F**kface - CUMBCAR // Mystery Blood [42]

Episode Date: February 26, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Nicknames, knuckle method continued, electric toilet seat, we didn't get the office yet, license plate, Geoff's Deja Vu nightmare, stickiness, Gurplid, bathroom water, Muglnir, bloodiest friend, home alone, Mario Party March, Andrew's headboard, Gavin's prediction, Wemby out, Pencil Judge Survivor, and Slack. Sponsored by Shopify. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/face Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of the regulation podcast. This is episode 42. I am your host. My name is Baby Pepsi. And with me, as always, Gassy Goo, the mechanic, Lil Ricky B and Gizmo. That's the first time I get to officially use our new nicknames. And I was so scared I was going to fuck it up this morning that I watched the I watched the nickname draft again the last 10 minutes just to make sure I had them all right. And then I practiced and then I still almost fucked it up on my name out the gate.

I played you great. God, you did fantastic. On the outside, I might have done well on the inside. It was a dumpster fire. It was great. It came across great. I'm can we say before we really get going into this episode, I'm alarmed that Gavin is here. I'm very worried. I don't trust him being clean right now.

And he texted you or someone. I don't know if it was a slap. He slacked it. Once again, he declared an emergency poo one minute before we were supposed to start. And then he showed up like 40 seconds later, which I don't understand. I didn't start the emergency poo at 1059. I was just like, you know, I was still dealing with one.

Yeah, but the fact that you showed up so the fact that you felt the need to alert us that that was occurring yet still showed up. Well, let's be fair. I I know how long it takes me to wipe. And I was budgeting accordingly. How long does it take? How long does it take you to wipe? Probably do it for a minute. That's a lot of wiping, dude.

You must have a raw asshole. We also know, though, however, that Gavin has a system worked out where he doesn't have to wash his hands after he goes to the bathroom. Because they don't, they never touch anything other than his phone, apparently. So I guess that cuts down on time. That's for a specific bog and only for piss. And I still, and the whole point is I still wash my hands anyway. I'm just saying I don't have to. Why bother? Why bother? Because just, I wash my hands a bunch every day. Can I can I ask a can I ask a personal question? You can you feel free not to answer this when you do a podcast poo like this.

Are you using your knuckle method or is this no need for the knuckle? I was wondering that as well. Now, that's no need. Oh, I'm not. Well, you do. But you don't you don't do one just one. You do both. Yeah, you do both when you put both knuckles. I don't think I've ever taken a shit and not peed in my life.

Yeah. Oh, no, I'm saying if if there's poo involved, I don't knuckle. Hmm. Don't trust it. You also said something. You said something I thought was interesting a few seconds ago. On the why bother front something you said something I thought was interesting a few seconds ago on the why bother front you said Yeah, I I don't have to wash my hands, but I do anyway I wash my hands tons of a bunch of times a day why bother why bother going through the process of telling us you could Get through using the bathroom without washing your hands if you go also going to wash your hands

Yeah, the discussion was with Meg. I was like look surely I don't have to do this But I I didn't ever just not ever wash my hands. Why? What did who the conversation was with have to do with anything? Is Meg in the room with us right now? Yeah. As a that's a weird clarification. Well, like sometimes, right? Sometimes Jeff will say something about a conversation with Emily or Eric will mention a conversation with this small wife. I'm just saying that was the person who I had the conversation

with about, holy shit, don't have to wash my hands. I'm just enjoying. I said one thing and we're all going at you for different things. I'm just trying to add on to it. I'm really enjoying it. And someone who's typically on the back foot. I would say the audience is pretty on board with the old the knuckling. I was on board with the not that they do it with a knuckle. Yeah, it's just the way you said it. But it was the was wrong with the way I said it. You said it. I think everyone I don't want to say everyone, obviously, that's not true.

But I feel the majority of people I saw vocalize. They agreed with you, but that you described it in a poor way. Well, what's new there? The only reason the knuckle came into it is because I was trying to invent a bidet attachment that just had a little knuckle on it that came out. It could have been anything. It could have been a ball. It could have been a fingertip. You know, we were saying that we could we could invent the tool.

Emily was saying you should call it a moose knuckle But I was just thinking you could call it a goose knuckle. Why why are you bringing Emily into this? I wanted to give her credit for the idea that I then modified He was explaining I don't want to context of it We're your reference to that you had a conversation with Meg was set in a defensive tone as if that somehow clarified something Where it was just really an additional piece of info that was your if this keeps the fight going I'm on Gavin's side So has anyone tried it in between no I mean, I kind of have my own pull and tug and shake method. Okay, so you go, you pretty much deal with the penis?

Yeah, I mostly just deal with the penis. I don't really, I don't really fuck with the the gooch that much. I mostly just like pull and tug and yank and shake and go, God damn it, dude, stop, just stop dripping. Be done. dude stop just stop dripping be done for fuck's sake be done nick has his own method as well okay oh yeah it's like jeff's it's like come on let's go i got i got shit to do get the drips out and how long are we dripping for typically you add like four seconds every year of age yeah at this point, at this point I drip way longer than I pee. Not that bad yet.

I think people got the wrong end of the stick because I was talking about going from the back with the bidet. I don't ever touch any of that from behind, right? I don't even have to touch my skin. I can do it through my boxes. Your Rhino, I could just get a finger, you know, up by the balls through the boxes. Give it a little and then my I'm done. My issue is never with the journey as much as it was the location. And you can't really change that.

You can tell me you're going north, you're going east. It doesn't really matter. It's where we're landing is is. Yeah, it was less about the approach and more about the destination. But we can change it up if you want. You can tell me we're going we're going the different direction. We're going to go up the right leg. We're going to hook around the thigh.

We're going to go up over the belly button. I what about if it was just the toilet seat that shocked you? They gave you a little electric shock. How do you feel about that? What? What does it do? It shocks you.

I felt that part was very clear. Why is it so you get the pee out? This sucks. You think you electrocute the piss out? Yeah, I think you could. I think you could surprise yourself and go, oh, and you know, your body like tenses up and then you get all the drips out.

It's easier than changing underwear. I'll do it. So if I sit on a couple of shot colors and see if it helps get the the dregs out, if you have a good test for you. If you put if you put an anti bark collar on your ass and farted, would you shock yourself? Would that be enough to trigger it? What detects the bark?

I don't know. Is it sound vibration? I have no clue what causes those things to shock, but I never thought of if you could activate one via fart. That's very funny to me. What if we call it Jeff's testicles with a shot collar? That's not necessary. That's not necessary. We don't need to do that.

What we need to do is we need to do it. And I'll do it if you do it. OK, I'll do it if you do it. I go in, I stand at the urinal and I pee. And as soon as I wrap up and I begin the dripping, shaking, pulling, pleading, begging process, you electrocute me with a stun gun in the back. And then we'll see what happens. And then I'll do it to you.

And then we'll... That way, that way we both get stun guns. You just fall into the urinal. We're both miserable. And we have two people sample size to determine the success of it. There's no way to just bang my cock into the ceramic. We'll see. I don't know. We don't. It would be a low voltage.

We'll do it on a low. We don't have to. Yeah. I think just the fear that you could be zapped would be enough. I think having someone to stay behind you with a stun gun and you know it's possible that they might shoot you with it Would get you record drip time. Maybe that's what we need. Maybe we need to do a religion style and just rule by fear. Oh Yeah, just every bathroom has a stun gun that zooms out as soon as you start pulling up your underwear Nestles in right next to your butt. I

Think the thing I'm most suspicious of is that Eric is of an age very similar to the amount of podcasts we've done and is still doing all of his squeezing internally apparently. Yep. You just sort of you know, keep it healthy. You keep it healthy. I feel like a squeezer would agree with my shock method, Eric, how do you feel? I don't know. Why, you're insane. Put an electric toilet seat and then zap your ass to get the piss out? But it doesn't happen every time.

I think it only happens sometimes. I don't want it to happen any times, Andrew. It does not need to happen ever, I don't think. Yeah, you do like a little bit of squeezing. Sometimes you just gotta like, you kinda stand there for an extra like little bit and give it a like a little bit of time But you just sort of internal squeezing. Do you do internal squeezing throughout the day? What do you mean? I'm asking Gavin

Like the kegels. Yeah Not really am I supposed to I mean I think it's like working a muscle a little bit, isn't it? You don't work out your Kegel muscles? I don't really think to. Hmm. How's that working out for you? Yeah, maybe I should. So what's your routine? How many reps do you do? The answer is not well. He's fingering his asshole. I'm not fingering my ass.

I'm not sitting down doing reps, but sometimes you just gotta, you know, if you're just kind of like sitting you sit and squeeze But Gavin I'm gonna be honest with you the whole time. We're talking right now Brother I'm squeezing I did it for a second, but I got tired. That's exhausting just put a shock seat I gotta be honest. I didn't think we'd be this far into this episode still talking about Gavin's bathroom I figured we'd be talking nicknames way more than we have, and we just went right into a finger and butts or whatever. I got one last thing on toilets and then I'm going to move on. Do we do you think there's a way?

That you have fingerprints are identifiable. Is there anything on our ass that makes us uniquely identifiable? I have a mole. Oh, I guess that'd be scanning. I don't know how I'd feel about that. I was just thinking about if you have a shock toilet seat, you might not necessarily want everybody in your household to be part of it. So if there's a way like you could sit on it and it like registers your cheeks.

Yeah, like a butt thumbprint. Yeah, I'm pretty sure the anus is pretty unique because there was that service, wasn't there, that turned your anus into little chocolates. I don't want it to scan my anus, though. That's too personal. I don't like. That'd be a really funny thing that the sea fingerprints and anal print on a date for a criminal.

Sir, sir, we swept the whole place. Oh, you get your prints? place. Are you getting fingerprints? No. And you're not going to like what I have to say next. His anus was all over the place. He was beheaded so we couldn't get dental records. But thank God they left the anus intact. I just thought the other of them dusting down a door door being like, this isn't fingers.

Oh, man. Hey, we have there's two things I'd like to talk about today. If you guys don't mind one, I would like to talk about a recent, I don't know, a heartbreak or separate setback. No company has had maybe we can discuss. And then the second thing I'd like to talk about at some point today, just don't let me forget, I am in a deja vu nightmare that I cannot seem to break out of this week. And it's making it's making nighttime miserable for me. a deja vu nightmare that I cannot seem to break out of this week. Oh, I love it.

And it's making... it's making nighttime miserable for me. Do I know about the company Heartbreak? Yeah, I think you do. Yeah. Yeah, we can cover that real fast. But, you know, we've been talking a lot about getting an office and that being something that we're working towards. We have... We don't like to announce announcements, if at all possible. We don't like to talk, get too far ahead of our skis

on this stuff. But we had been making a lot of progress in the background. So much progress, in fact, that we found an office. We toured it three times, went ahead and put in an application, got approved for the application. I paid the deposit. And while I was waiting for the lease to sign, the landlord decided not to rent to us.

And we lost the place and we don't really know why. It's kind of a bummer. It's more than a bummer. It really sucks because it was about three to four weeks of it's basically all of January. Behind the scenes, we were running around looking at properties and I, Eric and I specifically were dealing with a real, uh, like landlords and real estate agents and a tenant. And I had to put in a lot of time in with this tenant to get in his good graces. It was a whole thing.

And just like the rug got pulled out from under us at the 11th and a half hour. And I just, and we tested a lot of the walks to coffee shops and stuff. We did. We were all over the neighborhood. We had started to plan where stuff was going to go. It was the, the really frustrating thing was it was a perfect space for us. Like it was, it checked off literally every single need we had and was affordable. And it just sucks because now we're back to, you know, we're back to zero and we have to start all over again.

And so that's a little peer behind the curtain of stuff that we, you know, that was going on in January that we weren't really talking about publicly because we wanted to get the office first before we brought it up. And because we were so excited about it, you know, and then we fucking lost it. Do you think the owner listened to regulation 41 and just decided? Genuinely no. I don't think it had anything to do with that.

We also lost it before 41 came out. So it would have been 40 that did us in. What I think happened is I think the landlord decided they wanted to sell the place and I wanted they wanted to give us a short lease and I pushed back on that and I wanted at least a year lease and that's where we lost it, which is ludicrous to ask for anything give us a short lease and I pushed back on that. And I wanted at least a year lease. And that's where we lost it, which is ludicrous to ask for anything less than a year lease. So I think it probably means they were just trying to have a stopgap solution until they were ready to put the place on the market and sell it.

Yeah, I was so excited initially when you said that we got rejected because I thought it would be for content reasons. And that's very funny. At the final hour being like, well, maybe I should look into this a little bit and seeing you with a jackhammer in your backyard making a beanhole Like we can't know no was luckily the hot dogs on the on the fan hadn't come out yet Nick said it was probably cum related it might have been who does but we But we definitely lost our office and we don't have one. And now we're, if you know of an office in Austin, let Eric know.

We'll get another one. Please don't let Eric know, thank you. I did the benefit for you of looking at some research of some office buildings. Thanks man, yeah, appreciate it. Really appreciate it, thank you so much. Keep it to yourself, appreciate you. Thanks, man. Yeah, appreciate it. Really appreciate it. Thank you so much Appreciate you anyway, it's it's I bring it up

More just tell you guys a little bit behind the scenes with little a little like a little squeeze of sausage out of the tube But also just to show you that it's it's been a really successful wild Wonderful launch and things have gone incredibly well and almost every front and this is just an example of one that didn't work out for us That's very true. I'd throw that out there. What would be the name of our office? Cum House. Oh, we're in the cum era.

No, I don't know. I really don't. That happened. That happened outside of main regulation canon. But that was if you're interested in the origins of cum with a B, that was from our Mario Party, Gurpaltine's day stream. $8,000. $8,000. And that's, that was in it. The scenario was eight grand, but you have to spell cum with a silent B at the end. And I think I've really, yeah, I've done a, I've done a lot of these, you know, a million

dollars, but which are always quite involved. It's a big life change. I like the idea of little dreggy amounts that would make a huge difference to like a year. But over the span of your lifetime, you wouldn't even be able to notice. I'm really curious to know what you consider like canon content. Regulation podcast. Just that. It's just the podcast. Well, some people don't don't even know about gameplay stuff. Absolutely. Yeah, it's just that was like a big gurp alert. Like I feel like that was a big event stream for us. That that feels like if it was if it was.

Yeah, like if any supplemental content would be considered canon, I feel like that would be the one because it was a direct response to something that happened on the podcast. I was just curious if you had specific like because I've never considered like what is or isn't mainline canon for this podcast. I think that's an interesting thought. Well, I mean, it leaks into the canon because I actually have a request of Jeff. We got some canon leakage.

Yeah. Can I, uh, can I make a request for the license plate of my car? Oh yeah, you can make a request. You want cum car? Let's see if it's available. Yeah, we'll see if it's available. And uh, yeah. C-U-M-B-C-A-R. Maybe if we spell it C see when B space B.

C. A. R. They'll fall for it. Come be car. We look at any successful business, you always just see the front end of it. Well, you don't necessarily think about is what is powering that business. And that's why I am here to tell you about Shopify. They power businesses to allow them to be the powerhouses that you see from the outside. But what's underneath the hood is Shopify.

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Shopify.com slash face to upgrade your selling today. Shopify dot com slash face. So you're in deja vu, Jeff. Oh, my God. All right. This story is a little raw. I haven't like I haven't. I haven't thought exactly how to tell it yet, so I apologize if it's a little meandering, but Sunday night, I go to bed, go to sleep probably at one or two in the mornings.

I've been playing Warzone with the truck boys every night. And at like maybe three, three thirty, I get up to take a piss as as most men my age do. I go into my my bathroom and take a piss pitch black, of course. Right. But, you know, you you know how to move around your room at night. And and I take a piss like normal. And as I'm coming back to my bed, I'm standing next to my nightstand about to get in,

my mouth is dry because I have this stupid, what do you call it, like mouth guard I have to use every night now. And as I'm getting into bed, I see next to my nightstand, there's a white Monster energy drink sitting there. I think that I had put there literally at like 8.30 in the morning when I was getting ready

and forgot about it. And it just sat there all day. And I thought, oh, I'll just grab some of that to wet my mouth down and then go back to bed, right? And so I went to grab it and I pick it up and I drink it, just a little swig. And then I put it back on the nightstand, but somehow I put it on the nightstand wrong

and it falls over and it spills an entire Giant white monster. It's like Going all down the floor. It's hit hardwood floor a rug It's everywhere and it spills it hits me in my jammies so covered in My sticky on my pants and my shirt and Emily and the dog are sleep snoring loudly next to me, right? And so I'm like, it's dark I can't turn the lights on because I don't want no Emily

Emily has to get up and go to work in the morning. Emily works hard days, you know, it's just 12 hour days I try to be very respectful of that and then if the dog wakes up who knows, you know If he gets up then it's you were right. He's he's a hard sleep. He's a heavy sleeper, but once he's awake, he's awake. Mm-hmm And so I just like I'm like fuck. What do I do? I'm not the kind of person that can leave it till morning I just I don't have that in me, you know I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so I go into the bathroom and I just grab a towel and I wet it down and in the dark I get on my Hands and knees and I just scrub the floor as best as I can in the dark and then I get another towel and I try to dry it all up and get it as clean as I can as quietly as I can and then I realize I have to change my clothes so I go into the bathroom and I shut the door so I can take my jammies off and get the sticky stuff off my arms and legs or wherever that it not my legs but my arms and like wherever it hit me and then go put new jammies on and then go to bed. So it's like I'm like 20 minutes in to getting up to take a piss at this point of trying

not to wake them up. Monday night, the next night, I'm playing a war zone with the truck boys. About two o'clock, I come to bed, I get into bed, put my head on the pillow and realize I have to take a piss. And it's like one of those ones where it's like, could you, I could probably sleep till six or seven AM and be fine, but I'd rather just, I'd rather sleep well, right, and just get it out of the way.

So I get back up, I go into the bathroom, I take my piss, I come back to my desk, or to get back into my bed, and next to me I see a Gerpler full of Italian limeade soda that I bought myself from Central Market, or Whole Foods the other day as a treat. I was like, I deserve something special, something better than Diet Pepsi.

So I bought this Italian soda that's like limeade, right? It's the stickiest, sugary, sweetest thing ever. I had brought it upstairs with me at like 11 o'clock at night because I knew I was gonna be playing with the truck boys all night long and you get thirsty and the last thing you wanna do is go all the way back downstairs to your kitchen to get a drink and come back up. But once again, I had set it on the nightstand

and forgotten about it and it sat there the whole time I played trucks. So I go, oh, I'll just have a sip of this. And I go to pick it up and I do and everything's fine and I take a sip and I set it back down, but I guess I set it on my glasses, my reading glasses, and so it falls, but it falls the other way towards the wall. Oh no!

And this thing is, it's a Gerpler, God damn it, it's full. And so, also it rolls down, hits the ground, it goes, g'dunk, g'dunk, g'dunk, g'dunk, g'dunk, g'dunk, and rolls making this large plastic bounce noise, it goes, it goes, g-dunk, g-dunk, g-dunk, g-dunk, g-dunk, g-dunk, and rolls making this large plastic bounce noise as it goes around. The sticky juice hits. Well, first off, what happens is I'm frozen. This is my deja vu nightmare.

I look at it and I think this has already happened. This is no big deal. This has already happened. This happened last night. That's why I don't do anything because I'm like not fully there. And I just watch it kind of before I can, maybe three or four seconds before I realize,

oh no, this is happening again right now. This just happened yesterday, it's happening again. How is this happening to me again? I don't understand it, right? So you thought you might've been having a flashback at first. Yeah, I just like, you ever have that where you're not fully there and you just freeze in the moment.

This doesn't make sense. Like I'm not understanding what's going on in the world right now. Like I'm existing in, I'm like unstuck in time, like in fucking mix like I'm not understanding what's going on in the world right now like I'm existing in I'm like unstuck in time like in fucking Like in that book. I love the idea of it being like in slow motion Bouncing all around slush and liquid and you're just you're just like this can't be right. It's coming Yeah, this isn't

Stuck like in slaughterhouse. Yeah, and you're like, nah, this didn't this I don't have to deal with this right now Cuz this already happened yesterday, right? And then I realized it and I go, oh God. And I look over and the dog and the wife are still asleep and it is so much more liquid. And so my first thought is to go down to my knees to see how bad it is. So I just dropped to my knees into a puddle of liquid. So now my new jammies are soaked at the knees,

just like completely and totally soaked, right? So I'm like, oh you fucking double moron. Like you're extra stupid. So I get up and I go into the bathroom and I take my fucking jammies off again and then I get more towels and then I start to scrub and and I start to clean it and this is somehow so much worse than the Monster Energy drink, this this Italian soda and it's just like there's so much more of it and it's everywhere. And as I'm going through it in the dark, I realize it gets on. I wrote it all down to make sure I don't forget.

It gets on my lamp, my laptop, my reading glasses, my phone charging station, my watch, my phone itself, the book I'm reading, all just covered in it. Right. I also don't notice till the next day that even though it fell backwards, some of the water went forward as well, obviously. And the bottom drawer was slightly open on my nightstand. So I had a heating pad that just got covered in in soda somehow. So that was all sticky and ruined. I didn't find that out so much later.

And so I'm on the ground under under my nightstand and my bed, like laying down to get, because I can't get under the bed well enough, you know, on my knees, like literally laying on the ground naked, just rubbing the ground with a wet and a dry towel for maybe 25 minutes this time. The whole time, doing it in the dark, so I don't want to wake up Emily and the dog,

put on new jammies, go to bed. The next night I go, I'm not bringing anything with me It's never gonna happen again, right? No, so I don't this and then everything's fine last night. No Come on. Yes Last night. This is anti-climactic last night We we went to the Bill Simmons podcast live in Austin at the Paramount Theater. And so I didn't get a chance to eat dinner before I went. We didn't get home till about 11 o'clock.

I swing by McDonald's on the way home, grab just some McDonald's for us. We eat dinner and then we go upstairs to go to bed. I have a giant diet Coke, like a large diet Coke with the top off, because I've been chopping on ice. And I set it on my nightstand. And then I look at it and I go. Nope. Nope. Nope not doing that So I pick it up and I put it in the kit in the bathroom next to the sink and then I go about my

Business and then later like an hour later, I or maybe a half hour later I go back into the bedroom and it's on the nightstand again And I realized at some point I picked it up and put it back on the nice end I went nope not you not chicken yourself that that this time dumbass So I'd make an effort to go and put it back in the bathroom. Right. Then I decided not to play trucks with the truck boy or called it with the truck boys last night and just to go to bed early. So I go to bed at like it's like eleven thirty by the time we go to bed, you know, and maybe midnight. And about two a.m.

I have to pee. So I get up in the middle of night and I go to the bathroom and I pee and I'm coming back to the bathroom and I see the Diet Coke on the counter and I go hehehehe I'm safe and I go to pick it up to have a victory sip because I'm so smart as not on my nightstand and I just punch it. I just punch it as hard as I can. I don't even know how. And it just goes straight into the sink. It just goes straight into the fucking sink. There's no mess but I pour an entire Diet Coke

and all, there's still some ice in it, not a lot, into the sink and I just lose the entire thing and I just can't believe it and so I go to bed. But I don't know what to do now. I'm scared to go to bed tonight. Cause it's three out of the last four nights I've spilled major amounts of liquid in the process of getting up to go to the bathroom.

I'm terrified. I don't know how I've, I'm stuck in this cycle. I don't know how to get out of it. I was conscious of it last night when I literally I'm looking at my hand and I'm like I'm gonna have this this Diet Coke is gonna taste so fucking sweet at 2 15 in the morning because I'm not gonna be cleaning it up three minutes from now and then I still manage to just fucking karate chop it. I don't know what's wrong with me. Were you getting flashbacks to Purple Nightmare while you were cleaning up?

Didn't think about it at all. I wasn't thinking about anything other than misery. When you're on the ground at three in the morning, rolling around in dog hair and fucking dust bunnies under your bed and you're just trying to clean up sticky liquid. You're not thinking about Purple Nightmare. I didn't have that, but I didn't have that many mental faculties going.

Why did you just bring water to bed? It's still, I mean, he'd still spill. It's easier to clean. It does matter, dude. It matters if it gets into the walls, if it gets into the door, like it seeps under the floor. Like it still matters.

It still gets into the electric equipment. You need a sippy cup lid for your gurgler. I was actually thinking this is the perfect opportunity to invent something. Gurgler silences. Like imagine a little rubber gasket. Yep, yep, yep. One that is the perfect dimensions to push into the bottom of the gurgler and then a rubber o-ring around the rim with just like a little mouth sized cut out and that way if you drop the Gerpler, completely quiet. What you're saying, what you're describing is a Gerplid.

We need to invent a Gerplid. But also one for the bottom. I would love a Gerplid because I have a problem with my desk where I have wires everywhere just crossing and whatnot. And I will fill up my GERPLER at the middle of the night and then try to put on my desk and not be able to see because I'm in the dark. But just know it's wire, wire, wire, and being so scared of dumping that full giant cup of liquid all over all of my tech stuff.

What's in your night, GERPLER? What do you mean? Well, it's just water. OK. Yeah. I'm just like, I'll fill it up in the bathroom, go to sit down at my desk, and then I won't be able to see very well. And is the thing of like, I got to really feel out where this cup is. I do not trust it. But a girl played that would change.

That is a game changer. So you get water from your bathroom tap. Yeah. Why don't you just drink out of the tap? Well, what? Well, do you come back and like finish a whole gulp of water? Yeah, absolutely. How do you get up in the night to piss? I piss all the time at night.

Oh, you just don't care. I just I need drink. I like I like drinking. I like drink. I like having like something to sip on on whether it's water mainly water. I'm a drinks guy big drinks guy For the record, I'm not opposed to water at night. It just wasn't no I wasn't planning on most of those It's just what happened to be around me in the moment You know, I just don't think I I don't think you should be allowed to have drinks at night anymore Jeff Like I think you might be done. I think this just might be a dude

I mean I the only night that I had peace was the night that I banned myself from taking a drink upstairs So you might be right. I just I don't want to be of an age where I can't trust myself to pick up and drink of Liquid past a certain time. Yeah, you might it's hey man. You might be there now past a certain time. Yeah. You might, hey man, you might be there now. This might be it. You're, everything you're describing, this might be a right now thing, dude.

I think you need to put yourself in training. I think you need to work up to this. You know how to relearn how to drink properly in the dark? You are coming at me with some aggression. It's better than what you're doing now. Yeah, that's exactly, I'm not, I don't want this for you, but based on what you've described I think what you need to do is start by drinking in the shower at night. Yeah, I agree I think you have to go in the shower. Yeah, it's on you. You could just shower off. You'll be fine

It's already in the bathroom. Yeah, you have to keep all your drinks in the shower. I think you start with the shower. I just think you need a nice long straw. Big heavy cup and a long straw that goes to your mouth while you sleep. He's gonna miss. It's not, no way. I gotta be honest here, Gav, I think I'm, I think I like their idea more. Maybe I should only be able to drink in the shower because then there's like an intention behind it. It'll, like, cause you're like half asleep, right? But if I'm if I'm I have enough mental faculties to realize that I need to go into the special drink room

I'll be alert enough to probably drink fine in the drink room. And if I'm not you're right I can clean it up in that room right there immediately and it's further away from Emily and the dog and even if I spill it it'll be loud as all hell if I drop a Cup in that shower on that pile., at least the cleanup will be faster Yeah, exactly you can let the dog in the shower with you while you drink if that helps you no he needs to be asleep So Andrew somebody drinks your bathroom water do you ever drink the shower? What no? Okay, no and sometimes I mean water gets in the mouth

But no. OK. Oh, sometimes I mean, water gets in the mouth. Yeah. Whatever happens, happens. But I'm not like mouth open. I got to refresh in the shower. Why not? Uh, that's a hot water. It's not refreshing. Yeah, you got hot water.

I'm not a hot water guy. There are a few layers as to why I wouldn't. But if water ends up in my mouth and I mean I feel like I for the most part spit it out, but I'm sure I've accidentally swallowed some. But you wouldn't ever just be like, okay, I'm done with the shower. Let me turn this to cold and just have a drink. No, because this is not really a convenient way to do it. It's like a shotgun blast to your face of water. Like I don't, it's the spread. It would go everywhere. And then I'd have to redry my, like it don't. It's a spread.

It would go everywhere. And then I'd have to redry my like, it's just a lot everywhere. You already soaking wet, though. OK, I'm still wet. And I've just decided I just had the shower. OK, instead of turning off the shower, you turn off the hot. It's cold now. Have a little drink. I think the problem is I don't want any other part of my body to be as cold as the inside of my mouth when drinking

like your lips and cheeks and stuff. Yeah, my face, I'm going to blast myself with cold water. Like even if I get 80%, that 20% is really not enjoyable. It's not the most efficient way to do it either. No. What if you had a shower funnel? You turn it to cold, you look up, it's all going in the funnel and that funnels into your mouth. That's a good idea. I mean, what you're describing would work, but you're like creating a device that I didn't ask for.

You're never thirsty in the shower. No. OK. I don't think I've ever been. That's a you know, that's deep, Gavin. I don't think I've ever been thirsty in the shower. I don't think I've ever even considered being thirsty in the shower. I've been thirsty in the tub plenty of times. Really? That's a nightmare

Well, you got cold tap right there. Yeah, but it's it's all the way on the other side of the I'd have to It's a lot of work. Do you think it do you think if I only drink my nighttime drinks in the shower? For spillage reasons that I will become conditioned to be thirsty in the shower or get there interesting That's that I don't know. I don't think you'll do it long enough I think like you need to trust yourself after like three consecutive successful shower drinks To then move into the bathroom that seems pretty low given my track record But I appreciate your but you have a lifetime of not doing it so I feel like

Yeah, comparing on But you have a lifetime of not doing it. So I feel like Yeah comparing On an average, I guess that's true. I have a bit of a recency bias though. You do it's bad what I the part of this story that I really enjoy that we haven't gone over yet is It from Emily's perspective because I'm sure all of this happened. And then the next day you're like, you are not going to believe what happened last night. I spilled. It was a disaster. I had to clean it up. I was trying to make sure you didn't wake up. It was a whole thing to do that multiple nights in a row to Emily.

I would love love to have seen her face to learn that this happened consecutive times. Here's how that conversation went The first time I did it I said that to her and she said oh I heard and the second time I did it I did it the second time I did it. I didn't mention it to her at all And she said same problem again last night, huh? And then the third last night last night with the whole punch in the soda into the bathroom I don't think she had any idea. She was that was probably family rules funny

More drinking problems on dipshit What if we cut a drink holder into a nightstand? That's not a bad idea. Now we're talking. Gavin, you're back on top. I like that idea. I like the GERP lid. Maybe we can- I really like the GERP lid. Instead of cutting a hole into my nightstand, maybe it's like a clip-on cup holder. I don't trust that. I don't trust that for you, honestly, but we can- you know, you keep spitballing. I'm just- I'm worried about you. Just throw that out. No, I understand. I understand. Oh, have you seen one of those really heavy mugs? Yeah, we should get you a near unmovable mug Yeah, and that way there's no way you can knock it over you'll sort of like a

Mug me older if you yeah, I have found a 22 pound mug. Yeah, let's get him a milk. Nah, I Would consider that that's an interesting idea too. Well the prop but here's the issue though is he's bringing liquids there, right? Like you'd have to fill this thing with the intent of drinking it there and that hasn't been the case with these spills That's true. That's true. I'll just have to be a little more intentional about how I do this But I think that so much of what he's doing is knocking over This thing that if we got him a very mug near again He's way less likely to knock it over Totally absolutely agree with that my point was just that he keeps accidentally leaving liquid in these places.

For him to use this, he'd have to intentionally put liquid in that spot. So he'd have to just change his thinking. I have to show you guys this. Please. You know who the real loser in this whole thing is that I just feel so bad for and bad about? Is it you?

No, it's not me. I mean, I'm always gonna be the loser in my story, right? I'm the lose taggingist of all my my stories. But it's Emily. I've clearly. Yeah, I've clearly begun my decline. I'm obviously on the back nine whether I want to be or not. And she's stuck with it. You know, like she got like one or two good years with me when we met.

And then it's just a fucking steady race downhill. So I found heavy mug, the world's heaviest mug. It's one hundred and fifty five dollars. We saved sixty five dollars. The image that they show is so funny. The first image. OK, cool. Backlit. Neat. It says heavy with an asterisk. It also kind of a regulation logo or not quite. It's more of a red hot chili peppers thing, but

it's fine. The other one. It's on a motorcycle. Cool. The third picture, the one that I sent you guys, it's filled with bullets. Yeah. You guys put bullets. Is that a US thing? It's Texas thing. Everybody has a bullet mug. I've never thought about it, but yeah. And also, oh my god, dude, 22 pounds. Dude, Jeff, we gotta get this heavy, heavy mug for you. Yeah. If you guys buy me that mug, I'll try to use it.

Jeff's in his Yosemite Sam era. He's filling it with ammo. It's pretty cool. If you knock this one over, you'll break your toes. Is it bulletproof? Is there anything that's like it's bulletproof. I don't know there's a little video there where a guy Puts it through a glass table because it's so heavy and then there's also another one where they're Cheersing one with a glass glass mug and one with the heavy mug and the heavy mug explodes the glass mug What's your nightstand made of Jeff would?

Okay, then we're all right. All right. It's a pretty solid nightstand. I think I'm okay, dude Can I tell you got something concerning? I just looked down at my table and there was a little bit of blood on it And I don't know where that blood came from what that's mystery blood All right, where's the blood coming from I don don't know, but no I mean like touch yourself and see From your leg your leg wait, what do you talk? Wait? Where is the blood? It's on it's next to my keyboard Here, I'm gonna be from his leg. I thought this is I thought he's looking at his nightstand

He's in his nightstand in the middle of a podcast? He's in his he's in the office. Do you know what? Yeah, but I recorded my bedroom, so I just put everybody in my mind. We're on our bedrooms right now. So really, the mind table is the bedroom. That is a lot of blood. That's a concern. OK, Jeff, it's not just a concerning amount of blood. It's also that it's smeared around everywhere

Yeah, hold on. I'm wiping it off. Yeah, I don't know where that came from. Is it are your hands bleeding? I'm looking I cut my elbow like two weeks ago, but With a knife in the middle of that's not it. That's yeah, that was a long time ago It's not my elbow cut. Are you knife juggling right now? I don't even have a knife in front. Hmm. Okay. I don't like in front of me. Yeah, I don't know I don't know where that came from. You know, I bet you if you had a big mug of bullets on your desk that bleeding would have happened Whatever happened would be scared to mess with you. That's true It's a big old mug

You are you're a bleeder. I It's a big old money You are you're a bleeder I? Am a bleeder. Thanks. Yeah, I have I over index on blood yeah, you're probably the bloodiest friend I have I'm ready to pop at all times I wish it was easier to test blood. What do you mean like? That's joke of the day right there I thought that was a go a topical man topical. Thank you. Thank you. Oh She the blood lady. Yeah, she's she's in prison though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she's the blood lady

What do you want to test blood for Andrew? I just I when you come across blood sometimes It's like I wonder where that came from. I wonder if it's even mine. Whose blood is this? How often are you finding random blood that could not often? But whenever I do, I go, huh, where did that come from? And like Jeff saying, it's not like he doesn't seem to know if it's his, it'd be it'd just be cool to be able to test it and go,

oh, this is my blood. I mean, it's got to be mine because I'm the only one that sits at this desk. That's what I was going to say. Ever in this room. You would assume so. But you would know definitively if you could test it. It's true. I feel like blood that I've been surprised by. I always know is mine. I mean, it wasn't blood there when I sat down today. See?

You assume it's yours because that's the rational thing to assume. But what if it's not? Whose blood could it be? I don't know. I feel like whenever I found blood, I it's guaranteed my. It would be weird if you were like had some sort of a blood leaving fetish where you would just like break into homes and then just like bleed a little bit and then leave the DNA band. I don't like that. Yeah. I don't like it either. They'd catch you so fast.

You say the DNA bandit, but you're leaving your blood behind, which bandits, it's the opposite, right? They steal typically? Yeah. I feel like the DNA bandit might take blood from people, but then that's a vampire and he's getting into murky territory here. Yeah, but the wet bandits used to flood the house they robbed. What does that have to do with what you're saying?

No, no, you're right. They left behind the wet. Yeah. And if this continues the argument, I'm on Gavin's side. Was that really a plot point of that, that they would flood the house, the Wet Bandits? Yes. That was like their whole name. It was their whole point.

That was their thing, right? It's not even the Wet Bandits. I just, I don't remember that. Why were they called the Wet Bandits? wet bandits. I just I don't remember that Why were they called the wet bandits? No idea? It was a major subplot of the film I mainly watched Home Alone when I was like six or five I don't know didn't stick that was not a detail that was important to me. I guess mmm mmm terrified of That was not a detail that was important to me, I guess. Mm hmm. Terrified of mobster stuff. When was the last time you saw Home Alone in its entirety?

Probably like 20 plus years ago. Oh, you got to watch your Christmas, son. Dude, I see that movie three times a year, probably still to this day. I would love to watch it with you. Lips of it a lot. Yeah, it'd be a lot of fun to watch. Great group watch. But it's one of those things where I get clips every once in a while. I'll go, I want to see some home alone and I'll watch some stuff

and that'll kind of fill the need. I haven't like sat down and done a full watch. Maybe this summer we could have Christmas in July and we could sit down and watch Home Alone together. I love that. The hottest day of the year. We we could release the GTA snowman videos we made in December and then do a home alone watch long Can we hold the GTA snowman videos till July and have Christmas in July?

I would love to watch along and do some other Christmas really forcing the whole audience to be Australian Not bad, it's not bad I like Eric was was not on board and you just got him on, Gavin. That was good. Well, because we keep getting hit for it, but shit, man, we just put out a video. We just put out GTA Deadline and somebody's like, I think this was recorded in June. And it's like, all right. I mean, we can hold on to Christmas videos until July if that's the case. So let's do it.

People complaining about things being not timely. We're serving them timely in March. Things are getting crazy. The most timely videos. We're serving them timely in March. Mario Party March. Mario. Oh, I sorry. I just did. I thought you were talking about right.

I didn't understand. Sorry, Andrew. I thought that was an excellent segue. 30 days of consecutive Mario Party And we're releasing it essentially as we film it Couldn't be more time could not could not be more difficult to do. Yes. It's gonna be it's so So we learned just to explain the idea fully that you can exit a game of Mario Party save and then come back to that And I pitched the idea of doing one turn at a time of the longest amount, the most amount of turns you can have in a game, which is 30.

So for 30 consecutive days, we are all going to group up in the morning, play one turn of Mario Party, then save and quit and have to wait until the next day to continue the game. And we will be posting these daily as we do it one day after yeah, yeah, yeah, so this will be on patreon so check the patreon subscribe This is where you'll be able to watch it, and it's this is I Still this is still insane like this is still crazy. We'll also put out the full video at the end. Yes So is it free on patreon or is it for members only on patreon? Yeah, I don't know. We never talked about that.

I think it could be free. The only reason we don't want to put on YouTube is that it might murder the channel. It's going to absolutely murder the channel, like putting up a 36 hour compilation of content. Also, we just had so much fun doing the advent calendar and we wanted to kind of have that kind of fun again in some daily way. And so I think this really scratches that itch. So it'll be free on the Patreon as long as you remember, which which there's a free membership. So just sign up for free. You can give all of your personal information to Patreon for us every day with us.

And if you don't want to do that at the end of all the days, we'll release the full video of all the days put together on our YouTube gaming channel. I cannot wait. I am. It's going to be hell. There's going to be so much rage. It's such an interesting game to do like that as well, because they'll be potentially like when the Jamboree buddy comes down on the map and then we play a minigame to see who gets him and it'll be such celebration and potentially the next day someone could just run past you and take him.

Yes. Thinking about the game we just played, I had a plan laid out. I had all the pieces on turn six and by turn 12, the game and you guys had fucked me out of my plan. So just imagining me being so excited one night, being like, oh, I've got everything lined up. And then each day for a consecutive week, just a phase of my plan getting destroyed with me not being able to do anything about it. Oh, it's going to be good. It's going to be a lot of built up.

It's interesting that we're going to have to set an alarm every day, even across all the weekends for a whole month. I'm so excited for this. And we've been Gavin, you and I specifically have been doing this kind of content together for closing on two decades now, right? Like a very long time together. And I get so genuinely giddy and jazzed any time there's an opportunity to do something we've never done before

or film something in a way we've never done it before. And it's really rare that you get those opportunities because, you know, opportunity to do something we've never done before or film something in a way we've never done it before. And it's really rare that you get those opportunities because, you know, we've reinvented the wheel sixteen thousand times at this point. But we've never done anything like this before. And I'm so excited to see how it goes. And I think it's going to be miserable in all the right ways. And I just can't wait to see.

It is a terrifying thing to take on from a production standpoint, but it is one of those things where once we get on the other side of it, I think learning from this process will open up a lot of possible fun avenues for different content ideas going forward. I mean, like the idea came from Andrew doing the advent calendar, which was really great because he did a really great job kind of producing that, putting it all together or whatever. And then we got like, Oh my gosh, this was so exciting because we put out something every day. Andrew pre-recorded those with us. We batch recorded those in like a few days. We can't do that with this. We have

to just get together every day and do this. I, uh, there's so much like room for error and Disaster this is like it's not good. This is not good. It's a error and disaster Is it does anybody currently have any plans to go out of town in March? I was well, not anymore not anymore Yeah, okay All right, I didn't either I didn't either Huh, I didn't either It's possible It's possible that might have changed slightly you could do it you see to bring a switch and bring What if I'm home?

What if I'm home by 11 30 the next morning and we can record just a few hours late at noon? I'm I'm curious about what you mean by that because I'm pretty sure I'm looking at our calendar. It says 9 a.m. Every day I know, but what if I had to push it back for a couple of hours just because I'm a dad and I got to Be a dad Quickly it's not gonna fall apart. We're gonna hold it together, but we are gonna have to deal with these little roadblocks I am the one that has sacrificed the time. I don't want to hear this from you guys.

Yeah, I dressed to wake up even earlier. 7 a.m. to make content, which is like I know like in the grand scheme of work, like that is so fortunate. Like I've had actual really tough jobs, like I know incredibly blessed. But like I am not a morning person. So like having to try to be on at 7 a.m. each day is going to be a little bit of a process. You're a morning person if it's if it's like 4 a.m.

though, like you're that kind of morning. You do most of your work. You do most of your emailing and slacking at like 515. And I know I'm an evening person or I'm a per like I sent you guys all something today, except Jeff, because you're just you're not going to be available for it. And I did that because I had a terrible sleep and I woke up, sent that and then went back to bed. Is it because you had to piss a gallon of water? No, it wasn't.

Is it because you had to clean up a gallon of water that somehow found its way to the ground? Yeah, yeah, that's that study. You got a crystal ball. I have a question about your pillow situation while we talk about you sleeping. Yeah. You see, you've got a lot of pillows because. I mean, the way I see it, it's kind of like a they slip down the back of the bed, right? And then you just need more pillows because they keep going down. I'm experimenting a little bit and being and being a no pillow guy.

Jesus Christ. What? How do you go from eight pillows to no pillows? You're going to snap your neck in half. This is so covid really screwed me up from like my sleep patterns. I need to sleep upright now, or at least I was so like I spent so long having to do that. It feels unnatural not to do that now. So I've been experimenting with just using the wall as my pillow and sleeping that way. I.

I need to buy a ticket to Vancouver. I got us. I got to watch you sleep. That's all right. Can can we buy you a headboard? That would be really nice. Install it like if you'll let me come up, you'll let Gavin and I come up. Yeah, you can get pillowed headboards. We'll buy a headboard in the NYMO and we'll come set it up for you. I have so last December I bought a new bed frame that has a headboard

that's part of it, but it's too heavy to carry up all the stairs. So it's still there. So I've had this. Wait, how long has it been there? Last December, not the sorry, not the previous December we had. The December before. Twenty twenty three. Twenty twenty. Yeah. You just need somebody to help you move a headboard for.

Call me, dude. It's really heavy. I'm a dude. I have so much time in March to travel now. How did the bed get up there? Yeah, that you know what? Here's the the bet like getting the bed up there was kind of like, oh, that's that's all we had. That's all we got. What? And I guess we had it.

You. Yeah, I'm still recovering from getting the bed up. It was heavy. It's a big bad. Twenty twenty three. Yeah, it's listen, we're still we're trying to get the confidence together, the morale to get the bed frame. Get it, get it together. Get your bed. Get your freaking headboard up there. I'm getting it up. I have to.

We want to get into the specifics of this. We we have some stuff we need to move around. And I also still have like four broken chairs that are just taking up space from out the ears. So we're going to have somebody come in to take those away because those have to go to the dump, which is a different process. What they want the balcony there. I think I might have one on the balcony.

What was the broken thing on the balcony? I have two broken chairs in the bedroom right now. One of them is the half chair, which I turned into like a table of sorts. And then my Herman Miller is it I have a walk in closet and it's in there. What do you keep all this junk for you? No, because it's tough to get rid of the chairs. I actively want to get rid of it. It's just they're heavy, they're bulky and they have to go to a specific place.

Well, for a start, the Herman Miller, you can almost certainly get swapped under warranty. That is what I. Yeah. So that has been the one where it's like, I need to keep this because I need to figure out the warranty. Or I was looking into replacing the seat myself. I think I could do that. But the other chairs are like just completely broken. So I need to get rid of those, create a lot more space.

I love the way you have to work up to just regular tasks. If you'll if you'll let Gavin and I or some some contingent of regulation come up and spend three days with you. We can revolutionize your life. We can make things so much easier and simpler for you. First of all, always welcome to come up. Second of all, I'm in the process of that right now. Very excited. OK, OK.

I look forward to hearing more about that in the coming episodes. Oh, it is going to be soon. Next few weeks. Where is it downstairs? It's as soon as you that in the coming episodes. Oh, it is going to be soon. Next few weeks. Where is it downstairs? It's as soon as you walk in the front door. It's just in the entryway. Are you not sick of looking at it? No. Just a box of a box. OK, we're definitely there for over a year.

I don't see it often. We can't come in March and I've got something in the late April. It's going to be set up before the end before March. If that headboard, I'm going to tell you right now, Andrew, as your was going to get set up as one of your best friends on Earth. I tell you this with peace and love. If that headboard is in your hallway on your first floor by the third week of April, you will not be able to stop me from coming up and installing it for you.

That's just not going to happen. I don't mind taking care of before then it will be handled by me. The problem here is my only concern is when I bought it, I ordered it off of Amazon and I saw some of the reviews said that they were missing parts from it. So I'm a little concerned about that. That's the only hurdle I have.

There's I assume there's a hardware store in Canada. You've been concerned about it since twenty twenty three. It's been a thought since twenty three. It's going to be hard to return it if it's missing parts. And when you open it and find out when you can still return it, then I get parts everywhere. Well, not all of them. I got like this one time, Andrew, when we were back in my old house

and in my previous life, right. We were redoing the living room for some reason, and we bought a sofa and it came shrink wrapped together and we couldn't unshrink, wrap it and put it together because the house was all in a jumble. Right. So it ended up just kind of sitting there and became part of a project that took months and months to to finish. And it just kept getting pushed from room to room. And at some point, we finally unwrapped on like opened up the sofa

and it was cracked in half and it was too late to return it. Oh, no. Because we passed the window to return it. And I just bought a $1800 sofa that was broken. I had to throw away. So I open and check for the parts sooner than later. I guess would be my. Yeah. And if it was a large investment, I definitely would be more on top of it.

I got it pretty cheap. So not as much for concern. Is it soft? Is what soft the headboard? I have no idea. I don't even remember what it looks like, to be honest. Well, why were you talking about that? We were talking about getting you like a pillowed one. Yeah. So you could sleep up bright. Yeah, like mine.

Oh, I guess I brought it up because that was the solution to the problem I had. And I've had it. I just haven't been able to implement it. How would that be the solution? Because one of my issues is that the bed moves from the wall. And so by having a headboard, the wall comes with me. Can I make a new prediction for 2025? Of course. Andrew breaks his headboard. No, that's pretty good. I make a new prediction for 2025? Of course. Andrew breaks his headboard.

No, that's pretty good. That's a good prediction. Oh, no. If you constantly are pushing your bed away from the wall, you're going to snap that headboard off. I guess it's possible, but. Now, that's it. That's it. That's a not to derail us here, but that's a interesting idea

Should we have a midseason check-in like in around June or July or August? We see how our predictions are going and then maybe everybody's Everybody gets to make one more prediction. Oh, that's yeah, I like that like a mid-year prediction What if it was like a ten second long thing and I just said y'all still married and then we do long thing and I just said, y'all still married? And then we just moved on. So is it that you can't fall asleep lying down or you actually have to sleep upright? It's just something where like when I, I had to sleep upright because I got so sick and I couldn't breathe otherwise. Yeah. And now just nothing else feels natural. So I just have to sit up.

Cause I wonder if you could start sleeping, set up and then we could get a bed that just lowers you down after you fall in a sleep. That naturally kind of happens. And then I end up just slumped down. I end up, yeah, sliding down naturally. How do you try and fall asleep? Bolt upright though. I closed my eyes. What's relaxing about that enough to drop off? I don't know.

I had like it doesn't bother me. I just sit up right. That's that's really impressive. Oh, holy shit. You just got I just got news. San Antonio Spurs announced Victor Wimben Yamma will miss the rest of the season with a blood clot. Dude, did you?

That's what, wait. I was going to sign off with this and say, hey Nick, check this out. And then send this picture. No! Dude. Yep. Hey, Spurs tickets should be pretty cheap.

Blood clots are fucking career-enders. Like no joke, that ended Chris Bosh's career. Yep. And that's not a thing you fuck around with. It's in his shoulder. God, that sucks. That's not, that's not a thing you fuck around with. It's in his shoulder. God, that sucks. That sucks for Nick. What's scary is that really super athletic people get blood clots in this. Yeah. Yeah. That sucks for Wemby. I, uh, I know we're getting a little bit long. I have a clip I really want to play. I have something very exciting

during this. This is an old clip. We've been talking about history. I think there are probably people that listen to the show that weren't even around for this era. But you may remember way back in the past, we once had a pencil trial on the show that went very well. Everybody loved it. And we had. The whole thing between it was myself against Jeff and Gavin over whether I needed to eat this pencil or not. I had a whole thing between it was myself against Jeff and Gavin

over whether I needed to eat this pencil or not. And Eric found a website that called Hired Judge, which I became a judge on and people could give rulings. So first I'm going to I'm going to play this clip related to that. And then you'll find out why. Hello, this is Shaheen Devari. I'm from to play this clip related to that and then you'll find out why. Hello, this is Shaheen D'Avare. I'm from Hired Judge. I also was an attorney for three years and went to law school. And so I'd like to start by saying at the very top that it is patently obvious to anybody who both listens to the podcast and understands the scenario that Andrew should, in fact, have to eat a pencil.

First, he made the agreement and made the bet. And I want to say that up top because there was some type of backtracking that Andrew was trying to pretend that truth is in truth and it wasn't really him. But truth is truth, my friend. It was clearly your voice and it was recorded and that evidence definitely weighed heavily on the decision here today. Second the crackpot legal defense team did not do their job enough to get paid so I really hope that you did not pay these people. Saying that you didn't properly define a term in the contract Isn't necessary in oral agreement contract and it's not a necessary in it in contracts

what's necessary in a contract is an understanding between the parties as to What the pencil is you both understood what you meant by pencil. No lead, you don't want any lead. You don't want someone to get poisoned. Graphite pencils are perfectly harmless to eat in very small amounts, meaning one pencil. And so buck up and eat the fucking pencil. Remember, well. This is in favor, and now, okay,

so you're reminding us that you welched on the bet again. You're bringing this all to the forefront again. So I'm being defensible. I'm so excited for whatever turn this is about to take. That is an aside. You're crazy. No, no, no, no. You're going to understand in a minute. This is crazy.

Shane Devary, honorable man. He is competing on Survivor this season. What? What? No way! Shane Devary, the guy that was a judge. Unbelievable! competing on Survivor this season. What a contested chain, the barry, the guy that was a judge in my pencil ruling is a cast member on this upcoming season of Survivor that starts next week.

What did you see the cast list and be like, I recognize that name. Somebody on I don't remember where and I tried to find them brought up that this was a thing and I went, there's no fucking way that that's true. And then I confirmed it and I could not find whoever's comment it was. Thank you so much. Whoever commented and made this connection. I went back and I listened and I looked into this same guy. The pencil judge is on Survivor this season. And I am shame he didn't put that as his occupation.

Yeah, he is. Judge. I haven't watched the last two seasons. Survivor, I couldn't be more into this season of Survivor. I got to see how I feel like we're team Shaheen. You've missed out, dude. This last season of Survivor was one of the best. It was so good. I don't watch Survivor.

I might have to watch Survivor. I think in the show we're going to be locked in on this. I think we got to. Yeah. We should do a little watch parties and cheer for him and I'll stop watching it as soon as he gets voted off. Yeah. Yeah.

Hell yeah. I'll do all of that but continue watching it. I cannot wait. This is so Andrew. This is crazy. Insane. If he wins. Oh my God.

I can't imagine. Imagine if he's like a Russell Hans like villain. I'm like, oh, there's so many. I have no idea. We're going to find out. I cannot wait. And I wish him the best of luck. We have one degree of separation from Survivor.

Yeah, it's not like he's on some dogshit show that none of us have heard of. He's on Survivor, which you talk about all the time. One of my favorite shows growing up and I've only recently sort of fallen off of, but I'm back on. Fully invested. Let me ask you this, and then we can start wrapping up here

in just a minute. He's going to be on this, but he ruled against you, Andrew. He said that you need to eat the pencil. Do you think that that's going to sort of shade the way that you see him as he makes decisions throughout the season? Such a great question, Eric. And that was as immediately confronted with, do I want him to win or should I be actively cheering against him? And it ultimately came to that he was always in the right on the ruling. The ruling was the right call. It would be insane for me to be against him because he was right.

I was being a shit in that scenario. And I feel like just further being a shit is not the answer. So I'm fully on his team. Wow. Sheeran Pershing. I can't wait. I cannot wait to watch the season. We got a regulation contestant. Yep. Dude, we're DeVari heads. I love this. I think if he wins, you got to eat the pencil.

Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I'm glad that you guys have a consensus. That's awesome. That's great. I did. You know, one of us did predict it would happen in 2025 in the Nostradamus draft. So, yeah, very interesting. Suck down some of that plumb bum. I just had to share that. I'm so excited and.

Oh, that's phenomenal. That is unbelievable. What a crazy coincidence. Also, please do me a favor and watch the last season of Survivor injury. I will get there. Yes, I promise. The one before I don't care about this last one. I'll get there. Yes, I promise. The one before I don't care about, but this last one. I'll watch it. Oh, should we? Should we fuck off? Sure. Wrap up because you have to go.

You have to get on a flight or something. I do. I'm leaving here to go to the airport. He's trying to get all of his travel in before March hits. One tiny trip, one tiny trip in March that I immediately booked after I agreed not to go on any trips in March. You know when you told us about this trip and you were like, obviously I've mentioned this months ago, but it's coming up and I just want to remind everyone that I'm out

of town on Thursday. That was the first time you told us, right? No, I don't think so. I think I put it in the in the slack the second happened. Here's what we're going to have to do. Unfortunately, we're going to have to pay for Slack to see if Jeff let us know or not. And either way I win, either we pay for Slack and I'm wrong and I get a paid for Slack,

or we pay for Slack and I'm right and I get a paid for Slack. What are you gonna do with a paid for Slack? I don't know, argue better? Are you gonna scroll back in that way? You think you let us know before December? Help Nick find that file he's looking for? Yeah, thank you.

So wait, if you have to scroll that far back in Slack, you let us know like three months ago? I would assume so, yeah. It's been planned for a very long time. Okay. All right, we'll have to, we'll take a look. We got to get paid for Slack and then we'll do it. Can you host your own Slack server or do you have to pay him?

I don't know how it works. I think you probably have to pay him, I assume. I don it works. I think you probably have to pay him I assume I I don't know Assholes it all exists on their server. They just have locked it away from us. Yes. Yeah, I believe that's how it works. Mm-hmm Yep, if you have a better solution, I'd love it, but that's what we're locked in with right now I'll find out next time potentially. Yeah, we pay for the slack. Did we not? Tune in next week. Do we have Nitro? I do.

Yeah. Why do I have it? Yeah, where's mine? I pay for it personally. Yeah, I don't care if you have Nitro. I don't give a shit. Can I have Nitro? No.

You have a fucking company credit card. I use it. Yeah, I'm not going to use it without talking to you guys. I'm going to just stop buying. Well, that makes, that makes, that makes sense. The premise of how do you have Nitro? I paid for it. I just pay for it. You can pay for it. Like I know.

I know. Dumbass. I'm saying. You're the one that asked. Did Eric give it to you? And I was going to know about it. Well, I know that now, don't I? I don't have a company card. I was. Wait, what? I wasn't saying physically, how do you have it?

Like what? What was. If anybody legitimately wants a company card, I can get one issued for you. Why doesn't have one? Yeah, why not? Why does he need one? Why does it? Why does you why do you need one? Why did I give you one? I don't even know. To buy games that we play. Yeah, just give yours to Nick.

Yeah. Yeah, just give yours to Nick and then he'll have one. I used it for buying a domain. Considering that when I got a company card for Let's Play, I was told explicitly you two could not be trusted with them. The fact that you both just have them. Well, I told them when we worked at Rooster Teeth, I told them up front that I wasn't going to do any reporting for it. And they said, OK, we won't give you one.

And I said, fine. Yeah. Because I knew I wouldn't. I knew that it would annoy them. It would annoy me. I might as well just not have one. Can I tell you guys something funny? I was going through like old mail the other day and just like cleaning up my my house and I found a letter from American Express that I had just never opened. And I opened it up and it was my new credit card from Rooster Teeth.

I guess I had just never noticed and activated my final roosterteeth American Express card. It's pretty cool. Perfect time to activate it. Yeah I did not activate it. Do you think it works if you did? I do not think it works. I don't think there's anything it's tied to anymore. They finally they finally killed my email access three weeks ago I'm sure that there's anything it's like to anymore. They finally they finally killed my email access to three weeks ago I'm sure that a credit cards went away a long time ago What if it's just linked directly to the Warner media account? Then you'd be committing some sort of illegal activity by using it out of assume what if it's just Bernie's now

It's charging to get sim it It's fine. That's funny. Yeah Okay, let's wrap this up should we really fuck off this time? Yeah, wait wait the blood come from what the blood come from Oh, I don't know. There's no more. I uh sweet. I don't know There's no more blood. I forgot about it. I don't see it up up. I guess Well there you go you have now listened to the forty... What episode was this? Second? Yeah, there you go.

Forty second episode of the Regulation Podcast from start to finish, I assume. It would be weird if you just fast forwarded to this part. Although hey man, whatever floats your boat. I'm not here to yuck your yum as the young kids say these days. Thanks for listening. I know it's the worst, right? It's not collab bad, but it's up there. Thanks for listening to another episode.

I hope it was entertaining for you. It was certainly something on our end. And we'd appreciate it if you'd let somebody in your life know about the Regulation Podcast. Maybe a friend, family member, coworker, doctor, accountant, advisor, maybe your HR department, old teacher, maybe a childhood friend, maybe a childhood bully that you're trying to reconnect with, maybe somebody that you need to make a lifelong apology to, maybe somebody that you've had a crush on your entire

life. Can you please end this so you can go to the fucking airport? Maybe it's just Eric, I don't know know but let somebody know if you wouldn't mind We'd appreciate it and we'll be here next week saying the same dumb shit I imagine Gavin's balls will come up at some point so you don't want to miss that bye. Bye Eric left Face