F**kface - F**kface Rock Not Rock Draft

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

F**kface is back with another draft, this time the pool is all things that are rocks but not rocks. In this contentious draft you can see how your own list stacks up against the F**kface crews. In what round was Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson taken? You gotta listen to find out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It is the rocks that aren't rock draft. The thing that Gavin hates the most. Gavin, why do you hate this? Why have you constantly shit on this, both publicly and behind the scenes? Well, I was like 7 out of 10 on the draft format. Because I kind of don't get it anyway. That's the point! Yeah, and now we're not drafting stuff that we can watch as funny clips. So, I'm like 5 out of 10 on this.

But, look, prove me wrong. I will be proven wrong. This is going to be amazing. I'm excited to see of ten on this, but look, prove me wrong. I will be proven wrong. This is going to be amazing. I'm excited to see what you'd pick because it just seemed like your heart, not that your heart wasn't in it, but you seem lost. You seem very confused and what makes a good pick.

My heart is all the way in and I'm just as confused as I was last time. Can I ask you a question with your heart all the way in? Yeah. This is all built, well, first off, let's assume that rocks

are the same everywhere, but I'm curious about your mall experiences in England, and I know that'll be the next video, but the way we had malls in America and Canada, do they have those in England, or is it all just like Harrods?

No, no, we have them. I would say most of them aren't as big as the vast beige expanses that you have. Are you guys talking about the mall draft during the rock? Not rock draft? We're just talking about drafts in general. No, we're not talking about drafts in general.

We're talking about malls in specific. We should get to the rock draft. Eric's got an excellent point. I know! Before we mention the rock draft, I have to preface this by saying something that you are going to hear me say every recording from here on until it happens. The fucking...

Austin, Texas deserves an NBA team. We proved it last night. Get your shit together. Rich billionaires in Austin. Buy us a fucking team. The city needs it. Okay, rock draft. Go.

Okay. Why don't we... So for the draft order, we can either do it random or we can have Nick set the order because he won the last draft. I'm happy with either. Can we set up what we're doing? We're drafting

rocks that aren't rocks. 3, 2, 1, go. I feel like it's pretty simple. If you watched, if you watched, it's not Paul's draft. It's the same principle. Who is coming into this as an entry point we have to but we have to treat it like it's an entry point it's going okay well this is we're gonna have a snake draft we're drafting things that are rock related as in they have the name rock but are not actually rocks and what have we established before is the moon

the moon is not a rock is what we've decided. I disagree. I think the moon is a rock. He decided the moon was out and also pet rocks out. Yeah, we can't do the moon and pet rocks. Pet rocks. Because they are rocks. They're rocks.

Because they are rocks, yeah. Yeah. I have a feeling that as we go, one thing is going to be a rock and we'll cause an argument. That'd be great. Not on my watch. Okay. So, I have random.org here ready to randomize.

Do it. Do it. Or Nick chooses the order. Okay, Nick is saying do random. That makes me want to have Nick do it even more. The fact that he's so adamant that it should be random. Poor Nick. That's a lot of pressure. That's a lot of pressure.

That's a lot of pressure. We could do it. Who do you think lost the last draft? I don't know. Probably me. I have no idea. Nobody's... I went for hyper-specific falls

that were only on TikTok in my feed in a year, so I didn't go for it. Yeah, did we do a poll? Was there a vote or was it just people commenting? No, just commenting. I think it was pretty roundly decided that Nick won, though, yeah.

Yeah. It seemed to be a good consensus. I definitely feel like I did worst. Okay, in that case, why don't we do, Jeff, since you're admittedly the worst, you go first, so we'll do, like, you know, that way you get the advantage this time around. And then since I won, I'll go last. Okay. Okay.

And now you just have to fill in the other three. Okay, so I'm going to randomly pick. Here we go. Gavin, Andrew, Eric. How did you randomly pick? Oh, sick. Gavin, Andrew, hang on. He just said names and whatever came out of his mouth.

I want this to be known. I don't have a problem with what has happened. Does not bother me whatsoever. I do want to say that you said i'll randomly pick and then just you did not you didn't say there was no i take it back eric goes last um what what i'm gonna share with you guys right now is here is our spreadsheet where we have. I can fill this in. Don't feel like you need to.

I can with our things. It is just it's there for your convenience to. That's great. Look at and then when we're done, we'll post an image of the whole thing. Perfect. That'll be it. So now we know that Jeff is going first. Gavin is going second.

Andrew is going third. I'm going second. Andrew is going third. I'm going fourth. Nick is going fifth. And then with snake draft rules, Nick will go first in the next round and will reverse the order. There are four slots. We are doing four choices. So that is how many rock not rocks we are drafting in this rock not rock draft.

Did I? Is that laid out? Well well it's great nailed it it's good excruciating detail okay that is it's so to say it's necessary i think is an understatement i know you're right you're right so uh jeff you are our first pick. You are up. All right, I'm going to share my screen because I prepared a slideshow. So can you guys see? Yes. I don't know how it works. You can see a picture of my rock, not rock raft. That's my cover sheet.

Watch the screen. That's great. You can see that. It's a picture of the rock holding a giant boulder. Nine slides. Yeah, I brought in slides. So I'm going to show you now two slides. The first slide and then

is my rock, my first rock pick, and then some fun facts about it. So first rock pick I picked. Can you see that? Rock candy. Good pick. I picked it because and I say it's yummy. That's the tagline. Rock candy. I hope nobody else picked it. Sorry if you did. I'm a big fan of rock candy. And here's five facts about rock candy. I hope nobody else picked it. Sorry if you did. I'm a big fan of rock candy.

And here's five facts about rock candy. Number one, rock candy is readily available in the gift shops of all roadside attractions in America. Number two, rock candy originated in Iran and India where it was used to sweeten tea. Did you know that fact number three states that in the Netherlands, it is often baked into a special bread? And number four, it was originally popularized in the 1800s as a cold remedy. That sounds ludicrous. And then the fifth and final fact about rock candy, it is rich in carbohydrates and high in calories. You need calories to survive.

First, let me just say, Jeff, I love that you've done a presentation. Thank you. I think that's great. I want to give you credit there I hate to do this that is a dog shit number one rock not rock pick I have rock candy

he pulled the stream down it is maybe like 15th on my list and I would maybe take that. It's a long shot for me. I respect you like it, but it is not. I can't believe you got shit on the first thing you did.

I mean, here's what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to shit on anybody else's rocks that are important to them. I've been eating rock candy since I was a child. If you were in America and you got to go to like a cave or some shit, you were very excited at the end of it to get the treat of rock candy at the gift store rock candy to me is an american fucking staple it's also apparently a staple in india and iran and the netherlands so suck my rock candy i how dare you how dare you insult rock candy you're just sad that i thought of it and i picked it and i picked it first because it'll be a cold day in hell before any of you guys pick my next rocks.

I guarantee you that. I had to get the obvious one out of the way. See, I thought that's like a sixth round. You would qualify rock candy as important to you? I had it a bunch when I was a kid. It's stuff's important. I mean, I'm not going to attack what is or isn't important to him, but it's like a mid-tier candy at best.

It's a candy. It's lower than that. Oh, it's a dog shit candy, but it's called rock candy, and it comes in it's just fucking crystallized sugar on a stick. It's ludicrous, but that's the point of it. How, you negative motherfuckers. Let's see,

alright, who's next? Yeah, Gavin, you are next. Don't feel like you have to provide a slideshow in Five Facts. You can just give us your pick. I'm sorry. I want this video to take longer than four fucking minutes. No, I love the slideshow, Jeff. All right, I posted mine.

What is that? Oh, crack. You're going crack. Your number one pick is crack? Yep. There you go. Way better than rock candy congratulations rock candy was great jeff you went crack for why why are you taking this in the first round crack rock i had at least a seventh round grade for crack rock i don't understand now i thought

that'd be um some backlash because technically it's a rock right yeah i just think it's a terrible pick so i don't really need to fight like i'm not gonna protest you have a crack rock you can have crack rock what is your problem why how are we doing this wrong why do you hate everything no i don't hate everything i just love it there's a little bit of reach it's like taking a punter in the first round. Yeah, it's just not great imagery. Now, is it? All right. Does a rock not a rock also have to be good imagery?

No, it's just a little rough to go. We started the draft with rock candy and then progressed into crack rock. Look. So my rock not rock is technically a rock, but the slang term for crack is rock. Yes. So mine is technically the term used nickname for crack. Now, Andrew, I will agree with you. I feel like this was like taking a punter in the first pick.

And then the second pick is a long snap. What's wrong with this? It's so bizarre. There's so many. The whole thing's bizarre. What do you want from me? Okay, what's bizarre is you said there's a clear number one overall, and that's not crack. That's not what you submitted.

Yesterday when we were recording, you said- Hey, Gavin? Well, I said you said I said everyone would pick The Rock and then everyone was like no I'm not picking The Rock

why would I do that oh I think you got you got flustered by the lack of The Rock is a great pick The Rock is should be in the first round in my opinion

well pick The Rock then you idiot I'm not because I think there's a better Rock Not Rock okay well

it's time for you to put your money where your mouth is because it's your pick. Hey, Gavin. Yeah. I think we're entering into Jeff and Gavin versus the rest of this era. You and me, buddy.

I know. We keep... Eye to eye, buddy. You and me. Fuck the rest of these losers. The two guys who had a boring off are going to be against the world. That's right.

I'm taking what I think. One of the most, if not the most iconic. It's a classic. Everyone knows it. It's undeniable. The great rock from Rock, Paper, Scissors. The hand rock from Rock, Paper, Scissors. Name a more iconic rock that isn't a rock.

That was powerful. I had that slated for second round. It's a go-to move. That's a pretty good one. Everybody knows it. It's great. Rock Candy is on my board too. Eighth round.

I was going for deep cuts. With the first pick, you're going deep cuts? It's a deep cut. My first pick was my least deep, trust me. Jeff, could you imagine if the Celtics GM or owner, after drafting the player, said, yeah, we wanted a deep cut, so we went with somebody no one's heard of. I didn't realize we're building a rock NBA team here.

I thought we were just being funny and clever. No, it's not NBA. I'm trying to be interesting, and I'm trying to pick things that people wouldn't normally think about as a rock NBA team here. I thought we were just being funny. I'm trying to be interesting and I'm trying to pick things that people wouldn't normally think about as a rock. Maybe you've, I mean, you've definitely done that with rock candy at a no more. Hell yeah.

Okay. I'm up next. And mine is, uh, uh, more of a concept, but it's encompassing and that'll be rock and roll. Uh,

just again, very, I think it's an obvious pick i don't think there's anything wrong with an obvious pick in the first round i think rock and roll as uh a choice in a rock not rock thing is where knee jerk you might go past the rock from professional wrestling so i feel very good about my first round pick. Was rock and roll a culmination of rock music and roll music, or did they come together from the start? I've had this thought recently. I don't know what roll is.

I've asked this. Is there just roll? Can a song just roll? I have no idea. I haven't got a clear answer. We should look into that. Yeah. Who's next?

Is Nick? Nick's pick? A final first round. I didn't hear Andrew's opinion on rock and roll. Oh, it's good. Who's next? Is Nick? Nick's pick? Final first round. I didn't hear Andrew's opinion on rock and roll. Oh, it's good. It's a great pick. You think he's not going to suck Eric off? Please. Why are you blowing Eric for that?

Because he didn't take crack rock in the first round. He made a sensible pick. Everyone knows rock and roll. It's a great pick. Everyone knows crack rock. Oh, man. Okay, so we talked about this in the episode, but I feel like I have to go with it just because it's one of the first R-rated movies

I saw as a kid. Are you going to double rock? No, he's going to double rock, isn't he? Michael Bay movie. Great movie. Sean Connery nicholas cage ed harris and a young john c mcginley from scrubs uh also i don't know if y'all know this but a popular fan theory is that sean connery's character is a version of james bond who was

washed up bond that's right oh i didn't know that is that like a headcanon thing yeah that's cool everyone should watch the outtakes of that movie by the way ed harris goes absolutely ape shit in them dude i sat next to ed harris at chewy's once about 15 years ago whoa wow that's pretty cool yeah it was you get his opinion on rock candy i didn't ask him no damn uh how do you feel so our first round is completed with jeff selecting rock candy gavin selecting crack rock, Andrew, rock from rock, paper, scissors, Eric, rock and roll, and Nick, the rock film.

First round in the books. I'm annoyed. I feel like Nick tried to gift, like he's like, you know what, Jeff? You're saying you didn't do well last time. I'll give you first. So he put Jeff and Gavin first, and they rewarded that by stepping in cement shoes and jumping into a lake like they

just have you used they've wasted their positioning and i feel nick your negativity is way unappreciated right now way off your draft board and i feel like you in a weird way nick has rewarded himself going last because he has an amazing swing position. I think he might go double rock, which is incredible. And I think he's

going to win this again. to find out, Nick, you have the first selection in our second round. What do you choose? Let me pull up a

picture. Oh, okay. Oh, I have a coupon on this. Oh, okay.

This is good. This is good. I have a coupon. Going with Rocky Road Ice Cream. I have a coupon. Going with Rocky Road ice cream. That's a great ice cream. I am on a tear of ice cream right now

and it's all thanks to when we watched Condor Man. I used to eat those like Halo Top diet ice creams and now I'm just like throwing caution

to the wind and I'm buying all the creamy creations that we can get up in here. Rocky Road is in the top. I had my Condorman crunch for like the next four evenings to finish that up. Do you watch Condorman

every time? Have you seen Condorman five times? That's a solid second choice. It's a great picnic. I really like that. There's a lot that I could do here with the second it's you've so much right but i'm sort of i think i'm gonna go against who okay my pick my second pick is rock band two oh great pick great band two i think is the height of the popularity of Rock Band, has an incredible list of songs, really fixed the hammer-on, pull-off issue that Rock Band 1 had.

And I just spent hours and hours and hours and hours and hours playing this game with friends. So Rock Band 2, I feel, is a very solid choice for my second round. I miss the era of video games with insane amounts of peripherals. Yes. Having the drum set, the guitar, like it was so much fun to like travel with, even though it was a headache to move. It's like buy a room. It is.

It's a great game. It's a great pick. But fuck, I'm in a tough spot now yes i was really hoping you would go with the rock was that one of your picks i am it was on the board i had rock man on the board i wasn't sure which one i'd go with but i think rock man 2 is a great choice i'm really because i'd be i i i understand uh your predicament andrew i feel like i was just in it where i went oh i know what i what I want, but there's such, you know, the obvious choice and it has, do you work for the block

or are you true to yourself? It's more of an issue for me where there's an obvious choice, but the one, yeah, I really want something, but I'm not confident it will get back to me. I'm worried about it. But with rock candy and crack rock, I don't feel like I can

predict what's coming next from Jeff and Gavin. You won't predict mine, I guarantee you. Okay, well, I'm gonna go with not the obvious one, although it should be taken by this one. I'm stunned that it's not taken. I'm going with an all-time classic. You cannot deny the power of John Tesh.

I'm going basketball. I'm going round ball rock. That's such a good one. NBC's on basketball theme. Fantastic. Great SNL sketch that I'd highly recommend watching. Yep. Fantastic song. It's ridiculous.

I'd watch his version of it for the photo I linked. It's hilarious. It's just so absurd. Great music. great music is pumped one of the best sports songs of all time i'd say far as like tv networks go um i think that that's a i think it's a really good choice i think that it's a lot of fun i will now it where we're at in the draft i will take back everything that i said about rock candy and Crack Rock. Thank you. Because now this is swinging back to Gavin and Jeff, and they have essentially the world wide open for whatever they want,

because there's no way they were picking any of those six, I think, other than maybe the Rock film. So I take it all back. Good picks on Rock Candy and Crack Rock. Well, no, I still think those are... Wait, nobody's taken Rock Candy first round. Or second round.

I just did. It's the number one pick in the draft. But Andrew, it's wide open. No, I understand. But I guess my concern, you guys just watched a basketball game that maybe put me a little paranoid on edge that Round Ball Rock was going to get taken.

I just really want it. I really want a John Tesh on my board. Okay, who's next? Gavin? I'm next. My pick. Jeff will know what this is. Bad Guy Daddy 3. Oh! Bad Guy Daddy 3! What? 30 Rock. Yeah.

That's a great choice. That is a great choice. When Millie was younger, she went through a phase where she always wanted to watch Liar Liar and she called it Bad Guy Daddy. And then I think we got sick of watching it, so we

wanted to watch all of The Office. So to make sure that Millie was fine with it, we named The Office Bad Guy Daddy 2. And then when we were done watching The Office, we moved on to bad guy daddy three which was all of 30 rock and she fucking fell for it because she was a little kid but she's just like where's bad guy daddy when is he gonna show up so i think michael scott was technically the second bad guy daddy and then

alec baldwin was the third yeah oh man i forgot about that i think that's a great choice that's a that's definitely like a first round pick that's a good one good a great great get wasn't even on my board that's a great pick fantastic uh prepare to hate my next pick uh i'm gonna share my screen you share're going to share your screen? Oh, I can't wait. The next pick for me, number two, is Rocky from The Rockford Files. Jim Rockford's dad on The Rockford Files was named Rocky. It's also my dad's favorite show, and when I would come home from the army to spend time with my dad, we would watch Rockford Files together. It was how we bonded.

So if you make fun of this, you're making fun of my dead father, and that's really sad. Five facts about The Rockford Files. Rocky. it was how we bonded. So if you make fun of this, you're making fun of my dead father. And that's really sad. Five facts about the Rockford Files. Rocky. The character was played by Noah Beery Jr. Rocky was a retired truck driver in the show. Number three, he was listed as number 45 on TV Guide's list of best TV dads of all time.

Number four, he received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame way back in 1960, way before the Rockford Files even aired. And number five, he died in 1994 of cerebral thrombosis. Oh, my God. Number two, Jeff, Rocky from the Rockford Files. The exclamation mark at the end of each fact is it hits really hard with a death one.

He did. Yeah. As rough. Jeff, I appreciate the pick. I think that's a wonderful story you shared. I'm not going to say anything negative about it. I love that you made the slides. I want that to be clear.

I'm a big fan of the slides. I think you've done a fantastic job in that regard. These may not be the rocks that the world would pick, but these are the rocks that mean something to me and my family. Yeah. I respect it. I mean, that's weird for a... Like, that's cool, and I get that mean that's weird for a like that's cool and I get that yeah you're for

a draft that we're all doing you gotta like team chemistry is one of the most important things like and so I gotta build a team that I feel comfortable with being a part of didn't you say

earlier like oh are we drafting a per we're not drafting a perfect basketball team isn't that the thing you said I'm not saying it's a perfect basketball team I'm saying it's a perfect basketball team. I'm saying it's a team that has good chemistry.

I'm building unity. That's a good one, too, because his entry has Rocky from the Rockford Files, which is two references of the word rock in the same way. It's the first double rock from Rock, Paper, Scissors. Kind of doubling it. And I will say, Jeff, you probably should have kept sharing your screen because you are up next. Oh, okay.

I am up next. Well, here we go. Let me switch back over and share my screen again. Okay. He might... I never even considered the possibility of a double Rocky. Yeah. Alright, so I'm going to move on. My third rock in the Rock

Not Rock draft is the Moon Rockers. They really rock. I don't know if you guys remember the Moon Rockers. They were the replacement band for the Rockafire Explosion at Showbiz Pizza. Here's five facts about the Moon Rockers. They were a retrofitted

version of the Rockafire Explosion. The members of the band, this is a second fact, were Princess Haley, Quasar, Admiral Orc, Ozone, Mulgama, and Sismas. And number three, it was possible to change the Rock of Fire characters into the Moonrockers in just 20 minutes. Number four, they were available as an add-on to the Rock of Fire Explosion for just $15,000, which is a bargain if you think about it, because the Rock of Fire Explosion was like 75 grand.

So then you get like a basically a second band for only 15,000 more. And fact number five, there's not many facts about them online. I've never heard of them. I miss the idea of novelty restaurants with gimmicky shit in them. Like I want more rainforest cafes. Yeah, I want more animatronics. That's ridiculous. They were at the tail end of the height of animatronics.

Really? Yeah, that's interesting. I've never been to like of the height of animatronics. Really? Yeah. That's interesting. I've never been to like a showbiz pizza or like anything like that. I would have loved to have experienced that.

I have no, and you're not going to upset, my dad didn't take me to the showbiz casino or anything. He didn't? Okay. No, like it wasn't like

the last thing he did before he died or anything, so feel free to shit on my third one. No, you know what? You've been clear. You're team heart. You're going with your heart i'm not gonna attack you i've seen the moon rockers in my childhood i remember

them very clearly because they were fucking weird and they were all aliens and i was like i want the bear back you know i'm just the rock fire explosion i know you've structured this way would you say that you like rock candy more than that memory of your father and rocky and rockford files does that have more weight to you? No, I said I was picking rock candy first just because I thought I had the biggest chance of getting picked by somebody else.

I had zero fear that you guys had ever even heard of the Moon Rockers or Rocky. Okay, fair enough. Gavin? Okay, my third pick. Bam! Oh! Rock Lobster. Okay, fair enough. Gavin? Okay, my third pick. Bam. Oh, Rock Lobster. A Rock Lobster.

It's a good one. No, it's not. It's not. It's a song? It's a song. It's a twofer. Wow. You got the B-52s and Seafood Restaurant.

There you go. This is unbelievable. What do you mean? Well, I think it's a great pick. No, it's not. It's not the problem. Once again, the problem is he said that there's another pick

that is obviously the first overall that's taken and he's now taken three things ahead of it. That's what's baffling to me. I don't know how this works. I don't know what I should be doing. Gavin, I think you made a great pick. You're doing fantastic. What you should be doing is not listening to Andrew

because he doesn't make a lot of sense. He's all over the map. I think I'm being very clear on this. Honestly, I'm throwing these in and I'm squinting my eyes shut because I don't know what's going to happen. You shot on crap rocks. I got a good shot for 30, Rock.

I got a shot for Rock Lobster. I don't know what's going to happen whenever I put one in. 30, Rock. Shout out for Rock Lobster. I don't know what's going to happen whenever I put one in. Oh, man. Do you feel like I'm on a freaking deal or no deal? Are you still a 7 out of 10 on this? Yeah, where are you at right now? What number would you put yourself at?

I was feeling pretty good after 30. Right now I'm at a 4 again. Why? I think everyone else said it's good Rock Lobster is good I love it but it's Andrew's bit and he's shitting on it no I'm just saying I think contextually it's it's there's other things

to take I think there's a big one there's other things to take do you want me to just take it do I have to take it I didn't want to do this I didn't plan on doing this but I can't believe I'm still getting I'm going with Dwayne the Rock Johnson yeah yep the all time all-time biggest one of the biggest movie stars if not the biggest movie star in the world yep so many great movies fast five the rundown just an all-around talent i mean that's not even talking about his wrestling career yep unbelievable the biggest rock that is

in iraq possibly in the world at financially, I think that's undeniable. Yeah, he was my cover sheet. He main evented four WrestleManias. Like, he's a, I mean, really, he's the man definitely on the list, but... I'd say the only place he's failed is video games. Are you not going to post a picture of the rock? Well, you know, you covered it already. It was on your spreadsheet.

I could... Okay. Honestly, I can find one, but I didn't expect to get him in the third round. That's fine. I'm going to go with my favorite Rock era Rock. I'm going to take a... Specifically, The Rock from The Rundown. Scorpion King.

Nah. A little past that. A little after that. Slight adjustment. Rock from The Rundown. Oh! You like The Rundown, huh? My the rundown my favorite rock movie yeah i've never seen that it's funny funny yeah it's a good movie good action movie okay great pick i'm next uh i am i'm gonna take a pick that i don't know that i don't know that everyone's gonna agree with but i'm gonna go for it um I'm gonna go with uh Ad-Rock from the Beastie Boys oh that's great that's a great one really good I mean really fantastic lyrics like well my name is Ad-Rock I'm a Scorpio don't ask me because I just don't know

famously married to Ione Sky yep uh now Now he's married to, I think, the lady from Bikini Kill, Catherine... Yes, that is true. Yeah, I think they're married. The screaming woman? Yeah, yeah, on my phone. My phone ringer, the screaming lady,

that's who's married to him. That's a great point, Gavin, yeah. That's such a good pick, Eric. Adam Horowitz. I can't believe I missed him. Feel really good about Ad-Rock. Ad-Rock, truly the king. Really big fan.

So happy with the Beastie Boys pick on this thing. Such a good pick. I love the Beastie Boys. I can't believe I never even considered Ad-Rock. Wow, it wasn't even on your list? It wasn't even on my list. Missed my board completely. Great pick.

And I love Ad-Rock. My favorite Beastie Boy. God damn it. I'm mad at myself. Kathleen Hanna. That's her name. Great pick. And I love Ad Rock. My favorite Beastie Boy. God damn it. I'm mad at myself. Kathleen Hanna. That's her name. Great choice. Great choice.

Nick? I feel like you have put a lot of pressure on with that one. And so I have reconsidered my third pick. I know what my fourth one is going to be. So I think I'm going to drop what I originally had. And I'm going to pivot to something. I don't know if anyone remembers this show or not. Third Rock from the Sun.

Oh, wow. Good one. Good one. We got John Lithgow. You got a bunch of young, what the hell is his name? I can't remember. French Stewart. French Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Yeah, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Kristen Johnson. Also, Wayne Knight from Seinfeld. Great show. Completely forgot about it. And I think it might be worth a rewatch. I think John Lithgow is a great actor. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, obviously, is a great actor.

I think you drafted this appropriately with the third round pick of Third Rock from the Sun. I think there's a lot to like about this. Yeah, it's a good pick. It's funny when you grow up with... And I think it's draft appropriate. When you grow up with Lithgow in this and then you watch him in Dexter and you to like about this. I think it's a good pick. It's funny when you grow up with... And I think it's draft appropriate. When you grow up with Lithgow in this, and then you watch him in Dexter,

and you're like, oh. He's got some range. Quick to range. Yeah, a little bit. Great pick. Your last pick, Nick. Last pick. So this one,

I was going to go with no matter what, I think. Unless somebody had picked it first. But it might be a little controversial, but I'm going to go with Rolling Rock Beer. Wow. Now, the reason I go with it with it no matter what it's always skunky if you love that taste for some reason but it's the beer i feel like that your dad always has in his fridge when you go home to visit and it's usually the thing that you probably have for the first time with your dad uh so it's one of the first things i ever had when i was old enough to drink a beer like that I had with my dad so I've only heard of that because of angry video game nerd oh yeah him too after that I went on

a kick yeah it was popular in the army because it's real cheap it's super cheap dude yeah we used to drink it a lot in the army college beer that's great fourth pick thank you way to go Nick your your list is complete it's a it's really good one. I think you did a really good job. Yeah, you did a fantastic job. I'm torn. I'm torn for my last pick. I have a theme going, and I think I'm going to stick with it.

I guess we'll talk about all of our runners-up later, like when we're done, because I think we're going to have a lot that didn't make the board. So I'm just going to go with my pick now. And this fits within my theme of all music, Because I think we're going to have a lot that didn't make the board. So I'm just going to go with my pick now. And this fits within my theme of all music. Which is what I was not trying for.

But definitely ended up with. My final pick is Chris Rock. Thank you. Who has a song that he's known for to be a comedian. However, Table Dance, great song. And that is why I picked Chris Rock. That's why he's in my fourth slot. Table Dance, way to go, Chris Rock. Everything you're doing, keep it up, man.

You're on top of the world right now. And I can't wait to see what's next for Chris Rock. It's a good pick. I mean, he played CB4. CB4's classic. Yeah, you had a lot of angles on the music thing. Sweat from the balls. I do appreciate you went all musical rocks,

was your idea. I think that's a great theme. I was really torn between my next pick and Chris Rock, so you made that a lot easier for me. I appreciate that. Great pick, Eric. Really strong board overall as well, in ways that a lot easier for me. I appreciate that. Great pick, Eric. Really strong board overall as well. And in ways that like a lot of things I didn't even consider.

Great picks. And now it's your turn. Yeah. To round up my draft, I am going to take a film. I'll just quickly prepare a photo for it. It was written by Mike White, Survivor player, also creator of The White Lotus, starring Jack Black. I am going to be taking School of Rock. Oh, good one. One of my favorite movies growing up.

Yep. I watched it a lot. Directed by Austin's own Richard Linklater. Yep. It's the Linklater thing. It's great. I had the album as a kid. It was fantastic.

Big part of my childhood. Loved School of Rock. It's a great rock, not rock. Good choice. And that's my pick. Solid choice. Who's of my childhood. Loved School of Rock. It's a great rock, not rock. Good choice. And that's my pick. Solid choice. Who's next? Gavin. Where's my picture?

Oh, there we go. There we go. This one is not necessarily a crowd pleaser, but a room pleaser. Bam. K-Rock. Oh! Dick Gavin Great pick Oh what a pick

Thank you Gavin That might be the best pick Oh wow Wow Wow Bit Howard Stern Oh

Gav That's a killer Wow Oh my god I'm so Honestly I still had no idea If I was gonna be shit on for that I don't know no that's phenomenal

we're in the fourth round great great I can't believe you snuck that one in that's a great one man I'm so relieved share my screen you ended strong on that one good one to end on

great I guess I'm gonna close the rock draft on that one. Way to go, man. Good one to end on. Way to go. Greatly to the audience for the crowd. I guess I'm going to close the Rock Draft out with my fourth pick. It's the final pick in the draft.

I'm amazed. I'm happy nobody picked it before I did, but I didn't really expect you to. The pick I'm going to end this with is 30 North Rockingham Avenue.

Does anybody know what 30 North Rockingham Avenue is Does anybody know what 30 North Rockingham Avenue is? It's got a dark history. Wait, 30 or 360? I'm sorry, 360 North. 360 North Rockingham Avenue. Sorry. What?

360 North Rockingham Avenue is famous, one of the most famous addresses in America. Famous because it's where OJ Simpson lived. Oh, my God. Here are five facts about 360 North Rockingham. Number one, it no longer exists. It was sold and then razed to the ground in 1998 and a new house was built on it.

Number two, Kato Kaelin lived in the guest house. Famous Kato Kaelin. Number three, it is only about two miles from the house where Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman were brutally murdered. Number four, OJ bought the house in 1907 for only $650,000. And number five, OJ is guilty as shit, allegedly.

There you go. That's my final pick of the 360 North Rockingham. You know, when Gavin took Crack Rock, I thought he was going to draft the only killer. I didn't expect there to be a murder house involved. Well, to be fair, nobody was murdered in that house.

That's just where OJ lived. That's where he lives. When he murdered his wife and her platonic friend, by the way. I don't think there was anything going on. This might be the most bonkers piece of content we've made yet. Now, it's not alleged he lived there, right? We can't confirm. No, he's confirmed to have lived there.

He definitely lived there. They had to bulldoze the house because so many people would come by to take photos. It was creating tons of traffic and issues they couldn't resolve. And so eventually they just had to bulldoze the house. And then when they built the new house, they turned it. So the address is no longer. There's no longer a 60 North Rockingham. The address changed.

Wow. That's crazy. Uh, well, interesting picks. Let's, run through this draft board one last time, and then maybe talk about some runners up some things that we didn't get on

here. Um, first up Jeff's drafts are rock candy, Rocky from the Rockford files, the moon rockers in three 360 North Rockingham Avenue. I like to get progressively niche. Jeff told me yesterday as we were going to the game, oh, there's no way you guys are getting any of these.

And I think I told him, I'm not really sure if that's what you're looking for in the draft winning one it's what i was looking for for sure you did it um next up is gavin who was not sure what this was or how to do it um was crack rock 30 rock rock lobster and k rock great i mean really i it started i will say maybe a little shaky with crack rock real dark picks yeah yeah really once again my issue is is less like those are all great rock not rock picks it's like where they were taken is mainly my issue where they were taken yeah so like if you would have taken crack rock in the fourth round i would have supported it fully it's just coming out with crack rock it's a little strong and like reverse i still don't agree with that next time i'll ask you what order i should do it of your board i would have went 30 rock rock lobster k rock crack rock okay why just i feel the value shifting those it would just be

like i gotta be honest with you i think the value of crack rock is probably higher than anything else on the board but nobody's gonna take crack rock that's the problem too many people take crack rock that's why it's worth so much but not in this context the best but i don't know what you mean you you would take crack rock over the rock or chris rock or any of these other things the residuals on crack rock are way higher than the residuals on 30 rock i guarantee you i appreciate that you keep explaining this to gavin and he keeps saying i don't know what you mean and there's no effort to try to help him understand. There's no explanation. I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have done it.

It's a value. It's a value proposition. The value, what value? I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think of something. I don't know what you want from me. Okay, Gavin, it would be like if we were going to say what are the best Xbox 360 games

and you went Vampire Survivors first round, or whatever. Not that game. Vampire Reign. Whatever that shitty vampire game. We're doing Best Rocks. The goal... What do you mean?

The best rocks that aren't rocks? Yeah. You wanted to try to present the strongest board to win. The draft. By the best. Now you can, I guess, measure what the best is differently, but I feel like Crack Rock

is a tough first one to start with. I mean, I couldn't disagree more. Apparently the track crack rock is worth like $1.3 trillion a year. And yeah, that seems pretty high value. And I rock and how much money is made from the rock from rock, paper,

scissors. Yeah, not a lot, but it has a lot of, it's every, it's everyone has it for free. You can't even buy it. It's the lowest value game.

It's true. You can give Crack Rock away, but it just brings people back to pay for it. Nobody's like, here's a free game. The first game of Rock, Paper, Scissors is free. You gotta pay me two bucks for the next one. Unless you start charging

for games of Rock, Paper, Scissors. I may be greatly underestimating the power of track rock but i just don't in the first round it's i don't know nobody's dying for rock paper scissors well uh speaking of rock paper scissors here's andrew's draft board the rock from rock paper scissors round ball rock by john tash Rock from Rock, Paper, Scissors, Round Ball Rock by John Tesh, Dwayne The Rock Johnson in the third round, and School of Rock to round it out. I feel great about my board. There's some of my own personality. Was your School of Rock the film or the soundtrack or the

school in School of Rock? See, I had this conversation with Gavin yesterday. I was worried that if I drafted School of Rock the movie, could somebody then draft School of Rock the soundtrack school of rock soundtrack I don't think probably would have thought of that except you I was just thinking

of like weird double scenarios I think maybe you outmaneuvered yourself there bud well it's fine it didn't come up I was just curious what would happen is that even allowed like I just curious how that would have played out but didn't have to worry about that so So you talked to Gavin about it? Well, I just mentioned that, like, the possibilities of, I couldn't, maybe there were other examples

that I wasn't aware of. Right. So you talked to Gavin about it, the guy who came into this saying, I don't know what this is or what we're doing. Or just, we're just talking casually. Is this something I brought up in conversation? I feel like when Gavin, Gavin and Andrew talk about rules of anything, it just gets more confusing.

That is true. Gavin and I together make the worst rules committee. I just don't see how that conversation is different from, is The Rock, the movie, different to The Rock, the Alcatraz prison or the island. Because they're different. these are the same product it's just like pulling a part of the specific narrative of school of rock in a listenable form the story of Alcatraz is not the story of the rock the movie starring fucking Sean Connery and

Ed Harris why is he gonna be fucking Sean Connery i because he is okay i didn't name him that jeff argue with his parents it's not my fault i didn't do that i named the fucking sean connery next up is my music themed uh draft list of rock and roll rock band 2 ad rock from the beastie boys and chris rock uh i feel good about my theming i am so mad about the add rock pick it was a good like a good way like that was such a such a great pick feel good about it wasn't even in my but he did it third yeah which is is great it's a great move by him it wasn't even on my radar it should have been i don't know if gavin was being accusatory or trying to like also get in on it. I'm trying to learn without asking questions and it's making it worse.

Gav, there's nothing to learn. There's no consistency. There's no insight for you to glean from any of this. I promise you. It doesn't make any sense. it doesn't make any sense and finally finally Nick

who went last he has chosen The Rock the film Rocky Road Ice Cream Third Rock from the Sun and Rolling Rock Beer I think those are all

very good choices all different all different things you went for a theme. I was trying to pick a different genre. Yeah, you got a good variety of stuff. Definitely. Rocky Road Ice Cream, great.

We can let people vote when this comes out so we can see who they think won. Who do we think won? I mean, I obviously think I won. You do? I think I easily had the best four. Gavin, do you think Jeff won? Sure.

I mean, I definitely lost, apparently, because I did crack rock, so I'm not... No, it's... It's not a terrible... Sorry, I did crack rock first. That's why I lost. It's just confusing when you said literally a day ago you're going to take the rock first overall.

It's a little bit weird. Well... You did. You said undeniably there is a number one overall. I got talked out of doing that because I thought whoever goes first is going to pick the Rock Johnson. Somehow ended up in the third round. I would say if you looked at

our draft board as a teeter-totter, Jeff and Gavin's feet are high up in the air. I don't know what you just said. I Is not being high in the air good or bad? Isn't that what you want from a teeter-totter? To go high? No, I disagree.

So I think what you're saying is like, Gavin and I are closer to the sun and heaven. I need like a translator for these. Are you quite dead to death on the board? Maybe it's a Canadian thing. I think I'm being very clear. You know, I'll be honest. The message got a little muddied with crack rock.

But I think there's a clear... If you did this Family Feud style, and you said, name rock not rock, crack rock is not in the top ten. I don't know that that's true. I don't know that I agree with that at all. Maybe I just have a bias against the crack rock. I don't know. We'll find out at all. Maybe I just have a bias against the crack rock. I don't know.

We'll find out. It's like you spent too much time listening to fucking D.A.R.E. speeches in gyms across grade schools in Canada, probably. No, yeah, I gave one of those speeches. See, there you go. You're biased against crack rock. Yeah, I am. I think you're right. I think I'm in a bubble. I'm You're biased against crack rock. Yeah, I am. I think you're right.

I think I'm in a bubble. I'm in a bubble against crack. I think we're not going to see. I don't think we're going to land on who won. That's fine. Are there any that you didn't pick or that didn't make the draft board that you feel like you want to put out there? I have six, if you don't mind. Please.

These are my backups. Rock the Kazba by the Clat. No, I don't mind please of course these are my backups Rock the Kazba by The Clash no I don't have pictures of them or anything Rock the Kazba by The Clash the old comic book hero Sergeant Rock Rocky and Bullwinkle who I was a big fan of that's on my list

the Korean Rock Army they're fucking awesome Pop Rocks I liked Rocky Candy more than Pop Rocks. And then Boulder, Colorado. Oh, Boulder, Colorado is a really good one. Yeah, it's where JonBenet Ramsey was killed. I was thinking about going just with murders.

Then I decided not to. I had the Colorado Rockies on mine. That's a good one. But on those rocks? Yeah, that would have been contentious. Potentially what the baseball team. Yeah. Oh, the baseball.

Oh, OK. Good point. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes. I'm talking about the baseball team, the Colorado Rockies. Listen, I'm in not the specifically the Rocky Mountains in Colorado.

Yeah. I'm talking about those. Gavin and I are shared together in a non-baseball bubble like i am in a non-crack bubble got it um i had rockabye baby i felt i felt like that one was strong but the one that i wanted to pick and then ended up not picking uh was my friend rocco and yeah i just didn't want to get away from i felt like my music theming I really enjoyed. That would have been really funny. Yeah, I just, I wanted to pick my friend Rocco, but then. But would you say he's a rock? See, that's why, that's also why I did not pick him,

because tough, like to have to make a case for it is very tough. You know what I mean? Gavin, would you let me or no? I don't know why you're asking me anything about this. I just want to know what you think. I don't know. That's the point. But I want to know what you think.

In this moment, what do you think? Would you be okay with it? Well, it's not spelled R-O-C-K. That's true. It's R-O-C-C-O, right? Right. But what about... I had Jay-Z's Rockefeller Records.

Would I not be able to have Rockefeller records? Huh? I don't know. I think I'd allow that. I think I'd be OK with it. I mean, Gavin, you were so adamant just now about it being spelled rock. I just don't know why you hold the line, bud. I mean, I would have had the same issue with the Korean army, right? Like that's R.O.K. R.O.K. Wow. Fair point. Yeah, I don't...

I think those picks would get away. I think if Gavin was more confident leading the charge against them, I would be with him and make that charge, but I don't think I'd lead that. I think I'd be okay with all those picks. I'd have been totally fine with it. I had a stick of rock, which I guess is rock candy.

No, it's totally different. I don't think you could cheat. Again, Jeff, pick rock candy right away. That was going to be my first pick, and then Jeff picked rock candy and got a chat on, and I was like, thank Christ that I didn't pick that.

Wait, hang on. You were going to pick rock candy also in the first round? It's not such a dumb idea now. I take back everything I said about rock candy as an A number one choice. I absolutely stand corrected. Wow. I didn't know what was happening when he was getting shound

and I just quickly had to find a fourth Like another one I was freaking out So crack rock was a panic pick Yeah I pivoted to crack From From stick of rock

So what I'm hearing is if I didn't pick Rock candy first I would have lost my choice You would have That's why I'm talking prudent to pick rock candy first, I would have lost my choice. You would have. Prudent to pick rock candy! Number one in the goddamn draft is the LeBron James of rocks, baby! It's Victor Wibinyama! Oh, it's awesome!

I mean, Jeff, you picked rock candy and fucked up Gavin's whole board. Yeah, you did. I posted this picture as well in the episode when we were discussing this whole idea And then I didn't even get to use it. Oh I feel so fucking well. I mean you brought up drafting the rock and you didn't pick him either I will say in an argument even though you did fuck up his board

It is tough Jeff on the guy that is constantly saying I don't know what's going on has the same first overall pick all I'm saying Is 40% of the group picked rock candy first Can I share the origin of this really dumb draft idea yeah, I was watching Just like old like VHS. You know like like instructional type videos, and there is a great Awful one called rocks winning workout workout let me introduce you to rock this is the start of this idea this is rock here's an informational video called rock swimming workout without weights i can't tell if that's a lower third or whether it's written on his shirt what is that let's go to the third it's a lower third um it's great it's a tape where he shows

how to work out but doesn't do any working out himself and it feels like he's got a homeless guy doing like squats uh that he's friends with and the middle of the tape is interrupted by this like 80 year old man discussing how the prohibition should come back because he hates alcohol it is fantastic that is the origin of this i saw that and i was like huh there's a lot of rocks that aren't rocks. And that is how this all came to be. Definitely the thumbnail I'm going to use. He's got such a like, he's got his arms on his side and he's like,

it's not the posture of a dude who's about to teach you how to work out. He just looks disappointed. He looks like a Far Cry character. Like everything about the rock. The way he looks. a far cry character like the way he looks he's great i love him any other uh any other rock picks that we didn't get but we feel like should be honorable mentions i mean i had a huge list that i i was surprised didn't get used yeah i had a couple that we didn't use. You want to say yours?

Rocco's Modern Life. Yeah, I know Rocco was up for discussion, but I completely had forgotten about that show. And then the Rock and Roller Coaster at Disney World. Oh! A Jack Petillo pick, yeah. I don't think I would have let you get away with that if I picked Rock and Roll. Oh, interesting. But you let Jeff get away with moon rockers.

Yeah, but they're like, that's like I looked at pictures of them and they're more like a synth band. They're more space music. Yeah, Gavin, what I meant is they're more space music. That's right. What else, Nick?

And then, do you remember Fraggle Rock? Of course. It was on my board. It was on my board. Love Jim Henson. Nobody picked the Rockettes either. That's true. Yeah, Fraggle Rock is great.

Great theme song. Prudential. Get a piece of the rock. We didn't pick that. Prudential insurance. Andrew, do you want to run down your list of ones you didn't? Yeah, sure. I had.

I'm just going through. We will rock you. Detroit Rock City. Rocky. I had. I had rock candy 11 when I was coming up on my list. Originally. Rap rock.

Punk rock. Hard rock cafe. Crack rock 22 crocodile shit on both of the things that were on his own list i just don't understand they're just lower they're just lower on the list lower on the list like he doesn't see the same value uh in them as he does as round ball rock okay yeah this is my opinion though yeah i could be wrong maybe i'll be greatly wrong as we said i think i might be in a crack rock bubble we'll see there's gotta be a better way to say that they're just i think it's the perfect way i am in the crack rock bubble of uh i hate god i'm just a crack rock hater okay i guess i need to own up to the fact just hate it oh god i love it well

not crack rock i don't love crack i love how stupid this is and we have to do this again right after we're gonna do it one more time so we should wrap this up yep i also have a suggestion for our fourth draft oh yeah i have a very funny story about this oh do you well is it a different one because you pitched me one yeah no it's a different one okay go ahead falls ball oh i think we should do a falls too oh i thought you said balls and i was i absolutely thought he said balls oh no for falls falls because um there are so many good falls that i forgot about oh you want to just redo our first draft? Your suggestion? I just wanted to come back around to falls eventually.

We definitely need to do a falls round too. I want to do one that just falls from Sloppy Joe's. I've been saving enough of them. Weeks ago after we recorded an episode, Gavin once again shit on this idea. Just the two of us. And I was like, well, you know what? You come up with a draft idea that what do you think would be a great draft topic? And he said explosions.

And I was like, you know, it's pretty good. I kind of like that. We're going to go from video to video. They're like videos of really good explosions. I like explosions as an option, but next one, our next draft is malls in the sense of if we are all a mall, what stores would we have?

I gotta say, I don't think this episode suffered in any way by not being video. No, not at all. I agree. Why would it need to be video? It doesn't. That's what I'm saying. The falls one had falls that we watched. This was just images of the Moonrockers or whatever.

So, I mean, it never needed to be video to begin with. The video version of this will actually have more in it than the Falls one. It will. I can't believe that we're coming up on an hour of this draft. I thought this would be like 20 or 30 minutes. I wanted to do both of them together because I thought neither of them would be long enough on their own. We've done 150 episodes of the podcast, and I don't know how you guys always come in and go like, I don't know about this one. I don't know if we have anything.

It's an hour and a half of what animal is most sneaky that just sets everyone on a fucking tizzy. So like we're always good. We're going to be fine. fine well listen to the uh hang on face podcast uh if you listen to this and you don't listen to the regular podcast that's absurd uh so thank you for listening to this you guys have any uh parting words for the people listening to this draft list. Say no to crack. Yeah, don't do or sell drugs, although it is a way more lucrative way to go about it than trying to, I don't know, license round ball rock.

And be on the lookout for our next draft, mall draft. It's going to be amazing. If you thought this sucked, wait until you see the mall draft. mall draft, it's going to be amazing. If you thought this sucked, wait until you see the mall draft. I guess I just want to apologize again. I guess I just want to apologize again.