F**kface - Different Countries, Different Decades // Geoff Still Can't Take Photos [115]

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Death Diving, Go Go Now Joey bellyflop, tea towel Gavin redux, Fuxedo, Chocotaco fiasco, popsicle talk, American Movie & Hands on a Hardbody, Eyes Wide Shut, Kubrick, movies, ice cream cakes, cookie puss, and being a cereal history podcast. Download the full audio at: https://bit.ly/3ataI0e  Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail]  Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/FACE), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), and Shopify (http://shopify.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. Let's get rolling all around. This is episode 115.

I don't know volumes or seasons, but that is the episode number. I don't understand why you don't do the intro anymore. Testing, testing. Okay. Okay, Gavin, can you do the intro, I guess? What is my password? What is my password? What? I need to

sign into my work email to upload this file, and I don't know my password. And it's not saved on this Windows. How are you not just permanently signed in? Because it's, I don't know my password and it's not saving those windows permanently signed in because it's I don't I don't use this computer typically have you tried one of the F keys I haven't so I'm gonna sign out on my Mac and then it has my password auto filled and I could click show me what the password is and then I will put it in my windows computer and then i can upload the file hey everybody welcome to episode 115 of face starring an american from the 70s a brit from the 80s

and a canadian from the 90s the most diverse podcast cast that consists of three white men. Different countries, different decades. Wow. That was good. That was a great intro. How was the energy on that one? I don't usually do it, so I never know. It was fantastic energy. Very high energy.

It was a disturbing amount of energy to come from you. It was. And for a second episode too this is yeah yeah you're coming out strong i would say i feel a little lost not knowing what volume or season we're in i'm just gonna take me well i know the fucking answer but i'm not gonna oh my god oh my god what is that 220 i'm sorry while we're doing this i'm watching i forgot uh two weeks ago or last time we recorded uh we i think it was episode

113 i mentioned that i had discovered this new sport because of uh comment levers called death diving and i asked if y'all were oh yeah oh i forgot about that we're gonna explain uh we were gonna explore it uh because i think it might be a i think there's a real real good chance that it could be uh something that we could get into. Kind of like maybe a bean hole thing. Let me send you a video. This is a sport from Norway. It's called death diving. It's a seven minute video.

I'm not recommending you watch all seven minutes, but I would say you'll get a good gist of what's going on around 2.05. Okay, so 2.05. 2.05? Feel free to bounce around after that, but you'll get a sense of what death diving is Werner Grohn

oh no oh no it's just is it just belly flops is it just the worst oh Jesus Christ it's like that's the how do they... Is it like splash size and sound?

Like, what is the judging criteria? I don't exactly know. I think he bottled it there because he tucked his head at the last minute. He also brought his knees up. That wasn't a great belly thought. I think that's actually a part of it because some of the...

I don't know. I did a bunch of reading on it that I don't remember now. But I think that you're allowed to tuck at the last minute to keep from killing yourself. Okay. Yeah, because I remember when we went swimming for your birthday, Jeff, Go Go Now

Joey did a belly flop on purpose, and he just swam to the side and just sat quietly for about 20 minutes. Dude. It's so much pain. Did you call Go Go Now Joey. Dude. I was in so much pain. Did you call Go-Go now, Joey? Yeah.

Yeah, I love that name. I'm going to convince... I got to get his other friends to call him that and make it his actual nickname. I had a similar thing where I did a dive. It wasn't a belly flop, but I just landed wrong on my nuts. And I had to swim over to the corner

by the waterfall for about five minutes and just like just catch my nut breath because I'm so worried about your testicles at the moment for a sec to be aside when we were digging the bean hole you were having problems because your nuts were flying all over the place and every time you hit the ground

with a hammer dude when you become a big boy your nuts drop and then when you become an old boy, your nuts drop. And then when you become an old boy, your nuts just keep on dropping. Anyway, I think that we should start training. And I think I could see

Gav competing in death diving. We just need to go to Norway. It's only a competition in Norway, but they have like the world championships and stuff, and they take it

very seriously. And I feel like we could be good at this. And has someone died while death diving? I don't know. Check out the guy at like 5, like 5, like 458. 5.

Look at that dive. Oh, a little smaller, younger guy. Oh, he's really pushing. He's got a massive run-up he's cycling himself right up look at this it has to be a splash thing right and the guy's like that was uh that was beautiful it's just so ludicrous i've never seen a a graceless dive before but that's what this sport is he was just like a board that's why i that's why he's like a board he got tens that was perfect

according to some people that's fucking crazy that's why i think we can excel i think like if there is any if there is a group of people that are more graceless than us i'd like to meet them i'd yeah i this seems like a lot of potential it's like they removed all the skill and you just have to have pain tolerance yeah if i could if i could change the focus of the company Rooster Teeth completely and point it in a direction, it would be in face getting into professional beanholing and death diving. I would put the resources of the 400 person company behind just those two things. It would be all face all the time.

And we would probably be training in Norway right now. That would be quite the pivot for the company. It would confuse people. Quite the pivot for a niche sport. But, you know, got to take big risks. Remember that amazing dive you had, Jeff, like off the boat into the little ring, like you went right down the middle?

They'd boo that. They'd get a one. They'd get a.5 here. They'd fucking hate it. Yeah. I think I would come up with like an innovative nut slapper where maybe you could see my fucking nuts reverberate as they hit the water or something.

Or maybe like I go backwards. And so the last thing you see as my body goes under is my nuts floating above me for a second. That would be a cool dive. If all of these sound like tricks in a Tony Hawk game, I'm even more into it. Like, we just need to keep that going. We need the combos. I'm all about this.

Combos. Death diving. Anyway, thanks to the community, uh, the comment leaders who posted that on the subreddit. That's where I saw it. So was that just because, did they post it just because it was very us in vibe? Yeah, I think so.

I think they were like, I don't remember exactly, but I think they were like, these guys are a water podcast or they're into water sports. They should check out this sport. They like to dive so much. And then I was like, it was like a whole night of my life was just sitting in my in my library next to the shelves, just watching death diving compilations. I've really enjoyed building up this newer community of regulation listeners

because I feel like so many of them just get it. They just get us. Just the act of sending us that is like, absolutely. Yeah, no, it's perfect. They understand us. They're like, we got you, buddy. Here you go. No, it's the best.

They are the regulation listeners and the comment leavers out of 19 and a half years of building communities nothing has come close to those people they're phenomenal they make they make albums

albums albums not album albums have you seen the Lego animation thing yes I met that guy

I met that guy in Atlanta when I was at a convention. He was awesome. And I've been meaning to... He Instagrammed me. I suck so bad at... Ben Davis can tell you this,

and Rebecca. I suck so bad at social media and getting back to people, but I fucking... I think that kid's brilliant. Yeah, I believe... He does great work. His channel is ThatBrendanKid.

Yeah, if you want to see it. Yeah, I wrote that down. I want to talk about that. There's also somebody who made a fucking child kicker game. I their name is mediocre it's so cool it's amazing i played it with uh emily for a little bit yeah yeah it's so cool it's just the our the listeners and commonly everybody's so sweet and creative and yeah i completely agree we have a wonderful community of people yeah i'm reading into death diving. This actually provides some context that makes me like it even more.

It consists of people jumping from a 10 meter high board and landing in the water with their arms and legs spread out like an X and they need to hold the pose for as long as possible before they hit the water. So it seems that's the scoring criteria. You're trying to get as close to a belly flop as you can without actually getting a belly flop yeah a 30 foot belly flop you said it was 10 meters right 10 meters belly a 30 foot belly flop would fuck you up like you do real damage to your to yourself 100 which by the way goes back into why it was so fucking crazy that that idiot jumped off the top of the Pennypacker Bridge in Austin and almost died.

Yeah. That was a hundred and twenty feet or whatever. Jesus. Just ridiculous. He didn't go for the flop though, right? No, I think it was a hundred and ninety feet. No, he didn't go for the flop. He would have been flat like he got run over

by one of those rolly things in a fucking Acme cartoon. It would have looked like a fatality of Mortal Kombat if he went for the flop. It would have just, all of his skin would shoot off. It would be terrible. It would have just been that dude's soup. Yeah.

De-gloved his whole body. This is great. I like to support a lot i'm gonna i'm gonna do some more research into death diving thank you i think it's very cool very very cool sharing this it's amazing seen it in in the since the last recording we've seen a lot of people attempting to draw me on the tea towel just from hearing it and some very good attempts. It's been so much fun. I enjoyed so much looking through that again and realizing all the poor kids that didn't realize it would be copied

so like their names are backwards. I did not notice all the backwards names on my first look through. Oh, there's backwards names? Oh, a bunch of them are backwards. Yeah, it's fantastic. I assume they just scanned it though, wouldn't they? I don't know, but there's a bunch of names that are backwards on that list. I don't even know how that happens.

Even Katie, super fan Jack's wife, sent me her interpretation. Oh, did she really? It was very good. Yeah, we got to do something with that. We were talking about maybe, you know how we had the Ian pocket tea? Maybe doing something like that or just just with the picture of gavin on a pocket tea or i don't know it's uh we obviously we need to make tea towels at some

point but i want to get the community involved in that yeah um it's just such a it's just such a charming image i don't know how to describe it it's so sweet I'd love maybe next to RTX to have an absurdly large tea towel the hairball alone is just my favorite yeah the hairball is great yeah I wish that was a tradition everywhere as you said Jeff I wish I had one of those

that I could look back on I think it would be nice to do a shirt that was you and Andrew draw yourselves now but then we use my one from 1991 to do a shirt that was you and Andrew draw yourselves now, but then we use my one from 1991. That is a pretty funny idea. I was telling Gavin, I had a real, I had a real face of an idea. And for the record, I think Gavin's idea is way better direction to go than this. But I was thinking, wouldn't it be funny if we just had one shirt at all times and to to have a new shirt we'd have to discontinue the old shirt so like if you wanted to buy a face shirt right now your only option

would be anal passage until we replace it with gavin's tea towel shirt and then it's the only face shirt you can get until we come up with another joke and we're only ever allowed to have one shirt in production at any given time. But we'd go out of business pretty fast, so let's not do that. Yeah, I like it because it's a guaranteed way to lose money. Well. I mean, I'm happy that we got given $3,000 to buy a suit.

I can't do it. I cannot complain about that. That was like... And, you know, kudos to the higher-ups at Rooster Teeth for having some faith in us because, you know, there could be zero return on that investment.

It very likely could be zero return ever on that investment. So it was very sweet of them. Oh! I mean, I bought the port-a-potty. Zero return,

but that's true. Like, it's worked both ways, I think. It's all gonna be worth it when I see Gavin in that suit. I am so excited to see it. So have we talked about recreating the poster on the podcast?

We did, yes. Yeah, I think so. Cool, we got the f*** Sita. The f*** Sita. Oh, I forgot I emailed Kevin Donovan about it. Haven't heard back. Why won't you stop emailing him? I just thought it would be a fun piece of trivia.

I was just like, hey. You're such a stalker to him now. No. He's like, dude, you're not going to believe me. Remember that weird kid that kept trying to get me on his podcast and kept telling me how much he hated my movie? He just told me he bought the tuxedo from the movie, and he's like, I don't know what to do. Is he going to be going through my trash next week?

No, I will never reach out to Kevin Donovan again. I hadn't reached out since the last time I attempted to, which was months ago. Based on our reaction last time, why would you do it again? We got away with it. I thought it would be, wouldn't you want to know? If you directed a movie called The Tuxedo, wouldn't you want to know where

The Tuxedo ended up? I would. No, I think I would hope that it was in good hands and not ours. Well, I would the best hands, I would argue. I'm so excited to see you in the tuxedo because I think you're going to be so terrified about ruining it in some way. You know what you should, you should tell him,

you should email him one more time. Why don't you email him? Because I apparently can't. Well, hold on, I'm not done. Uh, just say like, hey, I just want to let you know we paid $3,000 for the tuxedo, so I don't know if you want to talk to Box Office Mojo or how this works,

but maybe you could get that added to the theatrical boost it up a little bit more for the historical figures boost yeah I'd love if there was data somewhere where someone was like why is the tuxedo spiking an interest what has happened like

we did with the Don Zimmer cards where they're like is this like a money laundering scheme? What is happening? Why is this? If we could create a rush on the tuxedo in any way, that would make me very happy. Man, did I tell you guys that someone, some wonderful comment lever gave me an autographed Don Zimmer baseball card at RTX? No.

That's awesome. I have it right here. I'll take a photo and send it to you guys. It's really fucking cool. And it is his signature because I have his little face autographed. I saw there was one on Breakshit that I think you opened.

Do you have two now? Or is this the same one? That had an autograph? A Zimmer that had an autograph? Was it a baseball? No, that was a baseball. That was an autographed baseball. Yeah, I have that too.

OK, I have that too. And this is a card. Oh, that's the worst photo I've ever taken. I'm going to send you the photo. I'll send you the good photo and then the bad photo. I'll just send them both.

I wonder if we'll be able to tell which is good and which is bad. Oh, yeah, you'll be able to tell. You're so excited. Let me find Discord. Oh, you're going to love this. Yeah, sure, probably. discord oh you're gonna love this uh yeah sure probably wait how have you made him wink in the first one how have you done that you've you've taken don zimmer's eye in the first photo

i don't know i've never seen that happen you've changed how he's winking. You did a live Photoshop. I don't know. I didn't do anything differently from photo to photo. I swear. That is creepy. Maybe. What if I'm a good photographer? But no, my phone is possessed.

What if I am? What do you mean? I was a professional photographer. I was a fucking photojournalist for five years. I won awards. I think it's a much greater chance that my phone is possessed, probably by the same demon that possesses Gavin's socks. I was about to say, has Gavin held your phone before?

Because if so, that's just cursed. You're right. We should eventually make a coffee table book of all of jeff's shit oh i would hate that to open a photo book and have to like flip the book to the side to try to get that'd be so annoying but treat it like not tongue-in-cheek at all treat apple would treat their frickin' design book. That's very funny. Hey, Gavin, you're from England and Andrew, you're from Canada, and Eric, you're from America.

Are you guys, I know Eric is, but you guys, did, when you guys were growing up, did they have a thing called the Choco Taco where you live? Like an ice cream dessert? No. So you didn't have like a little like a taco where the like a crunchy taco where the taco shell

is made out of like ice cream cone material and inside is ice cream and then chocolate like a hard chocolate top with nuts on it. You never had one of those? I'm very familiar with the Choco Taco but I don't know if we had it in trucks. I was always a like Spongebob. Yeah, I don't know if we had it in trucks. I was always a, like, Or at, like, stores

or whatever? Yeah, I don't think I've seen it in a store either, but I associate the Choco Taco as, like, an ice cream truck item. And I would always go for, like, the SpongeBob with bubblegum ice. That would be my go-to.

I didn't really explore the board. I think there is some bullshit shenanigans going on right now in America. That Choco Taco has been around my entire life. The Choco Taco was so popular that they sold it at Taco Bell as the dessert for a while, for a couple of years. It's by Klondike, who's a huge company, right? They just announced that

they are discontinuing the Choco Taco and it's going to be gone forever. I find it really fucking hard to believe that an iconic dessert like the Choco Taco that has been so successful. Name another. You ever see a drumstick at McDonald's? No, because they don't sell those kinds of desserts at fast food restaurants, but they were selling the Taco Bell for years. It's everywhere. I've never met a person who doesn't love a Choco Taco. They're fucking phenomenal. And now they're announcing that they're discontinuing them forever, I'm gonna say right here, I fucking bet you, in less than a

year, they will bring back, due to quote-unquote popular demand, that Choco Taco, and it'll be everywhere. It's bullshit. They have no, they are not removing it forever. I mean, are you buying this thing? That's nonsense. They're liars. They are, as Davide, as Davide,

as Davide on this season of Love Island UK would say, they are a liar. They are liars. You are liars. You're actors. That's bullshit, dude. It is bullshit. It's a total marketing ploy.

They're taking Choco Tacos away from us to make us miss them so that we can pay more for them when they come back. It's just like the goddamn Mexican pizza. And I'm not standing for it. Do you think it's just the machine that makes them broke and there's only one in the country and they're just getting it repaired? What is their... What is their reasoning for getting rid

of the Choco Taco? I don't think they said that. It looks really good. Why remove the Choco Taco? It does look delicious. Because I know what the Twinkie... They are delicious. I think Hostess went out of business, right?

And then some other company bought Hostess, and then that's why it came back. Here we go. Unfortunately, the Choco Taco has been discontinued in both the one count and four count packs. Over the past two years, we've experienced an unprecedented spike in demand across our portfolio,

and we have had to make some very tough decisions to ensure availability of our portfolio nationwide. Here's why that's bullshit. Do you know I'm a big fan of Klondike bars? I love Klondike bars, right? You know how many different fucking varieties of Klondike bars are? There are a thousand different fucking Klondike bars. right? You know how many different fucking varieties of Klondike bars are? There are a thousand different fucking Klondike bars.

I'm pulling them up right now. Hold on a second. No, thank you. Don't want that. There is the Crunch Bar with Nestle Crunch. There's the Plain Klondike Bar. There's the Reese's Klondike Bar. There's the No Sugar Added Vanilla Klondike Bar.

There's the Cookies Klondike Bar. There's 37 different ways to eat vanilla Klondike bar. There's the cookies Klondike bar. There's 37 different ways to eat a Klondike bar. Cut one of those. Cut the crunchy Klondike bar and let me keep the Choco Taco. It's fucking criminal. Do you think it'd be hard to make one? That's, no. I don't think I could.

They make a mint chocolate Klondike bar. I love mint chocolate, but maybe cut that one out and let me keep my Choco Taco. It's even... It's integral to the full flavor lineup. Look at this. You go...

You go to their website. You want to see the full flavor lineup? You're telling me... You're telling me... Look at these fucking desserts. You're gonna... You're telling me that these motherfuckers, sorry, I'm trying to pad while I figure out how to upload from my desktop.

You're telling me that these motherfuckers put the, the first thing you see in the full flavor lineup on their website is a Choco Taco. Then a stack of a variety of Klondike bars, then an ice cream, the two different ice cream cookie bar and an ice cream sandwich bar. You're telling me the Klondike, the Choco Taco isn't doing well enough to compete with those. It's, it's, it's a fucking star player. You know what I don't see there? A drumstick anywhere to be found. They make a million drumsticks, but it doesn't make it into the full flavor lineup image because it's not as popular because the choco taco is revered and everybody loves it they are

fucking us over we can't let it happen also we should try to make our own i really want one that looks yeah that looks delicious yeah because it's maybe maybe it's the thing jeff where people don't appreciate what they have in the choco taco you say that it's been around forever maybe it's just like it's always there people don't appreciate what they have in the Choco Taco, you say that it's been around forever. Maybe it's just like it's always there. People don't appreciate it. They're not getting them. And this will maybe create a wave. I think the closest that I've had to it is probably a feast which doesn't have the waffle part, but it's

like the same sort of chocolatey outside and then there's like a chocolate shell on the inside. Yeah, kind of similar property. Like you wrap that in a tortilla, a crunchy tortilla made out of waffle cone, and that'd essentially be it. I have an issue with freezies. That has been my summer treat.

And I don't know, is that what you guys call them? Is that a Canadian thing? So last week was cheesies and now it's freezies? Yeah, is it freezies? Do you have freezies? Is that what you call them? Oh, the Otter Pops. Like ice pops. Yeah, yeah Oh, the Otter Pops.

Like ice pops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flavor Pops, ice pops. Yeah, I eat these like, I probably eat about 12 of these a day. Yeah, I've been struggling to get them because I was told by a grocery store that there is a shortage of the plastic

they use to contain them. So it's been a struggle. It's been a tough summer to get those. That has been my great loss as far as the dessert treat goes. I don't think I've ever seen a Choco Taco in a store in Canada. I'm sorry to hear that because you can get these like, these are everywhere in Austin.

Like you go to every grocery store and they're just like piles of them. Oh, those? Yeah, exactly. Those are called freezies, at least where I live. And yeah, it's been tough. I've struggled to get them. I saw a stupid, you know how TikTok has like, well, you might not because maybe you're not on TikTok,

but TikTok has a lot of like life hack videos. Well, there's one where you can take one of those and like you snap it in half when it's frozen real fast and then you get like two sides so you don't have to like cut the end off. I've tried it with every single one I've had this summer and I've had zero success success i don't believe that's true yeah i think so you're trying to splice what you're trying to like join two together

no no you can like when it's frozen supposedly you can just like the way it works gav i know you don't have a lot of uh you don't need a lot of sweets but the way it works is that's frozen and then you just take scissors and you cut the end off and then you squeeze it out but that the life hack on tiktok is you just take it uh both ends and you snap it in the middle oh i see you have like you have like two ends but it does not work isn't like how wrestlers like they would kind of fuck the shirt up a little bit before ripping it to make it possible i feel like that's what was done with your freezy video yeah it's like when you score something you're about to throw somebody through in a movie. Yeah,

exactly. Do you guys, did you guys ever see American? What was it called? An American, American movie? No, but I'm aware of it.

I've never seen it. There's a scene. Uh, if you haven't seen it, it's a documentary about these dudes up in, I don't know, like Wisconsin or Minnesota or somewhere trying to make a horror movie. And they're, uh, it's, it's a really great endearing movie. You

should watch it. Yeah. Those two dudes, the dude on the left is the guy is like the creative guy. And then the dude on the right is his best friend, Mike, who's just like a weird stoner metal dude. Uh, and it's just them. It's somebody documenting them trying to make their horror movie called coven, except they call it Coven. It's really funny every time they say it. And there's a scene where he's in a fight in a kitchen, and they score a kitchen cabinet door so they can ram his head through it, but they barely score it. And it's just a scene of them ramming his head into this door over and over again.

And he almost dies. And he's like, maybe we should cut it more. And that's what I think about every time I think of scoring. Just watching him get slammed into it. I haven't scored anything since that chair that you had at the Fourth of July party. Dude, that's callback joke of the year right that's a great that's a great callback you were afraid you wouldn't have anything for this episode Gavin I whipped that one up

that's great I've always wanted to see that documentary have you seen hands on a hard body that's like of course favorite oh it's so good I think it should be required watching for anybody who wants to live in Texas I feel like that movie explains Texas. I just I feel like anybody should see it. It's such a perfect just all the characters in it are fantastic. There's so much natural comedy in it for people that haven't seen it. It's it documents a competition at a car dealership where people have to hold their hand on a truck and the last person standing wins the truck.

And it follows like 10 or 12 people that are part of this contest. And it is incredible. It's got everyone from like the young kid who's trying for the first time who needs a car to the grizzled vet who had won in the past and has decided to come back. And he's like considered the greatest at this random thing.

It's awesome. Great documentary. Yeah, you should, you should. Have you ever seen it, Gav? What's the name of it again? Hands on a Hard Body should you should have you ever seen it yet what's the name of it again hands on a hard body no i've don't seen it there's oh it's one of my favorite lines from any movie ever whereas there's this guy that guy thank you jeff that is the fucking guy he tells this story about how they got a air conditioner that was for a walmart installed on their house because they're like, we're

driving by and they were shutting it down so I got it real cheap. He's so happy and he's missing almost all his teeth. He's like, we got it. It was so good. When we set it up, we didn't realize it would take the house 16 below zero, but we quickly learned that it

would. It shifts. He's so serious to his house he installed an ac unit for a walmart in his home and it brought it to 16 below zero it's so good there's this other guy where they're like what's your strategy he's like i'm gonna eat a snickers at breakfast i'm gonna eat a snickers at breakfast. I'm going to eat a Snickers at lunch. It's got all the nutrition I need. I fucking love hands on a hard body. It's amazing.

It's pretty fantastic. I want to go back and rewatch it now. It takes place in a city called Long View, Texas. FYI. Which is east of Tyler. So it's like, I want to say northeast of Austin a little bit. Yeah.

Like maybe, maybe that two and a half hours away from us. Northeast. Oh, that's great. Oh man. Good movie. Two fantastic documentaries that both came out.

Not kind of are in the same era. Like I think, I think hands on a hard body came out before American movie, but they're both, they're both highly entertaining documentaries that are show the fascinating human condition. I'll say that. Yes, they're great. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey, the easy way to save when shopping on your iPhone or computer.

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Use my link, expressvpn.com slash face today and get an extra three months free on a one year package. That's expressvpn.com slash face visit expressvpn.com slash face to learn more you know what i just watched for the first time this week and it was quite quite the experience eyes wide shut never seen it before never seen it by stanley a little bit staley kubrick i had no idea i was so wrong on what i thought that movie was about i was aware that there was a sex cult in it had no concept of where the story would go wow is it gripping it's a great movie is it good i just i just seen

sex cult stuff and never thought to watch it no it's really good i think it's a work of art yeah i think it's brilliant it's one of the it's a beautifully shot film and there's cubic does such a good job of building tension uh as tom cruise is kind of navigating to get heat like he's trying to find his way into this sex cult and just like all the things he does all the directions he kind of goes trying to get there and then when he finally does get it's just it's fucking crazy. Yeah, like I sort of I went in only knowing about probably sort of what you knew, Gavin. And I assume that the movie essentially ended with that moment and that it would be like him. Nicole Kidman joined us, the sex cult thing.

And that's not at all where the story goes. And it leads to a mystery that is fantastic. And it's just the lighting in it, like the production, everything is so fucking good. It's perfect. It's a great movie. Well, it's because Stanley Kubrick doesn't let anyone leave until he shot something 1900 times. It's the largest

post-production on any movie ever, I believe. I think it was like 400 days in post or something like that. Wow. It was his last film, I think, wasn't it? He died four days after submitting the final cut. AI technically is his last film, but he he died while they were filming that. So he only filmed the first. I think he directed the first like he directed up until the kid gets thrown into the woods

and then Steven Spielberg takes over. Oh, wow. It's also such a fascinating movie for tom cruise to be in like the concept of him of all people seeing him walk into a cult scenario and how he handles that and with like the current context of tom it's just thinking that he has probably seen wilder shit than what is in this movie it's very fascinating yeah it's just like the lobby of scientology what was what was the password was it like it was like lothario it was like yeah yeah it was something like that it was a latin word i believe and it was related to mozart and someone yeah what was that it has so many great

cameos and it cameo might even be a wrong word i just don't know if they're established actors but like alan tudyk is in it and like one scene and he's great um there's this guy i don't know if they're established actors, but like Alan Tudyk is in it and like one scene and he's great. There's this guy. I don't know his name, but he plays Russians and movies all the time. And he was in Mission Impossible 2. I thought, oh, that's so weird that you would be in a later Tom Cruise movie. He owns like a costume store in the film. There are a few actors in that.

Thomas Gibson from Criminal Minds has like a really weird role there's a lot of like people that you recognize in it very man i will say too uh tom cruise and nicole kidman you know they were obviously married when they made this movie and obvious and then they you know got divorced and then tom cruise has uh gone his route and she went hers uh but in that film they like you're like god damn these are two beautiful people who are in love together and having a life together they fit so well together they looked so they had so much i thought they had so much chemistry like actual chemistry you could really i don't know they seem like they had something really special going it's a good actors yeah to read about it

seemed like a lot of the production on it fucked with their marriage in a lot of ways. Like they had to do really serious counseling as part of the movie. And it was like Stanley Kubrick sort of created the divide that their characters had within the context of the story in their own personal life.

It's really fascinating to read about. Yeah, I read a, like a... Kubrick probably did a, had a lot of question like stuff that would be considered very questionable now in his directing practices and and the way he like exerted control over things big time eric said big time yeah big time same with uh all those like hitchcock as well really i'm not as familiar with him in those practices i remember like harvey kytel i think has a story where he was in some Kubrick movie, and he made him open a door like 70 different times, and he said, Fuck you and quit.

So he just had to recast the role. Yeah, I think I appreciate... That was Eyes Wide Shut. Was it? I'm pretty sure that was Eyes Wide Shut. That's awesome. I feel like I like a lot of Kubrick's technical stuff, like a lot of the developmental things

gone into camera equipment that started with him, but God, I would have hated to be on one of those sets. I would have not wanted to wake up every day and go deal with that. Jesus. I fucking, well, I've never, like, I think all sets suck. I imagine Stanley Kub, well, I've never, like, I think all sets suck. I imagine Stanley Kubrick's probably were way worse, but I don't think, movie sets aren't fun.

No. I mean, it's like, it's crunch is what it is. Yeah. It's like, I don't, people, people don't, it's such a stressful environment to be in. Whether it's a fucking small potatoes or big, or big production. It's, that's a stressful way to make a living high stress but very it's it's always fulfilling at the end i feel like the longest yeah the longest i worked on a film was probably two weeks and at the end of it i was just exhausted and a zombie

but i do look back on it fondly it's like oh there's some stuff i did on in a movie that's exactly what eric said they they're great for, but they suck to be in. Totally. What movie was that? Was that Sherlock Holmes? Yeah, just because it had so much slow-mo. I only did slow-mo, so it's not like I would work on a film for its entire run. But there was like a two or three week shoot just on Phantoms.

Weren't you also, I'm just going off memory, weren't you also shooting in the snow somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, train stuff or something? Or was that a different movie? That might have been Snow White and the Huntsman, but that was fake snow. I just remember you being cold and miserable. No, I've definitely been cold and miserable. I don't know if it was for a film.

I mean, England in the winter is that. It's cold and Israel at 5am I don't I think I've only seen Eyes Wide Shut and The Shining from Kubrick is it those stories or is he just remarkably good at making his whole world seem interesting

like every aspect of the world that his stories take place in are things I want to explore and know more information about. And he does such a good job of containing what that information is. Yeah, there are very few true auteurs in the world. And I think he would, I think he would probably be one of the most successful and most prolific. He, he exerted, David Lynch liked this too, exerted such control over every... It all feels deliberate.

Every element of the... Yeah, it does. And it is. And I think it takes probably a really unhealthy mind to be able to focus that much attention on something for that long. Like, I remember reading when Lost Highway came out, which is one of my favorite David Lynch films,

and I think a fantastic film if you can get past the bad music, like Ramstein and shit. But I remember reading before the movie came out that David Lynch designed all the furniture in the film because he couldn't find, when he was trying to design Bill Pullman's house, he couldn't figure out, he just couldn't get Bill Pullman's house, he couldn't figure out,

he just couldn't get it to look right. So he's like, fuck it, I'll just build all the furniture myself. And he's a really talented furniture maker, so he did. And I remember thinking, like, that's fucking cool. But now when I think back, and I'm like, Jesus Christ, man,

just go to Ikea. Like, fucking sexist, you know? Fucking hell. My favorite Kubrick thing is Barry Lyndon, which is a movie that I don't think a lot of people like talk about with Kubrick. But he shot it with no it's a period piece and he shot it with no artificial light and had to use like special lenses that they had to like develop or they were used by NASA on the moon because everything was lit with natural light or candle. Yeah, I think it's because and

because film at the time wasn't incredibly sensitive there was like you got your f stops on lens but he had like f zero point something it was like to the point where a sliver like a piece of fabric thickness of focus that you've got now and that was on film when you couldn't even really tell if you were getting it like the film bouncing further away and towards the little, you know, lens gate would have affected the focus at that point. Horrendous. It's crazy. I should do a deep dive on Kubrick. I've never seen Full Metal Jacket.

I've always wanted to see that. Oh, my God, dude. Full Metal Jacket, isn't it? That is an intense... First off, it's a long-ass fucking movie. Like, it's one of those movies where the first half is i'm not gonna spoil anything in that film for you because it's a phenomenal movie and it's was it was actually private joker was uh influential in why i became a journalist in

the army because he's a he was a journalist in the military in the marines the young matthew modine yeah matthew matthew modine was like he rubbed off on me and i wanted i kind of wanted to to be like him um when i was a kid i don't know uh in that i just thought that that was if you're going to be in the military that's a cool way to do it um eric said we're a good we're a real podcast now for white guys talking about how good pubic is uh but it's like there's like an entire film just in basic training and then you think the movie's over when that's over and then it's like oh's like an entire film just in basic training. And then you think the movie's over when that's over. And there's like, oh, no, you have a whole other fucking film that happens. That's like a totally shifts gears.

And it's just like it's insane. It's intense. And Vincent D'Onofrio turns in one of the most disturbing performances you will ever see on film. Really? More disturbing than him in Men in Black? Yeah. He's great in Men in Black too. Danny Boyle is great at that. Making movies

that have tonal shifts in the last act but they work. Like train spotting shifts into like kind of a heist movie at the end. Sunshine becomes like a murder thriller. Like there's a real genre change in a lot of this work. I don't feel like Sunshine gets enough credit. That was a really great film. It's a real genre change in a lot of this work i don't feel like sunshine gets enough credit that's a really great film it's a great movie yeah or enough recognition i guess it's really good you'd like it it's sci-fi it's real good yeah i'm gonna catch up on space movies

like sunshine and i've never seen event horizon which is apparently important to watch oh event horizons it's a good movie it's yeah it's like a gross probably probably dated now but it's uh it's a scary movie too kind of yeah it's a good horror movie it's a movie's like a probably probably dated now but it's uh it's a scary movie too kind of yeah it's a good horror movie it's a movie podcast you know wes anderson does that a lot where you're like it's like a totally second half of the film's a totally different movie jesus christ yeah uh let's stop talking about movies because you know there's someone listening who's seen none of those films or who's seen all of them and is like he fuck up fuck off you don't know what you're talking about this is exciting

when you watch a movie like that like in eyes wide shut sorry to go back to movies immediately there's a scene where tom cruise is reading a news story about an event that happened in the movie and i wanted to pause the film to read it and I've never had that with a movie where it was like everything felt so detailed and was so engaging to pursue oh speaking of movies I don't ever really watch movies

anymore you know I don't have the attention span but my mom's in town and so we wanted to do something last night so I watched that movie The Gray Man on Netflix. The new Ryan Gosling, Chris Evans movie. Have you guys seen that? No. Pretty good. Pretty good. It's kind of like a Bourne identity. They're saying it might be

a new big franchise where it's like Ryan Gosling plays a Jason Bourne type character and then Chris Evans is the bad guy. It's fun. Got Billy Bob Thornton in it. I'm walking away from this podcast with like five things to watch. Two documentaries, watch some kubrick films i'm walking away from this knowing that if stanley kubrick was alive we'd still have a choco taco that's what my main takeaway you can all tie it back telling you guys i'm gonna be vindicated when you are seven or eight

months they're gonna be like the back but you demanded it so we're bringing it back the choco taco they only took it away i promise you it's only been taken away so that they can give it back to us you're totally right like undeniably that's what's gonna happen i think my favorite one of those type stories like hostess went on business somebody re-bought them brought back the uh the twinkie believe that's what happened with that chucky cheese was the thing when it started it gained popularity and they were gonna strike a deal with this investor and they pulled out at the last minute it was like fuck you we can make our own thing so they started showtime pizza which was like the same idea animatronics arcade showbiz pizza

showbiz thank you yes showbiz pizza they were gonna partner with chucky cheese then they backed out of the deal made showbiz pizza chucky cheese overextended went bankrupt showbiz pizza then bought chucky cheese then got rid of their own company name and called everything chucky cheese so chucky cheese is really showbiz pizza now and it's all failing so who cares but i just think it's such a wild thing of being like, fuck you, I could do it better. And then just absorbing the company that started it all and pretending that you're them.

And honestly, they did. Like, that was my childhood. I was of the era when these things came out. So that was like, those were birthday parties for me. Showbiz was way better than Chuck E. Cheese. Way better than Chuck E. Cheese. They had a much better show. The animatronic show was...

The concert they would put on was so fucking good. What was that band called? Have you ever seen the concept unification video? No. It's where they're like stripping all the fur off one brand and rebranding the animatronics with the other brand. It's like an instructional

video. It's like, now tear this piece off and shove the the eyes on this one it's like it's gruesome that's hideous that is hideous they were called the rockafire explosion they had a they had a fucking they had a i don't know if it was yeah it was they had a gorilla in like a tuxedo who was fucking awesome that's great he played the keyboard i think that's fucking cool do you have anything like that growing up gavin uh no what about like arcades was there any arcade scene uh yeah but i lived in a really small town i don't really have that's fair i mean i feel like i had the similar i had a place called cyber city and it sucked but that's

like that's what we had oh there's a concept unification tape uh it's like some vhs they sent to all of the locations and it's just so creepy was there like because like when i grew up there were arcades in town obviously but you don't have access to them unless you get your mom to take you which is a rarity so like there was like there was a one walmart that I could run my bike to that had Street Fighter II and Ivan Iron Man's Off-Road. So those were my access to video games. Did you have a gas station or something, Gav, or a restaurant that just had one arcade machine in the back? No, that was like a pub with a fruit machine in it.

Like a slot machine, not a vending machine for fruit. Fuck out of bananas again? What even is the point of this thing? So were arcade machines just not popular in the UK? No, they were, it just didn't live near anything like that. Yeah. It's crazy to me to hear uh sort of like from your generation jeff talking about like 7-eleven being a hangout spot because it had a mortal combat cabinet in it

like that just being a place that people would hang out to play games oh yeah interesting there there was uh not a 7-eleven but in a different era different place when i lived in florida there was a tom thumb is what it was called there and they had golden axe and um altered beast and so like half the kids in town just hung out at the tom thumb taking turns on golden axe and altered beast and that was just like yeah that was your access to video games back then yeah wild yeah let's talk of like discontinued ice cream that just made me remember when did you did you have anything similar to we had it we had a viennetta which was like a i would say it was like an ice cream lasagna thing that you like carve off slices of did

you have anything like this dude i had never seen or heard of the Viennetta before, but my girlfriend grew up with those. So we did have them in America. She said that was like her mom would buy one of those when company would come over. Like that was like the fancy dessert you get when you're having a dinner for like the people in the neighborhood or for your church group or whatever on a Sunday night.

And they would pull out the Viennetta and it would be like a big fucking deal. Yeah, I remember it fondly of like if it's like a Sunday dinner but also some grandparents have also come over that's what a Viennetta gets bought oh that's great I don't remember ever Viennetta for me it was like the McCain deep and delicious cake that was like oh you're at a school event like that is the the official cake of any like adult run event where kids are at always have a cane steep and delicious i don't know if you guys know no i've never heard of it let me see if i can find a photo i feel like uh

i feel like it's been done to death uh it's like been memed to death but while andrew's looking for that this was my version of the viennanetta when I was a kid. We had... Yeah. Is that it? That's it. What Eric just posted. What is that called? It's like a McCain

deep and delicious cake. But it's not ice cream. It's just a cake. It's just a cake, yeah. There wasn't like an ice cream thing. We had, growing up, Fudgy the Whale.

Mm-hmm. Fudgy the Whale's great. Fudgy the Whale was the shit, dude. That was like, if you were lucky if your mom would get you Fudgy the Whale great fudgy the whale was the shit dude that was like if you were you were lucky if your mom would get you fudgy the whale for your birthday oh god that was an ice cream cake right uh-huh yeah it's ice cream cake we have so many possible food gauntlet challenges to do like we've already got crisps ready to go we can easily do ice cream. Oh, fuck cookie puss! I remember cookie puss!

You ever had a cookie puss, Jeff? No, I never had a cookie puss, but I'd see the commercials on TV. What is that? Cookie puss. Cookies for eyes and a cone for a nose? The only reason I know what this is

is there was some Howard Stern fight that he got in with Fred where he was making fun of him buying a cookie puss and a cookie opus for like 15 minutes and fred is seething and it's just howard with a voice changer saying cookie opus over and over again fucking crying thinking about it is the best it's great but like does this look like a it, I feel like it's supposed to look like a cat or like, why would his name be cookie put? I don't know.

It doesn't make sense to me. No whiskers. Yeah. I don't know. I love his little hands. Oh, it looks like a tea towel drawing a child would make. Yeah.

I think Gavin, you see his like, his like smile. And then to the right, there are the two verticals. Those are like little hands sticking out. Those are like little red gloves. How would you eat ice cream cake?

With a fork. No, but what would you put it on? This was a realization I had until very recently. I'd put it in my mouth. Great. Very helpful. Good bit. Where would you put it?

Well, I would always, because it's cake. In my mind, I associate cake as a plate food, so I'd always put ice cream cake on a plate, but then it melts and becomes a mess. I, up until, like, a few months ago, have switched to bowls. Never even occurred to me to use a bowl for anything. Ice cream is always a bowl food.

But it's a cake, so my brain would always put it... No, but at ice cream parties, at kids' parties, it ends up on a little plastic plate. It ends up on a cake, but's but it makes no sense it's a terrible ice cream should never be served on a plate but I that's how I did it hmm I don't think

kids at birthday parties let the ice cream sit long enough to it's gone in like 0.2 seconds you when you're a kid and you get up you get birthday cake and and then if that birthday cake is ice cream

birthday cake it's gone dude it is it's fucking gone there's no opportunity for is ice cream birthday cake it's gone dude it is it's fucking gone there's no opportunity for that ice cream to melt eric's wife won't eat cake and ice cream together why she doesn't like them together she doesn't like ice cream cake she doesn't like if there's cake and ice cream they can't touch uh they have to be separate is she like that with other foods as well not just that not not really i'm sure there's one or two other things probably but by and large no uh but for some reason cake and ice cream is a very contentious thing where she is uh they can't touch they shouldn't ever

touch she'll eat the cake and then she'll eat the ice cream or vice versa they they just shouldn't be together is um her feeling i would recommend that you never dig into that because that kind of trauma comes from something really dark in her life probably it's probably she'd probably better just not left thinking about it see i for me it's a texture thing i could see that just being unpleasant those two textures not mixing so i sponge cake i i agree i think that's what it is. And I'm sorry, Gavin, like plug your ears for a second. But I think it's her. I think it's like a wet bread situation for her.

Ah, yeah. I think that's fair. I think that that like those things are such a perfect pairing texturally for me. I absolutely agree. I totally agree. I'm just I'm speculating on what I think it might be. They're just certain things, though, that you don't like for me, like apples and peanut butter. I hate that, I'm speculating on what I think it might be. There are just certain things though that you don't like for me, like apples and peanut butter.

I hate that, but I love them individually. Do you know if she ever witnessed a murder during a birthday party? Yeah, she was eating cookie puss. And then as she took a bite, a man died. And that,

I think that might be it. It might've been a cookie opus, but I can't be sure. Sorry, what were you saying, Andrew? I don't even remember. I'm just now imagining a cookie opus, but I can't be sure. Sorry, what were you saying, Andrew? I don't even remember. I'm just now imagining a cookie pus murder. I guess we could really narrow down timing here.

You're never getting a cookie opus outside of St. Patrick's Day. Good luck finding one. You don't like apples and peanut butter together? Not together. That's what I was saying. Yeah, thank you. That actually was what I was saying. I don't like them together.

I enjoy them both separately. If I get them on a plate, I'll eat them both individually i will not you'll just like a paste i'll just eat peanut butter by itself yeah and i'll eat the apples by themselves but you would never dip an apple slice i've tried like i've had it and i just don't i don't like it but i like them both individually a lot. How about caramel? Will you ever dip your apple in caramel? Yeah. So it's not like a consistency thing. It's more just a combination of flavors.

Yeah, I don't know why. It's the taste doesn't blend for me. Hey, man, that's fair. That's fair. I get that. I had a babysitter when I was a kid who was obsessed with eating peanut butter with Cheerios in it, and that's the only snack she would make me because it was the only snack she knew how to make.

And she would just sit there and watch MTV and make me eat Cheerios and peanut butter. And she thought it was the best thing ever. What? So how would that work? She would dump a bunch of peanut butter in a bowl and then pour Cheerios on top of it and then give me a spoon. That's a terrible treat. And then she would eat it too.

And it wasn't like a torture because she was eating it too. Did you like it? It doesn't sound that bad, actually. Well, what type of Cheerios? Are we talking like a Honey Nut? Are we talking a base Cheerio? This is like 1986.

So we're talking straight ass Cheerios. Okay. I'll eat Cheerios and peanut butter from time to time. I just think it's insane to say that she made it for you and that it's the only thing she knew how to make. Yeah, this is all I can get. Peanut butter and Cheerios. Nothing's being made.

So wait, you eat that? Do I? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You get like a spoonful of peanut butter and like, not like full, but like a little bit of peanut butter and then like some Cheerios.

It's like a nice, like little quick snack. Not like full, but like a little bit of peanut butter and then like some Cheerios. It's like a nice little quick snack. You and my babysitter in 1986 are the only people I've ever met that participate in that. Well, we're both chefs. I have no idea. What is the base Cheerio?

Is it the one with the different types? What's the one with like three different Cheerio types? You think the base Cheerio is the one with three different Cheerios in it? So wait, that's... Because I only remember that one and Honey Nut Cheerio. What were the three flavors? I'm not even familiar with what that is. What are you talking about?

There's like the white Cheerio and there's like the brown one. Excuse me? You're asking... Again, you're asking if the base cheerio is three different kinds of cheerios? This motherfucker- That was like the bog standard cheerio. This song was like, Cheerio- Cheerio, it's cheery corn.

What? What's- What's Polly about? What's happening? You are rolling in snack attack once again like it's an experience we all have this is some crazy british shit what are you talking about hold on cheerios i was wondering i haven't seen him in a while yeah something's up there cheerios cheerios so good to eat That was the song Cheerios so good

Now let me find a Gavin Okay Gavin Jeff you've been around longer than all of us Have you ever heard the Cheerios song? No No no no I've also never heard of white

What was it? White and wheat Cheerios? Did you call one of them Cheery Oats? Something like that He did Like this is vlog standard Cheerios Right here Oh I think That's it That's Cheerios Did you call one of them cheery oats? Something like that. He did.

Like, this is vlog standard Cheerios right here. Oh, I think I found... That's Cheerios. Doesn't tell... By the way... Here we go. Yeah, look. Look at this. Look at this freaking ad.

It wasn't oats. I don't think it was cheery wheat. I'm watching this. Cheery wheat? It was. What? This is... Nutritious.

What is oats? They're not oats. They're delicious. This is trying to be so american dude what but you guys are this is the uk trying to be so american by eating non-american cheerios so i think they're all the same but they've they just listed the four things. So maybe that's why. No, I don't think so, dude, because they, those are different colors in the,

yeah, they were definitely different colors. Yeah. So to me, that's the bog standard Cheerio. And then you've got the honey nut Cheerios. So what you just had like Cheerios. I put the picture above it. You see like the,

when they show like the four colors and there's like the really beige one, that's Cheerios. That's Cheerios? I put the picture above it. You see when they show the four colors and there's the really beige one? That's Cheerios. That's Cheerios. It's just plain-ass Cheerios. What you're describing, we have a version of that in America. It's called Chex. There's rice Chex and corn Chex and wheat Chex,

and there's no bog standard Chex because they're all different flavors. But yeah, Cheerios is just, it's just that yellow-ass box that's above it right there those those strawberries in the bowl those don't come with it those are add-ons there's so many of these that's must be why i remember the song is because that was well i kind of barely remembered the song but i just remember there was a song because it was there's so many different years where they played that sort of shit. These are terrible.

It is very American. Corn, rice, oats, wheat. I can't even find that product. It's all like amber waves of grain and people jumping in a lake. Yeah. Throwing water on each other out of buckets and shit. Wow.

We just had such similar but different lives. Cheerios commercial I remember when I was a kid. Let's see this. Toasted oat cereal. Oh, this is cool. Yours was animated? Yeah, it's Jack and the Beanstalk. Oh, it went into his bicep.

Like a toast. Boom! That's the shit right there. Andrew, how do they advertise Cheerios in Canada? What's the Canadian Cheerio? I don't remember. I just feel like it was kids eating cereal. I don't think we had animation or a cool song.

I don't remember anything like that. Canadian Cheerios commercial. I'm looking. Oh, here we go. Canadian ad Cheeriosios i stepped away from cheerios knowing the ingredients here i have not seen this this is just a oh no as a canadian canadian ad oh no this is so fucking bland yeah like cheerios like canada like canadians must be the most patient people in the world. Cause my God, that was just like the slowest commercial I've ever seen in my life. It's just a 30 second seminar on why Cheerios don't have any flavor.

Yeah. That one's definitely marketed at the moms, not the kids. Yeah. I like the final five seconds. So we got to do something. Explode the fucking box. Let's have them all fall in the milk at once. Like did anything we need anything this stinks it's like michael mixed to her at the

end a bunch of cheerios just fly into that woman's bicep it's like they had michael bay for two seconds of footage like that's all they could book well i think I think it was Stanley Kubrick for the first half. Do you want to know how many times it took for them to pour that bowl of cereal? 800 takes. I got to be honest. After watching the three, I feel a little ripped off. I think you had so many flavors in your Cheerios. Yeah.

I want to try British Cheerios now. I want to hear from other people from England because I may have just missed it. But was there a bog standard plain single Cheerio that wasn't Honey Nut? Do let me know in the comments. Become a comment lever if you feel like this is worth doing so. I'm excited.

It's going to have to happen eventually. It might as well be about Cheerios. It's true. Well, we're all... It's like infection in Halo. We're all going to get infected as a comment lever at some point. So you might as well just about Cheerios. It's true. Well, we're all, it's like infection in Halo. We're all going to get infected as a comment lever at some point, so you might as well just accept it. We should start selling like comment lever care packages, like a little relief package

for when you finally make the decision. Do you remember, we talked about a long, long time ago, having an official face apology basket that we gave to people. Yeah, the guilt basket. Yeah, the guilt basket. We got to get on that. We really do need to design and build a physical guilt basket

that we can give out to people. I think that'd be very funny. I'll start on the basket. And it would have, I got to think it's got British Cheerios in it. Like a little travel size British Cheerios.

Did you guys have that in England? Did you have like the little one size like one portion size? Yeah. It had all the different types of Kellogg's. Yeah, you had like Frosted Flakes. And no one ever ate the Ricicles. Ricicles? Nobody knows what you're talking about.

How do we keep getting so close and then you say something that's so like fucking bizarre it just stops the focus? You never had rice-icles? Oh! Are you talking about Rice Krispies? It has to be. We had Rice Krispies, but we also had...

What the fuck? Rice-icles? It's just, I'm looking at it, it's a Rice Krispie. No, no, you're wrong. It isn't. And this will be a part of our cereal gauntlet. How is it different? They look identical.

They're more like... They're definitely different. They don't taste anything like Rice Krispies. Captain Rick? This is wild. But anyway, in the big multi-pack, it would always be like people will be scarfing down the crunchy nut and the cocoa pops, but Rice-icles would always be left in the be scarfing down the crunchy nut and the Cocoa Pops, but rice-icles

would always be left in the end of the bag. So they're just not good? I just don't think it was anyone's favorite. The Frosties would be sucked down immediately. I assume that's Frosted Flakes. Frosties. Yeah, it's Frosties for us. Oh, yeah. Did you guys have Tony the Tiger? You did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Do you guys call him Tony the Tiger or did he have a different name in England? No, he was Tony tiger he's probably like anthony he's not like anthony the hero or anything what the fuck's a honey loop i don't know i think this is a more a modern version because i don't remember multi-grain shapes or honey loops i remember icicles being in there though huh honey loop is that like a honey oh dude i don't know oh yeah it does it looks just like a honey oh okay except honey is a post food podcast we're a breakfast food podcast all right you got your wheat toes and your shreddies and and your crunchy. You say shit like it's real, and it's the most insane stuff I've ever heard.

It's real. Weedos and shreddies. Shreddies look like chicks. And then you got your Weetabix and your shredded wheat. It's all in there. It's all good. Special K, just right. This is insane.

I'm just looking through cereal on Google Images and I don't know what's real or what's fake and I don't know what you know. This is just terrible. The fuck is pep? Rice Chex. God, it's so wild. Crunchy nut must be honey bunches of oats. Don't even get me started on the Milky Way.

Oh, that's right. That's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. And Smarties. And Milky Way. Oh, that's right. That's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. And Smarties. And Smarties. Yeah, I have those. That's also Canadian. Which one? Smarties and Milky Way, I believe. Which one do you have?

Which one's Smartie? The chocolate. Smarties are chocolate to me, and what you guys Americans call Smarties, we call rockets. Was Tony the Tiger the mascot for Ricicles? What's this betrayal? No, wait wait it says frosties on the side yeah then why is it say riceicles on the front

well I'll be honest Eric it looks like someone's taped that on okay yeah I've never seen that box that's a little bit before my time that was wrong wait what did he get promoted from ricicles to frosties the career progression of tony the tiger was he a ricicles guy this is blowing my mind insane he definitely he's definitely grown he looks a lot different today than he did in 1977. I wonder if bicycles were as great as Frosty's or if he had a different catchphrase.

What is happening? Tony the Tiger, 1977. There was a kangaroo? Katie the Kangaroo. Is this like Australian Frosty's had a kangaroo? Or did they swap? I feel unwell. I think it sounds like the kangaroo got fired

they promoted tony up yeah and then they hired rick to take over icicles so i'm reading the history they had other characters named ammo the elephant and newt the the new within the year the other mascots were dropped with elmo and newt never once graced the front of the box they were never used tony was given a son? Tony Jr.? Tony has a kid? Yeah, Tony has a kid. There's a small tiger. I didn't know that. Does he also work on Frosties? I'm trying to...

There he is. Good God. We're a serial history podcast. Do you guys have Golden Crisp then? Post a picture of that. It might have a different name. Like, can't get enough of Super Golden Crisp. It's got crunch with punch.

It's got like a really cool bear. Yeah, that's him right there. The Golden Crisp. I can't see any of the cereal. Oh, Honey Smacks looks like Sugar Puffs with the Honey Monster. I'm sorry, the what? The Honey Monster.

What? The Honey monster? Yeah, you ever have sugar puffs? Hold on. I don't know what a honey monster is. I'll show you. The honey monster was the mask. Oh, shit.

What the fuck? Is this real? Yes. That's sugar puffs. And the honey monster would be like, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. No. I don't want to see. The honey monster is a fever dream. That's- that's Sugar a part of my life. You're just laughing at the honey monster. We need to end this.

How did you sleep at night as a kid? Is that him and James Bond? This is fucking terrific. That's a British icon you're talking about right there. How did he sleep at night? Why, he slept with the honey monster, of course. Honestly, like, a sugar puff was so gross. If you got one just mildly wet,

you could just, like, wet your hand and put your hand in the bowl and they would all stick to you. Like, the sugar would immediately stick. It was the stickiest cereal. Oh, man. Okay, we should end, but here's the last picture. Oh, God.

That's our fucking... That's the cover to this album. Good Lord. All right, well, we gotta... This could go on literally for hours because I have a bunch of new... I have like 20 other cereals queued up to check out. So we should probably stop while we're ahead. I will just say, though, like 20 other cereals queued up to check out. So we should probably stop over ahead.

I will just say, though, Super Golden Crisp was fucking awesome. And Sugar Bear was a good mascot. I still know. They renamed Sugar Puffs, I guess, because they're trying to get sugar out of the name because no one's buying it. Now they're called Honey Monster Puffs. Oh, my God, that's worse. That's so much worse.

Yeah, that's not a good change. I didn't actually know that. Oh Oh my God. That's worse. That's so much worse. Yeah. That's not a good change. I didn't actually know that. Oh my God. Okay. Did someone end? Well, yeah.

Thanks. Uh, thanks for tuning in to episode 115 of, the breakfast cereal podcast. Uh, hope you learned a little something about the differences in cultures yet. Yeah. We're still able to come together even across

oceans of water and wildly disparate serial mascots. It is... I'm going to be thinking about... What is this guy's name again? The Honey Monster.

Honey Monster? Yeah. That's just gross. Alright, well, see you next time. What is Jack going to do with this chat? Monster. Honey Monster? Yeah. That's just gross. All right. Well, see you next time. What is Jack going to do with this chat? Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Someone is three hours late.

It's the most dangerous episode ever. We need some gloves. What is the worst Cheetos flavor? Jeff is all kinds of swollen. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.