F**kface - Donkey Kong 65 // In This Economy? [65]
Episode Date: August 6, 2025Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Rob Zombie, banana desire, Dunston Checks Out, Gavin tasks, Grounded 2, the pinball machine, cleaning the office, dismantling the auction item, cardboard mountain, l...ive music, the flattest sandwich, Andrew's mom's ankle, Happy Gilmore 2, CBS, Shauhin Davari, calendar issues, Carla Gugino, reject the cookies, favorite cookies, soft bacon, grilling, and final dog count. Sponsored by ZocDoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/regulation and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. #sponsored Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.
This is number 65.
My name is Jeff Ramsey with me, as always, Andrew Bant and Gavin Free, Nick Schwartz, Eric Badoor.
Hello, boys.
Hello.
What's the best 65 thing?
If you get a 65 of anything, what would be the best 65 thing?
That isn't just like gold bars.
Isn't there a like Thunder Kiss 65 or something?
It's like a Rob Zombie song.
Is there?
I don't know anything.
I only know Rob Zombie's film career.
I couldn't tell you
anything about his music.
You
that's honestly
honestly if you told him that
I think he would be like thrilled
I think he would be so stoked on that
he was like
well
let's let's avoid my opinions
on 90% of his work
but yeah I was about to say
which mediocre lane
do you want to do you want to go in there with him
I enjoyed the devil's rejects
but like everything else is
I liked one shot of that
movie. That was about it. I like Walton
Goggins in the first movie. He's good.
Yeah. Walton Goggins was cool.
He's great. I mean, he's great and everything.
65, though.
I am...
What would you not... I wouldn't want
65... I was trying to think 65 frogs,
but I think I wouldn't want 65 frogs.
That'd be too many frogs.
See, my first thing was bananas. I wouldn't want
65 bananas, but I've been playing a lot of Donkey Kong,
so I feel like that goes against
my current want. It's weird.
I don't like bananas, but I feel it is
desire to have bananas right now.
And in my head, it's a sequel to Donkey Kong 64.
So it is, in fact, Donkey Kong 65.
Oh, Donkey Kong 65.
Honestly, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Also, that's the first half of the title for this episode is Donkey Kong 65.
I'm really excited about that.
Trixie was dual wielding back then.
What are we going to do for the sequel?
What are we going to promote?
It's the big new thing.
Tri-wielding, quad-wielding?
Deca-wield.
Deca-weal.
Well, they are, they're monkeys.
They can hold guns in their.
their feet.
They get on their tail.
A tail gun.
Yeah.
Could a chimp hold five guns if it used all legs and a tail?
No.
No, chimp doesn't have a tail.
Oh, wait.
Well, does it not?
Does Chimsy not have a tail?
That's a good point.
They just got those red arses, don't they?
Or is that a different?
That's a baboon.
See the backside of a lot of these primates, I get all tangled up at each other.
You're telling me, you're telling me you want one of these guys to hold a
He got no tail, dude.
I could hold four guns, though.
He can, but you said five with a tail.
Yeah, well, I'm redacting tail
because I was clearly thinking
of some sort of spider monkey or something.
Maybe a mouth gun.
Oh, could have a mouth gun.
A mouth gun.
I've never seen a mouth gun.
I'm thinking of all the guns I've seen.
I've never seen a mouth gun.
I'm going to show you a picture
this monkey.
I just dropped a monkey pick in there.
That's a monkey holding five guns.
That's a five gun monkey right there.
That's a five gun monkey right there.
That's a five-gun monkey.
That monkey's got a five-star wanted reigning.
I think if there was a sequel to Dunstan checks in,
there would have been a scene where Rupert Everett holds Dunstan out of a car window
and he's holding four guns.
Hell yeah.
Dunstan checks out.
Yeah.
He's got to fight his way through every floor of the hotel.
It's like the reverse raid.
That's the radio.
It's backwards raid.
He's in the penthouse and he's trying to leave.
Oh, that'd be awesome.
Have they not done a reverse raid?
What do you do it, Dunstan?
Check it out.
I guess the professional is kind of the reverse raid.
That's essentially the same.
The last act in that movie.
I think maybe the raid is the reverse professional.
Oh!
It's got old Natalie Portman.
Full circle.
Wow.
I'm glad we're back.
We're back.
Didn't expect to start the day off with monkey guns, but I'm glad we.
did. It's been a minute since we've recorded. Do we have, does anybody have anything pressing
that they want to go over? I know we've got, I've got a billion notes, but a lot of them
are related to other, to y'all directly. Andrew assigned to me some work while I was
briefly in San Francisco. I did? Oh. Yeah. I was giving you shit for not being present. I don't
remember this. What did I do? Not being present. Oh, promotion?
Was it promotion? No, no, you actually, you gave me a lot of shit about a lot of things.
the task you gave me. But I'm on your side. I flew back from England and I went to San
Francisco for an event and I woke up. It was one of those waking ups where I don't really
know where I am. So looking around being like what, what police am I figured it out, looked at a text
from Andrew saying, hey, can you make me a grounded two thumbnail? Oh yeah. This happens all the time,
but continue. So I made it and I don't think he appreciated it. Oh, I loved it. I thought it was fantastic.
He didn't use it or anything.
What, though?
No, we're going to use that in the future.
Okay.
We are, yeah, probably for this episode.
It's amazing that this hasn't happened before.
If I'm texting both of you things simultaneously,
there are times, and it hasn't got noticed yet,
where I am talking to one of you thinking I'm talking to the other.
It has happened several times.
So what you're saying is Gavin and I are essentially interchangeable to you?
Something about, I think you guys,
both have the same color logo thing on my phone and it's both G's.
So there are definite times where I'll get a text and I'll go like, this is an odd text
from Gavin and then I'll realize later.
Oh, it's Jeff.
Okay.
Or the other way.
But yeah, I've definitely talked to you guys via text thinking I was talking to the other person.
So I came up with that with like one eye half shut from sleep still, but it's great.
I feel like I was there for you just in case.
Yeah, I really appreciated it.
That's a master artwork right there.
I feel stupid for making the other thumbnail
because I didn't know Gavin made this one.
Well, I, you know, I figured this could be used
whatever.
This is a classic thumbnail.
This is timeless art.
Maybe that's, maybe that is our official,
like if I'm out of town and there's nobody to make the thumbnail,
that's our placeholder thumbnail for stuff.
That's like our technical difficulty thumbnail.
I like it.
Yeah, we could just write over it like it's the Da Vinci or,
Decaprio canvas.
It'll be like your canvas whenever you show us a drawing
and you've got like the mind table scribbled out.
Just cross out the whole.
Yeah.
You just keep putting new things in.
Until it runs out of his face.
I like that idea.
Pressing, though.
And I don't think I have anything too pressing.
What about you, Jeff?
Oh, man, I got like four episodes worth of notes here.
We've been busy.
We could talk office.
We could talk Sunday swims and the 500 ideas we came up with.
We could talk pinball machines.
We could talk flat sandwiches.
Can you, can we talk, can we talk pinball machine first?
Because I'm so, I just, I'm so confused by it still.
And Nick saw it for the first time today.
Oh, did you know, is that Nick?
Nope.
Scared the shit out of me.
It spooked all of us.
I think we've all been surprised differently.
No one, no one has said anything to anyone about.
Which is like, I think that says a lot for us where it's like, this must be a surprise for an episode that I'm not, I don't want to be the one to spoil.
So no one said anything and it has just led to so much confusion.
When Emily took me in to see it initially at like 9 o'clock at night, she came up with some bullshit excuse about how she needed some tool that I'd left at the office.
So I had to drive her there because she was like setting up a pearl set or something.
And I walked in and I saw it and I looked at her and I said,
Am I supposed to see this?
Am I supposed to know about this?
She's like, it's for you, idiot, yes!
I'm taking you to see it.
We all have the exact same reaction.
We're like, am I supposed to be looking at this right now?
Should I pretend like I haven't seen it?
I actually said that to her.
I was like, should I pretend like I didn't see this just now?
You looked up.
Yeah, I locked.
I froze.
So you should give context as to why this pinball machine exists.
Well.
Well.
Well, well, well.
Gabdi, you want to go?
When we were in Vegas, we went to the pinball museum.
And, you know, I'm into pinball, but no one else really is.
So we were walking around.
And then Jeff all of a sudden said, oh shit, this is like one of the first ones I played when I was younger.
And it was this pinball game I've never heard of called Earth Shaker.
And I thought it'd be really funny with Jeff's birthday coming up if I got him the pinball machine just without saying anything at all.
And I was looking online.
And it is not a popular game.
incredibly cheap for such a giant object.
And I love it when gifts are both wholesome and burdensome.
So now you're stuck with this massive thing.
And I feel like it was the perfect gift on the 20th year that I've known, Jeff Ramsey.
It was the most heartfelt gift to tell, to, to, I can't even tell you what it felt like to walk in and see it.
This is a pinball machine.
It's the only pinball machine that I remember from my youth.
It was at the bowling alley where I would go when I was, you know, back in my bowling league days.
And so anytime I had extra money, I would play it.
It's basically like a dude in a convertible and a chick driving on the interstate in California.
And then there's an earthquake in California and Nevada split apart and everything goes fucking nuts.
It's an awesome, awesome, criminally underrated.
I can't believe it's not in higher demand.
pinball machine and I genuinely loved it
and so when I walked in
there's fucking nowhere to put it in my house
so obviously
and so Meg Gavin was like
out of town and Gavin I think was out of town
so Meg had to deal with this by herself
so they had it delivered to the office
but the people would only bring it
into the building
and so it's you open up the front door
the front door almost hits it
it's like immediately in front of you
there was a delay with the freight shipping
It was going to arrive exactly a week earlier.
And then I figured I would come up with some fake reason for us to go to the office for no reason.
But it ended up arriving when both Jeff and I were in different states.
So unfortunately, Meg had to meet these dudes who wanted nothing to do with putting it in the house.
They were like, oh, it's, there's no note here that it's going to go up some stairs.
Because there's like, there's some stairs up to the door.
and she was like, oh, what do we do?
And they were like, oh, we could just leave it on the road
by the side of the road.
Or it's $300 per step.
Oh, my God.
Which would have made the lifting of the pinball machine
into the room more expensive
than both the pinball
and the freight shipping combined.
But eventually, she was able to prove
that I'd already mentioned there were stairs
and I was, uh, we were able to get it in.
But I was, I felt extremely bad that I wasn't there to,
to help in any way.
And then it was just in front of the front door.
It has made it.
Three feet from the front door.
It is three feet from the front fucking, you walk in and there's a pinball machine.
It's the new coffee table.
It's where the coffee table used to be.
It seems like, it seemed like the funniest place to leave it there.
it is it definitely is
it's getting used to
Gavin came over and fixed it
well that's in brilliant soldering
because one of the wires was broken
and this was a funny thing
where the pinball machine
worked flawlessly
but anytime you had
you got a multi ball
which is kind of the point
you had to go in under it
and Eric figured out
how to manually trigger it
because that that wire
had broken off
so you were just like shoving the plunger
so you would just shove the plunger
to pop it out
but you could also
very easily electrocute yourself in there
because everything in there.
You can close the circuit.
Yeah, you can close the circuit pretty easy.
I electrocated the shit on myself
like four times playing that game.
Gavin came and fixed that no more electrocution.
There's a feature on modern pinball games
where when you turn the key and open the door,
it turns off all the high voltage in the machine.
And this pinball is from the late 80s.
Yeah.
It does not have that feature.
Did not have that.
That's wild.
It's a really fun machine.
Like this is like, that's like classic pinball.
Like it's so good.
I really, really love it.
We have to move it.
It cannot keep being here.
It can't.
We either need to move it against the wall or to another part of the house.
Because it cannot be here anymore.
I can't.
Completely agree, Eric.
And once we have enough hefty boys in the building, we can move it.
It was just been you and me lately.
So, uh, dude, speak about you, you and me lately. That was yesterday. And we got, that's the,
we busted our asses yesterday. That sucked. I, I say without exaggeration, yesterday was the
hardest I've worked in the last year. Oh my God. Easily. Easily. We, we went and rented
U-Haul, and we drove to Eric's house. At Eric's house, we picked up the item that we received
from the celebrity
movie auction.
When can we talk about this thing?
When can we?
When can we?
Why are we not letting us talk about something
that we bought?
Ask Andrew.
No, we can talk about it.
I don't know if we wanted to do
a bigger reveal for it.
I don't know if we had a video idea,
but things have been crazy.
People have been gone for weeks.
It has not been easy to schedule things.
But I have no issue of talking about it.
It just hasn't been ideal
to make something with it yet.
it would be cool to do it as a reveal
but I don't have any ideas for reveals
anybody else I'd try an idea
yeah I had an idea
it made more sense at our anniversary
when there was a time in which we thought
maybe it would get there but
oh yeah yeah yeah
no I have an idea
okay so we'll just keep it vague for now
then I was a fan of this podcast
I would be so fucking mad at us
we got this item we got this item from the movie
kind of like we got the
the snake eyes costume and the
tuxedo, Jackie Chan Tuxedo.
It's kind of the evolution, the next
thing in our, I guess our grand
museum of oddities. And it's
awesome, but it's big and bulky and
heavy. And so Eric and I rented a 15-foot
U-Haul Supermover, as they say.
Thought it was overkill. Absolutely was not
overkill because we 100% filled that thing up.
Anyway, we go to his house
and we pick up the item.
And I say pick up. I mean,
we bust our asses to get in that thing into the U-Haul hit it because it's fucking heavy.
We took the item apart.
Well, eventually we had to take it apart, but we got it into the U-Haul fully formed.
And then like some old shit that Eric had that he wanted to throw away to, just because we were in his garage.
And then we came back to the office and we wanted to put it into the room that's full of cardboard.
We have a room in the building that is full of cardboard.
Imagine every piece of cardboard a company goes through
when they build out a location
and they buy every single item from scratch.
We had so much cardboard thrown and stacked into the room
that it reached the ceiling, right?
And that happens to be the only room
that we can put this item in.
So Eric and I pulled all of the cardboard out,
put it like in the driveway.
Then we wrenched this thing out of the U-Haul
and try to slam it in through the door
and no matter how we bend and push it and twist it,
we cannot get it through the door.
There's no way to get it through the door,
so we had to disassemble it,
which was scary because we were afraid
we were breaking something from a film, you know?
Sure.
Weren't jazzed about doing that.
And also, Eric and I aren't the handiest dudes on earth either,
but we got the thing taken apart, eventually, got it into the building,
rebuilt it, got it set up,
and it's working.
So, just real quick,
we're not the handiest guys in the world.
It's true.
You need to see what it is,
how this thing is built
and what it is exactly
to realize that it doesn't fucking matter
that we're not the handiest guys in the world
because it is held together
with screws and wishes.
Yeah.
It's definitely,
it was definitely built to be used once
and thrown away.
For sure.
But unfortunately for it, we're the trash can.
So anyway, at this point, I'll be honest, I'm about done.
Like, I'm fucking exhausted.
Just getting that thing in the building felt like a full day of work.
And we just had Mount Kilimanjaro of cardboard in the driveway.
And so then we took all of the cardboard and styrofoam and every piece of disc,
carded whatever from building out the office and we threw it in the back of this 15-foot
uh uh you haul it reached the ceiling in the you hall eric took a photo he can upload that
maybe into the discord chat so you can see it and uh i will say this is after we had
started unloading we didn't think to take a photo when it was fully full so it's uh it's maybe
10 minutes into the unload at this point of like maybe it took about 40 minutes to unload it
Anyway, we fill
the thing up
and it goes
15 feet back, dude.
So much cardboard.
So bad.
And this is after we've cleared out a good portion of it.
We drive across town to this
recycling place that I found online
that I was able to make an appointment at.
And then we just very slowly
took out every piece of cardboard
and gave it to some dude who just looked
at us like he fucking
hated us. And then he stuck
it in a machine. I tried to joke around with them. Jeff was trying to make small. I tried so hard to
make small time. He never acknowledged me. He just looked to me dead in the eyes and just absorbed
anything I said to him like it bounced off of him. And it was humbling. But anyway,
and we were there for probably 45 minutes, just separating the different kinds of recycling and
giving it to the people so that they could destroy it or move it. By the time, and then we had to go
back and return the U-Haul. And I think that took us about five hours of just in 100 degrees,
just straight fucking lifting and shoving. And you'd be amazed how heavy cardboard gets after a couple
hours. I'm going to guess that at no point did you close the shutter of the U-Haul with someone
inside and then just like do donuts. No, but we almost left without closing it at all, which
would have been, I mean, I think we definitely could have done that, Gavin. I mean, the U-Hawks.
had a third seat and we were texting someone to see if they wanted to come and help and play
but um they didn't want to so it was just me and jeff all day i uh by the time i was free i
texted to the group well just you two as a group uh yeah i'm free you guys done and you just
went yep we were we're pretty defeated we the man the amount of manual labor that we did was
like it was so fucked just putting cardboard in that thing and then it all kept falling towards like
further to like the back so one of us would have to get in and move it climb to the top of card
to the front and then we get there and unloading it and sorting it and doing it and then here's
the problem with me and Jeff is that the initial idea was okay we're gonna we're gonna take all
this cardboard we're just going to go to a bunch of dumpsters we're just going to put a bunch of
dumpsters and no one will know and it'll be fine and we'll just find a bunch of dumpsters
And then Jeff was like, oh, I found a recycling center that we'll just simply take all the cardboard.
We were so proud of ourselves for doing it the right way that we kept talking about it.
We talked about it for 10 minutes after this, about how nice it was to do it the right way.
I've never congratulated myself and someone else so much in my life.
We were so proud of ourselves for doing it the right way and saving ourselves so many hours of dumpster tossing.
hiding behind buildings and you know what I mean because that's that was totally where it was headed
but then once we saw how much cardboard it was we were like there's just no way it's just no way
this can't be a stealth mission it's impossible yeah imagine if you found halo wars your dumpster
diamond finally i assumed it wasn't fun because of the heat but i love days like that like
the day we just got a u-hall and like we're doing the porta potty and like moving stuff all around out of the
office.
Oh, you would have loved yesterday, dude.
We had so much fun.
It sucks so bad.
But we also spent a lot of time congratulating ourselves on all the heavy lifting that
we did and all the, like, thankless grunt work we were doing.
Eric and I were pretty high on Eric and I yesterday.
Oh, that was, no one was bigger fans of us than us yesterday, man.
It was great.
But we got that room.
We got that room cleared out.
Looks good in the house, man.
You've both had, like, manual labor jobs there, right, in the past?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
Yeah, a long time ago.
Oh, I see.
Just like, I'm like almost 40.
I haven't had a job like that since I was like in my 20s.
I know I may project a timeless youth, but I am a half a century old.
I am older than all of your parents at this point, listening to this podcast.
So the pinball movers were $300 per step.
What would your guys fee be for per step?
Incalculable.
Yeah, we went up and down a lot of steps.
I imagine.
lot of, you know, there are a lot of steps. You don't, you know, they just add up and then
climbing in and out of that U-Haul that adds up and having to climb in and out of
the U-hall again to get all the stuff out. Oh man.
Imagine a room so full of cardboard that just the act of removing the cardboard from that
room takes 30 full minutes. I've never seen so much cardboard in my life. And we didn't buy
that much shit, did we? I guess we did. We did. The problem was like a lot of it was
broken down too thanks to Emily she did a great job uh it was broken down it was great a lot of it
wasn't it took us half an hour to move half of it out of the room so we could get the huge auction item
in which took another half hour to disassemble and reassemble and then we had to put all of the
cardboard that was in the driveway in the truck and then had to get the other half of the cardboard
out of the house it was like dude it felt endless and when you walked in when you every time you
walked in from outside you would just go we got to be you
getting close. You're not. It's Sisyphysian. It was so bad. It sucked.
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Anyway, the office is fucking
humming along though.
We got our trash can built.
I got curtains hung in the break room.
We ran the video and everything.
All the tech for the break room.
We're just waiting on doing the sound
with Nick now that he's back.
We'll be ready to go on that show
and probably two weeks from this recording,
I don't know,
that we'll release it in two weeks,
but we're just,
we're like,
I would say this Death Star
is like 94% operational.
We're the Death Star?
Yeah, why not?
Because I'd like to be the good guys.
We point our laser beam of comedy
at the universe.
Take that, Alderon, aka the listeners.
Alderan was just a metaphor for misery.
And by shooting it with our comedy,
Death Star, Ray,
we're blowing up their sadness.
So where's our weakness hole in the office?
That's what I was about to say.
Imagine if there's a weakness hole in the pinball machine.
Like a really hard spot,
but if the ball went into a certain area,
the whole office just collapses.
I think it's where it kept electrocuting me
when I was trying to.
For a guy that hates pinball, Eric,
you've played quite a lot of this one.
I love free play.
Oh, free play pinball.
If I had to pay for the pinball
that I played today before
we started this, oh, baby, oh, baby, I would have been furious and slamming the machine to get my
money back. Yeah, that's fair. There are plenty of things I enjoy when I don't have to pay for
them. Live music. Like what? Live music is one. I'm zero interest in paying for a ticket to a
concert, but when I hear live music, I'm always like, huh? I feel like if I hear live music I didn't
pay for, it annoys me. No, I love some live music. I did.
pay for. It's free. It's free music. In this economy, I'll take any savings I could get.
But it's not going to be someone you're interested in, surely. That's not true. I've encountered
many of, uh, unexpected live performances that I've enjoyed. In the Nimo? Yeah. No, in Austin.
Where are you, uh, what do you? Well, I just didn't, do people come over, do performances in that
town? Well, you can do, you know, there are public spaces. It's a music free environment.
Yeah, we're working on.
It's illegal.
It's like footloose.
There's no dancing, no music.
Yeah, we had the footloose rules up until like 2018.
So it's become real musical since then.
People have to go crazy.
Because to be honest, when I was snooping around in Imo
to try and pick a building that you had to identify on Google Maps,
I didn't really see a lot of.
I didn't see a lot of good venues.
Well, when I say venue, well, we do have one great venue downtown.
There are a few like decent venues,
but I'm talking about on the streets,
people playing music.
Like public spaces.
Busker style.
Some busker style but also there's like a jazz festival
and like a rock like music festivals that occur throughout the summer
where people will just play in sort of
hubs that people visit.
Like the downtown core or just various places where
you can just hear people playing music if you're in the area.
It's always nice.
I enjoy some unexpected live music.
What else do you like this better when it's free?
oh what's better when it's free i mean most things are better when it's free uh but like that i dislike
when i'm paying for it um hmm i think most food gets elevated there's food i don't like that
if given to me for free i think would become it it elevates not to a point in which i'd like it
but it would be edible what's what something you're insane no here's the thing
I would be so fucking mad.
Here's a list of stuff I still don't like if it's free.
I'm right there with Andrew.
I just did a thing on Saul right about like discontinued sodas.
And I told a story about how there was this soda called Josta in the 90s
that they were giving away when I was living in South Carolina.
And my friends and I got like 40 of them because they were free.
And we drank it all summer.
It was the grossest thing ever.
And I would never have paid 30 cents for it.
But for free, I drank it all day long.
Yeah.
For me, it's cauliflower.
If someone forced me to pay.
for cauliflower. I'd be fucking furious. I'd be so upset. But if I'm at like a dinner and someone's
like, oh, I made this cauliflower dish, I can eat. I'll be like, yeah, this is edible. So if you
have the choice between a $5 meal of something you enjoy and a free cauliflower, you would go
for that? Oh. What? Hmm. See, it becomes a, it becomes a dilemma of value because like,
what's the meal? Oh, what's the $5 meal? Yeah.
What do you like?
It's a chicken.
It's a chicken meal.
It's a chicken.
Oh, that sounds pretty good.
$5 for a chicken meal in this economy?
It's a chicken sandwich.
Oh, I'm taking the chicken sandwich.
I've never heard Andrew say in this economy before, and he said it like four times in this.
We're living in this economy, Eric.
The chicken prices are crazy.
What was the last time you paid five bucks for a chicken sandwich?
Oh, my God.
That's like a $9 sandwich in any fast food.
restaurant you go to today. You can't even get
half a foot long for $5.
You can find $5 anything. I'm buying it.
Yeah. Oh, speaking of
footlong,
uh, me and Jeff and
Gavin had, uh,
we had a lot of, we had a lot of fun
on, what was it? Was it Monday?
Tuesday maybe? Yeah.
Yeah, we did it. Yeah, we had a pretty good,
we had a pretty good time with a, with a couple
of sandwiches. So Eric or I, I can't remember who found it
initially over the weekend saw TikTok
of some dude who had a subway sandwich
and fell on it like he tripped and fell
and he was just you don't see him fall
you just see the aftermath he opens it up
and it's a perfectly flat like sandwich
like a like a cartoon steamroller drove over it
it's impossibly flat for a sub sandwich
like under a centimeter and so yeah under a centimeter
there you go so when we were hanging out Sunday
having a boat day we got to talking about it
and we decided to have a contest
to see who could flatten a sandwich the most
and so we got together on Tuesday
and we all
we went and we all got the same
I almost said
we all rented the same sandwich
we all went and we bought
the same subway turkey sandwich
we should have returned those subway
sandwich I guess I had
I guess I had U-Haul
in the brain still
they were very close to each other
the U-Haul in the subway
they're on the same street
and we bought
we bought three identical sub sandwiches
and then we filmed the video
to see who could flatten it the most
And there was a clear winner, but obviously we can't spoil it.
Yeah, we'll have that video.
I think the video might be out right now.
Yeah, can we just stick it up?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, we'll put it out tomorrow if someone decides to edit it.
Yeah, I'll do it.
I have an idea for it.
Besides to edit.
I don't know.
It's supposed to go out tomorrow.
It's supposed to?
Is that what we agreed on already?
Yes.
I mean, like 30 seconds ago from you.
This is from you.
No.
I put it on the calendar four.
you?
No,
dipshit.
You,
uh...
We had this conversation in the office.
Yeah, but you said you would like look at the calendar and like, you'll see when
we can stick it out.
You said that it was,
I was still waiting.
We all stood around my computer.
We all stood around my computer and I put it on the calendar and I said, can you edit it
by this day and time?
That's not true.
Maybe I was playing pinball.
I don't remember that at all.
And then you said, you said maybe we can show it on the stream.
Yeah.
Oh, you did say that. These are all maybes. These are all maybes. So are we settling on just putting
up or is it going on the street? This is so nuts. I don't care if we put it up or not. This is
so crazy. This is like the most we like thing in the world. I did all of the lifting on my
end. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. Well, we just finalize it. Jeff, do you agree
that we talked about it? It's on the calendar. I hate. I hate to step in. But I was there. I'm
independent. I can dispassionately evaluate
the situation. And I hate to say this, Gaffin, but Eric's being
very accurate with the way it went down. We all scheduled it on the
calendar together. You were probably playing pinball, but it was
put on the calendar and decided there was a discussion over which Friday and
what video to bump. It was a whole thing. And then in addition to that,
you said maybe we could also show it on the stream. And he went and Eric was
like, yeah, that's great. We could do that too. But I was pretty sure. I'm pretty
sure, like, I definitely left
the office thinking it was scheduled.
All right, well, you know, that
pinball machine's a real menace, and
I shouldn't be in front of the front door.
I know, no, no. I take
it back. I'm sorry. Eric's wrong.
Gavin's right. Maybe you got electrocuted
and you forgot. Maybe it shocked you
and it, like, a brainwave thing.
Who knows?
Screw Eric. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
My question, because I didn't want to
overload you, because I, like, you have other
stuff all the time. I never want to overload you with, like,
an edit or whatever, and I went, are you sure you can do that?
Like, by Friday, that's going to be okay.
And you assured me, yeah, no, no problem.
Well, here's the thing.
Because there's no audio to sync.
It's all just on your phone.
When I, when I finished up yesterday with my work and the two people, the two people
I was going to help were already finished with their work, turns out had a little bit
extra time to get that, that video done.
So it's ready.
Oh, that's great.
Hell yeah.
So you did it on time.
Yeah, so what's the issue?
So you did it on time, but you didn't realize you were doing it on.
time and so now you're being persnickety
about whether it's on time or not or early.
I knew it was gonna,
I knew we're gonna try and put it out, like just drop it
on top of a, like either bump something or just put
it out in addition, but I just didn't know whether it was
gonna be like Friday or Saturday or whatever.
Just got it done anyway. That video might not be done.
I'm just throwing that out there. I have
a thing to talk about later. Yeah, what does
that mean? Oh, is there an ad, I can add
to it. I think there's going to be an addition
potentially. Oh, wow.
And so this isn't going to come out tomorrow,
but when you're listening to this podcast, maybe
it'll come out that Friday. I don't know. I have no idea. Do you want your
attempt in the video? Uh, that's not what I was thinking. I was thinking maybe we could
as a way to reveal the item that we've been talking about use it to attempt to flatten
a sandwich. Oh. Probably that is in the video. Okay. Okay. So your attempt, you do,
okay. Gavin asked if you want your attempt in the video and you said no? Well, it's true.
If you want to credit it as my attempt, sure.
I just, that doesn't matter.
I don't care if I have an attempt in it or not, but just I think I would like to see the science behind it attempting to flatten.
Okay.
Well, because originally you wanted to, you wanted an attempt with your robot.
I did.
So you could do that or you could do an attempt in with your real body or we could use this item.
I want to use a lot of choices.
Okay.
I think we should use the item.
I want to see what that looks like.
I'm very fascinated.
And then people will know in the video.
that will be the debut of the item.
If I was a fan of this podcast, I'd be so mad at us.
Like, this is like the second time in this episode
where I'm just like, it's so confusing.
You're always mad at us.
You don't need to be a fan of the podcast.
As a fan, if I was listening to this podcast,
I'd just be like, what the fuck are these guys talking about?
Put the video out or don't.
What do you think the chances are the video is already out
by the time this podcast comes out?
I don't think so.
I think it'll come out the following Friday.
I think this video will be out on the eighth.
It's apparently on the calendar for this week, though.
Yeah, what is the apparently?
Yes, Andrew's asking us to hold it now.
Andrew's asking us, don't put it out.
He wants to do something as a part of it.
We can put it out tomorrow.
I have no issue with that.
Andrew's asking to do something else with it.
You seem confused about this whole thing,
and I don't know what any of the confusion is.
Earthshaker.
Okay.
I'm going to, I'll like to get you with the pinball machine.
And then I'm going to use, and then I'm going to use the auction item on you.
I had an unexpectedly hilarious thing happened to me in the midst of a not hilarious thing.
My poor mom broke her ankle.
She fell down her stairs.
It was a whole thing.
It was very traumatic, very scary.
I had to call the paramedics.
People had to come.
It was a whole thing.
I had never seen my mom get injured in that way before
so it was very shocking and upsetting
I was having a full meltdown
I'm crying I'm in shock
and then I look at my phone I get an alert
and I'm in it I get put in a group chat called happy
by someone that has never put me in any group chat
that I've ever been in before
and I thought because I had
I just needed somewhere to like
vent this is in the process she is getting taken care of as messaging a friend of mine of what was
happening and so i look and i get i'm in a group chat now called happy and i'm in like this
emotional wreck state i'm confused and my initial thought was oh maybe maybe they decided to like
make a support group chat type thing uh so that everyone can stay in the loop on what's happening
and just like i i don't know a support place but it's weird that this person is
put me in it, because that's not
who I was talking to, but the other person
I was talking to is it's like six people
in this group chat called Happy that I've been added
to. So they know about the
broken ankle? People
in the group chat did, so I thought maybe
they had a conversation, and I was like, maybe
a group is formed, and like, I can
just like a place I can give updates or whatever.
But I'm just like, I'm so, this is
just the timing of it is, and I'll call
it happy. And I'm
trying to process crying.
And then I'm
message comes through and it is not an emotional support chat.
It is not, this person has no idea of what I'm in the midst of in this moment.
They wanted to organize a happy Gilmore to watch along because it came out that day.
I am in shambles and then I look at this and it's a message like, yo guys, you want to watch
that happy Gilmore to Adam Sandler's back, baby, the Sandman, Sandman's on Netflix.
And I it was like the funniest thing that could happen in that moment of this person with the worst time
Putting me in a group chat called happy what I'm at an all time low and that they want to watch Happy Gilmore 2
That day was incredible
I just I replied to the chat this is not your fault you have no concept
But this is the worst timing you could possibly have for any of this this is incredible
it was the greatest
like unexpected laugh
and like so of course
this is the timing of this is so incredibly
this show and me
I bet that moment was funnier
than Happy Gilmore too
I haven't seen it yet I'd like to see it
I saw it either it's it's it's okay
it's like a like most
Adam Stanley movies it's a little bit too long
and the end goes kind of off the rails
but it's worth watching I think
especially if you like clip shows because it is 40%
clip show
Yeah. It's like, do you remember Julie Bowen carrying two mugs of beer in lingerie?
Well, if you don't, we're going to remind you eight times in the film.
I'm excited to see it despite. I've heard mainly negative things, but that was not the day for it.
That was like essentially, I'm trying to think if there's any, oh, we did one other thing before that that I'm very excited to talk about because I haven't talked about it at all.
I've been working in the background
for a long time now
to get our first guest
on a piece of regulation content
it's been in the works for quite a bit
had to wait
and then I had to go through a process
of talking to CBS about it
which is not something I was expecting to do
but that was the whole thing
we had to be
we had to be babysat by a CBS representative
during the interview
I think it's wild
how many times Andrew
has been in direct contact with major corporations.
It was the whole thing where, you know, we're independent now.
And so just to like not tease who it is any longer,
sheen, uh, the pencil judge, aka survivor contestant, uh,
we got the talk.
We'd been messaging back and forth for a bit.
Um, they're wonderful.
Wanted to have them on to just talk about regulation stuff and Survivor.
So Jeff and I did an interview that I think went incredibly well.
I'm so excited for people to hear it.
But yeah, before I could schedule it,
I had to go through CBS to do it.
And we've been independent for a little bit longer than a year now.
But it's the first time since we've been independent where there was a process of like,
who are you?
Why do you desert like there was like you had to like sell yourself?
Yeah, sell yourself in a sense.
And it was, it felt, uh, it felt weird.
It was a weird thing to feel like back at, you know, rooster teeth, you had to get things approved.
And we've been so not in that space.
There was a feeling of like, what the fuck?
Like, I got to figure this out.
And then they asked for links to social media accounts.
And our Instagram is still Facebook, which is fantastic.
So then, like, how do I include that?
It is.
I don't know why it's still that, but it is that.
but I was able to get it organized
Jeff and I talked to him for like 20 minutes
got deep into some survivor stuff
but then also a lot of regulation stuff
we had some rulings
genuinely wonderful person
but the most impressive thing to me
the thing that blew me away the most
he speaks regulation
oh yeah
absolutely he came out of the gate swinging
it was yeah he really did
he really did so how long is that period
where if you want to talk to him
You have to go through CBS.
I don't know.
I've been meaning to talk to him about that
because I'd love to bring him on for something else in the future.
I'd like to meet him.
I'd like to have a beer with him or something.
Or, you know, do I have to go through CBS?
I don't know to what end.
I guess if it probably involves being published,
you probably do have to go through CBS,
but I don't know for how long.
I'd never consider that with like a survivor contestant.
How long is that entryway?
When does it close?
It has to close soon, right?
Like it...
Yeah.
I can't go into the next season, I would assume.
But it's just something I've never heard of,
but also, like, I've never been in a position
in which I'm trying to talk to a survivor contestant.
So now that you mention that, Andrew,
uh, how does that release and where do we release it?
Have we figured that out?
I figured it would just go up on wherever audio gets released for what we do.
I think it's just in the podcast feed.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay, cool.
So it wasn't on video.
It wasn't like a webcam or anything?
We had one, but, you know, we don't, like, do video podcasts, so we talked.
And there was not really a visual element outside of the fact that when we started, he was holding a pencil.
But we bring up in the fact that he spent the whole interview holding a pencil.
Did he have any GERPLUS front and center?
No, GERPL.
You know, I'd be shocked if he knew what a Gerpler was, to be honest.
Okay.
But in his defense, it's not like he had access to a Gerpler and decided not to have one.
True.
Front and center.
Or shirt or a regulation shirt.
You do, but it was, you know, it was tucked away.
So we got into the Australian news with him.
It's fine.
We did.
We did.
We did.
I'm very excited for people to hear.
We got some clear definitive.
I think he should sort of be our general judge for any debate.
He's definitely qualified.
He's absolutely qualified.
So I'm so excited for that to come out.
How did he do on Survivor?
uh he was the fifth person he's his final five oh that's great good for him was the final five right
or final six i think he was six yeah final six it was right before the five still yeah still really
good incredible if he would have made it to the final five i think he would have won the whole show
completely agree like if he was in the final three definitively and i think if he would have made
it to five his path the three that's oh so he would have been very yeah that's why they had to
probably frame them to get them out yeah there's a whole framing situation you should watch
the season gabin it's a really fun season yeah i'll do it good season of television
what you're laughing at nick just the way you said that i will do it i'll do it i don't believe you
but that's okay that's also fine you don't have to put it on the calendar put it on the calendar i'd rather
that than charmed that doesn't i mean that doesn't seem to do anything for him on the calendar
so i mean it's up to you i have a quite what calendar are you talking about
I assume the work one that we all have
for sure
how do I
Regulation releases calendar
do you not have that calendar
I mean I see it every Monday
when you open it on your computer
but you don't have
he left
Eric left
when you open your calendar
on your phone or whatever you don't just have the release
schedule for like a year in the last
four months you haven't had it
I've got the recording schedule, like when to be somewhere.
It's the same calendar?
It's the same calendar?
No, it isn't?
It's the same calendar.
Today I have regulation podcast recording.
I have Let's Play Record.
And on top of that, I have charmed watch along two episodes.
And you don't, you don't see Roadcraft 2, you don't see Flatest Saunch tomorrow, you don't
see Doomsday 7?
No.
Great.
But you said that the same calendar?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter at this point.
It's fine.
Like, why do I have half a calendar?
Oh, they are different.
Oh.
Yeah.
Because this is what I have.
This is today.
Great.
That's cool, man.
Why don't you subscribe to the other calendar then?
Yeah.
I don't remember subscribing to this one.
I just have it on my email.
Like, you put it, you put my email address in, didn't you?
Do you remember why we built the calendar this way, Jeff?
Do you remember why we built this release calendar like this?
I, I remember.
Do you remember who we built it for?
Who wanted the release calendar like this,
so that way they could keep an eye on it?
I do.
Yeah.
I do.
Okay, I was just, okay, cool.
I was just curious.
It doesn't matter.
Again, if I was a fan of this show,
I'd be pissed.
It's fine.
I hate being in the middle.
Get someone off that other side then, man.
I don't know what to tell you.
But if you make the calendar,
don't you have to, like, add people's email addresses to it?
How did I get on this one?
Fuck you.
Look, I'm certainly in the wrong here, but I don't know how I have this one.
I don't know how I have this one and not the other one, is what I'm saying.
It's more just how have you not noticed or commenting on it until this moment.
I mean, there's an invite.
There's an invite for it.
You can make changes and manage sharing within the calendar.
You can see all the events within the calendar.
Uh, already added you on this list.
Uh huh.
So I should delete my, uh, folder of screenshots of your screen on, on Mondays.
You've been taking screenshots?
You're a, you're a psycho.
I'm looking at your insight right here.
Like, I don't know, like, I really don't know how you operate like a business.
Like, not this one, the other one, because this is crazy.
Well, the other one is just me.
This whole time, we've been doing this for a year.
And this whole time, you've never had that calendar on your calendar.
No.
You've never had the regulation releases calendar.
But I've got screenshots of when I need to edit.
I'm so floored.
Like, I'm like, I'm absolutely stunned.
I'm stunned right now.
I cannot believe this.
So if I press calendars.
And it sounds like something you should add to your things that Gavin learned list.
I have mine.
and now you have yours.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you have anything new on that calendar?
Or on that list, Andrew,
have you got anything new that you learned?
So, Gavin, if you look at my calendars
on the left of the screen,
what do you see?
If I look at your calendars?
Oh, my God.
Hold on a second.
Why even bother?
Like, why even do this?
Like, there's a thing at the bottom
of the screenshot that you sent
that says like calendars.
Yeah, that's what I just pressed
when I said,
is. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.
And you don't see
anything that says regulation releases
or anything like that? No, but I am subscribed to
a... Oh, you're on a desktop.
Regulation releases.
Well, that's what we're recording? Yeah. Yeah, what are you
recording on? He's just playing
on his phone, too. It's fine. No, I don't
have my calendar on this PC. Uh, let's see.
Now, I've got... I'm on the work calendar
of someone who is dead.
Um...
What the fuck?
We got any content coming out?
Got my slow-mo calendar
holidays in the United Kingdom.
This is, I'm like
I just don't.
So how do I get regulation releases to show up
in my, because I don't have the option for it here.
So how do I get it to like be an option?
Should be under Mike out.
You have to, you probably have to go in your email
and accept the invite.
Shit. That's great.
I'll do that, Leah.
No, you won't
No, let's send them a new
invite right now, hold on
I feel like if I was a listener of this episode
I'd be so annoyed at just me specifically
Yeah, 100% I agree with you
Yeah, 100%
I apologize, I apologize
I just sent it to you again
But I've never missed an editing deadline
I've always got my screenshots
Cool
He's always got
I would credit less the screenshots and more us going, hey, is that going to come out?
Is that okay?
Do you need that moved?
I'm impressed that you cared enough to take screenshots, honestly.
Yeah, but I felt kind of bad about it because it always has like Eric Dentist in the middle of the freaking week as well.
It's true.
It's my whole calendar.
Yeah.
But at least I know when not to bother you at the dentist.
Oh, my God.
Anyway, I re-shared it with you.
Andrew learned about Spy Kids 28 and reject the cookies.
Yeah, those are, those are my most recent discoveries.
What the, what?
What is, what is Spy Kids 28?
I learned that Carla Gugino is 28 years old as the mom in the first Spy Kids and that
blew my mind.
Because as a kid who watched Spy Kids, she felt like old mom.
And the fact that I am now two years older than she was in Spy Kids, and she had Spy Kids,
crazy. I think I've been in love with Carla Gugino
since like the early 90s. Yep. It's very fair.
Since like probably son-in-law.
Whoa. Yeah. Since Pauly Shore
like son-in-law. So expect to one.
Yeah. They're like a weird Hollywood
actor celebrity type thing for me where I can't imagine them doing
normal things. I can't imagine them
flattening a sandwich. That's
Subway sandwich. Can't see it.
You know, normal things. Do you think that's a normal
thing? Well, just even having
a, I don't know, like seeing them in line at Subway
would feel weird to me.
I can't imagine them. I agree with you.
Seeing, honestly, seeing any people in line at
Subway is weird. Yeah, you probably
It's not a line situation.
I hope it would be weird to see me at
Subway.
You know, I don't know, you fit.
It doesn't stand out is weird
my brain. That passes the test of weird,
not weird.
do you know what's a crazy at 28 for me what is that uh heath ledger was the joker at 28
wow that's crazy isn't that nuts he feels at least 32
208 was so he died how old was he when he died is that who you have on your calendar do you have
heath ledger's calendar on your no no his one this stops at the imaginarium of dr barnasse's back in
he was 28 when he died
28 that's crazy
I'll say it's probably 27 then when he filmed it
maybe
that's insane
yeah
although he did
did he die like right after they filmed
he died January of 2008
so
it's probably not right after they filmed
but it was probably pretty close
hey do we have any updates on any
park benches that we may be
dedicating in any of the states yet
dude
no we got a lead
on one at the San Diego Zoo that would be like a lot of fun.
Do we have like $50,000?
Oh!
No.
It's so insane.
So that was our first avenue and then we will be looking at other park benches.
If you know of a park bench that you think that we should go for, a park of some kind,
let us know, because that points us in like the right direction.
But the San Diego Zoo want to, you know, shout out the regulation listener who's like,
hey, dude, I do some stuff with the safari park.
He's like, it will be cospers.
but like I'll put you in contact.
Cost prohibitive was a lightweight to put it, dude.
It's crazy.
I want to get into the second thing I learned before we move too far away.
Just reject the cookies.
I've been accepting cookies on every website I'd go on to because I thought I had to.
Didn't know you didn't have to.
There's two options though.
It's like reject or accept.
I at some point in my life felt like I had heard that if you reject the cookies, you can't go on to the site.
And I always want to see the information.
information on the site. So I would always accept the cookies. I just learned you don't need to
accept the cookies. Yeah, I mean, I feel like sometimes there's like a feature of the site that
won't work. I had it. And my understanding of it, I couldn't view the thing I wanted to look at
the news story or the product or whatever unless I accepted the cookies. So I've been accepting
cookies left and right. Every site you give me some cookies on accepting the cookies. I can reject
the cookies. I mean, you probably got a warning message one time.
that said, if you reject the cookies,
you won't be able to see the items in this frame or whatever.
And so you, that's how you got it into your head.
It is possible that some features on websites don't work without cookies.
I think there was a new story.
I think there was a policy change, like, over a decade ago,
that made cookies more prevalent.
And it was one of those, like, headline things where I read it
and didn't read the story or maybe heard someone talk about it,
but, like, did no research into it.
And that was my takeaway.
So I've been living in an accept all cookies lifestyle
Ever since that moment for like 10 plus years
I'd assume so I've just been accepting cookies everywhere
Didn't know it was a thing that people didn't do
Some I I'm rejecting cookies now
Say no to the cookies
Have you noticed a change in your life?
Not a single goddamn thing is changed
But I'm rejecting those cookies now
I've had too many of them
I guess it's like you're allowing
them to like track, I don't know. It's bad. It saves the thing and then it can like tell
where you've been from that site and it'll report back to the original site, some tracking
stuff. I don't want reporting. They don't need that data. They don't need to report to where I'm
going. That's why I just don't bother accepting. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so I'm living that lifestyle
now. I'm rejecting the cookies. What's your favorite cookie? I love a peanut butter cookie.
Oh, interesting. Some chunks, maybe some Reese's chunks in it.
like a soft or a hard peanut butter cookie
soft
yeah
I'm more of a soft cookie guy
that's the way to go
why'd you say it like that
I'm right there with you
what you like your cookies hard Gavin
I just seem a little bit
orgasmic about it
you ever had a good soft cookie
like good
he likes peanut butter
I like chocolate chip
holy shit man you give me a good
soft chocolate chip cookie
all gooey and warm and hot
it is kind of sexual
I don't see
soft chocolate chip doesn't do it for me
but you did say warm
and that is pretty good
if it's fresh out of it like if it's
you know like it hasn't solidified yet warm
real good
but like you can get a pretty shitty
soft chocolate chip cookie
I have found oh for sure
there are bad soft chocolate chip cookies
for sure
I don't know if I've had a bad soft peanut butter
cookie
I don't think I have
Gavin strikes me even though he said he isn't
I feel like UK is like yeah we only do our cookies
hard we only got hard cookies
You can hammer nails with the cookies in England
Yeah we don't cook our bacon all the way through
And we have hard cookies
Overcook the cookie
Undercook the bacon it's the British way
I saw 28 years later
The other day and there's a scene in it
In the beginning where a kid pocket some
bacon and then gives it to somebody
and the reveal of the bacon I was like
that's not cooked enough that's some shit
bacon I would not want that bacon
UK style don't like that
bacon don't like your soft bacon
Gavin chew on this for a while asshole
I don't know why you prefer burnt
bacon it's crunchy and crispy
and it makes it saltier
it's much better than soft
you know it's almost a good crispy
bacon's almost sexual
do you want a crispy steak
Why is that suddenly the meat that's crispy?
Do you think bacon and steak are like comparable meats?
I think they're very different in texture and experience.
It's like gammon.
What?
Yeah.
The casino game.
No, that's bat cammon.
This is front gammon I'm talking about.
There's a lack of thickness to bacon that I,
I think doesn't translate well.
And also you want to see her.
So, like, your point, I don't understand your point
with a steak.
Like, you want the inside to be softer.
Do you see, but the, it's softer,
but the outside to have a little crisp to it.
But I wouldn't want to put it on a fork
and have it stick out horizontally
without bending.
I mean, what's the best part of a brisket?
The burnt ends.
That's pretty good.
Hmm.
Like a good brisket.
The end of this episode has just been
You guys saying foods and going
I'm back on meat pretty hard right now
Hell yeah, that's right, Nick knows, Nick knows
No, I'm all, I'm still off hot dogs
But I'm on, I'm on, I got this
My father-in-law has one of those ninja electric
Woodfire grills
This is not sponsored
No, you're talking about, by the way, this is just
He had one and
I was bitching about how I love to grill
but I hate propane
I hate dealing with switching out the canisters all the time
and I hate charcoal now
because you have to set up a grill
and like 45 minutes to an hour
in advance of when you want to cook
and if all you wanted to cook was like
one steak for Emily and I to share
and a couple of Brussels sprouts
it's way too much work
it's way too time prohibitive
so I just don't grill anymore
but he had one of those things
and he used it and it made good ass steak
so I bought one and I've made steak
every night now
but I've had it.
That's delicious.
I love that for you.
You turn it on.
It takes like seven minutes to heat up.
Then you,
it has a thermometer that comes out of the machine
that you just put right in the steak
so that it just like beeps when it's done.
It turns itself off when it's done.
You don't have to do shit.
You have to flip a steak once,
but that's like it.
I wonder if we made a list of soft foods
and hard foods,
which one would dominate?
What side would we end up going on?
What, like foods that can be hard and soft?
No, just like one or the other.
Either hard food or soft food.
Like if you could only have hard food.
or soft food? I think I'd probably go soft.
Yeah, because I'm thinking like mashed potatoes.
And soups. All the soups in the world, you have access to.
I'll trade the soups for nothing.
I'll give hard food soups for future considerations.
I don't need soup in my life. Get that out of here.
It's a good soup or a good stew in the winter is nice.
Do you wish that a hot popsicle could be a thing?
No.
No.
Like imagine if you could suck on a soup on a stick, but it wouldn't be cold.
I think that'd be delicious.
Hot-sicle.
Yeah.
Yeah, hot-sicle.
Okay.
Well, on the back of the hot-sicle
and maybe walking back a step or two,
it is after the first of the month in August.
And with that comes the end of our dog count,
a year-long adventure that we've been in the middle of.
How are you guys feel?
I'll go over the numbers here shortly,
but how are you guys feeling about the dog count
where we kept count, if you're not familiar,
kept count of every hot dog that we ate for a full calendar,
year. I'm feeling pretty good about my count. I thought it was a fascinating experiment,
and I'm really proud of us for maintaining it for the entirety of one year. It doesn't feel
two. Doesn't feel like we started this a year ago, you know? It's cool that we were able to
keep up with it. Yeah, and we did. There was a Slack channel. It definitely skewed the results
on my end. I probably had twice as many dogs as I usually would in a year. I would even go as far as
movie 3x for you.
Yeah, no kidding.
You don't know me.
Shit, I think he's got me there.
I would say he does.
Well, can I run down the dog count numbers?
Please, please read the numbers.
Dog count, from lowest to highest.
Again, not a contest.
In fifth place, Gavin Free, nine hot dogs.
Not bad.
Not bad.
In fourth place, Eric Badoor, 24.
hot dogs.
The bronze medalist.
Not a contest.
Andrew Panton,
27
hot dogs.
The silver medalist.
Nick Schwartz,
37 hot dogs.
It's a lot of dogs.
Finally, in our year-long
hot dog eating count,
first place.
The gold medalist.
the way that we all knew it would be.
Jeff Ramsey, with a final count,
62 hot dogs.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I guess at the end of the day,
I just have that dog in me.
What do you do?
Well, you definitely have that dog in you.
You've had so much of that dog in you.
You no longer want any more dog to be part of you.
I'm done dogging, yeah.
Yeah.
Much like I've written off corn dogs for the rest of my life,
I am seriously considering taking 20, 20, that back half of 20.
In the first half of 2026, off of hot dogs.
It's like seven years worth of dogs for me.
I didn't even hit the national average for one year, which is something in the 70s.
There's no fucking way that that is accurate.
It makes no sense.
Zero percent chance.
We thought the number was bullshit when I first read it.
And now I can confirm there's no fucking way those numbers on the National Hot Dog Sausage Council's website are correct.
It can't be.
I went out of my way to eat hot dogs at every opportunity
and I still felt like 10 short of the national average.
I don't buy it.
I will say I will probably eat a nunya dog in there every once in a while
because that is a different beast altogether.
But yeah, I'm fucking burned out on hot dogs.
I never thought I'd see the day.
This whole thing started because I asked you guys a question,
what's a food you never say no to when it's offered to you?
And for me, it was a hot dog.
I now feel comfortable saying no to
hot dogs. That's wild. Do we know of any other national averages that we should take into
the next year? Oh, that's interesting. Leave a comment. If you guys know some other,
leave your sources as well, some national averages for some other foods that we might want to
attempt this with. I think that's a really good idea, Gavin. I didn't even consider doing it
with something else. I feel like it makes sense to have a passive experiment working every year.
I think that's fun. I completely agree. I like that. I really like making a Slack channel.
For this.
Hey, Gav, how did your Pia account end?
I ended the year on, what was it?
Four.
It was on four.
Yeah, it was on four.
And then the final picture was a picture of Piaiaa, and you just said, couldn't face it.
Well, I did three and one trip to Spain.
And I thought, I'll get one last one in on the, on the airport on the way back.
And couldn't bring myself to do it.
As is customary, I was hanging out with your wife and not you the other day.
We were playing bingo.
And she was telling me, she was like,
so you're going to win the hot dog count?
And I'm like, it's not a competition.
But yes, I'm absolutely going to win.
And she was like, you know what you should do?
And she was really pushing me on this.
And I'm not going to do it because I don't like seafood,
but she was really pushing me for it.
She's like, you need to go and find five paeas in Austin and eat them this week
before the 31st.
And then you can beat him in the hot dog count and the paella account.
That's my wife suggesting that.
Yeah.
wife.
Forcefully suggesting that.
Wow.
You didn't want to do it?
No, I've never had paella,
and it seemed like a weird way to start.
Yeah.
That's fair.
I did five of these.
Take five paella, please.
But I love how devious she is.
She really wanted to get you.
She's great.
That's why I like her.
I have a calendar update,
and it's brought back a lot of memories.
Oh, no.
I'll just post this.
Oh.
Wrong computer.
Press enter on the wrong keyboard.
All right.
I remember this now.
This is what happens when I click that calendar.
What am I looking at?
So it's unchecked.
Yes, the little video, it's unchecked on the side.
And then I go and check that to put all the entries in.
What the fuck?
It just disappears?
The calendar deletes itself from my calendars.
Yeah, I remember doing this.
I remember trying like four times to put this one on.
I do remember this now.
You could have saved yourself a lot of getting yelled at
if you just would have shown us this 20 minutes ago.
Yeah, I forgot.
You were completely absolved of any guilt
other than maybe we could have discussed this
and worked something out.
Yeah, because the screenshot thing,
as I was describing what I do,
I was thinking of how much of an Andrew approach
that is to a technical problem.
Like, I'm jumping through all kinds of different hoops
than just jumping through the one correct hoop.
And yeah, that's why.
It just doesn't work.
Doesn't work for me.
Hmm.
How weird.
What do we do?
How do we go forward?
I don't know.
Gavin.
Maybe I could try on a different email address.
Maybe you need to have another pilot.
Yeah.
Well, either way, we're going to figure it out on the next episode.
Thank you guys so much for listening.
Go to patreon.com slash the regulation pod.
Hopefully you got a Gerpler.
We had our Gerpler release.
I imagine an immediate success.
Also some patches.
I think as well.
Yeah.
Yep.
So thank you guys for coming through.
Appreciate you listening to the podcast.
Andrew, any final words for the people listening?
I got some new cats.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Find out about his new cats next time.
Bye.
What about our final words?
I just gave it to Andrew.
Oh.
Be on the lookout for pigeon merch.