F**kface - Flipping Coins for Rubbish // Andrew Tries the Cosmic Crisp [81]

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about the Kevin Mccallister universe, Minor League Fan Jack, cleaning stuff up, elevator key mishaps, and Andrew eats a Cosmic Crisp (twice?) Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Go to hellofresh.com slash FACE14 and use code FACE14 to get 14 free meals plus three free gifts. Thank you so much. Have a great day. This is a Rooster Teeth production. I would love to see if a tortilla in Canada tastes similar to a tortilla in Texas. Or if they are the exact same thing or two wildly different things. Like when Gavin and I had Mexican food in Norway.

I don't even know how to describe it. Wasn't that the Netherlands? Yeah, I'm sorry. The Netherlands. It was the Netherlands. It was in Breda, Netherlands. I don't think I've been to Norway. I don't think I have either, actually. But if I do go, it's going to be with you, and it's going to be to eat Mexican food.

Weren't we going to do a whole series about bad Mexican food called Mexicant where we travel? We were going to call it Mexicant or the worst Mexican restaurants on earth. That would be up there. It's definitely my top three worst

Mexican food. It's just a lot of shitting, which is this show. I feel like the core of that show is just this show. It's a lot of Jeff sh which is this show i feel like the core of that show is just a show it's a lot of jeff shitting in unfortunate ways yeah we i got a burrito at that place because it's like you gotta like what's safer than a burrito not much right uh and it had chickpeas in it i remember that it's very confused by that and i want to say it is a burrito with chickpeas which don't exist in burrito form ever and i want to say it had celery as well it was fucking burrito with chickpeas which don't exist in burrito form ever and I want to say it had celery as well. It was fucking bizarre.

You think a burrito is safer than a quesadilla? I would say the quesadilla is safer. I would say the quesadilla is the safest Mexican food. I would say quesadilla is safer but I don't think it's as universally available. Really? Yeah, I don't think they've ever

heard of a quesadilla in the Netherlands. No, I don't think it was on the menu. Yeah, I don't think they've ever heard of a quesadilla in the Netherlands. No, I don't think so. Huh. That's interesting. Have you ever wondered what is the best restaurant that a different country has of a different country's cuisine? Like, what's the best Italian restaurant in China? Right, right. Or like how the Indian food in London is so

fucking good in my experience really what would be the very best of the yeah or like the Thai food in Australia oh my god so good there I remember Anthony Bourdain said that like the worst place to get a place's staple food is that place like the

Philadelphia is the worst place to get a cheesesteak like it's just shitty like the theiriladelphia is the worst place to get a cheese steak like it's just shitty like the their surrounding areas that are way better type deal i don't know italian food in italy is pretty damn great yeah i feel like that's a tough one i'm not i'm not i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm comfortable taking on the philly cheese steak i'm not gonna take on italian food as a whole in italy that's too big i don't't know, man. The best Philly cheesesteaks I've ever had have definitely come from Philly. Where have you gotten Philly cheesesteaks from outside of Philly? Is this something you've explored?

Quiz notes? I mean, I'm 46, so probably like only 100,000 times throughout my life. I would say a Philly cheesesteak's been more of a staple to my life than a quesadilla. Really? Oh, I would not disagree. I don't think I've ever had a Philly cheesesteak. I more of a staple to my life than a quesadilla. Really? Well, I would... Nah, I disagree. I don't think I've ever had a Philly cheesesteak. I've had a lot of quesadillas. I like that you disagreed with Jeff's own experience.

Yeah, I did. Well, no, he said... I thought he was making a general opinion on, like, what is more... what is wider. I thought he was talking about his actual life where the Philly cheesesteak was the biggest staple. You're like, I disagree.

I disagree. Well, there are some times you know things and you don't even know you know them. That's been a thing that's happened recently. I don't know if we want to go into that story. Gavin and I were talking about a thing, and I knew a piece of information that I didn't know that I knew, and I accidentally said the thing i revealed we had the most bizarrely circular conversation that ended up with us just like leaving the party chat and uh separate ways real quick hello and welcome to another episode

of the face podcast my name is jeff ramsey with me as always uh andrew pantin and gavin free in that order uh take it away circular conversations we were well why don't we let's open this with the same conversation we started with gavin i don't know if you've had this talk have you had this talk with jeff have you asked him this piece of trivia well no it's not on camera he hasn't but you have to go back a little bit further than that because you just randomly asked me do you have any movie recommendations okay so i thought well you've seen a lot of you've seen a lot of stuff so i thought what is something like what's a movie that i like that maybe not a lot of people i know have seen and i came up with a fish called wonder which i haven't movie haven't seen good movie good sequel heavenly creatures as well fierce creatures the uh

fierce creatures yeah that got us into the conversation of the man the legend uh kevin klein i was saying like i don't i what was my point i think it was like i don't see him in anything anymore like i don't feel like yeah i don't feel like i just see him in things and i'm sure he's in a lot yeah he i feel like he he's known for just turning down so much stuff oh really but i think that i think i mean the most recent stuff he's in is um he's mr fish odor in bob's burgers yes um which is current but then i was telling andrew about this weird piece of trivia that i once read but i actually misquoted i but you know it's along the same lines in that okay what i said to to Andrew was that he is one of the few actors

who has played two different roles in the same movie where at one point in the movie, one character has to impersonate the other. Did that connect with you, Jeff? Because I was very confused by this originally. I didn't understand the piece of trivia. He's playing two different characters in a movie, and one of the characters has to impersonate

the other character that he's impersonating. Yeah, and I was pulling from Wild Wild West, where he plays the guy, and then he also plays the president, and then at some point, his character impersonates the president. And then I was also thinking of Fierce Creatures, where he plays the Australian billionaire Rod

McCain and also he plays his son Vince McCain and at one point in the movie he Vince McCain has to pretend to be Rod McCain I was like how many times has this guy done this but that wasn't even the interesting part of the trivia that was wrong he is one of the few actors who has played a character and the president where the other character impersonates the president in two different movies so i was just thinking it was those two movies but it was actually specifically the president because in the in a movie called dave yeah he was in dave he also played himself and the president and then impersonate the president so i was just like

how many times has this guy played two characters where one character impersonates the other it's like a really specific thing who else has done that it two characters where one character in person is the other? It's like a really specific thing. Who else has done that? It's a very special skill he has. It is. It is a weird thing to be known for. So I pondered for a little bit and I was thinking about it. And then I told Gavin Peter Stormare did it in a movie called Splice.

Played two characters. One of those characters pretended to be another character. Gavin was impressed by this because I don't think he had ever heard anyone reply with an actual answer to it, to which I then revealed that I made all of that up because Peter Stormare has a career that you can't really fully track. Splice is just a movie that I didn't think Gavin would have seen

that was also kind of obscure. I just lied about it. I made up this fact. And I was living, because I was listening to him go on about this movie for, you know, a few minutes while we're playing Halo. And I was like, oh, interesting, you know, thinking like, maybe I wanna check that out. And then eventually he's just like, yeah, I was just lying. I just made it up. I couldn't think of... I couldn't think of one.

And it was a whole, it was a whole issue. So then, do we jump forward now to later? Completely different conversation. Probably over an hour later. An hour had passed. I was talking about how in last week's podcast, I flubbed my Chris where I said Chris Rock instead of Chris Tucker. And then we were talking. And then you were talking to me about Chris Rock movies. I know I was talking to you about Jackie. We were ranking Jackie Chan sidekicks.

Well, that was the conversation. Yes. Who is like the greatest Jackie Chan sidekick of all time I feel like Chris Tucker probably but he's had some great sidekicks to then I then started talking I started talking about a movie called Bad Company uh which I was like ah that kind of feels like it should have been a Jackie Chan movie John and are you familiar with Bad Company Jeff I don't know. Are you familiar with Bad Company, Jeff? I don't think so. It is an early Bell 2000s Chris Rock action comedy with Chris Rock and Anthony Hopkins, where Chris Rock plays a secret agent who is deep undercover, dies, and then they recruit his twin brother, who is completely unrelated, like doesn't he's kind of like a street hustler in my memory. Could be wrong, but he's not like a a street hustler in my memory could be wrong

but he's not like a trained agent to then take over the role of his brother who is undercover so they can continue their operation i said all of this it was telling me this and i was like wait so you're saying chris rock plays two characters and then one character impersonates the other and i i had accidentally given the answer to the piece of trivia. I had an answer. I just didn't know I had it. I knew it, but I didn't know I knew it.

And that took us to the next stage of this. We thought that was pretty funny. Accidental full circle. I look up the movie Bad Company on IMDb. Third billed actor, Peter Stormare. What are the freaking chances that he accidentally provides the answer to the question and in his answer is the same bullshit answer from before.

We were just like, this is just too creepy. It's gone around and with all the halo in between, it just felt mental. We just had to like come offline. What the hell just happened? That kind of thing happens way too many fucking times with all the halo in between it just felt mental we just had to like come offline be like what the hell just happened that's that kind of thing happens way too many fucking times to be coincidence that's really weird it was weird and it has been a problem where ever since i have lied about peter storm air peter storm air is following me everything i want turns out uh he's in the tuxedo

that's the thing he's in he's in that that as well. I was playing Fast and Furious last night, the video game, the most recent video game that came out. Fucking Peter Stormare is the main villain. He's just in it. He's just showing up left and right in my life now. I can't avoid Peter Stormare, such that I made a random fake fact about. He's following me. Hey, you know what? I have one.

Oh, what's yours? Okay. Why did you say it like that? No have one. Ooh, what's yours? Okay. Why did you say it like that? No, no, like I'm excited. No, no, you're excited. No, no, no, no, no. That was like, ooh. That was like, ooh.

Like, what's yours? Because I eventually came up with one. No, that was enthusiasm. Wait, who went, ooh? Gavin did. Andrew, you seemed very enthusiastic. Okay, I'm sorry. I misunderstood.

I thought you misunderstood. Yeah, no, no, no. No, you went, oh, go for it. And Gavin goes, ooh. I think I was sorry. I misunderstood. I thought you misunderstood. Yeah, no, no, no, no, you went. Oh, go for it. I think I was just like, I opened my mouth and Gavin goes, they were unrelated. They were unrelated. It's like you're like my first two wives, buddy. Okay, here we go. In the movie Beer Fest, the guy that plays Landfill, I believe he dies by drinking a vat of beer to save all their lives or something. And then, so that guy, he's the Farva from Starship Troopers, or not Starship Troopers,

from Super Troopers. Starship Troopers, Super Troopers would be a great mashup, by the way. I'd love to see it. Yeah, Starship Super Troopers, whatever it is. Anyway, that guy Landfill, he he fucking dies i think by drinking a like a vat of beer and then his cousin shows up gil who happens to look exactly like him for the funeral and then says i'd like to join your group and for the rest of the movie in his honor will you just call me landfill and they're like absolutely so he he plays the character who dies, whose identical twin cousin shows up and plays him.

Also, in Twin Peaks, I'm pretty sure Cheryl Lee plays herself a 35 different fucking ways, including impersonating. Was the cousin Maddie or something plays Laura Palmer at some point? Maddie Palmer. Yeah, so Cheryl Lee plays Laura Palmer. Then she plays Maddie Palmer, her cousin, who shows up, who then Lee plays Laura Palmer, then she plays Maddie Palmer, her cousin,

who shows up, who then impersonates Laura Palmer to help try to solve the mystery of who killed Laura Palmer. So it's been done a lot. Yeah, they came up with Parent Trap as well. There's a lot of times it's been done, but I don't think anyone else has done it twice, and also the president. It's one of my favorite things now

to just text Gavin random movies in which it occurs because he said it like i don't think it has ever happened a single time outside of this like never mind twice it's never happened once oceans 12 was mine last night julia roberts character in oceans 12 then also julia roberts the celebrity exists and part of the movie is julia roberts the character impersonating Julia Roberts the actor. Yeah but how would that even work because surely her entire life she must have thought damn I look like Julia Roberts. Oh my god

dude. I just watched a movie I just watched a movie that is the whole fucking, this is the whole point of it. Have you guys seen the Princess Switch with Vanessa Hudgens on Netflix? I was watching Christmas movies I was watching the movies. I was watching the princess switch. Not the best movie

in the world, but the whole point of it is she's like a baker from Chicago who goes to this fake-ass country to fill in a baking competition, meets a princess who nobody's ever seen. They look exactly alike each other, so they switch places so the princess can for some reason

live in the normal world but then they have to impersonate each other again and then there's a sequel where they have to re-impersonate each other and then another one where there's a fucking cousin that shows up and there's three of them that are all impersonating each other this might be the most overused plot device in the history of plot devices it sounds like it i don't this doesn't seem like this is just a thing that occurs and and not like an actual piece of trivia it's like it's like here's a trivia fact it rained here can you name another place in which it has rained i don't know if you can come up with it like it's just it happens yeah i will say jeff if you're looking for another princess movie, princess protection program.

Great movie. Great princess movie. What's that on? Great. It's Disney Plus. It's a Disney original channel. Cousin Greg is in it. A teenage cousin Greg from Succession.

Very good. Oh, my God, dude. Cousin Greg has been phenomenal this season on Succession. By the way, speaking of movies, you know, I don't watch them, but I did recently. I fell off my don't watch in movies horse and I watched one and it was really fucking good. What did you watch? I watched Home Sweet. See, there he goes again.

I watched Home Sweet Home Alone with Ellie Kemper and Rob Delaney. It was really fucking good. Yeah, the Home Alone sequel. Interesting. Or reboot, whatever you want to call it. Wait, what? It was great. It's a new Home Alone?

You didn't know that there was a new Home Alone? No. Yeah, it's on Disney+. I was a little British kid, Gavin. Is Peter Stormare in it? No, he's not. It feels like if it came out in 2007, he would have been.

Peter Stormare isn't in it, but Pete Holmes is, who is in every way a lesser version of that other man. You liked it? Because I feel like literally every other opinion I've heard about that movie is it's the worst film that's ever been made. That's ridiculous. It's not.

I mean, you're never going to touch the first two, but it was good. It was heartfelt. It was funny. There was some legitimately funny stuff. Kenan Thompson's in it. Not as funny as the first. Kenan Thompson's okay in it. He plays like a real estate agent. Chris Parnell. I wish he was

in it more. Chris Parnell, barely in it. Kenan Thompson's in it a little bit more. I wish to God, because Kenan's such a funny dude. I wish they would have used him more, but still. It's good, man. So is it in the same universe as someone related to Kevin McAllister? Yes, it is in the Kevin McAllister universe.

Really? I don't want to spoil cameos and stuff, but there are definite overt cameos that make sense in the context of the film, and there are characters that appear. I'm going to watch this movie. I'm also going to watch this. Maybe next time you record, we'll have opinions. I'm only one in two. Great movies movies fantastic movies great movies i'm i'm excited to hear that this is in the mccallister universe because in the trailer the mcu and the

yes um it looked like they took a bunch of the gags from the first and like a few of the other movies and just put them all into one thing so I'm happy that it's it's a continuation in some way I think there's also another Home Alone coming out with Ryan Reynolds at some point oh really they announced that but it's like an adult like stuck at home and high but dealing with robbers but I could be misremembering that that could have been a fever dream i'll say this they did something very smart in the movie um and i don't think it's spoiling too much but uh the the the i don't think the kid like it's hard to find another macaulay culkin right like he was a he was perfect for that role absolutely and

i really hard for anybody to live up to that role. And so they make it. It's less focused on the kid and more a little bit more focused on the people breaking in to the house. And I think that was a very smart choice. I like it. I will check that out. We're going to watch another movie as well. Your movie streak is far from done.

I cannot wait for us to record our tuxedo watch, which at some point will happen. Hopefully soon. Very excited. We're going to put it up, right? Yeah, no, absolutely. Oh, I'm back. Gavin was gone.

You were gone. I was, my thing freaked out for a second. Were you talking about tuxedo? Yes, I was saying that we were going to do a thing for it. I'm excited for it. Adding to Jeff's movie list. Well, Henry got a new football and he loves it. Speaking of stuff we were going to do a thing for it. I'm excited for it. Adding to Jeff's movie list. Henry got a new football, and he loves it.

Speaking of stuff we're going to do, people loving the next time on F*** Face from minor league fan Jack. Yeah. Oh. Did a great job. I ran into him today at work. Congratulated him. He did a really good job.

I think we should do it every week. Okay. Sure. We can do it. We'll see how long that lasts. It'll be until we stop being one ahead. Yeah. It'll go on the pile of forgotten comedy like The Smashing Sportsman and Ping Pong Balls and who knows whatever.

Fucking baskets. No, I did the baskets as part of the redemption year. How dare you throw that in as an unsolved or unresolved issue of our podcast what is your potential uh redemption year redo andrew that you mentioned i heard i heard about the jack so i i was aware that the jack thing had happened i'd seen some comments about it or at least i thought i did and so i was like oh i'll listen to it so i assumed it would be and we've had several talks about this there's no excuse to this but i didn't know where it was i assumed it would be at the start of the episode so i listened to the beginning of the episode and as it's this is known i don't listen to our show because i hate myself

too much to do so anything i want to listen to our show while we're making it no yeah that's true that's true i i so i watched the beginning of it or listened to it, and it's not there, so I'm like, okay, I'll comb to the end, go to the end of it. It's not there as well. I don't know where it is. It's definitely in there somewhere. But on top of that, I didn't know we had outro music. That blew my mind.

That was genuinely shocking last night to hear outro music come in. I was surprised. I learned last night that this show has outro music. Same as the intro music, but it's's there didn't know it was there we've done this 81 times yeah i was trying to figure out what episode it was this is 81 we're recording 81 yeah it took 81 times for me to realize that there's an outro we do an outro song and we fade out and then i guess it's a gag sometimes it's great this is a good job on the edit. Nick's a great editor. And sometimes the outro music

will stop in the middle if we for some reason don't end it or just continue. I think that's maybe what happened in that episode, which is why I missed the Jack thing. Is that correct? That it looked like we're going to end and it goes to the Jack and then we continue beyond the Jack? Nick wanted to put the Jack thing at the moment

where we discussed it this time. Okay. And then going put the jack thing at the moment where we discussed it this time okay and then going forward it'll be at the end i think okay well i'll find the jack at some point i'm excited a few minutes from now it's an hour it's an hour and seven minutes in i think okay well there we thank you that that results awesome have we explained what we're talking about at any point during this conversation uh Well, we're just assuming that everyone who's listened to this has listened to that one as well. We should recap it. So every week, we're going to try and get Jack to read the Discord chat that happens while we record. And then we have Jack figure out what we talked about and then put that recording of Jack explaining it on the previous episode at the

end as a little teaser. Can I do some more more cleanup work right here? Like, just call something out because I don't feel like I feel like we missed doing this last time. And I don't know if this will be. Jeffrey, you're going to post your your Apple Apple van video. Is that going to go up anywhere? Oh, did we not post that?

I don't know. I don't think that episode's out yet. That episode hasn't come out yet. Oh, that episode hasn't come out yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah, it'll be on... I'll have it put up on the Instagram. Okay. By Apple video, you mean

me all drugged up? You excitedly taking a photo of an Apple van. I've been ever since... Yeah, in the car. Yeah, yeah. After my colonoscopy. For the last, like, five days, I've been walking around my place just going apples i'm gonna text my friends it just makes me laugh it's a great it's one of the funniest videos i've seen in a long time i meant to bring it up at the time where people could see it we didn't do that we just brushed past it so if we're calling things out from the past explaining

things go to the instagram to see that great video yeah see the me it was right after my colonoscopy uh I have zero memory of this uh it's a pretty short video about a minute long uh so while we're cleaning stuff up I have a couple things I wanted to go over the real brief but while we're cleaning stuff up and because it's probably still December uh at this point I feel like we need to mention there is a plethora of face related merchandise that you can buy that is the perfect stocking stuffer or a gag gift or sincere gift or fuck you gift i don't really care what you do with it but uh just get oh get it just in time for january as eric says yeah uh b11 do you do this every year i'm talking to you regular regulation listener i'm talking to you comment lever you do this every year you wait till the to you, regulation listener. I'm talking to you, comment leaver.

You do this every year. You wait till the last second. And then you try to buy a gift. And you buy it today on a website. And then they tell you that it doesn't ship till fucking March. So now you're like, I guess I'm sending, I guess I'm getting my girlfriend a picture of this thing for Christmas. Because I'm not going to have it till March. Oh, also, I can't fucking cancel the order for some reason.

Because they're like, fuck you, buddy. The option to do that's the cancel button stuck on a fucking boat from china to suck my dick so i can't fucking cancel it so i guess in march my girlfriend's gonna get her christmas gift anyway don't be like me or be like you buy it now 11 and a half months early you'll be ready for next year it sounds like thank me later it does thank me later yeah it's sort of the opposite of it, right? Because you'd buy the Christmas gift now, and I'd send it to you in August. I think it's how thank me later would work. You can't schedule in advance.

How's that different to getting it in March? What are you saying? Oh. I think thank me later, you don't know when you're getting it, right? Yeah. That's the beauty. Exactly. There's no control to it.

It's a surprise. Sorry, I was not listening. I was doing my role. I was thinking about Jack in the podcast. Your ears are shut for like 50% of every podcast. Honestly, that's not true. I listen to way more than I'd say a solid 90%. You're going to fucking talk about not listening

and interrupt me in the middle of me talking. You're gonna be like, you don't listen 90% of the time and just start talking over me in the middle of me talking. That's what you're gonna do. You're gonna hold this position as explaining why I wasn't listening while you just decided that it wasn't worth listening to and started talking over me. I'm trying to sneak in. There's no sneaking it in. I'm sneak in. There's no sneaking it in. I'm talking loudly. There's no sneaking. Alright, go ahead.

No, you go ahead. You have the floor. It's very important. You need to say, go ahead. No, you do it. No, you go. You go, Gavin. The floor is yours. I've stepped out of the way. Continue. I'll just be silent the whole show. No, I wouldn't do that

Because I need to talk about a thing You know what, I am going to take the floor, Gavin The reason why I wasn't listening Is because we just talked about the Apple Van I have a Cosmic Crisp on my desk I haven't eaten it yet, haven't tried it yet I have had it For like five days

It has been so hard not to eat any of these delicious apples. It's been in my mind constantly. I'm just staring at it. I'm excited to try this. Are you going to have it today or are you going to wait 361 more days? No, I'm going to have it today. I have a whole bag of them, Gavin. So I'm going to save one in the fridge because we're going to do the year thing.

Yeah, do we, uh, Gav, do you have any Cosmic Krisps right now? No. I don't either. I need to get one. We'll put them in there. I put one on my desk at work if you didn't glue it to something or... Are we recording next week like normal? Is everybody in town recording like normal? I will be around.

I'll be back. Let's put our apples in the fridge next week. Okay, but Andrew, I want you, but we'll put our apples in, like, the fridge year will begin next week. Andrew, I want to hear you eat'll put our apples in, like the fridge year will begin next week. Andrew, I want to hear you eat this thing. I don't want to hear it. I was reading some comments today from not regulation

listeners, obviously comment leavers, who were mentioning how much they love it when we eat on camera. However, I think we should end on it, like a big thing. What? Never mind. He's just done it again, hasn't he? It was in his gullet while you were explaining it. He meant salad cream, the fucking answer.

No. His mouth open, ears closed at all times. That was your... No, that was your fault. You said... You said you wanted me to do it, and you wanted it to be loud. So I took a big bite into the microphone this is a delicious apple i don't know eric has a problem with what just happened eric

this is a great apple i don't understand i you're i want i want you to be able to review the apple and everything i don't understand whose fault is this oh it's just fault because he said i want you to his exact words were i want you to eat the apple And I want it to be loud, so I immediately accommodated his request. Hey, did you guys hear that at all when he took a bite? Did you guys hear a bite did you guys hear a bite? Were you just surprised when you were chewing? Okay, cool. Just make it sure thank you What people said about us eating on mic.

They love it. More, more, please. Somebody was like, I swear to God, every time I tune into an RT podcast, no matter what it is, somebody's eating and it's driving and they hated it. And I just thought that was funny. Talking about food a lot. This is a tart. Wait, well, listen, we're talking.

One of the things I wanted to do was talk about a little bit more food but right now i i really think andrew should just go this is a tart apple this is a tart apple this is a pretty apple this is a big apple very crisp not chewy sweet this is a very good apple how juicy is it uh i wouldn't i i wouldn't say it's too juicy. I'd say it's pretty average on the juice scale. Was your guys' apple juicy? Yeah, I juiced it with my shorts. Yeah, I was surprised at how juicy it was.

I thought that was one of the defining characteristics of it, was the juice quotient. Mine's not very juicy. It was crisp. There was a crispness to it. It bit really well. It wasn't chewy. I was a crispness to it. It bit really well. It wasn't chewy. I hate a chewy apple.

I hate when it's little. It bit well. There's a bite test, too. There's a bite feel to apples, Gavin. It bit well. It broke away from the core in a way that was satisfying and not mushy. You hate a mushy app. I personally, I fucking can't stand a mushy app.

What's your sticker look like? What's your code? Um, my... I personally I fucking can't stand a mushy app. What's your sticker look like what's your code um my? You didn't eat the stick of it. No Okay, well we can review the apple at the end of the show You in the wrong. What are you doing? What's happened? You ate the wrong apple. It? What's happened? I? Do you eat the wrong apple? Uh it's a I'm eating a pink lady apparently Wait no I have a cousin crisp I must I put there must have been a pink lady amongst the pile of the crisps, and it was in the bag.

I do have a cosmic crisp, though, that I haven't been into. We can make that be the finale, like you said, Jeff. Everything works out. There was an apple switcheroo. It was. I'll take a photo of my apple. Hey, now we know a couple of things, right? We know.

We got the Pink Lady review. We know Pink Lady is among Andrew's favorite apples because it was even in the house. Yep. He's revealed two of his favorites. Yeah. And we can have it as a baseline to compare his reaction to the Cosmic Crisp. And by the way, I'm glad it wasn't a Cosmic Crisp because I was fucking confused when you said it wasn't juicy.

Because that felt like a very different apple than what we had. I am stunned right now. How did you do... You saw what the Cosmic Crisp looked like. They look similar. I just, I went in, I grabbed a bag of apples from my fridge and there's a pink lady.

I don't know how many... I need to check if that's the only... Are you saying that was... All of your apples are mixed together or did you accidentally's a pink lady i don't know how many i need to check are you saying that was all of your apples are mixed together or did you accidentally buy a pink lady amongst the cosmic no no no no no no i think i accidentally bought a pink lady amongst the cosmic crisps i think there must have been a pink i'd somehow grabbed the pink lady it must have been like you stole a pink lady or i paid or you paid cosmic crisp yeah i think i paid cosmic crisp pricing for a pink lady or i paid or you paid cosmic crisp yeah i think i paid cosmic crisp pricing for a pink lady gonna mess up their stock how do i take a photo that now there are apple stocks off by one yeah you how did that happen i'm still blown away that you were eating a different

also thank god we asked about the sticker. Otherwise, we'd never know. You'd be living a lie for the rest of your life. Imagine if he was eating 100% cocoa. He's like, oh, sorry, I was eating ice cream. I didn't... We would have eventually learned when I flipped the apple. I just bit into the apple on the opposite of the sticker side. You just are so keen to start eating before we're ready that you didn't even look at the apple.

So, see, that half of the apple, and I flipped it over, and it's just pink late. Oh yeah, 41.30? What the fuck? Gavin, it would be like if we found out all these years that he's hated bananas, he was eating lemons. And he's like, what? They're both yellow. They're essentially the same thing. If we didn't make the joke about which batch number he had, he would never have known.

He would have just had a pink bite. When I flipped the apple, I think I would have noticed, but it's just, when would I have flipped the apple? Eric's commenting about my large bites. I was trying to make noise. I wanted noise for the... Jeff wanted it loud. I was trying to make the loudest crunch I could make.

Well, you made something, alright. I want a noise for the Jeff wanted it loud. I was trying to make the loudest crunch I could make Okay, well you You made something all right? Jesus, okay, well you got the car. I will have the cosmic crisp later. I guess it's the finale like Jeff wants We'll just do it Jeff The other one later, it's fine. Oh Christ oh my god Oh, Christ. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Hey, thank you so much for listening to the show. I hope you're enjoying this episode.

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And I mean that in a good way. I realize that sounded biting, but that's not how I mean it. And she also listens. And I love it. I'm eating my burnt Pop-Tart off of a Christmas plate right now. And I'm joyous to be doing so. Anyway, so we go and we load up the two carts full of Tupperwares, full of fucking Rubbermaid bins, full of ornaments and shit. And I push out the elevator, go out the sliding,

like the opening, you know, double open doors. And I'm putting stuff in the car. And I realize she's not behind me. And I'm putting stuff in the truck, the car. And I, I realized she's not behind me. And I turn around and she's still not behind me. And I think that's weird. We were in the elevator together. So I run back inside and she's just like standing in the middle of the elevator, half out with like the cart half in and half out bent over.

And the doors just keep like hitting the fucking cart and her a little bit. And she's just like, I thought she was confused or nauseous or like maybe she'd thrown up or like i don't know what was going on and but her body language is not good so i run over there and i'm like dude what's up what's going on what's wrong and she goes uh uh i don't know what to do and i'm like oh fuck what did her eyeball pop out or like jesus this sounds bad like is she having palpitations and she's like i don't know what to do. And I'm like, oh fuck, what's, did her eyeball pop out or like, Jesus, this sounds bad. Like, is she having palpitations? And she's like,

I don't know, I don't know how it happened. I don't, I don't know what to do. Uh, and she's like panicking and I'm like, well,

what happened? And she goes, my keys were on the, on the Rubbermaid and, and, and when I, when I,

when I was pushing out the, the door clipped it and they fell and I think they fell down the elevator shaft and I'm like, that's impossible. And so we move out and we look.

And sure enough, she dropped her car and house and everything. Off that Rubbermaid, they went straight down the elevator into the abyss at 1030 at night, the night before Thanksgiving. And is this one of those storage facilities where there's no staff? Well, there's certainly no staff there at 10 o'clock at night, and there's certainly not going to be a staff there during the holidays. Yeah, it was dead-ass empty. So we were able to get in her car with the... I hadn't opened the back door yet.

We were able to get in her car with her phone. She could unlock the car with her phone, and then she had to Uber home, get my car, I hadn't opened the back door yet. We were able to get in her car with her phone. She could unlock the car with her phone. And then we had to Uber home, get my car, come back and finish it. Or get extra keys, come back. She didn't get her fucking car keys back until Sunday. They had to go in and perform a procedure

at the elevator to fucking block it off with two people and to wait for a dude to come in on Sunday to do it. She got her fucking keys back and I guess they had been sitting in water the entire time. I have been holding in a laugh since that moment. Watching the fucking...

It's been the hardest... I have been such a supportive guy, such a supportive boyfriend. I've been such a supportive guy, such a supportive boyfriend. I haven't made a joke or laughed about it or even snickered. I've just been very conciliatory, very calm and understanding.

This did not go well. She was not happy. But oh my God, is it funny. That's incredible. That's my little story. Why don't they have a nice little catchment trough that's directly under the doors that just mails it out to you?

I know. Because I feel like I know so many people who have dropped stuff straight down between the floors. That's what I was telling her. I was like, I bet this happens all the time. Like, they probably are like jumping to action because they're like, eh, it happens twice a week. Your brain went catchmentroft.

Mine went long sticks with magnets on them. That's what I want. Just magnet up. That's just, like, fun. You gotta shove it in the hole. You don't want the people to have to do work. No, it's fun. It's not fun. It's fun when it's work. I've said that the opposite of what I wanted to say. When it's

fun, it isn't work. That's just a game. what i wanted to say when it's fun it isn't work that's just a game and you can maybe get somebody else's stuff you don't know what's down there i don't know i feel like i'd feel iffy like pissing about between you know the the floors like what if what if the lift drops and resident evil is you or something no or mission impossible one well maybe hmm yeah throw a camera yeah that was on the top like the reverse of a mission impossible i guess i guess not what's one so mission impossible is one where somebody gets killed at the top of an elevator what's i think the uh the like catchment breaks uh go through his face as he's looking up at them yes they do but that's a death at the top what is the death

at the bottom can you think of a movie or something? I feel like it's harder to think of being crushed by an elevator than it is. I've seen some YouTube videos, but I can't think of any movies. What do you mean by that? Like you've seen it happen in real life on YouTube? Yeah. Oh, that's terrible. No, I'm not.

Yeah, no. People getting squashed like a little like a drunk person like opening up the door and there's nothing there and they just fall through.

It happens in Oz, but I can't think of a movie where it happens. I can't think of a scene and it must have. It must have

happened. I can think of scenes where like people have fallen with the elevator, but never below the elevator. Oh here. We go Guy falls down and out okay. Let's look at this Open this link up because I there's a movie called 12 rounds with John Cena

And he's trying to hold a guy up and he can't he can't lift him and he falls with the elevator and the guy dies But that's not being below it. Oh this guy has gone on this whole spree about I'm thinking of a movie where a guy falls down an elevator shaft. The first comment says, I think it's marked for death with Steven Seagal. What? Steven Seagal. Yeah.

Oh, sorry. Steven Seagal. My favorite. Steven Seagal. And then the link to the seed. And the guy who wrote the post said, that's it. Turns out it wasn't an elevator shaft.

What? What? That's somehow more disappointing than my resolution of clicking the video link and being told video content from fox has blocked it on copyright grounds unavailable so i can't see either wait yeah screw face crucifixion what does that mean is that what the video is called i already clicked away doesn't sound like a good time. I don't think, yeah, I can think of so many ways in which people have died

in elevators that aren't related to being below it. I got someone falling down a shaft. I got Final Destination 2 getting your head cut off in the elevator.

Can't think anything below it. I would say it's rarer than a person impersonating a character they're playing in a movie as they're being there. Yeah, when one actor has to impersonate another because the original one got squashed by a lift.

Has that never happened to James Bond? That feels like a thing that would have happened at some point in James Bond to somebody. What, someone impersonated someone else? Yeah, no, someone getting fucking crushed by a lift. That's probably happened. Yeah, I'd assume it exists. That's probably happened. Yeah, I'd assume

it exists. It's somewhere. Well, thank God it didn't happen on Sunday, I'll tell you that. So that was what, the night before Thanksgiving? Jeff? Yeah. Like the worst time going into a holiday. What's your question, Eric?

I wanted to know specifically if Andrew calls it a lift or an elevator. I don't know where British English stops and starts in Canada. Oh, yeah, it's definitely an elevator. OK, if it was just Gavin and I, though, I think I'd say lift. But is that just for my benefit? Yeah, just for you, because I know how you like your language. I know how you speak.

But if we were in a group, we're in a group setting, I would say elevator. Well, Gavin, let me ask you a question if it was just you and Andrew you know how he speaks would you say elevator to make him comfortable yeah okay when I'm here it's like oh could you take out the trash

I would never say that on my own I'm just glad to see it goes both ways well no we can't that doesn't work we're just saying it in a way in which we don't normally say it to the other person if I'm calling it a lift and you're calling it an elevator well then I just feel like we're both

just like what are we doing at that point there needs to be it can't go both ways I'll tell you what you're doing he's being British and you're being Canadian it's gonna be give and take both ways. No, it just has to be one way or else then what's the point

of changing the word? Who do you want to do with the heavy lifting then? I don't really care. We can flip a coin. It just can't go both ways. It has to be only one way. I think it's the ultimate sign

of respect to go both ways. I just feel like we're both just saying things we wouldn't normally say at that point. And like, what are we doing? Yeah, Eric has a good suggestion. Flip a coin every time we hang out, and then we'll and that will determine who takes over all

of the politeness. Okay. I like that. Yeah. Or what if you pick words like lift an elevator and we flip a coin now, and then whichever way it goes, that's just how we have to use that word forever. Forever? Yeah, or whatever.

Like in the context of any of us hanging out from now until perpetuity, we'd have to say elevator. Do you want to just pick one word right now and I can flip a coin? And heads, you say it one way and tails, you say it the other way? You just pick one word. Can we do trash and rubbish? Sure. Gavin, do you want trash or rubbish to be heads?

Let's put rubbish on tails. Rubbish is tails. Trash is heads. The coin is flipping. What? I don't know if I can adopt rubbish. Why? I just don't.

That one's off the table. I don't think I can be a rubbish guy. So your conciliatory nature has a limit limit it does and no it absolutely does there's certain because there's another one uh edge ways edge wise i've never understood edge wise what does that mean i don't know what it means but it's it's just i can't be a ways person i've been a wise person too long i can't make that that change. Jeff, I assume you're also edge-wise. I'm edge-wise. What does that mean?

The dictionary definition, with the edge uppermost or toward the viewer. What? That's the definition. It's an adverb. With the edge uppermost or toward the viewer. I always heard, like, I can't get a word in edge-ways. Like, I can't even squeeze a word in, like, a different way. You say edge-wise. No, I didn't get a word in edgewise. What does that mean?

How is it wise? Like, imagine saying, I can't get a word in sideways, but you say sidewise. What does that mean? Well, the phrase, to get a word in edgewise, means to contribute to a conversation with difficulty because the other speaker talks almost without a pause.

Well, yeah, that's what edgeways means. That's what edgewise means. But that's what edgeways means, is what I'm saying. Is it just like a miscommunication across the ocean? Yeah, I feel like it's, I couldn't care less, I could care less.

Like, people are just misusing... What does this say here, Eric? No, Nick wrote, definition of edgewise, one, sideways. even the definition is ways also uh i googled edgeways and it's not a word it doesn't come up it's two words edgewise is one word edgeways this is so dumb edgeways isn't in there that That's not a phrase. You made it up.

No one on Earth says Eswage. Edgeways. Eswage. Eswage. Google has... Edgewaste is what Google thinks I'm saying. It's not a word. I'm really glad I didn't just go with rubbish.

I'm so glad. What's weird about my rubbish rules is edgeways edgeways it makes think about it that makes way more sense it does I understand what he's saying unfortunately google doesn't what do you mean

no I don't think you know what you're googling I don't think you understand what you're doing tell. I don't think you understand what you're doing. Tell me what to Google. I don't have the answer to that either, but I don't think you know either. Gavin, tell me what to Google. Why would a different version of edgeways be sideways, but edgewise is also sideways?

Okay. Just tell me how to spell edgeways. E-T-G-E hyphen W-I-S-E. W-A-S-E. W-A-S-E. Damn! W-A-Y-S-E. What? You see, when I do that, it comes up edgewise.

Edgewise, yeah. E-T-G-E hyphen W-A-Y-S. I was reading... I was reading... My brain's mellowing. I was reading what Nick wrote. What are you talking about why what's wrong with the hyphen eric it just uh was it i thought we were talking about one word is ed edge waste is edge waste the right i don't know i'm confused now that's what happens when you google it but that says that's w-a-s-e yeah edge wait no that might have been what i said when i was saying it wrong hold on i i'm really i'm really telling

edgeways hey i i do want to say jeff you're doing your best with this and i i'm proud of you like sideways i thanks man i really appreciate it i'm doing my honest the issue isn't that it's it's it's two it's two words it's not a singular word for the expression it is he's saying like the way in which the edge of the thing is facing right like a knife maybe there's no hype i don't know maybe it's just edgeways is one word i had this is a mess i'm i'm googled out buddy. Whoa edge cool. If you said something was facing backwards. Would you say backwards or back wise? All right, so trash his head sales Before we we do that tell me everyone in Europe says- says edgeways.

Is that a lie? Are you just the only edgeways guy? No, I- To what extent? I feel like everyone in England says edgeways. Okay, there we go. Now I'm back on the team. You just really have to forget the first time I tried to spell it. Ignore that. That was all wrong. Also, I wanted to point out that when I couldn't pronounce that name, it's because it was spelt wrong.

It was Stephen S-E-G-A-L, and that was what confused me. All right, what else? What other corrections do we have? A lot of stuff's confusing you lately, huh? Yeah, I don't know why. Maybe you need to open a window or something. Tails. Aye, aye, aye.

I saw a fucking... Can I tell you guys about a billboard I saw? Oh, right, we gotta flip the coin. We still doing that? Andrew, can you abide by the rules of rubbish and trash? Okay, yeah, the rules of rubbish and trash for me, I would never call garbage rubbish, but I would call somebody who's playing poorly at a game rubbish.

I would call someone their trash as in rubbish. What is the name of the receptacle that you would put rubbish in? It's a trash can. Yeah, in America, it's a trash can, but now we'll have to call it a rubbish bin, right? Yeah, rubbish bin. So it's like a trash can. Yeah, in America, it's a trash can, but now we'll have to call it a rubbish bin, right? Yeah, rubbish bin. So it's like a twofold. I didn't realize garburator was a universal term.

That was a weird one for me. What? Huh? Is that not a Europe thing? A garburator? Is that like what Garbo Man uses? What do you think a garburator is Jeff what do I think I think it's a I think it's probably a garbage disposal yeah exactly

that's exactly what it is this was the thing in the sink garburator might be a might be a brand name is it I've only ever heard it referred to as a garburator I called a garburator set it to a group of people they had no idea what I was talking about. It was shot. Group of people from a different country. Very specific to point out. This is not... It's a Canadian thing. Yeah.

And is that a pun? Is that a pun off Carberator? I have no idea the origin. It could be, but I don't know the definitive origin. I haven't done my research on the history of the term Garburator, but that's what we call it.

Imagine if we were all from America. Okay, so are you abiding by Rubbish Bin? Yeah, he's got to. Yeah, I guess I can't. So if I lose this coin toss, I can never say trash in any context in which I would normally say. I'd have to replace it with rubbish and if it's the other way you have to do the same

but reverse like whenever you would use the word rubbish you have to say trash now yeah but I would like to point out that you potentially haven't listened again yeah I call tails on my tails oh you call tails he did okay well then it's heads and I just won

I'm looking at heads no I haven't flipped it yet that's why I just shared my screen so that way we can see it and then you don't call deception and then it's a whole thing that I get lawyers involved okay well no just one second who's the away person here who's more I think I'm away so I get to call the toss what are you away from you got you every everyone else in this place is in the same place in the same city I'm the furthest only one not in the same country. It's true. You're the only we're the most We're the most north, but you're both But you're all from North America. I'm the away on the on the phrase yeah, but you currently live playing away

I live away live playing away I live away you call you stick with tails no you can have tails if you want okay I'll just I feel like Eric is sharing his screen it's a virtual coin I want a real coin yeah I don't want to run I can go running it you want to get you to run to get a real coin all right get a real coin place

while he's doing that let me tell you a funny billboard I saw I'd love to hear about your buddy just a very brief thing I saw you a funny billboard i saw i'd love to hear about your funny just a very brief thing i saw i saw a billboard yesterday on i-35 that said keep austin weird which is you know a fucking stupid phrase we've had for 25 years keep austin weird like high cost of living weird ohio it was a billboard advertising people advertising another state. The state of Ohio is spending money on billboards in Austin trying to tell people

to leave Austin to move to Ohio. States are trying to poach each other. That's how you know you fucking made it as a city when an entire state on the other side of the country spends thousands of dollars to try to convince the people that live here to move there

instead. That's fucking ludicrous. I feel like that's not what's happening. I think that's an Austin billboard. I think they're trying to convince people to leave. Because it's too many people to pull it. Yeah, if Austin was smart, they'd put up this exact billboard. It was funded by Austinites

who've lived here for more than 10 years. Can you imagine? God damn. Could you imagine being in like, like you're just walking around London, like in, I don't know, Shoreditch or something. And there's just a big billboard that's like, Norwich, give it a try. Okay. Eric has coins.

Are we doing multiple tosses? Are we doing like a best of five on this coin toss? No, I think it's one and done. I just, here's the thing. Here's what happened. I know how you operate because we've done 81 episodes of this show. So I've chosen one of every coin.

So I have, I'm going to let you choose or you guys come to a consensus. I have a penny. I have a nickel. I have a dime. Okay. I have a quarter. Four. And I have a half dollar. Okay. You have five. So just flip all of them and we'll do best of five. What do they call

the half dollar? Yeah. Just flip all of them. What's that? Flip all of them. Like why do I have a half dollar? I don't know. Do they's that flip all of them like how why do i have a half dollar i don't know do they have a special name for it just half dollar oh it's just half it's just half dollar on it okay hard to see but yep uh okay are we doing are we flipping all five and then all five and we'll take a pause between we can reevaluate if you want to maintain heads or tails okay do you have a do you have a-down angle? I can try to do one. Oh, that's great.

How's that? Yeah, that works. Fantastic. Cool. Okay. Here's the penny. We are saying heads is... I'm tails.

Andrew's is tails. What does that... So trash is heads. No. Rubbish is heads. Trash is tails. Is that right? Yes, that is correct.

Rubbish is heads. Trash tails. Rubbish is heads Yes, that is correct. Rubbish's heads, trash's tails. Rubbish's heads, trash's tails. Trash's tails. Yep. Am I catching it or letting it hit the table? Let it hit the table. Okay, just making sure. Here we go.

It is heads. Fuck. Oh! Fuck. Okay. Rubbish has, I'll have a sheet of paper. I'm gonna hold. That's one for rubbish. Fuck, gonna. I'm I'm gonna hold that's one. That's one for rubbish Do I flip one trash has none so far. I'm gonna hold tails. I'm gonna hold tails in the next toss

I'm just gonna go have a nickel heads tails We said rubbish is heads trashes tails. We are holding here's the flip It is heads trashes tails. We are holding here's the flip It is heads fall. Oh hell yeah There's no way I'm sticking with tip. There's no way that I lose three times in a row It can't happen This is going to be a comeback in the ages on this flip. What is this a quarter you think? We're doing a dime. This is the the smallest this is the smallest of all of the okay coins it is wheat or something on the back rubbish is heads trash is tails we are saying that is holding here we go

oh it went off what what did it land on what did did it land on? It's out of bounds. Doesn't matter. I agree. It should be out of bounds and I won't tell you. I agree, but I will not tell you. Out of bounds,

I won't tell you. That means it was tailed. It could influence your answer. It could influence your answer. It could influence your answer. I'm not counting it. No, I'm locked in.

You're locked in? None of us are allowed to know. It's fine. Yep. I'll tell you afterwards. Okay. Here we go. Andrew. Andrew. It's fine. Yep. I'll tell you afterwards. Okay. Here we go. Andrew.

Andrew. Yeah. You're not going to like this. Well, am I not going to like the fact that it was tails and you flipped it again? Is that what I'm not going to like? It's three heads in a row. It has landed on heads. What was it on the floor?

On the floor, it was heads. I suck. I'm terrible. Flip the rest. Flip the other two plates. This is the luck I was talking about, Andrew. Okay. Do you want to change? No, no, I'm going to hold tails.

There's no, it's got to be tails eventually. Oh, it's off. Doesn't count. Doesn't count. It's a false. It's a redo. It's gotta be tails eventually. Oh, it's off. Doesn't count. Doesn't count. It's a false. It's a redo. It's a heads. No way.

No way. I swear to God. No way. Hey, Andrew, when it fell off, it landed on heads. Fuck off. Heads. There's no way I lose seven in a row. Tails.

Ready? Tails. Here it comes. Oh. You rolled off. Here we go. You rolled off. Andrew?

Yeah? It's landed on heads. Fucking no way. There's no way. What didn't land on the floor? On the floor? Yeah. On the floor, it landed on tails. There we go. So we got one. I had one tail. No, no, you didn't land on the floor? On the floor? Yeah. On the floor, it landed on tails.

There we go. So we got one. I had one tail. No, no, you didn't get any. You got none. Well, no, but it landed, like at least you flipped it eight times. And I'll say this,

at no point was it a sock. Which is still for sale in our store. Buy them 11 and a half months early for next Christmas. I like that heads was open and I'd already picked tails and then you picked tails so I had to go for heads. If you'd have just listened.

God damn. I like tails. I had a good feeling about tails. Talk about snatching defeat from the claws of victory. That's the best luck I've ever had from heads. I'll be honest.

I'm usually a tails guy. Yeah. Every time. I was surprised. I'm a tails guy too. The worst luck. What is the NFL? Hasn't the Super Bowl, it's been the same thing for like 18 years or whatever on their coin toss?

Is that heads or tails? No way. That's what I should have went in. Yeah. It's been like the same. I don't think I'm making that up. I think for like an extended period of time, it has been the same call every time that is one.

I'll just go back through the last five. Heads, tails, heads, heads, tails. Okay, I just made that up. I thought that was the thing. I thought it was like a loss every year. I thought that was the thing. I was wrong about that. I was clearly incorrect.

Hey, Andrew. Yes. When you're done with your apple, where are you going to throw it? The rubbish. Yeah. I mean, you can compost. That's true. No, I will actually. I will compost it. That's

right. That's actually the correct answer. Why don't you pop one of those cosmic crisps in your mouth and see what's up? We're doing the big finale. I'm going to finally taste this Cosmic Crisp. This is exciting. I've been waiting days to do this. I thought I did it once. I get to relive the experience a second time.

How lucky am I? Here we go. Oh, Nick recorded the video. That's awesome. That's awesome. Oh, that was a nice big crunch. I heard that. This is so juicy. He's got the right one! We got the crunch and the juice! He's eating the right apple! Holy shit!

He turned into Donald Duck! Don't choke, chew. Chew, Andrew. I was laughing! Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew.

Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. Chew, Andrew. he turned into donald duck don't choke chew chew andrew i was laughing i choked on the juice

this is a delicious apple this is really good oh we may have we may have figured out the third apple now that that's in his top seven no this is so wow you might have to kick one now that's in his top seven. No, this is so, wow. You might have to kick one out. That's the thing. I'm getting, secretly, Pink Lady was my number one apple. I love a Pink Lady. I think it's a fantastic apple for so many reasons. Wait, wait.

You ate your favorite apple and couldn't tell you were eating it. Well, yeah, because there's like a variation of it. I love a pink lady i thought that's how good the cosmic crisp was i was like this is a delicious apple but having the back to back unknowingly originally i think the cosmic crisp might be better than a pink lady which i did not expect so it rains is the best apple this This might be my current favorite apple. Wow. Wow. Wow.

So better than a six out of 10 then? I think this would be a phenomenal apple juice. Good crunch. Texture is fine. Eric, while Andrew's eating, do you want to talk about the cider that you had? Yeah, I went to a brewery in San Diego and just by happenstance, I can't escape the show. So they had Cosmic Crisp Cider and I talked to the bartender and they said,

Oh yeah, it's from this one place. And cosmic crisp is like, this is like the best one they do. And it's really made with cosmic crisp apples. And I had it and it tasted like cause I gave it a six out of 10. I mean, it tasted like the cosmic crisp was the bartender,

Peter stormer. No, unfortunately you did say that it became a six and a half out of 10 after you were done. It tasted like the Cosmic Crisp. Was the bartender Peter Stormare? No, unfortunately not. You did say that it became a six and a half out of ten after you were done. Is that right? It did. When I was done, it went up about half a point. I did enjoy it.

It's just, it wasn't so sugary, which was nice, but also it's a cider, so it's kind of like, you know, how much do you really want to drink of this? That's kind of how it goes. I got a, I'm going to help. I got to. I'm going to upgrade my rank from before. This is better than an eight. This is better than an eight. Wow.

I'm giving this apple a nine point two. Oh, this is a good app. I feel like we did not eat the same apple. Oh, my God. This is a nine point two. It's better than a honeydress. I think it's better than a pink lady chose my preview. I think this might be my favorite apple Wow That's bold. This is Wow, so you ate your two favorite apples in the same podcast. Yeah, I'm gonna continue eat I'm just gonna finish both of it. Let me well. Let me to actually that's a great point

I'm gonna take a bite of the pink lady now Actually, that's a great point. I'm going to take a bite of the pink lady now. Oh, fuck. I don't know. Actually, hmm. He's got terrible apple memory. No, it's...

This is an apple goldfish. This is also a really good apple. Hmm. I don't... This might be... This genuinely might be the LeBron James versus Michael Jordan of apples. It's what we're having right now. These are two all-time greats.

I don't know how to measure that. It's tough. They both have different things. You know what? I think we're going to solve this in a year from next week. If the Cosmic Crisp holds for one whole year in a fridge, I think it's undeniably the greatest. Eric wrote, did you mix them up and bite cosmic crisp twice?

How are we to be sure? I'm making sure. I'm looking at the stickers on both. What's the sticker on the cosmic crisp sticker? I just peeled it off. Where did I put it? Oh my god! It's somewhere.

One sec. Where did I put it? Did you have bad glue from your sticker? No. Yeah, I did actually. I kind of noticed when I put it? Oh my god! It's somewhere. One sec. Where did I put it? Did you have bad glue from your sticker? No. Yeah, I did actually. I kind of noticed when I peeled it. They gotta work on that. Where did I put the sticker?

I just literally peeled it off after... You know, I was thinking about what happened. I got it. 3507? 3507. Ooh, different batch. Different batch. Interesting. You know what I was thinking? 3507 different batch interesting

you know what I was thinking we were talking about last week or at some point in the past inventing our own apple yeah and then some scientist comment lever really dissuaded me from it it sounded complicated but then I just had an idea I was thinking about this earlier today actually I

almost ate an apple I almost ate a red delicious that was in my kitchen and then I was like yeah I don I was thinking about this earlier today, actually. I almost ate an apple. I almost ate a Red Delicious that was in my kitchen, and then I was like, yeah, I don't want to. And you know what turned me away? I realized I don't like the apple skin. That's the only thing that keeps me from an apple. Oh, I love the skin. I used my thought. For those of us who don't like the skin,

I can't be the only one. For those of us who don't like an apple skin, someone should invent, maybe it's us, a skinless apple that grows that way. You mean an apple that rots on the tree? Well, it wouldn't last a year, but... Hear me out. I got an innovative idea as well.

What if we invented a product that could peel an apple? What about that? Well, I think that probably... What if you could run it through and just peel it? You've never used one? Who? Used what? The apple probably exists. What if you could run it through and just peel it? You've never used one? Who? Used what? The apple peeler.

Who are you talking to? Well, you're saying to invent something, but it already exists. Yeah, that was the fucking, I was being sarcastic, you pile of rubbish. You gotta work on, you gotta, you gotta work on sarcasm. What? You don't think I fucking know what an apple peeler is? The apple guy? You think the apple guy doesn't know

what an apple peeler is? What? It didn't sound like sarcasm. I was being facetious. You've got outrage down pat, but sarcasm,

I'm going to give you honestly two out of ten. So Jeff, you're on my side with whether or not that was real? Yeah, no, no, for sure. I give him a two out of ten

on the sarcasm scale. What do you think? How do I? Can I retry it? Can I ret I give him a 2 out of 10 on the sarcasm scale. What do you think? Can I retry it? I thought it was such a facetious statement. It was so obviously false. I mean, I guess I can kind of see that, so I'll give it a 2.

But really, it was just like, I just thought you didn't know what an apple peeler was. Okay, well, let me, how do I, hmm. Maybe it was just really good sarcasm. Let me, yeah, well, i just don't drive how do i it's drier than a pink lady all right take two so what about this now that didn't that just sounded genuine i don't know do i not know how to be sarcastic how do i be circuit no okay so what So what about this? What if... I don't know. How do I...

Wait, okay. Somebody else say it sarcastically, and then I can copy that. Oh, Jeff's the king of sarcasm. Go for it. What? I can't tell. How about we invent...

No. What? I don't... Apple peeler. That was so fucking great I can't believe that happened that was funny so things we learned today the face podcast now is officially a rubbish podcast

we no longer say the T word the T-word. That's not good. The T-word has been stricken from the record. We know that Cosmic Crisp, Canadian Cosmic Crisps, I can't say crisp. Canadian Cosmic Crisps are 9.2 on the 10 scale and Canadian humans are 2 even on the sarcasm scale. Thank you for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.

You wasted your time, but you did it with us. We'll see you next week. Hey guys, minor league fan Jack with a look at next week's episode. The gang talks the mummy. Andrew has a sushi disaster. Gavin makes a friend on a plane. Jeff discusses celebrity cheese. Panton is a marshmallow roasting genius. The guys seal up their cosmic crisps. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Fates.