F**kface - Exhausted by Our Stupidity // Restrained Chaos [74]

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about one count, Portal 2, Riot Fest, deoderant problems, surrender position, VATS sports, grocery mistakes, bad search history, mouth tape, Burndog's art, grave, Nick's plane drink, Svengoolie, unguzzable, gross Starbucks, cake pops, Nick's concerns, It's Them or Us, mosquitos, Shadow of a Doubt, killer snail, Borderlands 4, 60 frames, menus, Pigeon patches, pigeon shirt, Larry King, and drawer ranking. PIGEON DROP livestream this Friday at 4pm CT https://twitch.tv/theregulationpod and https://regulationstore.co Sponsored by Shopify. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/face Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fly Air Transat Seven Time winners Champions Fly the seven time world's Best Leisure Airline Champions Air Transat Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast

My name is Jeff Ramsey with me I was Do you want Nick to count you doing Here we're going to start over Hang on, hang on We're going to start you over Nick Nick, give him the old one count. One go.

Hello and welcome to the regulation. What? God damn it. I'm off track now. I'm off track. Somebody put me back on track. Nick, give me a two count. Two, one go.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the regulation podcast. This is episode 74. Lottie this Jeff Ramsey with me. As always, Nick Schwartz, the MVP, Eric Bador, Andrew Patton, and Gavin Free. 74 times and I shit the bed. How you doing, Jeff? 74. Yeah, that's right, just 74 times. That's right.

Well, for this podcast. Can I propose a new intro rule? Sure. Okay. One attempt every week. Oh, like a flubbed intro is a puff. Oh, if it goes wrong, you just have to live with it type thing? Well, luckily that only comes up about once every 75 weeks, so I'm cool. But when it does, it'll be pretty exciting. When it does, it'll be pretty exciting. Can't tell you got something? Yeah, please. I told Gavin this yesterday, uh, And Gavin and I were, we got together and we played a little portal two, which, by the way, we're getting dumber. Like, we need to get the oxygen levels checked in the office because I was very dumb.

But I watched Gavin also get dumber. And that was really distressing because his IQ was like, it was popping out of his head like when you shoot somebody in gear in fucking borderlands. Like, it was, the most disturbing thing to me, though, was, I was, I'm usually aware when I'm being done. I couldn't fathom the fact that our recording. We only did one level, right? In the previous video, we did two. We did one level, and it took us an hour and 40 minutes. And when Jeff was showing me his recording length, I was like, oh, so, were you recording

like way before we started? Like, that's not right. And then I looked at mine, it was also an hour and 40 minutes. And I was like, oh, thick idiot. I was so tired, I had taken that. We couldn't do any more work the rest of the day. We were exhausted by our own stupidity. so by a level you mean one room or do you mean a section of rooms like a section of rooms

yeah like a world of eight levels okay that's not as bad it's not as bad i mean i haven't seen the footage yet but i can't even imagine i can't imagine watching this there's no way two days prior to this you and gavin and i recorded the bruce lee hitman uh whatever you call it like Yep. Target thing. Elusive target. And I had to take a nap after that because it was so long and exhausted, hilarious and fun watching you both go through the mission. But it lasted so fucking long. I was wiped. This recording was longer than that. This recording was somehow

longer than both of you doing those full attempts where Gavin tried to kill every single person on the map for a while there. It was, it was amazed. Anyway, none of that is what I showed Gavin yesterday. So I've been dealing with something for about two weeks now that has been very quietly excruciating and making me miserable most of my waking hours. And it also has hurt so bad. It's been hard to go to sleep at night sometimes. But I am 100% in the clear now. I'm pain free. I've been pain free for about three days now. Good. When I went to Chicago for riot fest with big three day music festival, uh, we had a great time. By the way, ran into a million regulation listeners, which was really cool.

So many comment levers out there. There's, like, nothing cooler than when you go out in public and somebody comes up to you and they say, like, like, the cool, it's very cool for somebody to come up and go, oh, my God, it's so nice to see you, Jeff, out here. Glad you're still alive. Really appreciate Red versus Blue or Achieve Mahunter or Let's Play or whatever. Ten times cooler when they come up to you and they see you eating a slice of pizza and they go, what the fuck are you doing?

That's not a hot dog? That's not a hamburger? And you go, oh, I had a hamburger yesterday. I'm sorry. I'm going to have a hot dog tomorrow. I don't know. It was that the line went to the hamburgers was too long. And I got completely befuddled because the guy just called me out for not eating a hamburger in public.

So much cooler to meet a, like a community member of something you do versus something you did. And I met so many people out there that are regulation listeners. And I just want to say thank you to everybody that came by and said hi. It was just a delight. And it made me look. fucking so famous in front of Millie, if I'm being serious with you. Like, it was cool. It was really cool. I really appreciated it. Which is weird because you would think she'd be used to it, but she, I guess, never paid

attention for the first 19 years. And she was like, well, a lot of people seem to know you're here. What's the deal with that? I'm like, oh, I don't know. She wasn't looking when there was a line of 800 people across the conventional. No, that was just, that was just dad stuff. Well, I guess to be fair, that is you at a convention for your thing. Yeah. would be her experience. This is a completely unrelated event. This is just a popular music festival that has nothing to do with the audience

that would be expected to know your work. This is big city rock and roll, not a comic book convention. I get it. But while I was there, you know, I took my ditty bag and I traveled over there and I pulled out my deodorant the first morning I got up and took a shower.

And my deodorant, you know that thing where you have like roll on deodorant or like stick deodorant where it gets to the end the deodorant and it gets kind of like a hard plastic sharp edge and you kind of got to like push it and you just try to get like the dregs of the deodorant before it's completely gone and I was about to like I was about to Uber to a stand in a field for 15 hours I didn't want to be gross and so I saw that the deodorant was almost gone I must have used it all up in Indiana when we were there

and so because it was like just what was in my bag and so I just like I was like I'll just make it work so I like stuck my finger in the bottom of it and try to push it and then I just went hard on my arm ah, you know, and then I was like, oh, that's kind of sore. And then I did the other arm and I was like, ah, it's kind of sore. And I was like, ah, it's kind of a lot of sore. And then I just kind of went about my business. And then, you know how sometimes when you get like, when you get like a paper cut, you don't realize it's a cut at first? Mm-hmm.

And then it takes a couple seconds for your body to catch up with the pain. Sure. I sliced my underarms, my armpits across my armpit, both armpits on both sides, all the way across. Let me tell you what kind of fresh hell a paper cut on an underarm is. Every time I lifted my elbows to do anything, pick up a fork, tie my shoe, grab something off a shelf. I ripped a scab on my underarms for two straight weeks. It was excruciating. I couldn't use deodorant because it got in the wound and it stung and my arms got agitated.

So I stunk for two weeks. I was having to put fucking like triple antibiotic ointment on my arms. for two weeks, this is not for public, but I sent Gavin a photo. This is at them. I don't know, I don't know if I need to see it. This is, this is all, this is almost healed. That's what just what's left.

Oh my grossest underarms. Oh my God. That's after two weeks. That's, that was like two days ago. It looks like road rash. It looks like road rash. I was scared for a second. I had like jock it again, but on my underarms.

I was terrified I had an allergic reaction to something. It wasn't. It was just inflamed. from the paper cuts, but God help me, if you ever have an opportunity not to get a paper cut under both arms at the same time, I recommend. Don't do it. Why is the plastic under a lump of deodorant so sharp, though? It couldn't sand that shit rounded?

I don't know, and I'm upset about that, because I'm 50, you know? I've been dealing with this my entire life. I never had a deodorant that was so sharp, it sliced my arms up, you know? It's ridiculous. So, you know, fuck old spice. I'll say that Can I Can I recommend a cream deodorant

Please I'm using spray I've switched to spray and it doesn't work as well But I'll take a cream I think that they were sponsors Of this show for a while maybe Come sponsor us again Mando Mando Mando That cream deodorant is like Dude I swear by it I would pit out

I would pit out Mexican dude that used to be on the podcast Yeah different different guy He didn't have anything to do with this Shockingly But like dude I would pit out with regular deodorant. I would talk to Omar about this from Funhouse all the time. It would just be like huge sweat stains and stuff.

And then I started using a cream deodorant. Dude, it rocks. It's so much better. And you won't get fucking road rash. What the up? That is like the craziest photo. Also, trim that hair, dude. That's too much.

That's ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll trim. I have trimmed it since then. But I just, I didn't want to touch my arms for a long time other than to put the fucking bassetration on. or whatever. But yeah, yeah, I'll try the cream because I'm fucking done. I'm done with stick deodorant. What if you'd have just stretch your arm straight up, like, after you'd done it,

and let it heal stretched? Would you've been all right after that? So what I would do at night, it's interesting you say that, because what I would do, where it would really fuck with me is, you know, you kind of like lose your tolerance throughout the course of the day. So like, I'd start strong. And then, you know, it doesn't even really bother you at first. And then by the end of the day, you're like, what, ah, it just fucking builds. So laying in bed was especially uncomfortable. And so what I would try to do was lay my arms above my head on my side for a while so that they would get used to the pain because there's nothing worse than you're like

almost asleep and then you like roll over and then suddenly you got fresh fucking underarm pain. You're like completely like being electrocated back awake, you know? And so I tried to fall asleep with my arms up so that if I moved them in my sleep, they would, it wouldn't hurt as much and that didn't work at all. Yeah, but I think what Gavin's saying is a really good idea. Like, Riot Fest seems like it would be the place where like, you can walk around with your hands up all day, right?

Like, you're in the crowd. And like, the DJ's like, all right, everybody put your hands up. And you're already the first guy doing it. Like, the thing about it is, is that they didn't start, like they hurt in the moment. And then I didn't notice it until I was going home on the flight. Like the morning I woke up to go home. I had like a day where I was just like probably distracted

or, you know, paying attention to the show or not, but so it didn't really kick in until Riot Fest was over that I noticed like, yeah, the full pain. Otherwise, yeah, maybe I could have done that. Maybe I could have just walked on with my arms up. Well, I don't know. I feel like you can't be in surrender position

all the time. I feel like you gotta lower them eventually. You got to recharge. Just look like a, a Marionette dancing. Yeah. Do you think you'll ever stop finding new ways to hurt yourself? No.

No? You think I was just the whole life constantly? Dude, my fucking left big toe hurt so bad right now. I almost couldn't sleep last night. And I don't know why. I know I remember the other day I did something to it. And I went, well, that's going to suck in a day or two. And it does, but I don't remember what that was, you know, whether I kicked it or drop something on it.

But yeah, it's just constant. It's just constant. I'm so clumsy and it's not getting better. Maybe you should start immediately labeling yourself when you do the injury. just so you remember what it is. Like, if you just wrote, like, stuffed toe and the day table on your toe, you would know why. That's not a bad idea, actually. Because it's pretty constant.

I walk into shit three or four times a day. We talk a lot about my ankle ratings. I would love if that was a thing that was in professional sports, where athletes had to wear clothing that had number percentages of each poor limb. It'd be like a full out. So you get, like, a foot rating throughout the season. Yeah, like a fallout. Your VATS rating.

Yeah, exactly. Like your shoulder. Like, it just seeing a full field of players start at probably like 90%, I assume, by the time the season starts with preseason and everything. To the end of the season, like the Super Bowl, I want to see, well, that quarterback has 30% right knee. That's fucking crazy. They start green and end up orange and red. Yeah. That's how.

Yeah. The jerseys change color based on how healthy they are. It's just the best. Benches loaded with green guys. Just green guys gagging to get on and a bunch of limpid reds on the pitch. And then you would know, Gavin, as someone who doesn't necessarily watch a lot of North American

sports, you'd be like, whoa, this guy must be really good if he's a red and on the field? That's crazy. Yeah, like, where's the green to replace this guy? Yeah. It's a vital player. Do you guys ever

look at your search history and realize you've made some mistakes? like a sequence of mistakes. Jesus Christ. I had a real bad one the other night. I sometimes what I'll do is if I plan on going to like a grocery store or whatever, I'll use an app to see like what they have in stock so I can kind of plan where I'm going and what I need from what place.

Or maybe going to one place it's more optimal than the other because this place has all the things I need. Other place doesn't. I was just thinking in my head. I had a bunch of innocent searches that. that are completely justifiable. And then I got to the end of it and had a complete panic of,

I really hope that I'm not accused of any form of crime that I certainly did not commit. Because this was my search history. I'm posting a photo right now and then I'll read it. This is in sequence from bottom to top opens with melt tape.

Next search, garbage bags. Third search, exacto, fourth search, box cutter. The last search, knives. I went to go search if they had a certain candy in the store, and I looked at the recent search list and went, oh no. That looks real bad.

I like that you searched two types of knife and then just wrote knives. Yeah, so let me go through each thing and explain how I got to the end. I use, I'm on the pap. See, PAP for sleeping. And I've noticed sometimes my mouth will open during the night, which is not ideal for it. And I know I've heard people talk about getting like mouth tape. And so I was just curious. I'd never looked into it.

And I thought, oh, I wonder if they have that. So I started there. Then I went to, I have a bunch of boxes I need to break down. I need some garbage bags and that type of thing, just to do some cleaning. We're almost out. I'll look at garbage bags. Then it turned into, well, the last time I used an exact example. knife. It was pretty dull the one we had. I wonder if they have that in this place. And they didn't.

So I thought, well, maybe box cutter would pull it up because sometimes you'll search for something. Yeah. And they'll have the item, but it's not labeled correctly. And then nothing showed up for that. And then I thought, well, what if I just search knives? Like, what do they, do they even have a knife in this place? And that's how I got to my sequence of problem searches. Which then, I genuinely wanted to look up if they had a candy after that, and I thought, oh, no, I need to search up the most non-threatening item or, like, suspicious search. I, like, I need to fill the searches

with that to counter that. But then I felt that would look even more suspicious, so I'd just close the app. I'd have gone allowed. Then, I'd have done bleach, luminal, wipes. Open up a different app to see, do the same searches. Maybe it's an app issue. Fifty-five gallon drum,

sulfuric acid. Oh, man. Huge shovel. Huge shovel? I don't think I've ever searched huge shovel. I like the idea of like, I need a big one. I need the biggest shovel you have.

What would be the biggest shovel? Is it like a snow shovel? Is that the largest shovel you get? I mean, you couldn't dig into the ground with one of those. Good for your top soil, though, I guess. Yeah. That's fair. But that was my search.

That was my great pain. Have you guys ever had that where, like, you realize you made a bunch of searches that out of context look horrendous? Oh, definitely, yeah. No. Pretty often, I'd imagine. What you just showed us is fucking crazy, Andrew. Well, no, no, in the context I provided completely reasonable, right? I've never had anything that said knives and mouth and garbage bags, no.

Mouth tape sounds so specific to a crime, but it's really the opposite because someone would actually just write tape. they wouldn't write like mount cutting sore and what are you how are you gonna chop somebody up with a box cutter and an exacto knife that's gonna be the slowest dismemberment

in history I'm not trying to explain any of this away it sounds like your accomplices for whatever Andrew's doing you guys are menaces you can't deny that with context all of these make sense

let me yeah explain this to the police I could I do think you're probably on some sort of a government watch list now but that's okay I think we all are Gracie does mouth tape and she's he's like

oh yeah I'm doing hostage tape to go to sleep and it's like you're the craziest person I know that's awesome Emily does mouth tape too Really? It's fucking nuts Do these people see PAP? No I don't know Gracie doesn't see that I got

Before I couldn't do that I was like I feel like I'm just going to strangle myself by doing that So well wait there is a hole in it You can breathe through mouth tape Yeah there's a hole in it Oh well then What's the point?

What's the point? Well, it's much smaller. It's like, it constricts the airflow, so you're likely just to start breathing through your nose. But if your nose gets blocked, you can still breathe through the mouth tape. And it keeps you from, like, having your fucking mouth open, going, so are you, so you put it on and then you're supposed to use your CPAP with it? Like, you're just trying to get all the air in your nose all the time? That was my logic, but I don't think people do that.

I think some people just use it without the pat, which makes sense to me. I only tried the mouth tape without the pat. I'm getting rid of the mouth tape. This is a shark tank pitch. I'm out. I'm not part of this. I don't get it. Have you tried mouth tape just during the day?

Ooh. That's interesting. I mean, I know a lot of people who would want to put it on me. Yeah. Like who? Oh, could you imagine? It would just, like, it would force you to breathe through your nose, right? Like, just like during the day?

Wouldn't that be, like, helpful? What if, what if it was like sports penalties? but for like the Senate or Congress if you break a roll you had a mouth tape 15 minutes you could just do you can you can still breathe through this but you certainly can't talk

Nick just said let's do a let's play with mouth tape on you're a psychopath That's fun What about the papas pap and the non-pappas tape Oh man The papers pap I don't think I can pap again Because that fuck me up Yeah it kind of makes me want to throw up

talking through the pap Yeah it's not good. Well, don't do that. Yeah, well, don't throw up. I got to ask a question when I was on the pap the other night and I went to try to reply normally and it sounded like, no.

This is how it came out. I was so. I didn't feel like bad of like, I did not mean the way that came out was not the emotion I was trying to convey as the response to the question. Maybe that's, if you ever get interviewed by the police for your

weird search history, put the on and they won't be able to tell if you're LIGOD from your weird intonation. Doing what does lie detector pass with a CPAP on is so funny. Did you do this? They won't be able to read. Of course not. Hey, can I, uh, can I share something cool with you guys? I'm pretty excited about. A long time ago, we were, uh, having a conversation in or around our friend Byrndog, uh, not that we were in him, but with or around.

Nobody was in him. Nobody was actually in him. You know what I mean. Do you want to cut that out too? Jesus Christ. No, that bar can stay in. That bar can stay in. Just the ugly cough can go.

We were having a conversation around or with our friend Burn Dog about he's really into like black metal and death metal and that stuff. And about how you can't read the fucking band names. And it's always just like people who wear like jackets of patches of shit that just looks like scribbleys. And we were joking around about what the regulation version of that would look like. like if we had like a death metal logo. So I commissioned him to create one for us. Oh. He's done it.

I commissioned him to make our death, like our black metal band shirt. And I have it here if you want to see it. Please. Whoa. Okay. So for the audio listeners. God, that's awesome.

It's been a whole. Fuck, that rules. So imagine the screen in GTA4 when you die. it is the black and white and it's Jeff laying next to the beanhole with two swords I look very dead Oh it looks like he's a war

victim. Yeah he looks like a war victim I look like a 70 It looks like a death metal shirt with a picture of a war victim on it yeah and then above it are two crossed swords and a moon and what looks like a bunch of flames but those flames say something Yep

Oh geez that is Does the flame say something? That is, that is, those are words. Now, do we want, now Jeff, Jeff, do we want to leave that for them to figure out and maybe the audience to figure out as well? Yeah. And we could get people to take some guesses at what this is supposed to be. Bernie said that it'll be, he was like, it's going to be a long time for anybody figures out what the fuck I wrote in there.

That's awesome. But it's definitely, he was like, it's definitely words, I promise. I know what it says. I can't see all of it. I can see some of it. I can also, I can also see some of it. I'm, I'm aware of this that has been worked on in the background, just so you guys know. This is the first time I'm seeing the finished, completed art.

I want this on a shirt so fucking bad. It is crazy. That, this is the craziest looking image. I love this. Here's what I think we should do. I think we should make the shirt and sell it because it was, it took Burn Dogg a lot of work to make this for us and he's a very busy dude and it was very kind of him to do it. and I just think it's awesome

but I think we should do some sort of a contest and the first person to accurately say what is in like what the shirt says should get like I don't know some merch or something for us get a free shirt get like some autograph stuff I don't know we'll put together like a care package so the best way to be like draw through this

in red to like draw out of letters I think you have to I think you have to show us what it is because again I keep glancing at it and I can see it and then if I look at it for more than one second, I lose it. Yeah, same. It's tough. I like that the hole, because the contrast changed, the hole and the dirt from the hole

have kind of combined like a big grave-looking ditch. Yes. It looks like I died digging my own grave. Yeah, it looks like someone's about to kick you in to the hole you just dug. Just on the back of last week's episode and figuring out a graveyard, this is Jeff and the grave. This could be the plot of land that Gavin bought you for your 51st birthday. That's so excited.

There you go. Perfect timing. I wrote about all the grave talk last week. Okay, well, you know, the thumbnail will probably be in the episode notes. And then, of course, we'll put this shirt up and start selling it here as soon as we get it made. And then, you know, the contest will be on, I guess. Very cool, very awesome t-shirt that Burn Dog designed for us. And I'm very excited for people to try to figure out what the fuck it is.

Yeah, that's awesome. This is an ad for shopper. I don't know if you know this, but starting your own business can be a very intimidating and lonely and terrifying experience. If you've ever started your own business, you certainly know this. You also have to wear a million different hats. You have to become a human Swiss army knife. And it's honestly really difficult. That's why companies like Shopify make such a difference to small businesses. When we started this podcast from the ashes of the previous one, one of the first things we knew we had to do was get our merch business up and running again. It was one of the

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Turns and conditions apply. Learn more at amex.ca. I've got a picture. Nick, did you talk about on the podcast or was it just in person what you order on planes is your drink? I don't think we talked about it on the podcast. I think we were just talking about

on a trip. Because it sounded ridiculous. He orders... What? He orders just the mix, like the non-boos part of a Bloody Mary. Yeah, the Bloody Mary mix. And I was just thinking like,

surely that's annoying to ask for because that's kind of a confusing thing to order on a plane. Usually someone would say Bloody Mary or a normal drink, but you just want like some. of a different drink, and I sat next to you

why you ordered this. And it was, it was a complete faff. She was, you had to like go back and forth with her. She was like, uh, okay, yeah, what, is that what you want? And then I just, uh, I found this picture that I took up. Oh my God. There's so many things that can be the thumbnail for this episode, but I just don't know if anything's better than that. Oh, man, sorry, Burndog. Wow. Wow. Nick, Nick, you look out of your fucking mind. Imagine that face ordering that drink from you.

The face came after the drink was poured. Look at it. It also looks disgusting. Nick looks like he's a zombie that's about the turn unless he can get his mixture in. Yeah. Like he's clinging to life. Yeah.

That's the blood that prevents me from going fully feral. And you can't see, but inside his gut are a bunch of frozen M&Ms. No, no, no. They're room temperature M&Ms. No, they were still cold. They were still cold. He had to freeze it, didn't it? I have so many questions.

I had the freezing. First question. He looks like, he looks like Spentgouly. He looks like Spentgouly. He looks like Spentgoly. Now, the M&Ms, Nick, you've talked about, are kind of associated with your flight anxiety. Is this a flight anxiety drink for you?

No, I just kind of discuss. It's one of the few things I feel like on a, plane you can get that doesn't have caffeine, because most sodas have some level of caffeine, and I'm trying to avoid caffeine, usually, before I fly. Sprite. But, well, there is Sprite, but also,

there's something to me about tomato juice, even though it's Bloody Mary mix, that seems a bit healthier, so so you're just you're eating Eminemes, you're eating Eminem's. You're eating Eminem's. You're eating Eminem's. Yeah, I got, yeah, I know.

But he's having dark chocolate Eminemes. Is that healthier, though? It's just adding a fruit to a bunch of sugary shit making it healthier? Well, to me, it's good for you. But it's not adding more unhealthy things. Yeah, but if, I don't know, if you eat a whole, like, if you eat four Snickers bars, I don't eat a bit of less, it doesn't make, doesn't cancelate it out.

No. But it's not more Snickers bars. He's got you there. The way, the way you indulge yourself. and then restrict yourself is so strange to me because you could find a middle but your middle is just extremes

on either end and it's crazy it's crazy you're drinking soup you're drinking soup no well well I guess well I was going to say

soup's not cold but gazpacho is so maybe you're right how did you discover that you like this well I like Bloody Mary's a lot on their own The actual version of them. And on a flight one day, I had seen that they had the little can offered. And I was like, you know what?

It's like 9 a.m. It's too early to have a real Bloody Mary. Isn't 9 a.m. when you're supposed to have a real bloody Mary? I think it's a morning booze drink. I think that's specifically, all right. Okay, we're really turning this on its head for Nick. He's never thought about what we just said. I'm totally on Nick's side here, by the way.

I see no difference between that and drinking. in a V8, which is just a drink, but it is weird that he would not think that a Bloody Mary was a morning drink. It's a later morning drink for me. That's fair. Like 10, 11. You know? I'm just opposed to all this.

I don't know. Tomato drinks now. It's good. It's refreshing. Have you tried it? Yeah. Well, I haven't tried Bloody Mary mix, but I've tried V8. I'm with Andrew. I think it's gross. I think it's disgusting. I don't like a Bloody Mary. I don't like a V8. I think this tomato-based. Good.

Yeah, yeah, we're drinking some like watery ketchup. It's like, oh, okay, cool. Do you, do you like a mechalata or anything?

Oh, I love micheladas, dude. They're so good. See, Nick's all about that. I'm fine with it, but it's like, it's not the thing that I'm, like,

going for. I got to have a few before I get to that. And I, even a Bloody Mary is just like, it's too much. I just don't like it. I hear you,

I never liked the Bloody Marys when I was a drinker, but I could handle a mechalada on occasion. I feel like because it's a bit savory, I drink, I tend to drink these slower. My problem is sweet things or like sodas and stuff like that. I just down instantly. So I kind of want to like sip and

enjoy the drink on a flight. You want something like unguzzleable. Exactly. Do you drink multiple on a flight if the flight's long enough or is it a one drink only scenario no matter what? If it's a long enough flight, I'll probably switch to something else later. I also found a picture from the end of the trip that came right after this or right before this one where we We were in the airport, I think, just getting coffee. And they sell these weird, like, cake things on a stick for, like, five fucks. I forgot about this. And I was looking at this...

Yeah, I was looking... Yeah, I was looking at the little raccoon cake pop. I was like, ooh, what's that? And then I thought, oh, it's like animated. How are they... How are the eyes moving on this cake pop? And then I realized it was just a bunch of flies walking around on the eyes of this raccoon... Covered in...

Covered in bugs. It was repulsive It was pretty gross It genuinely It looked like the raccoon was looking around Oh I think I threw my coffee away After we started out

That's fair I was sort of taken aback That you didn't know what a cake pop was Immediately Gavin But then I remembered You're not a You haven't had chicken winks And I get it

That's true yeah It's just been stuff I've walked past Without really take it in In the park Yeah also like a cake pop is like the least you thing I can imagine.

I just don't know like when does someone crave a cake pop like what time of day is that? I think it could be any time. It seems like a 3pm kind of crave. So Nick just said whenever

but he was very restrictive about the bloody merry and this is what I'm talking about like you allow and disallow so strange. Because pancakes are essentially just a cake. I think cake is cake.

I'd like to see maybe we'll build this out as we discover it, but I'd like to see a list of Nick's rules for when to digest. Oh, that'd be fun. Oh, this is such a good idea.

He, he goes feral at 100% eat, like he'll take leftovers, but then he'll be like, very, he's like, I haven't eaten all day and it's like 2.30 p.m. And it's like, why did you do that? He's like, because we're having Arby's.

And it's like, that's not, that's bad. That's not good. Don't live this way. Nick lives in, like restrained chaos with him like he knows that he's going to lose his fucking mind around food so he has

to restrict everything else around that moment to prepare for it I feel like requires a lot of discipline to be that undisciplined in a moment it's a ton you just have to not eat breakfast a lot of the time and then hope that lunch isn't delayed Oh god damn

But we work with Michael, so it's always delayed. It doesn't, you know, never a time. I'd love a pie chart of just what Nick is worried about at any given moment. Interesting. The percentages of different things, like a Nick's brain. It's sort of like when you go into the mountains and there's a cut out of Smokey the Baron that says how dangerous the forest fire bread is for the day. Just Nick's sliders.

So like the trees, like watering the trees, it goes up and down on different days. Like, oh, this isn't yellow. It's like, oh, today's a watering day. So you've got to like figure all that out. Every other day, Eric. You guys know how we didn't record the podcast last week? Yep. That was miserable for me.

I missed you guys. And so I was so lonely when we should have been recording the podcast. I decided to go to a coffee shop and pretend like I was going to record a podcast with you guys. And what I did do is, I was like, I'll just come up with a bunch of, content for the podcast, and then I tried, and I didn't come up with much, but I did come up with a game I want to play with you guys that I thought would be fun. Love it. It's called It's Them or Us, and this, I came up with this game based off of an article I was reading about how many humans certain animals kill a year. Oh! And I thought it would be interesting to see if

you guys can correctly guess some of these figures. So, for instance, if I said, who kills more humans a year. A hippopotamus or a crocodile? What would you say? Hippo. We used to be food. Hippo. Yeah, I feel like hippo seems to be the one you wouldn't pick, but. Yeah, I think that the hip, like, I think we're all picking hippo because, uh, I think hippo is the thing that kills, like, the most people. Like, it's like a, like an insanely, it's like an absurd number of kills from a hippo every year. I think you're a hippo, I feel like crocodiles are way more common around residential areas. I think, I think there are, I think there are a lot of hippos in a lot of areas, uh, that we aren't in. Like African cities and towns, that's just, yeah, I think, I think there are just a lot more hippos around other people that aren't us.

Well, I'm not around a crocodile either. You're applying a level of logic, Eric, beyond me. I'm picking hippo because there's a game around how hungry they are. Oh, that's great. Andrew, great. Yeah, it's not called hungry, hungry, hungry crocodile. What was that crocodile game where you push the teeth down and it bites you? Well, that's the dentist. He's not hungry.

Yeah, we were doing dental stuff. That's a dental thing. He's getting like a root canal or whatever. Good point. Yeah. Yeah. So when I was at the coffee shop coming up with this idea, this is exactly what I hoped would happen. This is wonderful.

Thank you so much. Hippopotamus's kill on average. 500 humans per year. Crocodiles kill on average. 1,000 humans a year. The crocodile is twice as dangerous to a human as a hippo. Wow, that's crazy. You know what that tells me?

What's that? Is that they're meaner than a hippo. Because a hippo is doing half the numbers while hungry. Crocodiles just out there killing people because it likes it. Well, I didn't do any population searches, but I'm going to guess there's more crocodiles than hippos in the world. I'm just on a hunch there, but, all right, you guys ready for the next round? Yeah, I am.

Who kills more humans in one calendar year? A snake or a dog? Dog. I'm going to say snake, but I think it's because you want to prove a point about snakes. That's what I'm going, I'm going Jeff logic on the snake. I'm going, I'll go dog. When I think of snakes, I think of Anaconda, the movie, and that eats a lot of people. When I think of dogs, I think an airbud, which I haven't seen all of them, but I don't think he's ever killed anyone in one of those films.

Well, and I think a dog, I think a kujo, but okay, Gavin, what, did you weigh in? I dogged. Okay. Dogs kill 25,000 humans a year. Way more than hippos and crocodiles. However, a snake could kill 50,000 humans a year. Holy shit. Twice as dangerous as a dog.

Wait, snakes do kill... Snakes kill 50,000 humans. I mean, I thought he said could. And I'm like, it seems like we're getting a little. They have the venom capabilities. Snakes kill 50,000 humans a year. Dogs kill 25,000. So snakes about twice as dangerous.

25,000 seems wrong? Yeah. Seems low or high? It seems way high. No? I don't think so. I mean, that's some mean dogs. People train dogs to be mean a lot.

People train dogs. Dogs to be mean a lot I'm frankly surprised 50,000 people get killed by snakes every year Like that's even a guy who hates snakes That seems high to me But some of these numbers are fucking wild Let's take it back down a notch then

Who do you think is more dangerous to a human A deer or an elephant I think a deer would cause more car accidents I think that's what it is I think it's got to be a deer not through any sort of like attack But it's like a I'm gonna cross the road and it's like, don't do that.

And I think that's... Although there are those elephants that go through like a must or something where they start leaking from the holes in their head and they just go on a rampage and start just tear it up through people. They do what?

Yeah, he's right. They get leaky. Now, are we talking about overall statistics or is it yearly? It's yearly. This is an average per year. Because I've played Dynasty Warriors

and there is that group that rides the elephants in the battle and attacks people. So that would boost numbers. but that's not happening now. No, that's like, we're talking current times. Yeah, I don't. I'm going to agree with them.

I don't think it's the elephant. The elephant is responsible for about 500 human deaths per year. Deer are responsible for about 130 deaths a year. Whoa. Yeah, not nearly as dangerous as you'd think. For bad at this. A lot of car accidents, but not all of them are fatal.

Yeah. And I don't think that deer get the blame for Lyme disease because it's a deer tick. But I could be wrong. Okay. I got two more if you guys are still into this new idea. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Cool. Uh, next one. Who kills more humans a year? Mosquitoes or tapeworms or tapeworms? Skeetos. Has to be mosquitoes because the disease, right? They carry disease and got the malaria. A tapeworm, I don't even really know what it is to me honest. Jeff. Everyone else said mosquito. I'm going tapeworm. Okay. I gotta go for the win here, man. I appreciate that. Mr. Mosquito is a real problem to society. I think it's like millions. I was blown away. Would you like to guess how many

mosquitoes a tapeworm or how many mosquitoes? How many humans a mosquito or a tapeworm kill every year? Well, actually, you know what? Before I lock in, I still have my hand on the piece here. Let me Google tapeworm so I know what it looks like. Because I don't think I know what a tapeworm looks like just based That's not going to be a fun good one. No. It's just like a white thing. It's a white one. Yeah.

It lives in your intestines. It lives inside you. Yeah. No, it's, uh, I'm, I'm sticking with my, the mosquito. Pretty safe bet. Mosquitoes kill about a million humans a year. It's by far the deadliest creature on earth. And that was the reason I was reading the article in the first place is I read that the headline,

the mosquitoes kill more than a million humans a year, but far more than humans kill. by the way, far more deadly than even humans are to other humans. Tapeworms only kill about 2,000. I just couldn't come up with anything else weird to compare it with. That was kind of off the wall. Last one I have for you guys. This is a fun one. Who do you think kills more humans a year?

Scorpions or lions? Oh. Interesting. Okay, let's work through this. The thing about tapeworm. I'm going to go with lions. I'm going to go with lions. Okay. I'm not even going to explain it. lions.

I'm going to go Scorps because you never really find a lion in your shoe. Not usually. It doesn't mean never. Are all scorpions

killers? No. The thing. No. Right? They're not. I also thought when I was a kid

I thought if you got stung by a scorpion, you would die. It's not true. It just hurts a lot, you know? There's scorpions all over Texas. See, I assumed it was like a snake situation

where some of them are poisonous and some of them are not. I think there's varying levels. Yeah. Huh. And then I think certain people can be allergic to scorpion venom too, probably. There better be a scorpion that has just like insta-kill venom or else that is a horrendous way to die. Huh.

They look good under a black light. Yeah. Do they? Terrify. Yeah. Look cool. Interesting. Like HR Geiger.

it. Scorpion's a mortal combat character. That has kills. That's pretty vicious ones. But, no, I'm gonna, it's a scorpion. Okay.

Thank you. Everybody weigh in at this point now? I can't remember. Okay. The answer is, scorpions. Scorpions kill 3,250 humans a year. Lions only kill about 250

people. a year. Lions need to get those numbers up, dude. If they're going to be king of the jungle or whatever, they've got to figure out their shit. That's not enough. Lions kill less people than hippos. Damn.

Hippos should start killing lions. Lions kill less than elephants. I thought the lion was the king of the jungle. I guess not. Sad. I wonder what animal kills the most humans by accident in a year. Like as a, like the elephant that sat on that guy's head

and his head went up his ass. I don't think it was intentional. Like accidental animal murders. It'd be interesting to know who has the highest accident or body count. I know you're meaning comedically, I feel like it's a mosquito, right? I don't think that's an accident. I think it is. I don't think they know

what they're doing. You think it's it on purpose? You think the mosquito's like, I don't think there's an intent. That's like us drinking an orange juice and being like, I didn't mean to. I don't, I don't, what? And in what situation

are we passing something on to the orange juice? What are you talking about? Yeah, but the, you your mouth isn't great for oranges I assume my point what are you saying I'm saying the mosquito flies onto someone

and it sucks their blood you can't do that by accident but their intent isn't to kill yeah there's no thought of it's not a malicious act they don't know what they're doing I still want to know about the orange juice an allergy. Now in this analogy, Gavin, is it

pulp or pulplus? I'm trying to really picture your orange juice here. Some pole. Fresh out of the orange. I almost said apple. Yeah, it's got the pulp. Yeah, you're using a straw because that's more like a mosquito. Don't talk to Nick about straws. This is not going to go well. Oh. Got some straw shit. Dude. Have you never seen this guy with, oh, he's so anti-straughts

insane. He sucks the top of a soda like a titty. Oh yeah, we talked about this. It's a freak. He's a freak, dude. No, no. Just take the lid off. I leave it on in your car because I don't want to spill it. Straight me as like you'd be a Twizzler straw guy.

I could see Nick doing that. I could see Nick done that. He could put down the milth tities for a Twizzler straw. Yeah, he does what he knows. Bio-degradable straw. Now, we were talking about animals killing or whatever and this is the thing

the community keeps sending over and over but I thought was there's like another wrinkle to it which I thought was interesting. The shadows of doubt snail nemesis thing that is the snail going to kill you and all this stuff. What I didn't know

and that they posted is that the, it's inspired it says in the game inspired by Gavin and that might be the first time I've ever seen it outside of rooster teeth with credit to Gavin. That's Uber Hux

and over. Is that James right there? Uber Haxor and Nova? Sure is. It is, right? Cool. It's a couch up. Oh, it is.

Hey, what's up, buddy? I think it's a mod. I think I saw him at the final RtX. It is a game modifier that they put in, and it is the snail combat thing based on your concept, which I thought was so cool that they actually gave you credit. They actually gave you credit for this thing, which I never ever seen. I love that. Can we do a regulation gameplay in this?

I'm sure we could I don't see why not I don't see why not Gab I think you have to steer oh shit this is your creation and action dude this is awesome yeah good luck good luck

he says while drinking his bloody merry mix that is even cooler than when Borderlands definitely named that armor after us oh get real come on we need to talk about borderlands I'm ready to upset some people

in this, this, this podcast. Let's go for it. Borderlands had an issue on launch, on consoles. I mean, had various ones. But one of them was it had a memory leak thing where it would adjust the quality of your gameplay, the longer you played it. So I believe when you load in,

it's 60 frames per second. And then it would drop to 30 eventually. We've talked about before, these are all very important things to Gavin in a way that doesn't register, with me in the same way that food is very important to me doesn't register the same way with Gavin Eric reached out we're talking about borderlands and he's like hey you should back out of the game and then reload into it that's a way to solve this memory leak issue it resets

and I've been playing for quite a while at that point it was a it was a long session and I was like yeah okay I'll do that I'll try that just to see how it looks and I was blown away when it reset back to 60 I had been playing on 30 I assume for quite a while but I didn't notice. I had zero realization that it had changed. And so I loaded in and I went, well, this looks great. This is, wow, fluid, very fluid.

This is awesome. And I played for a while. And then I'd leave it on and I'd come back and I'd play and I wouldn't notice it. And then something, I'd go play a different game and I'd come back and I'd reboot it. And then I'd go, whoa, this looks so much better. I have zero awareness of the shift from 60 to 30.

Is it gradual? Yes. And I need you. to know that it was so bad that I had to Google what the fuck was going on because I was playing this game and it was like giving me a headache and I'm like I'm on like performance 60 heavy Xbox like this should not be happening and someone's like oh yeah there's like this issue quit the game come back into it and I'm like oh fucking solved it oh my god it was like it was like somebody kicked mud all over your glasses and then you finally wiped them clean and I'm like man I just

don't know how I was playing like that. It was crazy. And I said it to Andrew. And then Andrew's like, oh, wow. Didn't even notice. Didn't even notice. It makes me, I noticed the difference when I load into it again. But then it goes away and I don't notice the going away part.

How it is like it's headache inducing. Because it's not just giving you like 60 and then all of a sudden 30. It's like, here's 60. Here's 48. Here's 41 and a half. Like, it's so brutal to play. It's crazy. It would take me, I feel like as soon as I looked from left to right, I'd be like, ooh, need to reboot.

Oh, it was, it was bad. I'm surprised they, are they going to patch it? Like, do you remember when, I think they have? Oh, okay. Like, Oblivion occasionally would have like a really long load screen. And then they came out and said it was actually the game rebooting behind the load screen and the background to fix memory leaks. That's wild.

It is like, Borderlands 4 is a game that I really like because I like the gameplay of Borderlands. No way. Was it a complete game when they released it? It was like not finished. They don't do that anymore. No, not at all. It was pretty crazy. Didn't notice.

It's fun. It's fun. And we hunted for the extra medium shield. Oh, no. On a Twitch stream. It was a good time. Can I locked it in? This episode is brought to you by Peloton.

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Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Can I talk about a conversation I had with Andrew over text that I had to end immediately? Well, before, I'm not done. I'm not done with this. I have a second. Yeah, Gavin. So Gavin, uh, no.

I have two things. The answer was no. So just, well, no, yeah, just before we, I don't want to pivot back to Borderlands. Okay. I have a second problem with Borderlands for. We streamed it when it came out. We did a five-hour big stream. And as the person who is providing the footage and the gameplay of the stream,

I didn't want to be in menus all that much. I wanted to avoid going into settings or menus as much as possible. I just wanted game constantly. However, in Borderlands 4, there is a weird, their reward system is strange, where you'll complete a quest and you'll get mission rewards, but you have to go into your inventory to apply them, like to unlock them. you just get like a pop-up that says hey rewards go get them by the time we finish the stream i think i had 35 of them because i wasn't i didn't want to engage with it because we're streaming

but then it just became a problem of i don't want to spend that much time in the menus however everything you do in the game that's like a quest gives you those at this stage of the game i've completed every activity i've done all the side quests i've done the story uh And it's caused a problem where I'm now, I'm done with the game, but I've never touched my rewards because I don't want to go through the thing. Oh, what? Whoa. So I have 305 mission rewards that I haven't interacted with because I just don't want to spend the time sorting through whatever it's going to give me. But wouldn't that make, wouldn't that make the game different, like better, easier?

Probably would have made it easier. I assume I don't know what the rewards even give, but I have three hundred five of them. by the end of the game. And it would have made the game slower because he would have been in the menus all that time. At least he had a pretty seamless experience, I guess. I did. It was an unsolvable problem where I had like 35

and I was like, I don't want to deal with 35 things. And I kept playing and then it was 50. For the sake of the audience, you would rather never spend any time in the menus. But instead, I assume, have to deal with everyone saying, why aren't you using rewards? Well, yeah, that did come up

when we did the extra media stream. Some people did notice the reward situation I had going. Yeah, that's been a problem. I've been stuck. I don't know what to do. I'm done with the game, so I don't know. I guess when the DLC comes out, I'll look at it. I have no idea.

Did you 100% get all the achievements? Yeah, I didn't get all the achievements, but I've like completed all the side quests and activities and all that. So, 305 rewards. I assume there's cool stuff in there. I don't know. You could just do a stream looking through him. Oh, gosh.

Yeah. What do you get, Eric, is it like guns? Uh, it's, I mean, any of these weapons, boosts, things like that, but also a lot of cosmetics. Hmm. A lot of cosmetics for your little robot. Like, I'm so, it's so crazy to see your robot look like that instead of a bad-eared freak with a robot face that's like totally, like a TV screen that's, like, totally different. It's, that's crazy. That does make sense

because I am missing an achievement that is collect 60 cosmetics. Oh, you're about to get them. It's 30% of players have gotten that achievement. Right, but now here's what you're going to have to do. You're going to have to, like, clear out your inventory and then unlock these rewards and sell stuff. And then unlock more rewards and sell stuff.

And like, you're probably going to have to do that two or three times. Oh. I mean, how many inventory slots do you have? He is seven. Whatever the maxes. You get like three items per reward too sometimes. Oh boy. It's gonna take a while.

So is it a good game? Yeah, I like it. If you like borderlands at all, it's a really fun, it's a really fun game. It's borderlands, but it's green and not desert. Yeah, absolutely. You go to desert places, like the map's huge. It's like an insanely huge map. it's wild um a lot of like open world stuff but i mean i like it i just wouldn't recommend it to

anyone who hasn't really played or cares about borderlands at all i think that's fair yeah and before we get to gavin's thing can i just say that we have the pigeon drop this friday at 4 p.m. on twitch dot tv slash the regulation pod and then everything will go on sale at regulation store dot com at 4 10 pm so it's the pigeon shirt and then it's the is what else is in that drop i was going to say patch hat pigeon patch a reboot on our patches or refurb fresh on the patches. So if you missed them last time, and then the pigeon shirt, which very cool stuff, and you'll be able to get those 4 p.m. Central Time is when we'll go live on Twitch, just like regular on Friday, and then 4.10 p.m. Central time is when RegulationStore.com

or RegulationStore.com or RegulationStore. We'll have everything there so you can grab your pigeon drop merch. That's so exciting. I'm very excited for the patch hat. I think that's such a cool idea. The refresh of the patches is going to be fun. Yeah, it's awesome. I'm so excited about that. No patch shirt, right? It's just the patch hat. Yeah, I don't think for a patch, the patch

shirt resupply will be in, it's going to be a while. Those are like custom cut and sew garments, so it takes time. I think my favorite part about the pigeon merch is it's something that, it's such a great

inside joke where people will see it that don't have any context for why that thing exists I hope so I made seven websites well they know despite how exotic it is they're familiar with the bird

yeah I would assume I just love the idea of somebody walking down the street with like the pigeon shirt on or the pigeon patch on their hat and somebody looking at it and just going it's a pigeon and then just continuing their day just appreciating on a totally different level

Yeah, well, I mean, there'd be probably less than 1% of people that would look at it and go, what is that? And those people are Jack. It's Jack. What type? What? Is this some fantasy bird?

Oh, God. Speaking of merchandise and new stuff coming in, Gavin, you were gone when we did the Larry King unboxing, but I did that we were in the opposite playing Portal 2 yesterday. So I showed him all of the items. Hell yeah.

Was kind of wanting to get your impression. I held off on asking what you thought of it there. I kind of wanted to get your impression on camera here. I was a complete insanity. I went back and watched that break the end of that break show too. I think my favorite part was you guys opening giant packages expecting them to be keys. But damn, I think you have enough stuff to like recreate Larry King's entire office at this point.

Yeah, and I think that has to be our stream. needs to be a Larry King shrine now because we have so much shit. It should just be a big executive wooden desk with Larry King on the sign on the front. I hung his variety picture already. I just got to get frames for the rest of the stuff, including the rat

looking at the rat in the moon picture for Eric. So insane. The break show, which is a thing that we brought back, if you guys haven't seen it, we do live on Mondays and then it goes up on Fridays on YouTube. It has been so much fun to come back and it's been great because, boy, we're getting a lot of mail from 2022

that we're opening now in almost 2026. Gavin, you were there when we got the... When we got the custom-made little garments for all of our dead animals? He was not there for that. Oh, you weren't there for that? I opened up mail and it was like Here's a little

Here's a little like collar thing for Sam Here's this is for Henry This is for error Oh just long dead Yeah But luckily Luckily we have Albert who is a real dog And then Andrew has a limitless supply of fake cats

No I have two real cats It was I would argue even worse than that Gavin Where they were unsure who Sam was at the table when they saw this, and they were like, Sam, was that, was that Andrew's cat? So I had to come in as Dilbot and be like,

yeah, that's my dead cat. My cat does that's dead. Yeah, but we can't trust your cat stuff. I was pretty sure it was your dead cat, but I didn't know if you talked about it publicly and stuff, and so I don't want to like spill the beans on your tragedy. So, you know, appreciate it. My favorite part about the Larry King thing

was I did say to you guys that I got a few things outside of the keys ahead of time. It never occurred to me that you guys would have a process of thinking that it was a bit being pulled on you that we didn't end up with keys at all. When Jeff opened the box that had zero keys in at first, completely by accident,

I was so happy watching along. It was fantastic. I couldn't have played out better. Why did you get a lot of shit? The fan art was the cheapest item, I believe, that went at his auction. I think I was the only person that bid and I bid the minimum amount, I want to say.

And the Shrek stuff was just really, funny and it wasn't like on the scale of i think i got the shrek stuff and the fan art stuff for half the price of one of the key lots so they were cheap items and there's more stuff on the way i got uh good andrew's definitely sharping sharping and she's definitely shopping at like the marshals of celebrity auctions he's definitely finding the bargain deals i because it's tied to my everything gets shipped to my house yeah and And because I run the credit card, I see it come through. So I have an advantage in that I know what's coming.

This motherfucker's not done. Let me just say that. No, but I also want to be clear that this is an irregular occurrence. There just happened to be another thing that I thought was very specific to the show that you guys would like. Gavin and Nick, maybe not so much. But Eric and Jeff, I think, will be all about it. Interesting. And it's cool.

It's cool shit that I think is. fun and I'm excited for you guys dope. Another situation where it costs way more to ship than to buy. Yep. Yep. So I think there's going to probably be a long pause after the, although there is a Joan Rivers key, but

I want that Joan Rivers key pretty badly. I got to be honest. Yeah, we're going to go with the one Joan Rivers key and then I think we're out of the auction game for a while. I like that you said this is not a regular thing. The thing that you've been doing regularly all year. What do you mean? Regularly all year. Bide shit left it right.

No, what do you mean? Prior to the king thing, what did I buy? Skateball thing. Guillotine. Cups. Okay, that's not me though. That was a whole greed on. Like, me is not we.

That is a we thing. That would be like me saying, you guys have been buying stuff left and right. You got health insurance. Got an office. That's a good point. What are you saying? We were all involved in the guillotine for sure. Yeah, it was.

That was. was not a shadow thing by me. That was agreed upon by everybody. Yeah, it wasn't like Andrew surprised us with the snake eyes suit or anything. That's that. We had forewarning. So, Gavin, you had a thing you wanted to talk about

in relation to us. Well, we were talking about drawers, and I just, and you did a little drawer. You need more context for that. Well, I'll post the text. Gavin went, Gavin went away somewhere. I asked him how it went, and his response was top drawer,

which was a thing, Or I understood what he meant, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone respond that way, which then made me think about what does, like, why does that mean what it means? Like, the top, is the top drawer the best drawer? Of course. Do you put your best item in the drawers that are on top as just evaluating? Did you never, well, I guess you did go to school that much, but the, uh, my, my primary school had drawers. We didn't have lockers, we just had drawers.

and every year that you would get like a sign a different draw and all the people at the top were like oh yeah

I got the best draw and some people had drawers like down by the ground that sucked no I went to school kindergarten through grade 7

pretty normal experience did not have that I think that might be hyper specific to your school well probably it wasn't big enough to have lockers

but the Andrew did a draw a drawer ring of how he ranked draws and I've got a poster here to me

it was just completely unhinged. So on a 1 to 10 scale, one being the worst drawer, 10 being the most points, the best drawer you could have. Firstly, I love that he did a thing that has five drawers on a 1 to 10 scale when he could have just ranked the drawers

one to five. And also, he's got two nines. I came up, I came up with the scoring system before I came up with the drawer. That's the first counterpoint. Second counterpoint is I think there are some drawers that are equally good.

So they get the same amount of points. Why would the top draw not be better than... Why is the second draw the best? So the second drawer is the best, because it doesn't have the weight of a lower drawer could suffer. It's easily accessible. You don't have to bend down to get it. And also, it just feels a little bit more secure to me than the top drawer. There's something about it being roof open when you open the top drawer.

the top drawer that intimidates me it feels less secure a little bit it feels less like a I don't know like there's there's weight on the second

on the one below it there's a whole drawer above it dude I listen all jokes aside I could not agree with this image more would you have ranked it

one to ten with two nights exactly I I 100% understand what he's doing and I get it and I'm right there with him

the thing that I didn't expect someone to be completely aligned with me I could see the case for the nine being the top drawer and the second drawer from the top

being flipped. Now, I could see people feeling that way. I don't feel that way, but I get it. I think the rest of my rankings are completely locked in and undeniably fine. Okay, let me ask you this. How is the one above the bottom worse than the bottom? Yeah, I'll

explain that very easily. The bottom drawer of this drawer setup, I can open with my feet. I can't open the next one with my feet. So, So if I'm looking for something, and I'm like, I got to check the drawer, it is so much more annoying to look at the second from the bottom than it is the bottom. I don't think we went through all of them, so I'm just going to go through.

I'm going to read and give the point total for the thing. Top drawer, nine out of ten. Second from the top, 10 out of 10. Perfect, flawless drawer. Third down, nine out of ten. Equally as good as the top drawer. The drawer below it, the fourth drawer, one out of ten. Awful, miserable experience.

bottom drawer three out of ten not ideal but better than the one above it there's no way one out of ten borders a drawer that's nine out of ten how is it that much more miserable

going for the third one than the four because I can reach I can reach through how I'm imagining how big this drawer is I can open it with my hand without really having to bend down you're not a bending down guy

can I ask you a question Andrew yeah what are you putting in your tin drawer Oh, it's the 10 drawer So that's another thing I'm putting important documents and stuff In my 10 drawer Wait, this isn't for clothes

This is not for like boxes and stocks I didn't assume that these were putting clothing In these things Oh, these are clothing drawers My 10 drawers is my t-shirt Documents It's surely going to be like You use every day

Like box it documents Okay Well this is a different Maybe he's getting his documents every day. You don't know how he has to shove it and organize his documents. He's constantly getting into his documents. Number 10, this is, we haven't even, I didn't consider this of what we're putting in these things. For me, let me explain to you. Number nine, that's my junk drawer. That's stuff I just throwing it in there. It's the most accessible. Which nine?

Top nine. The top nine. Starting from the top working down. Top nine. That's my junk drawer. Anything that I, like, I'm not, yeah, just throwing it in there. Second drawer, 10, that's important documents. That's my important stuff. of value. It's going in the 10. Yeah, below the junk. Junk first, then important documents. Right. Got it. Trick, trick the thieves you come in. Want to take your documents. Oh, no, this is a full of junk.

Nine, realistically, we're probably putting some retro game consoles in there. That's like a Wii is in there. What? What is this? What room? What room is this in in your home? This is in my bedroom. You have a junk drawer in the top shelf.

of your bedroom. Okay. Okay, yeah, keep going. Keep going. So where my cabinet is. I'm so excited for the one. Consoles. Yeah, we got some consoles and stuff.

Number one, that is probably going to be some video games and cables. Maybe some DVDs, some Blu-Rays. You got some blu-rays in there. You got some extra cables for the consoles. Maybe a controller is in one. It is, once again, a general media drawer, but not consoles. Because that's where the one above it, that's where they are. You need to have more access to consoles and games.

The bottom drawer Gotta change these consoles out Have them look cool on these shelves Do you want to play a game? Fuck you The bottom drawer I'm probably putting in Old books

Probably some books An insane person From school that I haven't returned That I should have returned That I keep meaning to send back You're just listing stuff That doesn't go in a drawer From the seventh grade?

Uh They're probably from like the 10th grade because they would mail me books for school stuff and oh you know what i love forget to about books i love being able to get them out with my feet well it's it's a thing where i'll go oh i'm looking for this thing where is it i'm going to check every cabinet just to be thorough oh yeah it's a bunch of like school old school stuff and paper and probably some printer paper goes in three the bottom drawer i'm basing this off of how my filing cabinet is it was.

Right. I diverred so hard from him when we got to what goes in drawers. Nah, man, you were on board. You and Andrew, you and Andrew on a boat in the middle of the ocean, man, you too.

I'm right there with him. You and the homie. 9-10-9-1-3. I'm right there with him on that. I just, it's just, what he's choosing to use them for is just buff up. You don't put old books in the bottom.

You know, books that I don't want that I can't be bothered to return that are pointless to return because they have stopped using them 20 years ago. Those books are out of circulation. They've been reprinted 18 times. Yeah.

But what you're not considering, what you're not considering is you can open that drawer with your foot. Potentially. No, I am considering that. That's why it's my three as well. I also open that drawer with my foot. Here's the problem with the clothing drawer. The clothing drawer is I don't need that many drawers for it.

Shirts. You're naked all the time. Yeah, it's not just keeping pants anywhere. Shirts. Top drawer. Shorts. Maybe underwear to you, but mainly short. shorts, second from the top. Third, definitely underwear. Fourth, socks. What am I doing with

that fifth drawer? What else do I need? Swet pants? Old books? Yeah, sweaters, winter gear is what goes in my bottom. I don't wear. There's no winter gear. It's just all round wear. Shorts and shirts. Shorts, leave shirts. I got no use. Like, that's why I think I don't even think clothes, because I don't, why do I have a five drawer? Why do I have a five drawer? Why do I have this cabin. Everything you listed in your drawers could be in a box in storage.

Or in the trash. Well, no, not the trash. A box in storage is worse than the second bottom drawer. Box and storage is so much worse. I have to go find the thing. You don't need the schoolbooks. No, I don't.

We can throw that drawer away. Yes, trash! You can trash that one. But the console cables? It's not even your lowest ranked drawer. Yeah. And you're throwing it away? I just sort of pretend that that drawer doesn't exist, but it's not an annoyance to get you.

So put it at zero. What? You never use it. It's still more convenient to open than the fourth drawer. It doesn't open the goddamn thing. Doesn't open it. He says that he doesn't open it. I can't help it if he's not using it properly.

It is still more easier to open with your foot than the fourth drawer is. The fourth drawer is in a weird in between where you're like, do I lift my leg a little more? That's uncomfortable. Or do I bend up? over, that's uncomfortable. I could not have predicted that the dresser would have no clothes in it. Mind blown. Never crossed my mind that it would.

Crazy. Yeah, your top drawers where your socks and your underwear go. Second drawers where your t-shirts go. Third drawers where your shorts or your pants go, depending on what time of the year it is. Fourth drawer is where you flip the other ones. And then the bottom drawer is where you put like your gloves in your sweatshirt or whatever. Also, with all the shit you've got in there, like cables and stuff, there's no way that drawers close in nice.

There's no way the drawer above that cable drawer is going to close. good? No, it's fine. Is it? It's fine. Yeah. You don't have one of them that's like sticking open a little bit? Mm-hmm. Oh? No. Is this a drawer situation?

Like, or do you have this exact setup? Is this exact thing in your... No. No, I don't know. This is just an example. Oh, so you don't actually have this. No. I just Google. Oh. Cabinet or whatever. But, wait. Wait.

So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. This entire scenario is fictional. You don't actually keep books. Well, no, I used to, so I have a filing cabinet in my room. Here's the thing. I have a filing cabinet in my room, but when my partner moved in, they took it over. They have clothes in it.

Wait, wait, so you don't have, you got junk in your dresser and clothes in the filing cabinet. Go ahead. No, I have clothes in my closet. Okay. And I got a little basket that I put my own. underwear in. Why did you run us through this and it wasn't even real? Because you said top drawer. Yeah, Gavin, why brought up the drawers? Yeah, Gavin, why did you say that? Yeah, Gavin, why did you say that?

I'm not saying why did you say that? I'm saying that he, you initiated it. You made me think about drawers. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. If this is anyone's fault, Gavin, it's yours. No, I'm not blaming Gavin. It was so specific about what was in these drawers and it, nothing, you don't have any of that in drawers. Well, I used to. In a filing cabinet. You used to have... Okay, you have books in the bottom of your filing cabinet. I did.

Document. See, that makes more sense. You ran me around just then, and I didn't appreciate it. Where the school books now? Yeah. Actually, I don't know. Because I don't think I have that... I think I gave up all the drawers of my filing cabinet.

Talking to you is like reading the Google AI result. Oh. Oh god damn So when I texted that to you, you just assume that I own that cabinet? No, I just assumed you had like a five... I didn't assume it was that exact one, but I assume you were in a five-drawery. Yeah. Well, let me look at my cabinet.

It's four. It's a four drawers. Can you re-rank it? Well, actually, there's a little pull-out. It's technically five. Can we have a picture of the filing cabinet? Yeah. I just don't trust that.

whatever he's going to send is going to be a picture of his filing cabinet like his fucking cat situation. Eric, start Googling four drawer filing cabinet. You got it. I'm locking it in. Do a reverse Google search.

I wouldn't have guessed for a second that you didn't have this exact scenario happening. I want him to send an image like this that is just like most pristine. The bed bath and beyond ass. Look in room where he's like,

this is my filing cabinet. Andrew lives in a CB2 catalog. Brookstone-ass-looking house. Okay, so it's not, it's like, wait, it's a metal filing cabinet from an office? What, as opposed to like a bedroom filing cabinet?

Like, what are the filing cabinet is there? I just, I thought that he was just using that term wrong. No, we've, we've heard about the filing cabinet before. I don't remember. I'm floored. Do you put labels on the front since you can put labels in, like, that way you know where everything is?

No. I just know. Yeah, I'm crazy. Sorry. Sorry, sorry. Sorry I asked that question. I'm nuts. No, no. I didn't mean to deliver that with a tone that implied that. So how many draws when you hit that stage of your relationship when you were able to give up drawers,

how many draws did you give to your partner? All of them. Oh. Okay. Well, they needed, I didn't have anywhere else for it. So what happened to your stuff? I don't know what happened to my stuff. We have to do we have to end this.

We can't end now. What do you mean? What the fuck? We can't go deeper. We're going to come out the other side. I just don't think that there's like, where else do you go? Where's my stuff?

I don't know is not what I thought was about to happen. I'm floored. Well, there you have it. Another episode of the regulation podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Boy, you're going to want to tune in for episode 75 when we all find out what happened to Andrew's stuff. Do you know what happened to it? Send us a let us know on our tip line.

Do we have a tip line? I'm pretty sure we do. Yeah, it's Twitch.tv slash the regulation pod at 4 p.m. this Friday when we do the pigeon drop in this regulation store. Dot store. All right. Thank you very much. Oh, I'm fucking. I'm like beside myself. I don't know what to do. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Coo, coo, co, co, I'm pigeoning us out.

Coo, co, co, co, co.