns out you don’t need a real job. Build your own business with a free trial at shopify.com/regulation Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Spider-Man, brand-new day in theaters, July 31st. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is episode 115. We are only two away from 117. My name is Jeff Ramsey with me as always, Andrew Patton, Gavin Free, Nick Schwartz, Eric Badour. Sup. Hello. Hello.

I'm excited to get to the bottom of some stuff in this episode. This is a lot of some recapping. Oh, we got to the bottom. A lot of people anticipate. Well, you know, we talked about how we had a coffee news meeting. I guess very briefly, I can review. what my shape is, because I looked at all the comments everywhere. Anybody get it?

Nobody got it, and I didn't expect anybody to get it, but it's kind of cool if you, like, sort of my thinking of it was if you were to create a Rorschach that meant something to you, finding the other person that saw it the exact same, kind of cool. That person, unsurprisingly, does not exist. That's the shape of a sneeze. That's a sneeze. That's a sneeze shape. I got a lot of Texas.

So a lot of Texas comments. Definitely a lot of people think in Texas. wolf. I got wolf a lot. Some people thought Italy. Yeah, all fair. I completely get all. But it was a sneeze. That's how I visualize a sneeze shape. As I've sat with it over these last few weeks, I tend to think you did a pretty faithful job. Yeah, I'm happy with it. Not exactly what I would want, but pretty good. Lost some translation from the pen to the finger. But I think more excitingly, we had our coffee news meeting. How did that go, everybody? I dropped a picture of what I think a sneeze is. So I think that the meeting did not go well because it didn't happen because they didn't show up for it.

They stiffed us. It was really annoying too because we were about to go into another recording, but it was like, we've got that meeting in like 45 minutes. So it would be silly to start a recording. So we just waited for some reason. Well, it was for a thing we wanted. We wanted the coffee news thing to happen. And so that is how we acquiesce and go like, oh, okay, like that, that's what we have to do.

Yeah, they just didn't show up. So I emailed and I said, hey, happy to have this conversation over email. And then they emailed a little while later. And they said, oh, sorry for the misappointment. It appears that we had a calendar connection issue on our side. Let me know when you want to meet again. And I said, no, happy to have this conversation over email. So we, I think we've locked in a piece.

I'm waiting for them to get back to me about what our next steps are to actually get it started. But I think we'll probably be moving forward with coffee news. So shockingly, we did not have to have a meeting about it. But boy, they wanted to. I'll tell you one thing. Right now, veteran owned. That's what we are. Oh, we have to be veteran owned.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're a veteran-owned business, guys. We notice that all the ads in coffee news all say veteran owned. So we figure that must be a big selling point. And since technically I'm a veteran, we get to apply that to our ad as well. We do. Why do you say technically? Who are?

Yeah, I guess just straight. Well, technically, the untechnically. I don't think of myself. Listen, I was in the Army for five years, which is a quarter of a career. I recognize that that's a significant chunk of serving my country. But it was so long ago and I feel like such a different. that it genuinely doesn't feel like me when I pull it out. You know what I mean?

You gave 10% of your life. I did. I did. Well, yeah. I guess now. Thus far. Thus far. The percentage gets lower as you get older.

I mean, five years is like not of like no consequence. Like, hey, Nick, how many years did you spend in the military? Yeah, exactly. Me too. So I think five is a lot, you know, just sort of by the. numbers. Yeah, no, I agree. It just, it was, it feels, it was 30 years ago now, you know, it was, it was, it was in the Army from 1993 to 1998. I'm not trying to equate the importance of these two things, but like, you know, I had a Blockbuster membership for like 10 years. I

wouldn't think myself as a Blockbuster veteran at this stage. I do. I think I still carry my card. I still have my Blockbuster. I'm a Blackbuster veteran. Jeff, if you had to, if you had to do another five years now, though. You'd be like, Jesus Christ, that's so long. Well, yeah, because the only people in the military at my age are three-star generals. I'd be, I'd be suck in fucking wind having to go back in as an

E-4 in my 50s. It'd be brutal. E-4. Yeah, it's my, was my rank. E-40. E-50. E-50. I think putting veteran-owned for this podcast is going to trick a lot of people, and that's

really, I think what we're all about here with coffee news is, uh, it's not a trick because I am a veteran. Right. And then there's going other unsuspecting veterans who are eating sandwiches at Tucci subs going, oh, veteran owned podcast. I better check this out. And they go, what? That's not what a sneeze looks like. What is this? Uh, they're going to listen to an episode and, and hear a conversation about why this is veteran owned and the percentages of ownership that is veteran. 20%? I'm the kind of veteran 20% Yeah, I'm the kind of veteran When other people find out I'm a veteran

That are also veterans, they don't believe me I have to convince them I don't look like ex-military I feel like you're the kind of veteran Who doesn't stand at the baseball game When they say if you served in our military Stand up so we can like Give you a random applause

Uh Yeah You sort of like you bashfully half stand and wave And then sit down quickly I'll do like a get 70% out of the chair Yeah, kind of take it And then bow as I'm rushing to sit back down. Yes, yes, I've seen it.

I've seen it. I don't want any kind of credit or anything like that. No, that's, I, I love that veterans are, our veterans are represented in that way. And I shake, I fucking, I clap my ass off. But I don't, I just, I don't know. All the credit to them, you know. I feel like I've seen you do the half perched in a chair, how off in one hand, like, arm above your head and the other hand to be like, hey. And then you sit so quickly back down.

I can like see it That's great I think you should have some more ownership over it Jeff I think you did a great job Oh thanks man I love I'm very proud of my time in the military I just uh I don't know It feels braggadocious too of me Not like to anybody else anybody else

It's a veteran or has like a veteran license plate or anything I'm like fuck yeah man But if I were to do it I'd feel like I'm like trying to Like I'm trying to brag or be ostentatious to some way I don't know why I don't know why I view my through a different lens than anyone else on earth, but I do. I think that's your whole life. Of the other four of us, who do you think would have the best career in the military?

Easily Nick. Thank you. I agree. I agree. Easily Nick. Yeah, I mean, like his dad was in the military, so it was kind of like a Nepo situation, too, so he'd get all the breaks. I don't know if it's, I don't think NEPA works that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nepo military brat. Ugh. Yeah, okay. That's how that works. Oh, Christ. So we're going to be coffee newsers eventually. We are.

Hopefully. I have a question about that, Eric. Yeah. Do you know, because I'm not on that email exchange, do you know, will we be designing the ad ourselves or do they design it? They will be doing it for us. Okay. I was about to get into that.

That was a crazy curtain to have pulled in this process. Yes. Is learning that they designed the ad. Yeah. So it's a full package suite that they have based on like how many. weeks you go in for and they do a one-time ad design. There's also, there's also exclusivity. So there's only one business per category. So we will be the only podcast in Central Texas Coffee News that goes both South Round Rock and Austin South North of William Cannon.

And also South of William Cannon. Hell yeah. I would love to know what. what other region anywhere has a podcast in their coffee news? That's a great question. Oh, interesting. I wonder if theoretically, like, this is an open Monopoly board that we could claim all the turf on or if, like... You're not allowed to talk to us about Monopoly. You're not...

No. You're not allowed to talk to us about Monopoly. It's a great game. Great game. I don't know why you don't want to talk about it. We won. It's not what we played last week, but I do agree that Monopoly is a good game. Monopoly, Star Wars, Heroes versus Villains.

It's in the name. we played it it's Monopoly I liked it quite a bit I'm excited to see their ad I am scared that it's a one-time creation I wonder if there will be leeway

because I do not want them to send us some AI shit that ad design I have a feeling it'll just be our show logo and then we provide a couple of sentences and then it says veteran owned

and then there's a QR code like I think it'll probably just be that like I think this is going to be just looking at everything else that is in coffee news I don't I'm not expecting much do we get like any kind of a tagline

like we could throw deep lore about nothing up there like regulation podcast veteran owned deep lore about nothing and then the butthole I can ask I've asked what our next steps are what we provide and what they need in order for this to go forward for like you know

like what do we give you here's our image here a QR code to the Patreon? Like, what are we doing here? But they haven't got back to me, so maybe they want to have another meeting they don't show up for. I think if we can,

if we can add some more flare to it, I think, in addition to veteran-owned, I think it should say, family-friendly. You know, because we love families here. I don't know if that's a- I don't know about that.

You've got a family. Yeah, everybody here has a family, and we're friendly towards them all. Next, you've got a family. I feel like it always says veteran owned and operated. Have you ever seen an ad that was owned but not operated? There are certainly businesses that are owned by people that don't operate them. Very good point.

I don't think I've ever seen that. Hey, while we're wrapping up loose ends, Nick, I don't know if you remember this, but you asked me to put a note in my episode file to remind you to tell a story today in the podcast. I did. I wanted to tell this story on the podcast because it was relevant to a couple of things that have been going on in the regulation universe and the first part is a few weeks ago

we were talking about how I send pictures of squirrels and birds to Eric even though he doesn't want them and then we had the discussion about oh you and Jeff are really into it you guys should start exchanging pictures and Jeff and I, I can't speak for Jeff but I can say over the past couple of weeks

I've had a lovely time sending pictures to Jeff and videos and he's been sending them back and we've had a little bit of a nice rapport going, Jeff. I've really enjoyed it. I have too, man. It's been great. You know, I think I sent you a Blue Jay. You sent some Cardinals.

And it's been really wonderful. And then the other night, um, got an alert. And it was like midnight. Like, ah, that damn squirrels back out there again. So I walked outside and, uh, saw something dart along the fence line. And I thought, I've just got to keep that. that squirrel away from this damn bird feed. He keeps eating all of it and spilling it all to the ground.

And then I went back inside and I was like, you know what? That was really weird. I never really paid attention to the night vision on this camera before. And so I watched the video back and I'm like, that's a really weird looking squirrel. And then I noticed that it had a very long tail. Oh, no. And then I went back out there and saw a rat scurry along the fence line. And where there's one rat, there were a little.

many rats. They followed you home. They followed me home. They did toy story style. They hung onto the back of your bumper. Dude, side show Bob strapped himself underneath. Luckily, well, for him, he didn't have any speed bump. But our little back and forth has to end for a while while I figure this out. And so you won't be getting any pictures of anything for a while. That's no problem, Nick. Here's one for you, by the way. I'm going to send you. Oh, thank you. Do you think maybe the new ratters at the office are coming from you, like they've shat on your back or something without you realizing and you're just bringing them into work? Maybe you've got a small hole in your pocket and you're just dropping rat breadcrumbs

everywhere you go. I'm like a dog. I walk in. I shake off and they just fall to the phone. I did notice, by the way, that rat cam has detected some movement at the office. Really? I'm posting the video now. Oh, why I'm excited about this?

You want to play on the count of three? One, two, three, play. Okay, come on. I need to get new command strips. That thing keeps falling down. It hung up there for a year. Oh, man. We have a, what does that sign say?

No soliciting? No soliciting sign. It says no soliciting, but it reminds us on the way out to not solicit on the outside world. And it fell off. On the inside. So for people just listening, we have a sign over in our door. and it fell. No rat.

And it is a hilarious clung of the sign. It was a great noise. Wow, I was so excited for a rat. I haven't seen one yet. I'm still scrubbing through there. Well, that's good news. Like, let's not be mad.

It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Well, it doesn't really matter me. Publicly, I'm very happy that there isn't. Okay. Privately, I want the footage. I'm going to send you guys the photo

I sent Nick, but this shouldn't go up because I don't know who this dude is and he's in my neighborhood. That's fine. You put it up and then delete it. Yeah. I saw this guy walking around my street the other day. I meant to send it to Nick, but I forgot to. It is a dude. I had to run to get my camera to catch it. It's just a dude walking down the street holding a giant white bird in his hand. Oh my God. He was like walking his bird.

Yeah, he's got like a feeder pack thing on his back it looks like. Right in the middle of the fucking neighborhood. He's walking his bird. Yeah, big ass wiper. I don't even know what kind of bird it is because I was so, I'm so panicked to find my phone to take the photo. Wow.

Yeah, he just like took his bird out for a walk. It doesn't seem to be fixed to him in any way. I mean, if you walk outside for like a mile holding a dog, did you take your dog for a walk or are you just holding a dog? That's a good question. You're getting dog walked. Hey, Nick, so rats are in your bird feeder. Your air conditioner goes out.

Your fridge is on the fritz, and you need a new garage door. Is that your list? The garage door, I spent an hour on the phone with the warranty folks from Lyftmaster, and they were like, well, check this, check that, check this. I was just thinking, I'm not going to pay for this replacement. And then by the end of it, he said,

yeah, it sounds like you need this part. It'll be there in seven to ten business days, and then we'll walk you through how to install it. Why are you doing? What? I don't know. I don't know. I'm being cheap, but I don't want to pay money for a garage door opener that is eight months old.

It's under-cour. No, you're absolutely right. I had to get the garage door at the new house fixed and it cost $1,000. Oh, my God. How much is a new one of those? Because I've only ever had ones already in the house. So expensive. Or in the garage.

How much is that? A few hundred bucks. Oh, maybe I should put one in the house and my front door can open like a garage door. That would be crazy. Crazy. Wow, I never thought of that. No, I've never considered why do... Why is that technology only in the garage? Probably because it's incredibly loud.

And it takes up a lot of room. It makes no sense. But boy, that would be a cool door. And big railings and chains are pretty ugly. But that would be a sick way to open the front door. Oh, what if it was like a bathroom door? That's like a fun prank. Somebody badly needs to pee and they got to wait for the door to slowly.

All right, guys, hear me out. the office door we can't even get a sign to stay on the office door you want to install that we won't need to because it'll be you're making a shape it'll be yeah big square

I would love it if the door went up into the ceiling every time we went in why don't we just move into a warehouse that already has that because it's funnier on a human size door human size human size doors for humans I'm going to get a garage door for my dog

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slash regulation. Turns out you don't need a real job. Build your own business with a free trial at Shopify.com slash regulation. What about the smallest garage door you can get is? That's so funny. For a bike or something? Should it be a thing, Gavin, where there's not even a button. It's just two beams and whenever you cross the beam, it opens. They have to, you have to, like, run before the door closes to get out if you want to leave. Do you ever do that thing where the the open the button to close your garage is at the back of the garage, but the one at the front doesn't work, so you have to press that and then run and jump over the invisible line before the thing shuts.

All the time. Almost every day. Indiana Jones, baby. We did that for Mega 64 for Aquabats had a TV show, and they were like fake commercials in the TV show, and we filmed one that was like an Indiana Jones Temple run where a kid like dies to the garage and all this stuff and then like slides under. to the garage door and everything. And then my dad goes,

great job, son. Like, it's a funny little thing. And, uh, aquabats are like, this is great. And then they came back to us and they said, oh, never mind. Standards of Practices said, we can't air this because kids die every year from doing this. I know. No. Isn't that crazy?

When I was like six, we had a garage door in Oregon, a big, heavy, like wooden garage door. And I used to practice. I used to play Indiana Jones. I would, I would set it down. and then I would dive under it back and forth. This is like 1981, so there isn't the sensor to make it safe. And I was doing that one day, and I misjudged, and that door slammed down on my ankle, and it ripped a bunch of ligaments in my foot.

I might have been seven. Yeah. I remember, yeah. I had to go to the doctor or the emergency room and stuff. My mom was not happy. So your ankle integrity from that day forward was just never 100%, huh? Oh, wow. I never really thought about it.

But maybe it got strong. longer. No, it is the bad. It's the bad ankle because I, I, I, uh, I was trying to slam dunk some trash into a dumpster when I was like 17 at the, at a fast food restaurant I was working at. And I landed on my ankle wrong and I sprained it and it didn't work right for like a year. Even in basic training in the army, it was still hurting when I was running and stuff. And it like ballooned to the size of a golf ball, not golf ball, not golf ball, a grapefruit for a while. And, uh, eventually I, it was fine. But yeah, I would say it's probably not. I don't know if I'm like at Andrew levels, but yeah, that one's never, it clicks now in a way that it didn't use to.

Oh, sure. I get that. Makes an audible noise. Andrew, if you've done more damage to your ankles while awake or while asleep? Definitely while awake. Okay. It just, I mean, there are injuries when you sleep. It's mainly when it's sore and like I'm not supposed to extend it and then I extend it in my sleep.

Or those like anxiety dreams where I'm rolling my ankle in my dream. so like I'm physically moving it in a way that does not help. But your anxiety dreams aren't at school beyond a certain age. Well, no, nothing passed high school. Do you have any work dreams? Or work dreams? Like anxiety work-based? Because I feel like you've worked at home longer than you worked elsewhere.

I did. I mean, I worked in a warehouse. I don't know. I think the stress and anxiety of like learning the loop of a warehouse was I don't know Yeah, not really How long did you do warehousing? About a year

Did you get fired or quit? Quit Great question though Did you quit because they were going to fire you? No I was thinking about quitting I was thinking about quitting and it was right before Destiny 1 came out

and it's like this time to do it A little bit of time What? So in fact, Destiny 1 was the most expensive game you ever bought. I guess so, yeah, because I was like... Because it cut income. Because it fit, like, I just... With my ankle, it was not a good fit for a job where I had like a four-month period where

I was severely limping and I couldn't rest to recover. So it was just, it was the end of the line for that job no matter what. It was like destiny was coming out a month later. Not a month, but it was like two weeks. And you were probably still been... out of shape over that one day they made you wear pants for the inspector. Oh yeah, they're wearing pants for a little 100%. Yeah.

What if, I wonder if there's any data on whether people roll their ankle more in shorts or trousers. Oh, you'd think shorts, right? Because physical, like you're probably being more active in shorts. Yeah. I feel like maybe the restriction of a nice pair of trousers would mean you wouldn't get ahead of your ankles. I would say that what do you think most rolled ankles come from? Like, how do they happen? Maybe a curve? Stairs, curbs, skateboarding. I would think skateboarding would be up there.

I think it's just walking. I think it's just all of a sudden you step weird and roll your ankle. I don't know. I don't think that it's anything that's like really out of the ordinary. For me as a kid, it was always like overly soft carpet would do me in. Overly soft carpet. It's too much squish and my foot wouldn't know where to go. Huh.

That's an interesting one. Upside down was often the choice for some reason. The carpet is not a surface I get scared of. Huh. Would you say Eric that most of your rolled ankles in life have come from just walking? Uh,

most of? Probably. I mean, like, what other sports? I would say almost every sprained ankle except for the one throwing the truck. I was even trying to play basketball dunk in the trash into the dumpster at my job, technically.

You caught far that as sports. But I would say, Almost every other sprained ankle I've had in my life is come from a skateboard or a bicycle or a game of baseball or something. Interesting. I mean, maybe. I mean, I've definitely hurt my ankle and stuff. I've always been run over by a car.

That was a big one. So, like, that hurt my ankle a lot. That was sprained. But I would think probably just, like, walking in general where, like, I don't know, you turn a corner, you move funny and, like, you just roll your ankle in, like, a weird way. And all of a sudden, you're just like, I don't, this is bad now.

And I think, I think that's probably a lot more common than, you think it is. How'd you get run over my car? I was driving. I was driving. I was riding my bike on the sidewalk and it was on campus at Cal State Fullerton, two little pieces where you kind of go down past like a driveway and a guy in a truck wasn't looking and he just started rolling forward as I was going in front of him and I remember going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and he just rolled over my ankle. Oh, God. Yeah. I, I, I, I think, probably, I've probably talked about this before, maybe. But my first wife hit me with a car twice.

On purpose? Yeah, on purpose. Hey, two is true, man. He didn't do any major damage or anything, but it definitely hurt my pride. Definitely hurt the relationship. Incidentally or? Yeah, what was the context? She was mad at me.

So were you like out running it with like headlights full blast in your back? Like, what? Both times it was in a parking lot And we were arguing and she was leaving And she ran over my foot the first time And she just aimed at me and hit me in a parking lot Over on 5th Street The second time

This is so much more deliberate than I thought Trying to go very fast, but I thought these are two freak accidents Eric's post of pictures I was imagining it more like the beginning of naked gun From that perspective man it's amazing after all of these conversations Jeff I'm still finding out new ways you've suffered it's great

oh there's so many more there's so much stuff I don't talk about on camera I know it feels like the well just keeps getting deeper it's incredible it's so interesting to live long enough that a lot of my early stories I just can't tell anymore you know like it's just no longer like it just It wouldn't play well on mic. But yeah, there's quite a bit. That's just something so funny to me about a rolled ankle. Like, it sucks whatever it happens,

but it just sounds and looks so much more brutal than it ends up being. That's some fucking ankle privilege is when I'm hearing. I don't know. I feel like I've properly, like, rolled an ankle. I've heard it crunch, maybe like three cracks, and then I've gone down, and it's hurt for like a year.

But then I'm fine. Okay. I just, I don't, the year, year is a lot. It's a lot of time to be in pain. Yeah. It took a year to feel normal again. That's a pretty significant injury. I felt,

I felt it in the cold. But I feel like there was, nothing broke and I've got a perfectly functional ankle, like the fact that it recovered without any intervention. But I remember that my friend Jed, when we were younger, he jumped off a hill. And when he landed,

he banged both of his knees together. And it like completely paralyzed him from the knees down of both legs. Like he was walking around. He was like dragging himself around on his hands because he legit couldn't walk for like 30 minutes. He had like the funny bones on his legs. And I almost pooed, just laugh at. Because I could tell he found it funny, but he was also like, this is a lot of pain.

Yeah, at a certain point, it's like, am I going to walk again? I assume. You're like legitimately, I don't know if you've ever like banged a knee to the point where it's like, oh wow, I really can't put an ounce of weight on this leg because it would collapse. He just had that for both legs at the same time. Did he think it was permanent? Was he crying? Was he crying? Was he crying? He had tears in his eyes from like laughing at the pain at the same time.

But I don't think he thought it was going to be forever. Good. That's good. Nick, how are you going to get rid of your rats? What's your plan? Well, I was reading that you need to instantly get rid of any of the seed around the ground. So I took a shopback vacuum. You started vacuuming your backyard.

I started vacuuming my yard. That's a pretty clever idea. Well, it did work. It did take a lot of mulch with it, though. So that was a little unfortunate. But I'll have to get some replacement. But I haven't seen anything since. I took down the bird feeder altogether.

And I was reading that the best time of years to do it are spring and fall and that summer can attract pests. Have you considered getting other empty bird feeders to try to track where the rats are going and coming from, finding their base point? I want to starve them out as much as possible without

chasing them down anywhere else. If I can keep them as far from the house as possible, I'll do that now. I need to vocalize that I knew while you were telling that story, that this wasn't going to be the answer, but I was so giddy with the concept that what was going to be revealed as on your

camera was in fact Jeff making a cameo. He's wanting to show up on your bird feeding one of the day. Like that's a weird looking cat. I was just imagining Jeff running around the edges of your yard. You checking the evidence. It's just Jeff at your bird feeder. I don't know if Nick and I are quite that close yet for me to torment his whole family. Yeah, I would find that to be incredibly scary, I imagine.

I love the idea of Jeff really wanting to get sent a Jeff. So it seems you were in my backyard at 3 a.m. last night. What were you up to yesterday? I went to McDonald's yesterday to get a burger when I was running around. I was going to the post office and stuff. And I, the person in front of me, their order was still on the screen when I pulled up, so I got to see what they ordered. And I saw an order I've never seen before. The only thing the car in front of me ordered was one cheeseburger, hold the meat.

extra cheese. What? So it's like, what? Cheese sandwich? It was just a, but I think it still has onions and ketchup and mustard and God. Pickles and everything else that a cheeseburger has. Like nothing else was substituted.

The only thing was remove meat, no meat, and then one extra slice of cheese. So they had, yeah, they had like a, I guess a two cheese, diced onion, pickle, ketchup and mustard burger. Oh, that's given me an idea. I want to potentially just get the two cheese, none of the rest of the stuff, and then introduce a little bit of Branson

and see if that beats my bulk standard cheese and Branson sandwich. American cheese? Might heighten it. You should try it. Yeah, maybe. It's a big, Gavin's McDonald's hacks. in the height of the diarrhea

virus thing that's going on going to a fast food place and asking to only remove the meat is a crazy move the reverse of what people are doing that's a good point hey Eric should we should we talk about what we did last night yeah I think so it was a

it was fun and we represented regulation really well yeah I will say so Eric Eric and I went to an event last night. We did a live game show, I guess, would be what you'd call it, trivia show? And there were maybe, how many people would you say was there was sold out, which was cool? It was at this place called the Ballroom.

200? $200?150, something like that? It was like a decent amount. If there were 150 people there, I would say 30 of them were wearing black or white metal shirts. It was cool. I don't know why that was the shirt.

I didn't see any other regulation shirts, really. I think I saw a pigeon shirt. But everything else was the black and white metal shirt. It was wild. And there were so many awesome regulation community members that came out last night. Oh, hell yeah. And it was very cool to get to meet some people in person and put some faces to some names. It was a show called Answer for it that James and Elise Willems do.

They brought it to Austin. So we did a live show in front of a lot of people, including, I would say, most of our coworkers that we had at rooster teeth. Yeah, that was about half the audience was ex-rooster teeth. That was nice. Big turnout. Hey, you know what? Really good to see Mike Pertil again. Shouts out.

Tony, Tony was there. Tony was there. It was a lot of fun. It was a cool show. Me and Jeff were on a team. James asked questions. And then you come up with, you know, like you and your team come up with like funny answer and like you're riffing and everything.

And most of it felt like me and Jeff lamenting that we used to be funny and were able to do this and now can do this no longer. Yeah. And also, they don't want the right answer. They want a funny answer. But Eric and I knew the right answer every fucking time. So it was either answer correctly or like try to come up with a joke, but we're not funny anymore. So, yeah, it was. I think it was okay.

The audience seemed to have a good time. And, you know, the other people on stage were very funny. Obviously, James and Elise are hilarious. But, uh, yeah, man, I definitely, I hadn't performed in front of people in over two years, I realized. And, uh, didn't miss it. I enjoyed getting to see everybody and I enjoyed, but I don't.

That's very fair. I don't think it's something I'm like, I don't know, clamoring to get back into my life after doing it one more time. I'm like, oh yeah, this is what this was. And I definitely felt like I lost my fastball. It was, uh, it was a lot of fun. It was like, uh, I kept telling that I kept trying to get Gavin on instead of me

because I didn't want to, I was like, this is not, I'm not the right. Like, this is like not my wheelhouse. Like funny. answer right on the whiteboard thing is not. You do a great job. Yeah, we did good, but we just, you know, we just kind of relied on pandering to the audience, and that seemed to really work out for us.

Like, we made, we made, we made, we made Ray Lay, you know, let's play. And I drew a foot, and I said it was for Nick. And so it's, you know, it worked out. Every time we gave an answer, we'd give the answer and then below it, I would write like, Mark Nod. Mark Nutt. He broke Mark. Mark, not.

Or just some dumb, Achievement Hunter reference, or Griff reference. And they'd go crazy. Yeah, it was fun. It was a fun show. And there were a lot of people there and everything. But, yeah, I don't know. I felt the same way, kind of, Jeff. Like, I think if we did a podcast live, that is different than doing a format like that.

I'm just not, I just don't do well in a format like that, I don't think. It's just not. Sure. I think we did fine and I think the format was great and like I said we were bolstered by funnier people on stage in Elise and Jessica and Blaine

and Barbara and James but yeah it just like it was interesting because I hadn't done something like that in so long and I think about it from time to time because live events were a big part of what we did for many many years and I always enjoyed them but getting to do it again in the best possible scenario on my home turf to an audience

that's primed to love everything we do with people that I genuinely love and I'm excited to get to see and hang out with and spend time with. And I enjoyed every facet of it, but the act of performing, I just, I realized that whatever that desire is has left me. That's interesting. Yeah, it's fun. It's fun, but it's also like, I don't know.

Doing that at that place with an audience that was excited for it was very exciting. But I think if that was like, if we were doing, say it was like a podcast tour or something, and that was like night eight of 12 it would be like dude we got four more nights of this like that would be tough when sure

I think like the riffy fun of like doing this podcast the way that we do it now is always just so good I'm sure we'd like build up our stamina for it again but I definitely felt like my my skills in that

capacity had atrophied significantly I mean that makes sense did it make you want to do live regulation less Yes. Wow. I think that was the whole point of his story.

It just made me want to do live less. I'm not opposed to it. I would do it if you guys came to me tomorrow and said we wanted to a tour or something. I'd be all about it. But I won't be the one leading the charge for it ever again. I guess is why I am. Yeah, for me, those were always things that I was always, I was extremely nervous to do, incredibly thankful when each one was over that it went well.

And then it was kind of be like, okay, we've done that. But then we would go and do it again and it would be fine again and I'd be, but I would never feel comfortable at any point. I would always be really thankful that the last one was over and that all of them went well. Yeah, it was always like just, just don't fuck up, just don't fuck up, just don't waste everybody's time, just don't fuck up. And then that's the best you can hope for her. You just described like the entirety of my feeling of almost every episode of f*** face that we recorded. Really? Oh yeah, absolutely. Terrified. Every single one? Most of them, yeah.

Why are you more relaxed now? I don't know. I think about that. I don't know when it happened, but it eventually happened. I feel like I'm more nervous about regulation than f***-face. Really? Yeah. For performing in it?

Yeah. Interesting. We've swapped. I guess I gave you all my anxiety in that regard. Andrew got his 10,000 hours and he's hit that, he's hit that rhythm. And I'm probably more on Gavin's side where the stakes are so much higher. now for regulation than they were at rooster teeth, or at least with f***ase,

that I've been nervous all the time about it, I think. I'm worried about, like, you know, obviously I care deeply about making sure we can continue to do this and, like, the support and all that, like, usually incredibly stressful. But the act of just performing specifically so much easier than it was during almost the entirety of fuckface for me. That's interesting.

Way more comfortable. You're hitting your prime. the other day I was just looking at Jeff's pictures of his McDonald's one's upside down by the looks of it oh really

not the picture the burger in the burger count yeah the top the top one is a McDonald's Big Mac and the bottom one is in and out

okay but anyway I was looking up the thing and I noticed Andrew's Andrew put a burger in recently and said 75 in brackets morning burger from yesterday

yeah and I just want to hear more more about this morning burger. Oh yeah. Because like a breakfast sandwich, like an egg macuffin, you said wasn't a burger.

So you just had a full-blown morning burger. I had a leftover burger that I had in the fridge. I was hungry. I grabbed it and I ate it. What time was that? I don't know. What time did I post it? Well, you said morning burger from yesterday.

So I don't know, 6 p.m. the day after? Oh. I don't remember. This was such a. non-significant moment to me that you are so captivated by. I have because morning burger blows my mind. I've never

working up craving last night's burger. It wasn't even that I was craving it. It was just, that was, I had food readily available. It was leftover. I just grabbed it. It was there. It was there. I get leftovers. I have leftovers for lunch. I'm hungry now. I woke up, I was hungry. I wanted to eat something.

I ate a burger. Now morning burger is not a typical thing in my menu, for sure. Like that is, I don't know, the last time I've ever had a morning burger, I probably won't have another one for a long time, I assume. But... Maybe I'm just imagining it worse than it. What kind of

burger was it? Was on it? I don't remember any details about this. This was just a burger amongst a sea of burgers. But is it a burger you cooked at home? No, definitely wasn't it. It would have been something I ordered from somewhere. Maybe like a McDonald's burger, went out,

got a McDonald's burger. Had a leftover. I don't know. I don't know why you're choosing this investigation four weeks after it happened. Because- You've had so many opportunities to talk about it. A, I forgot. And B, I think I would, if, even amongst a C of burgers, I would remember a morning one. I would remember all the details.

Yeah, well, you have like six burgers a year, so I get it. I assume you remember all of your burgers. Yeah. Hey, Andrew, tell us about Burger 43. What one was that one about? Oh, now that. That was a special one. I have no fucking idea.

Gavin, do you think you need to eat a morning burger so you can see eye to eye with Andrew on this? You don't. Yeah, dude. I do. I do. I just can't imagine. Like, I got no issue with a burger. It's probably a six out of ten for me as food goes.

But in the morning, like, I'm imagining like 9 a.m. I get my coffee. It would probably be a three. It just in my imagination. Put an egg on it. Put an egg on it. Yeah. He's got you there.

Yeah, Nick's helping. Dude, they sell it that way at Waterburger. Let's go. I do think you need to try a legit standard hamburger for breakfast, Gavin, because it may you may realize that Andrew is so far ahead of you culinary and you had no idea. But it's really not. Like, you're eventizing it in a way that was never part of my thinking. I had a leftover burger.

I was hungry. It was in the fridge that is next to my desk. I don't know. I mean, you specifically wrote it as morning burger. He's down playing it, but I think he's, I think it's brilliant. I think it's really moved. I got to agree with Jeff. Andrew, Andrew is just talking up this morning burger as such an, like an impressive thing that Gavin,

you got to try it, man. You got to do it. Well, it makes me think, maybe I should order over the next month, 24 burgers and have one at each hour of the clock to see which is truly the best time to eat a burger. So you're looking to like quadruple your burger count or what? Now, if you want to go into the burger lab, I'm all about that. Let's get burgers at all different hour. Now, Gavin, that's a decade of burgers for you. That's true.

Maybe I should do it over the span of a decade. Well, don't do that, but... I just think a 5 a.m. burger is going to make me throw up. It's not going to be any good. I would like to know what hour of the day a hamburger tastes best to Gavin. I think we need to do this. We need to get in the burger lab and figure this out. We need to maybe sliders.

So it's like four of them is one burger. So he can... Do you think that's a bit of a cup out there? I think we determine three is a burger officially. I think so. I think you need, I think you need like a McDonald's burger. Yeah.

No slice. Does that sound good, Gavin? You want to eat that? You want to eat a McDonald's burger two hours ago? Well, actually, you know what? Honestly, what's your favorite burger? Uh, I don't. I can't believe.

You asked that question like there was going to be an answer. Like, what's in it or like, where's it from? I guess, are you fine with a McDonald's burger? Like, is that a, a standard for you? Like when you think of a hamburger you want to eat, what hamburger pops into your head? Yeah, where you going?

Yeah, I guess I'll keep it simple and say Big Mac. A Big Mac, now that's kind of crazy to me. What's crazy about that? Coming from the morning burger guy. I would never do a Big Mac in the morning, even if it was in the fridge. That's too much. What?

So you know what burger you wouldn't eat, but you don't know what burger you ate? So you understand the morning. No, no, no, no, no, no, let me reverse. Let me reverse. I had to work through this a little bit. I'm not opposed. It's the Big Mac is the issue, not the timing or the size.

I don't like Big Macs. Oh. So my repulsion, I had to process it. It wasn't that it was in the morning or that it was big. It was that it was a Big Mac and I would be equally repulsed at any hour. Quarter pounder in the morning? That's a lot, but like I'm not as disgusted by it. That's why I'm annoyed that you can't tell me what you'll,

morning burger was. We can tell you what it wasn't. It wasn't a big back. You know what? I will look. I can see if I have a receipt or something and I might be able to figure it out for you. Do we want to place any bets

on where Andrew's burger came from? Is it possible the burger would have come from a place we're not familiar with? Like a chain or a local restaurant? Absolutely it is. Okay. Well, it limits our ability to do this. It does.

That place in the mall. That's what I'm saying. That's what immediately had thought of. It could have been a joke. burger. Did you order several and you only ate some? Is that why you had one? I believe so. I think I ordered two and I only ended up eating one the night before and I put the other one in the fridge. And you reheated it? No. You ate it cold, didn't you? Yeah, cold. Man, a cold hamburger is not like cold pizza. It's getting worse. Gavin. Gavin, Gavin, it's fine. Gavin, imagine waking up,

you roll into the kitchen, you're like, oh, I'm going to have a bit of espresso. You make your espresso. You got it all poured it's ready to go, then go over to that fridge and you go, ooh, cold hamburger. Yummo. And then you sit down at your table with your little hot coffee and your cold, cold hamburger, and you take a bite and then you take a sip. Wow. I want to be clear. Okay, well, we're not having a coffee.

Not a coffee drinker. So get that out of my face. What are you drinking with this burger? Water. Oh yeah. What's your good morning drink? Just a glass of water. Yeah.

When you wake up and you want to like start your day, is it just water? for you. You don't have like a energy drink. There's no coffee, no tea, no nothing. Not an energy drink guy. Probably the healthiest thing. Yeah. I just, I feel like, in my head, I'm imagining the morning burger being a three out of ten. But if it serves cold Big Mac, that's a zero.

Like, I genuinely think A. A.A.M. Cold Big Mac. I'm not getting it down. Right. And either am I. Disgusting. But a cold Joe burger is a totally different. Absolutely. Smash Joe Burger. Yeah.

Now, I want to be clear, I don't prefer or, like, particularly like a cold burger. I just don't think that there's a good way to reheat a burger. Pull out the meat, warm out. I just, I don't think, like it, no matter what,

I don't think it's a great experience on the second day. Doesn't reheat well. No. I would agree with that, but I still think I'd rather hit it in the microwave and just have soggy hot bun and burger than... Oh, your microwave in the bun as well? I probably would. Probably just throw the whole thing in there.

Yeah. It's too hard to take a burger apart the way I assume this thing was constructed, especially if it's a smash burger. I think it's going to fall apart if you try to dissect it. I can't do hot lettuce. That's not working for me.

Really? I can understand. So not even like a hot salad? Well, the salad isn't... You slight? Hang on. Okay. Well, hang on.

Everyone... Stop what you're doing. What's salad? what you're doing. Shut up. Stop. What the fuck did you just say? A hot salad?

Okay. May not have been the best descriptor. But like when I make a salad, one of my go-toes is I will like cut up a chicken breast, saute it, and then throw it on some lettuce. And it's kind of, it's warm because the chicken is warm. And you describe it as hot salad? I have to go eat my hot salad. No, I wouldn't describe it that way,

but it is a salad that is hot, but I see what you mean. I wouldn't describe it that way. It's just when you said hot lettuce. I went, I like the salad, the chicken salad. I eat, and that lettuce is hot, but it's not like, it's not the same. I don't mind hot stuff in salad,

but a piece of hot chicken in a salad doesn't make lettuce like steaming, piping hot. No, that's true. What about grilled lettuce? I've never, I didn't know you could do that to lettuce. Oh, it's the best, dude. Yeah, I used to grill on-dive all the time. It is so fucking good.

It is the way to go. You're charing like 98% water or something. Depends on the lettuce you're charing and so. What's your problem with that, dickhead? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't char it because it's 98% water. Oh, I didn't realize there was a ratio. Grill whatever the fuck I want. I don't know why I got aggressive there.

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Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility, Canadian new vehicle total registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. That's sort of weird that I feel like I hear a lot about how like the human body is like 80% water or whatever, but I don't hear that about other things. Celery? I don't know the water ratio of like any other being. Oh like how much water is a rat? Yeah, exactly.

Let me look it up real quick. Like I hear that in conversation about people all the time. What is the volume of a rat? They got more fur, so it might be slightly lower. Depends how loud they squeak. That's because of an audio guy joke. I can't find how much percent of rat is water. See?

Yeah. It's my point. What if you Google how much rat is water? Okay. How much rat is water? I wonder what land animal is the most water. 60 to 65, 75% water. Ooh, sorry.

I see 70 to 75% water, so now what? I wanted to go both whites. I want to know what sea animals is the least water. What is a rat's weakness with the hydration? Nick with a vacuum on a lawn. We should we should see

if the land animal that's the most water has a higher water ratio than the sea animal with the least water. Yeah. Go ahead and figure that out. A lot of I'm seeing a lot about hard shell invertebrates,

like mollusks and crabs being 50 or 60% water. So they got nothing on a rat. So, yeah, a rat is more water than a crab. Rat is more water than crab. I think the difference is rats and people, we have to carry the ocean with us wherever we go, whereas the crustaceans are already in it. It's a great point.

Yeah. Yeah. That is a great point. We are our own body of water. Has anyone... Do you think... Go ahead. That's unrelated.

Do you want to continue on? Well, I was driving this boat away. Mine was pretty related, but mine was a little... Okay, you go, you go, you go. I was wondering if do you think ever a hermit crab has come out of its shell because it's getting too big and accidentally picked a human as its shell?

What? What do you mean? Sorry. Like a dead human? Where in the body? I don't know, just like crawled into, like a crevice of a human and just lived in it.

Which one? Which human? Oh, which crevice? Well, obviously the butt. Yeah, like, but, but or a fold or like crotch. Is the human aware of this? Yeah. Well, I don't know.

But I'm wondering, like, what kind of decision making does a hermit crab have, whereas, like, this is the thing. Because I feel like they've used human-made objects before. Oh, like a can? Yeah. The medical term of having crabs would be so different in this world. world. It's no way you'd have one than one. You don't think so? There's so many crevices.

I've got crab. Do they... Hmm. Got real quiet there for a while. You were about to talk. We gave you all the runway in the world. You said a word and then you didn't say anything. Was someone else in the shapes lap?

Yeah, I just didn't have anything. What was that, Jeff? I figured somebody would... I figured one of you guys would dive in when you the silence when you really, I didn't want to interrupt, Jess. No, I didn't have nothing. Will you do it a shape with your hands? No, no, not at all.

You went doing crap hands? No, I wasn't doing, I was thinking, I was going to make some kind of a point about how, like, how they don't, they don't climb into other aquatic animals, like you don't see one inside of a sea or a shark or anything. But then I was like, yeah, but then they come out of land to get into a shot. I just don't know. And then I got lost on my own head, and I thought this isn't interesting enough to talk about. And at that point, it was too late,

and I just figured these guys are professionals, they'll jump in. Oh, you're back on the stage last night. I'll hand it over to Blaine. You're going to ask this. I'm going to go person by person, I think, with this. When I say, we'll start with Nick. Nick, when is old-time rock and roll?

Oh. The six. Gavin went his old time rock and roll. Yeah, 50s. Eric went his old time rock and roll. Yeah, it's definitely the 50s. Jeff? 1950s.

Interesting. Yeah. Because I was thinking about... That's what he's singing about. Yeah. Yeah, but I never put that together as a kid. This was a wake-up thought. I woke up and this is the first thought I had.

When I thought of old-time rock and roll, I always would associate that with the 70s as a child. Isn't that when the song came? came out. But that is when the song came out. So, and he specifically discusses that he does not like this current rock. He likes the older stuff, which would then, I would assume, put it in like the 50s, 60s type of thing. Um, I just think that's, uh, I was just curious generally. I thought Jeff would definitely have a read on it, Eric as well. That maybe Gavin or Nick would

have the same thought of I did of like 70s. I think a lot of people associate old time rock and roll now with like, 70s. All right. I think this has got to be a poll because I disagree. Interesting. We should have like win his old time rock and roll and then put a couple of decades. On the starry versus seven up scale, how

strongly do you disagree? I've seen all the pushback on the starry seven up thing. I still, if I go, I was excited because I went to HV and they had Stari finally. I finally saw it after six months and I was able to get and they had one container of it. And I remember

you know, I soda stream. I'm a streamer. And I used to get my Starry through that. And then they started, you stopped being able to find it anywhere. And then they stopped Pepsi products started scaling back. And then I started reading about it online. And they're like, yes, Starry didn't hit. They're starting to sell it in discount places.

I heard like Starry was big in prisons. They were starting to push it off into places where you have like secondary markets for sodas. And that it wasn't long for the world. There's a whole thing about it online. Anyway, and I still think, I still see seven up more than Starry. or even Fresca or I don't even know if Sierra Miss is still around. People seem to disagree with me online, but 7-Up's way more common where I live.

Yeah, same here. Frankie, Nick. It's been fun to see. I'm just curious about the 70s thing because I was never right about what that song was talking about at any stage. And now I think just because of the distance, how far the 70s is from now, I think when people listen to it,

they might associate it with the time in which the song came out, which is sort of funny to think about because it's a song about how all the music of that time isn't as good as a previous era, where people now have this nostalgia for that time because it's in the past. I do agree with you that 70s music is old time rock and roll at this point. 80s music is old time rock and roll at this point, but yeah. 90s music is old time rock and roll. But you know what?

None of it holds a candle to yakety yak. So Bob Seeger, you were right. I think I was talking to someone once who thought summer of 69 was from 1969 He was talking about current Like it's like it's August And he was talking about how cool June was

Like what? Yeah, it'll never be this good again He wrote it in September He was really excited about it He had to get it down Get it out there so people knew It was the summer of four months ago Jeff, did you drop that

the San Francisco regulation fans, that picture? I did. I saw that on Reddit I wanted to point it out. At a recent San Francisco Giants game on the thank you's wall that they show up between innings, someone in the community thanked the San Francisco regulation fans.

I thought that was really cool. That's cool. That's awesome. Right up there next to Gulf Moose Tango Club. Good job, US, M-T, the UCD Upward Bound crew, the last call bar, and then the San Francisco regulation fans. Does that make one of Eric's Nostradamus picks true?

Like, we're up there in big lights or whatever you picked? That's pretty good. It's pretty big. It's pretty big. Those are large lights. Hey, you know what? Hey, I'll take it. And while we're talking about Nostradamus picks,

uh, anyone else have anything sort of happen or not happen on their picks in like the last week of the time of this recording? Gavin? I may have lost one last night. How are you holding up, bud? Yeah, are you all right, man? Well, it was... Well, I don't feel like I was even that sad.

We were... Okay, England was 1-0-up against Argentina, like 80 minutes. And my body just started filling with dread. And I was right. I sort of came to terms with it before anything even happened. I was like, we're just getting berated. the keepers having to make shit loads of saves.

I was like, this isn't the year. And it was true. It's just what, it's what we do. It's what we've always done my whole life. I'm used to it. Now, do you, are you taking some of the blame for the loss? Well, I think I have to. Yeah.

This, I knew you were going to say that. Yesterday out of the blue, Bernie Burns texted me and he said, hey, how's Gavin doing since the loss? And I said, I don't know. I haven't talked to him yet, but he's probably, he's probably not great and he said

I assume he's blaming himself for it and I was like you know that's probably been on yeah what do you think he did wrong yeah what did you do

believed you know just interfered with the universe yeah how many how many times do you believe and not believe

during a World Cup run I'd say I'm 70 30 favoring favoring not believing but does it flip flop Yeah, does it flip-flop? There's about as much non-belief

in me as there is water, I think. So... Okay. As much as a rat, you have rat levels of belief? Oh my God. So slightly less disbelief if you're in the ocean. Let me ask you guys a question. I saw a list.

Watching all this World Cup lately, it made me look up the most viewed sporting events in the world. So I have a list of the top 15. Ooh. What do you think the most viewed sporting event in the world is, first of all? Super Bowl. World Cup final?

Anybody else want to? Yeah, is it not the World Cup? Is it not a World Cup final? Oh, it's definitely the World Cup. It's 5 billion people watch the World Cup. Whereas the Super Bowl is number nine with 125 million. You look at this list and it's like, I look at this list and I was like, man, shut the fuck up, America.

We don't, our sports suck. The NBA Finals is number 15 with 10 million viewers. It's the most important two weeks of the year in my life. And it's so fucking infinitesimally small compared to the 5 billion people that watch the World Cup. Or the 3.5 billion people that watch the Tour de France. Or the 5 billion people that watch the Summer Olympics. Or the 800 million people that watch the World Cup of Rugby. What's the...

Nick, did you think? Super Bowl would have more viewers than the World Cup? That's a good question. No, I think I just threw it out there because instantly my mind goes to ratings in America. Yeah, it's the biggest event in our year in America. Yeah. Yeah. Well, aside from like probably a Mr. Beast video. Yeah. That's a good call. I feel like it really highlights how small something like pickleball is on the scale. Even though the Champions League final is bigger than the Super Bowl. It has 145 million viewers.

Super Bowl does 125. How many people are in the UK, Gavin? Like 70 million or something? It's not a lot. 68 million or something? Yeah. That's crazy. But the Champions League is more than the UK.

I understand that. Yeah. Is like cricket up there? Is cricket like number four or something? Cricket number six. Yeah. It was a 1.6 billion viewers for the Cricket World Cup. So it goes World Cup,

summer games tour to France, women's World Cup 2 billion, winner games, 2 billion, then cricket, then World Cup of Rugby, then UEFA Champions League, than Super Bowl, Wimbledon. A lot of sports that the US isn't as good. Yeah, World Series, 34 million. Twice as, three times as big as the NBA finals.

Geez. Wow. Yeah, with cricket being, having so many Indian and Pakistani fans, that's going to hugely inflate the others. Sure, that makes sense. I just, it, I looked at that list and it just made me laugh because we take these sports so seriously in America, the rest of the world could not care less.

Right. Which is a well-known fact, obviously. But you just to see it represented in a list is, it's pretty stark. Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. Was there anything surprising on the list to you? I was surprised that Tour de France gets three and a half billion viewers. I didn't realize that big. Wow, really?

That's a lot. Yeah, it is. It's the third biggest sporting event of the year behind the World Cup and the summer games. Or I guess not year because the summer games every four years. But yeah, dude, three-half billion views for the Tour de France. I had no clue that it was that big. Yeah, that's crazy. I've never seen it.

Nothing else really surprised me. Other than that the NBA Finals is like just a fucking pittance compared to the Masters gets more views. The Kentucky Derby gets more views than the NBA Finals. The NCAA Final Four gets more views than the NBA Finals. Does that make you feel better, Nick, that the Spurs, like so many, so few people saw them. Yeah, nobody gave a shit that it was fine and nobody cared. Maybe if I hadn't been surrounded by the people who wanted it to happen. It did happen.

Is this so funny because NBA is so, like, culturally... Pervasive is not the right word, but it's so culturally important in America. It's a leader for fashion and for music and for so many things. I would say it's the sport that's the most imbued into the pop culture, yet it's by far the least popular sport

in terms of viewership. Do you think it's because the series are too long? Yeah. I think the season's too long, yeah. And I think they make it impossible to watch. So how are you going to be a fucking fan if you can't watch your team in your town? That's a great point. Get fucked. Get fucked. Get fucked. Much like Jeff's ankle was under a garage door. That was made out of wood.

Uncle got fucked. Forty-forty-five years ago. Forty-five years ago. I can still see that door like it was yesterday though and I still remember happening. And I was thinking actually after I told you guys this story, I think I've never admitted the truth to my mom. I think I've been maintaining the lie that it was an accident the entire time. Whoa. I think if she might be finding out listening to this episode that I was Indiana Jonesing the whole time and not. What I told her was I wasn't paying attention and I fell down and then it landed on me.

You should call it now and ask. No, I'm good. Oh, I don't get in trouble. I'd like to wait a week. That's very fair. Oh. Shall we wrap up? Yeah.

What time should my first burger be? 9 a.m. 9 a.m. You want to start? Okay. I was going to suggest noon. What, what answer did you want? He wants to ease into it.

Yeah, yeah, Nick's right. I thought I was going to ease into it. What do you think? Spin the wheel. Like, what is... Yeah, there you go. It just... Put it on the wheel.

We're doing 24 hours. Is that what's happening? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Nick, you have to... to record this. Okay.

What about you? I'm not doing it, so Nick, you have to record this. Okay. That's easy as that, I suppose. And that's why Nick would be great in the military. Yep. And the first burger. I guess we'll say this, we'll call this midnight.

I'll just put, I'll just, I can just do this. It's just right. 24. No. No. noon and then one, two,

what's that? Two, three, four. Because it would be so confusing otherwise, like I don't know, oh, I got to eat a burger at 15. Fuck off. Like, grow up. I'll have one at three.

Grow up. Here we go. Okay, so this is all. P. There we go. Jeff, this looks right, right? I'm happy. That's fine with any way you want to do it.

Military time would be fine too. Let's spin this wheel. Well, how many times do we want to shuffle? are we keeping it because it's hours of the day, you know? I think you can keep it in order. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Now, question, before you spend, before you spend. Okay. What's the second burger? Do we spend, do we remove that time and spin the wheel again? No, I think it's just an hour. You go an hour forward each time. Right. So if we land at 3 a.m., the next one's a 4, the next one's a 5.

If we landed 3 a.m., you have to eat a 3 a.m. burger, and then the next one's a 4 a.m. burger. This is, this is a wheel with us. It's going to land at 3 a. at 9 a.m. And this whole thing was pointless. It's just going to be the exact number that was virtually great.

Oh yeah, probably. All right, here we go. Gavin, you say when? When? Gavin, your first burger will be. Ooh. That's a good start. He's it into it.

One time? To it. One p.m. That's a pretty ideal time to have a hamburger. I mean, hey, Gavin, you can start today. I could. Yeah. It's true.

He's not going to, but he could. Does he have to do it in 24 consecutive days? Like once it begins, it goes? No, he doesn't. No. I wasn't talking to you. It needs to be the less than 10 years or whatever. Like, there needs to be. Otherwise, I feel like it, yeah, I feel like it should be, but that other guy piped up and said no, so I guess not.

I don't want my 4 a.m. burger to be slightly swayed by last night's 3 a.m. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's fair. What about like once a week? Would that work for you? It's half a year. Yeah. I mean, he can do it more if he wants to, but I think, like, at least a week based on his burger cadence in general. Like, that's a pretty big ask still. I feel like you have, you have some anger towards my burger cadence.

Not at all. It's your anger. I have a question. You travel a lot. You find yourself in the UK a lot. What happens if you're in the UK and you have to eat a burger? What time are you going for local UK time? Are you still adhering to U.S. time?

Like, I think maybe you shouldn't be allowed to eat a burger when you're in the UK. I think it skews everything. Oh. Yeah, that skews it. Why? Okay. I guess if it's like a McDonald's burger, it doesn't really matter. I don't know.

I just... Do you think that their burgers are like so inferior? No, I just think it's more of a... It's the time change. It's the timing. What if I have to wait a week until I'm adjusted to the time zone and then I can resume?

Okay, that's fair. You have to be fully adjusted to the time zone. Yeah. Because otherwise you're eating a 9 a. A.m.m. burger over here is a 5 p.m. burger over there or something. Yeah. Six have a different.

Friends, we'll say a six-day adjustment period has to occur. I like it. That's fair. I agree to those terms. Let's do it. Excellent. I'm shaking hands with everyone right now. Great.

Trick back. Trick back. All right. Gavin's in the hamburger lab. I like this. You going to take us out, Jeff? Wait, what am I saying about it, though? Just a number out of ten?

I guess, yeah. And then you come up with your thoughts? Okay. All right. We were about to agree on all of it and like, okay, you're going to eat a burger at this time. And then it's Gavin going, okay, so what am I doing though? And it's like, cool.

So what was this? And that's the end of episode 115 of the Regulation Podcast. Started strong, ended. Ended. If you got to end before you can start strong again next week with 116. We hope to see you there. In the meantime, eat your burgers. Bye bye.

Bye. Bye.