F**kface - Figuring Out What Andrew Doesn't Know // Into the ZimmerZone [37]

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Geoff's big accomplishment, the best videos before or after an event, XXX every Tuesday 50 cents, and more. Sponsored by ExpressVPN ( http://expressvpn.com/face) and Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. And exactly on time, like always. Hello and welcome to another episode of F*** Face. I believe this is episode 37. My name is Jeff Ramsey and with me as always, Gavin Free and Andrew Panton. How's it going, guys? I'm very confused.

You've done this bit already. I'm just showing up on time and starting the show. It's not a bit. The start of the show is not a bit, Andrew. Did you already do some again? No, I just started. I turned on and started the show. I did the intro. We always forget to do the intro or we argue

about the intro, so I thought I'd just get it out of the way early. Andrew, what's he doing? I don't... I feel like he's doing the thing where he was trying to be late on time, but he was early for his late on time. I feel like we've done this. No, I'm not doing that at all. I showed up on time, as always, and started the

show with the intro. I... Okay. I literally began the podcast the way one begins a podcast at the prescribed time. It was textbook podcast starting. You did a great job. I would just say you started before Gavin got here. That'd be my

only question. Yeah, but I knew I had faith he was going to show up and that if he hadn't, if he didn't, we could cover because we know we're professionals and we can vamp. And sure enough, I saw him pop in before I finished my sentence. So I at three which was about one minute ago and i joined and all i heard was jeff say i'm jeff and uh with me gavin and i said hello i couldn't have been more on time i don't think it was perfect gavin you're on time i mean i wasn't recording i missed the first part why do you never record how are people who haven't shown up yet always recording before you because i wait i wait for everybody to show up jeff just joined and

started the show immediately i wasn't ready i always start recording before i joined so do i ready to go from second one yeah the problem is i show up like 15 minutes right but once again that's your fault and it's pointless and you were just sitting there in the Discord for 15 minutes twiddling your dick with Eric at any point in that countdown you could have hit record. Yeah, or like you see that 2.59 showing up, you could do it then. That's fair. I don't know, Jeff, was it last week or two weeks ago,

you're like, I have a story I want to tell before we start, and you teased it. I probably started at 2.59 and 45 seconds and joined on three that was last week i believe andrew and i told that story no i mean i wasn't there for the first time because i knocked over my computers and spilled water everywhere so i missed it because i kept plugging my headphone jack into my microphone jack. So I'm smart. Right. By the way, I went back and listened to,

because we had some confusion over you just randomly starting the burger bit, so I re-listened to your previous discussion about how you were just going to start whenever you had confidence. And yeah, I do remember that now. Yeah, for some reason I raised that from my last week's episode. Do you remember it now, or did you hear it? I kind of vaguely remembered it but after i heard it it was crystal clear andrew and yeah well i mean i had to ask you about it first of all and second of all i don't think you can claim you remembered something that you had to listen to to learn you didn't you just didn't hear it um i mean it was definitely forgotten but as soon as soon as I was hearing your words,

I was like, I do remember him saying this. Yeah, it just jogged his memory. Fair enough. I deleted it. Can we talk about a big accomplishment in Jeff's life? Jeff had a big thing happen to him. I'm very excited about this. I don't know if you saw it, Gavin.

No, I don't know what you're talking about. Are you serious, Gavin? You don't know? No. Here's are you serious gav you don't know no here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna upload a photo i prepared this it's funny you mentioned that andrew because i i probably would have fucking forgot about it even after i prepped this okay uh i did gavin uh there was a something i tweeted about it just the other day. It was kind of a big milestone in my life. I'm really not sure how my life changes going forward, given this.

But let me pop this sucker in and then try to explain it. You struggling to get it in? Nothing takes longer on this podcast than waiting for it. No, than emailing a photo to yourself and then posting it. What you have there, Gavin, and for the audience, we'll post this at some point. That is approximately, I'd say, 15 to 45 seconds after I picked up

the right sock for the right foot. How did that happen? Do you have a new system no no no no no no i i let me set the stage saturday morning just going about my day i think it was saturday i'll have to go back and check the tweet uh anyway one morning just going about my day took a shower everything's fine uh sit down on the sofa to put my socks and shoes on that you make fun of because i'm old and uh and like i do every day like i've done millions of times i picked up the left sock to put it on the right foot but it wasn't the left sock it was the right

sock i would put money on this not being the first time this has happened i think this is the first time you've noticed first time it's happened i I think this is the first time you've noticed. First time it's happened. I think you've put the correct sock on the correct foot hundreds of times, but because it's a totally normal event, it doesn't register. And then the next time it's the wrong one, you're like, it's again, it's the wrong one.

I can understand how you would need to believe that to make your world make sense, but that's not what's going on here. I'm telling you, it's a Matrix-style simulation. I've pretty much got it dialed in. However, there was a glitch, or I did something. I don't know what I did differently, but in that moment, I had prescience, and I saw it, and I realized it, and I put the correct sock on, and I knew I was doing it at the time. And I'll say this, hasn't happened again since. I've made a note of it every morning.

So far, it was a one-time incident. So what I've been trying to do is dissect everything in my life that led up to that to see what I did differently. Here's the problem. Every day of my life is identical to the previous day. So I don't know! I'm imagining Neo walking past that doorway and seeing the cat. But it happened 750 times back to back at that point it's not deja vu it's just the norm if anything you're not in a simulation no i'm telling you i

am and that's the reboot moment but however uh yeah so i don't know it was a fucking it was amazing it was liberating i felt young again i felt like i was flying i felt like i was free i felt like the world was full of possibility i felt like I could touch the moon if I wanted to Until I put my socks on again, and then it went back to normal I'll be honest. I think if there's any proof that we're not in a simulation It's Andrew panting himself like there's no way a computer could come up with that. I don't know you're talking about Yeah, it was like the bits left over after a defrag that just pile up He's the frag andrew's the fragments i'm really happy jeff that this event happened in your life that is absolutely uh random unexplainable and it's just a good thing that happened to you

and was no way set up or predetermined anyway Anyway, really happy for you. Glad you had this. Thank you for that. Thank you for that, Andrew. And let me say that, you know, the last time we talked, there were some suggestions by audience members and I was going to try some of those and I didn't even get around to it.

And I'll be honest with you. Now, I don't care. I'll do it wrong. It's fine. I had it right once. I touched the sun for one brief second. I reached Shangri-La. I tasted ambrosia.

I know what the top of the mountain looks like. I've breathed that air, and I don't ever have to breathe it again. That's fine. I know I will hold on to that memory, that brief fleeting day for the rest of my life, and that's enough to sustain me. So I'm going to consider this this chapter unless something weird happens i'm gonna consider this chapter of my life closed and i'm just gonna go back to the way things were and anytime i get

frustrated i'll just look at that picture i don't you're just gonna go back to not noticing because you certainly have put the right sock in the right foot countless times before this like i haven't said nope nope i mean yeah before the before the before it started to become a thing like before you bought left and right socks and made your life overly complicated back when i just had straight ass tube socks sure i do what i appreciate about this photo and i was going to bring this up but this is this is a perfect discussion into this i think jeff might be the worst picture taker of all time. Just absolutely horrendous at it. Like, look at

this photo specifically. It tells you nothing about his left sock thing. It's a foot in a shoe. You can't even see the R or the L. You can't see the L or R. You can't tell what foot it is. It's a completely useless photo. It means nothing. And Jeff sends me... Jeff! Go go ahead what are you gonna do no i'm good i'm agreeing with you like i feel like every time he

puts a picture in the group text oh it's horrendous it's a blurry piece of shit and it'll be followed up by a second one that's actually like the actual thing he wanted i have a continue with your bit i have a i have a bit no it's not a bit jeff sends me basketball cards pretty regularly that he's gotten and they're the worst photos i've ever seen none of them are centered i'm gonna send some of these here's the first one we got one to the left that's just that's like 80 of them that's how they come in recently i got one that was upside down i'm trying to figure out what these cards are. We got another one to the left. The most recent,

not this is the most recent. This is the second to most recent. I thought it couldn't get worse than this. This is when he sent me when he's like, I got new cards.

Look at these cards. Clearly just his finger in front of the lens. There have been countless times too back in the, like maybe over the last eight years

where I'm like, Jeff, Jeff, take my phone, record this. We'll do something amazing amazing we'll do something that was like one of a kind funny and at the end of it jeff will hit record and i realized that he's actually not been filming the entire time i'd also like to point out jeff was a photographer yeah i was gonna say yeah i'll get to that yeah of course there's a point to that. I got one more, Gavin. Look, because when you look at that photo,

you think, how could it get worse than this? How could you get a more useless photo of what the cards are? This is his most recent one he sent me. It's the fucking package they were shipping. I still don't know what the cards look like. Why did you even take that picture? Like, what am I supposed to do with that? Are you trying to, like, set up some tension?

Like, oh, what's it gonna be? He has done that. I've gotten a text, you wanna see something cool? And then I'll see it way too late. I gotta wait a whole fucking day to find out what the cool thing is in his cards. Which is fine. It's just gonna get earlier and earlier. The next time it happens, it's gonna be a picture of the mailman the mailman and then I'm sure of the front door before anyone shows up. I

Thought it was a bit. I scrolled through all of the like photos. He sent me for cards. They're all silence not a single one Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay? Here's the deal the first three are definitely not a bit the fourth one was not a bit i just wasn't paying attention the fifth one was a setup i thought it would be funny to send him that because he's getting like every time i send him a photo and it's usually because i'm well i'll get to that but every time i send him a photo he just responds with is this a bit and then i go what and then i have to go back and look at the photo and go oh i see it's upside down or oh i guess my thumb was over the fucking camera whatever so uh so i thought it would be funny this next this last one just to send him

a picture of the mail with the cards poking out of the top and then immediately i was gonna when he responded i was gonna follow up with the actual photos but he didn't respond and i got i lost interest and moved on. So he just got... What's the red one? Because you said that one was real. It was like my thumb. What's impressive, though, is you have to take the photo, you have to then click the photo,

click it again, and then hit submit. There's so many ways. No, no, no. If you're in the text window, and you just hit the take photo button, and then you just snap it, it uploads it, and you're not paying attention. If you're talking to your girlfriend and you just hit the take photo button and then you just snap it, it uploads it and you're not paying attention. If you're talking to your girlfriend or your daughter or the dog's barking or you're trying to figure out who's not ringing the doorbell, you accidentally upload a fucking photo of your thumb. But you have to still send it. You still see what you're about to send.

Yeah, if you're paying attention. I'm doing a lot of things at once. He's cutting two nails. He's very occupied. None of those things happened those are all different days every one of those photos is a different day oh and eric asked if this all happened at once but every one of those photos is from a different no this is like every four days i get one of those oh shit it's great that's amazing yeah this is a very visual episode this

week it is this is what we have an instagram for now exactly yeah yeah we're definitely going to be leaning into the instagram today uh oh boy uh yeah so uh here's the deal i was a professional photographer for five years i'm a photojournalist and i am of the opinion that either you do something as well as possible or not at all. Since I have to take, send, communicate via photo, and I'm not going to treat it like I'm a professional photographer anymore, which I know how to do. Instead, I'm just going to put the least amount of effort into this thing as possible. And so that's what I do with photography now.

I went the other way. Yeah, but I feel like... I know how to take a good photo. I know how to take a good photo. I went to school for it. I got paid to do it. I was a professional at it for five years. So now I feel like I'm allowed to take a bad photo.

It's like when a billionaire wears cargo shorts and flip-flops. But there's a large range that you're not considering. There is professional photographer, then there's human, and then there's what you're taking. You're way below the human bar. These are horrendous photos. I'll be honest, I gave Millie my camera and she took a better picture of me when she was five than some of the ones that showed up here.

Well, because I'm not trying to take a good photo. I'm trying to communicate information. They're so bad I feel like you're putting effort in to make them as bad as they are. I feel like you're putting in twice as much work. I don't put effort into anything. Ah. You put effort into anything. You put effort into this. No, I'm not trying. Eric asked if I was trying to take a bad photo. No.

In the fifth photo, the one of the male, I was trying to take a funny photo, but the rest, I was just... By the way, I think Andrew's blowing it a little out of proportion. Big deal the cards are sideways. You can still fucking see what they are. It's just a huge annoyance. It's not a complicated mathematical equation. No, it's

an annoyance. You can still see. Mark a smart, taco fall, mark a smart. Yeah, but I'm trying to look at the details of the card. I'm trying to be excited about what you got, and I have to turn my head. Just send a proper photo. I wouldn't want you to have to put any effort into it. No, just put a little effort into your photo. Just a minimal amount. Why are you making me do the effort? I can't.

I can't turn my head. That's fair. I can't promise that my photography will get any better. I don't expect it to. Unless I was getting paid to do it. That wasn't the goal of this conversation, was to get you to take better photos. It was horrendous.

I had to bring it up. The worst photo taker I've ever seen. I'll be honest, I didn't think that this was content. I'm surprised you mentioned it. Oh, it's horrendous. It's hilarious. I didn't think that this was content. I'm surprised you mentioned. Oh, it's horrendous. It's hilarious. I really thought it was a bit. And I'm glad to hear the last one was part of the bit.

But scrolling through was alarming to realize how long you've been doing this without me saying anything or really registering that every single one is sideways. Yeah. I'm not even sure. Can I be honest? Yeah. I don't know why they're sideways. I don't know how I took a sideways photo. I held the camera right Clearly not I didn't hold the camera upside down so why is the fucking photo upside down? there was a video we made where Jeremy was covered in powder paint and

I was brushing it off him. I was like oh man It's all over your back But what he didn't know is that I had the bottle of powder paint and as I was brushing it off him i was like oh man it's all over your back but what he didn't know is that i had the bottle of powder paint and as i was brushing it off i was just squirting more on and uh jeff was filming it but he ended up laughing so hard that he fell over and stopped the video and it went on for like 90 seconds longer than we put in the video and jeff was just rolling around the floor crying not filming it I one time got to go probably the most embarrassing because I didn't care about that because we had other coverage but I we got we had the coverage up to it right that was the

video I I one time got to go to a special I got to go to a special action Bronson show Gavin I were both fans action Bronson and I got to go to a special Action Bronson show. Gavin and I were both fans of Action Bronson. And I got to get up close and I got to high five him. And I just felt bad that Gavin didn't go. I wasn't able to get him in. So I took a whole video of him singing a song and then me running up and high fiving him. And he high fives me. And it's really cool, except I missed the high five.

And he looked at me like I was a fucking dumbass. Like, are you serious? Did you just miss a fucking high five and of course I missed it because I was holding the phone and filming it while I was high fiving it and I must have looked as dumb as it sounds anyway he was like instantly lost any respect he probably never had for me to begin with

because I'm just some asshole and he turned around and walked off and I thought well I just ruined it with Action Bronson and then I hit stop and then I went to send it to Gavin and realized that I'd never hit record but I did hit record right after Action Bronson missed the high five. And I literally have a video of me going, oh, man. Jeff has the best videos that occur before or after a really funny event. He has the best collection of those.

Without fail. And it's not like it's a once in a while that happens. It's most. It's the most times you try to video's a once in a while that happens. It's most. It's the most times you try and video something. I got bad iPhone luck. At a certain point, it's not luck. Put it in with your foot luck. Yes.

God damn. Gav, you said you wanted to play a game today. You have a game for us? I don't know if it'll be any good. I've done a little bit of information gathering, because you know we were trying to find out what Andrew doesn't know, but he doesn't know what he doesn't know. So I was trying to find lists

of things that are actually quite obvious, but sometimes people don't know. How big is this list? What are we talking about? It's loads. It's loads, but I'll do a few. We'll see how it goes. We'll start with M&M's, right? Why is the rapper M&M called M&M? I've no I do people know this I don't feel like this would be a thing that's commonly now. Oh wait is the rapper wait. Sorry. What was the question?

I think I misinterpreted We roll this back. What was the question? M&M the guy yeah, why is he called M&M? It's his initials. Actually, I had this realization. I told Jeff about it. I was so excited. Overlinking. It's true. It's true.

I've talked to Jeff about this. He just, like, it was like nobody else had ever thought of this. Yeah. No, I was very excited about it. I thought you meant, like, why are Eminems called Eminems? I did too. Yeah. Oh, sorry.

Did I phrase it wrong? I might have. No, it's just I interpreted it like the candy wrapper, not the musician, Eminem. When you see, like, first, second, and third written, where it's like 1, S-T, 2, N-D, 3, R-D, what are the significance of the letters? It's the last... Is it the last two letters of the word?

Yep, that's true true that was like a common uh oh i didn't know that i didn't think about that i just i didn't know that i just can i tell you one that gets me with numbers all the time this is really stupid when you're on an elevator the the button below it in my head is always the floor that's below it so if it's 22 and the button below 22 is 20 in my head that is what that's what how the building is laid out so you so wait you can have 21 yeah like elsewhere yeah well okay so here i don't remember exactly how the panel was it really fucked me up and luigi's mansion three because he they said they said go to the floor below the floor the ghost is on the floor below the one you're on. And the button was for a completely different number.

It was like two floors down or three floors. But I just clicked the next button down. The button to the floor screws me up. That's weird. I think the button. That's not on my list. The button should always. The button below the floor you're on should always be for the next floor down.

It's just my policy. I don't care how large that panel is. It just makes sense. All right. Why is it called a donut? Donut. Donut. Am I focusing on the nut here?

Do I focus on the dough? What is a dough is a deer. I don't think that has to do with donut. Donut. Do not. Donut. Donut. is a deer i don't think that has to do with donut donut do do not donut donut i don't know i don't know this one i can't figure this out out gavin what is it uh so like a nut from a from nuts and bolts that's stupid it's a dough it's a dough one that's stupid that's a dumb one all right uh why is it called a dumb one. All right. Why is it called a club sandwich?

It's made in a club. It's part of a club? Was it a club secret? Club san- What is in a club sandwich? Turkey. That's true. There's variants, isn't there?

There's like a turkey club. Tomato. A meatball sub. A club. Is there a meatball club? Meatball sub club? I'm just trying to figure this out. There's a fucking subway here, dude.

Yeah. No. I don't know. Why is the club sandwich called the club sandwich? It's an acronym apparently for chicken and lettuce under bacon Well, I feel like I was greatly misguided by Jeff's suggestion of turkey. Club sandwich? Does that really? That's interesting That was that's just- is that right? Is that right? What do you mean is that right? You're the guy conducting this. Yeah, that's what Google says is right. All right, what's 24-7?

24-7. Like if it's... 24-7. Okay, seven days a week, right? I got the seven day. Yeah. What's 24? 24 hours in a day.

24 hours a day, seven days a week. Fucking got it. Yeah, apparently a lot of people didn't know that if you're open 24-7, it just means you're open all the time. Yeah. I gotta say, if anything, this is making me look great at riddles. I'm figuring these out on the fly I haven't put thought into these I'm deciphering these left and right I feel pretty confident. What does sitcom mean? Oh fuck sitcom. It's uh you uh

Is the com comedy and the sit literally sit because people would sit and watch People used to watch. Jesus Christ, think about it. Sitcoms, because you would sit. Sitcoms used to be filmed live. So they'd have people come and they'd sit and they'd watch the comedy. You're taking this way too literally. It's a sit-down comedy.

It's a sit-down comedy. It's an abbreviation of both. Sitcom. It's a sit-down comedy. It's a sit-down comedy. It's an abbreviation of both. Sitcom. I'm thinking of all the sitcoms. Sitcom. I don't know. I don't know this one. I don't feel like most people know this one. That one is a situational comedy.

I think most people know that. No, I don't think anyone refers to it as a situational comedy. What does that even mean? It means that the comedy is, the show is about a funny situation in these people's lives. Like a funny set-up scenario. Technically, isn't every moment a situation? Isn't every...

You are 100% correct. You just cracked the code. That seems like a weird qualifier. Technically, everything's a situation. What is a pony? It's a horse of some kind it's a horse i believe uh yeah i think the misconception on that one is a lot of people think it's a baby horse but it's actually just a different type entirely yeah i didn't know that also don't really care about that one i just don't think that's that's fair you know why did apple call their computer the Macintosh? Because it's the name of an apple.

I don't fuck around with apples. I love apples. You're right on that one. Yeah, of course I am. Apple pie, best pastry, best dessert. I'll die on that hill. I think it's the best pie. I know it's the cliched answer.

Love the apple pie. It's a staple. I'll do one more. What's a camcorder? Camcorder? It's a staple. All right, I'll do one more. What's a camcorder? Camcorder? It's a camera recorder. Yes. Yeah, I'm fucking...

You did pretty well on those. I'm so good at riddles. Not bad. Those are apparently just a list of things that are, to most people, very obvious, but a lot of people just... It passes them by. I think that's what that list is.

My issue isn't that I can't figure these things out. It's that I put no thought into these things. That's my problem my problem most of the time like i didn't know any of those going into them at least i didn't think i did much like the burger thing you didn't know any of those no not really no 24 7 i think i knew but outside of that i was figuring it out as we went because it just was logical i put a little thought into it what about y2k y2k oh boy i should know this y2k oh come on y2k oh come on y2k that's a confusing one because i know what it was no it's not well what's the context around where have you heard that it's the year 2000 all the computers were gonna die i've watched a leonard nimoy safety special on how to prepare for y2k i don't know if they went into

why what does what does it stand are you okay jeff why don't you take another photo of your left sock while i figure this out why 2k why is it why is the Is the Y literally the Y? I know it's spelled as a Y But that just feels lazy 2K is like a distance I would feel Like if I was going on a walk 2K is a distance? Yeah

Yeah, why is it What's the equivalent Okay, in a distance, what's 2K? I don't understand that question Like why In terms of distance How does 2K make sense in distance? Oh, it's a measurement.

K is a measurement. What? Kilometers. Two kilometers. Expand on it. I don't know what that means. What do you mean? You have all the ingredients.

Make the cake, Andrew. You said the fucking answer. What does that mean? Why two kilometers? That can't be right. It's about computers. Is it not about computers? Computers are spelled with a K, you genius!

No, it's not. What do you mean? Oh. Oh. Well, no, but the thing is, no, like, I know computers are spelled with a K. That's obvious. I was very good at spelling.

I don't know. Why is Y2K Y2K? Explain it to me, and then I'll realize. So the kilo in, well, any measurement, kilometers, kilograms, what does the kilobit mean? Oh, it's the computer thing. It's the computer thing, right? What?

The kilobit. Kilobit? What? It's like the megabit. You? The kilobit. Kilobit? What? It's like the megabit. It's like the gigabit. You talk about kilobytes? Yeah. Just tell him, man.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah, like. It just means thousand. K just means thousand. Oh. Y, year, two, two, K, thousand. You said it.

You go, what does Y2K mean? Oh, the Y is year. Yeah, like if I give you 5K, you'd get $5,000. Surely that is a lot more effort than just saying 2,000. That is a lot of unnecessary code and an extra letter. Just say 2,000.

Why are we saying Y2K? Why do we need a fancy abbreviation? You know what I did on Y2K? I remember this specifically. Great, great New Year's Eve. Wasn't worried about the world ending at all. I rented the Triple X movie with Vin Diesel. I was very excited about it.

Had me some cherry Coke. There was a huge mis... So I was so excited for the Triple X Vin Diesel action movie as a kid. And I'd drive with my dad. And when we'd leave town, there was a porno theater on the outskirts of town, and they had this sign that said, Triple X every Tuesday, 50 cents. And I thought that that was the Vin Diesel movie,

so every time we'd drive by, I'd excitedly be like, we got one of these Tuesdays. We got to go. It's 50 cents. I don't know how money works. I'm a kid, but that seems like a hell of a deal, and it doesn't come out for like eight months, so I don't know how money works. I'm a kid, but that seems like a hell of a deal. And it doesn't come out for like eight months, so I don't know how they got it.

And they're screening it every Tuesday, so it has to be awesome. There's no way you screen a bad movie every Tuesday. We gotta go. And that was just months of my life. And then 2000 happened. It was New Year's. Got Cherry Coke, rented the movie, very excited,

enjoyed it. Had a great time. I love that movie. That's such a dumb the movie very excited enjoyed it had a great time I love that movie that's such a dumb great movie that's such a great Y2 computer story yeah I think that was

that was a quite little fun game I enjoyed that that was a great game Gavin thanks for playing that alright here's the deal we all shop online.

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A little something new. I'm very excited about this. I hope you guys don't mind me doing this, but I thought it would be a lot of fun to go on a visual journey this episode, is what I think. I think a nice little visual journey. Maybe we could see,

we've been talking about funny baseball cards and maybe collecting obscure cards, so I thought I could maybe guide us through some cards I found, and I just think I'd love to hear your opinion on them So let's open with this one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hold on. I get the bit that you're doing No, I'm not doing any bit at all I just want to start with like this is a great baseball card that I found What you're doing is funny, but you don't have the context I had a whole tapestry woven around

this fucking visual game and you're ruining it no this is a great I'm having a great time on this visual journey that we're on what do you think of that card Bobby Gritch second baseman how do we feel about it I wrote

shit for this I've been working on this for three hours today How do we feel about it? I wrote shit for this! How do we feel about it? God damn it! So- I've been working on this for three hours today! I fucking tell you guys, I'm gonna fucking- Okay, well, Jess met. I just don't think he likes the card. Let's talk about Jeff Reed! How do we feel about Jeff Reed?

He looks very upset. Stomach issue? I don't know. Why take that? So earlier on today, I got alert after alert on my phone and Discord of Jeff posting baseball card after baseball card in this Discord. And then slowly, one by one, they started disappearing. And then Jeff texts us saying, I've got a bit left for F*** Face this week. Here's how it went.

No, no, no. I wonder what it is. You're lacking some context. This wasn't today. Jeff has been posting baseball photos since like the weekend. It has been days of baseball photos. So I looked at the Discord channel today

and Jeff deleted them all and there's a conversation where the person's like, why are you deleting them? And he said, don't worry, they'll be back. And then he texted Gavin and I, I have a new idea for us this week. We're going on a visual journey We have seen all the photos you post I don't think in my head. Yeah, I know all I don't think Jeff

Necessarily knows how to transfer stuff from his phone to his computer So he uses it the uses the public discord is a way to do it and we've seen everything You're wrong. You're so it. You're just... That was the big mystery. Why are you doing this? You're wrong. You're so stupid. You're all so stupid. Here's how it happened, okay? Okay.

All right. You dumb little idiots. Here's how it happened. I... We did the podcast last week. Two weeks ago, in our podcast, we talked about the idea of doing an everything is terrible Jerry Maguire type deal where we created like a social experiment and we take something that has inherently no value and we create value, not necessarily monetary.

And we decided that it would be funny to find the most boring, mundane, least valuable sports card in the world and try to buy all of them or try to have the audience send them. And we all try to collectively collect them until we own every single baseball card of this particular person, whoever it is. Right. So we then promptly forgot to talk about it last week when we recorded and then Andrew reminded me we never talked about the baseball card thing and I went oh shit you're right we didn't and then I thought I should throw some up in the discord for us to talk about throw a couple of examples up because I doubt Andrew and Gavin are going to put any effort into it so I'll throw some fucking baseball cards up and then we can pick one from some of the ones that I find right so I started throwing them up and then today when I sat down and I started

thinking about how I wanted to present it, I thought it would be funnier if I just showed them to you one at a time instead of a long list. And I had been putting them up there. Andrew's right for days just because I'm a holder. I wasn't trying to keep them from you. I wasn't trying to hide them. I wasn't I was totally fine with everybody seeing him. Nobody was accusing you of that. You posted them in the public discord. Why would we think you're hiding them? Yeah, I don't know. So I wasn't like, but I was just throwing them up there just so I would like bookmarking them. So I'd remember to go back to them if they're in the discord and I see it when we log in. I can't forget to talk about it like we did this last podcast. Right. So I was just putting them up there to remind us to talk about it.

And then today I thought, oh, I could have a little fun with this do it in a presented in a manner so I'll take them down so they're not all up at once and then we can talk about them as I post them and then Andrew who is a terrible human being did his thing yeah and so Andrew saved them and is now just posting them himself well as his own bit no this was my visual journey for you too i was very excited to share it and then jeff had to be very aggressive about it i guess it's his thing so you can go ahead do what you want bitch do what you want with okay here's the first one 1986 donruss bobby gritch here's why i like this card if oh by the way if you're listening to this podcast this is obviously the visual part i'm posting all of this or i'm gonna have I don't post on the Instagram, but I'll have all this posted on the Instagram.

And so you can follow along if you're driving right now or you're at work doing open heart surgery and your hands aren't free or whatever, then I'll explain it as we go. But I highly recommend you play along on Instagram. Face pod is our Instagram handle. I'm trying to guess why you like this picture so much. The first one, 1996, Bobby Gritch. Here's why I like it.

Bobby is A, a baseball player I've never heard of. B, so he's a nobody, right? I mean, no offense. He's probably somebody to somebody. But to us, he's effectively no one.

This card, it's horizontal blue lines. It's on the piss. It's skewed. It's very, very 80s. Very dated, right? That's what's nice about it. It also fits into. It's very, very 80s, very dated, right? That's what's nice about it. It also fits into a window.

When I was looking into it, Andrew said we should try to figure out what is statistically the least valuable baseball card on earth and collect that one. So I was thinking about that and trying to figure out how to do it. And here's where a lot of the research went in that Eric was making fun of me for on the Discord earlier. I've been reading about print runs. It became very clear, very quickly that we have to eliminate all other sports. Baseball is the only one that prints in ridiculous numbers. Now they, now they don't, but from the eighties to the mid nineties was considered the junk wax era. They were printing millions and

millions of copies of every baseball player's card. Now, they print like 75,000, maybe. So, from like 86 to like 92, they would print sometimes three or, like this Bobby Gritsch, there might be four million of that card out there. So, I think it's gotta be from this window, mid- 80s to 90s, so it fits that. Also,

Bobby Gritsch appears to be on second base or on first, looking to go to second or third to steal. He's squatting and it very clearly appears like he's shitting the entire state of California out of his butthole and it says angels on it. Or like he's got a really big back dong that's hanging low coming out of his butthole. Like if his dick was misplaced and it was about where a sphincter would be and very large, it's like hanging out. It's a very unfortunate placement and shape. I also feel his angle doesn't make sense.

I don't feel like he's facing the right way for that photo. I think he's leading off on second, facing toward third base. Okay, it's just a weird maybe camera angle. Yeah, I guess the camera would be. Yeah. Okay, I see. So these are my candidates. That's the first one.

The next one. Sorry, before you go to the next one, I don't want to dissuade you. I don't know how into what the player has done, if you care or not, but he's definitely, Bobby Gritch was a hell of a player for the California Angels.

He was a silver slugger and a six-time all-star. So I don't know if that factors into we want a nobody or if we want a silver slugger and a six-time all-star. Look, the best thing bobby gritch has going for him aside from the giant angel california dong coming out of his butthole is the name gritch is a terrible name that's another one i i'd never heard of bobby

gritch is before my time i was a kid watching baseball in the 80s and i never heard of him after not to diminish his tremendous abilities and obviously all of his accomplishments. Say what you will about the man. He could take a California-shaped dump. That's for sure. I don't think Gritch is that bad. I think Bobby Gritch, it's a funny bad name. You can't spell Gritch without Rich. Wow, that's a great point.

I think that disqualifies it immediately. You can't spell Grinch without Gritch. Next one. 92 score, as Andrew mentioned. Jeff Reed, catcher for the Cincinnati Reds. For some reason, he's laying on the ground holding what appears to be his chest or his heart as if he's just been struck by a car

or a shotgun blast. I was going to say, do we know he's alive? That's just the first question before we continue. He might be having a heart attack. Someone should check on this to see if this is the last photo taken. It's going to be a death photo. We're good.

It doesn't look like he's been shot and landed against a wall and he's about to slide down it and leave a blood smear. They made the weird decision to turn the card sideways so it looks like he's standing against a wall but he's really just laying down on the ground,

clutching his chest or heart in pain as his clogged arteries try to end his life, from what I can tell. I really like this one a lot, too. But it's kind of funny. The problem with this one is I laugh every time I see it. This one and the Bobby Gritch. And I think that takes away from the mundane aspect of it so

I got to thinking like what's less in like even these guys are doing something funny what's even like lamer than than that and I got to I got to thinking about managers they managers get baseball cards they're not athletes anymore and so I thought I thought, I'll browse around the managers and see what I can come up with. And then I found 1987 Tops Dave Johnson. I highly encourage you to look up this photo if you can. What you're looking at here is maybe what I would consider to be the most iconic baseball card of all time.

It's the 87 Tops with the wood grain. I would imagine that most people, if you say the word baseball card to them, some form of this card is the first thing they see. It was when baseball cards hit their frenzy, right? And what you have here is what appears to be a non-action shot.

Dave here, kind of looking off to the right. With what appears to be a lot of dip in his mouth. He's definitely dipping Skoll or Copenhagen. And he's got a mustache and a i'm pretty sure a pop belly and what he looks like he gives the appearance of being like like let's say you live in north carolina and you hate your stepdad he's probably a dick

who won't let you go out and hang out with your friends until you do all of the like hours and hours of yard work and he just keeps like spitting in the grass and talking about your mom's ass and every time she walks by he slaps her and you fucking hate him that's this that's a picture of this guy right here that's dave johnson in a heartbeat i'm sure he's a lovely man but that's what can he conveys in this photo and i love it for that i also love they put this fucking black stroke around the word manager that is reminiscent of like they were ahead of their time this is bad 90s photoshop 10 years earlier eight years earlier so for those reasons i love it but i got to thinking dave johnson well i'll keep going down i'll keep going down this manager rabbit hole and see what else i can find and then i found the legend don zimmer what do you think about that

now here we have a photo of Cubs manager, Don Zimmer, uh, staring off into the sun. His eyes are, he's wincing because it's super bright and he's very old. And he looks like, uh,

he looks like a sad, fat old Popeye. I can hear that guy. Yeah. I can hear exactly what he sounds like. He looks like he was made in a lab to just manage baseball. He is the perfect baseball look. He's got like an old man baby face.

I bet he looked like that when he was born. He's definitely going to coach baseball. It's funny you say that, Gavin. I got to thinking, what other... Surely that's a bad photo of Don Zimmer, right? Let me find another one. Here's the next one. I don't see a bad photo in the bunch.

He's got like a cheek full of something. Yeah. And I thought, I bet Don was a handsome man, because he's got kind of a wry smile. I bet he was a handsome man when he was younger. I found his young baseball card. Turns out he looked like a serial killer. It was piercing, scary, very dangerous eyes.

He looks like if Phil Collins killed people. He looks like if Phil Collins was the. He looks like if Phil Collins was the Night Stalker. Very unsettling. And then that turned me off to the whole thing and I thought, I'm going to go back to old Don Zimmer. And then I found this photo. This is not a baseball card photo,

but I thought you guys would appreciate it. Well, here you go. That's a picture of Don Zimmer lounging in the dugout with his belly and his crotch hanging out for the world to see in a very suggestive sexy pose. That's a power move.

That's a confident man. Yeah. That's a confident man. He owns that dugout. So that's the end of my terrible little visual journey that Andrew tried to destroy uh but what we're left with i think is probably i think my personal preference would be one of the manager cards either dave johnson or one of the two don zimmers but i went down the zimmer hall with you

went to the zimmy zone i went i'm i'm in this i left the ham zone briefly to enter the zimmer zone and i zim zoned for a couple hours and then went, Oh right. I was looking at, I was looking at other baseball cards. Shit. I spent all this time looking up a Zimmer. The Zimmer zone. I was in the Zim zone. Oh, I love it. Can I, did you find any Bobby Valentine manager cards, Jeff? Cause I feel like Bob, the fake mustache is so wonderful. It's Bobby Valentine. I, I did look up a Bobby Valentine, his 87 tops, I think. It wasn't as funny. These by no means have

to be the cards we pick. I just figured we should pick... These are pretty lame, and I think they fit all the criteria. There's probably three or four million Don Zimmer staring off into the sun baseball cards out there that have to be worth

less than the ink and paper. I'm a supporter of Don Zimmer. Do you know the Bobby Valentine mustache story, Gavin? Yes. I know you and Jeff. So Bobby Valentine was a baseball manager. Was it the Red Sox, Jeff, that he was the manager of? I think he was the Mets manager. The Mets. OK. He got thrown out of a game, Gavin, and he left because he was thrown out. He at the time. The Mets? Okay. He got thrown out of a game, Gavin. And he left because he was thrown out. He had to leave. He then applied tape to his face to make a fake mustache. And then he just came back.

And he was just in the dugout for like three more innings. And then they threw him out again. Oh, it's such a good fake mustache. We'll put that on the Instagram too. It's great. It's one of the great coaching moments where did he get that? he went to the bath

it was like tape and like I don't remember the full story but he yeah that's what he normally looks like that's what he looks like normally? yeah that's what

that would fool me I'll be honest that way he would definitely walk by me twice I want to say he came back it was there for like three more innings before they noticed he came back and they threw him out again. But it's just a great move. One of the best.

Anyway, if you all have any suggestions, I welcome them. I think we should pick one fairly soon. The audience, we talked about it in the episode that came out this week. The audience has been throwing out some suggestions. I'll be honest. I haven't been blown away by any of theirs. But I mean, there's they're all no, they're all great in some funny way. They're interesting in some way that inherently provides value.

They're sending us really interesting cards, and that's cool, but we need the opposite of interesting. We want the epitome of the absence of value. So there can't be an interesting story there can't be a funny pose it can't be jeff reed having a heart attack it's got to be like it's just got to be on it's got to be unvalued it's got to be just like worthless that's interesting because i i assumed we would want like some level of intrigue around it not like the player was terrible but like an interesting story or something we We just want zero value

at all is what we're going. Well, I think you said the thing that you said that stuck with me was that it should be statistically the least valuable baseball card in the world. And I think you I think you've got to start at managers and work your way down. That's fair. Also, crazy conversation with like what's happening with GameStop stock. We were ahead of

the curve with the baseball thing. Yeah, I guess we were. Yeah. That's a good point. Mm hmm. Do you do you guys all loaded up on your GameStop stock. We were ahead of the curve with the baseball thing. Yeah, I guess we were. Yeah, that's a good point. Do you guys all load it up on your GameStop stock? Oh, I'm good. Good deal. Yeah. All right, well, that was my visual game.

Anyway, I don't know when we should pick one, but we should probably get to it at some point. So I'll leave it up to you guys. I would like to explore managers a little bit further, but I kind of like Don Zimmer. Please do i like the don zimmer angle quite a bit out of all don zimmers like he's kind of likable too right like i mean he he is i do think he might kill you okay definitely looks like he got away with murder at some point in his life when forensic evidence wasn't as uh easy to examine. But Dave Johnson gives really,

and I'm sure he's a lovely man, he does give real dickhead stepdad vibes. Absolutely. There's a really great British word that I feel like I don't hear enough here. Gormless. If you look at Dave Johnson, he is the definition of gormless in that picture.

What does gormless mean? What is the definition of gormless? Are you looking at what the meaning of it doesn't get used enough? I don't even know what it means. It's like, it's just me. Well, it's kind of,

he's like, uh, I have an urban dictionary. Now we'll have a picture of Dave Johnson. Yeah. Just look up gormless, you know, in your own convenience i like don zimmer because he looks like he's a boat captain in his free time like he's a manager half the season and then he operates boats for the rest yeah yeah if have you ever seen the movie cabin boy no oh you should look it up he looks like the captain of that ship okay he looks like he was driving a boat and an hour into it he realized he zoned out and he doesn't know where he is yes as he does

the zimmer zone is also just fantastic i'd love to enter the zip zone he looks like he eats spinach and like he looks like he eats spinach like other people eat dip like he's just got like a hawk of spinach in the side of his mouth just waiting just waiting for geriatric bluto to show up and try to steal uh what's left of olive oil 20 minutes of what don zimmer looks like he does talk i love it the rest of the show just talking about what hobbies we think don Simmer has based off his baseball cards. Model trains. Andrew, should we talk about briefly what we've been getting up to in Hitman? Oh, sure. We could talk about that for a minute.

Have you topped? Have you topped what I sent you? I feel like I set the bar. No, no. Okay. I just like to sometimes do weird shit in video games and send it to Andrew. Kind of like a things to do where you don't play the game normally. You play it like a total maniac.

And I just found someone in Hitman in one of the levels. Is it a wine tasting? And the guy's like had too much wine. So he just is on this AI loop of he'll go and have a phone call and then he'll come to a bin and just vomit over and over again. And I just sat on the bench next to the bin while this guy's throwing up like a foot from me and i've just filmed myself sat next to this guy throwing up for like 25 seconds and i just sent the whole clip to andrew andrew andrew applied with another clip of a guy throwing up over a railing, like throwing up over a balcony,

but Andrew's hanging below him. And he's just getting showered in vomit. And now I'm in a predicament where I've got to sort of outdo his vomit by trying to find something even more gross than that. And we're just sending back and forth these clips of people throwing up near us or on us. So there's a lot of vomit in Hitman, huh? There is.

Yeah, you can poison people. Yeah. I hadn't poisoned anyone in the game yet. I thought Gavin, the vomiting animation is so long, I thought you had somehow discovered a way to keep it infinitely looping, Gavin, based on the clip. I didn't realize that. No, he just throws up. Yeah, when you make somebody sick in in that game they vomit for like a minute

straight and it's very graphic and I was trying to do something completely unrelated to that I poisoned a guy and he ran over to the railing and started vomiting over it and I was like I know what I gotta do so I reverted my save to get into prime vomit taking position and just got covered

by the guy it was fantastic oh yeah we could probably put those clips on Instagram yeah that's a great idea that sounds disgusting it's a that that's a video game that you can do some really weird funny creative shit in oh I love those games they're so good yeah that um Dubai level the first level of hitman 3 has you remember we did puddle pile Jeff oh yeah there's like a puddle the size of a room in that level and i'm trying to figure out a way to try and kill everyone at once with it i'm excited for them to make the james bond game yeah hey man three it

feels like james bond ish in a weird way like it's the most spy one like we're using your use the camera to like unlock windows and shit i'm excited those are gonna be good games or hopefully it will be a good game so and Andrew do you have your act 3 yeah let's hear act 3 I do oh I don't have my act 3 I could tease into act 3 I got salad cream that's something

oh it arrived finally it arrived finally I couldn't figure out it's like a month late yeah here's the thing if anything I just proved how much of a genius I was I was, what is this package from Ireland? I have no idea what this is. Very confused. Then I was thrilled when I opened it.

I was like, the salad cream finally arrived. I forgot I even ordered this. Perfect. I don't have a salad. Did you thank yourself? I did thank myself, but I don't have a salad. So I have salad cream. I don't have a salad. What do you mean? I was going to do a whole salad thing. I just didn't have time to prepare what I wanted to do, so I have salad cream i don't have a salad what do you mean i i was gonna do a whole salad thing i just didn't have time to prepare what i wanted to do so i have the cream we were talking

about this a week ago we were saying that you should get your normal salad yeah no we did for the podcast and then have some without and have some with salad cream you've had at least a week to prepare for this see unlike you i remember this conversation i acknowledge it happened i just it didn't come together i I got all the stuff for it. Right, but when you're sat in the Discord 30 minutes early with your thumb in your ass, why didn't you just order a salad or something? You know, next week

we'll have a great act three of the salad, and it's going to come together then. It's going to be a great act three. You wanted a good act three? I mean, I couldn't. I got blue balls for this salad cream. It's been like six weeks at this point. Gavin, do you know what I did today for, I got blue balls for this salad cream. It's been like six weeks at this point. Gavin, do you know what I did today? I was doing a meeting with RT to test some equipment out. And it was like at noon.

And I realized I wasn't going to have time to get up and go anywhere. So I ordered from a sub shop. I ordered a salad. And in 20 minutes, I was eating it. Wow. What do you think about that, Andrew? That's, I mean, a really boring story he just told that I don't feel like has any purpose to the conversation.

Probably in the time that I could have sat in a Discord server, I could have ordered it and had it arrive. I don't see how that applies. What do you have in your house that you could use salad cream on? Do you have anything green? Well, I don't want to make, I haven't tried this, I haven't even opened it yet. You put cream in coffee, from my understanding.

Just saying. I'm just saying it's a cream. I'm not going to. I'm not saying I'm going to do it. Just throwing it out there. I could just try it. What do we do? Do we wait?

Because the next great third act next week, I just want to bring up that I had felt like it needed to be brought. Have you have you have you smelled it yet? No, I haven't done anything with it yet yeah why don't you get a whiff why don't you get a whiff or like a little taste let's cliffhanger yeah let's cliffhanger i'm so scared i'm gonna shoot this everywhere what way up is the label by the way uh it's uh you'd face it uh like a psychopath would based on the label so i'm gonna keep it the correct way. I'd do it. I don't like this at all. The color of it is bad.

What does it say? Lift and peel. It's like a yellowed mayonnaise. Ugh. Ugh. Okay, we're going to smell it. I need to mentally prepare myself for a minute because I feel like I'm going to gag already and I haven't even smelled anything.

Why would you gag? I know. It's a condiment. Well, because the last time I brought a bottle to my face Gavin it was the waffle bar So I think I think I'm trained right now to feel like I want to gag that was so bad. Okay. Oh My god, that sucked. That was awful I could gag off that the fight did to fight to not gag. That smells so bad. You eat this?

I think you're projecting waffle bomb into it. Imagine it fresh on a nice salad. Well, it is fresh. I just opened it. I couldn't get fresher. What do you mean imagine it fresh? You just got... You've poisoned your own mind. Oh, no.

It just smells really bad. Kind of... You know what? Actually... I think you're right i think that was in my head this is fine kind of has a honey mustardy smell to it actually this is why don't you just yeah i think i think you're gonna like it why don't you just squirt a bit onto your to your tongue no i'm not why would i do it to my tongue i'd surely do it on my hand

would i not going straight for the mouth seems aggressive can you taste stuff through your hand dude you if you want to if you really want Dude, if you really want to taste it properly, you need to swish it around in your mouth like you do with wine. No, I'm not doing that. So I would do like a squirt and then swirl it around. I'm good. I think I wait for the salad. I think that's Act 3 next week.

Exciting Act 3. We've got that to look forward to then. Yeah. What kind of salad greens do you like? I got a whole thing plant. So, all of them, I guess?

I don't know. What does that mean? Well, I did ask you what your normal go-to salad covering was. Yeah. Like,

what dressing or sauce or whatever. And you said nothing. You said you just have dry leaves. Yeah, I don't like the dressing. I just,

you get some berries in there. It's good enough. I enjoy the taste of that. What are we, are you doing like iceberg? Are you of that. What are we doing? Like iceberg? You a spinach guy? Are we doing romaine?

A little spinach is good. I like some romaine. Yeah, I think I'm a romaine guy, but I can't. You know, spinach is great too. I'm not too picky. I feel like the most divisive ingredient to a salad to me is carrot. Carrot? Really?

Yeah, like shaved carrot is often in salad. And I feel like I could do without. I like carrot. It's just the wrong... It's too much crunch for the other stuff. I would have to disagree with you. Yeah. You like a bit of carrot strips?

I like a bit of crunch. That's why I like croutons. I feel like there's enough crunch in a salad already. I don't know if there's such a thing. It's a different... It's like a dull crunch with a carrot. That I agree with. But I think there's never too much crunch. I'm good

with crunch. It's like the thing I reject with your whole no-stuff-crust thing, Jeff. I don't think you can add cheese to something and make it worse. It makes no sense to me that you dislike stuffed crust. It's an addition of cheese. I would disagree with that. Melted cheese makes everything better. Okay.

Cereal. It probably would. I don't drink... I've never had cereal and milk. So, I don't know what that's like. I'd always have my cereal dry. I also haven't had a lot of cereal. I've had like three cereals. You don't like stuff to be wet. I'm okay with, I don't know about that.

You've never put milk on cereal? No, because I had a milk allergy as a kid, so I just never did it and then... That makes sense. What about like almond milk though and other milks? Nut milk, soy milk? No, I never- I didn't really like any of the other variants of milk when I tried it, so I wouldn't put it on food that I thought was okay without it. So you no longer have that allergy? Uh, it doesn't seem to bother me. I don't really put much thought into it, but I also have never just like had milk. I have ice cream.

You should try milk in cereal someday had milk. I have ice cream. You should try milk in cereal someday. Yeah. You might be surprised. I think so. What would be a good cereal? I've had like, I think I've had Honey Nut Cheerios. I've had Fruit Loops. And I think that might be it.

I think everything else is on the table. How do you feel about like a frosted mini wheat? Oh, it's a good cereal. Is it? I'm open to it. I've never had. A lot of crunch in that for you. Oh, I like that.

I'm a big Captain Crunch fan myself. It's in the name. I also like Crunch Berries. It's also in the name. I think the question is... It's in the name as well. What type of cereal would Don Zimmer like? Golden Grahams is real good.

Don Zimmer likes old people cereal. He likes... Muesli. Yeah, he likes Weetabix and Muesli and shit like that. Nothing old about Weetabix. He likes mini-wheats. Not the frosted mini-wheats. He likes just mini-wheats.

Okay. How do you like your port-a-potty, Jeff? Oh, that's right. So what happened there? Yeah. Okay. How do you like your porta potty, Jeff? Oh, that's right. So what happened there? The last episode, it ended with you saying you had to make some calls. You then repeated that you needed to make some calls via text for a while. I don't know if you ever made the calls, but I never received a porta potty. Yeah, I never ordered one.

I was just trying to see how many times they could get you to walk around your house. Did we get three? I think three. Three was the amount. Yeah, that's pretty good. I had no idea if you'd ordered one or not because I know because it was discussed for a long time before. Never ordered.

But I just see how many times you could get Jeff to leave the podcast. This is fun. Was it just not in the budget? I believe so. Yeah. I mean, a port-a-potty is pretty expensive. Not as expensive as I thought it would be, but it's expensive. It's expensive to buy one.

Yes, it is. How much are we talking? They wanted to rent it, or rental was the question. I think it's way funnier if you just have to deal with a port-a-potty. Like, it's now yours. Now you have to somehow get rid of this. Are you saying port-a-potty? Yeah.

It's a portable potty. Port-a-potty. It just sounded like you were saying, like, port-er. No. Port-a-potty. Yeah. It's a portable potty. Port-a-potty. It just sounded like you were saying, like, port-E-R. No. Port-a-potty. They range, they're like $650, $700, something like that, which isn't an insane amount of money, but for a show with no budget, it's an insane amount of money.

When the budget I have to spend is zero, and sometimes if I have to pay for anything, it has to, you know, budget numbers have to come from other things, then, yeah, $700 is a lot. And also, it's a podcast that people listen to and they can't see it. And it's not like you could see or hear it happen. It would just simply be there, and it would be a huge hassle for Jeff to do something with this porta potty

that he now owns that makes me happy yeah yeah that sounds that sounds like a lot of fun well shenanigans here's what we could do we could we could use all of our winnings all of our earnings from

collecting like from owning the global Don Zimmer baseball card market, and once we have it all, like GameStock, right? Then we can set our own price, so then we'll sell all the cards for $10,000 each, and then we'll be rich in porta-potties. I think we have a plan. There you go.

Are we good? Is that the end of the episode? You've really blue-balled me with this salad cream, I'll be honest. Why are you upset about the salad cream? I'm not upset, I just, I was really excited for you to try it. Oh, okay, That's fair. You know what? I apologize. He really was.

I had a whole thing. It just didn't come together. Next week, we're going to go deep in the salad cream. Let's lead with salad cream next week. Let's make it the, let's make it the focus. We're going to exit the Zimmer zone briefly. I don't, I want to live there, but we're going to briefly exit to experience salad cream. I'm excited.

So we've got the ham zone. We've got the Zimmer zone. We're a, we're a zone heavy operation at this point. I wonder what we're going to do with all these zones. We should sanction them and, I don't know, figure out a way to charge access for them. Andrew, what does Fortnite mean? It's a video game. Can't trick me.

Eric, what's this? Yeah, no shit. everyone's just sitting quietly i was reading what you were typing you're lunatic listenable everyone is sitting quietly because we're all listening quietly and then gavin goes andrew what's fortnight and he says a video game and and then we're back to silence. Yeah. Insane. Not answering the question. Insane.

Then it said you were typing, so I was just waiting to see what you were typing. We're an hour in. What did you think I was going to say? We're good. We're done here. And goodbye. Thank you for listening to this episode of F*** Face.

Hope you enjoyed it. We'll see you next time where Andrew eats salad. Bye! Yeah! Pick a baseball card, Andrew and Gavin, so we can get this going. The Zimmer Zone. I feel like I'm all in on the Zimmer Zone. Oh, I have to pick a specific Zimmer? That's impossible.

Just pick the Phil Collins one. That is impossible, Jeff. It's a man of my heart. You gotta pick... We can only pick one how many cards does Don Zimmer possibly have dude there's four fucking million of that

1991 Topps 40th Anniversary Don Zimmer card right there four million in the world five variants Gavin pick one of the two Zims wait I can't pick the Phil Collins serial killer one? Oh, Dave Johnson? No, the red one. The Zimmer one.

Oh, no. That's a 1950s card. That'd be hard to find. Alright. It means 14 nights. I'm with Eric. This is a terrible podcast. I'm waiting for you to end it. This is a terrible podcast.

This is the episode where it went to shit. Okay. Thanks a lot. It was a good run. I feel like it's ended six times. That's why I've been quiet every time I'm waiting for you to do the outro and you just don't say anything. It's weird that you try and end it and we all sit in silence and then you're like, ah, it didn't end. Let's keep it going.

You do that check that's your outro I just want to I just want an answer to the Zimmer zone we have to deliberate on it we'll have an answer next week I mean if we want to get into card issues I'm just a patient talking about forever have you used the spreadsheet I sent you I made Jeff a fucking spreadsheet it's still

going I don't think he's used it yeah exactly I need to use the spreadsheet you're right Eric what do you think what's your pick on the well to use a smoke sheet you're right eric what do you think what's your pick on the well guys thanks for listening episode 37 of face we're really happy that you made it all the way to the bitter fucking end of this goddamn show i hope that you had a lot of fun where um jeff put on the right sock and andrew's gonna eat salad uh he watched he didn't know what y2k meant wacky stuffy stuff. In the next episode, even wackier. I hope that you guys will

stick around for the 38th episode, the ultimate episode where Andrew eats salad. Thank you guys so much, and we'll see you next time on F*** Face. We'll see you next time.