F**kface - F**kface State Draft

Episode Date: July 29, 2023

The F**kface crew is back with another draft, this time they're drafting States. It was Eric's idea and what do you think Andrew is going to do? Finally a finite pool to draft from, you would think. Who won? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. Hello and welcome to another F*** Face Brand Draft. That's right, it's your favorite piece of supplemental content, or maybe it's not. Either way, it does exist and it's happening right now. Today we're going to do Eric's not. Either way, it does exist and it's happening right now. Today, we're going to do Eric's idea. Eric wanted to do a draft of the 50 states, the 50 U.S. states.

It's going to be interesting to get the perspective of Andrew and... I knew as soon as we started, I knew it was going to be what, how... I talked to my wife about this. How is Andrew going to not draft the 50 States of the United States? It's a state's draft. There was never any mention of US specific states. What I was hoping for was that we were going to see what, what I was hoping. Jeff, didn't I tell you this in the car? I believe you did.

Yeah. I believe you did. I said, what do you think Andrew's going to do? in the car? I believe you did. Yeah. I believe you did. I said, what do you think Andrew's going to do? So, what I was hoping for is that we had a draft with a pool where I would pick something, you would pick something, you'd be like,

oh man, you picked this thing, oh, I picked that thing. Like. A finite draft pool, you mean. Correct. What a novel concept. Uh-huh. And then, Jeff, and Jeff, what's happening now? Now I think Andrew's opening it up to states of being and emotional states and all kinds of other things

that include the word state. Well, it has always been pitched as a state's draft. There was never any specific U.S. mention. I told you. I told you what was going to happen. Okay. Yep. Hang on.

Let's see what Eric originally wrote. In the original text. State's draft. We've talked state songs. Think on it. Yeah. And then is there more to the conversation? Jeff says,

I do like the idea where the pool isn't everything ever. I just took that as a necessary dig. So I perceive that comment. So what we were hoping for was that it was just going to be states of the union and uh well there's no union it was just states but okay i have my states ready okay and i'll put them all right any of your fancy states see this is

what of course so the way this works is we do a snake draft why do we do a snake draft you'd have to ask andrew but he won't give you a real answer uh the way that works and we're gonna do we do in order of first we do uh typically we run with ag neg but for these drafts specifically we go through a randomizer.org uh is going to randomize it a certain number of times what's the number for this draft? 7? Is it 7? I'm fine with that. 7 okay with everybody?

Let's do it at 7. Okay I'm going to list from our last order that's what our jumping off point will be we're going to randomize this 7 times the first order without randomizing this is the way their input andrew jeff gavin eric nick one randomized here it is nick jeff gavin andrew eric number two eric gavin jeff andrew nick egan great number three Andrew, Nick. Egan. Great. Number three. Jeff, Gavin, Nick, Andrew, Eric.

We've seen that one before. Eric, Andrew, Nick, Gavin, Jeff. Ing. Here's five. Eric, Gavin, Jeff, Andrew, Nick. Egan again. Uh-huh. Here's six.

Nick, Gavin, Jeff, Eric, Andrew, and number seven. This will be our draft order. Andrew. Oh, an egg. An egg. An egg. Oh, my God. We got an egg.

I cannot believe it. Wow. I've won the draft three times in a row. Yeah. Truly an unlucky number. Okay, seven. Do you guys want me to share? Yes.

No, I don't know. What? You can put your own in, I guess. I don't have to share my screen anymore, but share the, there is the draft list. You should have it now. I think it's good to have a visual reference so we don't, you know, mistakes.

Yeah, just in case. Definitely. Okay, well, I think it's good to have a visual reference so we don't yeah just in case the states definitely okay well originally this was supposed to be for just the 50 states of the union as I went on to say this will be great because we're going to end up picking 20 states and there will be 30 that aren't picked

making the 50 which are the states of the union however Andrew is going to pick like Nirvana or whatever and that would be what we are doing here so andrew you can lead us off because you're the first pick in the face states draft now this is a really important pick this is an important draft for me because i was the one that

brought the draft table i really like my performance in the last draft i don't know if i like my performance overall, but I've learned some things. I've learned some things during this process. I think it's really important to have a winner's mentality and an empire state

of mind, some might say. Are you padding for time right now? No, I'm just explaining my pick. What's wrong? I'm not allowed to explain my pick. Did you lose some paperwork on the desk or something and you're just trying to find it and so you're just vamping until you get there? No. No, I'm getting there.

I'm explaining the pick. That's very rude. That's not an empire state of mind mindset you're having. That's very rude. So I'm taking empire state of mind. There's several references. He's saying that specifically. This is so rude. So I'm taking Empire State of Mind. There's several references. He keeps saying that specifically. This is so fucked.

I'm drafting Empire State of Mind. It's a good perspective to have. What I've learned on these drafts is people love crack. I believe Jay-Z was in that world at one time. He's changed. He's elevated. He's now living his best life on a jet ski.

If this is what an Empire state of mind looks like, I want it. So I'm taking Empire state of mind as the number one state. Love it. Great. Jay-Z on a jet ski looks like Gus all the time.

Gus on his little bike. Yeah. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's very funny. Okay. Empire State of Mind as the first pick. Eric Thors? Yeah.

Not, I mean, close to what I was hoping for, but close as no cigar, I suppose. Nick, you have the second pick in the first round Well Eric, I might make you happy with this one because it's an actual state in the Union and it's home to one of my favorite cities in the world beautiful Pacific Northwest area

Mount Rainier I'm going with the state of Washington Washington That's a good one I love that state So the first pick Of Washington. Washington. That's a good one. That's good. I love that state. Okay. So the first pick was Empire State of Mind.

The second pick is Washington. Washington. I think Empire State of Mind is a little better. Washington, personally. I've been to Washington. I would take Empire State of Mind over Washington any day. Okay. Okay. Okay.

This is going to be a weird draft. My pick. I'm the third pick in the first round. Very easy for me. No hesitation. This should have been a number one. California. Best state in the union.

Biggest state in the union. I think it's like the number seven GDP in the world. Number five. It's number five. What? It's number five GDP in the world. Number five. It's number five. What? It's number five GDP in the world. Knew that right offhand. Great.

Anyway, California is my state, and that will be my pick in the first round, the best state. Jeff, you're the next one. A bit fiery, though, isn't it? It's a little hot. A bit fiery? It's got a lot of water.

It has a lot of water. It also has a lot of mountains and a lot of snow. Some baggage. Some baggage to that state, for sure. Every state has baggage, dude. No, it doesn't. What? Empire State of Mind?

Empire State of Mind, yeah. So, I was excited about the spirit of this draft because we're using a finite pool. As I said earlier, it's nice to do a draft. That's not pulling from everything from all times. And so I was thinking about like, I'm into drafting. I just went through the,

obviously the NBA draft. It's a big deal to me. One of the biggest deals of the year. And so I was thinking about about how you approach a draft, how you look at power rankings. The preeminent power rankings are NBA.com. That's kind of how you determine how people are going to go in the draft. And so I thought, who's the preeminent power ranker of states?

So I went with U.S. News & World Reports, 2023 listing. According to U.S. News & World Reports, the number one overall state. Yes, I'm vamping. The number one overall state in America is Utah. It comes in at 84,898 square miles. It has a GDP of 248 billion. 46.3% of Utahns are college educated. It has a population, statewide population of 3,380,800.

The capital is Salt Lake City. The median income is $37,325. It is listed as number 15 in crime and corrections. It's number one in economy somehow. Number five in education. Number one in fiscal stability, which is important. Number seven in healthcare, which out of 50 ain't too bad. Number four in infrastructure.

Not great in natural environment. You would think it'd be better. It's 46 there. But number 20 in opportunity, and we all love opportunity. What is... What the... That's a lot of data. Utah.

Well, I like to be scientific, you know? As you said, I don't want to go with deep cuts when I'm building my basketball team. I want to go with the best available players. And so Utah is number one on the power rankings. Gavin, do you have any thoughts on the picks so far?

Pretty solid. Good picks. Did you see Utah going first round? Is that the Mormon place? Yes, it is. Okay. It should really tell you something if that's how you identify it. Yeah, it's like

salt flats and Mormons, isn't it? That's about it. Number seven in healthcare. Number four in infrastructure. Number four in infrastructure. Number one in fiscal stability. Don't underestimate the importance of fiscal stability. Okay.

Is the salt, can you use the salt? Is it like salt? It is salt. What? Like you can just grab a handful of it and put it on your chips? What are you doing? Okay, never mind. Never mind. Cultural thing. I was thinking potato chips. When you said chips, mean fries that's on me that's on me it took me a while to translate yeah

just imagining sitting down with a bag of chips throwing more salt in salt on them because in my in my experience there's two salts right there's there's salt like table salt and there's himalayan uh for some reason pink salt but you don't ever hear about you know Utah isn't it the same isn't just fancier it's just fancier salt right I don't know how that works I think it's just fancy salt maybe we should do a salt draft

I agree I've got some black I've got some black like Hawaiian salt that's pretty good it comes from up near the volcanoes. I bought it when I was there. Great. It'd be,

it'd be, it'd be my first round pick in the salt draft. Uh, Montana. Okay. Okay. Now that's your first round pick. There are some things I like about it.

Um, it's one of the few states i've never been to uh so i don't know a lot about it uh it i read that it has seven people per square mile which is nice pretty peaceful pretty quiet um i've heard it the sky is bigger there than other states and i've also and i've also noticed that on the map, the shape of it is like if the bottom left corner of your fish tank exploded. Those are my reasons for enjoying the state of Montana. Have you never thought about how it looks like a person's face? It's a person's face?

No, I mean like if you look at Montana. Right. You said like, oh, it looks like your fish tank exploded. You don't think that looks like a person's face? Oh, yeah, I see it. Oh, like he's got a little schlongy little nose? Yeah. Kind of looks like you.

Oh, I wonder what... Yeah, get him. Yeah, it looks like Montana's looking at Idaho. Yes. That looks like a nose that can't get in a fish tank is what that nose looks like. You know, I'd be interested in looking at property in the tip of the nose of Montana. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It looks like it's judging the state, like,

diagonal to it, bottom left. Like, it's looking at it. It's checking it out. It's making sure nothing bad's going on down there. You've never been to Montana? No, I've been to 29 states, apparently, but never Montana. You're missing out.

Good shit? Yeah. Good one. Well, it's a snake draft, so you get the first pick in our second round. Okay. Next state. Liquid. See.

Of the different states of matter, I'd say liquid is the most interesting. Typically, if you look out of a window, you're going to be looking at gas and solid. But unless you're at the beach, or unless you're somewhere of interest, you're not seeing water. Water is the most interesting state of matter, in my opinion. As a water guy, I think this is a great pick.

Honestly, I may have taken it in the first round and went Montana in the second. But it's a great pick. Jeff, you have any thoughts on liquid? I'm a big fan of it. I drink liquid all day, every day. So I can't. I can't.

I mean, if I was choosing actually between liquid or Montana, I would go for liquid. Right. Montana. Yeah. Yeah. You chose Montana. The dumbass. Well, Montana has liquid in it.

That's true. Fair enough. Does liquid have Montana in it? Yeah, that's a great question. I don't think so. All right, who's next? Oh, it's me? Yeah.

Okay, according to U.S. News and World Report, the number three best overall state, I couldn't pick number two, That was Washington. Nick took that pick. It comes in at number nine. Let's see if you can guess what it is. It comes in at number nine in crimes and corrections. Number two in economy. Number two in fiscal stability. Number ten in infrastructure.

Number nineteen in opportunity. We discussed opportunity. It's something that everybody wants and I'll say it. Everybody deserves. Number fourteen in healthcare. Interestingly enough, at New Year's Eve every year, I thought I'd throw some more interesting data in there. They do a giant potato drop to ring in the New Year. Kind of like in New York Times, they have the ball drop.

Well, here they do the giant potato drop. And everybody crowds around because the potato is the national or is the state vegetable. State fruits, the huckleberry. Obviously, I'm talking about the number three overall best state in America, according to U.S. News and World Report, number 23 in national environment.

I am talking about Idaho. Oh, that was on my list. Wow. See what happens when we have a draft with a pool that's not infinite i'm gonna have to come with someone else let's see it's bordered by washington oregon nevada utah montana and wyoming those are all places you could visit easily from your state of idaho see gavin and that's the point of the draft and why we do it this way where it is going to block other people's picks and then

you have to think on your feet didn't we we have a block pick? I already had that with Rock Candy. It's true. Oh, that's right. I forgot about Rock Candy. That's okay. Nick can just cut that part out of this and nobody knows. Yeah, I wouldn't want to make me look

foolish. There you go. Jeff, have you been to Idaho? I've been to almost all the states. So yes. Okay, so that's almost an answer to my jeff you've been to idaho uh i've been to almost all the states so yes okay so that's almost an answer to my question i've been to boise idaho uh i've been to twin falls idaho i drove through it uh been down to what is it where the snake river is where they crossed in uh in uh oregon trail i went down that yeah i've been i've been i know idaho i know idaho and that's another thing about idaho potatoes are in almost everything everybody loves potatoes except for my fiancee potatoes are like

the fucking glue that keeps america together and idaho is where the potatoes are it's very important potatoes she doesn't like potatoes no she thinks mashed potatoes are the grossest thing ever in any format they're. She likes certain French fries, but that's it, man. She won't put hash browns, baked potato, none of that shit. She doesn't want it.

She does not like the texture of a potato. What was the style of potato that Chad used to make and bring over? Oh, gratin potatoes. She doesn't like those. Yeah.

Oh, that's so good. Yeah, no kidding. She's good, yeah. Wow. So what are you going to do? So if you get that state... I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to move to Idaho with her. There you go. See, that's so good. Yeah, no kidding. He's good, yeah. Wow. So what are you going to do? So if you get that state. I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to move to Idaho with her.

There you go. See, that's, I guess, what I was thinking. Okay, I have the next pick in the second round. I'm going to take this one based purely on the people. Great, real blue collar, nose to the grindstone people, classic weirdos with great accents. My second pick is Pennsylvania. It is the way that they say water ice and the way that, like,

that accent is so funny. A yin's going to the Eagles game. Like, the way they talk, fantastic. Thank you so much for being an insane place that if you're from, you don't leave. So it just gets this inbreeding of, like, accent that never, ever, ever, ever goes away. And that truly is a great state.

Gritty is there. The Philly fanatic is there. They're probably related somehow. Pennsylvania, we salute you, and you are my second round pick. Thanks for cheesesteaks. Hey, there you go. See, a little bit of something for everyone. Nick, thoughts?

I love that state. Good pick. See? I thought I'd take it out from under Nick. You really did. Home of the Philadelphia Phillies, and now I love that state. Good pick. I thought I'd take it out from under Nick. You really did. Home of the Philadelphia Phillies, and now I'm really hurting. And when I take over Pennsylvania,

they're dissolved as a team. That's rough. Mike Schmidt's rolling over in his grave. He's probably still alive. I'm going to take this draft out from under you, Eric. Okay, Nick, you're the next pick. All right. Triple X probably still alive. I'm going to take this draft out from under you, Eric. Okay, Nick, you're the next pick. Alright. Triple X stated the Union.

Oh, that was on my list. Is next. That's for you. I was going to go with States all the way through and then you stole Pennsylvania. This sucks. Ice Cube replaces Xander Cage in this one and uh they allegedly kill him off until he

comes back in the sequel but yeah a little 2005 movie that some people saw i guess oh i yeah absolutely we talked triple x state of the union it is classic vin diesel where they killed him off or in a vin diesel universe killed off a character brought back later I'd maybe argue the best thing about triple X State of the Union is ice cubes appearance in the third Triple X movie as like a hero of sorts he shows up in the last act for no reason for the grenade launcher It's great. He saves the day has Nick sniped that from your list Andrew. It was on my list I didn't know who would get contentious cuz it's not it's a state of the Union I don't know if that would count under the thing so I removed it but yeah it was a consideration for sure statement it's

fine yeah that's fair clearly we like that bit of the draft all right next oh it's my pick okay yeah well Yeah. Well, we're talking U.S. states. We've talked basketball. I'm taking the big state. Taking the big state, which is some people may think of Alaska. Fuck that. I don't want that. I don't want that baggage.

I don't want to deal with that. I don't give a fuck about Alaska. What I'm talking about is big state in the film. He got game. I'm talking, I'm talking Jesus Shuttlesworth. I'm talking public enemy, the state of big. That is the school that Denzel Washington, the beginning of the movie,

he gets told that his son, he needs to try to get him to big state, which is the governor. The governor runs the, I will think he governs. And he's like, I want your son on the team that I went to school runs the, I will, he governs. And he's like, I want your son on the team that I went to school for,

Big State. He organizes a prison escape. Well, not an escape, but essentially an escape just to try to get this kid on his basketball team. I respect that. I respect the mindset,

the hustler mentality of Big State. My second pick is Big State. Do you know who Jesus Shuttleworth, who played Jesus Shuttleworth? Shuttlesworth, rather? I'm blanking his name, but yeah, it's NBA guy. Ray fucking Allen.

NBA great. Oh, really? Second greatest three-point shooter of all time and greatest until Steph Curry came along. Dethroned Reggie Miller. Yeah, it was none other than like 19-year-old Ray Allen himself

right as he was going into the NBA. Oh, wow. So there we go. That's a literal state. I picked a U.S. state. It is fictitious, but it is the U.S. state. Love it. Now do I have a swing?

Does it go back to me? It does. Okay, well, I am... If I am anything, I am a big company guy. Love the company. Right, and that's what we've always said. We talk about Andrew, am a big company guy. Love the company. Right, and that's what we've always said. We talk about Andrew, we go big company guy. When you think not the Rooster Teeth store,

you think that is a company man right there. Yeah, that's, yeah. And there is a slogan. Company has a slogan, which is just playing, as we're doing here at this current time. We're just playing. So I am taking, with my third pick, first round, or first pick of the third round,

I'm taking State of Play. What a place to be in. It's what we do. It's about video games. I like to play. We're playing right now. I like to watch people play. I'm all about playing.

We're playing right now. Like, you keep saying it. Well, that's what we do here. It's what we do here. It's just... It's what we do here. State of play. My third pick. God, that's...

All right. Wait, what is that? When PlayStation does their press conferences... The PlayStation, dude. When they show the new games, they call it a state of play. So I'm all about the state of play. That's motherfucking...

The most you're giving... Gavin just keeps going, okay. Nick? Oh, fuck. I'll help you here, Eric. I'm going to get us back on track. I'm going to go with the state of Alaska.

Thank you for your word for a second. But the state of Alaska, it's where I went on my honeymoon. So it holds a special place in my heart. And it's beautiful out there, you know? Too much sun a lot of the year. Not enough sun most of the rest of the year. But in between, real pretty. You get that three weeks there where it's fucking great.

Yeah. You travel there then, and then you leave the rest of the time. Yeah, who wants to be on a vacation longer than three weeks anyway? Exactly. Did you see some northern lights? Oh, no. I missed out on that. But I did get to see some cool glaciers that were probably melting.

Oh. That's interesting. What? That were probably melting. Well, you know. Great. I think it's a safe assumption. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. What? That we're probably melting. Well, you know. Great. I think it's a safe assumption.

Yeah. Yeah. Todd. Yeah, dumbass. Ice melts in the heat anyway. Your pick, Eric. It's hot. It's hot. The day is 23 hours long.

It melts. It does. I feel like the number one thing I hear about ice is that it's hot the day is 23 hours long it melts it does I feel like the number one thing I hear about ice is that it's melting I hear about it a lot and you know liquid was already taken as a state so it's something to think about I will pick

a true paradise the last state to be ratified in the United States it is Hawaii just barely inching out True paradise. The last state to be ratified in the United States. It is Hawaii. Just barely inching out Alaska. Alaska was ratified in June of 59 and Hawaii in August of 59. So within a one year span, those are our two final states.

Hawaii, we'll say the opposite of Alaska in terms of the amount of sun and not sun, I guess. It's very important to people. No ice. It is a great state. It's mostly a state, so that way we had a stopover all the way to Japan. Case of, you know, any kind of foul play or fighting. However, it is a state in the union, so I will be choosing Hawaii, a state where I proposed to my small wife.

And there you go. That is my third pick. Very nice. As we go into Jeff. Making it personal. Yeah. That's a nice touch. This pick is not as personal as Eric's pick, but I have some personal feelings about it.

Did you guys know, were you guys aware that Americans consume 68 billion cups of popcorn every year? That's enough popcorn to fill the Empire State Building 18 times. And this state produces more than 25% of the entire country's popcorn supply. Clearly, I'm talking about the number 26 state in crime and corrections, number seven in education, number 11 and 12 in national environment. Number 10 in economy. It's obviously number five in infrastructure. You know they gotta have an infrastructure to handle all that corn.

Number 11 in fiscal stability. I am talking about the great agricultural state of Nebraska. Population of 1.9 6-7 million people. GDP of 1.162 billion. That's a lot of popcorn. Capital of Lincoln.

That's on my list as well. Oh, wow. Was it really? I'm just going down there. It's on the U.S. News and World Report power rankings, number four. What's the population of Austin, Texas? Is it half the population of Nebraska?

The population of Austin, Texas is a little over a million, yeah. So it's about half the population of Nebraska? The population of Austin, Texas is a little over a million. Yeah. So it's about half the population of the state of Nebraska. Well, the metro, I mean, the city itself is like right at a million. The metro is 2.4 million. So the metro area, which includes like Georgetown, Cedar Park, that area is about two and a half million. So you're saying Nebraska makes enough popcorn to fill like four and a half Empire State buildings?

Excuse me? Yeah, are you saying that? I don't know. I'm just saying what I read. Is it all what you say? I said that Nebraska makes enough popcorn to, they make 68 billion cups of popcorn every year, and that's enough to fill the Empire State building 18 times. And that they

produce more than 25% of our country's popcorn supply. What's your issue with that, Gavin? well no i thought i thought the total popcorn was 18 empire states and they did 25 so i was like oh maybe nebraska alone is like four and posted what i see what you're saying i see what you're saying yeah hey why is jeff you pick this state and i'm just curious like lincoln is the is the right? According to my research, yes. Great. But Omaha is like the city that I, when I think of Nebraska, I think of Omaha. Yeah, but mostly because of mutual of Omaha.

That must be the reason. Why is Omaha trying to escape the state of Nebraska and move into the state of Iowa? I'm glad you asked. So Omaha, it had been the territorial capital for a long time, but the Cedar government eventually got moved to Lancaster, which was renamed Lincoln following the assassination of Lincoln in 1865. I don't know if that exactly answers your words, but they're probably some kind of like how Philadelphia used to be the seat of power in America,

but then they refer to the elites who left to go live in the swamp in in Washington, D.C. As they say, they're they're still bitter about it. I imagine the Omaha, the Omaha Hans are bitter about having the seat of government ripped out from them. And did you think about any of that, Andrew? All of it. It's a consideration I typically have.

Well, there you go. That's a consideration I typically have. Well, there you go. No, that's a great third pick. Thank you, Gavin. You're going to get our last third pick and our final fourth pick in our state draft.

Okay. All right. Here we go. Oh, great state song. That's a fugue state. Oh, yeah. Um, a disassociative episode oh i didn't say that right uh i've i learned about it from breaking bad where you could see into brian cranston's asshole almost from across the shop i thought you're taking New Mexico. I thought he was drafting New Mexico.

Me too. 100%. Absolutely agree with you. Thought he was picking New Mexico. I was about to write it and then he said, fugue. So... Fugues? Reversible amnesia for one's identity.

Including memories, personality and other identified characteristics. Characteristics of individuality. How much popcorn can you fit into a fused state? You can fit at least one cup of popcorn into that picture. Are you on the verge of experiencing a fused state right now?

I think so. I had too much coffee today. You need to do our final pick. You can't go into a fugue state until we're done with this draft. Okay, well, I'll be honest. My only stupid pick originally was Liquid, and then I had Idaho and Nebraska. So we're really reaching.

We're stretching. My final pick is nuclear criticality. The state of a nuclear power station where everything is going right. And I think that's one of the best states that can possibly exist inside nuclear power. At least don't mind I've stated the name. I just want that stated.

They're states. Okay. I'm not giving you an inch, Andrew. I don't know. If you're doing state of play or whatever, then Gavin could do nuclear criticality. Yeah, no shit. Couldn't just pick Iowa.

Big state. I didn't research those. You did do research on nuclear criticality. A little bit. I did a little bit of panic research on that. You've been to, what, like 22, 23 states? You can't... 29.

But the thing is, Andrew, I'm looking at your column, and it's really spurring me on in possibly the wrong direction. Don't you start blaming me. Oh, Lord. Well, Jeff, what is your final pick?

Okay, my final state, moving down the U.S. News and World Report power rankings. This state is, well, actually, this state is interesting because it spawned a lot of people, a lot of famous people, a lot of talented people you may have heard of. I'm talking about Gilbert Godfrey, David

Wayne, Ken Marino, Michael Showalter, Joe Latrullio, Kerry Kinney, Michael Ian Black. All of these people were cast in the 1993 television show on MTV, The State, which is one of the best sketch

comedy shows of all time. And if you've never seen it, I really recommend it. It's got the famous catchphrase, I dip my balls in it. Yeah. I will say, Jeff, did you have The State as one of your original picks or were you spurred on by Gavin and Andrew? I always had The State as number four. Okay.

by Gavin and Andrew. I always had the state as number four. Okay. I was going to take the best three state states available via U.S. News and World Report and then I was going to mix it up. The state is just most people that went on to do Reno 911 and Stella. Any David Wayne movie.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wet Hot American Summer. All the same people. Yep. So very cool. The state American Summer, all the same people. Yep. So, very cool. The State, good one. That's very cool.

Why are you cool with that one, but not Andrews? Oh, I'm not cool with this. He's not. Oh. No, I, again. You just said cool a lot. Yeah, it's just, no, it's cool. I mean, The State is cool.

As a pick in our State draft, it's not cool. But as a thing in itself, I do like it. Eric, I think you've learned a valuable lesson in being specific of a text. Yeah. That's right. I'm a fucking idiot. I will say, if I hadn't picked the state, it was going to be Minnesota. So Minnesota's up for grabs if anybody wants it.

That's great. I will say my last pick, pick i think is going to be one that was never on anyone's list i don't think that i don't think anyone was going to pick it i think it's a cool state new hampshire small state new england state it's up there at the top they got black bears uh their motto is live free or die i think it's great but if i were to take over this state like in my thinking of like oh you know if i'm picking my states i'm gonna make a union out of my states new hampshire is my pick um the first state right uh is it the first state nick would know it's the first state in the in the um presidential primaries right right? The Democratic primaries. I think it might be. I think you're right.

My reasoning for it is the live free or die thing is very cool. And also, if I were to take over that state, I would rename it to New Hamster. And that would just be the end of it. So that's my thinking for New Hampshire and why it's my fourth pick in this state draft. I stuck with states. You know what, Eric? I saw a New Hampshire license plate yesterday. Small world.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah. There you go. Nick, what's your fourth pick? What's your bullshit fourth pick? No, no, it's a state in the union. And I only went off track because Eric stole Pennsylvania. That's his own fault.

That's retaliatory. Yeah, it really was. Exactly. Payback. This state is home to four national parks and, allegedly, the largest airport in size in the U.S. It is Colorado. Colorado.

Oh, Colorado was on my list. I almost took it. I love that state. Oh, that's a good one. Face Jam actually took a road trip up there, which was a lot of fun too. And what a great way to see that in a car with three car coworkers and another van full of people shooting everything you do. But it's a coworkers,

a couple of friends and coworkers. Michael's made it very clear that we are coworkers. People that I have a professional working relationship with. People who hold microphones near me. What do you think of the shape? Great shape. Great shape, yeah. Great shape for Colorado.

Beautiful. A couple of facts. They have the highest paved road in the U.S., the longest continuous street in the U.S., World War II troops trained for mountain combat there. And allegedly the cheeseburger was invented in Denver. That's true. I've read that. That's in my list of state facts.

The cheeseburger was invented there. Really? So thank you to Colorado. That's good. The only reason it was lower on my list and I didn't pick it is because I was just there and it takes like 45 minutes to get from a city to the airport and that

knocks it way down. Oh my god. Do you guys want to hear a fucking a small world thing about Denver or about Colorado? While there's much contention around where the cheeseburger was really invented, it was in Colorado that the term

was coined. Trademarked by Louis Ballast of Denver's Humpty Dumpty Drive-In in Denver in 1935. It was coined at the Humpty Dumpty Drive-In. Wow.

God damn, dude. Boys of Dumpty drive-in. Wow. God damn, dude. The boy's a Dumpty ride again. Incredible. Incredible. Oh, man. Well, there you have it. And now, Andrew. Oh, shit.

He's just going to do like on the Zorio or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Andrew's scrambling because Gavin picked nuclear criticality. Yeah.

He was going to pick Colorado, and now he's like, oh, fuck, what am I going to do? Well, I've been to four states, and two of them I didn't want to take. So I did plan on taking one of the ones I went at this spot, but that's gone. Mine are taken, so I have no real states I could pick. I did consider, because I could pick I did consider because I love it so much just drafting state of play the film as

opposed to it's a different thing than the live stream but I'm not going to do that I'm going to stick once again real state in a fictitious place blue mountain state will be my

final pick of draft oh once again it's it's a state in the world that it's in. It's Alan Richardson. Yeah, you know him. I've never seen the show. I don't have a lot to say about it. Wait, what? And yet it's your fourth and final pick.

Well, the states I've visited have already been taken, so I can't take those. Every state? Well, Hawaii. I was open to Hawaii or Washington. Oh, you mean Eric's third pick? Yeah. Hawaii or Washington would be my two that I considered. Yeah, I don't think I could take two states of play.

I have stated a K, but that just felt, I don't know. I liked the first game. I didn't really like the second one that much. Right. I'm going to go with Blue Mavericks. go state of emergency you didn't feel like you thought about that yeah i never played it that was like the game on the shelf that i wasn't allowed to rent when i was a kid but always yeah it was at 18 and i wasn't allowed to rent that either yeah exactly so i'm a blue mountain state yeah i don't have texas fans in the in the room no i was never gonna take texas no i couldn't take texas that was one of my four. No, I was never going to take Texas. No, I couldn't take Texas.

That was one of my four. My other one I was never going to take is California, personally. I just have no need for it. It's a pretty similar weather. You don't need California? I don't need it. It's right next to me. Blue Mountain State is based on Virginia Tech,

so that would be the state. Oh. Well, it's based on. It isn't. It's based on. It's not the same as this. Right. Thanks. But isn't based on the same it says right thanks but isn't washington closer to you yeah but that was taken but you said you didn't want to take california because it's close to you but the one you were going to take is even closer yeah but washington

has a different feel california yeah yeah gavin come on sorry Oh, sorry. I apologize. Yeah. Thank you for apologizing. Because it's the proximity. Apology barely accepted. You know how Eric complained about the airport, the distance to the airport, Colorado? That's my feelings about California. It's a little too far for the same. The overlap in Washington, it's close enough for me to be okay with it.

I could take a 60-minute boat ride to get there. I feel like California shouldn't be on there because LAX is the worst airport in the world. No, it's not. It's definitely not. It's not even close, but Atlanta's got the worst airport in the world or fucking Newark. Chicago O'Hare?

Chicago O'Hare. Oh, that's a dog shit airport too. I think, well, Chicago I always get delayed, but as an airport, it's more welcoming than the blast in the face of noise and filth that occurs at LAX, especially when coming international. Oh, no, no, no. OK. I would much rather go to LAX than Atlanta.

Yeah. Atlanta's interesting. I'd rather go to LAX than O'Hare. Has anyone ever flown out of O'Hare on time in history? Not ever. No, never.

It's not possible. You can lose your kid in that airport. I would rather fly like I'd rather fly Heathrow to Austin via L.A. than Chicago O'Hare.

And I have done that before, but not by choice. Wow. Um, well, that's our draft. Let me just, uh,

go through these picks. Andrew empire state of mind. Shout out to five 60 state street. Great. Big state, state of mind. Shout out to 560 State Street. Great. Big State. State of play. And Blue Mountain State. Never seen it.

Nick has picked Washington. Triple X State of the Union. Alaska and Colorado. Eric who played in the spirit of the draft, California, Pennsylvania, Hawaii, and New Hamster. Fourth was Jeff, who almost did it. Utah, Idaho, Nebraska, and the state.

So, sorry, just for a second. You were reading off of a list, Jeff, of what the number one were? Yeah, it was like the best states in America as ranked by U.S. News and World Report. It's a list that they put out every year. They weren't even your picks. No, that's what I was saying. I was going off the power rankings. Yeah, I feel like it's like when I would do a fantasy draft with a magazine,

and I'm just getting the next off the board round after round. Just getting the best available. I'm trying to build the most powerful state team. Yep. And then finally, Gavin, who picked Montana. Liquid. Great pick. Fugue and nuclear criticality.

I think I've done well. I think I've done all right. You did really well. I was thinking with Nick talking about Alaska and the ice melting, what happens when the ice melts? What does it do? Comes liquid. What does that liquid become? A Terminator. Terminator

2. An upgrade over the first film. A great film. A terrifying villain. I think that's a great pick. You think the liquid from the melting ice caps turns into Terminator from Terminator 2? Holy shit. What if the whole point of the polar ice caps is that it's all the Terminators ever frozen

and global warming is really unleashing the robot army on us? Skynet was here all along. You know, I guess what if? Every Al Gore ad just has the Dun dun dun dun dun Dun dun dun dun dun So Andrew's saying I basically drafted the T1000

Which I think is only bonus points Yeah for sure Good pick So if anyone won this it's me Yeah Eric wins by default I'm sad to say But he definitely does We'll see We'll see We'll see.

We'll see. We'll see. I really want to go to Montana. Let's go. So you can get it off your list? I'd love to get it off my list. Have you been to Minnesota yet? Let me check.

What are you checking? He's checking his little app. On his phone. to oh it doesn't i don't know you tell me hold on let me how often do you use this app it's looking at every time i go to a new state is this the app so how often fraser told you to use a long time ago possibly yeah so i think so so you use this app when you go to a new state so how often do you use this app uh i just went to kentucky a few months ago put that off my uh so oh what's new hold on posting you should know all right uh he's checking out the updates uh you tell me oh wow you have uh you've really caught like you're like going around in like spiral style taking over the u.s basically that is 10 years worth of business trips

and nothing has ever taken me to that big hunk in the middle like what is there what is out there not a lot of business you fly over that that's where all the potatoes and corn are, man. All of those that aren't highlighted, those are what we call the flyover states. Gavin, you've never been to Minnesota, just so you can understand it. You know how Louisiana is the boot, right? At the bottom, it looks like a boot.

Face right, or an L. If you follow the leg all the way up to the top, the very top where the thigh is, and it looks like it's going to touch a crotch, that's Minnesota. Well, there you have it. The state draft. I had a great time.

Great. I'm amazed. I'm amazed this wasn't a blindside, and I'm so happy it wasn't. I was having a drink at a wedding, and I went, wouldn't this be fun and here we are uh you're right was it fun with big state and triple x state of the union and fugue all on the draft fantastic um when you when you were having that conversation at the wedding did you not think brian cranston's ass was gonna come up like not even a possibility

no it's definitely didn't cross my mind while I was at the wedding. Okay. No, I don't think I've ever had that thought. It's never been. no, also have not. No,

ever, ever, but we did it. We've done another successful draft for face. Thank you so much for listening. Um, you can comment on this and let us know what your States are. I have a question though.

What would this have looked like if we just had a list of half the states? I think that it would have been arguments about people who picked the same states and someone's going to have to take Wyoming. Yeah, look at how salty people got about states that got picked already. Yeah. So, yeah, Nick didn't like that I picked Pennsylvania, so he picked XXX State of the Union. And I'm not talking fancy pink Himalayan salt either.

I'm talking fucking Morton's gross-ass table salt. I just think that there are 50 states in the U.S. and probably about 13 good ones. If that. Maybe 13. And none of the ones I picked, by the way. No, because if you, like, Utah is a first pick. Crazy.

I'm just happy that no one picked Arizona, which I feel is the worst state in the union. And, like, that's what I anticipate. You think Arizona's worse than Louisiana? Yes. Oh, man. I think Arizona is a shame. I think it should get split.

You think it's too hot? No, dude. I think Arizona is a shame. I think it should get split. I think it's too hot. No, dude. I think the four states around it should each take a piece and expand a little bit. First off, Tucson is cool, and Flagstaff is cool. No. The rest of the state's not. Flagstaff's cool as fuck, dude. Flagstaff is the spot.

Don't sleep on Flagstaff. Sleep all you want on Flagstaff. Don't do it. It's a cool-ass town. I'm just wondering, if I just keep living here and don't go home, what will be the last state I naturally visit? Because I think eventually I'll get taken to some more. I think Alaska.

See, I could see myself filming something there. I feel like I would never touch Wyoming. I don't think there would ever be a reason to go there you would touch wyoming because it's a big it's a big place for influencers to go out and buy ranches and stuff and like kanye lives out there and jeffrey star lives out there and a lot of a lot of those hollywood types so there could be like a big or some sort of an event or something out yeah you can go out there with jeffrey star and do i give off big kanye vibes no not at all i'm just saying you i'm like oh you're filming i'm just saying there's a it's where it's become like a playground for a lot of like celebrity type a lot of people

that make content and you tend to uh the circles that we work in tend to go where content is from time to time and i can see there being a better chance of you going there than like north dakota oh i think it's see i think maine i don't think you're going to maine i think i think if you go to one of those places you go to all of them at once right you just do like a little road trip yeah well i feel like apples could potentially take us to maine i just think maine is way up there and you've already hit pretty much everything else around there just doesn't feel like there's going to be a thing where you're like gotta go to maine has anybody in this uh video or this audio been to maine no no wow andrew you've obviously no i wonder how many states in america there are that none of us have

been to it might only be maine i mean everyone fill this app out, and then we'll be able to cross-reference. Yeah, we should, because it would be interesting to find out if there's like one or two or three states that none of us have been to, we could go for the first time together. And you've probably got the most, Jeff, haven't you? Yeah, I've been to like 46 states, I think, 45. Jesus! Wow.

So, oh, hang on! Then why are we all filling this out? I'll fill it out. You fill it out, and then we'll go, okay, we haven't been to these four. Alright, I'll fill it out. You fill it out, and then we'll go, okay, we haven't been to these four. All right, I'll fill it out. Well, let me ask you this, Jeff. What from my list have you not been to? I've never been to North Dakota.

I've never been to Maine. I mean, that's about my list. I've never been to Vermont. I've never been to Rhode Island. I've never been to New I've never been to Rhode Island I've never been to New Hampshire that's about it I think those places in North Dakota are the only places I've never been yeah well there you have it the state draft

only the way that face could do it thank you so much for listening well you fucking asshole I told you no I appreciate it if you like this listen to the other ones You fucking asshole, I told you. Uh-huh. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I appreciate it. If you like this, listen to the other ones. They're pretty much like this, but weirder, I would think. Thanks for listening.

Go give us a follow at F*** Face Pod on Instagram, on Twitter. Go follow us on YouTube. You can watch this or listen to it, whatever you like, and you can check out all of our cool, cool content. Thank you so much for listening. Andrew,

any parting words for everyone out there? Shout out to 500 State Street once again. Can I ask a question? Are you saying, Eric, that the other drafts

are weirder than the state of play and nuclear criticality? Yeah, I don't think they are. I mean, that's so fucking up there. I think Rock Not Rock is a

tough one to top. Clear pool. Like, on its face, it's telling you what it is, and I think we really take it in, like, a lot of different directions. So I think Rock Not Rock is

definitely at the top. What do you think, audience? State of play. We're just playing. Okay, that's it.