F**kface - Burp Taste vs Piss Smell // Is Gavin the Weird One Now? [143]

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about cover intros, Geoff's burp, hanging out, Andrew vs the toilet, cabinet knob is the piss, return of the root canal, Gavin's non-filter, one star Ubers, the TV that fixes itself is still broken, driveby root canal, dynamics of a toilet goat kick, feet hatred, and pastrami. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail]  Sponsored by Honey http://joinhoney.com/face Shopify http://shopify.com/face and Tales from the Stinky Dragon, listen wherever you get podcasts. Already a FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. Right before I came, like right as I was coming into the Discord for Pleasantries,

I had to burp, but I like, I like tried to burp, but I was like doing other stuff at the same time. So I wasn't paying full burp attention and I accidentally kind of swallowed the burp, you know, sometimes you do. And it's made me so sad. I don't know why. I just started to feel really bummed out and sad the second I swallowed my burp and I can

feel it in there and I want it to go away bummed out and sad the second I swallowed my burp and I can feel it in there and I want it to go away, but it won't. And now I just have this like phantom burp that won't leave me alone. Could you taste it? Yeah, yeah. It tastes like Schlotzky's. So I had Schlotzky's.

Oh boy. Well, Gavin's here. There's the episode number. Go crazy. Episode 143? Yeah, it's 143. I gotta get these burps out. That actually, I'm gonna write down a note right now for this episode.

It's fucking depressing. What's that? I need to find a clip of it. I don't know what it is. I've been racking my brain for days. So I watched the does it do's that have been finished that are to release at some point. What'd you think i loved them i had so much fun genuinely made my night i was laughing so hard you guys did such an

amazing job with it but there's a point in which jeff jeff tries to eat something and it is the most like visceral physical reaction i've seen outside of a boxing or cage for fighting you genuinely look like you got wobbled like you moved exactly like somebody who was about to drop for being knocked out due to getting hit in the head and i don't i don't know what fight it is or who it is but i know you you just like you have it so it's the same thing so i've been in my head trying to go through fights figuring out what wobble you essentially copied and you're just displeasure of experiencing one of the things that you had to consume eric doesn't know if this is the episode i think it's the episode yeah am i recording just about to say the number of the episode

it is episode 143 welcome to face podcast that is hosted by jeff ramsey gavin free myself eric sometimes comes in you may be hearing nick laugh i'm not sure i think we're gonna hear nick laugh now right yeah this is the first one where nick's not on mute why didn't you laugh during that nick that wasn't funny enough it's just gonna be anxiety and calling out Nick for not laughing or laughing too hard was that a better intro

I had to do the intro last episode two episodes ago and it was not good because I did not plan it before we started we're doing pleasantries Jeff you weren't here yet I think I mentioned it in the episode but Eric had a different recording setup and he said do not throw to me like just whatever you do don't throw to me i want to talk as little as possible and he didn't want to say it while you

were there because if you knew that you would throw to eric as much as you possibly could within the episode so oh come on that's absolutely you i i don't know how you're so fucking incredulous about it there's no way you would not have done that all you would have done is gone you would have just gone what do you think about that eric over and over and i was on a laptop with like no microphone i know i don't know that that's true at all i do anyway you were saying andrew i was saying just that that that was that was the instructions given to not let you know. And as soon as the show started, you're like, well, it's the intro time. Eric does the intro.

Eric, take it away. And I went into panic. I was not anticipating that. And you can tell. We just go, oh, no, I'll do it. Oh, this is the show that Jeff does. And then this is Jeff. I Jeff does and then this is Jeff like I think I intro'd

you twice and there's one other point like in the middle where you're like I want to hear what Eric has to say and I just say nope we're not doing that we're moving on you just kept taking bullets I felt it seems so rude like I was like fuck you Eric you're not speaking but there's no context for

the direction given. But I think that was a better intro. That was a step up. I was a little bit more prepared for that one. You nailed it. I thought it was awesome, dude. That's great. Yeah, and you really covered for... I was dealing with some internal sadness because of a burp situation, and so you covered for me until

I was able to get that sorted out, which I really appreciate. So, you're really into figuring out urine smells. You're not into figuring out burp tastes. No, I am. It tasted like Schlotzky's. I know exactly what it tasted like. I just had it.

But, like, the range of burp flavor is something you would not want to explore in the same way that you seem to have an interest in diving deep in the piss. Well, I don't... I just think it's... I mean, a burp is going to smell like what you put in your mouth.

It's weird to me that something that comes out of your dick will smell differently because of something you put in your mouth. You know, I just think it's more interesting. Well, it bounces back, though,

from like it goes in your stomach and then back up where it came. I almost feel like that strength, like a bouncy ball as opposed to goes in one hole does a straight shot down and out a lower hole that makes more sense to me the bounce back is crazy in my opinion gavin where do you feel where do you weigh in on this uh i i feel like stuff that comes out your your butt is more interesting. I feel like there's more... Oh. I feel like...

That is a deeper... He's more of a butt guy. Yeah, because it's not coming back up through the same pipes. It's more of a conversion. Can I counter that? Can I explain to you why the butt is the least interesting? Because everything you put in your mouth

comes out of your butt for the most part right is there an exception well except for the piss yeah but the piss the piss is water right that came in through the mouthful it was consumed things that come out of your butt are like the past they're what's behind you like literally and figuratively you ate it. It comes out of you. Your body is so disinterested in the butt that it shoots it out behind you so that you can keep walking forward and not even look over your shoulder. Whereas pee and burps come like you're confronted with them because they are the present and the immediate future in front of you. A burp is almost never a surprise. It's like, oh, yeah, mackerel.

A piss is only ever piss, coffee, or asparagus, none of which are a surprise, because it's like, oh yeah. But sometimes there's a fart that pops out, where it's like, what on earth? What has happened? Have you ever had a surprise burp? I have had as many surprise burps

as surprise farts in my life. I never forecast my burps. But you couldn't identify the meal that the burp has come from? Well, it depends. I think generally I could, but when I eat something, I never assume it's going to come back as air in the same hole.

It's going to bounce back up through. That's not an expectation I have. I do assume I'm going to shit this out when I do consume burp. That's an inevitability we can't avoid but the burp is not like that's a bonus it's like a surprise thing it's like i don't uh when you do like a scratch and win and you got the little space at the bottom that's typically like try again but sometimes you get five dollars on it that's what that is i never assume the burp is going to come back with the flavor but it it does happen sometimes. And I think it's very unpredictable when it does.

Do you know how like sometimes you'll see on like TikTok or Instagram or YouTube like security cam footage of like a grocery store, like black and white kind of grainy footage and some lady or sometimes a dude, but I find it's a lady more often than a dude will just be like walking down an aisle and then she'll just like squat down and just like pop out to like pull her pants down pop out two logs pull her pants back up keep walking like it didn't even phase her or him i hate to say i know exactly what you're talking about i see i see those videos all the time where it's just like this this crazy person just took a shit in a grocery store and kept walking do you think you could ever do that i don't know how somebody can shit and move in such a fluid motion.

Like it's an event for me to, first off, I haven't taken a solid dump in like eight years because of the mural acts and the diverticulitis. So it would look like a Jackson Pollock painting in the grocery store. But like, do you think you could do just not even break stride and just like shit and move in 15 seconds and just be about your

business like nothing ever happened i don't think i could i always wondered what it would be like to take a shit at full sprint and whether it could even be done oh god i just don't i don't see my i think it's more of a mental block for me yeah it just feels uncomfortable so we need to create like the first ever diarrhea run where we all try to kill ourselves well i don't think it'll be the first ever i don't think anything with butt or shit will be the first anything you think anybody's ever had like a race where everybody has numbers on their chest and they stand up in a line and then somebody shoots a pistol and they all run with diarrhea buttholes but what okay damn what was this episode no i have idea. What if it was a long jump, but they measure where the shit flies out?

So you have to try to launch it while jumping. It's not where your feet land. Are you saying the shit would give you a little extra boost? No, no, no. When you jump, you know how typically you're trying to extend for where your feet land? And this one, you're trying to propel the shit midair. You're trying to do a roll or like a twist like a hip flex So you want to spin over forwards or backwards and fire one out under your jump exactly?

That's exactly right like a long shit jump As opposed to a diarrhea run, which I feel like that's tougher to measure. Well the Olympics isn't supposed to be easy That's true. These are trained seasoned athletes. Is this in our Olympics along with Frisbee and cornhole? I don't think so. I don't think so at all. I do have a new sport for us to enter into the Olympics that I think you guys are going to love

that we can get to at some point. Eric and I came up with the other day. Really? I feel like this has been an interesting week. I have spent so much time with all of you like outside of regulation time spending.

Like I spent half a day with Eric at a baseball field this week. I played video games with Gavin but not Andrew all night last night. I filmed a secret podcast with Andrew this morning.

Nick is the only one I haven't hung out with this week. It was as shocking to me as it was you, Gavin. I got... Jeff texted me this morning about Nick is the only one I haven't hung out with this week. It was as shocking to me as it was you, Gavin. I got Jeff texted me this morning about a thing and he said it would take he's like like 45 minutes or something and it would be half that. But he's like 45 minutes. So in my head, I was like, OK, so we're recording at 1230. So that's like 1150 ish for me. And he's like, cool, I'm just going to go home and take a dump and then we could

record and i was like what are we doing what are you talking about i had an idea at a coffee shop and i immediately left the coffee shop to go record it with andrew hey but you immediately left to take a shit and then you recorded it well yeah the shit the shit presented itself on the drive home the shit wasn't a part of the idea. I hadn't had that inspiration yet. Boy, do we have some supplemental content for you. I do not think you're going to want to watch the YouTube release of Jeff's new show. Coffee shits. But the point is, I've had some really fun, interesting times with all of you guys this week.

I really appreciated the extra time. And then, Gavin, you and I are going to hang out tonight after work. Yeah, we've got time to come. Yeah, we do. Oh, that's kind of weird. How much time is needed to come, Gavin? That's unfortunate. That's a real misstep

by you. Gavin, our friendship is so not awkward. We're hanging out two days in a row. I know. Great. That's fucking pretty regulation. Oh, Eric says, is that why it's so cold today? a row i know it's great that's fucking pretty regulation oh eric says is that why it's so cold today yeah i think it's because of our plans it was uh 28 degrees yesterday and today it's like 12 it's fucking dog shit today i went for a bike ride and t-shirt and shorts yesterday and was still hot today it's fucking 40 degrees outside i have a shit story please tell us your shit story yeah so i gavin

got part of this already oh can i should i read out what you said before ending the conversation immediately go ahead dude i'm in such a risky scenario right now i replied what scenario andrew said it's like i'm trying to shit on an ice rink. And then followed up with, ignore this. It is now for the podcast. And I replied, four ha's. I didn't anticipate this being a podcast story, but I was, I woke up. I was doing stuff on my phone. As one does.

I'm groggy. I didn't realize I had to take a shit, i i had to and it was like you know when you're trying to like pass through a pebble and you just can't get it out but like it's it comes out like 30 of the way and you just can't like being constipated almost but it's like you're trying to get this out but it just won't is it like one of the ones where you have to give your asshole a little breather and potentially kind of yeah, but you don't want to stop almost like you're in a 127-hour scenario. Like you don't want to lose whatever momentum you have. Yeah, you don't want to make the snip.

Yeah, so I'm struggling with that. But before that even happens, so I sit on the toilet, and I've had this issue in the past. These are the shittiest. I mean, no, that's a bad choice of words considering the story, but these are terrible toilet seats. It snapped. That's what happened before.

I think I've talked about it in the past. I had a broken toilet seat that I was using because it was only half broken. I broke the clip. What'll happen sometimes is I'll sit down and I'll go a little high and then I'll go to adjust my body, but I don't lift up.

I just slide and it'll pop off and it broke one. So I broke, I went, bah, like it did the loud pop. I thought, God damn it.

I broke. This is fucking broken. I'm an idiot. Next time I'm going to order two of these. I, this is, I'm so mad, but at least,

Hey, I only have to piss. This is fine. This is where we're good. Then, then the shit thing happened and i'm trying to clench and my seat is broken and i'm wobbling all over the toilet i'm just like going all over the place i'm trying to get like generate force to push but i can't because the seat is

sliding all over it was like doing a grind and tony hawk like i was just going from corner to corner and it was broken and I couldn't do anything about it. And I'm doing stuff on my phone so I can't, I'm losing a balance point that way. That's when I texted I'm on an ice rink,

because I was skating around my toilet trying to fix this. Surely then you're at risk of your cock and balls slamming into the inner rim of the main seat. There's all sorts of risks going on.

And this is the start to my day this is how we're going this is the beginning we're just getting things rolling so you still got the grog i still am groggy i'm still putting things together and i'm skating i thought i was just gonna have a nice relaxed start but no i'm trying to shit up this pebble while my seat is going all over the place i eventually after like five minutes give up i realized i didn't break it it just like popped off it's like a snap on snap off so i just re-secured it we're good to go but i spent like five minutes trying to balance and like going from side to side it was the worst shit i've ever had have you ever seen a 3d printer

like mess up the print mid-print and it just starts going ape shit? Yeah, that's what it was. Spewing out spaghetti as it's freaking out all around. I have never wanted shitting shades more in my life. I feel like I would have at least felt cool during the experience.

I've never been more on board with that idea, Jeff, than in that moment. I have a bathroom story as well I'd like to share if you wouldn't mind. Yes. Let's just load up on them right now. Yesterday morning. Was it yesterday or the day before? I don't know.

Who can remember? I'm so old. The days, they just run together now. At some point this week, I woke up at about four in the morning and I was in pain. And I was in pain for a reason that we can talk about if you'd like uh i made an error in a previous podcast when i declared uh certain i declared certain eras of my life over and uh and how i was unhappy to be in certain new eras well old eras didn't like that and so they enacted a revenge on me over the weekend so anyway i'll tell the

piece the bathroom space first so i get up at like four in the morning in some pain and i also have to piss and so i go into my bathroom uh like my my pee room uh and above the toilet is the cabinet where i have like medicine and shit right and so i got the lights off because it's fucking four in the morning but i can see from the glow of the of the bidet. Right. It's got like a gentle blue glow. So you can kind of kind of see in the dark. And it's more than enough to do my business without turning lights on and blinding myself. So I start to pee.

And while I'm peeing and kind of swaying and half asleep, I my hand up on the cabinet and to kind of steady myself and then i like i'm like all right i gotta get the medicine out and i grab this then the door handle which is just like a little crystal knob and i grab the door handle to open the door to get out the uh like the leave uh and it pops off in my hand and my hand and i'm like asleep and it's a little slippery for some reason and it just falls through my hand and my hand and i'm like asleep and it's a little slippery for some reason and it just falls through my hand through my piss stream and into the bottom of my toilet while i'm still pissing in my toilet oh no and so i'm just like looking i got a door i got a cabinet with no handle now and i've just got a handle in the toilet and i'm peeing on it and so i'm like

what the fuck do i do and i'm it's do? And I'm fucking exhausted and in pain and tired. And so I finished peeing and I'm like, I'm not dealing with this right now. I'm just going to go back to bed. And then as I'm like, turning around to go back to bed, I'm thinking, no, because Emily will get up to go to the bathroom and then she'll flush the toilet. And then this thing will fucking get stuck in the pipe.

And then it's going to cost me $400,000 and they'll have to rebuild my house for some reason and my roof will fall in and so I was like I gotta deal with it right now so I have to fucking turn I have to like first I have to shut the bathroom door so that there's no light pollution for Emily because she's asleep and it's right next to her and then I have to turn on all the lights so now it's like

fucking 2 in the afternoon in Texas in my bathroom and I have to like I'm looking around and all I can think of to do is just I just have to shove my hand into my pissy toilet and then grab this fucking handle covered in pee

and then shake the pee off my hand and walk over to my sink and wash my hand and wash my bathroom cabinet handle and all that and then put it all back together and then go back to sleep it took me about 20 minutes. Glove? Like, just a glove?

Nah, I wasn't thinking about gloves at 4 in the morning. Like, from the dishes? I was just asleep, man. Couple of wooden spoons? What about, like, a plastic... Did I ever talk about when I tried to declog my toilet? Yeah, I could have got tongs. I'd rather get my hand pissy than my tongs I use for my barbecue.

Throw the tongs away and buy you tongs! I'll just get my hand pissy than my tongs I use for my barbecue. Throw the tongs away and buy new tongs. I'll just throw my hand away. Why are you? I don't understand. Here's the thing. You saving it just so it doesn't go in the toilet is fine. You putting it back on the fucking cabinet is crazy. Well, I cleaned it and washed it.

Gavin, thoughts? Well, I mean, you can clean tongs if you can clean cabinet handles what's true i would never view those tongs in the same way though it would i wouldn't open the cabinet in the same way it's not gonna have pee on it forever soap cleans dirty stuff it's fine now now. Like tongs. The annoy- Yeah, that's- I wasn't there at four in the morning with my middle faculties. I also wasn't looking to open up fucking rooms and bounce it like stomp through the house trying to find fucking kitchen tongs to explain to Emily that I've got kitchen tongs in my hand and I'm digging a fucking crystal knob out of the toilet. There's no way, dude. I think I know what I would have done.

What's that? I think I would have gone in- I would have done a foot job that's way worse because it wouldn't work it wouldn't work just between the between the old what episode is this is this 142 this is the one where gavin is becomes a weird guy yeah talking about coming on time and now he's a foot guy like just a weird dude yeah 143 might be the one where gavin really like comes into his own here i would look no i'd like to stick a foot and you just kick it out i'd like to reframe this for you gavin i think you might have a shift of opinion on this whole cleaning of the tongs thing i'm kind of with jeff on this if you were if you were at jeff's house, right? And he's doing up a meal.

And then you're getting something. You're using the tongs to grab something, like some food. And he was like, oh yeah, those tongs were in my toilet once when I pissed in it. How would you feel about it? Regardless of how it was cleaned. You're not going to enjoy that. It would ruin the meal. You can disinfect stuff.

You can fill it with stuff. Gavin. Yeah. It's four in the morning. Right. You put your hand in a pissy toilet. You take your hand out. You walk to the sink.

You clean it off. It's four in the morning. You put your foot in a pissy toilet. How do you clean that off? You hop across the whole bathroom slinging piss foot and then take a shower is what you got to do. That's the worst thing you could do in that situation is stick your foot in a pissy toilet. That is the single worst thing

you could do. The weirdest part about this whole thing to me is that Jeff is very concerned about staying like half asleep while all of this happens. Once you wake up, you're awake. You're fucked. You can't go back to sleep.

I don't want to lose three hours of sleep because of one fucking dumb moment. I feel like as soon as skin touches piss, you're awake. Yes, 100% agree. I'm thinking just using the foot, like fling it out like a goat would kick someone. Just like fling it.

Now you're flinging piss across your now you're you're a psycho dude you're fucking wrong like in your fiber in the core of your being there's something wrong it's it's not a fling from within the liquid it's like a foot goes in you sort of clamp it against the bottom you smear it up out of the water and then oh god it's so much more gross what you're doing it's on my foot though it's like a dirty i don't want my you just made like my hand i'm not gonna make a sandwich with my foot the next morning jeff anytime gavin comes over i'd make him wear three pairs of socks after this conversation he does not the way he views his feet, they're monstrosity. Whatever's going on down there. I'm weird about feet

in that I assume they're already dirty. It's like some people really like touching their shoes and they'll wear shoes on the couch. They'll put their hand on the bottom of their shoes.

It's all disgusting and filth. It's horrible. That's why if I'm going to use something to get dirty, I want it to be the thing that's already dirty and I already treat dirtily. This is as

an aside, but I'm right there with you on the shoe thing. There's nothing that grosses me out more than when somebody's shoelaces run tied and they're walking around stepping on them and they're like, oh, I don't care. It's like, you better care because that's piss on the ground. We already talked about it. Birds use this as a

toilet. Everywhere you walk is dog piss and dog poop and animal piss and animal poop. And then you're stepping on it. And then you're tying your shoes with those laces with your fingers. I wear shoes without laces. And if I do happen to wear shoes with laces and they come undone in public or anywhere near a restaurant or a bathroom, if I have to tie my shoes back up, I have to wash my hands. Absolutely.

Straight after. Doesn't excuse everything you said about sticking a foot in the toilet, though. No. Yeah, and I don't like, there's a precision you can use with your hands that you can't with your foot. Well, you can, you also, if you get your hand covered in piss, if you have your hand covered in piss, you have your legs to walk you to a safe space to clean and decontaminate. If you put your foot in piss, you have to hobble or hop on one leg to get clean. Otherwise, leave a slug trail of piss with you where you go. The thing is, it all boils down to this. Yeah, it's going to be less efficient.

It's going to be messier. But at no point in my sleep am I going to put my foot in my mouth. You're going to put your hand in your mouth? My hand is right by my face. I might touch my face you're a you're a fucking weird guy i'm glad that this is finally coming out what are you talking about you touch your face like involuntary involuntarily imagining if it's just been if it's been knuckles into a toilet and i'm at 4 a.m and i want to try not to stay as what and I want to try not to stay... What? And I want to try not to wake up too much. I'm not going to be doing a good clean job

on the old hands. I think it's safer there. No, but the way you're saying it, it's like you're going to fucking suck on your thumb in your sleep or something with your piss hand. It's not going to be inside my mouth. I'm just going to be like,

maybe like a sniffle and I itch my nose or something in my sleep. If that hand is so dirty you don't want it near your face how are you putting that foot on your own sheets that is a fair trade yeah like you'd have to you have to you have to wake up at 7 a.m and immediately wash all of your sheets just wash your hand i saved sleep i was able to go back to bed. I did it right. I recovered two hours of sleep that I shouldn't have got.

I'm happy with the results. I think you did it right. I mean, the more I talk about putting my foot in the bog, the more I feel like I'm on the wrong page. We just spent 20 minutes because you said it was wrong. What was the last 20 minutes? Look, I've come around. You guys have said a bunch of stuff and I'm starting to feel like that was a weird move. It was

strange. I probably wouldn't have done it. I would have thought a lot. I would have probably been down to flipping a coin on whether my hand or my foot should go in. That's part of the problem, though, is you have to know in that moment when you're trying to save sleep that thought is your enemy. You have to act on instinct because the second you start to make decisions, your brain starts to wake up. So you got to kind of just like go on. Just let your body take you. You know, you just kind of decisions, your brain starts to wake up. You got to just let your body take you. You just go where your body goes and try

not to think too much while you're doing it. That's the only way to save your night's sleep. I probably would have just put on a glove. I think I probably would have grabbed a trash bag. I don't think I have gloves. That's a good idea too. I definitely don't have any gloves that I could have used.

Oven mitts, maybe? Yeah, I think at 4 a.m. I would have had one foot in the toilet wishing I just got a bag. That would be my situation. As I fumble around. I had to unclog a toilet once, and I didn't have a snake so I broke a coat hanger and I plan on using that I didn't I didn't want to I wanted to keep my hand safe and so the only thing I had was like a big ziplock freezer bag

and so I put my hand in that then I held my makeshift toilet snake and it broke while I was like arm in the toilet and the water got right to the lip of the zploc and then it didn't go down. It's the closest

I've been to disaster. It would have filled immediately and just completely countered the entire purpose of the bag. And it worked. But I just, yeah, you get a trash bag instead and just go whole arm with the trash bag.

I think is the move if you're in that scenario can we put this episode out absolutely okay I mean you're the only weird one talking about coming on time and piss foot free am I the new piss boy

no no it's that's definitely Andrew but you are no it's not it's his fucking no you are. No, it's not. It's his fucking. No, you're the weird. No, it's his nephew. We assign the piss boy to the nephew when he peed on an entire plane.

He's way more of a piss boy than me. I passed the reins. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey, the easy way to save when shopping on your iphone or computer i love a good deal there's nothing better than finding one it's so excited i'm so excited why did i say it's so excited the deal isn't excited i'm excited whenever i find one and when it's a surprise it's even better and thanks to honey manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past honey is the free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and applies

the best one it finds to your cart. Now how it works is imagine you're shopping on one of your favorite sites. When you check out, the Honey button appears and all you have to do is click apply coupons. Wait a few seconds as Honey searches for coupons they can find for that site. If Honey finds a working coupon, you'll watch the prices drop. I have saved money on clothing and tech stuff, food. I've saved all sorts of things using Honey. I was buying for myself. I didn't expect to save any money on some of those items, and then it was so easy to use. It popped up. I saved $15 on some equipment I was buying. It's great. I love Honey. And Honey doesn't just work on desktops,

it works on your iPhone too. Just activate it on Safari on your phone and save on the go. If you don't already have Honey, you can be straight up missing out. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this show. Get PayPal Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash face. That's joinhoney.com slash face. breadclips, or baseballs, Shopify simplifies selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify covers every sales channel from an in-person POS system to an all-in-one e-commerce platform. It even lets you sell across social media marketplaces like TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram. Packed with industry-leading tools ready to ignite your growth, Shopify gives you

complete control over your business and your brand without having to learn any new skills in design or code. And thanks to 24-7 help and an extensive business course library, Shopify is there to support your success every step of the way. What's incredible to me about Shopify is how no matter how big you want to grow, Shopify is there to empower you with the confidence and control to revolutionize your business and take your business to the next level. Now it's your turn to get serious about selling and try Shopify today. This is possibility powered by Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period atify.com slash face, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash face to take your business to the next level today. Shopify.com slash face.

Did you see Stranger Things and think, I wonder if I'd like D&D? Have you watched House of Dragons and thought, hmm, what does a dragon smell like? Or are you a D&D veteran who just loves the game? Behold Tales from the Stinky Dragon, a hilarious audio D&D podcast. It's a show for the D&D amateurs and veterans alike with top-tier storytelling, immersive sound design, an original score, and special guest voice actors each week. Join Dungeon Master Gus Sorola every episode as he guides Barbara Dunkelman Chris Damaris Blaine Gibson and John Reisinger through an epic and hilarious campaign why do you think your listeners might enjoy the show because it has a bunch of really funny people in it

if you're somebody who has any interest in D&D I would highly recommend checking it out even if you don't think you do I know I'm someone who didn't think that D&D would be a thing that interested them. And then I was introduced to it, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I'd expect. So I'd highly recommend you check it out. So go listen and subscribe to Tales from the Stinky Dragon wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you. So let me tell you about my luck.

Okay. let me tell you about my luck. All right. All right. We've already covered the storm and the ice apocalypse and how I had to live in a hotel. And then I had to live in an Airbnb and then I had to rent another Airbnb and then I got to move home and then I couldn't get my money back for the Airbnb. And it was all kind of fucked up because I was leaving in two days to go back out of town anyway for Emily's birthday. All right. Did all that.

Everything's fine. Move in to this little town in Lockhart or a little town called Lockhart, just southeast of here. It's like a little old barbecue capital, but they have just these amazing houses. It it's like 30 minutes outside of town, but it feels like worlds away. And there's these huge like century homes that are just absolutely gorgeous and emily loves this one particular one that we like to airbnb so we just went there for two days had a big party they have a heated pool we invited a ton of people over gavin and meg didn't come eric and barbara his lovely small wife did come thank you for showing up eric appreciate that uh had a great time had a great day uh uh had a whole like two-day thing. The first night I get there,

go to bed and thinking, finally, I can relax. I went through this whole rigmarole with the house and power and have slept in nine different beds in the last week. This isn't my bed,

but I'm at least familiar with this place. It's a comfortable, cozy, relaxing place relaxing place finally i can just fucking relax go to bed get awakened at about three in the morning by searing tooth pain come on first thought is i i this is my fault for declaring that the dental era was over now top left back tooth second to the second from the back tooth is just throbbing in the exact same way that my tooth hurt a year ago when i had that surprise reroute canal remember where you thought it was over and then suddenly they're like ha ha fuck you do it again right so i just like fucking i don't sleep from that moment on and then i have to get up and prepare for emily's big day right and so i'm like and it's saturday so there's like nothing i can do i even i even check at four and four or five in the morning i. So there's like nothing I can do. I even check at four or five in the morning.

I even check. There's like, there's no dentist open in Lockhart on a Saturday. I'm not driving an hour or 45 minutes to Austin on a Saturday. And also there's no dentist open on Saturday. This whole idea of like 24 hour dental cares, hospitals and shit is, it's all,

it's all bullshit when you start to actually Google it and find out where those places are. They never exist. So I'm like, I just have to fucking suffer through until Monday, and I guess I'm going to have to get a fucking root canal. I don't know what else to do. And I don't want to ruin Emily's birthday,

and so I'm just like, try to grin and bear it. And I just take a bunch of Tylenol and stuff, and I just try to grin and bear it. And it gets a little better, and it subsides a little bit. But I basically had to spend that whole weekend of Emily's birthday celebrating her birthday, hanging out with Eric and Trevor and Barbara were there. And a bunch of people were there having a good time.

And I was just like trying to ignore the fact that I was in a tremendous amount of pain the entire time. I don't think I talked about it. I tried not to talk about it even. What did you say, Eric? You could tell I was hurting? What did you say, Eric? You could tell I was hurting?

You were a little, like, slow and in this hoodie and just sort of like... Immediately, I just went, something's up with Jeff. Jeff is in physical pain and trying his best to not be in physical pain. We talked about it because he just went, guess what? It was like, no. Wasn't great. No, but it was like, he did a great job. I mean, like participated

and was like the life of the party and everything. But the whole time you're just going like, he's dying. Like he's hurting so bad. Well, thanks for saying I did again.

I really did try to like, try not to let it affect Emily's good time, you know, and her birthday weekend. And it got a little bit better on Sunday. And then I went to the doctor on Monday and I explained to him that it was this root canal and yada yada yada.

And they went, yeah, you've never had a root canal there, buddy. You don't know what you're talking about. It's just a crown. And they looked at it and there was just something wrong with the crown. I don't know. They said there was an imperfection in it, and it seemed like it was just agitating my tooth, but that my root was fine. And so they took it off, and I have a temporary crown, and I have to go back Monday, this

next Monday, to run another test to see if there's any inflammation. And if so, then I have to get a root canal. If not, then they order me a new crown, and then I go back in a month and get the new crown put on. But at a minimum, I have a temporary crown for a month or I'm getting a root canal next week, and I don't know which yet. Oh, man. It's never-ending.

It's never-ending. Literally two days after I get my electric and my power and internet and everything turned back on. And I go, okay, it's been a hell of a week. It's been a hell of a year. I've got the stitches. I got the cut up hand already. We've had the ice apocalypse. I just want to have a weekend where I can relax and celebrate my fiance's birthday and spend time with friends and just chill the fuck out.

And then immediately the universe was like, I'm going to kick you so hard in the dick right now, your head's going to spin. This is like the third year of root canals since this podcast started. I know. Tell you what, though. I'm not going to let it get me down. I'm refusing to be upset about it. I'm refusing to be bummed. I'm not going to let 2023 get me down. I'm refusing to be upset about it. I'm refusing to be bummed.

I'm not gonna let 2023 be like 2022. So I'm gonna try my best to maintain a positive attitude. We'll see if the universe beats that out of me over the course of the next few months, but as of right now, even with a potential root canal on the horizon, I'm maintaining a sunny disposition.

Can you get custom crowns with like could you get like the f*** face logo on a crown? I don't know. Probably. Eric says yes. Can you get custom crowns with like, could you get like the face logo on a crown? I don't know. Probably. Eric says yes. You can get that with like fake teeth and stuff too. That'd be cool. What about,

how many crowns do you have, Jeff? Oh, I don't know. Two, maybe? Two? Two or three. I was just, when you're saying that, like without context,

the sentence, I'm ordering a new crown, sounds fucking awesome but once you apply the context to it it really ruins it yeah it does it's not that it turns out crowns aren't always fun yeah it's like the most cool descriptor for a thing not cool at all so monday what's that we find out on monday monday at 10 a.m i go to monday 10 a.m i'm gonna put that in my own calendar monday at noon checking on checking on Jeff I had a thing that happened the other day that reminded me of you Jeff where

I feel like for a lot of your life you've had a filter that you ignore constantly where it's like oh I could make a joke here and annoy the person I'm talking to or I could just hold it in and more often than not you would go for the joke because it made you laugh and I feel like I've always appreciated that approach

and um I've always appreciated that approach. And I've had to put up certain filters since moving here just so I don't offend people. And I must have been tired the other day again. And it was just gone. The filter was gone. I just couldn't stop it. I was taking a bunch of camera equipment to film a rocket test.

I had a bunch of pellet cases and tripod and stuff and an uber driver picked me up and was like oh you you filming something and i just looked at him and i just said how could you tell and i feel like like growing up in england the other guy would have been like ah how you look you know little rascal of course you are this guy looked at me like he wanted to murder me and i I was like, oh, this is... Why didn't my British to US filter come on to block the sarcasm? And it just came out without me. I could not stop it.

And I've not felt that guilty in so long. It would have been so innocent in England. I don't think that would have offended anyone. He looked at me like I was a piece of shit. And I just felt... I sat in silence the entire way. It was like a 40 minute ride. You know what's even worse?

You know he gave you a one star review. I know! And I gave him five and a big old tip. I found out on a... Emily showed me a TikTok the other day where you can... Shows how to look up and see how many one-star reviews you've had. Don't do it.

It's depressing. Oh, no. Do you think you've had a lot of ones? That one is probably my first one. I've had like six. Six one-stars? Yeah. What would you have been doing to deserve...

Actually, I've got two ones because... Honestly, probably very similar situations to yours. Just not filtering. We're just not feeling like it and just you know being a dick oh man not not having my sarcasm filter on yeah i had one once where i was going to the airport with dan and dan has a habit of farting in other people's cars he'll just let just let the most not and he always blames it on the fact that he's like you know we've talked about how bad farts and shits can

get when you're when you've just traveled and he's typically off a plane from england and he's suddenly dealing with a new diet and he lets rip just the most repugnant awful smells and we once had a driver just start swearing looking like looking straight forwards and swearing and then he reached he reached into his glove box and just started spraying for back over his shoulder into our faces i definitely got a one start for that and i'm there just going i'm just embarrassed i'm like damn for christ's sake and he's like it's not my fault and the guy's just like what's great about that is you can do anything at that point because you're already at one

yeah no you can't get worse it's amazing how how rude the pandemic made us all like i've i was rude to begin with but i have lost any kind of social niceties about burping or farting in public. I don't even, you don't even think about it anymore. Yesterday, Emily got home from work and I went outside to say hi to her. And why did she open her car door?

I went to say hi and a burp came out and I just let it rip. And it was so fucking loud that a couple across the street was walking their dog. And the guy goes, we heard that! And I was like, Jesus Christ. That was three houses over. And then, dude, two days ago, I sneezed so loud in the house,

it set the glass break sensor off in the air. No way. Swear to God, Emily can corroborate. It's in my notes, actually. I've started sneezing loud. I've started sneezing loud because it annoys Emily. She doesn't like it, a loud sneeze. And so I've been trying to sneeze like loud just to piss her off.

Wait, pause. Now I can't stop it. To earlier in this podcast, what I brought up that you would constantly be throwing to Eric if you knew you weren't supposed to, and your outrage over the accusation to that story of Emily hates loud sneezes, so you're trying to amplify.

Not just that you're doing them, you're actively trying to increase your volume. I failed to see the connection. Anyway, once I started sneezing loud, I can't stop now. That's like one time in high school I got real nervous about farting. So I started,

I taught myself how to fart quietly and then farts became cool again and then I couldn't fart with noise and it took me years to build up a noisy fart again. Farts became cool. I can't make a sound. I like my sneezes are like decibel shattering apparently there are alarms setting off now a loud sneeze is so satisfying though

i do it when i'm alone i just blast them out onto the floor so satisfying blast them out you're so fucking weird you're blasting sneezes onto the floor well usually you know in public i'm like going into my arm like my inverse elbow bit oh that's right so to have it just be like there's no one around i'm firing this so you know ones where like if it's backlit you're gonna see it yeah love them oh man i was just to ask how many sneezes are you guys? I'm almost always a three sneeze man. I'm a single. I'm one and done every time. Really?

That's so not satisfying. Yeah, no, I'm two. Two every time. Meg has two. Meg has two. So I always say bless after the first one and you after the second one without fail. Do you guys remember when i told you uh i have so much little dumb stuff today do you guys remember how i told you that frustration i had

where i have to turn my tv off in my bedroom twice yeah yes i can't i can't make it stop i didn't tell you guys this i don't think but about two weeks ago or three weeks ago before the ice storm it just started working again like i could just like i just hit the button i've done nothing to it and it just like it starts working again but i've real i realized last night because you know right about the time it started working we the power lost went out and then we were gone for a while so i've just now started getting back to watching tv in my bedroom i realized that now that it turns off on its own or like it turns off with one with one power button push. Now the volume no longer works. What?

So now I can turn my TV on and off easily, but I cannot change the volume. Just out of the blue. It's like it flipped. Before the volume worked fine, I just had to turn the TV off twice. Now I turn it off once and the volume just doesn't fucking work and I am befuddled on how to fix

this. I had the same happen with one of my I think after it updated and the volume just doesn't fucking work and I am befuddled on how to fix this. I had the same happen with one of my, I think after it updated the volume stopped working for my TV. I feel like I just forgot the remote. Really? How did you fix it? I just started using the TV remote again. Yeah, see I don't know where my TV remote is, I'll have to find it. It's a whole fucking thing.

Huh. What a weird thing for your TV to update out of your remote. Yeah. What a strange future innovation. That's one of the most annoying things about the modern world is that you, I mean, you can leave stuff exactly where you left it and come back to it. And it's different because the internet did something to it. Yeah.

I never update anything. I feel like you never up. I feel like that's the move is never update anything. You never even downloaded discord. discord no but you're on my listen that was a very sharp tone by you and you're on my team last week just the same you said exact same experience

I don't want to hear that energy your team website discord your browser discord guy now and to be honest hey Gavin to be honest after what you've said about coming and sneezing and foot piss I don't even know if I want back on the desktop now. Hey, Gavin, to be honest, after what you've said about cumming and sneezing and foot piss, I don't even know if I want you on the web browser Discord side anymore. I need to consider, like, I need to evaluate the roster.

You're disowning me from that team. Possibly. It's up for review. I'll get back to you when I go through a thorough investigation of everything, but it's up for review. Okay. I'm on probation. Are you on the app right now? No, I'm back on the desktop app.

Fuck, okay. God damn it. Yeah, I just reinstalled. Oh, you're on the app. You're back on the... The way you said that. Okay. No, it's good.

Stay on there. I uninstalled it and reinstalled it. Stay on there for a little bit. I'll let you know let me know when i can come back though yeah i'll let you know that made me laugh so hard i get dizzy for a second oh my god did you did you guys see that video somebody posted on the face subreddit of 50 cent talking about getting shot in the face and the pain level no he got shot in his face i 50 Cent was shot nine times. Yeah. Yeah, he's been shot. That's his claim to fame. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah.

He said in this interview that somebody that was clipped on the subreddit that getting shot in the face hurts less than a root canal. So basically, what I'm saying is that 50 Cent is saying

that I've essentially been shot like six times in the face. I can say that I've essentially been shot in the face five or six times. Yeah, I guess it like probably contextually, right? Like I assume he didn't know he was going to get shot in the face when it happened. I don't think so. But you know a root canal is coming. Yeah. There's never been a drive-by root canal,

which would be horrendous. I think that'd be the worst case scenario. That'd be a bad one. Yeah. It would be. Yeah. Yeah, I don't... What happened to you?

I got mugged. He root canaled me. Like, it's such a... He stole my root. I took my wallet and my root. Oh, I would give so much up before I was willing for them to and my root oh I would give so much up before I was willing for them to take my root I will throw my wallet

I will run if you're coming after my root anything but the root do they take the root in a root canal? I don't do they take it or do they like you have multiple roots you have like three roots in your tooth and they take the one that's so that's how you can have multiple root You have like three roots in your tooth And they take the one that's

So that's how you can have multiple root canals on the same tooth Yeah and then if you get If you lose all your roots then you lose your tooth And they just fucking yank it It seems weird that you only get two goes at teeth It does I could have done with like maybe one set Every twenty years

Well I still have my wisdom teeth And I feel like they're my like backup tires is the way i view this i'm supposed to get them removed no but the fact i still got them i just feel like i got some extras of the chamber if i need you don't lose like a canine and they put one of your wisdoms there what do you mean well no oh no i just i feel like it gives me a false sense of security like i know logically what you're saying is accurate but in my head i got a few backup tires in my mouth. He's got a spare in the trunk.

It's like saying that I got a spare in the trunk, but I have to use it in the trunk. What do you mean? How's that effective? Well, listen. Just start spinning in there. From a numbers perspective, it would make sense. Down a tooth, up a tooth.

If it emerges. I don't know how I'd even pull it. I guess I'd have to... Could I get my wisdom teeth pulled and then put it into my mouth if I wanted to somewhere? Probably not. What do you mean? What if I did like dentures? Like a denture

but it was just like wisdom teeth. Yeah, but then you could do whatever. You could do like dog teeth. Like if you're talking about dentures, it doesn't have to be your teeth. I'm not fucking weird, Eric. I'm not going to put dog teeth in my mouth. Oh, maybe Eric's the weird one. Gavin is doing dog teeth in my mouth the weird one Gavin is doing whatever he can to take the weirdest off

I'm trying to say the most normal shit putting your own teeth back in your head after they get pulled is like this is so insane to me to like I never thought about ever thought about that can you imagine a full smile of just wisdom teeth oh my god so fucking big oh my god giant blocks the toothiest grin you've ever seen

how do how did the wisdom how does a tooth get made do we start with teeth how does anything grow it okay well yeah but, yeah, but can I put it back in and, like, could I grow more teeth if I wanted? Like, why does my mouth just stop? That's what I'm saying. It's like DNA tells your body to grow two sets, and I think, well, you can see x-rays of kids, right, where they have all their teeth,

but they have all their adult teeth just sitting dormant above their... Just wear something that you don't want to look at. Yeah. Okay, so you got your own little teeth. Look how low down that one is. If that guy smashed his chin riding a bike, one of his teeth could come out the bottom. I would say, looking at this photo,

it's normal teeth and then all your compartments for teeth. If somebody mugged me and stole a tooth, I'd be like, fucking idiot, they don't know I got 20 more. I got 20 more they could have taken, not even visible. They don't know I got Also look how freaking weird that wisdom tooth looks like imagine a full set of them That's what Andrew wants the wisdom in the front the wisdom is the one right at the back They look like they look like the little hats you put on like rack of lamb after you chicken leg or something

I would look like an extra to Flintstones movie if I had a full rack of those like it's the it's like a prehistoric vibe you get from them dude that guy's got teeth up by his nose down by his chin it's it's horrible do you guys remember earlier when Gavin

thought the most logical solution to a problem was to stick his bare foot into a bowl of piss and use it as a little monkey hand? He said do a goat kick. Yeah. Do a goat kick. I'm going to be thinking about that for weeks. I was just trying to keep my hands clean. It's just another appendage.

Okay, but let's like realistically go through the motions Of a goat kick a goat kick is backwards right So you're going toes in In my head I'm like Lent on the cistern So you're standing over the toilet And I'm like back footing it out Are you on the toilet

Are both feet on I start straddling the toilet And then I sort of like lean on the tank And then'd say i start straddling the toilet and then i sort of like lean on the tank and then i do like a back pass on the handle as it flies out no that's way better than just putting your hand in and grabbing it and then moving on with your weird day just advancing there's a terrible idea about you i already came around on it i know I know I just I was struck again right it was just someone

it would be like if I said what if you use both elbows to fish it out because you don't really use those like that's fine like I would I think I'd actually rather my elbows than my foot I would agree if my elbow could fit deep enough into the bowl, I would use that.

Both of them? You're trying to pinch it with your elbows? They just wouldn't fit in, though, would they? I don't think I could do that. If I had, I don't know, like John Jones' arms and really pointy, long elbows, I think I could make that work. That's very specific.

I think there's someone in the comments who would have thought about a foot going in. Sure. Oh, definitely. I think I can make that work. But that's very specific. I think there's someone in the comments who would have thought about a foot going in. Sure. Oh, definitely. I think it's understandable to consider it, but to then act like that should be the plan is what you'd want. And to advocate for it, yeah. Yeah, that's the issue. Did you guys put... You want to put yourself on the level

of a comment lever who's saying, like, oh, I left this comment about how I'd also do a goat kick in the toilet? Yeah, I mean, that's where I came from, Eric. I'm a comment lever. Those are... I'm a comment lever who's saying like I left this comment about how I'd also do a goat kick in the toilet yeah I mean I can't that's where I came from Eric I'm a comment lever those are those are Gavin's people goat kickers unite if you do a goat kick

in your piss toilet to get a cabinet knob out I think my issue with the comment lever comment Gavin by you is stating that there's some like someone would have done that that doesn't mean a whole lot and also like who is that person like you might not actually want to

align with that that individual just because there is one doesn't actually prove anything I just feel like a foot is a go-to when you don't want to touch something yeah yeah you're still touching it I don't know your foot is attached to you just so you know like what do you mean by it i don't know your foot is attached to you just so you know like what do you mean by that i don't know yeah i think you just really

we're talking about micah parsons before you join in the pleasantries being a foot guy he loves feet you are like the reverse of a foot guy i hate feet i don't want i want nothing to do with them you have like a hatred fetish of feet as opposed to liking feet. I don't want to touch one. They're not attractive. They're dirty. No thanks. You ever looked at a foot and said like,

hmm, that's a good looking foot. Actually, you won't believe this. No, never. Just this week, I saw my first foot that I was like, actually, that's a pretty good foot you're so weird it was it was katie perry katie perry tweet uh she had on instagram i think she started selling a shoe or something to do with but the the foot model that she posted i was like okay that's probably the best looking foot and i still don't want to do anything with

it i wouldn't want it like i wouldn't want to touch it but I had to admit like of all the feet I've seen that was probably the best one. Well I have yet to see a foot that I feel that way about. Let me try and find it. No I'm good I think. I think I'm good. I'm pretty sure I'm good. That was right there with you. That's the one. Yeah I was like

okay that's actually a pretty inoffensive foot. That's just a fucking foot, dude. It looks exactly like every other foot I've ever seen. I don't know. You want to cover that in piss. You want to goat kick that. No, you're making it so weird.

I'm just saying what you said. No, I'm just saying that was the best one I've seen yet. And I still am not into that. Imagine Chef looking at a foot and saying, that's the best one I've seen yet. I definitely am. It's like, surely you've once seen a sandwich. No, no.

Here's the problem. It means you're taking inventory. It means you're taking inventory, and that's strange. You have a Rolodex in your head of feet, and you're like, that one's the problem. It doesn't mean you're taking inventory. It means you're taking inventory, and that's strange. You have a Rolodex in your head of feet, and you're like, that one's the best one. Yeah, it's that you had the thought. I think that happens unintentionally, doesn't it? Like, you just sort of file stuff away.

Could you imagine, Gavin, if you and I were in the same room together, and I said, you gotta come over here and see this. This is the best foot I've seen in 28 years of living. 28 28 years this is the foot but the thing I would be like I didn't like oh you got guys you got to check out this foot I just mentioned it because it came up no it's only because you said have you ever seen a foot and I was like well it's the perfect my notes I was just Andrew it's it's as if it's as if you were hanging out, we were hanging out, and I was like,

hey, Andrew, I'm not one to be sexually attracted to bananas, but look at this fucking banana. You have to admit, if you were going to do something to a banana, this would be the banana, right? No, it would not only make sense if Andrew was suddenly like, you ever wanted to have sex with a banana? What are you talking about? It came up in conversation.

What do you want to do to that foot? I don't want to do anything. It's the point. It's the best looking one I've ever seen and I want nothing to do with it still. I just have to admit, it's probably the most inoffensive one I've ever seen. Inoffensive? I don't think that's weird.

I don't think that's weird I don't know what he reacted so strongly to that foot that it stuck in his brain to the point where he could instantly recognize the photo it was like this week this foot has done a number on you man you

have probably at some point seen the best pastrami sandwich that you've ever witnessed, right? If you're off pastrami, you're probably not going to eat it. But you have to be like, you know what? That one looks really good. You know what, though? I'm not off pastrami. Oh, he's back. I pastrami.

I pastrami hard. But once again, though, sorry, just to counter Gavin's back. I pastrami. I pastrami hard. But once again, though, sorry, just to counter Gavin's point. This is a thing he loves. That's why he'd remember and catalog it because he loves them. He loved them. Then he didn't. Then he fell out of love with it. But the love wasn't.

It would make more sense if I was like, God, I used to love to jack off on feet. But then I stopped. I just wasn't into it anymore. But now I think I'm into jacking off on feet again. Like that's different. Nothing like that. I think it's pretty much exactly like that. I'm not an architect, but sometimes you see a building that's like, that's a pretty cool building. And you want to fuck it? No! What's it got to do with it? But you aren't saying that you have

hatred for buildings. You said you have hatred for feet. Look, I'm not trying to dogpile. I'm just... It's very inconsistent to me. So it has to be something that I hate but then recognize that... I'm going to find such a good example eventually.

This is Gavin's new life hack. Don't be attracted to feet, but if you are, be attracted to this foot. Gavin's life hack is when you get dunked on, take your time with a comeback. You'll get them later

you've got the rest of your life to think of the comeback take your time oh oh man i just think sometimes when you're the opposite like you're the opposite of a foot guy sometimes you have to just... Are you alright? Oh no, I'm dying. I'm close to dead. We need to find out if that foot model is British, because if so, they need to be a toad in the hole.

You do need to have an extended toad in the hole. Toad in the hole. That's Kevin's Spanish side. It's just like people pop their feet in women popping big toes through toast

okay well I guess you could compare it to like you know as a straight as a straight man there are

sometimes you see a guy and it's like that's a good looking person no I don't want to do anything I wouldn't want to interact with him in that way, but I recognize That is what Eric what?

Do you hate? Guys I'm just not attracted to guys in general. What do you mean? Your base is with the fetus you hate the feet You're opposed to my feet What do you mean? Your base is where the feet is. You hate the feet. You're close to my feet. I've never looked at somebody visually and just thought, that's an inoffensive-looking person.

They're just people. They're just people. I don't know why I can't talk with a good comparison. What's wrong with this situation? No, I think you just need to punt. You need to punt. You need to sit down for a while and revisit this when you get the ball again down the road

I think you're just gonna be like 4th and 80 if you keep going just punt you know that's good advice okay we should wrap this up I think Eric's gonna blow a fuse in the discord chat if we don't.

Thank you for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. If you made it to the end of this one, there should be no doubt in your mind two things. One, this is a pretty entertaining podcast. You should probably tell some people about it. And two, Gavin is a fucking freak. We'll see you next week. It's so weird. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week. It's so weird. Hey, guys.

Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. An egg. Let's play with food dice. Andrew is not a yogurt guy. Jeff wants to play rollerball. What fruit can you throw the furthest? More mall talk. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.

All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.