F**kface - F**kface Watch Along: The Tuxedo

Episode Date: January 22, 2022

Join Geoff, Gavin, Andrew, Eric, and Nick for this F**kface watch along of the 2002 hit Jackie Chan movie The Tuxedo. A hapless chauffeur must take a comatose Secret Agent's place using his special gadget-laden tuxedo. To watch along, cue up The Tuxedo (available on DVD and HBO Max) and wait for the countdown. When you hear the cue, hit play. Now you're watching The Tuxedo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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So now, Jeff can introduce this and then we can do the whole thing. I don't know why you're giving away trivia and quotes from the thing we're about to watch. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't make any sense. No, it's just really, okay. I understand what you're doing, but we're trying to watch the movie. Now, now, now, Jeff, take it away. I watched this on VHS. Oh, my God. All right, I'll say right now, I would take it away,

but Eric just did a phenomenal job. You heard what he said. He basically encapsulated what's happening. We're watching the tuxedo. This was Andrew's idea or Gavin's. Somebody's was definitely not my idea. And everybody's mad. Everybody's yelling and frustrating.

And we can't get shit to work. Andrew is lost in the weeds. And Gavin is, I think he's only here by, there's about 30% of Gavin here. But I'm ready to go. Hit play. You love to start stuff by just putting a weird mood on it. Just start stuff.

We're all ready. Eric put the weird mood on it when he was yelling. No, no, that was not me. That was Andrew talking about Penguin Trivia. Listen, here's guys. You can go on HBO Max. You can go on HBO Max and you can watch the tuxedo not this is not an ad for hbo max this is just simply where i found it you can watch this along with us we're

gonna count down three two one go on go we're gonna hit play and then you guys can watch along with us jeff do you want to count us down three two one hit play. There we go. Oh. It's begun. Oh, DreamWorks. So, fun fact about this. Jackie Chan only made this movie because Steven Spielberg owns DreamWorks, right? And he hated the script, but he's like, I want to work with Spielberg. So this might be an in for that.

Jackie Chan hated all of his American movies, which made me sad. He hated Rush Hour. Why did he hate Rush Hour? He didn't understand all of his American movies. He's like, I don hated Rush Hour. Why did he hate Rush Hour? He just, he didn't understand all of his American movies. He's like, I don't think these are funny. I don't get this humor.

So like he made the first, he's like, I made the first one just to test things out. I made the second because they paid me an ungodly amount of money and I made the third

for the fans because I don't get people. Should I be able to hear anything? It's quiet. I'll turn it up. It's quiet. You can hear me? I can hear.

There you go. Oh. Should be listenable now. It's quiet. You can hear me? There you go. Oh. Should be listenable now. It's a pretty waterfall. Yeah, and there's a little bit of water running noise. Oh! Jackie Chan, the fucking titles are falling through the water. Oh, that's a beautiful- deer. That deer's got a white ass. What? Piss joke. We're opening with a piss joke.

Oh. A deer is not very hydrated. Is that the earliest piss in a Jackie Chan movie? I think it has to be. It's definitely the earliest deer. I don't know if we can confirm that. I feel really confident about the piss. I don't know about the deer. So this was written by two guys.

One of them has only written Ice Age. Essentially, he wrote Ice Age Shark Tale in this movie. And the other guy wrote on Happy Days. He's like 62 when he wrote this. So it's like a great thing. It was like a mentor mentee type thing. I don't I feel like one of them probably just did, like, punch-up joke writing, and I don't know who I'd want to do that role more.

Like, either the 62-year-old guy or the person that wrote Shark Tale. Oh, man. What a... Do you guys ever think about, like, what celebrities are really into piss? No. No, literally never. It's never crossed my mind. I do, too.

I think about it all the time. What do you mean? Like they have a general interest in it? Or like as a kink? No, just like weirdos that are in like... Like if you found out that David Spade loved to be pissed on or whatever. And I'm not saying he does. I don't know anything about David Spade.

I would say that Howard Hughes is the most famous piss guy that is like out there. Yeah, also Chuck Berry, right? Was Chuck Berry into piss? I hope I'm not getting that wrong. I don't want to be sued by the estate, but I do feel like allegedly that's something that I read. Is that libelous to say that someone's a piss guy? A big piss guy? I mean, not to me,

but people are weird. People have got all kinds of hangups. All of these bottles are in the sea now. Hey, Andrew, I got a question for you. You've pulled out that awesome fact about the writers. Have you ever seen Happy Days? If I have, it's like maybe one episode randomly.

But no, I've never thought of I'm going to sit down and watch Happy Days. That might be an option for a future one of these. Just a Happy Days episode? Yeah, just watch a Happy Days. That might be an option for a future one of these. Just a Happy Days episode? Yeah, just watch a Happy Days episode. Why does it gotta be a two-hour movie? Why can't we watch a 30-minute TV show? What?

He's drowning in a bag. He was already gonna suffocate. It goes twice as fast. No, this this was there's actually an achievement for this. This is a hitman thing. This would be dumb

in a hitman game. He didn't want to wait the extra 25 seconds for him to just suffocate. Oh my god this guy died. Why is he drenched in water?

Like I feel like the move was to like try to cover up i would be thinking more advanced i'd be like well he got hit on the head with an ice cube the ice cube melted oh it's jackie do you think that art in the window is in somebody's house and they're like why the fuck did i buy this can can anyone hear any of the actual audio i'm just the guy from 40 year old virgin noar-Old Virgin. No, I can't hear anything. Yeah, can't hear anything. That's okay, we don't need to. No, it's fine.

I can read it. Yeah, it's fine. We can read. Or some of us can read. Yeah, go tell her that. I heard that. I heard that. Jack?

Oh, it's like doing noise cancelling or something. It's like pretty pronounced soul patch there. He, this was the follow-up to Rush Hour 2. What year is this made? 2002. How old is Jackie Chan at this point?

Is he Vin Diesel old? I don't know. What do you mean by Vin Diesel? It's just the... He's how I base all ages. I don't know what that means. That's okay. That was the thing we did, right?

That was the bit we did before. Yeah, it was a bit we did a long time ago. It's okay. Just tell me how old he is. Do that bit. Okay. How old is Jackie Chan? 67.

He's 67 right now? Yes. was 2002 this is 2002 so that means he was 48 or something is that right gavin you're math uh uh yeah that was a very convincing oh look if we were if we were in a millionaire scenario and i called you to like confirm i'd be like it's a right i would feel less confident like your recommendation if i was just like uh sure yeah i'm just i'm just wondering why I can't hear anything. I think it's what we're doing. Do we want to just swap and stream it? I don't. I mean, I can read it. Okay.

It's just like there's like a noise. It's like canceling the front of everything. Yeah, I think it's like it's purposely blocking this. Hmm. Interesting. We either have to commit one way or the other. Also, I feel like he was filling the Jeremy Piven role.

Yeah, I would rather not read the tuxedo. You guys are fun in foreign films, I bet. I think he looks younger in this than he did in Rush Hour. He looks like Rush Hour. I haven't seen it in a long time. Well, he might have been eating healthier or something.

I wonder. In America? That's a great point. So angry at American food all the time that you whined. Oh, whoa. What happened? Could have done with an extra angle there don't think three was enough it's i feel like it's really tough to like if you don't want to do a stunt in a jackie chan movie like it's a rare time where jackie chan is what is happening why

is this escalating uh because people in new york are angry okay that's fair this seems very unnecessary yeah this is similar to like the guy at the beginning of ace ventura just like hulk roided up dude doesn't like cars i like the idea of jackie chan eating at hooters so much he has a shirt of it. Boo boo friend. I'm not your fucking friend. This guy isn't even the villain of the movie. This guy isn't even the villain of the movie. He might be the most medicine character,

and he's just a random cyclist that Jackie Chan hits. Get a tattoo of a chicken. I'm going to write that down. You should. Bottom of the trivia. That could be... Yeah, you should pick out the line of the movie, probably. Oh. Let me... of the trivia that could be yeah you should pick out the like a line of the movie probably oh let me is that that we just almost saw where his asshole is was his anus in focus there briefly i think for almost for like one second if only he had a tail there would be a product we could sell

i don't think that was a quote. I think they missed that quote. Was that a Palm Pilot? Was it? I don't know. I think she's the person I've seen the most, but don't know what her name is. I've seen that actress in so many things.

Yeah, I feel like I see her all the time. Have you never seen her in a thing before? For sure. I think I could... What else is she in a thing before? for sure what else is she in? Entourage? she's in a ton of shit she's in a lot of things I can't name but she's there

she looks kind of like Mila Jovovich but I think isn't Mila Jovovich yeah Mila Jovovich? yeah I'm glad I didn't step on that landmine. Thanks, Jeff. No problem.

I think she might be on like a CSI or something now. So you bought this the day it came out on DVD, Gavin? So you are... I was so excited. I had it pre-ordered. At this point, did you still... You pre-ordered this? point did you still pre-ordered this yeah

of course I did there's a dude in Estonia who would love to talk to you you missed that part it was before you came okay I want to know tell me at what point if you remember where you started to doubt this purchase.

Maybe it'll never come. Maybe this has aged well. I do remember when I thought this was a shit movie. Okay, I can't wait. I'll call it out when it happens. Oh, I'm so excited. At this point, are you still on board? Like, you're into it?

Oh, yeah, I was still pretty open-minded at this point. I think this is pretty cool so far. A guy... He's driving backwards. He's already been in a funny fight a guy got a fight there no under his cap he loves a good driving stunt there was a big driving scene in Who Am I that he did

I think he just likes driving And fighting And who am I It's a Jackie Chan movie I've never seen it It's probably my favorite one Really I like that we're watching the tuxedo

Instead of your favorite You like it more than what is it Operation Condor Which one's that that's a good one yeah that's a there's a i know that some of them have had like different names oh yeah oh speaking of different names do you know what this movie is called in argentina fun fact trivia trivia fact for you the sales else smoking I don't know I have a list of Argentina was else smoking and the French title for this was less smoking Croatia smoking it was either smoking or tuxedo so I'm guessing maybe smoking is like an interchangeable word for tuxedo depending on the language smoking suit uh i guess yeah

that's actually where all of his power comes from he can't get rid of that yeah that's where all of his driving skill he's like but i get so many compliments at the hooters they won't recognize me I won't get my discounts I'd like to think that was just a shirt he wore it makes me happy to imagine Jackie Chan is a big Hooters guy just loves it really into chicken wings let me say you should get

a tattoo of a chicken because it's a throw it's like i'll get another discount on hooters i love the winks and he mentioned the chicken it's thingy that was that was a cool reveal oh malfoy yeah jason isaacs jason isaacs i think he was also in hobbit or i think that's correct i think the last time I saw him, what was the, it's a great, the comedy you recommend it to me, Jeff. It's a Russian it's a Russian satire movie

but it's not Russian. It's like British. All the actors are British. Jeffrey Tambor is in it. Oh! Death of Stalin. He's in Death of Stalin. Yeah. I think that's the last time I saw him. He's great in that. I love that movie. It's a really good movie. It's a very funny movie. So is Jason Isaacs the villain of the movie? No, he's like the hero. He's great in that. I love that movie. It's a very funny movie. So is Jason Isaacs the villain of the movie?

No, he's like the hero. He's like the James Bond. Oh, it's his tuxedo. It's his tuxedo. Well, he has the tuxedo. I don't know if it's his tuxedo. I don't really under like I'm sure they'll elaborate, but I don't remember. The tuxedo is like like, sentient, right?

Like, it's moving, not you. It's like you're a puppet in the suit. Yeah. It's really weird. Uh-oh. That was a bad salute. Jeff's a real salute snob. He doesn't like Dan's salutes either.

I spent five fucking years in the army having to salute properly so did Dan, he was seven listen I'm not going to get back into the whole Dan thing that was years ago and uh it turns out it's an insult to your entire country so oh it's Phoebe's dad from Friends

laughs laughs laughs Oh, it's Phoebe's dad from Friends. That guy, what else is he in? He's in a lot too. He's probably the guy I've seen the most without knowing his name. He's in a million things. Bob. I want to say he's a Bob, but I can't tell if it's just his face.

He looks like a Bob. Isn't he in all of like the Mighty Wind and Spinal Tap and all that stuff? Yeah, he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Christopher Guest, dude. He looks like a Bob. He could be a Bob. I think he's a Bob.

Why don't you look him up? I'm doing it right now. I'm just searching Christopher Guest Bob. See what happens. All the things you could have searched uh it's not i i got christopher guest is the first thing that pops up bob balaban he is a bob oh wow that was a good bob call that was a great bob call i am great at calling probably the most bob looking bob that i've seen but that was still a great bob

cool i'm like a caddy for bobs i can just read the room i can read the bobs in the room and i can advise you what what was the budget on this film this was uh let me see if i can find that out it's a big budget movie the trivia I have 60 million that's pretty significant it is this movie opened up in second the weekend it came out falling to Sweet Home Alabama number one at the box office that week

tough to tough to go against Elwoods at the height of her popularity. I was about to say her name and then you said Elwoods and it fucked me. I said Elwoods. I couldn't remember her real name. I was about to say her real name

and then you said that and it threw me off completely. I was going to say her real name too, but then said that and it threw me off completely. I was gonna say her real name too but then I didn't because I couldn't. That's not Mila Jovovich that's somebody else. Why? I'm not sure you do.

The person who directed this is the only movie they directed. Dude I was about to say the exact same thing i just hooked this up because i went this direction's insane yeah what don't you like about it they keep showing mouths and they went to a bug store well that might not be anything to do with the director the bug store part uh but like the way they shot the bug store was like they were at a jewelry store, but it was a bug store. It was a store with bugs in it. I think watching this, you can see like this guy, he was a commercial director. I was up until like 1 a.m. last night watching every commercial he had.

He has a website. I watched all of his commercials. He also has a phone number on his site that I texted. Haven't got a reply yet. I was asking if you had any uh we should it might be a landline him it could do you think he was just used to shooting commercials of people eating stuff so he kept shooting people's mouths he's like a latino of mouths i bet i bet he insisted on the soul patch he was probably like no the face, the mouth area needs more action. We need to see more.

Jackie Chan was like, only for two scenes. The problem is he was a commercial director in the early 2000s, and those commercials are just generally fucking insane, but almost all of his work is absurd. It's ridiculous. I wonder if he'd want to do an interview

with us about his experience on this movie and no other movies well there's not there's no other movie for him to talk about no i want to talk about why no other movies yeah well now i'm thinking tuxedo moves so like what are the logistics it's pulling him right like he the tuxedos doing like the movement of it is so baffling to me i like that i was still on board for the movie at this point that's the fucking stupidest looks so unnatural what the hell is it made of also is it the pants or is it only is it only the top it's got to be the pants and shoes right i would think it's probably the entire

titular tuxedo maybe not the socks you well wait what at what point does the tuxedo. Maybe not the socks. Don't you? Well, wait. At what point does the tuxedo end? When does the tuxedo end? I always kind of assume a tuxedo is the upper half. No, no, no, no. What? That's, no. Is a tuxedo a full outfit? Yes.

If I rented a tux and I got half a tux for the wedding, I'd be pissed. He's a black jacket, asshole. Can he zoom out and show the... I think that what he's looking at is what I assumed a tuxedo was. I didn't think it went beyond that. I thought it was just that.

I didn't know there was anything else. Well, like, no, not the... Like, the whole thing, the suit, like, the jacket. I essentially thought a tuxedo was a jacket. I didn't know it was part of the entire outfit. Okay. That scene was edited

insanely. I guess there are pants there. I'd love to ask him about it. This is what happens when you're not a pants guy. I just have no idea what's going on unless it's shorts. I don't know. That's interesting. I wonder if it was just like the guy impressed the right person on a commercial shoot.

And then then he just realized movies weren't for him. Like like he's like, I work better in 30 second increments or whatever, because like I remember early on, like around like season three of Red vs. Blue when we were making that Bernie and Matt had me direct one episode. And then that was it. Never again. They were like, yeah, this was a mistake. We're good. We got this. And I was like, yeah, I agree. Makes sense. I'm so happy. Oh my

God. It's a mission. Why would they have Burger King be their money is the answer. But narratively, why? Does she decide what shift she works? Can he only accept missions on certain days does she set her is the whole burger king a front yeah to do it to do it properly that special agent probably had to apply and get hired at that burger king work there long enough to become a shift lead

and what what are you talking about the lady that handed it in the pizza sorry no no you're right i agree with you this is what the what i'm watching is insane we're gonna sell one of these right aren't we selling yeah they didn't want to do remote control or anything they just told that skateboard to follow the giant flashing bomb looking thing they told the skateboard to follow the most like the closest whopper available and it's just i love the idea of sticking that on someone's back where do you guys land on burger king as a restaurant it's fine i'm fine with it to be honest there's a lot of hatred for it i'll get a a Whopper down. I'll get like a... I'm perfectly...

An Angus burger down. I'm perfectly fine. My girlfriend fucking hates it though. A Roadhouse King? Pretty good. I'm not a big Whopper guy, but I enjoy the Roadhouse. That was a cool shot.

I like a bacon double cheeseburger. Yeah. I enjoyed the camera on the skateboard going under the car there. That was nice. But this once again kind of feels very commercially to me. Like all these angles

You just gotta appreciate the lack it's hit the lack of a gopro we should hire this guy to make the commercial for our robot skateboards we sell oh it wasn't bomb i mean surely they could have just put on the car Why did they What was the point of that Yeah like stick the bomb On the So there was a thing on the car not a bomb then It was just the thing on the skateboard The thing on the skateboard was a mechanism

To drive the skateboard to the car I think and then there was a bomb on top Of the mechanism I think no I think the skateboard Was the bomb and it was Magn on top of the mechanism. I think... No, I think the skateboard was the bomb and it was magnetically attracted to the mechanism. Oh, they got his head artery. What do you mean?

Okay. Walter Strider. That's the link to the bug like the war strider there's somebody who watched this name Walter Strider was like I have no if I was gonna have my name change at death, I would want it to land on Dilford for sure.

Is he dead? It's a good explosion. Jason Isaacs. It was. No, he's not dead. Why does he care? Why is he involved? Why is he involved? Why is he pursuing anything?

He's a driver. Like, what is... I always feel for people doing stunts like that. That was an overall nothing stunt in the grand scheme of the movie. But I can imagine him having to do that four or five times. And I bet it hurt on the fifth cut. I bet it hurt every fucking time. And then you barely see it.

Yeah. She actually thought it was a real hospital. She just showed up. Yeah. Star of the movie. Did somebody write that? Is that in the script? Can we get the script? I want to know what this character's written words were. Seaway Queen.

Banning ink. Seagulls crying would be a great name for a band. Can I just call my boat my headquarters? Can I just have a like that? What's the rule? Is any inflatable a floating headquarters if I wanted to be?

I think you can call your house your headquarters. Yeah. Like your room specifically. That's the Dark Knight guy. That guy. The Dark Knight guy? Stormer! The Dark Knight!

He's the Russian guy in the Dark Knight. That's not Christian Bale. No. You know the guy that is, they like light his money on fire. Tom Hardy? Yeah, no. The other one. Gavin, I would pay good money to see

you have that haircut. I think I've had that haircut. I can whip you up a picture. This is, now this is the first scene that we've seen so far that I remember. I remember this guy like dissolving or something. He dissolves? Doesn't he?

Oh my god, I don't know. I watched this when I was like eight in a van. I don't remember this, but I'm excited. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he like gets so thirsty he crumbles to dust. Can I ask you a question? Of course. Is all this because of deer piss? Or did I miss something along the way?

I don't think we can rule out that it isn't. I don't think they've established that it's not. I don't think it is, but I can't say it's not. Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ looking at me. Oh, Jesus Christ, he is dusting. Peter Stormare is such a great mad scientist.

He's great at everything. This is quite a lot of hair for a Stormare appearance. It is. He played the devil in Constantine. It was like the coolest fucking devil. Oh, yeah This is a similar scene in it like a guy drowning, but he couldn't drink or something something like that. Yeah, Jesus Christ Fuck that's not what you want. He did get dusted Oh Oh fuck! That's not what you want. He did get dusted! What the fuck? Oh Jesus Christ!

That's like a PG Jackie Chan movie. He snapped the guy's hand down the lengthways. So you don't remember that? No! I don't! Was that George Stephanopoulos? He's got famous names. Springsteen, Steinbrenner George Stephanopoulos he's got famous names Springsteen Steinbrenner Stephanopoulos

Strider what if this whole movie was him never actually figuring out what he was supposed to look for in the pursuit of Walter Strider so the idea there that guy was making a brand of water that makes people thirsty. Is that right?

Is that what he was going for? But, well, I guess, yeah. And at the extreme, you would eventually die from it. Right? I don't know if he's trying to sell his water or kill people. No, I think he's killing people. I think killing people is legal. Okay.

Okay. Maybe this is the story of Dasani. This is what the Walmart people want to do they get the reservoir or whatever oh montage what oh it does its own pants up i really like the idea that he like saw back to the future it was like no guys listen we can't we don't need to stop at the shoes hear me out i still thought this was a good movie what the fuck i mean i don't need to stop at the shoes hear me out i still thought this was a good movie what the fuck i mean i don't hate this ow i would buy this product did he just get pricked with a million internal needles i think shocked i don't know if they pricked oh yes that explains how it can like control his fingers and stuff yeah

this is actually terrifying. You lose complete free will as soon as you put this tuxedo on. It's like Dr. Ock. Do you think the name for the movie came before the plot? Like somebody said Tux. Tactical. And they came up with the acronym and they're like, we should make a fucking movie about that.

That's a James Bond shit. Yeah. I think somebody at DreamWorks was looking through a list of titles they already had the rights to and then had to write Bond shit. Yeah. I think somebody at DreamWorks was looking through a list of titles they already had the rights to and then had to write around that. He's in demolition mode. Did demolition mode mean something else in 2002? Because this is not...

This is like a pre-programmed routine. Like a pre-programmed routine. This was the day they couldn't afford to fly the stunt team over. Oh, how fast was that ball? Was yours faster, Jeff? You think you could out-throw Jack and Chad? That was a slow throw. Also, it wouldn't be him throwing, it'd be the suit, so it wouldn't count. That's true.

Also, wait till I solve this spinal arthritis, and then I'm going to be throwing heat. Shit. I like that the government suit has a shake booty. Out of all the things they could have named it they settled on that I want to be in the group meeting one sec I gotta

he's gotta go get his FedEx we can recap him so he's got this thing dialed up to 10 right like if he rolled it back to like 6 would he do a less enthusiastic like normal dance I to what range like what is the because it seems like it's

just on max i don't have they established that there are different ranges i don't know man but who wants to ever dance like that like to that degree whoever owns that suit i guess or whoever made it whatever the cwa or whatever their fake agency is CSA that's close is this Jennifer Love Hewitt at her peak or is this like right before it um she was on top of the world there uh from like I know what you did last summer all the way up till she had that show where she was like the jack-off masseuse right was that pre or pre or after the uh the ghost one she's the ghost whisperer too i don't know what order they came in i think most i think the i think that was after or was it both was she a jerk-off massage person who also spoke to ghosts?

It's a multi-hyphenate. Yeah, they learned in season three. I would also say that I think that she's one of those people that is probably still as famous as ever, right? And so it's still kind of at her peak. I think she still works whenever she wants to.

What was the... What was the... He said nice rack. Oh, great. She punched him. But it wasn't him. It was probably the suit. Or it was the deer piss talking.

We can't... It's the deer piss. But deer actually has top billing on IMDB. Gavin, are you still in at this point? Yeah, he's gone.

He's, he's, he went to sign for FedEx package. He didn't, what he forgot to mention was that it's not at his house. He has to take an Uber to FedEx. This is, this is all an elaborate scheme by Gavin to just make us watch the tuxedo.

He's on his, he's on his way to eat dinner right now. Meg was texting him the reservation time. He's being seated for sushi. That's a nice car, though. It is. And, you know, it's a nice tuxedo. They did a good job with that. So, what do you think a tuxedo is now?

Have you changed your opinion? Now, yeah. Now I understand it's the pants as well. Before, I thought it was just everything above the pants. Do you think it's also the shirt? Yeah, the shirt. I assumed it was the shirt and the coat, the jacket it's also the shirt yeah the shirt i assumed it was the shirt and the the the coat the jacket was what a cucumber bun if there is one and uh

yeah have you ever have you ever worn a tuxedo no uh yes when i was like five i was the ring bearer to a wedding and i think i wore a tux and that, the only one that I've ever worn was our friend Gus Sorolla. When he got married, he, as a, just to be a dick, he made all of his groomsmen wear powder blue, ruffly tuxedos. Yeah.

You didn't pause it. Were we supposed to? Yeah, were we supposed to pause it? My FedEx thing was there. I thought you paused it for a second. What did I miss? Why would we pause this? We had a whole thing. We had to figure out how we were starting it back up earlier.

Yeah, dude. Also, we were pretty sure that this was all a ploy to get us to watch the movie while you went and had sushi with Meg. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, I might have missed the bit where I thought with Meg. Yeah. Oh, no. Oh. Oh, I might have missed the bit where I thought it was the worst.

Oh, that's what I asked. I asked, like, and you were gone. I said, are you still in at this point? So he called her and she's like, stop using that accent to who she thought was Jason Isaacs. Then Jackie Chan said a woman has a nice rack and got punched. And then he drove over here is all you've missed.

Yeah, you didn't miss much no like essentially nothing has happened he's got i just want them to go through and show everything that they could do i want every setting you think this is the inspiration for the apple watch they saw this wasn't this like a blumhouse movie recently or a24 one of those the tuxedo like when you know like some dude who had like a super body that he almost died and then this sucks and then he could do shit upgrade yeah this is also just a preset in the thing like

specifically rifle cleaning mode I also feel like it would be cooler to just watch him do it than what they just did like that was the lamest version of that action I agree like it would be cooler to just watch him do it than what they just did. Like, that was the lamest version of that action. I agree. What is it? It's a... What is... It's a gun?

Or it's a camera? Oh, it's a gun. Okay. That was funny. That was really funny. The way the camera flipped, it looked like he was falling upwards. It's such a weird edit. Rifle tricks! Rifle tricks!

Rifle tricks! Which rifle tricks? Oh, that's a boy! Oh, shit! What's great? Bounce off and go in her hair? The thing that's important to remember is Jackie Chan has as much knowledge as we do about what these things do He's got no concept of what's going on

rifle trick Should have been cool that in Argentina Oh Is that true that's that You look at how much bottled water was consumed in 2000 if I was like the first person on earth And I was just looking at all the water. I wouldn't think like that's where the value is Story How much

How much water? Jackie Chan standing there with a tuxedo and a rifle is very funny That guy died then the guy that got hit in the head. I believe so yeah, it's a funny trick Is this the highest body count Jackie Chan movie? I like that he had no reaction to it. He's a taxi driver. He just killed a guy. He had no moral impact on him. Man, he should be

feeling lucky that he's not drowning in a bag right now was he on wires there no he could really do all that I thought so that is awesome that is very cool dude Jackie Chan at this point we determined

earlier is 48 48, I believe. I am 46. I can't ride a bicycle anymore. God damn. I feel like this movie should have more of Jackie Chan just being like, what the fuck am I doing? Because this isn't him. I mean, there's moments of that

that last bit where he was against the pipe he was his face was like what's going on but he kind of has like a playful like confidence because he's Jackie Chan where if I was in the scenario I'd just be screaming the entire time my body did all the actions there would be no chill

62 year old wrote that is that where they lost you Gavin no I'm still in I think well when you have a preorder it's really tough to like it really has to fall to be like this was this didn't go well Jackie Chan is the king of like prop fighting

there's always like someone's jacket or a rope or like through a car did you see skip trace no skip trace is the movie he made with uh Johnny Knoxville only good thing about it is the prop fighting he's got this great scene where he's holding like a Russian doll and every time it gets punched it gets smaller until he's just like holding this really tiny thing it's a really great visual gag Johnny Knoxville might be the guy who I like the most and I want to see succeed and film the most who continually makes the worst movies you say

that about like succeeding I thought I was like oh nobody saw skip trace it made a thousand dollars in the domestic box office and made a hundred thirty two million worldwide it was a massive hit quick rifle tricks box office and made 132 million worldwide it was a massive hit oh what is this is this default the suit just does this okay what was on his hand what is that is? Is it like goo? Oh, it's like a...

Oh, the suit. I think shot that out. It's a magnet. He's Spider-Man. He's Spider-Man now, yeah. Dude, imagine a Jackie Chan Spider-Man in the 70s. It'd be sick. Spider-Man.

He would have hated it. Oh, God. I bet he could still do it all he wanted to do was serious dramas which makes his career really funny in America he's like I just want to make a movie like Kramer versus Kramer and they won't let me have you ever seen his like

original martial arts movies like Drunken Master and stuff? I've seen a few of them as a kid, yeah. But not in a long time. So good. Even then. Yeah, I feel like I haven't seen his super old stuff. I've probably seen from like Police Story onwards. They used to, um,

there was like when I was a kid, there was on the, I was going to say it was the USA channel, they would have like Sunday morning kung fu theater and they would have like three kung fu movies back to back and he was always one of them oh is he gonna get the owie hands oh he's gonna get owie hands at the bottom ow

there's no owie it's the tuxedo that was a little bit would you say that was the weakest of his owie hand performances well maybe it's because you're expecting it and then there's no owie hands because of the amazing tuxedo so like once again does he know how to do this? Is this the tuxedo? Is this the thing? I think this might be him. I think this is all him. I bet you 90% of the people that own Hooters shirts can also do this. I think it's a weird cross-section.

He should have just scrolled to shadow tricks instead of rifle tricks. Jackie Chan never fought so many inanimate objects in one movie. He had a whole fight with a a building decided to attack him. How far into this are we? We're halfway. Wow. I feel like nothing has happened. Gavin is still in at this point

Hold on hold on Game watch backs when I was younger And this movie And this movie sucks. I was out from that point. After you have that moment, and then you, I guess, finish the film, what do you do with the DVD you just saved up to buy and pre-order I bet it was like 18 quid as

well back then yeah did you like does it go in a drawer or do you return it I think I put it on the shelf that's probably it is this how you felt when you watched the number 23 I watched that at your house so you paid for it

were you excited about the number 23 23. I watched that at your house, so you paid for it. Were you excited about the number 23? He loves... He really loves... I can't think of his name either. Jim Carrey? The arthritis is getting into my brain.

He loves Jim Carrey and had never seen a bad Jim Carrey film. And I was like, I've seen one. And so he was like, it's not into my brain uh he loves jim carrey and had never seen a bad jim carrey film and i was like i've seen one and so he was like it's not possible and so we had a whole conversation about so then i rented it so he could see it and then uh then he got to see and then you convinced me that ace ventura 2 is also a bad one it is yep so if he went to court for something he did in the tuxedo and the tuxedo did it is he still liable uh could he use the tuxedo as a defense i think it's like in lawyer mode i mean i would think it never mind gavin's right that's way That was way funnier and more appropriate

than all the political jokes I was about to make. Thank you. I feel like I haven't seen her in a lot of movies. Who? Jennifer Love Hewitt? Yeah. While you were away, we had a whole thing about her career. It's been a ton of stuff.

I think she has like a few kids now. So she probably just, you know, raising kids. She was famous for getting engaged and breaking off engagements to people. What, just getting rings? I guess so. She did that a lot. I think she was the one... I also from everything I remember, there was a guy on the Howard Stern show that was engaged to her for a while.

I think she always wore the pants in the family. I think she was the... Oh my lord. Tended to do the engaging. She was in the Ghost Whisperer from 2005 through 2010. It's a great business to be in. There's never...

If you can whisper to ghosts, what a great industry. There's never going to stop being ghosts. Yeah, every day, new ghosts. Let's see what she's done recently. Dude, they should bring that show back and do like ghost whisperer covid days i feel like ghost whisperer would just be an asmr channel now I just went to her Instagram and she has a post from November 23rd

saying it was such an honor to be a part of this movie my kids are so proud of me please check it out they bark they bite they booby trap burglars beware and it's a movie called Pups Alone starring Danny Trejo and Malcolm McDowell so andrew's immediately okay i just thank you for bringing up trejo the guy that directed this made a pilot

called what would trejo do in 2017 it is horrendous one of the worst things i've ever seen what would he do very weird uh well what's weird is he's the one saying it like something would happen like he's getting arrested he's like it's it. Like, something would happen. Like, he's getting arrested, and he's like, it's times like these, I would say. What would Danny do? I know what Machete would do, but what would I do? And then he does the thing that he would do. It makes no sense.

It's terrible. Where did you watch this? It's, I found the director has a, uh, oh, what's the, it's not YouTube, it's it's like vimeo i think is it vimeo is on yeah yeah i don't know we should watch that at some it is so bad do you let me ask you a question we're now halfway through this steaming pile of film uh would you say this is something we're gonna do again in the future i i mean i'm i wouldn't be opposed this is fine i'm sorry i like watching movies.

I'm certainly enjoying it, too. Well, I think that we, once again, you know, I'm all up on the Happy Days front, but I think watching a Danny Trejo pilot sounds like an awesome idea. I don't, like, hmm. I don't know. Maybe.

Like, yes. You suggested it. I know I suggested it. I didn't suggest it for content. I don't know if it's content. Andrew is iffy on Trejo know I didn't suggest it for content. I don't know if it's content. Andrew is iffy on Trejo, I feel like, because you did say he never escalates anything he's in, or he never...

What were you saying? What was your phrase? No, he's very likable, but I don't feel like you're ever excited that he's in it. But he's good. Are we keying in? Are you feuding with Danny Trejo right now? Do you guys have beef?

No, I love Danny. It's either Peter Stormare or Danny Trejo. You don't sound like you love him. He just got re-added to Far Cry 6. I have no issue with Danny Trejo. I feel like they've really loaded in on Jesus Christ. Oh my god. All these gormless dudes

just stared at her ass and tits every ten seconds. Terrible. I don't like it. And she was engaged to all of them. And she broke it off with all of them. James Brown. Oh, it's James Brown. His last film appearance.

The Godfather of Soul. James Brown, one of the funniest interviews of all time. Really? Oh my God. Go back and watch any of his classic CNN stuff, losing his mind, being fucking on another planet. People just having no concept of what he's talking about. He was awesome.

He's just a guy. He's just got a lot to say, but you don't know what it is. And he's just going to, boy, he's going to say it. And he's going to say it enthusiastically. Gavin, you're not back in at that? Oh, come on. Oh my God. He also,

James Brown in a commercial with Danny Trejo. I think the greatest commercial of all time. What's the commercial for? It was a car commercial with Danny Trejo. I think the greatest commercial of all time. What's the commercial for? It's it was a car commercial with Clive Owen. And it's about James Brown made a deal with the devil to become famous. And the devil's played by Gary Oldman and Clive Owen and James Brown race. The devil played by Gary Oldman and Danny Trejo to make him young again. And if not, then he like forfeits his soul forever.

That is a star-studded AAA commercial. It's great. It's like early 2000s. It's fantastic. Didn't when James, I'm going to guess Eric's going to know about this. When James Brown died, wasn't there like a thing where

they were fighting over his body and so he didn't get buried for like six months or something? What? Oh, wow. I totally forgot about that uh mouth shot or maybe more than a year like he didn't get it up didn't he arrested a ton of times wasn't he just like a basically a criminal well i mean he was a goddamn national treasure is what he was i don't know about that i don't know if the law applied to him i also don't know much about his personal life so if he was. I don't know about that. I don't know if the law applied to him.

I also don't know much about his personal life, so if he was a monster, I... July 24th. July 24th of this year. Family of James Brown settles 15-year battle over his estate.

So it was a little more than six months, okay. James Brown's body cut up for paternity test relocated several times holy shit that's insane i can see why he hated his american movie this also doesn't work like if you went to see james brown and even if the performance is great this isn't james brown like this is i'd be pissed the government programmed it to do this this is weirdly the rifle tricks function. Also, Jackie Chan at this point is a huge global star.

He read the script and agreed to do this. Like he knew this was coming. As I said, this is how much you wanted to work with Spielberg. He's like, I didn't like this movie from the beginning, but I felt this was an in with him. This was a DreamWorks movie. I'll say this too. Obviously a true fucking professional

because he is putting on a show. I don't think he ever half-assed anything. I agree. Even if he hated all these movies, you can never tell by watching him. Like, this looks like his favorite movie right now. So the guy trying to end the world just goes to a james brown show because he likes to why is he there why this scene is way too long why is this still going why are we still here this scene for Jeff of this

RC that they shot a lot of there's a lot of Jackie Chan ass in this movie remember when you think that that's Jackie Chan right he wouldn't use a body double does all his own stuff 100% action yeah yeah I love the idea of him never using a stuntman for all of his fights,

but he gets like a butt double. Well, you know also he's got to have a great ass, right? After an entire lifetime of the workouts that he does, the shape he's in, he's got to have buns of steel. He's got some moves.

I'd love to know how much they paid James Brown for that role. I do not. Probably more than Jackie Chan. Was there a list of people that could have been? Like, how did they settle on James Brown? Why James Brown?

I want to know the full list of possible candidates. Excuse me? What? It's a code word? It's a code word? It's a play. It's like an NFL play. It was the equivalent of yelling Omaha at the line, Jeff. Oh, okay.

Got it. That lady's got a lot of teeth. Would you say an above average number of teeth? Just they're very prominent. I've never looked at someone and said they have a lot of teeth. No? No. I could introduce you to some people from my past.

I've met some people with teeth before, man. Like just a lot of them or just very prominent? A lot of them prominent. Like I knew a lady with sharp teeth. She had like 80 teeth and they were tiny. This freaking suit. It's not even subcategories. Did it say mashed potato? Yeah, he's got mashed potato right next to it.

Yeah, but it's in like the same list as like smash the room up. It's like this thing, these folders or something or subbeddies. It's an organizational mess. A 92 Dasani. She could correctly identify the brand and year of water. The worst X-Men ability. I bet I could pull out Dasani from other wars.

Oh, I could definitely taste it. I couldn't tell you the year. You could taste the fucking gross oil film. Dasani sucks. And the Mets asian. No, I enjoy a Dasani. It's like water with a hint of motor oil. It's a very aggressive water tank.

I feel very strongly about Dasani, and I have for a long time. I think it was banned in England for some reason. Probably because of the fossil fuels. Has he done anything since this movie started to advance his plan? Like, he killed the one guy. Like, what has he done he's just hanging

out at this concert well that's what that's what leaders do right they they hire the right people and delegate so they can focus on the bigger picture. Aw. Dang it. Does that mean he had input on that plan? He signed up. He probably had to approve the purchase order. What other bums do they have? Do they have a jet ski bomb?

The phrasing of it is they have multiple types of bombs for vehicles. I want to talk to this woman about the casting of this movie. She gets called a vacuous and rancid tart. It's pretty extreme. I'm not sure what she's getting at there. He's still just thinking about Walter Strider. Trying to get to the bottom of this.

Wait, they just left? They found... What? Yeah, they found out she's CSA and he owns a BMW and they were like, we gotta go. There's... okay. I feel like that's classic, like, the henchmen capture them at this point.

Like, something happens, they don't just leave the restaurant. How are you gonna capture the suit? It's a great point. That's true. I really hope we see mashed potato mode. Oh, is he going up the outside? Why? I don't know.

Why is she walking alone by the pool at night? And in slow-mo. Is that how you would have filmed it? I would have had her in focus a bit more, probably. at night. And in slow-mo. Is that how you would have filmed it? I would have had her in focus a bit more, probably. I mean, I know they were going for a full focus, but it was too soon. So fucking critical.

Jesus, what was that he's got a super fast search oh that was amazing how the fuck is she gonna control the bubble size yeah I was gonna say I've never I don't think bubble preference is a thing I think it was supposed to be innuendo but I don't think bubble preference is a thing. I think it was supposed to be innuendo, but I don't know in what way. I said it jokingly at the beginning of the movie.

I truly do believe the most medicine character has been the guy Jackie Chan accidentally hit with the bike guy. We have never peaked that level of intimidation. What else that guy's been in and done. I don't even know. Let's see if I can find him. That's a weird foot. Like the fourth toe was long.

Usually it's like the second one or the big one. I don't know what you want, Gavin. You're saying they're being too aggressive with her looks and then you come for her feet as soon as they're revealed. You immediately have negative feet text. I could have just done without that close-up, I'll be honest. I agree with the close-up. I'm not a foot guy. No, I'm not foot guy sizing no I'm not either

I'm powerless without this what if you only lose half can you fuck better in the tuxedo? Depends on what mode is it. Yeah, what mode? What would they call that mode? Maybe that's what mashed potato is. Oh no. It would just be pussy demolition. Gross. Oh! I bet you're gonna

regret saying that later. Absolutely. Absolutely. saying that later. Absolutely. Shit. It's like suddenly this movie turned into true romance. Oh my lord.

Nothing is taking a beating in this movie like inanimate objects. Once again. Getting slammed. Oh no, they'll fall into the pool. He has got a whole handful of tit there. Good lord. Oh, wipe! How unnecessary.

Aw, that's cute. Jesus. The things I'm gonna do to meet Spielberg. Did he ever, like, work with... Was he ever in, like, a Spielberg movie? I don't think so. He just really wanted to meet him. Something funny about trying to kick a door open

and your foot goes straight through it it's more anus shots so yeah that was that was his work right he's like i'll be in the movie but i really want to show off my tush that bit was cool did you see pants only defense mode yeah what move and what movie has that guy ever been menacing Donna the Dead using that movie I recognize yeah it wasn't a Tucker no it wasn't medicine the classic fighting

while getting dressed that's amazing doesn't it button itself up it does nice great sound effects in this movie I'll give it that what was that so you're definitely back in at this point right absolutely I don't see how you couldn't be

maybe you just at your, couldn't appreciate it on the level that we can as adults now. I mean, I feel like you can... A bad Jackie Chan movie you just enjoy is like a selection of scenes. Like, I liked that fight that we just watched. That was a good fight. I mean, just...

Just accidentally killed that guy. Oh, wait, is he going to save him? No, he's landing in the guy. Oh, wait. Is he going to save him? No, he's landing in the water. Oh, yeah. I forgot. Water's fine. He landed on the other dude.

Fucking Christ. What a shitty way to die. the emperor she just locked herself out she thinks he's the emperor oof oof oof Oof. Oof. Oof. What if that was just an unnecessary bone?

Stick it out. I don't know who any of these people are. That's Jennifer Lovejewin. That's Jackie Chan. That's Jennifer Lovejewin. Diarrhea. Oh. mm-hmm diarrhea oh I don't like this oh what I assume at this point when I was a kid I was just hanging in there for the

outtakes yeah no absolutely this point you know they're gonna, I was just hanging in there for the outtakes. Yeah, no, absolutely. At this point, you know they're going to deliver. Do you guys have trouble sleeping too? I mean, no. I do. I couldn't sleep last night. I guess I'm a lot more like Jackie Chan than I realized.

Yeah. how do you think they felt like let's say i i know movies don't shoot this way let's just assume they're shooting this in chronological order how do you think they feel about the movie at this point? At what point were they like, oh boy. Did they ever know? I wonder if they still like... Actually, let me go on the director's webpage. Called it a Kung Fu classic, I believe. So I don't think... A classic? I believe so. I wonder how many people find out their movie is

bad on opening night. You surely must know in the edit. I don't know. You would assume. Let's see. Wait, is she bad or was she bad? Or was she good? I don't know who she... She was a good guy, right?

Or is she a bad guy? She's a good guy. Is she in Zoolander? Yeah! That's the thing. She's in? Yeah. Yeah.

She's Will Ferrell, I think. Yeah. Did he just photocopy that? That was awesome. Mm-hmm. It's really disappointing they never let him just do a dramatic movie. He did at some point, right?

I thought that's what The Foreigner was. Yeah, but it's still an action movie. Like, I don't want any action. You don't want it to fight? I want you to take away everything that makes Jackie Chan Jackie Chan. Let him do that. He just needs his Philadelphia. He does.

Yeah. He can flip, like, pancakes in a cool way. I don't know. There's a way to, like, add some stun pancakes in a cool way. There's a way to add some stunts to a family drama. They couldn't have put those in a peli case? You know, he didn't do...

He didn't do a lot of karate in the Karate Kid remake. He was more of the mentor. That's true. Leaving it up to the kids. is more of the mentor. That's true. Leaving it up to the kids.

How much do you think they paid for this song? Can we use this? Could this be our theme song? I feel like this is public. I don't want it. I'm just... It's available, I assume. If we could have a theme song that we paid for i would want it to be jackie chan singing uh he has 13 albums we could get some jackie chan music well i would want i would want him

specifically singing james brown i think we could i think jeff let me tell you about a movie also he didn't sing that. Didn't they just pull James Brown's audio? I feel like he just lip-synced. They didn't even let him sing. How sad. Man, that looks expensive as shit. This is where the budget went.

Yeah. Imagine the director describing what he wants to the props department. They're like, for this movie? All right. I like the secret entrance to my bunker to be a thing that people would just naturally do all the time.

They're in there. It's like, let's downsize from the pool let's make the secret entrance a hot tub and spend the money we save on a new script said deer piss to the lot of deer piss just do still make it to fight Chan in this I don't think so it's a shame he doesn't strike me as like a fighting

character How many ladders has Jackie Chan slid down in his life? I bet he's got a record. I bet he's got the record for most ladder slides in film. This set looks like half of every scene in the first three X-Men movies. This set looks like half of every scene in the first three X-Men movies. Which was the Uma Thurman Batman movie? Oh. Batman and Robin. Was that Robin?

No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was. Yep, it was Batman and Robin. It's got those vibes for me. Thank you. Thank you. What? Okay.

How far into this movie are we? It's got to be the end. It took one hour and nine minutes for the main characters to learn what we learned three minutes in. What are they doing? Oh, it can camo?

Wait, how is it camoing when she was behind? Wouldn't it have to camo what was the back of the suit? No! It says it works the same as the Harry Potter cloak. She was in the suit with him? Yeah, probably. It wrapped around her. That scene would have been way funnier if she was just stood there on her own and then he just materialized I really would have been pretty funny

You really liked that I just like that funny scene would have been pretty funny. You really like that. I just like that funny scene would have made the movie twice as good. Just that. And then that got me thinking like, man, we should put, they should call us to punch up

one scene in every movie. I like that idea a lot. Between the five of us, somebody will have a funny idea every time. I'd be terrible at that for a living if that was my actual job and I was just watching movies all the time. If it was the occasional one movie and I just had to punch up one moment, I think I could nail that job. I totally agree. There needs to be a scene of the year award. We need to be like,

we have won eight consecutive years. Our punch ups. Oh shit. Does she? Okay. I don't care. I have no idea Who cares at this point like after everything he's done who cares they saved your life like 86 times 86 times. Does... Do the shoes do stuff? His roommates?

He's wearing his roommate's underwear? I think so. You know what? That tracks for a dude that wears a Hooters shirt all the time. They both have the same roommate? I... We could have made that scene better. Maybe we could have punched up two scenes.

Yeah, we could have improved that. Maybe we could have punched up two scenes with him. Yeah, we could have improved that. That is the moment of the film. Yeah. oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh everything's got a flash everything oh those are pretty chairs and a sofa that's like rich people shit if the sims taught me anything when you can spend more money on a couch it's gonna be all uncomfortable

and divoted like that dude I bet that thing's super comfy really I don't think I've ever sat in one. Maybe I got the wrong impression of them. I think that they're not comfortable at first, but once they're like 40 years old, it's like the most comfortable thing ever. Is there some sort of discovery happening here?

Oh my god. Yeah, he's figuring out Walter Strider is Water Strider. Oh. Are you just figuring that out too? Water Strider. Cuts to him at a Hooters. Didn't they make that painfully obvious in the beginning? What do you mean?

I think to the audience, but maybe not to the driver. Yeah, like, I think it's a problem of us as an audience knowing way more than the characters. We're a little more

omniscient. Yeah. Dude, who knew that guy could dance like that? And he didn't even have the suit on. Do you think this is the most phoned-in bad guy performance of all time? He is more sadistic than... He ripped the guy's hand in half.

That's true. But he just hasn't done anything is the problem. No shit. It's up for. I always wonder where you hire people to work in this lab. Like, is this a LinkedIn thing? Like, how do you get staff for this?

This is before LinkedIn, so this is probably the one. That's true. Or Craigslist. Maybe just wait outside of a prison. it's adding a different element to the movie this is the punch up that this film needed and there's nothing I can do to stop it I want you to go into movie theaters with Henry and just add this scene

I want people around you to go into movie theaters with Henry. I want people around you to react. Yeah, you get it, buddy. Do you think this... Can you guys think of another movie... It's kind of what Andrew was saying earlier. Where you could tell the people that are in it wanted to be in it less. Where they're like actively fighting the film. I'm trying to think of examples. I would say the entirety of diamonds are forever just look at short cottery yeah there you go that's a good one

for me it's probably the cell i don't know if you guys ever saw that movie is a jennifer lopez movie i think vince vaughn was in it go watch that movie now and you will see the people getting more depressed as the film progresses. I will say Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 is a good one for that because David Cross signed on to make three movies from the beginning and he's fucking miserable and the third one they filmed all

in Hawaii and he had to wear a mascot's outfit and his character's upset the entire movie and it's one of the greatest performances I've ever seen because he's not performing. He's just genuinely miserable. Is Jason Lee still in those or is he off them now? I think he was in the fourth one and they stopped there.

Hmm. Oh, he's got a tuxedo now. Oh, no. Oh, no. Detain. Demonstration mode? It starts the exact same way as demolition mode. It does.

This is how Steve Jobs opened the keynote with this product you mm-hmm mm-hmm why does this guy hate water oh shit damn that was a fall you that's there's no way he keeps his teeth. It's actually the reaction they had when reading the script.

Getting the call you actually were casted for the movie isn't that the dragon fire that's under king's landing it is yeah the high sparrow is right above this that was a good stunt. They just tie a rope around him and yank it. I'd assume. Get it?

get it why not a good suit. Is this the only movie where two pieces of clothing are fighting? Like we're just witnessing two outfits fighting each other. They could both be asleep. Oh, he fought Jackie Chan. Isn't this essentially like the male version of the House of Gucci,

I guess? I don't know. What do you mean? That was a joke about... There was a movie about ladies' fashion. You were talking about fashion fighting.

Great work. That's okay. Yeah, it was relevant because it's out right now. It just came out. Adam Driver's in it, right? Adam Driver's in in it Lady Gaga Yeah

That's a great joke. Thanks Throw a thought up oh You think they'd have software updates for the tuxedo like what if in the middle of a fight sequence you needed a firmware update Suddenly your tuxedo gets slower for no reason What is going on like Like, what is all this shit? Why was there a pool full of snakes? I don't know, Eric. Those are the poison snakes that are gonna infiltrate with the mosquitoes or whatever.

We're under King's Landing again. Yeah, under King's Landing again. The sound effects! I think it's the same sound effects I put under King's Landing again. Yeah, under King's Landing again. The sound effects. I think it's the same sound effects I put on Jeff's bike trick. He's gonna... So are they in a water reservoir right now? what is if he opens that what does that mean i think it contaminates the water and then people die i think it lets the bug it lets all the bugs

out yeah i don't know it's like it's like the opposite of what bill gates is doing with mosquitoes. The shoelace has just attacked him. So the shoes are involved. The shoes are in. What's he doing with his arms, then? Wow! Oh, fuck. It'd be really great if this is where I realize what Walter Strider meant

10 minutes left what is off to the credits it's in the blue for real why is the computer moving is it computer moving?

Is it still moving? Where is... Pan to it. Never mind. Just kick him in the testes. Could you, like, change his suit profile? Yeah. Oh, like, hack his suit? Yeah, like, could you just go to mashed potato mode?

That felt very Looney Tunes. Oh, shit. Oh oh he's melting a bit just a bit just a little sear you're a cab driver why are you okay with this uh oh Uh oh. It sounded like a guess. Wasn't confident in his delivery.

Fucking stupid. So was she calling him a queen earlier? Is that what the joke was? I don't I don't know Oh no! Oh, they failed so quickly! Uh-oh. Everyone is just like, wait a second. What's gonna happen? Don't mosquitoes live for like a day? It's something short like that.

Yeah, it's like two days, I think. Is this a mosquito or a water strider at this point? It's a water strider. They said the name a bunch of times. Oh yeah, I forgot. They had a whole thing about it. Yeah, Walter Strider, not Moe's Skeleto. Could you imagine having a plot

to end the world that could be stopped by a shot glass? Or a fucking... Or a fly swatter. I would eat the bug. I would have bit it. Save the world. None of these people are attacking. They're not paid to, to be fair.

They just cleaned the snake pool like that. That's fair. Oh, he's back. Oh, shit's back! Oh shit. This sucks! They got that shot in the head and thought, it shouldn't last 90 seconds, we're gonna have to speed this up. I have a feeling I know what's gonna happen. happen

I Oh Good Lord Good lord. Why is this so brutal? There were a lot of nightmares after this. There's Walter White. Oh my god. You got emoted. The mummy! Ha ha ha ha ha!

... ... ... Oh, this is like the good guys show up now. This is what she was talking about. Now they got pelicases. He's got the same shitty fuckin' sideburns

Bob Bob maybe we should only watch movies that he's in. Bob movies? He can never be an undercover agent. That guy's role was to run in and punch Jackie Chan in the face. That was it.

Yeah. You wouldn't take that role? That sounds like a great. I hate all your movies. It's an honor to help. I hate your film. Oh, not another guy in the snake pit. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Do you guys remember what this is? Are we going to get the biker? If they pay off the biker gag. No! They are! Why? they are why that guy didn't even do anything in the first place

I mean he overreacted definitely but like yeah it was a very New York reaction though by the way, this cost the United States government about $250 million. Just this 18-second operation where he gets revenge on a bike messenger. Oh, Jesus. I'm glad Devlin made it.

I forgot that this was a thing. Nice beret. He's back. Oh, no. Why'd they do that? He's back! Oh no! Why'd they do that? Is that Jorge from Lost? Yeah, it was Hurley. What?

It's the homeless guy. I'm not even kidding. I think that was him. Yeah. It looked like him. Yeah. No. You know, it could have been Hurley.

I don't think it was him. Let's see if it's Jorge Garcia is in the tuxedo. Wasn't him. It wasn't him? Wasn't him. He was busy making big shot confessions of a campus bookie in 2002. So he was not available. I'm not surprised. It did look like him.

It did look like him. It did look like him. This movie's still going. He's an agent now? Yeah, that's how he can command so much of the government's might and money to ask a girl out on a date. That's a cute outfit

she's wearing. Bet it doesn't have a mashed potato mode. Ask her out, dickhead. Jesus. Yes. There you go. yes there you go I'm just here thinking about the skateboard bomb there should have been more of that do you think they

invent and then build a skateboard bomb or do you think they buy that from like evil like catalogs there's like an evil eBay yeah yeah yeah they see it's like an overstock.com for like... What the f... He's gonna dicker. This sucks. Did it used to just be called Tux? It was. It was originally just called Tux.

Wow, she can move. I like the idea that all of these this is like a 60 million dollar vehicle for a blooper reel Jackie Chan might be the most likable person on I know he always says that like the dialogue days are his least favorite He just wants to punch stuff Just cause He's never been confident in his English

But he's so naturally funny I know Did he just play the fuckstick? We should get Jackie Chan to voice a fuckstick that we could make. well that was a movie well there you go i just shot off the movie yeah absolutely eric's fucking done that that movie is so it's so long it's so long for an hour and a half it's a long night for an hour yeah that movie is like they packed the lord of the rings into an hour and 38 god damn uh yeah those those additional like 18

years didn't do anything for me oh man since it came out imagining 18 years ago you being so disappointed right now the most disappointed you ever you were so excited you pre-ordered it ready to go and the exact same feeling should we rate this film in some way or do we not care yeah it's uh you know rate it out of out of uh five tuxedos okay i give it two and a half Hooter Wings out of ten. I give it four Water Striders. I'm just

I'm gonna give it one Peter Stormer. Excellent. Nick or Eric? I mean, I think you guys really summed it up. I will give it.5 blooper reels because that didn't feel like a whole one. There you go.

I'll give it one deer pissing in a river. One deer piss. Nick's only contribution to the whole thing. I hope to God a regulation listener or comment lever makes a tuxedo poster

with all those ratings on it. Like a four-year consideration type thing. Well, we did it. We watched the movie together we did it how long did it take us to do this a couple hours no I mean like Jeff I didn't think that's what you were asking

I got where you were it mean you bud fucking idiot when was this idea presented It's me and you, bud. Oh, okay. Fucking idiots. When was this idea presented to when we made the fucking video? Did it take us two months, three months? No, no, no. I think it was a few weeks.

I think it was probably a little over a month. But now we know that we can do it. We know how to do it. We've got all the kinks worked out. So next time you decide to think of a movie you saw 13 years ago and you want to watch it again you let me know and i'll get it i'll get it ready to go i think that's great and can i can i just say i thank you guys for continuing to innovate i was just counting it up in my head this is the fourth kind of alternate uh shoulder sub uh bonus content we've made. The FFU.

We did the break show. Yeah, in the FFU. We've made the break show, right? We've done food review shows. We've done Apple reviews. We've done Andrew ask Andrew a bunch of sad questions about his life. And then this.

So we've done... Now we watch movies together. Four different kinds of innovative pieces of content. I'm just happy that this many already in the season four of this show and we're still coming up with new ideas so Pat you guys all the back congratulations I I would like to know was the last time someone watched the tuxedo and there's did we have to be no one's made content about the text who's making content about the taxi now but I do you think that was the first stream on HBO go that it got you can take that alarm somewhere

there's a light going off the Jackie Chan's house and he's very confused as to why it was installed 18 years ago nobody's hit play of the tuxedo since you bought it oh the goal of the golden water Strider on his desk just lit up. All right. Well, I think that should probably do it.

Let us know what you thought about that, unless you didn't like it. And if you didn't like it, that's fucking awesome. Just don't tell us. But if you did like it and you want us to do it again, let us know. Yeah, which movie you want next? Yeah, movie or TV show, pilot, reality show. You can say none if you want.

Yeah, none is an answer. None is an answer. But maybe you all want us to watch more Bob movies, or maybe you want us to watch more Danny Trejo content. We're down for whatever. I am always willing to take a ride back in time and hang out with Arthur Fonzarelli. Just saying.

You really want us to watch Happy Days? I watched a lot of Happy Days when I was a kid. I was of that era. Ta-ta. Bye now. Bye.