F**kface - Gavin's Delay Experiment // Horse Mode [79]

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Gavin's muted, no bad ideas, audio delay, why, Geoff errands, Geoff on hold, banking, sunglasses, best burger of the year, mustard fried, deep frieday, flavor cubes, suffer the consequences of the gruel, one bite an apple, scrapple, Quibi, streaming services, Press My Luck, newest Gurpler, room temperature, best days/worst days draft, AI Coke commercial, Dasani, evaporated Coke, and the most wrong. Watch the Coca-Cola ad with us: https://youtu.be/Yy6fByUmPuE?si=bO_ETUe7BYyC7ayd Sponsored by Shopify. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/face Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm going to mute, but just know there's nothing wrong. You are here. I can't mute now. Something's wrong. Something's wrong. That's just made the episode. My little macro for being mute is like double pressing now. I love it.

I love it. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. And with me as always, Andrew Pant and Gavin Free, Nick Schwartz, Eric Bador. This is episode 70. Take it away Gavin. Hello. Nailed it?

You know what I love about Gavin? Absolutely nailed it. I have a button. It's like a little floor button for muting my Discord. But I think what happens is sometimes Smee sits on it, so it buffers like 1,800 presses of the button. And my Discord is we go nuts. You have a kick pedal for muting?

Yeah. Why? You're the only person on Earth that had that problem right now, I bet. Probably. Yeah, I was using it for some pinball recording, but now it's just in my office. I see. That makes sense. That I have enough hands.

I want to know what Andrew was going to say about what he loved about Gavin. What do you love about Gavin? Oh, what I love about Gavin is that there's like sort of this idea of there are no bad ideas and just throwing ideas out and see where they can evolve. And he doesn't have that fear. It just says something that like he'll say an idea and he won't even like it and it won't be for anyone. but he'll just say it with the same confidence and energy you would have with one of his best ideas. What's an example of one of my...

You want to pitch what you just pitched us, Gavin? Okay, my idea was, what if we tried to record a podcast where we were all on a different minute delay? And who is that? Who wants that? I think it'll be a fun experiment. Who wants that? Oh, no one. What does it prove? Okay, what is the experiment proving?

Either way. Well, imagine it like, so say Jeff had no delay, right? He's just normal talking. But you were on a one minute delay of what Jeff said. And then I was on a two minute delay. Let's test this out. Well, how are we going to create? We should not test this out.

No, we can test this out. Hey, Andrew, pretend you're on a one minute delay. One minute is such a long amount of time. Andrew, did you watch Survivor last night? and then we this is the worst podcast we've ever done it was such a bad idea

he came in just came in had a muted issue asked if he was okay then had a big muting issue when we were trying to sink I don't know you're it feels like you're

all over the place Gavin that's all right I'll be on a two minutes are I from who I'm still waiting on Andrew to We haven't reached one minute We have not reached one minute It's a bad idea

This is we had to suffer through this Through the pandemic Why do we have to do it now on purpose? It's an experiment To do what? We still don't know what it proves Oh Well doing it without a real delay

It proves nothing Man What is my simulated delay Any different than the real delay If the time differentiation is like identical. Because we wouldn't be all chatting

while this minute runs out. No, I'm not watching Survivor this season. Oh, that's a shame. You, it's,

well, it's been pretty boring up until recently, but it's just starting to heat up. You know how it is when they finally merge. You respond it too soon.

Oh, you wrecked the delay. All right. So it doesn't work. It's not good here. No, I was done. We tried it once, that was good enough.

Yeah. One minute is too long. You said, you said a fake delay doesn't prove anything. What does a real delay prove? Well, you'd have to try.

Stop. Just tell me what it proves. It'd be four, it'd be five people talking to themselves. I just don't, I don't think we know what it could prove. What? One of the things where you don't know what you don't know.

We don't know until we try it. I don't see. I don't, I don't, listen, I don't do this often, but Andrew do something. Please. I just,

I want to know why. I guess. Like typically when people pitch something, there is an intent for it as to what... Hold on, shut up. Hold on. Hold on one sec. Okay. Man, great question, Jeff. I can't wait to see what Andrew says. Oh, okay.

That's two minutes. Me too. Yeah. So do you think it would be funny? Is that what the point of it is? We proved it's not. Well, I also I deliberately said it before we started recording so it didn't become a thing like exactly, oh my alarm's going off.

No, but it's a thing. You suggested it. Oh, God. I'm just, like, fascinated by it. Not in a way of, like, any judgment. It's just, like, I don't know. I have lots of judgment. You can have your judgment. I think a lot of our good content

has come from shit ideas. Absolutely. And obviously, a lot of shit has come from shit ideas. But, you know, you never know until... A lot of shit has come from good ideas. That's true. There have been great ideas that ended up shit and vice versa.

But I just, I... It's fun. One, when you get an idea where, like, you don't understand what the purpose is from the person who even suggested it. Because I don't think you'd want to listen to that. For? No. No. Speaking of not wanting to listen to something, I did something so stupid yesterday.

It hurt my brain. Was it yesterday? It was two days ago now. Yeah. I told that I teased the guys yesterday. We had to meet up and go to the bank for a thing. And I teased the guys yesterday. But, Andrew, I did something.

I am the architect of my own stupidity. Can I take a guess at what you did? Please do. Did you have everybody go to a restaurant and then order the wrong item for the point of what the whole idea was? No, that was the last time. That was the time before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.

No, I didn't do that. No. What did you? I was running errands. on Tuesday, right? So I got up. I had to go to the gas station. I had to go to the bank. I had to go vote in the election. I got a sandwich, and then I had to go to the post office. And so I get up, I leave. I want to get a bunch of stuff done. I want to be super productive. Then I was going to go by the office and do a little bit of admin work there. And so I hop in

to my car, grab my sunglasses, my keys and everything, hop into my car, go, driving around town. And as I'm about halfway through with my ride is, it's about time for me to go to the post. office, which is about 15 minutes away, I get a notification that I need to call our bank and talk to somebody on the phone about an issue. It's not a big issue. It's not a bad thing. It's nothing earth-shattering. It's just an administrative thing that has to be remedied by talking to a physical person, right? Got it. Which is annoying, because it's like my least favorite thing on Earth to do is talk to people on the phone. But I'm like, no problem. I call, actually, I go to the app for the bank, because that's what they want you to do, right? Always use the app. And I can't find a contact link

or number anywhere on the app. Like anywhere, nowhere on the app can I find a way to get from the app to a human being? So I'm like, God damn it. And then I think, like, this is where technology sucks, right? So then I Google the phone number to the bank.

Google AI returns, you know, a number. I call it. I immediately get put on hold, which is fine because I expected to be put on hold. It does that thing where it says, hey, if you want to press one to get a call back, go ahead and do that. But we expect there to be about a six-minute wait time.

So usually I press, one. I decided not to press one because I was driving anyway and it was going to be in the car for more than six minutes. So I was like, yeah, what's the point? I'll just sit on hold and listen to their dumb hold music. So I'm on hold. I get all the way to the post office. I've now been on hold for over 10 minutes and I'm scared to go into the garage because I don't want to lose the signal. And I think, you know what? Fuck it. I'll just press one. I'll get the call back and then I'll just do with it later whenever the callback comes in. That option's been taken. way at this point like once you say no to the one call back they're like sorry it's off the table

you're in it now buddy there's no we're not calling we're not calling shit so now i'm just stuck on hold right so i go well fuck this is weird and so i think i'll just park on the street near the post office and i'll continue to wait on hold and uh surely it won't be too much longer another 10 minutes of that and i'm just looking at a clock while every 30 seconds the lady comes in and says thanks for holding blah blah blah blah and uh and i'm just looking at the day evaporate in front of me and i'm like i can't fucking do this. I've been on hold for 20 minutes at this point. And so I just drive into the garage and I say, fuck it. If I lose the connection, I lose the connection, I'll call back. I drive into the garage. I park. I'm able to get out. I'm still on hold. I'm like, well, now, okay, I'll just

go into the post office. So I go into the post office and I get our mail from the PO box and we have a package. We have to go talk to the dude for. And I have to mail some packages out to the audience and my mom and everything. So I just put the phone on speaker phone and stick it in my back pocket. and I think, like, I'm fucked. I'm going to go up, and as soon as I say hello to the guy, the agent's going to pop in, and I'm going to have to hang up on the agent, and I'm extra fucked.

But, who knows? You know, I just leave the jingle on in my back pocket. I'm able to go through. I'm able to get two giant packages from the guy who has to go in the back to get him, right? Then I'm able to mail something to my mom, and then mail something to a couple of regulation community members. And then the fucking phone still hasn't picked it yet.

I'm still on hold. So I go, wow. I actually feel lucky. I actually feel lucky that they didn't pick up so I didn't have to hang up. So then I take these boxes and I go all the way back into the parking garage

and I put them in my trunk and then I get in and I sit in the seatbelt or sit in the car and I get buckled up and I turn the car and everything and I take my phone out of my pocket and I put it on the console where it sits when I'm driving. And as I do that, I see,

I see on the phone it says you've been on hold with the Bank of America for 29 minutes now. And I think, oh, that's cool. except we don't have Bank of America that's not our fucking bank I've been on the hold with the wrong goddamn

for half an hour no I don't know if I stupidly Googled the wrong bank and it returned the right number or if Google AI just fucked me and sent me Bank of America's number I'm not gonna say what bank we do have but it is definitely not Bank of America

as soon as I realize that the real dumb thing is I've been listening to the lady say we at Bank of America appreciate your customer, your patronage, please continue to hold. She must have said it 80 fucking times

over 30 minutes. And I just in one ear and out the other. I was so fucking defeated that I drove to In and Out Burger. I got a hamburger and then I drove to the office and I sat on the ground in the break room and I ate a hamburger

felt stupid and just organized cards and moped for an hour. I just sat on the floor and just organized shit in the break room and just, like, sat in misery at my own stupidity. And then my reward for that, and this is where it gets even better, I get up, it's time to leave,

I put everything away, I throw my stuff in the trash can, I go, I skip back into my car, I look at myself in the mirror because I'm about to back up, and I get the shock of my life. Something's weird, something looks weird.

I look at myself again, and I realize that's because I'm wearing my wife's giant black cat-eye sunglasses that I have been wearing all day. I've driven all over town. I stood in line at a library in them to vote. I ordered a sandwich in them. I went to a gas station and bought a soda in them.

I navigated the entire post office in my wife's giant, very lady, feminine cat-eye sunglasses, and it never cried. I never noticed that I was using the wrong sunglasses. You were talking to the wrong bank in the wrong glasses. Dumbest day of my life. You were like halfway.

to Emily being on the phone to Bank of America. God. Damn, dude. Did you notice how I added to this dumb in our texts? No, I didn't. How did you do that? Well, I was asking you, do we know if the problem is on the side of the company that didn't receive our money or Chase for not sending the money? And then after that, I realized that Chase isn't our bank either. Jesus Christ. I did notice you say that, but I just like, I did just like, I did just just, like, I did just just,

went one in and at the other like everything else. So anyway, that's how fucking dumb I am. And that's what you all have to look forward to as your brain starts to crumble with age. There is one positive, though, that you didn't mention. The only part of the story I knew about going into this. You said that was your best burger of the year. It was a fucking awesome burger, man. I've been getting my in-and-out burgers mustard fried, and it is such a game changer since I did that. Mustard fried? Yeah, they squirt a little mustard on it before they flip it, and then it just like fries into the pat.

It's so good, dude. It's so good. And that was burger number 30 for you. That was my 30th burger of the year. Yeah, and it was by far the best burger. That was definitely my, like, in my feels burger. I wonder what do it taste like with other condiments fried? Ooh.

Could you ask? You know, like, how you can say, like, no onions? Could you be, like, ketchup fried place? They, I don't know. You could. I mean, they'll do anything in and out. Huh. that's fascinating

I wonder what type of condiment like I don't like relish but I wonder if I'd like relish fried fried relish might be delicious it could be really good what if we had a hamburger where everything was fried

everything that goes on the hamburger has to be fried Friday tomorrow Friday Friday Friday Friday what does fried lettuce taste like hold I'm going to put

Friday day up for the bet barrel It'd probably be a wet and wiltie. No, no, no. Grilled lettuce is good. I grill lettuce all the time, yeah. It's great. Grill on dives. Yeah, really nice. What if you deep fried every part of a burger?

Deep Friday? I got a fucking deep fried day. That'll be a sequel. Because that's what I was thinking in my head. Like, you know when you go to a fair and like they deep fry butter or whatever, like you would do the same process on like the tomato and then the lettuce and the onion. And I guess a deep fried onion is just onion rings. That is and is crazy. That's an existing product that's pretty popular.

Does a deep fried butter stay together? I don't know. I've never had it. I just know it's a thing that they're capable of, which blows my mind. I don't think anyone should eat that. Well, I mean, you're the protein cube guy. Yeah, yeah. Give it to me.

I think if I was to endorse a product or like have my own range of some product it would have to be the food cube I wonder if there's a white label food cube service out there that we could Gavin can partner with what's funny about the food cube is that you'd be the number one brand about like it would

logically make the most sense for you to lead the product but you're also the ambassador I would trust the least that's a good point it being a good taste what do you mean though I'd be selling to other food Yeah, but you want to get more than the food cubies. Do I? I think so. I think the whole point of any advertising is to get more than the people that naturally like the product.

Exactly. Hmm. Not sure I necessarily agree with that. I found stuff that is like protein cubes. Chilled protein cubes. The problem I think is that it comes in three different flavors, vanilla chocolate and peppermint mocha, which I feel. I feel goes against sort of what Gavin wants in his protein cube.

He doesn't want different flavors. He wants the blandest thing that he can simply consume. That's not necessarily true. I'm sorry? What? Really? What flavor do you want? Well, I feel like if I was, that's dessert protein cube to me.

I feel like there should be like a beef one. It should be like savory flavors followed by a chocolate. I think Arby's just created a beef protein cube. Isn't it their steak nugget? Yeah, yeah, we just have this steak nugget. Isn't that boo-ion? It's just a steak nugget. I found something called meal squares.

Is meal squares closer? It's got its whole foods, including five different fruits and vegetables. It's very snow-piercer. Yeah. It's got a complete nutrition profile, though. Yeah. That's all you need. You could live off just that, I bet.

You know what would be interesting, though, is if you put in a food cube or whatever in your mouth. and you didn't get any taste until a minute later or then a minute delay and the more you ate the more the delay was different foods have different flavor delays

yeah I think that'd be interesting now this is something I could get aboard for with this delay I like the idea you put the food in your mouth and someone says you like it and you have to say I don't know yet we're waiting I'll tell you in an hour 40 seconds

it'd be cool if you could delay stuff in food like you could delay the calories like they're still coming but you could delay them to laugh do you get back from the beach, you know? I think it'd be

interested. I think it'd be a more affordable way to eat because you could potentially eat one little bite of something

delicious, like a, you know, like a nice sushi piece or like a hunk of chocolate or something.

Sure. And then an hour later, just eat a bowl of gruel and it would taste really good. Oh,

that's cheating. You think, wait. Yeah. An hour later you eat a bowl of gruel. And then I'm

getting the flavor from the first thing I ate. Yeah, but then later you'd suffer the consequences of the gruel. Later, you'll be walking down the street and it'll just be fucking gruel all over. But at least then

I'm not actually eating it. I would just be like, I don't think it makes the difference at that point. I think you're still suffering the consequence. Huh. Unless you find an activity to counter the gruel, like, what if you timed it so that the gruel would hit while you were on a roller coaster, so you didn't even really notice?

I probably want to throw up more. But I feel like it would just taste like I just... Wait, what? No, it would... I feel like the 10 seconds after you eat something bad is a lot better than while you're eating something bad. Isn't it? What?

Say that one more time. Say it one more time. Say it one more time for me. What don't you like eating, Eric? Pickles. You're eating a pickle, pretty grim, right? Yeah. But after you're done eating it,

You've still got a little bit of the taste, but it's not as bad, because you've eaten it. That's like saying, I feel like getting bit by a snake is worse than 10 seconds after being bit by a snake. Why is everything with you today all about delays? What is going on? What do you need? But what you would experience is basically the feeling like you just ate gruel, but you're not actually eating it. So it wouldn't be as bad as eating it. But when you worry in it, you were getting the delicious taste of chucky in that.

I don't. Why don't you just eat gruel that tastes good? What are you, I still don't understand what point you're proving. Well, Jeff was saying an hour later, after I've eaten the mingin gruel, I'd be tasting the gruel, but I'm not actually eating the gruel. What is gruel? What the hell is it? I don't think, I don't know, but we're going to. suffer the consequences of it.

Yeah, like that's what I don't seem to think you get is that if you delay the consequence, it's still the consequence. I just think the consequence of the taste of something you're not eating isn't as bad as eating something that you don't like. I think what you're, so what I'm trying, I think what you're saying is that you think if you're not in the act of doing it, the consequence is lesser than. Yeah. The effect of it.

But I disagree. I think that if you break your arm and you don't, feel any of the pain until an hour later it's equally as bad I think that you're just like weirdly disassociating these things because that's not how we experience things well I'm I'm separating the texture from the taste that's true but the consequence of I guess if you're only upset by the texture then that that would make sense it's like the only context in which what you're saying makes sense but it but it still doesn't make sense because you

the texture doesn't go away You would still have the texture. It's the taste that's delayed. But if you had a really mingin texture with a phenomenal taste, wouldn't that get you through it? What's a... I mean, does that already exist? Is there something that you like the flavor of,

but you don't like how you eat it necessarily? It's a great question. I guess bananas for me is like the closest. I can see that, yeah. We're like, I don't mind the taste of it, but I hate the texture. I don't like eating an apple. but I like apples. Oh, interesting.

You don't like apple texture. That's interesting. I just don't like the skin and brain. Like, if I cut them up and stuff, I'm okay with it. I just don't like to eat an apple. Oh, I like feeling like a horse. I like a full horse mode. If you could one bite an apple, would you go for it?

What? You could see an apple out like in a cartoon. There's, okay, there's two ways they eat apples. If we're going to really get into the mindset of this for me. Okay. I either go full horse mode And that's fun That's a great way to eat an apple

Or I may have a knife And cut the pieces of the apple With the knife guy That also adds a little layer To this little spice Can I ask what full horse mode is for you? It's like taking the biggest chunk You can possibly take

Like not being strategic Just like chunk in that apple Dude I feel like if I did that in 2025 I'd leave four teeth in the apple I think Apple is a Danish when you do when you do the big bite there because you can you can bite off chunks bigger than your mouth like sometimes the apple will split and it'll be

way bigger than a mouthful I've never had more than a mouthful of apple when going horse mud really? Yeah you know Gav I heard about a product recently from actually I think from Mark the Frog of all people go figure

that might be right up your Ali. There is a meat-based food cube that exists. Have you ever heard of something called Scrapple? No. Allow me to present Scrapple. I hadn't even thought about Scrapple. Didn't even cross my mind. You knew about Scrapple?

Yeah. Yeah, I've had it. It's a Pennsylvania thing, I think. It is a Pennsylvania Dutch thing. It is a... It is good. It is a traditional mush. of fried pork scraps and trimmings

combined with cornmeal and wheat flour and pressed into a cube. Yeah. It's one of the ugliest looking things I've ever seen. It's delicious. I think I only like the idea of the food cube on paper

because the picture of meal squares and the scrapple is not doing anything for me. Let's try scrapple. You've said you already have eaten it and you love it. You just want to to get you Scrapple.

Yeah, we can't get it here. Scrapple Scrundes. I'm realizing that I put the same way in food opinions from Nick and Gavin. They're equal just for different reasons. Oh, to answer the spectrum. Yeah.

You're such a food guy. You saying something's incredible doesn't move the meter for me. Yeah. Smart. Because he likes everything. In the same way that Gavin, yeah.

It's just the reverse. It's the opposite. Yeah. It's like when Jack's, Patillo recommends a TV show. Yeah, I'm glad you're like clueling in on this. I'm glad you're fine. I'm glad people are starting to understand.

This is good. Andrew, you've focused it on me not enjoying tastes. But I do like the taste of stuff. I just don't like a meal being 90 minutes long. In Andrew's defense, you have multiple times said that taste is unnecessary and you'd rather get the food down than spend time. You're an efficiency guy. What if I could trade taste for time?

I would do it. Yeah, it's right in front of your scrapple. Yeah, I just don't think I could get that down. That looks... You got to fry it. You've got to fry it. It's fried leftover pig shit. Yeah, it's for our fried days.

You just fry up some scrapple. Probably, it's probably identical from an ingredient standpoint to a hot dog just produced differently. Oh, that's interesting. At the end of the trilogy. Has anyone made a scrapple dog? That grossed me out. Cut it to a perfect cylinder. I don't know why that got me.

That got me real hard. Nick, Nick, it didn't know. Jeff's not going to go for it, but would you try a scrapple dog? Absolutely, I would. We've got to do this. I don't know why that's really gross. I don't ever get got like that.

I found a place. I found a place that did a scrappled dog and they put lobster on it. Lobster top scrap. Hold on. Oh, my God. Surf and Turf. Oh.

Stick hop, cool that tough. It's like, Nick is like, if Joey Chestnut's competitiveness had joy, Nick's the joy of Joey Chestnut. Like, that's a man that I think just does that because he's competitive about it. If it was for the love of the game, Nick is the physical embodiment of Joey Chestnut. Love him. the game. When you're starting a business, it's insanely stressful. Feels like you're spinning 16 plates at once, and as you proceed, they only multiply.

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on your dumb day, Jeff. Did you resolve that problem yet, or is it still unresolved because of that? No, I resolved it while I was on the floor moping. I was on hold. Don't worry. I thought you punted on it, I didn't realize. No, no, no, I spent 25 minutes on hold

with the right bank before I was thinking about it. Yeah, I did a good hour between the two banks. I wonder if anyone's called the bank to be like, persuade me. This isn't my bank. convince me. This is the second time I've done this in my life. I was reminded when I did it of many years ago. We have two plumbing companies in Austin, one called Radiant Plumbing, which is kind of locally famous. They actually had a bid on John Oliver where he like made a commercial for him and

stuff. And then we have another plumbing place called Reliant Plumbing. And I bought an air conditioner from one of them and called the other one and then tried to convince them that they needed to come out and service it. And they were like, we, you are not our customer. And then after about like five minutes of running around and me getting real angry the lady goes, I think he meant to call Radiant. And I was like, oh, I certainly did. And I was like, does this happen a lot? And she was like, not really.

I bet you guys get this all the time. No, first time. That was like 2022, 2022, 2023. Ugh. Oh. I think it's funny, the idea of calling multiple things in the same

field and trying to negotiate between them. Yeah. Being like, oh, now I'm getting this rate by this plumber. What can you do for me? Or calling a bank about it. Every financial decision in your life you phoned the bank for. You're like, what would you do? Any advice for me?

The thing about it too is that like Bank of America, when I called the number, they asked for the last four digits of my Social Security card. And I'm like, yeah, I typed it in. And that wasn't a red flag. They were like, all right, cool, got it. Not like we don't have you as a customer. That's a weird one. Nothing came back.

That doesn't match the number you call. None of that. They were just like, cool, got it, which made me think, do I have a Bank of America account? I'm not aware of? I do not. That is always scary. There are certain accounts that, like, you can't get rid of.

Like, I couldn't cancel Quibi. And so... What? How can they charge you? I don't think they exist anymore. No, they don't. That's why I stopped paying for Quibi. I think I talked about it at the show at the time.

But I registered for Quimby when it came out. And then I couldn't, because I did it through, like, an Apple thing. I wasn't able to deactivate it So I just kept getting charged Quibi per month And then I was so happy when that company died Because it ended my subscription with them I had a really hard time cancel My Paramount Plus a little while ago

It was not easy That is like the only advantage to me Of I really enjoy going through Amazon for everything Because I hate having to deal with Apple TV's login thing Or like specific companies login being able to have one hub for all of it is so much more efficient. Can I actually, this brings up something I wanted to complain to you guys about.

Can I bitch about something real fast? Yeah, please. You're talking about these multiple apps and watching television, right? This is the, the gripe of my 50s I've decided. Yesterday, yesterday, I wanted to watch a documentary that somebody recommended to me on Canon Films. The documentary is called Electric Bugaloo, the wild untold story of canon films or whatever, right?

So I thought, that's a lot to type. Google where it's going to be before I type it in the wrong fucking app. And Google said, cool, you can watch this. You can watch this on Amazon. You can watch it on Netflix and you can watch it on YouTube premium. Not a problem. I have all of those. I was in front of Amazon. So I load up Amazon and I go to the search and I type in electric and nothing's coming up. Trick, space, still nothing. Boo. Finally, it pops up and it says, oh yeah, it's not available here. The internet lied to you. And I'm like, fuck, okay. So then I open up Netflix and then I go to search and I type And nothing's coming up.

Trick, space, boot. And then it finally says, nah, we don't have that here. Oh, fuck. So then I go to YouTube and I type in electric space, boot nothing, Gulu, space, nothing. Documentary. Boom, it pops up and I get to watch it.

And I'm thinking the entire time, why doesn't copy and paste exist from app to app? Like, surely the Apple TV can figure out how to transfer my, I should be able to copy what I type in Amazon and then be able to pay. pasted in Netflix in the same search window. We can go to Mars. We can't figure out how to make it easier for me to type electric boogaloo three times.

On Apple TV? Yeah. I think you can share the clipboard from your phone on or on fire stick or on any of it. Yeah, I think people are always talking about like having subdermal chips put in and shit for like storage of data, which sounds scary as hell. But I would definitely have a clipboard

like in my finger I'd love that it's a fucking it's stupid it's stupid that I have to type it all over again from three apps

on the same device when all the device does is service those apps it's the only purpose of the device you could probably voice to text it or

what's that you can probably just say it into the into the app into my little Apple remote

yeah yeah you just go electric there's a microphone button on it. The way he said it. The least confident I've ever heard somebody say something. Yeah. He did bail out.

Just you say to my little apple and imagining you like hunched over to your Apple thing going electric boogaloo Canon. Canon electric boogaloo. I don't want to have to talk to my TV. Yeah, I agree. We're not friends. We're not buddies.

You know. It's enough that I have to ask Alexa what the weather is. That's enough. I don't want to have to talk to shit. I'm in my house. You know watching the documentary? I did. It was awesome. It was fucking awesome.

Yeah. It's a really fantastic documentary. I feel like I only talk to stuff if I'm alone. I don't want someone to hear me talking to a piece of technology. I feel the opposite. I don't want to hear me talking to a piece of technology. But you're hearing you say that now. I don't want to talk to the fucking remote control.

or the television that's dumb that's not a future I want to live in also it wouldn't work it would work like dog shit it works like when I ask Alexa something

and I'm like hey Alexa what's the score of the Celtics game and then she's like I don't know she's like Anthony Bourdain died in 2021

that's not what I asked Technology is so shit in 2025 so funny because I feel the opposite I would rather talk to technology with someone around than a person

with someone else around. What did you just say? I don't understand what that you just said. You said that you would rather what did you say? You don't want to talk to a person in front of someone. You said that if someone was, you said you would only talk to technology

if no one else was around. Yeah. I feel indifferent about it. I would feel weird or talking to somebody with another person around. If there is a person, in the peripheral, I'd rather be talking to technology than another person. So you wouldn't want to, you wouldn't want me to be in the room if you were on the phone?

Yes. I get that. That is significantly worse for me than if I were just talking to a piece of technology. Because with another person in the peripheral, it feels rude to me in a sense. I feel like there's pressure. Yes. judgment there is pressure there is both the layer of like this person could be hearing what I'm saying and judging it and also a layer potentially of like I need to try to get this

person involved in this conversation that isn't part of it I don't want them to feel unwelcome where if I'm just talking to my TV who cares man doesn't matter you're right about one thing I have never felt pressure in my life like having to call American Express to get a card unlocked in the achievement on our office in front of five assholes. Oh my God. And I had to do it twice a week for, I don't know, six years? I want to start a series where I would film you every time you were doing it. And I think I filmed like seven or eight of them.

And then it just got to the point where it was sad. Yeah. Every time we bought something on Steam. Because it wasted like 25 minutes of your day every two weeks. Mm-hmm. And you would always say, can you please, can you please make a note? And they would say, yes, we're making a note. This will never happen again.

And sometimes it would happen again like an hour later. And I would say, don't say that because I'll be talking to you in an hour. You're going to regret saying that. What's the worst documentary you've seen? Like least enjoyable. I saw a documentary on the Beatles being like Paul McCartney being dead and them replacing him with a fake Paul McCartney. and I couldn't get through it. I tried to watch it like 2016 or something.

I hate the Press My Luck documentary, that guy. What's that about? It's so boring. It's about the guy that like broke the game show Press My Luck because he just realized that it's a game where you hit a button and you need to avoid landing on certain squares. And he realized that they just use like the same five patterns over and over again so he could predict.

And they made a documentary about him. And what I just described is the entirety of the story. There's nothing more to that story, but it's like 90 minutes long. They just made a movie about it. They did. I don't understand the fascination with the Press My Luck guy. I don't know. It is not that compelling of a story.

I think the actually, like the most interesting part of it was, and I don't remember if it was related to his winnings from Press My Luck, it must have been. There was like a radio show that was doing a promotion where if you could guess the serial number of a dollar bill they had. had uh you would get a certain amount of money and so he like pulled all of his money into cash to just like try to figure out the serial number that they're going to use did he do it no no it is it's like 90 minutes of like yeah this guy was like really shitty and and like didn't uh he was trying to do scams and stuff and none of it really worked all that well and then he did press my luck and that worked but like he got in trouble and

there's no there's like not an interesting arc to it I don't know why he got in trouble though because he was trying to game the system but that's just a floor of the system yeah yeah but that's the world we live in that's not how that works like casinos are built entirely on the idea of

like you cannot in any way manipulate the odds to you and by manipulate we mean use anything that would be skillful your advantage yeah like counting cards in your head sure hey uh Speaking of trying something new, ah, fuck.

Why don't we have Nitro? God, damn it. I have Nitro. Listen. Have we talked to the audience about the next Gerbler yet? No. I don't think we have. I have posted a video, two videos, actually.

I'm going to post in the merch Slack, because they're too fucking powerful for Discord. I think maybe it's time to talk about it because we have them, we have samples in, and I have sent them to you guys. They did arrive. That's in my kitchen. Yeah, this is me testing it out

in my kitchen this morning. Okay. So I've sent you guys some videos if you want to watch them. First video is 42 seconds long, and the second one is 14 seconds long. Okay. All right, let us know to hit play on the 42 second one. All right, well, I'll tell, I'll say,

if everybody's ready, I'll say go. All right, on your mark, it's set, go. Okay, so it's a green gurpler. Well, we don't revealing it, are we? Yeah, sure. I mean, I don't know. That's what I'm asking. Why wouldn't we reveal it?

Why wouldn't we? It comes out in like a month and a half. Yeah, I don't know why we wouldn't reveal it. Jeff is pouring ice water into what appears to be a normal green gurpler with white leather. What appears to be. What appears to be. And look at it slowly changed. Oh, wow.

That's so fucking cool. It's turning purple. The lettering. The text. The lettering that is white is becoming purple. That's really cool. Dude, that looks awesome. And with the 14 second video?

The 14 second video is just me showing the other side and then showing that if you touch the logo with your thumb or something hot, it goes back to white and then purple. Ooh. I was just showing how well it works. Are we allowed to see that one or no? Yeah, go for it.

Look at it. It's like, okay. Is it, are you going to send it or? Is it not uploaded? Oh, sorry. Are you going to like not send it? Or you're just kind of like, it's like keeping it for yourself? It says it uploaded.

Is it dishwasherable? Yeah, it's dishwasher safe. Let me try to send it a second time. I mean, I wouldn't put it in the dishwasher, but you could. Yeah, I probably shouldn't put any of them in the dishwasher, but I think they do say it's dishwasher safe. It is definitely not, like, there you go. There you go.

So you can see that as well. Okay, so it's purple on the logo. I'm going to put my thumb on it. Oh, and then you're warming it up and it goes white. Oh, that looks awesome. Yeah, and then it goes back to purple. Wow. Dude, the Gerpler looks, oh, wow.

So it's the first, it's the green purple. It's a true gerpil with the color change effect. Yeah. Wow. I've never seen one change from cold before. oh yeah i haven't even tried hot i only tried cold i tried in the plastic cup i would think not to try hot in it maybe just in general

why wouldn't you put hot water in that cup i'm not going to put boiling water in it but warm water would be fine yeah i mean i guess you could i just don't i don't ever think to use a plastic cup for warm water do you use plastic cup for warm water i use plastic cup for everything who drinks one more i never want room temp water yeah i never want room temp water Yeah, I never really drink warm water But I wouldn't be scared to put warm water in that Super cool Pizza Hut cup that Yeah, it's scary

I got scared of it Anyway, it doesn't do anything at room temperature I tried room temperature water and I tried ice water And obviously the colder it gets the faster it changes And it is We're hoping to have it out Before the end of the year We initially tried to get a Halloween

Gerpler out What we were going to do is we had a we had a line on a glow-in-the-dark gurpler that we were very excited about launching for Halloween, but because of supply chain issues and tariffs and everything going on in the world, it was just impossible to get it in time, and we didn't want to release a Halloween-deemed gurpler in December.

That seemed dumb. So we pivoted to the next idea, which is one that we'd been holding on to for a little bit, which is the hyper-color gurpler that changes color based on water temperature changing. And so we are very excited. this we've in theory this has been a cool thing in theory for a while

like we've been seeing videos from the manufacturer but to actually have it in our hand and look at it and see that it is in every way a real Gerpler and then it actually works in my kitchen was really fucking cool and so I think we can finally talk about it and I'm excited to talk about it. We're going to have a Gerpler out

it's going to be cutting it close for Christmas like tail end we don't know exactly when we're still waiting to find that out but it in theory will be out before the end of the year So if it's based on cold, for me, there's that beer where, like, you see the mountains or whatever blue mountain, you know, it's like cold. Coors light, yeah. Yeah.

When it's gurpal, you know it's good to drink. That's absolutely right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good. That should be a thing, I think, in more foods and drinks in general. Foods especially. The ready to consume indicator? Yeah, I mean, it.

would probably be now that I'm just like saying it out loud because my first thought was like mashed potatoes if they change color when they were like correct doneness when you hit optimal doneness what color change what color did you want your mashed potatoes to be that's where it became a problem when I worked through this in my I mean have you ever cooked meat it goes from it changes color as you cook it right right but what about potatoes a lot of foods too That's true It just isn't as obvious Like in Sea of Thieves

When I cook a piece of meat It becomes golden, bright gold When it's done And there's more subtlety I mean I know when it's fully charred That I've gone too far But typically there will be a middle In meat that you want to hit

And I just feel like it requires more skill Than sometimes I have It definitely requires more skill In real life than in Sea of Thieves Like when I used to cook my hot dogs in the microwave and the plastic were at the top dogs you would know the top dog was done when the micro

the plastic exploded and then you would realize like okay it's done because of the steam I think plastic exploded yeah like it would burst at the seams because it was like it got all steamy and like I don't know how some science works and you're worried about drinking warm

water out of a gurp word I never said that I didn't like it I'm not worried about it. I just don't like room-temp water. I'm scared of it. That's fair. That's for bathing in,

is what I would think when I'm... Room temperature. Yeah, I'm fine with a room-temp bath. No, you're not. Absolutely, I am. No. What's comfortable about room-temper being submerged in room-temperature water? Like, wet air.

I like wet air. I prefer wet air than drier. Why? I'd say the more moist the air the better depending on the overall heat situation humidity's the fucking worst

like you want to sleep wet let me think about this all right go down on it cold cold wet yeah cold wet yeah yeah you want to be cold and wet in bed yeah oh yeah I do absolutely I do that's

great nothing great about it No, my favorite thing when I used to, I don't do this anymore, but when I was younger, my favorite sleep thing was I would sit and I'd be my shorts all year round and I'd keep my window open all year round and my feet, they would go like numb from the cold and I wouldn't notice because I was like playing stuff on my computers and then I'd go into bed and I'd realize, wow, my feet are frozen and it was very cozy getting them all heated up because I fell asleep in bed. I feel like maybe you should just get like an ice mat next to your bed like brush your teeth on ice and then by the time you get in bed fall cozy There's an extremeness to ice that I don't like Ice with a towel on it's too effective

So there's a temperature range you're looking for that's like above 33 degrees I need it to be Consistent the same I think Where you get spikes with ice If that makes sense I would say ice is very consistent assistant. No, but it mounts and then it becomes less.

We're cold air is cold air. Right, but it remains ice. No, it becomes water. I'm not an ice guy. So we hope you like the Gerpler. We're pretty excited about it. We'll have some other stuff too. We'll have some other stuff too at that same time.

So stay tuned. We'll have some more information on that stuff soon. Speaking of which, we need to figure out what the next three patches are and get those ordered. Yeah, we'll figure it out. We'll get to the bottom of that. I think Don Pedro, Don Zimmer. I have Don, I have Don Pedro, I have 501, and then

we just need the third one. Speaking of 501, did our best days of the week draft come out already? Yeah. Yeah, it did. Best and worst. I didn't realize. I unintentionally, this is a Patreon only one, is it? Although the worst day was Patreon. Okay, so it's public.

I accidentally drafted five. Oh, you did. I did the first of May, but I was thinking English, so it didn't occur to me, but... Wow. Interesting. An accidental, great pick. Yeah, that's awesome, dude. Wow.

You probably could have done, like... Nick seems impressed. Well, it's almost Thanksgiving, so he's focused on something else. Don't worry about Nick. He's got his best and worst days of the year ahead of him. He's locked and loaded. He's like, where he's just a couple weeks out from the highs and load. it would be interesting to take some of our numerical stuff

and focus on the dates and evaluate how those days were in the year so you got 1616 so January 6th you have one week first yeah great you just said uh September 8th would be another one I don't do we have another number uh hmm three four five six 7 8, 8, 9-30s.

Not related to the show. Numbers were kind of, like, laid in there. I mean, those are goof world holidays. They're pretty related to the show. But I mean, like, longer running bits. I see. Like, 16 is a very established number. 98, the last great year.

Very established. 501, as Gavin said. I don't think we have another one. I was thinking of, like, how, like, the Halo Day was, like, the 343rd day of the year. And then I was trying to figure out what the 501st day of the year was. And, uh, come on. God, damn. You would have to, you'd have to do that every two years.

But you could figure it out. All right, go. Oh. All right. Go. 501 minus 365 is 136, 136 days into the next year. So would that be like, April or seven? What is the 136 day of 2020?

What would the day be? May 17th, maybe? Oh, wow. How's that right? Maybe this. So May 17th. I don't fucking, listen, I don't trust Google since she gave me the wrong fucking bank's phone number ever again.

You're the one that keeps reading the Google AI thing. Stop reading the Google AI thing. No, skip it. Don't say I know. Stop doing it. What am I going to do? Talk to it. That's even worse.

You got scroll past it. Scroll down. So maybe every May 17th will celebrate the 5001st day of last year. That's fun. Yeah. May 17th is 501 day. Yeah. Not to be confused with May 1st.

5.1. Which would be the better pick. It would just, May 1st would just be the better pick for this. I don't know why we would do. We're celebrating the 500. first day of 2025 in 2020. Yeah. I mean, that seems very much like us.

Yeah, yeah, but we have the option to shift that gear and do something stronger. I'd tell you what we should do, though. We have the ability. We should add all of the f***ce episodes to regulation episodes and figure out episode 501. When it comes around, do something special. I think we're well past it, aren't we? No. No idea.

Are we not? Nick, if you had to guess, what do you think we're at? 207 290 300 something oh wow was that it geez we suck

well we only went like 206 episodes of face and then yeah I guess it just felt 79 of this one 5 oh 1 would be pushed in 10 years

of weekly episodes yeah have we not been doing that it feels like it yeah just no it just feels like it I guess yeah you guys seen the AI Coke commercial

for Christmas this year yeah oh no let me put it in here I have a question. I've been thinking about this a lot. It's terrible as you would anticipate with it being an AI thing.

It just looks like AI. But I was taking it back. And I know Coke kind of has a history of this a little bit, but I feel like this is it to extreme. Here's the commercial for you guys. It's not really all that important. Just start watching it, I guess. You don't need audio for it.

It's just a visual thing. I was watching this commercial. Oh, it looks like. And it's, yeah, it does look like shit. It's Santa. He opens Coke. and it's a, you get a car or whatever. It was a really long 18-wheeler.

It is, yeah. I mean, as a truck boys, we know that's absurd. It's like animals and stuff, and they're like all excited for the Coke. Is that a panda? What the fuck is a panda doing? Is that a Christmas panda? I believe it is a Christmas sloth.

A sloth? What is going on? Riff a seals. Hurts go south for the winter, damn you? Why did you? Why did the, make this. This is this sucks shit.

This is so bad. This is awful. This isn't even the commercial I was thinking it was, but this is fine. It still applies to my point. Does the Coca-Cola company know that people drink their drink, that people buy their drink?

No. Like, everything that they do is generated towards animals for their advertising. I'll say this about Coca-Cola. They are fucking crushing the competition. Yeah. Pepsi is barely in stores anymore. So whatever they're doing, polar bears or frogs or whatever the fuck it is, it's working.

It tastes better. Well, I disagree. I think Pepsi's better. But fucking Coke is definitely demolishing them with their AI animals. I feel like there's so many companies that go in on an animal that are nothing to do with animals. Yeah, I was thinking about, like, products, like, Charmin. I've never seen a person use their products. Bears and Rick's puppy.

You got the Geico. Charmin had Mr. Whipple, though, right? Yeah, that was like a long time ago. I don't know what that is. Yeah. Don't squeeze the Charmin. That's before that guy. Don't squeeze the Sharman.

Yeah, we talked about that guy. Yeah. I forgot about Whipple. It's weird. But, you know, he's probably been dead for 30 years. It's weird that around like 21 seconds on the ad. The logo is like glitched all around. They didn't even clean up their own logo.

It's really strange. And I want to propose to Pepsi, who's definitely listening to this right now, Pepsi, make a Christmas commercial, hire actors and make a Christmas commercial and, like, spike the lens and just talk about how Pepsi is for Christmas now. Have Kendall Jenner put a flower in a gun? But at Christmas. But at Christmas, yeah, Santa. She's putting a flower in Santa's gun. What I think a lot about with Coke is that it's like the number one drink

in the world. And they sell, you know, like a base of all sodas, obviously is water. And they sell a bottled water called DeSani. That is like the most hated bottled water in existence. Other dog shit. People fucking hate it. But Coke

is the number one drink in the world, which I'm assuming is the base de Sani is the base of the number one drink. So it's almost like if Nickelback was like, the foundation of the Beatles. And I think about that a lot. Like the most hated

dog shit thing is the foundation of the top product. Like the Beatles, the Nickelback premium? Yes. Like, the Beatles couldn't exist without the groundwork that Nickelback laid out.

This idea of like the shittiest thing being the base of undeniable. greatness, I think is so funny. I've never thought of it. I can't think of other examples of that.

We're like half the problem. If I ever found out there was Desani water in my Coke, I would never drink Coke again as long as I live. See, that's... That fucking Desani water tastes like drinking an oil slick. I think it got banned from England because they came over and just started selling local water with, like, magnesium in it.

I don't think it got... So I looked, maybe that's a different thing. I know it failed in the UK because it's I guess no different than tap water essentially and that really hurt the market I think they were literally just bottling the tap water in their warehouse

that's one of my most trash opinions is I actually really like DeSani but I know like it objectively is a bad water You know it is you like it more than just tap water or like different well I drink a lot of tap water so I don't think I necessarily like it more but if

it's there more popular bottled waters I like significantly less than the sun. God, we should do a blind water taste test with Andrew at some point. Yeah, I think we've talked about doing one of those. I absolutely hate uh, oh, I'm forgetting even

what the brand is called. I hate it so much. It's a popular one. How do you feel about Fiji? Fiji's fine. How do you feel about smart water? Smart water's fine. Ozarka Springs. Evian. What? Is Evian the one I hate?

There's one that's very silky. yeah it's Evian I fucking hate Evian Yeah I don't like Evian The Sani way better Silky Yeah it has a silky taste to it I don't like it

The sani to me has like a filmy taste Like I could almost see the surface I feel the same way It's fucking oily That's what it is It absolutely is yeah It was kind of a draft concept I had of like worst opinions

And that would be one of my leading ones As I know That's a great idea for draft What if we took cook all the, all the bottled waters and just boiled them off until there was nothing left and just looked at what was left on the plate and see which had the weirdest shit. It would have to be DeSani, right? Just all the extra mineral stuff they put in. Oh, yeah. Maybe. Maybe.

Well, I think, I think DeSani is a weird one where it actually has a lot less than the minerals. Because I think it's reverse-engineered Coke, if I'm correct. What is Coke with the Coke take it out? Yeah. What? What? I think it's like boiled down coke essentially. There's no way.

What are you? What are you saying? What are we going to do with all this extra coke? I'll boil it down. Like, what are you saying? I just don't even understand. So you're saying like they're evaporating off coke. They're collecting the water.

It becomes de sardy. And then what? They're having to throw away a vat of coke sludge. I don't know. Maybe that's where slurpiece come from. Maybe that's where Sopies come from. That's awesome.

Is the Sani boiled down Coke? What do you mean? The inefficiency, all the energy spending heated up that Coke to undo the Coke they made. Well, here's the thing.

The AI overview says no, which makes me feel pretty good about it. I'd be right. No, it doesn't yeah I don't know where I got that from you didn't really get that in a serious way though you didn't think oh yeah they take coke and make water

cycle water sold around the what do you think you're gonna find you think you're gonna find it it's just a thing I feel like I read that like and that kind of made like not the pro okay so the concept of that it had

nothing of value in it, because they were reverse engineering in some way, made sense to me. Reverse engineering. That's like trying to get flour out of bread. I don't know who would do that. We got to deconstruct this cake

back into its original ingredient. To me, it felt, like, I wondered if, because Coca-Cola is their leading product, right? And they're selling it nonstop. And they're like, you know what? We need a bottled water. Instead of trying to find a new source of the water for that, what if we just took what we were currently producing

and reversed it into just water. But why wouldn't they just take the water? Yeah, I mean, Coke is 90% water already. That would potentially, I guess, okay, this is my logic when I hear that. Because that would mean theoretically they could produce less Coke. But they're still producing the same amount of Coke. they're just reducing, they can control how much Coke they're using to make water.

Control how much Coke they're using to make water. Because Coca-Cola is always going to be profitable. It's always going to sell. And they can be like, you know what, we're going to take, and these are small numbers. So this is not realistic. We're going to take a gallon of our Coca-Cola and turn that in the water. And then they might adjust. They might make less water or more water, depending on how the sales get.

But what about the gallon of water they use to make the Coke? The what? They needed a gallon of water to make the Coke, which then you're going to turn around and turn back into the gallon of water. Yeah, but if you just sell the water, then you never had the Coke. Exactly. Right. Right.

But the water might not sell, but the Coke will. But you're not selling the Coke. You're selling water. Right. Yeah, but you can do it. Okay. I'm trying to stick feathers back on a chicken sandwich. Makes no sense.

What I'm trying to say, and I think it makes sense. I think I'm articulating it poorly. No, it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't. If you're articulating poorly, go again. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. Let me back up. Let me try it again.

If you were to sell something, right? Yeah. And you know for a fact that item A will sell. But item B may not sell. It might not do as good. Right. It's a coosler. Item A is a gerbler.

Item B is a coosler. So you make, you make as a, much of item A as you can, and in the attempt to make item B, it reduces the amount of item A you can make. If you have a constant maximum of item A, you can then distribute that and determine how much of item A you want to turn into B. That makes sense if there's a limited amount of the ingredients for the items, but there's not. They're both drawing from the same limitless amount of water. Yeah, I feel like there's not an, there's an unlimited supply of water. I mean, not actually, but

yeah, but for the purpose is the conversation. There's not an unlimited amount of the Coke bit. Like the bottleneck's not the water, surely. It's the shit they make. The Coke bit is rare than the water, is it not?

There's less Coke than drinkable water. Right. So why would you then further reduce the amount of Coke to make more drinkable water when there's already more than enough drinkable water. I love it when you return to me the thing that I just said in like a slightly disgusted voice.

No, that wasn't discussed. That was, there's, I'm processing. So there's more. There's way more water than Coke. So Coke, yeah, no, you're right. You're right. As we talk through this, you're right. Coke is a rare commodity,

so it wouldn't make sense to make the rare thing. Like if I sold wooden chairs, Right. I'm using a lot of wood to do that. But if I was going to sell people firewood, I wouldn't start smashing the chairs up. I would just not make some of the wood into chairs. That's actually an interesting thought, though. What do you mean? Why would you undo any work? Well, no. Just the idea of like, let's say you build a stool company, right? Yeah. and you make the stools a little longer than they need to be

because then they can make firewood of them. I just made... I just made them out of firewood, Andrew. They came from the wood. No, but I'm saying reverse that. I'm saying reverse engineer, the reverse engineer of what you did. I'm saying non-firewood...

My point is, is that you could actually shave wood from furniture to make firewood, and that's interesting to me. There would be less furniture, though. Yeah, that's the point, though. That's why it's a stool. It's too tall. So you cut parts of the lambs.

Eric, Eric. Yeah, I mean, do you see why I thought we'd done over 500 episodes? I'm not an innovator. When I want innovation, I go to the Pillsbury doughboy. That's okay. That's like saying... I like to check in on him. What if we made all of our Gerplers out of the shells of Xbox series X's?

might be expensive, I think All right, it'd be a bad idea I don't know From the way they seem to be selling There's probably plenty of extra product Nobody's using we can pull from Well, the shell part I guess is inexpensive It's the what's inside the shell

For you to go from like plastic pellets To that shell would be expensive If you had to make that happen I see what you mean I guess in my head it's different though because nobody's buying shells of Xboxes. People buy the Coca-Cola. What?

So if I'm working at, let's say I work at, I'm the CEO of Coke, right? Yeah. Oh, I would love that. Oh, can we do that for a week? I'm the CEO of Coke, and I say, I'm going to take, we could have made 500 gallons of Coca-Cola this month,

but instead, I chose to make 400 gallons, and then sold one. 100 gallons of water. And I feel like in my head, that's a tougher, like if that doesn't go well, I'm more at fault than if I would have just made 500 gallons of Coca-Cola and boiled down 100 gallons of it. If you made, if you spent, if you spent all the resources making Coke and then turning it into water and the water didn't sell, I don't know how you wouldn't be in more trouble for It would be, you might be in prison.

So, what you're describing is so much more expensive. Okay, this is what, but you're not even saying, you're right, you're right, no, I'm wrong, I'm wrong, I'm wrong, I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Because I'm thinking about these as singular entities. I'm not thinking about the fact that I'm also, to make the Coke, their syrup, their sugar. Well, yeah. I wasn't thinking about all the additional, like water and Coke both came from like hot springs. Like what are you talking about? But we could also pick your thing apart in two stages.

You're not only saying, hold back 100 gallons. We will make 400 gallons of Coke and sell 100 gallons of water. You are basically saying, make 500 gallons of Coke and then take 100 gallons to turn back into water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think it's probably the most wrong I've been on the show ever. That was, it's a terrible one of thought. It's been pretty special. It's been pretty special.

Are you still in possession of a Greg card? Would you like to use it here? No, no, there will be worse. There will be a worse thing, but I think this is the most wrong I've been. Okay. I just wasn't thinking about, like, yeah, the sugar people would be mad at me. The sugar people would be mad at me. Yeah, the sugar people, I think, would be, like, so mad at you.

Yeah, they're upset. Yeah. Like, you could potentially be onto something with sugar, like, say that they were making a candy or something, and they actually had a finite amount of sugar to split between the candy and the drinks. But what you're saying is, is so wild. don't, I, I don't believe that you thought that that could be an actual problem. What I'm trying to figure out now is what I, what there is, here's the thing about this. This is 99% wrong.

There is an inch of something here. That was right. I'm kidding. That was accurate. It was 99% wrong, but that last inch, I've never been more wrong in the history of the show. Absolutely. Here's where. I'm trying to argue why I'm right.

No, no, no. What I'm trying to find is what, what did I misinterpret, I guess, essentially? Because there is something I would love to know. In the line of what I was thinking that was accurate. Tell me about the inch. What bit was right? Or what bit made sense? Sounds to me like this is something for me to get to the bottom of.

Andrew in the angry inch. I called DeSani. You called DeSani? I'm just going to Google the Sani phone number. You're going to end up talking the Bank of America. See where they get the water from.

Do they get it from water or from Coke? Oh, this is... I wish I had a bottle on my desk. This would be a lot of easier about you there. Okay, it says crisp, clean, refreshment in every sip. Okay, that's not a phone number. That's marketing.

Yeah, I just... I don't think about drinks on a per-sip basis. You had more of like a per gulp or a guzzle. Just think of it as like a singular experience. A glug. Need help, yes. Contact us.

It would be fun to sell drinks by the glug or by the sip. Like what would be the biggest unit? A guzzle? I think lit as in fluid ounces are boring. Why do we do the thing where we put letters as numbers? What does that mean? It says contact consumer relations. 1-800 get-coke and then in brackets the number

that get-coke represents. Why do we do that? Because easier to remember to get-coke than the number. But then you have to remember what the letters associate with the numbers. They're on the phone. I think you just look at the phone. If we had a phone number to call you

and it was plus one, eat pencil, that's way easy to remember than 38-7-2-8-6-9-4. just FYI not to distract us but while I'm thinking about it while we're contacting Desani I reached out to the Bell Isle Aquarium today to see about sponsor

Oh, that's so exciting just where you guys know Yeah nice So I'll let you know as I hear back Cool While Andrew is trying to reach DeSani By figuring out his phone We should probably wrap this one up

We are deep We're deep in this one We gotta find the end here For donation requests, please press one. If you are interested in nutritional information for one of our products, please press two. I think it's that. Did you know that you can find nutritional information or information on bioengineered food disclosures online at HTPS-Colon forward slash forward slash co-URL.com? They lost me.

I don't want to. What are they talking about? It's too long. You were calling Pepsi the whole time. I was I had to get to the bottom of the Pepsi Coke URL.com Is their website?

That was the website. He said, Coke URL. I just went to it takes you to coca-dashcola.com. Cokerl. Oh my God, it does.

Weird. I just wanted to note that that's the most wrong I've ever been. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's still 1% that might be right, apparently.

No, not 1%. He's 99% wrong, but he's one. inch right. It might not even be right. I'm just curious why I thought that. Why I believe that? Because it really doesn't make sense on any of it.

You didn't believe that. Well, I thought it was like a fact. I thought it was a fun fact. Also, if you were 99% wrong and one inch right, that means you were 2.75 yards wrong. There you have it. Andrew, can I ask you a question as we wrap up here? Absolutely.

Yeah. Is that a fact? a fun fact you told people in the past? No, I was, it was, because I was reading about Desani recently. Okay, so it's not something that you've been saying incorrectly to friends. No, absolutely not. No, no, no, no. I haven't spread misinformation about Desani. It was more, I'd heard that, like, Desani makes you thirstier when you drink it than you would be

on a base of it. And there's something about, like, there's essentially no mineral content to Desani water. What is the longest you've been confidently wrong about something? do you think? Oh, the thing like I believe the most. Yeah. And then realized I was wrong about. Interesting. What is something? Uh, lyrics, probably. A lot of lyrics. That's a good one. Like I, I told way too many people in my 20s that it is completely and totally legal to piss on the street in Germany as long as you face away from the road. Because of my friend played a prank on me in Germany. And, uh, and I spent a month pissing on the street in Germany and somehow didn't get arrested. But, uh, I probably told a hundred people that. with intense honesty. You know, like, oh, if you go to Germany, don't forget, you can piss on the street. Just face away from the road.

It's no big deal. Don't have to look for a bathroom. They invented piss flaps. In England, they started putting piss flaps on buildings to get people to face inwards. I think I may have had one recently. I think I have a new one. Hugh Jackman is making a Neil Diamond movie

that nobody wants, that nobody needs. It's a biopic about Neil Diamond. And I think that I thought that one of of the Beastie Boys was the son of Neil Diamond. And that just isn't accurate. You thought Mike Diamond was the son of Neil Diamond? I think so. There was always that rumor that he and Erkel were brothers back in the day, too, but they are also not related.

Not Urkel, the other one, uh, squeaked. Dust and Diamond and Mike Diamond, yeah. Rest in peace. That's crazy. Because I was watching the trailer for it, which is not good. and I think a great miscalculation about people liking the song Sweet Caroline or I don't think I know anyone who likes it

at this. The entire city of Boston. Yeah, but that's it. And I was watching it and I was thinking like, it'll be interesting how they tie the Beastie Boys into this. And then I thought, I don't know that to be true. And I did some research in it. It's not. Although I think his dad,

one of the Beastie Boys' dad's last name is Diamond. So I was going to check if there was a relation, but I didn't get around to that. Where does Lou Diamond Phillips fit into all this? Well, it's his middle name. His last name is Phillips. So, is he La Bamba?

Yes. He is LeBomba. There you go. Another great music movie. Jeff. Yeah, that's me. Wrap it up. Oh, if you want me to, sure.

I can wrap this up. Hey, look at the time. It's already over this podcast. the episode 79 is in the books it is done sealed stamped and delivered thank you for listening maybe if you would be so kind you could tell a friend about this podcast and the the good work that we're doing here to save the fish of michigan and uh tune in next week for episode 80 we're gonna learn something really wrong from andrew maybe uh who knows i'm gonna get to the bottom of it i'm gonna i'll have an update in the sani wonder why i thought that okay

I'm going to wait a minute to say bye. I'm on the door.