F**kface - Cucumber Content For You // Who Pissed on All the Wallets? [59]

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin's Treadmill shorts, a bunch of pee stories, everyone's regulation salad, and Andrew's room drawings. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14), Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), and Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm Jeff, Gavin, and Andrew are alive as well. And I sent my salad to you, Eric. You're all of us? What? I said are alive as well. And I sent myself to you, Eric. You're all of us. Well, I said are alive as well. Ah, okay. Oh,

okay. It was all very fast. It went fast. I missed it. Yeah. It was a very quick. I also missed it. I thought we were, it's like a being John Malkovich situation.

I thought we were in your head for once. I was actually early because I had to come back in and consult Andrew about the, uh, the, the room layout. I had a lot of questions about the room layout and I wanted to come back in and consult Andrew about the room layout. I had a lot of questions about the room layout, and I wanted to consult Andrew, but I decided that I would just go with the information he texted us two days ago.

That was the thing. I couldn't remember where I saw that. Oh, yeah. It was in Slack. And I came in. I was like, where's that info? And he was like, in Slack. And then I had other questions,

but I felt like unless you were going to receive the same info, it wouldn't be worth me asking anything. So I just stuck with the information that we were both given. I offered to forward all the answers to Jeff, but still no questions. So I'm excited to see the layout that you've- Yeah, I put a lot of effort into it.

I think you guys will like it. Let me also say, because I very, I found out, you know, that I made a funny joke to Gavin that our podcast wasn't doing well, and then he thought it wasn't doing well for years and years and years. And well, the podcast is barely a year old, so not quite that long. But just to give you some good news, Gavin, I got an email the other day that said last week's episode, which was, well, this is 59 we're recording. I think last week's episode was 57 that we released, is on

track to be our best performing episode ever. Wow. What happened? That was the cucumbers. The cucumbers. It was your wasps, I think. The orgies. The wasps. Yeah, the orgies. No, it was after the wasps, yeah. So, cucumbers and orgies

is apparently a winning combination. I see. Congratulations. Things are trending up. If our most recent episode is on track to be our best performing episode, then that can only mean that the next episode will probably be a letdown. I feel it already is. We already recorded that one.

That one's already guaranteed. It's in the can. It's disappointing. Yeah, well, that's done. It's just put pressure. That one's already guaranteed. It's in the can. It's disappointing. Yeah, well, that's done. It's just put pressure on this one, I think. Yeah, yeah. Also, hey, if anybody's got like, we need to hit the cucumber content

and the homeless orgy content hard. So, Andrew, take it away with your next orgy story. Go. Well, I don't have one of those, but I do. I got some cucumber content for you this week, Jeff, that you orchestrated. I feel like the last thing we do on this show is chase trends. Yeah, I will say, you know what? We're actually doing it.

We're going to pause for one second. You're crediting orgies. You're crediting cucumbers. I think the real star of this is fucking honey mustard. Honey mustard has been a constant. It's rocketing to the moon. Honey mustard is the way to go. If we could get a spreadsheet of all the views on honey mustard mentioned episodes and see

if they trend higher, then that's the future, I think. If we don't make an official like Raymond Sommar honey mustard and release and sell it in stores, We are not doing our jobs properly. I agree. I mean, isn't that where it all began? Was Andrew wanted to be behind some honey mustard? Yeah, it was. Yeah, well, no, it was. What was it? We're talking about... He just didn't want

to make it. No, I think it was salad cream. It went back to the original salad cream conversation of like, what's the best condiment? And that was the intro to honey mustard and spanned it from there. That was to honey mustard and that was the origin story that was the origin yeah yeah that's how it was created so i we should this was a this was an interesting start to a podcast so let's cover what we're gonna cover today what okay you've got some cucumber content well i i'm excited about that uh we have the reveal of our Andrew's bedroom drawings.

I don't know how you feel about yours, Gavin, but I am very jazzed about mine. I worked hard on it. I put probably 25 minutes into it. Dude, I put, I got, I was doing it. Well, I'll just show it to you. I worked hard on it as well. And I was unhappy with my drawings,

so I decided to take it in a different direction. Eric said 25 minutes is too long. 25 minutes is too long. How long would you have spent on it, Eric? Less than three. Maybe two and a half minutes? It sounds like you have time, so why don't you whip one up? Oh, I didn't get...

Unfortunately, I wasn't part of the text conversation with all the information. I can give you that right now. It's one sentence, dickhead. It's not a lot. I can probably go by memory. Three doors all at the top, bed at the bottom,

two windows, one hole where a door should be. Four walls, three doors all at the top. No wall has multiple doors on it, but one has two doorways, two windows, all at the top no wall has multiple doors on it but one has two doorways two windows bed at the back i spent i spent at least 45 minutes on it uh started and threw away and restarted a bunch on top of that we we have all designed i found some online salad generator that by the way there are a lot of online salad generators, but they're all related to fucking to like stores, like Mad Greens or Wendy's or whatever. I don't want to push a corporate giant,

so I found one that just appears to be like some healthy site. I'm not crazy about the ingredients. First of all, their idea of salad dressing is ludicrous. There's zero salad dressing listed on the salad dressing options. The closest thing they had was lime juice or salsa, but the ingredients for salad are there.

So we've all, and by all, I mean Gavin, Jeff, Andrew, and I believe Nick have created our salads and sent them to Eric. What we're going to do here is Eric's going to read them blind, and then we're going to all try to guess who made each salad. Then, eventually, down the road in person, I assume we will make those salads and then share them with each other and then determine which one is the best tasting. Now, I'm not sure if I did mine right, but I didn't try and be funny at all. I just thought, which salad would I really like to eat? Is that the right way to go about it? Yes. I made the salad out of those ingredients that would taste the best to me. I made a,

I went, I went beyond that. I think I made an iconic salad. Personally. Oh God. I knew, I knew this was going to happen where Jeff had an idea

that was simple and then Andrew started sending me stuff that had subtext and I went, this is going to be the whole episode i took notes i saw a comment from one of the um one of the many comment leavers that watch listen to the show and someone i think nailed it with andrew and his salad is that andrew has always been trying to make a salad that enhances the cream when you just want the cream to enhance the salad and that's exactly what he's done at every point he's trying to make a salad that enhances the cream when you just want the cream to enhance the salad

and that's exactly what he's done at every point he's trying to make the ultimate salad to go with his no well okay that was the first attempt was i wanted to make the ultimate a salad a canvas fitting for the paint that is salad cream and you guys rejected that so then the second time i just got a regulation salad and had it a second. I don't know what you wanted. I tried both things. I mean, obviously, I can't do it the first time twice. I love stuff that's regulation.

It's a regulation salad. What other regulation? It's got to be regulation. It's got to be standard regulation. It has to be. Otherwise, there's no point. It's all like regulations and standards. And we got the standard ears, the standard windows regulation salad there's like there's lots of rules you could almost make some sort of like

legal document around this yeah we we just cut the rules according to face yeah some comment leavers should make that i asked questions about the salad i'm the only one jeff you presented this idea and to be clear this is my cucumber content i assume that you saw the cucumber numbers that were like we need to introduce vegetables to this show this is my cucumber content i assume that you saw the cucumber numbers that were like we need to introduce vegetables to the show that was my connection of that's why we're making i sent this to you i i was just thinking about it i was thinking about it and i thought like oh that's a funny idea and then i sent it here's here's how my brain works i sent it in the slack and then you guys all responded kind of quickly and positively, and then in a way that thought,

oh no, I bet this is an idea that we had months and months ago that we already submitted to the Slack, and I forgot about, and now I'm trying to claim it as my idea, and this is probably an old idea. And at some point, they're going to bring it up and be like, dickhead, you stole this six months ago. We already did this, or something.

And so I've been paranoid ever since I submitted, and which reminds me why I'm paranoid sometimes to submit ideas to the show because i'm scared that i'm stealing them from the show from the past and you guys are gonna make fun of me for it i feel like that was a much bigger problem when you were drunk where we would have a conversation i'd be like oh what if we did this and then like a month later you'd be like shit let's do this and we would end up doing it but i'd be like i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure we had this idea a month later you'd be like shit let's do this and we would end up doing it but i'd be like i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure we had this idea a month ago i uh i also uh i think we could talk about the break show yeah we could talk about i came up with some bath some minor minor bathroom insights that i could cover we uh we recently gavin and i had a hangout. And in that period, there was, we had a moment in the bathroom we could talk about.

And then, unfortunately, because Gavin and I hung out on Sunday, it rained every day after that. We had plans to film the extreme bicycle stunt on Wednesday. And I rode out Wednesday morning. I got up at like seven in the morning on Wednesday and rode my bike out there to check out the scene, to practice and stuff. And it was still, it's still, at that point, it was still a drainage ditch. You know, it's a drainage ditch. So it was still draining. And it's not an aqua. It's not an aqua trick. So we were unable to record it, which really sucks because we're recording these episodes back to back.

So I think in the first episode, we said we were going to do this and now it'll be three episodes later and we still haven't done it. Yeah. Unfortunately. There's so much going on. This episode feels like a table of contents

where it's like which direction. It could almost be a choose your own podcast direction. We're recording two, right? We're going to record this one and the one right after it. So whatever we don't choose, we'll choose the next episode i assume gavin and andrew you guys have a ton of shit too outside of cucumber content uh i will say that that answered one of my main questions going into this is if you film the bike trick i texted gavin i think on saturday

that it was the highlight of my weekend knowing that you may be doing this at any moment and just hoping that it came together like anytime i was doing anything i could be making lunch and in my head i was like jeff could be filming a bike trick he could be trying to do a bmx stunt the funny thing about that is the original plan was to do it on the weekend on saturday but then i saw gavin all day friday at the break show and then i knew we were hanging out sunday because we were going to go to the movies so i just didn't think about Saturday three days in a row would have been excessive and I completely forgot about it and he never texted me to say hey are we going to film this thing and so I never texted him we probably could have done it Saturday yeah we made the mistake of

hanging out first and now we have to wait out the probably the next 10 days of rain yeah yeah so that leads to my second question how was the D D-Box family? Did you guys come together? Was it a good time? That was the other thing that got me excited. So it was even better than D-Box. Really? It was 4DX. Eric, what were your thoughts on it? What is 4DX? I never thought

that I would be a guy who would watch a movie that had water sprayed at you and smoke shot at the screen and the seat shaking the whole time and walk out and go that was the best thing i've ever seen cinema be damned they just made it a universal studios red what's funny is that you you walk in and it looks like someone's like screwed an entire janitor's closet onto the walls up at the top. There's like fans.

There's all these boxes and like pipes and lights and stuff. It looks like an absolute mess. And that's all the tools for the movie. And then the lights go down. There's smoke all over the movie. But it kind of doesn't work because it's immensely distracting to see all the movie covered up. And also it's rear projected. So you're seeing the movie like all messed up on top of the smoke.

There's flashes. The seats are swinging all around. There's water in your face. It ruled. There's a button to turn water on and off. There's, if we were like sort of in, you know, like the seventh or eighth row. So we were like past sort of like the flat four rows in the front. Those rows when there was smoke could not see a thing.

They were waving their arms to move the smoke so they can continue watching a movie. And it was futile. It was it creates such a rowdy environment. Like everyone in there was just screaming at the top of their lungs. Like stuff would happen. And Eric would be like, why is going on at the top of his lungs? And it was just perfectly fine. Like it was the right place and the right people to see that movie with.

It was phenomenal. Then I saw the movie again without any of that and uh it was a bit quiet in there yeah let me say something i didn't i i saw the movie with you on sunday i didn't get to experience the d box trip however i did get to see something that i think might be as good as that and that is when the break show was over uh tim g rolled to pick you guys up uh right outside to take you to the movie and i got to see tim g roll up in a subaru outback with cool guy sunglasses and then get out and go oh hold on a second and then get out and take car seats out of the back to make room for you guys so that you can peel out to go to your super cool movie together

and that in itself i just stopped and i watched that until you guys left and then i went about my business that was better than the d box i'm pretty sure i wish you could have come because it's unfortunately the the seats that move are in like rows of four you'd like buy a four block and uh we had it was like full but uh then we went and got coronas before we went and saw the movie what what a day what experience it was really i had a great time and tim g's on a kick right now where we were even commenting on it where we just went wow man you really leaned into like the dad slash off-duty cop look he's got he's got a full-on mustache a tie-dye shirt that says gazpacho season some shorts new ballot shoes and man that's a big ol' mustache. Like,

it's really, he's got it. Boy, it's a big ol' mustache. It's something. And Gavin was, it was Gavin's laundry day, so he was dressed like a cool guy as well. It was awesome. You had a real, and Andrew had a real problem with my shorts during the last break shit. It's not you. They're not you, man.

You wear salmon-colored button-up shorts. That's all you own. That's all you should're not you man yeah you wear salmon colored uh button-up shorts that's all you own that's all you should own look sometimes i gotta do laundry all right sometimes i gotta wear shorts that i wear on a treadmill or on a walk i understand just don't do it in public again no it makes sense it just it was it was weird seeing you in active shorts it was weird seeing him in active shorts it really was i don't know why i don't know why you're an active dude i lived with you for off and on for years and years and years i must have seen you in like basketball shorts before uh you might not have i just can't remember it and it

was so shocking it was so out of character i can't even imagine gavin shooting a basketball like that visual in my mind is just very weird to me. I feel like I let you guys down by showing up in these shorts. Here's the thing with Gavin in sports. He's probably great at British sports, but we got to keep him away from American sports. I'm sure you've heard the story of the very first time he threw a baseball to my daughter

and hit her in the face and split her lip. Well, okay. Is that Gavin's fault? Well, she was like five or six, and he chucked it at her like he was Nolan Ryan. Overhand, as a wind-up. I was in the tutorial level. I was receiving the instructions.

I'm like, how do people pitch? They just throw it straight at the person with the glove or the bat, and you're like, yeah, just do it like this. I did it, and I just hit a five-year-old girl's skull and i don't think i've ever thrown one since you threw it at her at her skull well that's where the glove was luckily she uh she lived and uh she's mostly she's mostly fine and i think almost forgiven me for it yeah i think i think she's forgiven you at this point I don't

know that she's forgiven Andrew yet for for not watching that final leprechaun movie with her though it's not my fault I wanted to watch it she told me she told me one night she was like hey

I'm gonna do you mind I'm gonna watch leprechaun because we were gonna watch survivor or something she's like I'm gonna watch that final leprechaun movie with Andrew and I was like

okay glad you guys are finally doing it she goes yeah me too I'm super excited and then later I checked on it I was like hey I thought you're gonna watch that movie with Andrew and she goes oh like, oh, okay, glad you guys are finally doing it. And she goes, yeah, me too, I'm super excited. And then later I checked on it and I was like, hey, I thought you were gonna watch that movie with Andrew. And she goes, oh, he cancelled. He's too busy getting ready for F*** Face. And I was like, ooh.

Oh, yikes. No, what was what day was that? I don't know. There were multiple attempts. I reached out one day that she didn't see the message. We've gone back and forth. We'll eventually get there. I'd love to watch it. I'm excited about it. I just want you both to know that you've disappointed my daughter in different ways that's great like whenever i hear about face through millie it's always about the inconvenience

that is the recording of face and how it's getting in the way and it's loud it is very inconvenient emily actually uh she was telling me the other day she was like you guys need to do a short at rooster teeth that's just all of the girlfriends and spouses and kids that are like dealing with fridge repairmen while they hear while in another room they hear an adult man screaming fuck my anus or whatever you know and she's like it's like it could just cut to all the different like all the different spouses going while while we're on um we were still on f9 and stuff, and that would lead us to our bathroom incident, Jeff. What was going on? Well, you and I, I assume in a similar fashion,

I had to pee one second into the movie. I have a real problem with, I just hate getting up in a cinema and leaving the movie that I paid to watch. Because you missed big chunks of it. So I've always been one to hold it in, but it's really bad for you. Not only that, but I felt an extra pressure because we went Alfredo, who

works at a Chima Hunter with us, he and Jackie, his girlfriend, they rented out a theater to watch Fast 9 and so the only people in the theater were our friends and people that we know and there was maybe 20 of us. So I felt like an extra pressure, like, I like i'm not gonna be the and nobody was getting up to go to the bathroom

i'm not gonna be the only one to do it the first one and so i just held it in the entire and by the way that is a long movie apparently way longer when you're when you're up to your eyeballs and urine it's like two and a half hours i assumed gavin did the same thing so the second the credits rolled i was i speedy g Gonzalo's out of the chair. There was like a puff of smoke. And I look around and Gavin's doing the same thing running. So I was like,

well, I can't let him beat me to the bathroom. So it was a foot race. And then we got there and we were the only two people in the bathroom. There was this giant row of like 20 urinals. Well, first I was,

I was doing that like speed hobble where you don't want to like run because your bladder will pop, but you're kind of hunched and running. But then Jeff hid behind the wall, and he was trying to jump out at me. Oh, I forgot about that. Were you trying to poke me, or shove a finger up my ass or something? I was trying to scare the pee out of you.

Yeah, you jumped at me, and I was just like, and I really had to hold it. I was like, I've got pee so bad, and then you were like, me too, and we just sort of, we stopped messing with each other. We were both on the same page and we both ran to the bathroom. And then so we went to opposite ends and we started peeing and it didn't intend it to be this,

but it turned into a race to see who had more pee in them and who could pee longer. And I don't know about you, but that was probably in my top 15 longest P's in my life. It was probably in my top three. I don't think I've pissed that long in maybe a decade. I, at one point, I couldn't stop. Like, I was like, I was looking at my dick,

and I was like, is this a joke? Like, there can't be this much P. And it's still going, and it's a decent stream, too. And I'm looking at Gavin, and he's still going, and I'm thinking, like, okay, well, at least it's not weird. But then at some point, Gavin stopped, and I kept going, and I was starting to get a little scared. Like, what do you do if you never stop pee, right?

Like, I started to think, like, do I call, do I have Gavin call a doctor and get advice? Like, do I, like, hook some sort of a bucket to the end of my dick so that I can move around, I can walk and still pee? It was hook some sort of a bucket to the end of my dick so that I can move around, I can walk and still pee? It was... And then I stopped eventually.

There's so much unspoken when you're peeing. When two people start peeing at the same time, it's just a normal piss. It's a normal experience until both people subconsciously realized

that these pisses have been going on a really long time. And I had that realization when I was about halfway through. I still had about half of it left in the tank. At one point, we kind of both had that realization at the same time, and I just looked over to the other end

of the bathroom, and I could see Jeff's little head as we're both just pissing for so long. We were just both laughing while we were pissing. It was such a weird moment, but I loved it. It was so great. It was a really weird, like, funny friendship, wholesome bonding friendship moment. And the whole time I was giggling like a fucking nine-year-old.

All I could think of is, this is going to be so weird if somebody walks into the bathroom and Gavin and I are just giggling like children while we pee on the opposite sides of the bathroom from each other. And luckily, we had the bathroom to ourselves for a good six or seven minutes. Nobody ever came in. It was great. The moment wasn't spoiled. Everyone was talking about the movie.

They were like wrapping up the conversation. It's true. People were saying their goodbyes. Hey, what did everybody think of the movie? I left the bathroom almost out of breath It was really hard work What a I'm trying to think

What are longest recorded pisses In human history Even film history I'm thinking Austin Powers There's that extended piss sequence He has some breaks though There's that Adam Sandler comedy bit On his first album i'm not aware of that one oh it's an audio thing yeah it's it's just like him he can't stop pissing for like an hour it's a whole thing it's funny okay and you live that this is your life this is inspired by you at this time

yeah i guess we live that content in a deeper level. Anyway, Gavin, I just want to say, on record, that's the most fun I've had peeing in years. And I'm really, really glad that I got to pee with you for a long time and that it was such a fun, funny pee. And if you ever want a long pee again, let me know. I know it's hard to recreate magic, but man, I'd be willing to try it. Yeah, I feel like we could try, but it felt like a one-off i just really loved it almost no words were spoken we were just experiencing it we both found it funny at the same moment oh it was magic yeah it was it was what it's it's the oh it's the kind of moment you can only have between two friends that have

known each other for more than a decade i think what was the previous most amount of fun you've had pissing, Jeff? Because this took the position of something else. What is number two? I don't think I have a great pissing moment. There's probably a lot that don't come to mind that I'm forgetting or I'm blanking on right now. I've peed in a lot of nefarious ways,

especially when I was younger and dumber. You went on that security guard ways, especially when I was younger, you know, and younger. You went on that security guard once, didn't you? Yeah, you did. That's a great pee story. I did pee on a security guard. That sounds fun. I was gonna... Yeah, no, that's a good one.

I was thinking of a worse one. Yeah, no. I mean, I don't know. Do I tell these stories? Is it okay to tell this story? Because I've told it on other Rooster Teeth podcasts. You've told the security guard one on this podcast. Oh, well, then I don't have to tell it again.

There you go. What's the worst one, though? Yo, did you pee on his kids? That would be worse. No, I didn't pee on his kids. I was thinking about the time I peed in that guy's duffel bag before he went to the airport in the army. I don't know that one. I was roommates about the time I peed in that guy's duffel bag before he went to the airport. I don't know that one. I was roommates with this guy.

I was roommates with this guy in journalism school at Fort Ben Harrison, who was such a prick. And I tried to like him a lot. I'm not going to say his name. I'm not going to do anything. All the things that I hate about him are super identifying. So I won't say them. But I will say that he was i tried really hard to like him and he was just a just a cocky prick and he he was never nice to me and always rude and he graduated journalism school as we all most of us

did eventually and he went on to his duty station wherever that was in the army and please take into consideration i am a 46 yearyear-old man now. I'm a different person. I was 18 at the time. I was a very dumb, very inexperienced, very volatile 18-year-old. And so I was talking to him the night before. He was packing up his duffel bag.

And, you know, because you throw everything into your duffel bag and then you lock it and then you take off. And you carry that around the airport or whatever. And so he was like, yeah, I'm getting up. I gotta get up pretty early. My flight's at like 7 a.m. So I'm gonna leave the room at like 5 a.m.

So to meet the driver or whatever. So you wanna say, best of luck. It was nice being a roommate with you for six months or whatever. And I was like, yeah, okay, cool. So I got up at 4 a.m. before he got up. And while he was still asleep, I opened up his duffel bag.

He hadn't locked it yet. And in it were his class A shoes, which are like army dress shoes. And I took them in the bathroom and I peed in them a little bit. And then I put them back in the duffel bag and then I put all his clothes back in. And then for good measure,

I just peed in the duffel bag a little bit and then I shut it up. And then I went back to bed and I never talked to him or saw him again. I assume he figured it out at some point. Not something I would do now. I bet not. But when did you think he realized? Well, probably when he opened up the duffel bag wherever he got when he got there. Maybe he just thought like a dog at the airport pissed in it or something maybe he thought

a dog in the airport but but you know that was also like urine was commonplace like these are a bunch of like these are 18 19 year old kids that are fucking living in military barracks they can't go anywhere so they get they just do dumb shit like a week before that i remember this just popped into my head. We shared a bathroom with like suitemates and there were two other dudes on the other side. A week before that, I was woken up at two in the morning by screaming and laughing and I ran into the other room and one of these guys, one of the two guys I know

was laughing while another guy was trying to beat him up and they were both naked and figured out what happened was the guy came in drunk and he thought it would be funny to piss on his roommate's head while he was sleeping and so the roommate woke up because he was getting pissed on in the head and so he was angry the other and he started beating the shit out of the guy the other guy was just drunk and laughing and still pissing and so there was like a tangle of urine and 19 year or 22 year old dudes or however old they were just rolling around. One of them was screaming and trying to kill the other one. And the other one was just laughing his fucking ass off, still peeing.

And so that kind of shit happened all the time. I love the phrase that someone woke up because they were getting pissed on in the head. I had, dude, I had it, people do weird shit in the army. I went on a trip one time to go surfing at Port Aransas with some friends of mine, the guy that taught me how to surf, army trip, right?

This is when I was stationed at Fort Hood. And I woke up in the middle of the night because one of my friends was laughing. And it was like loud. And I woke up and one of my friends, this guy Dale, had gotten really, really drunk. We were all drunk.

You know, we were kids. And he had taken all of our wallets and he had put them in the corner of a motel. We were like staying at like a Motel 6. And he had put them all in the corner of the room and was just pissing on them. His wallet, my wallet, my friend Mike's wallet, my friend Pete's wallet. He just put them in a pile and was just pissing on our wallets. Still to this day, I don't know why he did it. He was blackout drunk.

He just thought it would be a funny thing to do. Weird decision. Didn't remember doing it in the morning. Had no memory of it. I have so much respect that he put his in the pile too. His was in there too. His was in there too. He's like, I'm gonna make it fair. A, who pisses on a wallet. B b who pisses on all the walls in front of us like i'm waking people up like

pete what's going on dale stop it what are you doing man he's like what he had no fucking clue it was like he was like sleep drunk pissing but he was laughing when he did it was fucking weird man i when you piss on somebody when you use weird, man. When you piss on somebody, when you use piss as a weapon, and you piss on the head of someone, and they go for the attack, and you keep pissing, it's a great move.

It's really hard to counter. How are you going to go after him? Well, I know it's hard for the guy to stop, but I'm saying when you go to punch him, you're just going to get peed on more, and the guy just wins. You don't lose. Even if you're going to beat up,

you're continuing to win because you're pissing on the person. It's really hard to get in non-pissing range for an attack. It would be different. I don't want to go off on a tangent, but I probably have more pissing stories, too, about the army. It's a urine-filled

environment. It sounds like Eric wants us to get away from pissing onto the salad and drawing stuff. Maybe we can have some piss next week. That's okay. I think we've covered enough pee. And I think enough people were covered in pee in this episode that we can just move on. Summer's here and the living ain't easy if you've got swamp ass.

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That's joinhoney.com slash face. Thank you so much. Do you guys want to do the room? I think we end on the room and start do the salad now what do you think let's do that okay all right okay eric you want to hop on and uh read the i guess we should take notes right on there's gonna be four salads there will be four salads ladies gentlemen welcome i have four salads that i'm going to be sharing with you today thank you so much for joining me for a salad segment of F*** Face.

I'll be reading four salads. I think instead of you guys, do we guess right away after I give you what the salads are, or do you write them down and then we guess? Do we go one, two, three, four, or what would you like to do? I think we do one at a time, then we move to the next one. So we won't know all the

salads before we're making the guess. Correct. I guess then it'll narrow down who has what what but it's just a lot of ingredients to remember for all four at one i'm just gonna i think you just read them and i'm gonna write down my impressions as you go okay okay well here's the first salad i won't say who it is obviously jeff has used a salad generator uh that we are all supposed to use and have used and there's a lot here, so bear with us. Also, dressing, I think, will not factor in because the dressings that were on this site were insane and weird.

So please ignore that there's no dressing. I mean, it's not a generator in that it's random. You pick the ingredients that generates the recipe. Yes, correct, which is really just the recipe of here are all of these things, tear them them up and put them in a bowl. Put them in a bowl, yeah. First salad. Greens.

Romaine. Watercress. Iceberg lettuce. Vegetables. Carrots. Celery. Cucumber. Tomato.

Radish. Mushroom. Fruit. Apples. Protein. Eggs. Grains. Corn corn yummify pine nuts goat cheese croutons that is salad number one okay okay interesting salad are you ready for now are you guys writing things down should i move on to salad number two i've I've written who I initially think it is.

Now I'm going to, you know, that, and that opinion might change based on subsequent salads. Okay. Okay. Did you guys, did Andrew Gavin,

did you guys do the same thing? I, yeah, I took some notes. And just to be clear, these are four salads. It's myself, Gavin,

Jeff, and Nick. Correct. Yeah. Correct. Okay. Second salad, greens,

spinach, vegetables, tomato, bell pepper, Jeff, and Nick have submitted salads. Okay. Second salad. Greens. Spinach. Vegetables. Tomato. Bell pepper. Avocado. Mushroom. Fruit. None.

Protein. Chicken. Grains. Corn. There's a little mix up here. Dressing. Salsa. Guacamole.

Yummify. Cheese and croutons. Okay. Very different from the last salad.ify, cheese and croutons. Okay. Very different from the last salad. Incredibly different from the last salad. Yeah. Okay. Yep.

Here I, oh boy, how am I going to, okay, here we go. Here we go. I'm going to go ahead and put Andrew for this one. This is, here it is. Greens, Boston lettuce. Vegetables. Bell peppers. That's not the only greens.

You okay, Eric? You alright, Eric? The point of the game... The point of the game... The point of the game is that you're supposed to... You're supposed to guess who it is. Agreed there into the game I had already written down his name the second Eric said oh boy I'm gonna start at the top because it's all out of order and I'm just going to read these ingredients.

Why don't you just do a screenshot? Listen, this is... I didn't do a screenshot. I screenshotted it. I thought that was easier to read, what I'm saying. It's not. Here it is.

Apparently not. Raisins, bell peppers, tomato, kidney beans, chicken, cheddar cheese, Boston lettuce, steak, orange, cashews, corn, blueberries, broccoli, spinach. You're leaving out some very important details of the salad, Eric. I can only read the ingredients and then you can tell everyone about your idea. Okay.

Here is the lat. This is, it's so, it was so difficult to parse that. Uh, here is the last salad. Okay. Greens,

Romaine, vegetables, carrots, cucumber, tomato, radish, mushroom, red cabbage,

fruit, none protein, chick, cucumber, tomato, radish, mushroom, red cabbage, fruit, none. Protein, chickpeas and chicken, grains, none. Yummify, sunflower seeds, bacon, cheese, and croutons. Those are the four salads for F*** Face. If you want to make those salads and then eat them, can you take a picture and send it to us? Because I, especially the third one that I read, starts with raisins. I love Andrew just stepping into the mystery salad and breaking it.

That's not all the greens. Those are the greens. That's not all the greens. Don't forget the spinach. The spinach is very important to the salad. Okay, well well I have mine written down Gavin do you have yours Andrew do you have yours

do you mean like predicting who made what was salad number one that's with the romaine watercress iceberg lettuce the standouts are pine nuts goat cheese croutons really and eggs to me I wrote down Nick Andrew do you have a me. I wrote down Nick. Okay.

Andrew, do you have a guess? I originally wrote down Nick, and then I swapped to Gavin. Okay, and Gavin, do you have a guess? I do. Uh-huh, and what's your guess? It was me! Damn it! Damn it, I got that one wrong.

Gavin's Salad. That was a tough one. I would eat that. It sounds good. It does. That sounded like it. I like the eggs and everything in there. Very interesting. I do need to specify I want

the mushrooms raw. Okay. Yeah, obviously. Mushrooms gotta be raw. Okay. What is the name of your salad? What's the name of it? A salad needs a name. I feel like that's a key part of salad criteria. You need a name for your salad. Right. With this thing that Andrew invented, it needs a name. I got a name. I got a name. Every salad has a name. I got a name. I got a name.

Every salad has a name. Regulation salad. That's a good name. It's a great name. Incredible. It's a great name. Incredible. So that's the regulation salad.

The second salad, spinach. This is the one with the salsa and guacamole, cheese and crouton, the corns, the chicken, no fruit. The second salad. I went for Nick on this one. Okay. Andrew? It is a topping. Yeah, I went Nick. There's a lot of dressing. Okay. And Jeff? I went with Gavin, but obviously I think Nick

is the answer. And the answer is Nick. Absolutely. Okay. Now onto the third salad. I wrote down Andrew. Oh. Okay. I mean, to refresh refresh your memory this is the one that starts with raisins yeah raisins and oranges yeah uh-huh and uh gavin do you have a guess on the third salad i went with uh mr pantin okay and andrew do you have a guess also on the third salad

that would be my salad this would be my creation what's the name of your salad well this is an important i wanted to honor somebody who is close to this show a real icon just in the world in general this is called the dinner zimmer salad this is the ingredients as I sent to Eric I have taken every place he

has worked and I have I have sourced an ingredient that is local to that place when you think of these places, these ingredients apply to those places. They're iconic. I will take any questions. And also, I think it's sort of cowardly

to not have a dressing. It's a key part of the salad, even if we're not using the spreadsheet or whatever. So it's served, and this was my honey mustard mention. Honey mustard vinaigrette. I already got honey mustard in earlier, but this is my guarantee. Gonna mention honey mustard. The dinner Zimmer.

But I must point out that once again, we were trying to make, like, we were trying to make just a good base salad. This is a salad that I would eat. Okay. All right. So then salad four, it sounds like, is pretty obviously my salad.

Yeah, that is the one with the sunflower seeds, the bacon crouton, chickpeas. I was 100%. Way to go, Zach. Yeah, you and Andrew both were 100%. Yeah. Congratulations. I was the only one.

Way to go. Yeah, congratulations, guys. Boston lettuce, huh? Yeah. Yeah. So then, Gavin, you're officially, I don't, Nick's not here, so we can't ask him his salad name,

unless he included it. He did not. Okay, so we're gonna call him his salad name, unless he included it. He did not. Okay, so we're going to call, so Gavin's is called Regulation Salad? Mm-hmm. Is that right? And Andrew, yours is called the Dinner Zimmer Salad? The Dinner Zimmer.

Okay. Well, that's interesting. I had a name as well. Funny how our naming conventions tend to overlap. My salad is called the Regulation Zimmer Salad. So that's interesting. You came up with that two seconds ago. Oh, no, no.

I came up with it before that. Interesting. Yeah. I'm going to send... This is my full notes for my salad he sent this unprovoked with no explanation well okay what happened was i was gonna edit a few things when i sent it but when you hit enter in slack it just sends the message i was trying to drop down so i just said whoops I still have stuff I want to add.

I mean, you can edit on Slack. You can edit that post. I don't know how to do that. It seems like work. Well, I wanted a drop-down. How do you do the drop-down without hitting enter, without submitting? What do you mean the drop-down?

You see how it's like one line, LA Dodgers, next line, Chicago? Shift-enter. Oh, really? That's how you do that? Well, I think in every field everywhere, that's how you's like one line, LA Dodgers, next line, Chicago. Shift enter. Oh, really? That's how you do that? Well, I think in every field everywhere, that's how you get down a line. Yeah, that would be correct. I didn't know that.

Okay. This is my notes. These are the full extensive notes of my salad. I did a lot of research. I thought a lot about it. Texas Rangers, George Foreman sponsored a grill steak well george foreman was born in texas he's a texas icon when you think of george foreman you think of the george foreman grill name a better thing to grill than a steak texas new york yankees

nuts for nuts cashews i mean john zimmer seemed like a nuts guy he seemed like a nuts guy. He seemed like a nuts dude. So these are just your justifications for these. Yeah, these are. Yeah, this is why these things are what they are. I could see Don Zimmer going to the stadium, getting the nut, getting some nuts from the vendor. There's a bunch of vendors, not for nuts. The leading vendor in New York for nuts.

New York Mets. King of Queens. Kevin James loves pizza and result tomato yeah well the new york mets they're based in queens so i went to the king of queens and if you search kevin james food you get a bunch of photos of him eating pizza the guy loves pizza so to honor the king of queens where don zimmer played or was him yeah i think he was a player for the Mets. Got it, tomato. I like that Eric thought that 25 minutes was too much time to invest in recreating by drawing Andrew's room.

Andrew has clearly put days of work into this. This was, this was like, no, this was, listen, you wanted me, you said the salad thing, I put the time in. I felt this was important. I appreciate it. It's not a criticism of you. I appreciate the effort that you've put into this. Washington senators, Washington, they were in D.C. D.C., when I think of D.C., you think of Daniel Cormier,

one of the greatest MMA fighters of all time. Guy loves Popeyes. Gotta go with chicken. Did a whole music video about Popeyes chicken, dancing about it. It's a clear chicken take. I don't know what you want. Name something more Californian than California raisins.

Try it. But you can't. Oranges. I always think of oranges with California. You didn't even use oranges there. I think of Florida for oranges. Got the Montreal Expos. Classic restaurant, the orange tulip.

It's a giant orange they serve orange products hot dogs iconic staple of montreal didn't need it classic restaurant oh i'm exhausted by that yeah what was your tampa ingredient uh john cena loves broccoli broccoli so john cena born in tampa uh clearly he's big right now in the fast movies he's part of the family in general. We love some John Cena. What's the ingredient from that place? Let me think of someone who likes something from there.

I don't understand. John Cena's from Massachusetts. Is he? Yeah. He's from Massachusetts. Let's do it. I googled people. Oh no! He's built from West Newburyberry massachusetts which is not boston but that's where he's i'm pretty sure born and raised john cena oh well

let's maybe he went to florida once no he's born he was oh i got it he was in that movie sisters and that took place in orlando so maybe that's what you're thinking of oh i gotta i could have i searched famous people that were born in tampa bay known for i guess maybe i didn't well that's disappointing i'm gonna have to reevaluate i'm gonna have to reevaluate tampa i would not recommend searching what John Cena's favorite food is. It goes a place you would not anticipate. It's a whole thing.

Good to know. So you can't find the documentation that you found initially that says he's from Tampa? No, I cannot. I don't know where I got that from. I'll look into it. i'm sure i read it somewhere i didn't just come up with tampa bay john cena i was very excited about that too what

a disappointment of a reveal that is i feel like that really undercuts my salad that really hurts the theme of it oh man i'm sorry buddy that's sad I still think I have the best ah fuck are you telling I'm older than John Cena yeah what do you mean

yeah that is that is that surprising to you he's an action movie star he seems like such a well so is Liam Neeson dumbass he seems like such a

grown up to me Kurt Reynolds you think John Cena is a grown up he seems like a grown up to me. He like he worked for like he's a pro wrestler and like dressed like

a giant toddler. What? I didn't He did dress like a giant toddler. However, he feels like a grown-up to me. It's the same problem I have with Fast and the Furious. He's supposed to be Vin Diesel's younger brother and I just can't make it make sense that he's younger than Vin Diesel. I know he is.

Really? But in my head, Vin Diesel's like, I don't know, like a 22 year old in an old dude's body. Are you serious? What the fuck? What a weird... In my head, Vin Diesel's like 55. He is about 55, yeah. I just think of him forever as like, I don't know.

You don't think of him... I don't think of him as a grown-up. I don't know. What a weird thing that is. I guess. Why? Why do you not view him as it's like how he looks? I guess so. I don't know.

I don't know what it is. He just like, maybe it's because. It's boyish charm. Maybe it's because most of my Vin Diesel has been Vin Diesel in Fast and the Furious. And he, his character wears the same clothes in 1 as he does in 9. And so in 1, he's like 19, and in 9, he's 80, and he's still wearing the same, like... He's not 19 in 1.

How old is he in 1? He's got to be in his 30s. I'd say late 20s to early 30s. In the story, he's supposed to be in his 30s? Oh, in the story, I'd say mid-20s would be my guess. Mid to late, once again. How old is

Vin Diesel? I mean, they got a show's driver license at some point. I liked in the new one where they do a flashback to 1989 and I just looked at Vin Diesel's character and just thought, Vin Diesel wishes he looked like that in 1989. Oh, yeah. Wasn't he selling shark toys in 1989?

I feel like Jeff just constantly has Vin Diesel shark toys. Vin Diesel, as is how old he is. What are the shark toys called? You know what I'm talking about, Eric? I feel like you're the only one. The shark toys. They're called street sharks. They were Jawsome.

Thank you. Yeah. Jawsome. They're called street sharks. They were Jawsome. Thank you. Yeah. Jawsome. Yeah, this is great. Let's drop this in. I feel like in Jeff's head, this is how old. So are we cutting all this part out or what's going on? Like, this isn't.

Like, I can't imagine. This is just Andrew going shark toys, shark toys, shark toys. And Jeff going, how old is Vin Diesel in fast there's no way this makes not about Vin Diesel how old is Dominic Toretto in season in the first one season one I guess he kind of did look like that that was a pretty accurate portrayal of

him him as a youngster then I Google how old is Dominic Toretto in the Fast and Furious at 40 is the first thing that pops up. 40 as of the 8th film. Yeah, look at this. How old is... Look at those two pictures. That's why I don't think he's a grown-up.

Because he's still wearing the same clothes he was wearing. He's still wearing the same shirt he was wearing when he was 19. The only thing that's the same is the shirt. Everything else has aged rapidly. Well, obviously. He looks completely different. But I don't think of him as a grown-up.

I think of him as a man-child. I'm not saying I don't think of him as old. I just don't think of him as a grown-up. This is the weirdest tangent we've had. I don't understand why it's weird. There's lots of people that are old that I don't think of as, like, old. And there's lots of people that are young that I think of as, like... Being a grown up is

all about like how you carry yourself. It's about your demeanor. Yeah, I get that. Dom's date of birth, August 29th 1976. Yeah, I saw that. There you go. Okay. So when did the first movie come out? Well, the year it came out doesn't represent necessarily what year the story took

place in. What year did the story take place? I have no idea. I think it was a period piece. I think it was in the time. You think that every... So the year of the movie is the year of the story as well? Like they're connected?

I think we can assume that they're close. Minus... 19... This whole bit. We have to cut this out. Like, what is this? According to this. No, cut it out.

That's fine. According to this, he was about 20. According to the story, he should have been about 25 years old in Fast 1. It's not. I don't think your point is weird, Jeff. I think Vin Diesel is a weird person to be the president of the younger than he looks club. Really? That's what I think is odd.

Yeah, I don't think Vin Diesel, I think Vin Diesel looks his age. Not younger than he looks, younger than he presents himself and acts. Oh, God. You've lost me now. It's what I just said earlier.

Being a grown-up isn't about age as much as how you carry yourself and the demeanor. I don't think he carries himself as a grown-up. Okay. I see what you're saying.

I just don't understand how it's hard not to. Hard not to understand what you're saying? Yeah, I feel like it's pretty fucking clear what I'm saying, and it's very... Well, I think it's, like, partially understood and also partially just baffling. No, I feel like we established that, but we also established that about eight minutes ago, and now we've just been quietly...

Well, yeah, but that all got cut. Okay, so... Should we move on to the room? Yeah, can you guys... Or maybe... What? No, go ahead, Jeff. I was just going to say, maybe we save...

We're like an hour in. Maybe we should save that for next week. Well, no. No, because the audience will fucking kill you. Just... Oh, we got it, too. We can do the room next week. We should do the room now.

Okay. Okay. You want to do the room now? Well, how do we want to do this? Well, let's do this. Andrew, why don't you describe once again for us, I think you already read it earlier, but one more time, just

read the description you gave us of your bedroom. Do we have a transition to this bit or are we just going to, where do we leave off? I don't. This is the best episode of this show what do you mean where well if we're gonna cut all that last bit or a lot of that last bit how do we get from that to the room

you do it i think it's figured out uh uh uh fucking sure four walls three doors I think it's just like that. Sounds right. Fucking sure. Four walls. Three doors all at the top. I don't know anymore. All right. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Start over because I want to get this clean so that way everyone can hear it and draw themselves.

I'm just feeling sorry for Nick. Okay. Four walls. Three doors all at the top. No wall has multiple doors on it, but one has two doorways. Two windows. Bed at the back.

I don't know why I did that. They've all written their versions the previous week. That was the whole point of the last one. We did this. We covered this. It's to recap. Yeah, it's to recap. Okay.

Okay. Jesus Christ. Fair enough. Well, Eric just said it was for people to write. He wanted it clean so people could continue. The whole reason we're doing this, if you didn't listen last week, is because we've been hearing about the mystery that is Andrew Panton's room for 57, 58, 59 episodes now.

And so we had the idea last episode to draw like a top-down view of what we think Andrew's room looks like, and so those are the instructions he gave us. Gavin, would you like to drop your room into the Discord? Can do. What the fuck? Holy shit! Door with no door

door. This is a lot to unpack. Window. Waffle maker. Andrew is depicted in yellow and all the labeling is in blue door piss collection

Canadian flag I assume I mean he is piss boy we haven't really covered like what he does after he's looked at piss but I thought maybe yeah the sushi box yeah Eric and the fire extinguisher waffle maker and you got the tumbleweed with a handle in the top left oh my god I thought maybe, yeah, the sushi box, yeah, Eric, and the fire extinguisher, waffle maker, and you've got the tumbleweed with a handle in the top left.

Oh, my God. First off, should we ask Andrew what he thinks, how close it is, or should we show mine and then do both at once? Yeah, I think we should show you. Well, I assume Andrew would have also drawn the actual room to compare ours to. No, why would I draw the room? So we know what the room so we know what

so we know what i took no i took a video of the room i did a video of the room and i have a i have a blueprint of the what the the space i used a i used a tool an architectural design tool the doors open into each other they do so at the top at the top you've got the door leading into the rest of the house where i assume other people live immediately to the right of that is a is a desk with a fire extinguisher uh with a with a microphone attached to it next to a mini frizz all the way to the right is the door to the shitter that's where you go and you do your shits and your baths. Then down that wall is a hole where a closet is where you make your hot dogs.

Middle. He said most of the room is bed. So I tried to make the bed as large as possible. Don't want to forget the Casio keyboard. Put the eight pillows on. Didn't have room for the waffle maker, but we haven't talked about waffles in a while. I included the Pam and the Keurig just in case on the nightstand. maker, but we haven't talked about waffles in a while. I included the Pam and the Keurig just in case on the

nightstand. Oh, on the other side, you have a sushi box because I also wanted to be sure to include that. On the left wall, you've got a window. From that window, you can look to the right and see McDonald's and ladies peeing. Sightline to pee ladies. Further up that door

is the outside door, which opens up, well, it opens in, but it goes straight to McDonald's and urine. How close was I? How close was Gavin, Andrew? I got it. I can't believe how similar these are and also the level of effort.

Like I obviously spent the time doing it in the drawing. Jeff spent the time getting hold of an architectural tool and real images and the big keyboard. They're so similar. I love it.

They're so similar. I don it. They're so similar. I don't know how to measure who's more correct. The level of detail in both is fantastic. I'm going to drop the blueprint first of just the space. And then I will do the video of the room. So this is pulled. That's really smooth. That's the tiniest.

Yeah, that's unfortunate. That did not work out very well. We will move to the video. Why is that so small? I don't know. Did that come from your phone? Is that what it does to videos? No, that came from my computer.

I did that before we did the show. What's the resolution? 12 by 8. It was a screen grab you sent us a 14 pixel image we put that in all of its size and glory on the oh my god yeah the video in oh there we go this is the room i can't wait for this this is the room okay so this oh i'm feeling pretty good all the sauce i'm feeling i forgot about the sauce there's that oh my god i fucking nailed it i'm so close i got it a hundred percent i got it perfect

i nailed it perfect i didn't miss anything! Jeff's done it, I think, with that. But here's some discrepancy in Jeff's drawing. The sushi container was by the fridge. That's where the sushi fall happened. Okay, fine. I bet there's been a sushi container there at some point, though. Nah, I don't know about that. Neither of us got the chest of drawers.

No, I didn't do that. I forgot about that. Where are all the pillows? I feel like I've been lied to. Oh, no, the pillows. Okay, so the pillows are behind the bed at this point, I think. Oh, where's the fridge? You got the sight line to the piss.

That was a guess, dude. That was a total guess. You've nailed that. I can't believe it. I don't. Where's the mini fridge? Am I missing it? It is the sauce container.

Oh, so I got that right too! It's under the... Oh my fucking god! Yeah, I think... Well, I think we both got the fridge position, did we? Well, Gavin's is more correct, I'd say, as far as the fridge position, but your door is off. My door is off. My window

behind the bed is off. Yeah, no, Jeff definitely wins this. There's no Canadian flag like I was hoping. No. You know what this means? This means I speak full Pantin. I'm fully fluent in Andrew. I'm like the Andrew Whisperer. I can't believe

I got it so close. Well, I think it comes down to his description, I think, was very good. It was. You got it very close, too, Gavin. You really did. Andrew is good at summarizing instructions because, I mean, even with the guy looking up, the description, when you listen to it, was actually very good. You called me ridiculous for saying all doors at the top.

They're all at the top. I don't know what you want from me. Well, because not the top is it. The top wall. You don't walk into a room and be like, oh, stick that picture on the top wall. If you look at this diagram, though, you would say the top is where I said it was. If you cut it down the middle.

I'd say the back. You think that's the back? You think the front wall is the back? You think you enter from the back of the room? Well, we've drawn the whole thing upside down, haven't we? We're orientating it on your body at your desk would you call your bedroom door the back door there's no way it's the back door well no i'd say that yeah i'd enter in the front and yeah whatever i'm looking at is the back but none of it's the top is what i'm saying the

ceiling is the top sure that's fair i was just trying to stick with the words used for the the face drawing and i think under that criteria i was completely accurate in my look tail of where the doors are that's so similar we can criticize your words all day long andrew but those words put gavin and i very close to each other in our design and very close to the actual room so all criticism aside it worked you know i think that saying it's the top of the room was fucking stupid too, but it worked. I've got to watch the video again. I've got to see how big the bed is.

Oh, yeah. It's a big desk. I wasn't checking for bed size. There's so much to take in. I'm going to have to watch this frame by frame later. There's so much to learn about the room. Some clothes. What is that picture?

What's that picture in the frame? It really is mostly a bed. Jeff's... Yeah. Why is there a step up into that picture? What's that picture? It really is mostly a bed. Jeff. Yeah. Why is there a step up into that door? Oh, that's a question. Oh, it's a patio. It goes to a patio.

Because that door is at the top. It's like not on the ground. There's some paper towels and a shoe. there's so much to take in here there's one shoe and a there's some kitchen roll oh that is one shoe what kind of where's the other shoe uh it's uh it's near the desk i think i don't know why it's in that corner what's in the yellow bowl what is in the that's a good question i'll see i'll check are those the same headphones you use in the bathtub uh the ones on the bed yes those are good question. I'll see. I'll check. Are those the same headphones you use in the bathtub? The ones on the bed, yes.

Those are the bathtub headphones. I'll be right back. What's that big picture next to the closet? It looks like an X-ray of some shoes. Oh, it is. It's an X-ray of shoes. What is it? It's just two bottles in the bowl.

It's not that exciting of a bowl. Okay. What's on the picture? The shoe X-ray. Which picture? Which one? It looks like a shoe X-ray. Between the hot dog in the shit room that was somebody uh in the community made that and uh they sold it i bought it but

what is it what is it we can't quite make it out it's like it's like two things of converse shoes oh okay yeah it's not it's i mean it's just it's pretty normal you got uh the halo 3 legendary yeah i do still hanging on to that see inside. See inside the hot dog closet just a little bit. I'm surprised nobody's pointing out my super cool Sahara framed. What is that? I don't know what that is. It's from the movie Sahara with everyone's favorite. Yep.

Everyone's favorite action movie. Was it like a real film cell? What is in there? No, it's the two coins. It's like they're chasing after these coins and they're two coins for the movie that they put into a thing it was given to me as a birthday gift when i was younger i might be the only person with sahara merchandise on their wall not exactly the biggest of movies can i be honest with you filing cabinet i started to watch that movie when it came out and i I fucking left. Oh, it's not bad. It's not that bad.

Yeah. Rainn Wilson in it. Steve Zahn is on. I think the bed is the most confusing. It looks like you have a tiny duvet, and it's scrunched up to become a pillow. Where's the rest of the bed stuff? Part of it is on the floor. Do you just sleep in a ball with everything just curled?

What's going on there? Well, no, it's just, you know, we were recording these earlier than we normally do. I just kind of got out of bed and kind of threw everything together. Hey, no criticism here, bud. I think it looks fun. I love that bit. I think I can't wait for people to see our diagrams.

I'm excited to see people's diagrams i also love that we we both put similar effort into it but they both have their own distinct feels like i love that you used black white and blue within the yellow andrew it's like such it's so it's striking honestly and i was trying to do something similar in a notepad like writing it down on paper and i just i couldn't do it justice which is why i switched yeah dude what a segment oh we know andrew way better than we thought we did gavin yeah i think i can i would be able to translate andrew into english to other people i think i think you did i think i just speak english based on the fact you both got it and i think we'll see we'll see.

We'll see with other people's drawings. Like once again, when we did the face thing, Jeff fucking did terrible and all of his everyone else in the community nailed it. So I think. Yeah. Do you think people in the community? Do you think they'll draw the rooms before they see our diagrams? Because maybe we can do a collection. Oh, definitely.

Because we asked at the end of last episode to do that with the instructions so I assume that they will come with that one I think people are going to nail this I do too I bet we'll put like a thousand images up on the Instagram it's weird because the way Andrew describes stuff a lot of the time when you first hear it it's like how is that

possible and then you see the video and it's like it's exactly what it is exactly what it is exactly what it is i describe it as this i mean there's no keyboard in the in the video but that's that is on a different bed i moved it to a different bed because i don't have a stand that is a bed that is not that used it's just it's there it's in a different room so if we come to stay we'll have to make room for the keyboard yeah you'd have in the in the guest room, you'll have to move the keyboard off the bed. Here's what we'll do, Gav.

We can share a bed. We've done that before. We'll put the keyboard in between us to keep us honest. Yeah, can we do that when we come to stay, Andrew? Can we sleep on either side of the keyboard? Oh, you are welcome to sleep on either side of the keyboard. I would love to do that. I would love to do that.

From all of us inside your bedroom. Oh, we've got to do it. Next bathtub race. Yes. Next bathtub race. And obviously we've got to give ourselves an hour and a half to find the place. Oh, right, right.

Yeah, there'll be that race too. All right. I think we should end this one. That was a jam-packed fucking episode. I'm afraid for next episode. well we'll have stuff oh yeah or we won't yeah no I think we'll be great I think you have put a lot of pressure on us with the this episode will suck I think it unless it was that a reverse jinx I didn't say this episode was gonna suck I think this episode's great oh what was

the whole thing at the beginning about the last episode did really well so this one is oh like karmically yeah this one this one will tank just because the last one did well yeah but no it won't because of the content it'll be because of the universe Eric seems mad I have meetings after this so let's wrap up

Eric's angry let's wrap up thanks for listening to another episode of F*** Face and congratulations we all now know what Andrew's room looks like we can all die and if you don't die we'll see you next week