F**kface - Bunce & Quince // Pig Parts Draft [86]

Episode Date: December 31, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about 86ing, table for wallpapering, desk reveal, fun facts, B&Q, Bov Mong, tape invention, sap tap, stickiest country, Gene Wilder, pig ass, pork cuts, blade steak, Pig Parts Draft, secret mayo, white foods, womps and gloggles, FIFA Netflix, Red Dead Redemption Netflix, barista interaction, interactions, small talk, James Cromwell, President, and a ruling. Start this episode at 10:50something PM. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey with me, as always, Andrew Panton, Nick Schwartz, Gavin Free, Eric Badoor. This is episode 86, and I was thinking about this morning while I was taking a shit. This is the second episode 86 we've done. That's, uh, we've, uh, we've done, uh, we've done two of, two of a bunch of them. What's true? This is the 86 86 second episode we've done. I'm just speaking of this one in particular, but,

yes, you are correct. I wonder how it compares. Oh, that's actually an interesting point. See, you had me in the first half, Jeff. I wasn't, I was like, this is a ridiculous, fun fact, but now comparable one-to-one, interesting. It's an interesting setup. It also means to sack it off, right? 86 something, yeah. Yeah. 86 something. Oh, you're right. I will say in episode 86 of Fri-Face, Jeff proposes the laundromat where he can

launder money. The money laundromat. Yeah, yeah. We made a shirt of that. Good Lord. Yeah. That was a cool shirt. You're right, though, Andrew.

That was a fun fact. Why doesn't everybody go around the room and share one fun fact? And then we'll all be a little bit smarter. Gavin, go. I don't think a table made for wallpapering makes a very good desk. Wait a table made for wallpapering Is that a fun fact What is a table made for wallpaper

It's one of those little shitty Like chipboard tables that you lie down A piece of wallpaper on before you put it on the wall Disgraceful to sit at I've never seen one of those Oh are you never wallpapered No Oh

You have? I think I helped I think I helped my dad out when I was about Seven or something Let me look at one of these wallpaper tables. I have no idea what he's talking about. Would I get wallpaper from a Home Depot? I've never even thought about where I'd go get wallpaper.

You might have to special order it, but yeah. Have you ever thought about how you put the glue on? I thought you just, I thought, honestly, until you said it right now, I thought you got a big roller and glued the wall and then just stuck wallpaper to it. Same. Probably could do that. Oh, okay. who's probably the same, right,

if it's on the paper on the wall? 2025, I imagine wallpaper self-adhesive, maybe even. Yeah. I'm looking at these wallpaper tape. They look fine. They kind of look like wrestling tables.

Can you post a wallpaper table so I can get a look at what we're talking about here? It just, and Andrew's right. It does look like something that the Undertaker would put Stone Cold Steve Austin through. Absolutely. But they are narrower.

Is it like a, are they typically not even or something? Gavin or they're like easy to tip over? There's just nowhere for my legs to go. I've just like all crunched up like there's no I'm like, it's just shit in the way. Okay, wait. So you're just using it.

Okay. Can I ask buy a desk? Are you? How did you get a wallpaper table? Well, I thought it would be easy to quickly go and get a desk without buying one online.

It's super not. and I ended up going to Home Depot equivalent and pick it up this bad boy for 30 pounds Wow! I mean it's just the leg design because when you said I got no room for my legs

the one that Eric posted is the WWE style table you'd think of where it is two things on each end zero support in the middle where Gavin has more of like a cross-sectional leg thing. Yeah there's just nowhere it's not designed to sit at No, that's horrendous.

Yeah. What are you sitting on? You sitting on a wallpaper chair? Yeah, what is that? It's a chair, just a chair. It's like a vanity chair. A vanity chair? Like you'd find it in front of a...

Vanity? I guess, yeah. A vanity chair. I gotta say, America, a bit of a dumpster fire right now. Things aren't going great. Haven't been for a while. Get all the criticism, understand it. But I feel like 365 days a year,

24 hours a day, I could get a better table within 15 minutes, anywhere in the country, probably. I think you're right. Easy to get a table in America. I'll say that. Vanity, now I'm looking up vanity chairs. What is a vanity chair?

Well, let's don't get carried away. I've done my fun fact. Let's keep going. Oh, that's a good point. That's a good point. Nick, what's your fun fact? Identical twins don't have the same fingerprints. Well, I guess that makes sense, but it makes them not so identical, doesn't it? Exactly.

And they can't accuse you of a crime you didn't commit? Well, they can accuse you. Maybe they can't convict you. But they won't prove it. Now, when you picked this wallpaper desk, Gavin, were there multiple wallpaper desks?

Or was that the only one they had? No, there was, this is one type. Okay. And it was just the only table in there, in the whole of BNQ. Huh. Got any books? If I got any books?

You can raise it up. But, Nick, that's a, That is an insane suggestion. Because for it to be his legs to go under all the cross-sectional, the desk would have to be above his head. It goes all the way down. Yeah, I'd be stood up.

He would then have to reach up to do anything on the desk. Does B and Q stand for Bunce and Quince? I hope so. I've never looked it up. What does it stand for? Bonnie and Clayle. There's no D in it. Yeah, that's my first mistake.

Do they all look like that? Is that like the traditional B&Q warehouse setup? Because that, that looks fake. That old British architecture? Yeah, well, you got like the gardeny bit, the greenhouse bit. And then you've got the, like, Home Depot bit in the back. Even the same color as Home Depot. Yeah, it just looks, it just looks like Home Depot.

Yeah. Well, it's just something about like the font and the way that it's shaped. It looks like a pitch image and not a real photo. It might be a rendering. Who knows? What you won't find on top of them either is a British flag. which you will find an American one on the top of every Home Depot

for some reason. Really, there's flags on Home Depot? It's because we're proud of the chairs and the tables that we're selling at our Home Depot's in America. Oh, wow. B&Q's older than Home Depot. Wow. I like that there's a sign in there that says,

you can do it, like Rob Schneider. Short for Block and Quail. Block and quail. Wow. Andrew, what's the Home Depot or B&Q and Q of? Canada. Oh,

it is Home Depot. What was that? What happened? Are you okay? Are you okay, man? I had to sneeze. You threw it to me while I was in the back swing of a sneeze and there's nothing I could do about it. Yeah, we just have Home Depot.

It's just Home Depot. We have Lowe's as well. I don't know if that's Canadian, but I don't think so. It's Home Depot. But we don't have flag. on our Home Depot. Well, you probably don't have the table selection that we do here down in the States then.

You know what, that's a good point. We did have a hot dog guy, which I feel like is an essential part of the Home Depot experience. I actually wasn't looking, I should say I wasn't looking for a desk in a B&Q. I was looking for a fold-out normal table

before people go apeship about why I would actually go there for a desk. Oh, that's the end. Right, right. I didn't have like an office max nearby or whatever. So you don't have,

a car or you don't drive. So do you take an Uber to the B&Q and then they Uber your table home with you? No. Oh. The end. I went with Dan. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Okay, that makes sense. Thank you. Yeah. I like that none of us considered that he had friends or family there. Well, he said no and it went like, well, this is a mystery. It was just so assertive with his note. Eric, you got a fun fact for us? I do. The raccoon's little bandit mask is actually for anti-glare,

so it's like they're wearing little sunglasses all the time. Oh, and that's why baseball players do it. That is, I think they probably, I don't think they do it because of raccoons, but they do it in tandem with raccoons. So yeah. Solidarity. Yep.

Yeah, baseball raccoon solidarity. Andrew? Now when you went to the B and Q Yeah Was there a hot dog guy in front of it? Oh That wasn't Is there any food stands at all

Like maybe a baked potato man Since we're overseas Like a bovrilmonger or something Oh a bovromonger Yeah they have a bov mong outside or what Could we God could we start a bovro monger Like a traveling bov trailer

Bobmonger I don't think we should call it bov-mong. No, I think it's fine. Unintentionally offensive is why. I think it's fine. Bavril monger. And is it like a food truck? Is that what you're thinking, Gavin?

I think it should be. It should maybe have like a little fold-out awning as well for the rain. Are people in the fish industry, the only mongers? Well, the cheese monger. Oh, there's a cheese. You're right. From last week. I mean, are we pod mongers?

I don't know. Are we the pod mongers? Oh, this is a picture of a horse-drawn cart of emergency bovril. Yeah. They don't need that. You can always enjoy bovril. It keeps. You know what?

That's a slogan. I do appreciate that. That's all it took. That's all you needed for a sales pitch. It keeps. It keeps. One horse carriage for that bovril. I'll be honest. I'm really surprised at the tape on those boxes.

What do you mean by that, sir? How do you mean? I just didn't think stuff back then had like cellar tape. Like packing tape? Yeah. I imagine boxes being like twined shut. I didn't imagine tape. Is that real tape?

What year do you think tape was invented? I'm going to look it up. Nobody else do it. What year? Oh, fuck. Okay, well, let's think about tape for a minute. I thought clear plastic tape would be in the last 50 years, I would have guessed. In the last 50?

No, I don't, yeah, I could see that. 50? 50? I just think transparent shit was hard. Ha! You had your windows and then, like, other stuff was difficult. So you think, you think tape was invented in the mid-70s? Uh, oh, I guess the last, yeah, I always think that, um, it's the valetium, but it's not, is it?

Jeff was alive and they made tape? They, I was alive when they made, when they invented tape and the five-five. Uh, modern adhesive tape was invented by Richard Gurley Drew at 3M, who created masking tape in 1925. Oh, wow, that's actually later than I thought. However, I thought it was going to be like 1908. Adhesives from tree sap and such have been used since 4,000 BC. Surgical tapes existed in 1845.

I think it's just masking tape was a 1925 invention. So there were other... Oh, clear cellophane tape was invented in 1930 by the same dude. Okay, so it's 30s, not 70s. Yeah. All right, decent.

Have you considered using tree sap to hang your wallpaper, Gavin? I don't have a sap tap. A sap tap? Well, how do you get a sap out of something? Is that a does it do product that I missed? Don't you tap it in? I mean, I think it exists already.

Yeah, you tap it in. It's just the sap tap sounds like such a great made-for-TV product is the thing. It's not that you're wrong in anyway. You're totally right. You do tap it in. Isn't this like what your country does, Andrew? Aren't you guys like tap and sap constantly? Oh, we cannot stop tapping that sap.

We're sap-tap-taping left and right. are making molasses and all kinds of stuff, right? We got maple syrup. It's Canada the stickiest country. Oh, there's no way. That is a great question. That is a fantastic question. They seem to export a ton of sticky stuff.

That's true. I guess we do have... Yeah. You know, my brain, though, immediately goes to go to London as the stickiest place. What's sticky about London? I think Charlie and the chocolate factory is why my brain does that.

What? Wasn't that Germany? Is it? Okay, well, the Germany is where I'm thinking. Gene Wilder just feels very British to me. Why? The American man in Germany? I mean, I know he is very American. He was obsessed with British people. He loved the British, and I think he just sort of exudes a British energy. To me, I'm not arguing that everyone should feel this way. I'm just vocalizing.

What do you think is the most British movie he was in? Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. What do you think the second most British movie he was in? Frisco Kid. I think you might be basing your opinion entirely on one film. Young Frankenstein. The one where he wanted to fuck a sheep. I haven't seen that one.

Blazing Saddles? Blazing Saddles is a good one. But not British. he doesn't well is he I don't remember that movie he just strikes me as a very British man I don't know what to say how about a fun fact

okay fun fact let me think you kind of threw it to me here last minute trying to think no I think you all we all had it equally bud you actually had the most time uh Gene Wilder's dad

here's my fun fact Gene Wilder's dad didn't want them he was he was against he was against pork but he loved ribs and he loved bacon

and this was a puzzling thing to Gene Wilder his entire life against Paul how like he didn't like pigs there was a time in which Gene Wilder wanted to buy like pork chops from a store

and his dad was vocally very against it he's very upset by this and he couldn't figure out why because they would eat ribs every week at a restaurant and he would cook him bacon and he finally asked him as an adult and the reason was

is because he doesn't view those things as being from a pig because he developed this because his mom hated pork but to her pork was just pork chops essentially so Gene Wilder's dad's an idiot he had a very unique views

about pork Do you know what I just realized If I was looking at a spit roast Like a hog roast Like a whole suckled pig spinning around I wouldn't know which bit to bite That's the beauty of a suckled pig

It's all good Yeah You think there's parts of it You shouldn't bite Yeah we're not No I just be like I don't know like where the bit I usually eat is

I wouldn't know which bit Would be the best first bite On the animal Maybe like Above the back leg or something You think the ass The part that you go for For the first thing is the ass

Gavin said it straight to the ass Yeah he's going to ass first No not the ass just like above the Like over the ass Okay Lower back It wants to be ass adjacent But not ass direct

Do you ever think about that With like a cow Here's a question What is the best pig meat? It's probably It's probably bacon, don't you think? I really like pork ribs. Ribs are real good.

Are we talking flavor? What else would be talking? Nick has, Nick has, Nick has it broken down. Are you talking nutritional value? I'm talking to fullness. Nick is opening documents and going to categories for what his favorite pig parts are based on different criteria. Bacon's best flavor, but it doesn't fill you up.

It just keeps saying fullness. Just eat more bacon. What do you mean? Okay. You got my document. I like a honey-baked ham, I must say. But I think I'd probably pick bacon too. Like if I could only have one piece of pork for the rest of my life,

that piece would be bacon, probably. Crispy. It's super crispy. It's still getting me. Just if you want to get full, eat more bacon. And Nick's rebuttal was okay. I mean, if you insist. We're talking about one bite of a pig.

You talk about fullness. Like, it's a mouthful. Bacon's heavy. Bacon's heavy. Like, it's dense? Yeah. Salty. Salty.

What a pig neck taste like? That's why you don't like hot dogs. It's all pig neck. That's true. You've had pig neck. You've had pig neck and pig knee and pig foot. You've had pig ACL. You've had pig Achilles.

All the things that sports players tear are you've eaten as a hot dog. Pig lap. Ooh. Yeah. Ooh, pig laps. Not a lot of animals with laps. Do you think if a pig worked out at a gym a lot, it could get abs? I don't know that, yeah.

Yeah, you know what? I feel like I've seen muscular pigs. Yeah, yeah, muscular pigs is probably a thing. I think I've seen those. I thought upright gives you abs. Is that another made-for-TV product? Upright. Upright gives you abs.

It keeps you abs. Like, does stuff in all fours get abs? Upright keeps. Uh, oh, dude, Gavin, you're going to want to eat this. This is like, this is your territory. This is right what you were talking about earlier. That is a muscular pig ass. Here I'll help.

That's the other angle. Gavin wants, I guess Gavin wants E or F on the diagram of this pig. Why is it so low? That's a low ass. Well, that's a giant set of balls. Oh, that's bulls. Oh, yeah. Do you not know the difference between ass and balls?

Uh, those, them bulls look like us. Them balls look like ass? Got so much balls, they're ass. You're not wrong. Pigs balls are as big as its head. Oh, that must be the ballsiest fucking pig on the, on the whole farm. Doing crazy stuff. I mean, that pig's fighting horses and whatnot, other farm animals.

So a male pig can't sit down? Not comfortably. You mean like upright? You couldn't sit at a table? I think it would struggle upright. I think it would sit at a table, maybe not a wallpaper table, but, you know, like a regular table, I bet it could. Yeah, no room for its legs. There you go.

I googled muscular pig sitting down. That's how it would sit. Which is right on its balls. I get that I've sat in that position I understand I would love to release someday a book

it'd be impossible to do but a book that's just prompts that we've searched for on this podcast like muscular pig sitting down is just a page

Andrew why have you sat like that well sometimes you sit in bed and you want to kind of like stretch the back out and so like legs left and right and then you lean forward I've been there

Arms for support? Getting cozy? It's a good position. Well, wait, let me zoom in, actually. I'm looking at this pig. I actually disagree. It's got both feet on one side that's fucked up. I've never sat like that.

I didn't notice that. I assumed it was one leg each side. I've never done the double leg to the one side while going, that's fucked. That pig's sitting in a fucked up way. Speaking of pig, I have a breakdown of what's from where. Okay. Okay. Oh, great.

Pork cuts. So we got side is pork belly, spare ribs, ground beef, bacon. Loin is a bunch of things. You got your chops, your tender loins, your roasts. Canadian bacon. Leg slash ham. Gab, I think you're a leg ham guy probably. So you're a bone in ham, smoked ham, smoked ham hawks kind of guy.

I feel like that's the closest to the ass. I'm just blown away that the Boston butt is on the shoulder. Mm. Mm. Wow. Kind of feels lying, huh? You lied to? I've never heard of a blade steak.

That sounds awesome. A blade steak? Have you ever seen a blade steak in a supermarket? Stop saying blade steak. Blade steak. Fights vampires. It's of context as well, Gavin. Here's the pig and what's where.

So that bust a bust butt you got right on the top. Oh, Gavin's a ham boy. Big time. Oh, yeah, I'd be up there. I'd be out there bite in jowl. Yeah. I, uh, I like, I really appreciate that they also said, uh, hey, by the way, foot. If we were going to do a draft, if you can, you only live off one pick part section.

Oh, wow. Based on this, this meat thing. It's side. I think side hands down. Number one. Undeniably, the first overall pick. spare ribs pork belly bacon and ground pork

is definitely the most versatile I would think you can do a lot with it yeah I don't know man there's a lot going on on the loin that's what I've been saying one two three four five six seven eight nine different cuts of meat out of the loin

cubes what's last time you had a pork cube I feel like that's the thing that comes with ramen pork cube isn't that pork belly I feel like

the little like flavor cubes the pork cube oh oh like stalk I don't know I don't know what you mean we're doing a big well we all get one pick

but we have to do it right we have to this has to be an official in episode pig parts draft very quickly just for what everyone gets one pick

because there's not enough pig parts to go around. So we have to do a pig parts draft, but in order to do that, we have to randomize who goes first, who gets the first pick. And this, no snake draft here, just all the way straight through one to five. That's it.

So how many times are we randomizing? Eight for eight parts of the pig. I love it. One, two, three, four, five, Jeff Gavin, Eric, Nick Andrew, six, seven, Andrew, Jeff Gavin, Nick Eric. Uh-oh. Hey, Nick, Eric, Jeff, Andrew Gavin.

Very interesting. Nick, you want me to just write down foot for you to start? No, no, no, no. I never had pigs feet. But I did let Gavin's advice of eat more bacon. So I'm going with the side. Okay. Side's off the board.

Side is off the board. I think I'm going to go with the loin. I like the loin. I think there's a lot to pick from there. The loin is looking good. So now we're down to, what, six pig parts here? Jeff, Jeff, next is your pick on the pig parts draft. So side and loin are off the board.

Correct. I'm going to have to go ham. Oh, man. Ham has been taken. So side, loin, ham. Andrew, you have the second to last pick on the pig parts draft. What do you got? You know that scene in Looper where Paul Deano is getting tortured and he's older and he's losing parts one by one?

I'm just imagining we're taking sections of this pig. and now it's just down to spare ribs. It's just the front half. Dragon is it's got no back legs anymore. It's just no, yeah, just the spare ribs and the shoulder. Well, okay. I'm not going to take the jowl.

Okay. Is that, well, do I, mm. Because I'm, no, no, I don't want it. Boston butt, I think, is just one type of meat. It sounds like, it sounds like that's all you're getting from there. But that also can't be right, because that's a, huge section of pig to be dedicated The Boston butt is what you used for like shredded pork

and stuff like that I think Oh, I thought Boston butt was like a dish Like pole I thought it was like a steak cutt Yes I believe so Oh hell yeah Cornitas all that I think is Boston butt Oh well then I got to take the Boston butt

All the way Okay Boston butt is off the board And Gavin finally With our final pick on the pigs park draft What you got Gavin? What's left? Spare rib I will say if you take

the picnic shoulder it's like front butt Mm-hmm You can get the front butt You can get the front But you can get the fanny Because Tuckus is gone

I mean I think I'm going I'm going to spare rib Okay Reb has been taken boys That is the pig parts draft Nick has taken side. I have taken loin. Jeff has taken ham.

Andrew's taken Boston butt and Gavin takes the spare rib. Let us know in the comments who had the best pig parts draft from this episode. Fascinating. Spontaneous. Yeah. You know what? It just felt right. It felt right.

I like a little mini draft that doesn't have to be a whole production. No, no, no. Just especially with something that's so limited. The pool is pig. And so. The pool is pig. Yeah. And so there was only.

There's only so much you can do. Yep. There's only so much you can do. I have a food-related question for Andrew. Bring it on. A few episodes ago, you were talking about how you don't mind mayo if it's like a secret. Yeah, secret mail. Yeah, absolutely.

What if I dyed mayo red to look like ketchup? Oh, I'd be all. Yeah, that's fine. Totally fine. Wow, that is a great, Gavin, that is a great question. That is phenomenal. Okay. Well, hmm.

I here, okay This is where it's Yes, I would have no problem I think I would visually have less problem with it But I would never I never use a condiment that said mayo on it still Even if it was red What if it was dyed red in a ketchup ball?

Oh Oh for sure, that's fine Because I'm good with aoles I just need the label to lie to me I love, I've this is, I've talked about this. I love an aoli. I love a fancy mayo, but it's not, it's different to me. I can put a differentiator. I can lie to myself that this isn't mayo. This is aioly. So how, like if you had a Hellman's Aoli, would you go for it? Yeah, absolutely. Do you just don't like reading the word mayo? I don't like

the word mayo. I don't like how it looks in the thing. It would have to be a squeeze bottle. Opening a jar of mayo and just looking at the remnants is so gross to me. It just looks terrible. What if I kind of want to go through your fridge and dye everything red and put it all in a ketchup bowl So then I just don't know what anything is ever? Yeah, it all looks like different ketchup Cets Don't you think it would fuck with your head though to get like Well obviously man this is disgusting and no one should ever eat it

But like let's say if you made mustard red but it tasted like mustard don't you think it would just confuse you? Yeah Yeah It's like when you drink something that you expected to be something else oh that's true yeah it is always jarring when like you have something you can and it exudes one color and then you pour it out

and it's like imagine white orange juice that look like milk that would trip you out would you not have it then Jeff no you wouldn't have white orange juice I don't think so I would if they called it spooky juice

what if I made your face Favorite barbecue sauce, white. Yeah, that's fine. There's white barbecue sauce. Oh, there is? Yeah. That's the thing that exists.

Check and mate. It's pretty popular. What if I made your barbecue sauce brown? Have you thought about that? What if your sprite was clear? I want to try training Jeff on white food. I don't know whether it's better to make with the white. Like, make all the white food different colors or make stuff you like white?

The problem is, dude, it's not, I mean, the color, the color's not great. But there are white things that I eat. I'll eat an egg. Boiled egg is white, right? I'll eat ice cream. I'll eat rice, although I'm not the biggest fan of rice, but I will eat it. I'll eat mashed potatoes. So it's not purely the color.

When I think of, like, for instance, cream cheese or mayonnaise, I think of gross, taste. Okay. So you'd have to make them taste like something else too. Like if you could turn sour cream into ketchup, I would probably yeah. Like if you eliminated

all the color and flavor. I'll reverse osmosis mayo into ketchup. The funniest time where I'm confronted with my mayo thing is if I'm ordering a burger, let's say like I'm getting like a door dashed to McDonald's

thing. And McDonald's may be using a great example but if it has like mayo on the burger I will have a moment where I'm taking other stuff off and I'll look at the mayo and I know that I think it'll taste better with it on it but I don't like approving it so I just I have to I look at it and then I just convince myself I'm going to forget that it's there and then I continue but there is always a dilemma where I look at it

to opt out of it and I go no and it's better with it on are you talking about taking it off when you order it or like scraping food off When you order it. So, like, when I'm ordering a thing and it's like, I don't want any tomato on this burger, I'll also see a mayo option typically if the burger has mayo on it. And I will be confronted with, I don't like the idea of knowing that mayo is on this, but I know it will be better with it. I'll just actually, I'll leave it.

And I'll just forget. I'll just force myself to forget. So you just, you only want secret mayo. Yeah, if they had, like, you could go into your account and secretize mayo. you'd never see it written anywhere on the site. Absolutely. Oh my God. What an invention that would be.

I would pay a slight premium for that. Would you pay an extra dollar per order? Oh, that's a lot. No, no, yeah, dollar per order, I think is fair. Wow. I'm blown away. Like a convenience fee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they need to make it a secret fee as well. I can't know about it. This is going to be a list in fees. So it can't be itemized. What if you could just scramble, like, you could obfuscate every ingredient? Huh. Like a hamburger blind box? Like a hamburger would be like one gloom, two fliggles,

and one wamp. And you would just order it that way. Wump? What's a wamp? Can I get mine with no wamp? You could take off or add anything you want. Huh. I don't understand any of what you're saying.

You wouldn't know what any of the ingredients were because they've all been like renamed. Yeah. Oh, I see. Oh, no, that, oh, I really do not like a tomato. A slice of tomato. Slice of wump. A slice of wump.

Yeah, I guess I would just learn. The problem is I'd learn. Would they swap every time what the wump was? Would the wump constantly change? Yeah, I think it would reset daily, and you would never be able to decode it unless you ordered a ton in that same day. What a terrible design for people with allergies to think. Absolute nightmare. What if you could put in your allergies to your profile, and every morning it would say, like, oh, avoid the gloggle.

I want to avoid the gloggle at all costs, even if I wasn't allergic. We gotta avoid that gloggle. I, uh, yeah, I like this. Okay. I think also for, in this discussion, I'm realizing, for how my brain works, you could put all of your subscription fee as an additional fee and lower the price, and my brain would be happy about that, even if it was the same. Lower the price of the item, but have a bigger fee.

Yeah, so let's say, let's say like a Netflix subscription, hey, we've, it's, it's only $2. But then there's $8 a month in fees and services in like a buy-in-life. So you prefer hidden fees to knowing the price of something? No, it's displayed. Like if I look at the receipt, it's listed as a part of the fee and service. But you're only seeing it at the checkout. Make sure I don't know what I'm doing at all times. This is

I guess a strange thing I'm realizing is I'm vocalizing it The product I think I value the fee and service More than I do the product You value the fee And what

Because if I see a fee and service fee And it's whatever amount I got fees They got services That's fine That's part of this So what if Netflix made their subscription $2 a month

with a $25 fee every month. Well, then I wouldn't pay for it. That's too much money. I just, I couldn't, I wouldn't afford that. But if it was what it currently is, actually, I don't even know. How much is Netflix per month right now? I pay like $25 a month.

Really? It's $20. Well, yeah. Well, I got like that 4K version or whatever. I just upgraded. Did you see, Gavin, that Netflix is going to be the exclusive home to FIFA the game in this upcoming year? What does that mean? That is what I said.

I looked at it and I went, wait. Are you guys, did you do a deal with FIFA so you're going to stream like FIFA games? Like real games? So it would be like watching a like a FIFA game, but it buffers constantly in the app crashes? Yeah, exactly. Okay. That's what it seems. That's exactly what it seems like.

You'll be able to play FIFA on Netflix, I bet. That's what it is. I read into it, but it's weird because EA doesn't make FIFA anymore. They lost the license. So it is a different developer that has made a FIFA game and it's exclusively going to be available to play via Netflix. What am I pairing my controller to? I don't know.

The Apple TV? Maybe it's a remote game. I don't know. So, WWE has something like this right now, but I don't know I think it's I don't know how you play it or what I've never played it

or seen it or whatever but it is a WWE game on Netflix and I assume you just use your remote control to hit buttons or you play it on your phone I assume it's on your phone

for something that's on so many it's like all kinds of different hardware I guess PC gaming is the same but like surely Netflix baked into some dog shit TV OS is going to run worse than an Nvidia a shield or something.

It was very confusing because they said just in time for the World Cup, FIFA coming to Netflix games. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? Is Netflix games

the subbrand of like their, their sports? But no, it's just a new FIFA game not made by EA exclusively playable on Netflix.

Sounds like a mobile game got ported to Netflix. Yeah. I mean, it might be developed for Netflix, but it's the same principle. my best. I just opened up the Netflix app to look at the game thing. If I can find the

WWE thing really quick. And the first thing I'm confronted with is their mobile game section, which is, I think, just crazy for them to lead with. And the first thing in the mobile game section is Red Dead Redemption. Imagine playing Red Dead Redemption for the first time on your phone via Netflix. What an insane experience. Who is that person? Oh, they got 2K25. So it's just like only on mobile on Netflix? Yes. Is there multiplayer?

I don't know. I don't think they've said. Like you want to get a posse going on Netflix? Hey, what's your Netflix code? I want to do a fucking Netflix multiplayer let's play. HDCP though. Ah, yeah. The games and I'm just looking at the Netflix library of games.

And it is quite the Narcos Cartel Wars Unlimited Well that feels like it belongs on your GTA Heist wheel I think that sounds like a Facebook game

It sure does Most Farmville-ass title Kevin have you ever been to Crispy Street That's a name Of a game on here And that feels like you could have

You could have bought a pie on Crispy Street How do we not do that for Advent? A Krispy Street pie Yeah I'd love a crispy street pie. Is it an old game? Oh, it is a game.

It's a puzzle game. Okay. I didn't know what Advent you were talking about. I thought you were talking about it because I said pie and then you said, why didn't we do that for Advent? I thought you meant last year's Advent where you ate a bunch of stuff. Oh. Nah. Now, when you went into the B&Q, was there a big line or was it relatively quiet?

Pretty quiet. And did anyone ask what you're going to do with your table? No, I mean Do you usually ask people Why they're buying something? Yeah, that's what I do in line If I'm in line, I'll just look back I'll just It's not guy with 18 toilet rolls under his arm

What are you doing? That would be the most annoying person To be in line with at a grocery store They just turn around and start asking What you're doing with every item in your cart Oh Oh, you got some strawberry yogurt? What's that about?

You're not a blueberry guy? That sounds like such a realistic future, though. I want this to happen to Gavin one time. Just like go through my, like Fry's style, go down my receipt, asking me about all of it. It's like that experience you were telling me a couple weeks ago. Eric, I don't know if we ever talked about it on camera, but you were talking about it was Gavin's worst ever day,

if it would have happened to him. What was it? Yeah, what was it. I'll tell you what it was. I was going to, I thought I was just teeing you up for it, but you were getting coffee. No, I totally forgot. This happens to me all the time, so it doesn't...

You were getting coffee at Des Nudo. Oh, dude. And I would hate this one? Oh, Gavin. Gavin, we never would have heard the end of it. It would have, like, fundamentally changed the way that you operate. I got a haircut, and then on my way into the office, I'm like, oh, I'm going to stop and get a cup of coffee. It does Nudau.

So I was second line. It was cold out. It's fine. Not a problem. The person in front of me was having a conversation with, like, the barista. It's inside of like a little, like, food truck. And they have like an extended conversation. Like it goes for like a little while where I'm just going like, man, the order's like done.

This is, ah, whatever, it's fine. Maybe they just know each other. It's not a big deal. The guy steps out of line. He's done. And then I walk up and the barista goes, brother, it's going on today. I just went, oh, you know, you know, just keep. just keeping it warm and he's like yeah i hear that cold out there and i'm like yep cold out

here and he's like well what you're thinking and i'm like i just large black coffee and he's like all right nothing else right easy i'm like yeah easy he's like yep just a big cup of joe keeping you warm yep absolutely yeah so what you got going on today oh my god it's still happening And he's like filling it up the slowest you can fill up a cup of coffee just from like the drip. It's not, he's not like making it. It's just from the drip. And I'm like, oh, you know, just going to work, keeping it warm. Yeah, you know it.

And this is going to keep you warm. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, absolutely. And then he, I do, like, we finished the transaction. And then he hands me the coffee. And he goes, oh, hey, actually, one second. Can you do me a favor? And I went, oh, yeah, what is it?

And he went, have a good day. And I went, you got it, man. And then he reached out for a fist bump. I fist bumped him. I walked away and I think that I didn't even make it to my car before I messaged. I just had an interaction that would kill Gavin. I had the opposite experience in a coffee shop to that yesterday. I was buying some Christmas presents and I stopped at a Medici coffee, a little local coffee chain.

Not a big fan of, but it was where I was at. So I walked in. And I was fourth person in line. And the guy was talking to the first person in line was a great. girl, it's kind of a young girl and kind of a young guy. And he was talking to her and I thought, oh my God, it took forever. And I thought this guy's hitting on this girl or whatever. This is going to take so fucking long. And it did. And they had this entire conversation. And then the next person to go up was just like a normal looking dude. And then they had a conversation.

I was just on my phone after a while because I was just fucking couldn't believe it was still going on. And then it gets up to the person in front of me, which is an old lady when I think, oh, I'm great. He's not going to hit on her. And then he, I swear to God, she walks up and he goes Carol oh my God did you change her hair and she goes I got it died and then they had this whole conversation this like 25 year old barista dude and this lady who

was like maybe 62 and I was just in I was dumbfounded it may have taken like literally like 12 minutes for him to get through these four people or three people and then he comes up to me and I have no idea what to expect and he goes what do you want and I was like oh let's take a cold brood he's like all right that'll be four bucks

the fucking zero kindness towards me that was the craziest thing I ever seen. I've never felt less like a local in my life. Wow. Whoa. I mean, that's the ideal version for me, for sure. Yeah. But wow. And it was great for me too if I hadn't seen the first three people go through because then you're like, what's wrong with me? Well, you got to go back. You got to establish a rapport with this guy. I will not. Well, if you want the experience, I'm not going to put that level of work in. I just get so uncomfortable because I feel like even if I'm doing something cool. I don't know how to even say it to someone. Like if someone's

like, oh, what are you up to? My answer's always like, not much or nothing or get me out of here. I can't imagine saying what I'm actually doing. We should craft a lie for you. So you have a better answer. You're going to go, uh, something about laundry tomorrow does do want me. That's exactly my exact mindset. I mean, I'm just like, uh, uh, pick, think of anything. Think of anything. Picket up wallpaper We talked about it when we did the

gingerbread advent thing where Dilbot was going to run over all of the gingerbread stuff and we went to the grocery store and I just made small talk with like the woman at checkout

and I think Gavin went I just want to follow Eric around and see what all of his interactions are like I actually want to just walk behind you with a clipboard and just like write down, go-to sentences, like little quick pivots of just like, just inane sentences that just go so far in society,

but mean nothing. Yeah. I just don't understand how you don't just have like a roster of those. Like, I don't, you just don't have those on standby? I got nothing. Wow. We got to drill Gavin with this.

That's like a skill you never developed. I wonder if that's just like, if that's just like being British. or if it's something specific to you. Interaction? Yeah, I don't know. Like, is that just how British people walk around London and England just not having inane small talk?

Or is that a cultural thing? Or is Gavin just uniquely bad at it? No, it's got to be a double whammy. Do you want to set it up? Do you want to, let's act out a scenario. I'm a guy driving you to work in a car in the morning. I'm going to have a little small pot. So did you hear

Did you know that bees or did they sting? Yeah. I was trying to keep you awake because he snored. That was my wake of. That you bees! If you just shouted, ah, bees. I was once, I think I was at the Austin airport

or some other airport, ordering A.B.'s ice cream. and the guy yeah that'll be this one wouldn't it the guy just comes back with a bowl of ice cream and he just says what's wrong with it and I was like what

it's like what's wrong with the ice cream and he was asking me what do I want on it I guess what? What? I get what he's saying like how do I make this better for you?

Oh that's a fucking crazy way to say I just thought it was insane I don't know You're in the right on that one. Expired, is it on the board? Like he's like family feud with you. He just asked everything in the weirdest way

and then he gave me back my card and receipt covered in ice cream. And I just, I think that was the last time I ever ordered ice cream there. That is not on you. I was in like 2013 or something. That is completely on them. That is somebody who does not know how to do small.

There's two people that don't smallpox. But they're initiating, which is crazy. Yeah. I think we could develop some, some like two or three sentence go-toes for you. Yeah. I need like a little tiny, like a pocket book of stuff. Okay.

So like if somebody, say, say you're at the store and somebody says, hey, how's your day been going? Not bad. How's yours? But, right, but now you're like, now there's like more interaction there. You got to like say something.

See, I think you've got to say something that, like, kind of makes sense. But if you don't, like, if you think about it, it really doesn't. Like, you just, like, if someone were to ask me how my day is going and I'm at the grocery store, I just go, oh, you know how it is? Wake up every day, punch that time clock. All right, hold on. Let's try this. I'm working at H.E.B.

And you're buying, I don't know, the hemorrhoid pets. Yeah. And you're checking, like as you normally do. Hey, how's it going, my man? How you doing today, big guy? Good, thanks. nice nice what's uh what you getting up to today in austin oh what work

working hard or hardly working which is it going to be today yeah what do you there was a car that could come and crash through the front of the store right out of what kind of car I so wish that there was a place that offered discounts if you small talked that there is like a higher baseline price but if you small talked

and had a nice little chat you could get reductions and fill a bar and then the discounts roll in yeah yeah it's like $3 off the item I would go to a place that was the opposite

they give you discounts if you talk less oh wow yeah but that's no fun for what we're imagining with Gavin I want Gavin to have to have to small talk

awkwardly as much as possible that's what brings me joy Gavin quietly shopping I don't want that yeah I need like an Eric phrase book So, you know, waking up, punching the clock or whatever you said. What's the other one?

You know, punch the clock. Oh, you can say, wake up every day, punch that time clock, and then they go, I hear that. And then, like, you know, because that's just sort of like a thing. And then you can say, if somebody's asking you, how is it going, you just be like, oh, you can say, oh, you know, just being like Fred Savage, treating every day like the Wonder Years. And then they'll just, yeah. And they'll just go kind of like, because that, like, what? do you say to that? Nothing.

Now do the same, Gavin, but with a British reference. You say like, oh, wasn't his sister Olivia Diabo? I always liked her. Is that what they would say? So it's like a small talk, Uno Reverse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you're trying to do. You're just trying to get the onus off of you. So that's the end of it. I should just think. What would Eric say? All right, hit me with a piece of small talk. Uh, hey, hey, my man. How's your day been going? number one with a bullet that's it that's it dude honestly number one with a bullet not bad

that works talk to you again after that yeah it's even mean you just became i'll tell you what it means it means you just you just graduated to eric yeah i mean do you say something like that because it sounds like something a normal person would say but there's not really anything like they don't have anything to say back if you don't offer something back to them and what you're giving them He's number one with a bullet. They got nothing. And you're Scott free. But I just, I don't yet have the formula to come up with a new one.

All right, hit me with something. Hit me with a piece of small talk. Go. What's you planning on doing today? Slicing the street up. Oh, man. Do you feel that? Don't do that.

Don't say that one. See, it's hard to come up with them. Live in the dream. I'm trying to invent new ones, though Oh, you're inventing new ones Can I suggest another tactic for you as well, Gavin? Yeah Let's you and I say, I'll be you

And you be the person initiating small talking Hey, how's your day going? No English Just pretend you don't know the language Yeah, but here's what's gonna happen to me though Okay, we'll do that again. How's your day going? No English.

Aren't you, Andrew, though, from regulation? Somebody thinks highly of themselves. Is that used in character, or are you saying that to me now? I'm saying that to you now. You're at the B&Q? You think you're going to get a slow-mo guys? You look like them. It's not hard.

It happens all the time. I can't pretend I'm foreign. No, you can. You just look like them. Try the All right Try the no English thing with me

Alright here we go Hey how's it going buddy You haven't a good day So far No English Well tell Dan I said hi

Big fan When you say no English With the British accent Sorry old chap Don't speak any English It's really something man

Wow Yeah you'd have to change the axe. You couldn't do a British no English. My face is the thing that I can't change though. I mean, with plastic surgery, you could. Do you... Now, do you... With these exercises

that we've gone through so far, Gavin, do you feel like you are in any way better prepared to go out into the world now? Like, do you think this has helped? I think I'm gaining the confidence to try random sentences. For sure. Here's the... Okay. The problem is that this is on the podcast. I can't wait to see how this goes bad. If you pulled the

no English card, I would think as the person, I would think I saw someone who looks exactly like Gavin, but clearly isn't Gavin, because Gavin knows English. It wouldn't, that seems more likely to me than I'm interacting with Gavin and he's pretending he doesn't speak the English language. You think someone who looks like me saying no English with my voice, well, they'll just think, oh, it must look like him. Well, you'd have to modify the voice a little bit.

You put a little effort in. you got to you perform a little bit a slight amount take like 80% of the effort you put in the laser team and put it into the no english okay and you could i think persuade some people hmm have you ever been recognized only from laser team i feel like i've asked this before that would be crazy that would be such a wild that like they have no other points of reference for anything you've done. They've only seen Laser Team. No, I don't think so.

That would be amazing. Aren't you Woody from Laser Team? Was that your name? Yeah, it was. No English. Just go, no Russian. I'm trying to think if I was going to list iconic Woody's, how far down Woody from Laser Team would be.

Oh. Oh, should we do a Woody draft? Yeah. You got a woodpecker. You got a toy story. Harrison. Should I put it on the list of drafts we should do? I don't know that there's enough woodies, but we can look into it.

Wood not wood. Wood not wood. You also might have thrown. I was going to suggest it earlier, but we flew past it. But a pig draft might not be a bad idea. I thought of a lot of pigs in my head while we were doing that. Oh, yeah. There's some great picks.

So just straight up, just a pig draft. Yeah, pig draft. Just a pig draft. Like, like, just pig virus from Howard Stern, you know, Porky the Pig. Babe. Pig iron, et cetera, et cetera. Oh, you want a fun fact about Babe? Yes.

James Cromwell is in that movie. Right? He's the guy, he's the, he's the farmer guy. His dad was a farmer. And I, he never really got to see the peaks of his acting career. He passed before he hit his, like, straw. essentially and when he was filming babe he realized that he was in essentially the exact same outfit his his dad wore and he saw his reflection while filming that scene of the that'll do

that'll do whatever whatever he says pig that'll do and for him that was like seeing his dad essentially acknowledging his career like he was he knew that that was a great movie and that that was a good role. And he looked like his dad. And so he saw the reflection. And for him, it was like closure of his dad seeing what he had accomplished and approving of it. How old was James Cromwell in this moment? 17.

When did Babe come out? 1995? James Cromwell is like the type of guy where he could have been 60. He was like 55. He was like 55. It's a weird, weird age to still be seeking your dad's approval, especially that late into his career. If you never got it. I guess.

Wow, he's six for seven. That's a tool man. Wow, really? That's way too tall. Bet you he's like six, five now. Six, four, maybe. People shrink when they age. That's true.

That's true. Did you guys know that there was a period of time when England was run, uh, what was puritanical, where it was illegal to sing Christmas carols? What? Yeah, it was, you were only, it was, uh, uh, Sundays were the only liturgical days. That was the only day you were allowed to celebrate Christ in any way. So if you were singing Christmas carols or celebrating Christmas outside of church on a Sunday, that was considered a sin.

I read all about this morning. Was this when Scrooge was present? You say president or present? President. Oh, I think, uh, I think it was when he was president. Yeah, he was. was president of England, yeah. Yeah, I remember that.

That was before tape. Is there a president of England, Gavin? No. Because Ireland has a president. A different country has a president? Yeah, Ireland has a president. Aren't you like a citizen of like the British Commonwealth, Andrew? Yeah, well, yeah, it's technically, yeah.

We don't have a president, though, but Ireland does. So does, I mean, so is France. Such as America. Is it like a real president or is a fake president? The fuck does that mean? What's going on here? Because, well, Ireland has a fake president where their president isn't actually the head of the country.

It is like a essentially like you're the mascot of the country from my understanding. You have like no essential political influence and you're actually not allowed to leave the country if you're the president of Ireland while you're president. You can't go out of, you can't do like foreign negotiations From my understanding.

How confident are you in all of this? 85% sure. Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. Eighty-five is pretty high. I never, listen, it's a better grade than I ever got in high school, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna trust you. It was purely based on, uh, this is where it falls apart. No, no, this is where this is cemented in the fact. Hunter McGregor wanted to become president of Ireland and people were like, that's not, you don't understand how any of this works.

you're basing it off of you just understand American politics in their system. You don't understand how the hierarchy actually works here. President is not in control of the country in any way. It is essentially a mouthpiece position. If you could be a mouthpiece for anything, what would you be a mouthpiece for? Like the spokesperson for something. Oh, what would I advocate? The way did I mask is something I use every day.

and I really enjoy and I lose it sometimes and it does make a significant impact in my sleep when I don't have it do you only have one I only have one and I wake up often in a panic of having to do something day starting I go ah and I rip my head mask off and I'll just I'll lose it why don't you just get a five pack

I could I guess I got this I got this this one is like a Christmas gift and it was a little, it was like 50 bucks. I'm not going to get five of them. Oh, wow. I want to say. Yeah, there's a Christmas, I think last year maybe where I was like, I'm going to really focus in on sleep. That will be the thing that everything I asked for is about sleep optimization. Put an air tag in it. Yeah, do I need an Apple thing for an air tag to work? I don't know. Because if I just have the Apple air tag and no other Apple products, I might be in trouble.

You have an Apple laptop, don't you? No, it's gone. Oh. I had an IMac from 2013, and it's retired. I probably wouldn't have worked anyway. No, probably not. I couldn't use Google on it anymore. I couldn't update it.

I couldn't use Slack on the browser. It was a whole thing. No way, air tag. It doesn't even know what an air tag is. I'd have to teach it what an air tag was first. Well, what if it was my air tag? and if you lost your eye mask, I could tell you where it was.

Oh. I like that. I like that a lot. As long as it's kind of near an iPhone in the building, I think it would work. Oh, do air tags make beep noises? Yeah, I can beep them.

Okay. Well, then, yeah, that works. We could do that. You'd have to be prepared to get a lot of texts saying, hey, I need my mask. I like that. I would always know where your bed was.

Yeah. Yeah, you would. As long as it beeped, I lose my phone all the time, and I needed a beep. We should, Eric's telling us we should wrap this up. Before we do, can I, can I get a ruling on something real fast? Yeah, of course. Now, it's a pointless ruling, but it's more for edification, because I wasn't going to use it either way.

But when Emily and I were out this morning and we stopped at P. Terry's, I was starving. And I grabbed an breakfast, right? And the only thing they have at P. Terry's for breakfast is an egg burger, is what it's called. Here's a picture of the menu right there. Now, the egg burger is a hamburger bun with, in my case, it had a fried egg and pepper jack cheese and bacon on it. And on the menu, it's called a burger. Emily asked me, are you going to count that as a burger? And I said, absolutely not. And she said, but it's called a burger on the menu, so you should be able to. And I was like, what's, I think correct. I think I should

be able to count this as a burger. But it feels against the spirit of the competition. it feels against the spirit of what we're doing and so I decided not to count it but what I would have been right to I'm not done it even way but I would have been right to count it because it's listed as a burger on a menu right it's listed as a burger on a menu I think our classification

was you kind of know it a burgers that looks like a burger it's a burger on the menu even though it has no ground bee for Patty or anything yeah totally absolutely okay yeah I thought I thought so too but once again, I'm not going to count it because I just, it just doesn't, I don't know. It's not what I was thinking of. I understand.

Yeah. I wouldn't, I wouldn't even venture. I wouldn't even venture to count it. I wouldn't even think to count that. Well, maybe it needs to be slightly less. Like, it counts, but if you had 10, it would only count as nine. I get so confusing.

We already have the slider scale we got to deal with. That's true. The slider scale does already throw a curve in it all. Okay, well, thank you. So I feel like my instincts were correct there. Yeah, you're absolutely great instincts, but if somebody did count it, that would be fine too. It would be fine.

But once again, personally, I'm not going to count it. Absolutely. It's what you want your list to be. All right. That's great. Also, not a competition. Not a competition. It's not in the slightest. It's just a count.

And I'm thinking maybe I need to back off on some hamburgers in the new year because I'm getting cold. I'm not riding my bike. And suddenly I'm packing on weight. And I'm like, how am I? Why are these jeans tight? And then I went, oh, 41 hamburgers and two words. Speaking of in the new year, can we do a countdown so people can listen to this?

10. Because this comes out. 9. 8, 7, 6, 5, 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1. Happy 2026. Wow, incredible. Happy New Year. Thank you so much for listening to Regulation for an entire year.

Boy, do we appreciate it. And we have so much ahead to delight and entertain you with in 26. Just don't ask what it is because we don't know yet. And then we should put on the description, like, start this episode at like 10.50 something p.m. Yeah, it's okay. Start this episode at 1050 something. P.m. You got it. All right, guys, we're locked in. We'll see you next time. Bye. We'll see you next time. Bye. I love you.