F**kface - Geoff Puts His Anus Over the Pencil Grenade // Regulation Caboose [72]

Episode Date: October 13, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about taste receptors, Geoff still not throwing the ball, letting go of the pencil bet?, Geoff vs Tiger Balm Round 2, McDonald's Train Car, and Andrew knows Wendy from Wendy's. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14) and Raycon (http://buyraycon.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I don't like this search. What? I'm looking up stuff about things. What the fuck does that mean? What the fuck is that? You missed the whole thing. There was a whole argument at the end of uh yeah I guess last episode it'd be fair to say the end of it after it you left

there's a brief argument that uh I had to do some research on what was the argument I guess we should save it do I bring it up now I guess we're recording Gavin will be here in a minute it's about taste buds what about them we had a little bit of an argument

about taste buds and their possible locations where they can be in the body. They're on your tongue. They're on your tongue. I said that they were also in your ass, and that's why you felt spicy things. I forgot about this. I will say, and Gavin will have to corroborate this, there was a bit on the Howard...

Oh, I guess Eric would know too. There was a bit on the Howard Stern years ago where Richard Christie was able to correctly identify flavors of beer poured into his ass five out of six times i don't think that was to do with any taste bud though i just assume that was sort of the feel and maybe the aroma what do you mean the feel the anal feel of beer what do you mean well you've you've got nerves. Okay, but you... I don't. I don't think I could tell the feel if it was in my mouth. If you pour me, like, seven different types of drinks... Liquid's liquid. It's... Yeah,

it's liquid. You can just... You can tell, like, carbonation or viscosity through your mouth. I get... But, I... That's not, like, taste. Taste would be the factor, not feel. I bet you all liquids feel the same. Yeah, I'm kind of with Andrew on that.

I mean, maybe not identical, but I don't think six beers feel different enough to tell with your butthole. Maybe you could tell the difference between like motor oil and like Pepsi or something. But I don't know that you could tell the difference from beer to beer. Yeah. Well, how come you don't taste a poo coming out then?

Oh, that's a... I don't like that. Well, you're the one who said you got a taste taste a poo coming out then oh that's a fuck uh i don't like that well you're the one who said you got taste but that's what i thought that's what i heard so i i did some research from what do you mean i don't know where do you learn anything i can't source most of the stuff i've learned where did you learn well no that was gonna be a real dumb one wow i'm glad i'm glad i cut myself that was going to be a real dumb one. Wow, I'm glad I cut myself. That was close. What was that going to be? No, don't worry about it.

We're good. But I did some Googles. I did some Googling, and I found out there are not taste buds in your ass. That was wrong, but I was directionally correct. There are taste receptors in your ass as well as all over your body. You got taste receptors all over the place. I think they're your balls They're everywhere. They're in useless place to go out there. I don't know they're in useless place

It sounded like science so from my interpretation scientists were like where their taste receptors. Holy fuck their taste receptors everywhere We don't know why we don't know why this is this way, but you got them all over the place Including the butt including the asshole. I don't think I've ever tasted anything with anything else. Like, on purpose? Like, what do you mean? I know what he means. I know what he means. He's never noticed a taste on anything on his

body other than his tongue. Yeah, I've never like, lying down on a sun lounger and like, blech. Or he never like, spilled chocolate shake on his knee and went, oh, I can still taste it. Well, I'm not a scientist. I'm not a doctor. I don't know how these, they work.

But I do know they're there. I do trust smarter, more generally educated and informed people about taste receptors are saying that there are taste receptors in your ass and I will trust those people. I agree, dude. I that there are taste receptors in your ass, and I will trust those people. I agree, dude. I think you can taste stuff with your butthole.

Totally. No, I don't. I believe every taste bud also has taste receptors, but not every taste receptor has a bud. It's how that works out. So the question is, will Jeff taste his milk icicle? That is a great question. Yeah, that is sort of what led into this.

Hold on. Jeff, did you do your homework we're getting off track uh first off hello and welcome to another episode of face i believe it is episode 72 uh my name is jeff and with me as always andrew and brick how are you guys doing i'm doing great i feel like i've established some solid points in this episode i think this one's going well for me. I like this one. I wonder, I mean, I get that a taste of bud is... Oh, by the way, but you didn't say how you're doing, Brick.

That's me, right? Yeah. That's what we determined last week. It's a triangle. I'll be honest. Last week, my internet was cutting out left and right, and I can't remember a lot that happened. At one point, Andrew was about to say something funny, and I can't remember a lot that happened. At one point, Andrew was about to say something funny,

and I didn't hear the end of it. And then when I heard the sound come back on, he was mad that neither of us reacted to it. So I was like, ooh, I feel like I missed out on something there. I guess you haven't been able to listen to that episode yet either. I don't know if this was on, if we captured this on audio or not, but that episode stepped down. We stepped down from that episode, and we were like, that was

one of the better episodes we've done in a while. I felt really good about it. Really great. And you were like, I have no, I didn't hear any of it. I have no idea what happened. I heard the back half of a lot of sentences, and I said a lot of stuff followed by silence. But who knows how it turned out.

From what I remember, from what I did experience, I do remember it being quite a nice one. Yeah, it was a goodie. That was a great pivot though, Jeff. Have you done your homework? What is... Let's focus back on that.

How's your homework going? You do your homework? Oh, yeah. I picked Tiffany. I think she's going to win Survivor. Thanks for asking. Gavin, who did you pick? That was not the homework.

I picked Howard Stern. Right, right right right right you picked that guy uh anyway uh what's new with you guys uh what's new is i was just curious if you did the homework of trying the product that you've been trying to pitch for the last last episode 40 minutes of last episode any update on that uh hold on a second let me think about if i can remember what you're talking about uh this is an old bit we did a while back oh uh i tried beef beef bracelet portmanteau yep sure it was that one it wasn't it wasn't the one where you covered your ass in tiger bomb and then was surprised like i can i can smell loya's coming on the worst part is i don't even know if if Gavin can back me up because he missed all of last episode. So I feel like this is really

I'm in a corner here. I'll be honest. I don't remember what you're talking about, but that's not to say it didn't happen. Was this something, was this pencil related? No, no. It was like the pencil equivalent of your asshole though. It looked like a pencil.

Yeah. It was more like a blade i would say it's very sharp it's a weapon you know i'll be honest with you guys i've been so busy doing other stuff i didn't remember to stick a fucking a joke popsicle up my asshole yeah i just it slipped my mind i'm real sorry That's the best place it can slip, probably. I'm real sorry, but I also... I gotta be honest with you. At 46 years old,

I don't know that my prop icicle up my asshole covered in Tiger Balm days aren't behind me. It may be a younger man's game. It might be. I can see that. What if we sub the pencil for the ice pick I'll tell you what the icicle I'll tell you what I did do okay I scheduled a colonoscopy that'll be way more invasive okay I mean what so is

there I've never had a colonoscopy is there pain afterward I'd assume is it uh no not at all usually you're asleep the whole time but there's but it's more invasive it is more invasive but it's just curious snake a can they toilet snake a camera through you i'm just i was curious if you would need like some ice in the hole if that would be good if like if there's some swelling down there it could be like a multi-use product the problem with the colonoscopy is the prep that's all the shit you gotta drink to clean yourself and then all the shit you gotta shit it's the it's the it's like the 48 hours of your brains out and then like having to drink 18 gallons of this gross contact liquid i'm just

imagining a cut man with one of your your popsicles as like a scenario in which that could be needed how terrifying that'd be he's got like the lube, the wraps. I'll be honest, I was hoping against hope that you would forget. Oh no, that's not the only thing I haven't forgot about, Jeff. Jeff, how fast have you been able to throw a baseball?

That was a few weeks ago at this point. What's your bottom number? Oh, we haven't done it yet. I saw the ball. Gavin's on the ball though, we haven't done it yet. I saw the ball. Gavin saw the ball, though. Why haven't you thrown the ball yet? My favorite thing about the ball is that there's three digits on it. Like, who's thrown 100 miles an hour that thing? I don't know.

It goes up to 120. So, you know. 120? They wouldn't put it there if there wasn't a need. Why haven't you thrown it? I'm all about throwing the ball. I don't know because it hasn't been... I feel like at this point, it's a thing.

If we're going to do it, there's got to be... We've got to film it, right? No, well... Yeah, film it now. Yeah, I don't... I can't... It doesn't need to be a thing. You setting the low bar.

The thing is three months from when you throw it. That's the thing. Trying to hit the number. Did we determine it was three months? Yes. Yes, we did. From the point of you throwing, you have three months to prepare for the second throw. When did we land on three months?

You said it in an episode like three episodes ago. Or whenever we brought it up. You're like, I'll throw it and then in three months, I'll give another three. I doubt I was that definitive. I was probably like, in a few months, three or six. Because I feel I was that definitive. I was probably like in a few words. You were very because I feel like six is probably closer to what? But I don't know.

We don't know because I will say it depends. Hold on. Two episodes ago, you said about six months, I think, is what Nick said. OK, that's fair. He typoed that. Oh, yeah. He didn't typo. You misread his three as a six.

Two episodes ago, you said about six months. I think then Eric said six months. Then Nick said six. And then he said it in Spanish. He said six. Hey, guys, what's up? Producer Eric here. How's it going? So just wanted to step in and get a definitive call on this.

Jeff said that he would need three months to train from the first throw of the baseball. So he was going to throw the baseball, get a baseline for how fast he could throw. And then with his shoulder that I think is the one with arthritis, he's going to throw 80 miles an hour. Uh, just after he has set his initial baseline, he said he needed three months to train. And then at that point,

what we're going to do is film it in slow motion, get an umpire, a catcher and a guy with a radar gun. We're going to go out to a field and Jeff is going to throw is film it in slow motion, get an umpire, a catcher, and a guy with a radar gun. We're going to go out to a field, and Jeff is going to throw a baseball probably 72 miles an hour. Well, that would be eight miles under what I need. I like the idea that you think you just need three more months to do it. That's what I appreciate about you right now.

It'll be like three months a little tight, but six months, I can definitely do it in six months. Three months from when I throw the first baseball. I'm saying I don't think we could give you six years. I don't think it makes a difference. Oh, it'll definitely happen in six years. Why don't we do a tiered system then? You get first prize if you do it in three months.

I'll do it in six years. You get like bronze. We don't need that. We'll do three months and that's what it is. We'll throw the baseball soon. We have to figure out how to set the distance or whatever on it. We'll throw the little baseball soon. We'll film that. We'll get it

officially recorded and then we'll go from there. Okay. But I'm not the producer of the show so I can you know. Well you're the one with the baseball. So I feel like you have agency over what it's thrown. You have all the pieces. I don't know what the producer has to do with it.

It's literally, you just need an iPhone. You throw a ball against a wall, see it's like 40. You know what I'm hearing? I'm hearing you produce this bit. That's awesome, dude. What a producer would do. Great job. I'm not producing.

I'm just telling you how to do this very simple thing that you're avoiding because you're scared. You're backing down from the 80. I'm not scared. Oh, no, no, no. I'm not scared at all. I think 80 is highly doable, and I have every confidence

that I can throw this ball 80 miles an hour. You don't have to worry about it. Do you need help setting the distance and filming it, Jeff? Yeah. I don't think you need slow motion. distance and filming it, Jeff? Yeah. I don't think you need slow motion. Here's what I need. Here's what I need. I need somebody else in f***ing face to lift a finger to help me. Well, I've lifted fingers

before. I feel like Gavin's lifted it all. I could do it again. I really appreciate it. I really appreciate it that time you did it. I didn't know you needed help initially throwing the ball. You said you were just going to throw the ball. I didn't know that you needed... If I would have known that, we would have already gotten this going. Yeah, let's do it, man.

I thought this was all hinging on you throwing the ball. Yes. I got to throw the ball to set the base time. Right. I didn't know you needed help with that. Well, I figure I didn't initially, but now that it's become a thing, if it's going to end up on YouTube, if it's going to be a whole deal, then I think it should be treated as something we should have. It was always a thing, it's gonna end up on YouTube if it's gonna be a whole deal Then I think it should be treated

It was always a thing but the thing was the second part the first part was never the thing the thing is you try to actually Set 80 because we all kind of video 80 What kind of video do you have where I we don't see the first part and then you just see me throw it 80 miles an Hour there's no fucking we have a video. That's not gonna exist an hour. You don't need a fucking We have a video that's not gonna exist. You're gonna have, you need a video of me throwing it in the high 50s, early 60s, and

then you need a video of me throwing it 81, 82, like Michael Jensen. I just love the idea of trying to sell this YouTube channel. We have videos such as Jeff rides a bike. Jeff throws a ball. It's really top-notch stuff. And you ride a jet ski.

You think that you're gonna top out in your first throw. It's really top-notch stuff. And you ride a jet ski. And me on a jet ski. You think that you're going to top out in your first throw, you think you're going to throw 58 miles an hour, and then in three months, you're going to throw 80 miles an hour? Is that what you just said? I think my first throw, after not throwing a baseball for however many years, will probably not be representative of what i could do with even three or four days of training have you thrown the ball at all no

any for us no i don't understand i think he needs help with the measurement because you need to set a distance and i assume it calculates from when it goes from zero g to when it feels an impact so if it doesn't know the set distance it doesn't know the speed yeah he's got a point it's a lot of math involved i think it's just maths it's a maths ball yeah i don't okay well you should throw a baseball so we get a base number and you can begin your training i'm very excited to see you train 60 feet six inches is how far it needs to go. That's very specific.

I have my burger confidence. I'm irrationally confident about burgers, historically. Jeff is absurd with his baseball throwing speed. He's got baseball confidence. I'm curious what your confidence is, Gavin. We haven't encountered it yet, I don't think. What is the thing that you irrationally believe in yourself being able to do? That's interesting.

Have you ever had one? I think I've yet to find my confidence. Like just in general or within a bit for this? There has had to have been a time where you're like, I can do a little bit of this and you're way off. A little bit of both. I feel like Jeff knows something I don't. I'm just laughing and I've yet to find my confidence. I'm getting it someday.

I'm trying to think. Yeah, I mean, I don't think I've ever been as confident, Andrew, as you were that you could eat burgers. But also that resulted in nothing for you because you've still never done that or come close. I've come close. I reject that. The second time I did it, I ate like 42 of that, or come close. I've come close. I reject that. The second time I did it, I ate like 42 of them.

I got close. I thought the second time you did it, you ordered the wrong ones and then stopped halfway through. No, that was the third attempt. Yeah, that was try number three. Look, if you were 42 in, away from 50, that's way closer than 58 miles an hour to 80. So I would say you're closer to your burger victory than Jeff is from his baseball victory.

That's a fantastic point. Do you think? And I didn't do any training for mine. I just showed up. I don't know about that. You train every day. No. You train three times a day, motherfucker.

That's like if you showed up to a marathon and did no running was like I walk I walk every day I've been training if it's a walking marathon then you're training every day No, it's not training just because you know it doesn't make a competition and you eat every day. That's training That's not training it is training That's not no I reject this training it is training that's not no i reject this it's a ridiculous by eating eating one burger a day you're trying if i was eating a burger a day that might be training i i could maybe see that point that's such a specific food i don't really need burgers just general eating isn't training i'm not fucking eating popcorn at the movie theater being like i'm'm training, I'm working, I'm putting in the extra time.

I'm getting a refill like I'm in the gym right now. What if you ate it really fast? You're training. Speed has nothing to do with it. It's a different texture, first of all. It's like a different climate. Speed had everything to do with it. You were saying speed, if you ate it fast enough,

your body wouldn't realize it's full. Yeah, but it's not. It's like if you're playing tennis and you're fucking playing on clay courts, it's not going to be the same when you're playing on different courts. I love the whole of you. Yeah, but you're still playing tennis. You're still training at tennis. All of your analogies involve tennis.

What do you mean? The second one in two weeks. What was my other tennis night? You were like writing a letter. It's like if every tennis hit was a different game or something. What is it with you and tennis? I don't remember the other one. Let me tell you about a drill we used to do called the sewing machine.

Back when I played tennis. You like tennis almost as much as you like honey mustard. Oh, not even close. I'm pretty indifferent to tennis. Tennis is a great if it's on, I'll watch it type sport. It's fun, but I'm never chasing. I'm just relating it to how many times you brought it up without okay let me think of a different what's uh what's an analogy where you're doing something is uh is walking training for swimming those aren't the same things you're moving your legs in both jesus you can't apply

those two things is the same. Those are different things. You've lost me now. No, but I would say that... Well, you've got to kick your legs when you swim. I would say dog paddling in a pool is probably training for swimming. Yeah, but that's swimming. Yeah, so eating is eating. No, but it's different because the part of eating...

Ingesting food... The part of your mouth down your throat and into your stomach it's not the function of eating competitive eating isn't training for the function of eating it's the storage of the food that is what you train for also like jaw things i guess that is technically more like the chewing you gotta build up your muscles you gotta get your strength the majority of practice your training technique i'm sure it's all about that there's no chewing technique like like choo choo uh choo choo uh or like some people are probably like choo choo choo choo choo choo you don't know no you're not a professional i do

i'm not but i did research one night before i was gonna do the thing and it sounds like from my understanding, it's about just creating space in your stomach. Essentially like stretching your stomach out, getting it comfortable with expanding it so you can store more than the base stomach. That's where the training... You told us that you were training your brain

to eat quickly because you'd be further along before your brain caught up or some shit. You had all kinds of other... No, I was just trying to go fast because I figured if I ate as much as possible, my brain wouldn't know what was happening until I got further along. And it worked on the second one. I feel like, as you know, Andrew, it's your redemption year.

I feel like maybe a fourth attempt might be on the cards. No, here's the thing about the burgers. When you do the burgers, it takes a lot out of you. You lose a part of your soul every time you go into that McDonald's bag. So you've lost three chunks of soul? I've lost more than three chunks. Do you know what you haven't had to do? Stick a milk popsicle up your asshole.

Talk about losing a piece of your soul. I'm going to stab my soul. Well, that's what I was saying. I think we could potentially write off the entire pencil punishment and just have Andrew do the milk popsicle. Oh. No. I'm not the one selling it. That was my issue

with Jeff is that he spent 40 minutes talking about how great it is. Yeah, but you can effectively erase a debt here. And it is the redemption year. I'm going to erase a debt by doing Jeff's debt in a bet that I lost to you. Is that what you're saying? Is that how that works? I owe the pencil because of bet that I lost to you? Is that what you're saying? Is that how that works? I owe the pencil because of a bet I lost to you.

You owe the audience the pencil. No, I owe you the pencil. The audience is just demanding it, but I owe you the pencil. The comment leavers have failed to stop leaving comments about the pencil, Andrew. I haven't made a bet with the comment leavers. I made a bet with you, and I made a bet with you and i lost that in

front can i just say it doesn't matter who's in front what's that jeff as a not just just a little aside because this goes into something that i wanted to talk about briefly anyway uh there was a sub there was a a thread on reddit i don't know if either of you or uh if you guys any of you saw it uh recently it was somebody uh got the billy ripken face card and posted it and then there was like hundreds of people in the comments but the top comment on the billy ripken like just in like baseball cards or whatever thread is eat the pencil andrew it is the top fucking comment on some other subreddit about that baseball card and then there's about 500 other face comments which is awesome to go to some other cornerreddit about that baseball card. And then there's about 500 other f***face comments, which

is awesome to go to some other corner of the internet and find f***facers, comment leavers going nuts, but it is literally eat the pencil Andrew is the number one comment, which I just find to be very funny. I mean, what more of a perfect end to your redemption year, Andrew, than to eat the pencil

or to swap But you're not pitching that. You're saying what more than a perfect end to your redemption year than you not doing the thing people are demanding and instead do a thing that Jeff said he would do.

I'll be right back. It makes no sense, Gavin. I just want your redemption year to be as whole as possible and I feel like you're off to a good start but you haven't redeemed yourself in like two months I want it to be as whole as it can while avoiding certain holes I will cover upper holes I'm okay with to make it whole lower holes not

what if I because here's the thing yeah you got taste receptors in your mouth yeah that's true could i just try could i do the same test with the mouth what test i need to look into tiger bomb oh well to test the efficiency because that's really where this comes down to it's an efficiency test of how quickly you can remove the spice yeah i don't know like i don't think we know if milk actually counters the spice of a tiger

bomb ointment at all i think that's that was the basis we're thinking that it's only the uh the peppers the hot peppers yeah the uh oh what's it called the uh fucking shit i'm not gonna remember it the jalapenos i don't know why i'm still trying no not that there's a word for it there's a specific spice word people are like oh it has this many of those oh you're yeah the scoville yeah that's what i was thinking of so where did you go jeff i here's what i've done uh because i don't want to well first off i got to thinking about it uh i don't want to rile the comment levers up because they get you start talking pencils and they go they get whipped up into a frenzy and it's the same thing with uh the

port-a-potties or the sauces i don't want to i don't want to turn this into a whole other sauce thing so while you guys were arguing about capsaicin or whatever uh i went ahead and just say we'll see what happens i went and i got uh i cracked open a new container of tiger bomb ultra and i put just the tiniest bit of my butthole so i'm just gonna sit here and i'm gonna deal with that what is wrong with I'm going to deal with that. What is wrong with you? I'm going to deal with that while we're sitting here, and if it's bad enough, I may not have a choice.

What? He wasn't filming himself throw a baseball, but he'll just put Tiger Bomb in his ass on an audio podcast. Yeah, I mean, I put Tiger Bomb on my balls on Achievement Hunter video once. It's like, that part's easy. The hard part to me is to mentally, you know, get there to put that thing in my butthole. But if I'm in such excruciating pain. Is that wise right before a colonoscopy?

That's a couple months ago. I just scheduled it. I'm also, do you have a no spicy icy? Is that what it was called? Do you have one on hand? The no spicy? Yeah, I got the original. I got the prototype. What do you mean a no spicy icy? Is that what it was called? Do you have one on hand? The no spicy? Yeah, I got the original. I got the prototype.

What do you mean? You still have the original? It's been in my freezer this whole time. That makes it so much worse for whatever reason. Well, it's like two weeks old. Yeah, the older it gets, like even though it's just a frozen product, I don't. Hey, I'll tell you what my asshole doesn't have. Taste buds.

The taste receptors in my butthole aren't going to care. That's true. That's true. That's fair. Okay. It's a wild move by you. Nick has a good point here. He says, hopefully it's not freezer bird. Yeah, I'm sure it is.

I'm also not sure it's going anywhere near me. We're just going to see how bad this... And I'll be honest with you. It's getting. It's getting. It's getting. It's getting. So where would you rate the uncomfortable?

How uncomfortable is it currently between one and ten? Sounds like it got in his mouth. It's. How close is your mouth to your asshole? Why? It's not. It's making me cough for some your mouth to your asshole? Why? It's not. It's making me cough for some reason, and I'm sweating. I'm sweating like I'm outside.

It's like, oh, my God. What does it taste like, Jeff? It's not good. This is the new drinking from a can without burping. He's going to do this every week. No, I'm not. I'm not doing this again. I'm not doing this again.

I don't know why I made me cough, but it also cleared my nose out. You can clear your nose out through your asshole. Fix vapor up your anus. It goes all the way. It goes straight into you. I don't know why you did this. I don't know why you're willing to do this, but you won't throw a baseball.

I wanted to calm the pencil beast. That's all. Okay. I respect that, but it seems, you know. I did it out of abundance of love for you, Andrew. You did. You jumped on the grenade. You jumped on the pencil grenade. It was. It was very considerate of you, Geoff.

I appreciate your suffering. Geoff put his anus over the pencil grenade. He did. I don't know why it's making me cry. How did you apply it to your anus? With your finger? That I cleaned after. Yes. I washed my hands. See, I can't tell if I'm

shitting right now or not. You did it quite early in the podcast. We still got like half of it left. Yeah. Well, I figured I'd... We'll see. Andrew usually suddenly does something right at the end,

but not usually in the first half. Well, see, if I did it at the end, if I did it at the end, then I could just wait out the podcast ending and then I wouldn't have to face the popsicle, which I'm still, you know, not super on board with. Just so you guys know. Well, you don't have to.

I was just curious if you did the homework. That's really where this stemmed from. No, I didn't. I didn't. And I'm taking the punishment. I did my homework. My homework is done done you want to give us a homework update you get us a you get us a you got us a jet ski i've i've secured secured some aquatic vehicles that's all i'll say that was the standard last time i've uh i've reached out i've acquired what we need. Jet skis are in hand, possibly. I don't want to tip my hand.

It'll be a nice surprise, but we got them. I did mine. I did my part. I don't like the way you phrased it as aquatic vehicles. It was like how you phrased writing utensil. We don't know what that's going to mean. It's a jet ski. I think that's fair. I got us what we needed i did

my part you i did my part i just wanted to give an update on the fireworks on the back haven't you that's that's a jet ski to you what have you what have you made i haven't made anything i did not make a single thing i've acquired this is a product we're good i've done my part aren't we supposed to do something in GTA? Yes. Or something? First, I don't know why you made me do the homework of acquiring the vehicles before we did the part where we're going to test in a video game if it was worth doing. But I've done my part.

I tried to actually set that up today and I realized I didn't have GTA installed and it takes a fucking year to install. So it's installing in the background right now so that I can build that map for us. Okay. How's everybody? us. I'm excited. Is everybody else hot? God damn. I don't even get a drink. I'll be back. I can get a drink.

I suffered a great betrayal. Where do you think he's going to pull the drink? What's the betrayal? That's a great question. I'd assume the mouth. I don't think the ass you think that jeff has like a butt chug type setup for if you were going to try to alleviate would you use water like what liquid would you use to on a hot ass yeah yes probably just cold water yeah i think i'd probably i'd probably lie down in the bath, swing the old legs,

you know, knees up towards the head and turn on the cold tap. I think I'd go sparkling water, personally. I want a little bit of bubble. Make it a little bit fun. Why? You'd add fizz to a tangy anus? Yeah. Sounds like a nightmare.

The bubbling would be a nightmare. It just sounds like a fun time. Normal water is bland. It's been an anus-heavy couple of weeks, and I think Jeff has guaranteed that by putting something into his this episode. Yeah, we're not a... We're not a podcast about...

We're not a podcast about sports, Survivor, or buttholesoles but they come up a lot oh oh i have a my great betrayal my pillow wall betrayed me i got betrayed do you wake up with a stiff neck oh no that has never happened did it collapse on you and bury you no well sort of it didn't bury me so we i had a whole issue i i took some damage the pillow wall fell down it was a great collapse of the pillow wall but i wasn't in the bed when it fell i just climbed into bed and i hate laying on pillows that are on me like underneath me i find it super uncomfortable i need to i like if it's on my body don't like it. I need to have my head or shoulder as the main point of contact.

So I slid down the bed, and because the pillow was in, like, the middle of the bed, my feet were hanging out the bottom of the bed by quite a lot. And I'm not a fan of that either. I still have it baked into, when I was a kid, you know, like the monster under the bed type thing. I don't like any limb or my feet sticking out the bottom. It's just easy to grab. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it.

I'm not a fan of it at all. But I slept like that one night. It was terrible. So the next day or I guess a few days later, I was sleeping in my bed and I was dreaming that I was back in that scenario again. My dream was that I was in the middle of the bed. My feet were sticking out. I was like, oh, this is no good. was in the middle of the bed, my feet were sticking out, and I was like, ah, this is no good.

I got to climb up the bed. Smash my head into the wall. I was already at the top of the bed. I went full force, head first, forehead first, into my wall, smashed it against it. Wait, so you were lying down in bed, dreaming that you were lying down in bed, but a foot further down?

Yes. Yes, that was my dream. And in the in the dream i was like i need to get hired there was no higher to go but in my dream i picked myself up off the bed and like threw myself upwards and i went straight into the wall was i just lifted up and headbutted it what time is is it when this happens it It's like 7.30 a.m. maybe. And you're dead ass asleep? I was dead ass asleep and I got woken up and it fucking, it was not good. Is it dark in the room? Oh, it's so bright. As I said before, my blinds are some bullshit.

They don't block anything. So it's super bright. I'm very confused. I'm angry at my dream. I'm angry at my pillow wall for deceiving me. This deception caused by caused by collapsing how was none of it of like all the seven or eight pillows how was none of them against the wall though because i was at the very top of the wall so they were i was still it doesn't make any sense still i've seen pictures of it i know how are you sleeping on the top of the eighth pillow how How is your back not upright?

Oh, I'm on my side. So it was a side dive into the wall, and I bring some of the pillows down with me, I guess. I don't know, but yeah. I woke up to me slamming my head into my wall. I like stuff that makes you bad. Like when you had to take a hate nap. Oh, yeah. What's the most annoyed you've been recently

over something that doesn't matter like long term in your life oh the most like slipping on a sushi container or something small like that that's not even that was funny i was laughing when i fell on the sushi container yeah i just mean something as inconsequential as that the most inconse that i was angry about that i was like genuinely frustrated about? Yeah. Uh, fuck. Um, hmm. I don't get frustrated all that often. I was as frustrated about...

I'm not sure if we talked about it on this podcast or a different one. Did I talk about what always makes me like 10 out of 10 angry suddenly and it's really irrational? No. No. It's if I... It doesn't really happen anymore because of wireless headphones but if i ever had like headphones in on a wire and i caught it on like a door handle or something and it ripped

the headphones out of my ears it just really pissed me off to the point where i was like way more annoyed than most other things i would go to like from like one out of ten to ten out of ten for like five seconds and then back down to one but i can't describe why that's so annoying to me i just i freaking hate it when that happens well luckily that oh man my butt that uh luckily that should never happen to you again right because you'll just use earbuds right uh maybe that problem's solved you know i got i have one and it involves you oh man it involves me yeah i got irrationally angry at you for like two seconds last night when i looked over at you and you were smirking when it looked like my character and survivor was trying to hang herself uh and get voted out

and i was like you motherfucker i was i was out. And I was like, you motherfucker. I was angry at you for like two seconds. And I gave it a little like... But you could have been angry-agree. I was for like one second. I was like, you... We're off duty. You have that ability.

She was so close to going. Yeah. I don't want us to go necessarily too far down the survivor rabbit hole no that's not that's one of the worst picks i've ever seen jeff that was a horrendous pick i didn't process at the time when you texted it last night what a dog shit pick by no no i 0 chance did that happen i completely and totally agree with you andrew here's here's how that went so i thought when we uh i thought when we were gonna pick survivor the way emily and i always do it is we pick who we think is gonna win in the opening episode when they do the first reveal with the name in the montage with the names and the characters i picked her there because she had like a cancer surviving story she was you know she's a double mastectomy survivor uh it was like

inspirational i know that survivor tends to they the editors tend to love those kinds of stories cancer surviving story. She was, you know, she's a double mastectomy survivor. Uh, it was like inspirational. I know that survivor tends to, they, the editors tend to love those kinds of stories and those people tend to go far. Uh, and they also have like a new lease on life and they tend to be like, be able to push themselves further and stuff.

Cause they like, no matter how bad this is, it's probably not as bad as what they've gone through previously, you know? So I feel like some, sometimes those people tend to like, tend to rise to the top, uh,

in survivor. And so I made the decision then in my head, and then when we didn't end up picking until later on at the end of the next season, I thought, well, to be fair to the way I play it anyway, I'll just stick with who my first thought was, because that's who my first thought was. And I don't think she'll win,

and I'm amazed that she didn't get herself voted out this week. Well, I picked the guy that looks like Dave England and Howard Stern had a baby. He's my favorite character of the show so far. I think he's got what it takes. No, I think he will make it to the end. I'm just surprised. So they did their whole montage.

You're right, Jeff. Her whole story, very inspiring. Also, a key part of her story was that she was almost not on the show. It sounded like she was a replacement for a replacement. She was. Yeah. So I don't, I'm surprised that that also didn't factor in.

Like clearly not a top first round draft pick. It was meant to be. Okay. Fair enough. I like Gavin's pick more, and I thought, I think I was so distracted by Gavin's pick that I completely missed yours.

And that is the end pick the end of survivor. Yeah. We're not going to talk about that anymore. I, uh, Oh man. How's your, I really wish I had you.

Okay. It's not good. I mean, it's like, it's, it's making me tired. Like I'm, it's sapping my energy,

you know, because it doesn't, it doesn't get any worse or get any better. It's just like you maintain this level of ass pain. And then, so you just have to have to, it's sapping my energy, you know? Because it doesn't get any worse or get any better. It's just like you maintain this level of ass pain, and then so you just have to have to... It just, like, it drains your energy level. Fall can be hectic, but thanks to HelloFresh, you can save time and effort and money and energy and all of that stuff you would be spending

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in my F*** Face notes that I don't understand. Okay. Bog roll folders. Similar to bog roll folders. I don't know what this means. Okay, this is the note. Timing piss is wrong.

Anyone else suck the glass? Timing piss is wrong. So, the suck... What could that mean? Suck the glass could be in reference to when I gave myself hickeys. Sucking the bottle cap, maybe? We talked about glass sucking at that time.

I don't know if that's related to that. Timing pissing. I'm thinking about Austin Powers. I don't know. Is this a recent? When do you write your notes? This is a fairly... This is probably the last two months. No don't can't oh nick says is this

a drink contest so you can go the longest without pissing no i don't think it's that is that your confidence do you have piss confidence no i don't have piss confidence narrow that off the list what could that mean comment leavers um let me know if by the way can i just say this is perfect retribution for me for all the years you made fun of me for if you know what that means. By the way, can I just say, this is perfect retribution for me for all the years you made fun of me for not understanding my notes that I would write in the idea book. I love this.

And I was sober when I wrote that. I had a realization. I know, Jeff, you've seen it. I've talked to Eric about it. Gavin has no idea. I'd love to ask Gavin this question. Okay. Just to see about it. Gavin has no idea. I'd love to ask Gavin this question. Okay. Just to see

his perspective. Have you ever seen a train car outside of a McDonald's? No. So I, the McDonald's where I grew up, both of them had train cars outside of them. What, just on the street? What do you mean? On a track? No,

like right next to the restaurant. Like they were connected to the, they were right outside. They were like probably like, I don? No, like right next to the restaurant. They were connected to the... They were right outside. They were probably like, I don't know, 15 feet away from the restaurant typically to the side. When you'd have a birthday party, that's where they'd hold the party. All the kids would get to go on the train. You'd eat in the McDonald's. It was called

Ronald's Caboose. And it was just part... It was part of my McDonald's experience growing up. And I was was thinking i'd never thought about it my whole life until like two nights three nights ago it's like that's fucking weird that there's nothing about the mcdonald's brand that has trains tied to it why was there a train in these mcdonald's why was this thing so i i asked somebody they lived in a different country so i assumed like oh that makes sense that they wouldn't have it

but then I learned that apparently the McDonald's train is not a universal staple of like 90s childhood McDonald's they're like rare there's only a handful of McDonald's that had these trains I still don't know why they are I'll try to so they were specifically put there

they didn't just buy a lot of land that had a train stuck on it no they were they specifically bought these trains for their restaurants. It wasn't like they acquired it with the purchase of the land. They brought cabooses in. At one point, according to this train website I read, that McDonald's as a business owned more cabooses than any other in the world. More than a train company? They had more cabooses than any other in the world. More than a train company? They had more cabooses than like freight companies?

Listen, I realize that that seems like an absurd statement. I'm not the one sourcing it. This was according to some train fan website, and I'm going to trust the enthusiasm. If you own a train website and you're updating it, I feel like you're probably pretty knowledgeable about trains. Is a caboose a specific type of train car, or is it just the back one about trains is a caboose a specific type of train car or is it just the back one like what what is it so based off of the images that i've seen i think there is a regulation caboose it might have slight slight changes as far that was

another weird thing there was no structure to how they had to look like there was regulations and i guess their company policy of where you could place them but every mcdonald's every ronald's caboose painted a little bit differently oh this episode regulation caboose regulation caboose let me see if i can find photos of it appears we've lost jeff we have lost je. We've lost Jeff to his own anus. He wrote in the chat, I gotta go deal with this. It hurts too bad. BRB. This is

a photo of Ronald's Caboose. This is the one of the ones outside of McDonald's where I live. This is a Ronald's Caboose, Gavin. Ronald's Caboose. It is like painted red and yellow like McDonald's. It is. There's a few other ones that i like i'm not sure where this one is based out of this is one of my favorite designs it looks like it's just

ramming into the restaurant like it's moments before disaster they've built a mcdonald's on a train car this is i've never seen anything like this it expands i thought the ones the mcdonald's with like the golden arches were the rare ones like the old style ones the ones where the train crashed through the side of the building that's the rare one where is that i'd have no idea where that one is i have another one though it gets wild there's a variation i just don't think people realize that there's a whole theme of mcdonald's based vehicle restaurants there is a mcdonald's plane in new zealand they've got a plane version where you can like order the food from the restaurant and then hop in the plane, eat in the plane.

I like that the wheel is off the ground as if it's taken off. There it is. I'd fly Air McDonald's. Have you eaten in a caboose in Ronald's Caboose? I have. Yeah, as a child. On Vancouver Island? On where I live, yeah. I've been to birthday parties in the Ronald's Caboose. We've got to go.

Add that to the list when we're crabbing. I think it's sadly gone. They've renovated since then. That's there I've been to birthday parties in the wrong. Go add that to the list when we're crabbing. I think it's sadly gone. They've renovated since then. That's why I thought it was like a weird

90s thing because they're no longer there, at least where I live. And I was like, oh, that's a shame that they they upgraded the restaurants and

they got rid of the trains. That's the it's the last known photo, Gavin, of Ronald's caboose at the one restaurant is gone. They took it away.

It's the saddest thing I've ever seen. It is. Yeah. What a bleak looking day as well. Oh, that's tragic. Yeah, it was very tragic. So it's a weird, it's a weird thing where I thought everyone had this experience and I guess it's very unique to have a Ronald's Caboose.

Were there special menu items for the Caboose? No, it was just like literally a place for birthday parties. There's nothing fancy about it. It was just you got to hop in the train and you were separated from the rest of the people in the restaurant. That was part of the experience. That is amazing. That's blown my mind a little bit.

Spaghetti Warehouse has train cars inside the warehouse you can eat in. Spaghetti Warehouse. I've never heard of this. I've heard of the Sp in spaghetti where i've never heard of this i've heard of the spaghetti factory i've never heard of a warehouse the spaghetti warehouse spaghetti warehouse yeah they used to be when we were talking about cheesecake factory the spaghetti warehouse maybe yeah probably what was the thing cheesecake factory workers don't identify as factory workers um but i feel like this is sort of a great people are always like ah andrew's weird don't identify as factory workers. But I feel like this is sort of a great... People are always like,

ah, Andrew's weird. But I don't think I'm weird. It's just this is a product of where I grew up. Yeah, that picture of the McDonald's train, that means you're not weird. Yeah. I think it's more of a... People are like,

you're in a different dimension. Maybe I am. That's a fancy train car for that spaghetti place it's a spaghetti warehouse it's it's not just for anybody it's high class also uh uh i gotta be honest with you guys if anything it made it worse. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, no, Jeff. Clearly, we need to go back to the drawing board,

which is fine. That's what R&D is for. I think that we need to incorporate, if I had to guess, maybe some aloe into the milk substance. Okay, so not just milk. I don't know. Got it. Yeah. if I had to guess, maybe some aloe into the milk substance. Got it. Yeah, but I'm not giving up on the idea. I think there's still obviously a need.

The audience has been... Has this even come out to the audience yet? The one we're recording? No, they haven't seen any of this. They're not even aware of the product. I'm sure that when the audience discovers the product, I'll feel vindicated. Everybody's going to want a piece of this investment opportunity.

Yeah, I think the only people who have seen it are the ones in the Slack. But, yeah. Let me just... I didn't... If anything, it made it burn more. So the cooling effect just made it cold, but it still burned? Yeah, it was just like it just made everything.

It was like it enhanced the whole thing. And how was the flavor? All you know, I don't like milk. Well, maybe you're selling the wrong thing, Jeff. Maybe this isn't a thing to soothe the pain. Maybe this is an enhancer product. Yeah. This is an anal enhancer that you have on your hands.

That's why it needs to enhance anything in the anus. I mean, would you opt out of enhancing anything? If you have the choice to enhance, you always say yes. There's no negative to enhancing. What are you talking about? If someone said, do you want me to enhance your headache? I'd say no thanks. Well, no, it could be a better headache. Yeah, you don't turn down an enhance. What are you talking about? If someone said, do you want me to enhance your headache? I'd say, no thanks. Uh, no, it could be a better

headache. Yeah, you don't turn down an enhance- What do you mean? When you didn't go to- When you were in Cyberpunk, you didn't go, oh, no enhancements for me thing. I'll keep my normal anus. Everyone goes with the enhancements. With a sword and double jump. I feel like typically the enhancement is a good thing.

Oh. But I see what you're saying. An enhancement of a headache would be a bad thing because you're theoretically making it more powerful. Yeah. Do you want to have an enhancement of losing a roulette? Well, I don't need that. I'm already pretty good at that. That's not needed. I don't think

yeah, I think I'd enhance most things. And listen, I'm not a judgmental person, Gavin. If somebody wants to enhance their asshole, it's not my business to know why. Just offering a product that will do that. It's true. You gotta cover the market.

Just because it's not for you doesn't mean it's not for somebody. Exactly. There's somebody out there that has been waiting for years. If only my asshole could be enhanced, they've been saying. There's gotta be a better way there has to be and there also has to be a better way than what you designed because i refuse to

believe that a skewer with a milk thing on the end of it pro is not safe prototype it wasn't meant to be the final production model it's you got to start somewhere So based on this new R&D, is there going to be a Mark II? Ugh. I don't think so. I don't know, man. I think we got all the comedy out of that joke.

I think we'll just move on to the next product, maybe. I think if I was going to design something to soothe the anus, it wouldn't be something that's long and goes in the anus It would be something long that you sit on mm-hmm Well, maybe like a like a like a frozen hot dog shape that I just saw and it sort of goes across across the anus across the gooch No, and it's just a soothing what if you need internal soothing?

I'm not a fan of any of this. Why not? I just don't want hands control. I don't want gravity to be a factor in my process. How's gravity a factor? What do you mean? Well, I'm assuming... Well, if you're making...

I guess, okay. In my head, you were like sitting on. Not with it up me. It's not. That's how I perceive the problem. The hot dog, in Gavin's contraption, I believe the hot dog is horizontal. Yeah.

Oh. Gavin straddles a horizontal hot dog. Got it. Think of it like I'm riding a hot dog like a wizard would ride a broom. I see what you're saying. Yeah, understood. That's better. I still don't like this product category ride a broom. I see what you're saying. Yeah, understood. That's better.

I still don't like this product category as a whole. No, it's for a whole. I'm not going to be ordering. Yeah. No, it is. I wonder how many we could sell, though. Just as a concept. What that even looks like.

Yeah, I don't know. The merch didn't seem too excited about it. You actually asked them as well. That's not a joke. It was in the Slack asking about selling popsicles. And they said that we don't have frozen storage. We have cold storage for the popsicles. The limitations of this product was us not having cold storage.

There are no other issues with why this couldn't be sold as it is. Well, as I said, It's the one inhibitor. You can buy... You buy Pop Ice and Otter Pops unfrozen and then you freeze them yourself at home. They make you do the work. It's the dairy of it. You can't have unfrozen dairy. It just doesn't keep that long in a warehouse, I assume.

Pivoting back to the McDonald's train for a moment. It did also... It brought back a memory in my life that i forgot that i had and it blew it blew eric's mind in our conversation about it there was a wendy's uh downtown still there when i was a kid i was like i don't know maybe four or five i'd go there quite a bit and there was a woman there's an older woman i'd say probably late 60s early 70s she had red hair and her name was wendy and because of this i thought that she was the wendy of wendy's and i

spent a large portion probably wasn't until i was a teenager that i realized that i didn't know wendy from wendy's i thought i knew wendy from wendy's for a stretch of my life and you just thought that wendy of wendy's worked in a wendy's in canada yeah yeah well i didn't like i was like you know what she looks a lot younger outside the restaurant i'm sure this business has existed for a long time she's just been a career employee it's a family locally run thing wendy from wendy's i thought i knew wendy from wendy's and we're close whenever I'd come in the restaurant, she'd say hi, we'd talk, she'd sometimes sit at her table and just talk with us while we ate.

I had a friendship with Wendy. In your defense, I mean, Dave Thomas named Wendy's after his daughter, right? Wendy, who is a real person and who exists in the world. And I'm sure this lady who worked at who

was in her 60s and working at wendy's and her name was wendy if it was even her real name was probably delighted to let that little kids thought she was the wendy she probably encouraged that and that's probably why you thought it was the case i feel like i probably asked somebody and they're like yeah and just like the magic of it let the kid think that he knows wendy from wendy's but i never really questioned it so is this something you bragged about at school i never bragged about it but it's just the fact that i was friends with wendy from wendy's you don't strike me as someone who brags uh yeah i don't i don't know i'm trying to think like what have i ever bragged about i'm not a big bragger type person i i have confidence i have the burger confidence established.

I very rarely will brag about something. That's Wendy. Did the lady look like that? That is Wendy. And she does work at Wendy's. So technically, it's not the most ridiculous thing. I don't think she works in a Wendy's, though. Well, she works for Wendy's corporate.

Wait, is Wendy... Wait, the Dave Thomas was the Wendy's guy, right? Yeah, and his daughter's name is Wendy Thomas. Eric is saying that it's not. I thought it was... I agree with you. I thought that's what the story was, Jeff, that he named it after his daughter

and his daughter who has red hair in this photo that Jeff just posted. She's the fourth child of American businessman Dave Thomas, founder of the Fast Food Company. And what's her name? Melinda Lou Wendy Thomas. So one of the younger kids couldn't pronounce Melinda and called her Wendy,

and Dave Thomas went, the name of the restaurant's Wendy's. So he named it after... He didn't name it after any of his kids. Yeah, he named it after what his kid, one kid called another kid, a nickname. If one kid calls another kid that name, but nobody else does, that's the nickname?

Do you think that nobody else in the family called that kid Wendy after that? I think they did after Dave Thomas named a restaurant after, after her. I think they all went, we better buy into this lie. After her. You're right. He did.

He named a restaurant after her. That's a good point. You said it. You made the point. Thank you. Yeah. Dave Thomas went, yeah,

we're going to call it Wendy's and everyone went, well, I guess we better buy into this lie. I don't understand. She has Wendy in her name. It may not be her first name, but she has a Wendy in her name. Did she have any siblings?

I think four. I think Jeff just said four. Oh. Yeah, they must be pissed. She's the fourth child. Oh, okay. Oh, that is a rough one. Yeah.

If she's the youngest of the kids waiting, that's some bullshit. If I was the oldest, I'd want naming rights. Yeah. If she's the youngest of the kids waiting, that's some bullshit. If I was the oldest, I'd want naming rights or the other kids names. Do you know, Jeff? Here, I'll just read what it says on. As a child, Melinda was unable to pronounce her L's and her R's, struggling with her own name, Melinda, and so became known by her nickname, Wendy. See, and then the rest of the family bought into it to feed this lie of

Wendy's the restaurant. Then eight-year-old Melinda would eventually become the namesake of her father's restaurant, Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers, or just Wendy's for short. In addition to being a namesake, her likeness was used as the Wendy's logo. Now I'm an only child, but I feel like I hear about the

conversations of like, who's the favorite kid? You cannot make that argument in that family. When one of the four has a restaurant chain named after them, it's without a... Wendy's number one. I'd like to know the other names, though, because was there a scenario

in which maybe we had Steve's? Let's see if it lists family, personal. They don't cut corners at Steve's. Square burgers. His wife was Lorraine. if it lists family personal. They don't cut corners at Steve's Square Burgers. His wife was Lorraine. They had three more daughters. Pam Lorraine's Pam Lori Molly and son Kenny Kenny died in 2013

Kenny's. I would like Kenny's. I go to Kenny's. Kenny's would be good. I'm a fan of Kenny's. I like Kenny's. Have you, am I the only one,

have you guys ever thought you met a celebrity and then realized it wasn't that celebrity? Ooh, that's a great question. I have another one, if you guys need time to think about it. I have a second case of mistaken identity. I don't think I have one. A guy that you know

we used to work with at the day job uh bernie he had a great story about how he called uh nicholas cage nick nolte in an elevator once and just like crushed nicholas cage uh but i don't think i have oh man i hope this is a fart oh i don't i'm not gonna do it yeah what's your the one entry i thought i sat behind ridleyley Scott at a hockey game once, and it wasn't Ridley Scott. But I was behind him and to the left of him so I could only see the side profile of his face. That's a weird one.

How many people know what Ridley Scott looks like anyway? I don't know, but I was convinced it was Ridley Scott. I was very excited about it, and it was at the time where it had just been announced that he was going to make a Monopoly movie and I didn't want to just like say hey are you Ridley Scott or like get any attention by him at all so I just spent the majority

of the game just making random Ridley Scott like you hear about this Monopoly movie that Ridley Scott's going to make I think that could be real interesting like just random quips about Ridleyott and the films he's worked i you know that alien is sure good i'm really hoping that uh i don't know they maybe make another i was wrong about that i shouldn't have wanted that but at that time

more alien alien would be good yeah we really didn't need more alien really by him at least yeah i don't think any of any of the alien movies he made post. I listened to the audio commentary that he did for alien. And, uh, he was describing like the space jockey and what he thought this was before Prometheus and what he like thought that was. And he was like going through what he thought that story would be. Sounded way cooler than the movie that he actually made.

Do you remember what it was? Oh, it was like, what was, no, it was, there was, that was a hell of a commentary.

It was all like cut up. I think we talked about it. There was bits where, it was... Like, what was... No, that was a hell of a commentary. It was all, like, cut up. I think we talked about it. There was bits where, like, he was doing the commentary and it's, like, edited between him and other cast members

and he's talking to Sigourney Weaver in some parts. But then another part, he's, like, kind of, like, joke complaining about the actors

and Sigourney Weaver doesn't say anything. And I realize that they're from, like, two different commentaries filmed or, like or recorded years apart. It's so confusing. It's a real good one.

Is that one of your go-to? Did you listen to a lot of commentary tracks? I mean, what do you mean? Or is that just a thing you listen to, is commentary tracks? Yeah, I listen to them sometimes, yeah. There was podcasts for me growing up. I loved listening to them.

I was very confused. I didn't understand the sarcasm of Will Fer yeah i was very confused i didn't understand uh the sarcasm of will ferrell or or just like i didn't really have a concept of who he was as as a personality i listened to the tallagate and knights commentary track as a kid and it's just constantly it's not like any actual commentary it's just jokes from my memory and one of the things in it is like yeah my house is shaped like a nascar i'm that much of a nascar so i thought that will ferrell's house was a nascar i thought it was shaped that way i had no idea i used to love commentary it's one of the like worst parts

of streaming for me i wish that netflix or whatever still did commentary tracks as an alternate i love the option i i worked once with uh jake Jake Scott, which is his son. It's as close as I've been to Ridley Scott. Yeah? You asking about Prometheus? Nope. I don't think it's been made yet. I didn't see that movie. Not good? It's not worth it, no. I don't think you get anything from it.

It's not canonical to Alien, though, is it? Yes. I thought it wasn't. I thought it was inspired by the... No, it's all like... It's supposed to fit in the universe. I think they're all the same universe, yeah. Yeah't it's i thought it was inspired it's all like it's supposed to fit in the universe they're all the same universe yeah is it yeah it's leading into i think the idea prometheus was it would end with the beginning of alien it would tell that story and then go forward but it's the first of a trilogy right originally yeah but i feel like the second alien covenant or whatever doesn't really have anything to do with prometheus i mean ridley

scott i just does it's like a direct sequel it says so ridley scott has told bbc radio 5 that his new film prometheus is not a prequel to hit 1979 hit alien i mean it's set before alien in the same universe though and it has a lot of the same imagery i don't feel like alien covenant i feel so to me i feel like it was a correction like i don't like i Alien Covenant, so to me, I feel like it was a correction. Like, I understand what you're saying. There are characters that continue, and it is a continuous plot, but I don't feel like that was the story

he originally planned on telling with that trilogy, if that makes any sense. Yeah, I mean, if it was, I don't know why you would want to tell that story. Yeah, it's... I've been watching the Halloween movies. Yeah. They're great.

They're, like, really bad, and then they get... So, the Halloween movies. Yeah. They're great. Yeah, they are. They're, like, really bad, and then they get... So, the first one, great. Two through six, terrible. I'm now in the 90s ones. Fantastic. Oh.

Al Cool J, he's great. Great cast. Like, surprisingly good. Michelle Williams is in it. Josh Hartnett's first movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Those are fun. If you're looking for a random dumb thing to watch,

Halloween. Yeah, have you watched them all? No, what's the one? I watched Halloween H20 last night, so I'm going to get the next, the Busta Rhymes one, which I'm very excited about. And you're watching them in order? I am, yes.

What did you think of Halloween 3? It's a really cool movie. I wish that they would have stuck with that instead of, so originally Michael Myers wasn't going to be an ongoing character. Like, Halloween was going to be a different story each time. It was just going to be based on it happening on Halloween. And then they didn't do that because people were pissed that Michael Myers was in it. People were angry.

I wish they would have stuck with that instead of seven Michael Myers movies. Paul Rudd also in it. It's weird. It has a surprisingly good cast for what those movies are. All of those horror movies from that era do. I mean, Kevin Bacon is in Friday the 13th

and Johnny Depp is in Nightmare on Elm Street. There was Corey Feldman is in Friday the 13th. There's a lot of like, what people that turn- Corey Feldman is a step back. Corey Feldman was phenomenal

as a kid actor. He was great in that movie. That's fair. It's one of the best horror movies. I think it's Friday the 13th, four or five he's in. Really good. I'm disappointed that you guys

have never thought you met a celebrity and went through that pain. I tend to try to avoid celebrities if I see them. That's fair. I mean, in the scenarios I'm talking about, I wasn't actively pursuing them. I just thought I knew Wendy.

And then I thought I met Ridley Scott. It definitely was Ridley Scott. That guy must have been like, why did he spend an hour, or I guess two and a half hours for a hockey game talking about Manali? What a weird thing. Do you think that guy even knows who Ridley Scott is? Almost certainly not. I agree with Gavin.

I feel like, well, maybe by name, I guess, like a vague awareness. I could definitely pull Ridley Scott out of a lineup because of the industry I'm in. But I feel like most people know the name, not the face. I couldn't pull him out of a lineup. You don't think so? I can't picture Ridley Scott in my head right now, no. He looks kind of like Jake Scott.

That's fair. I think we should probably go because we lost our support staff. They all took off. And I got to go figure out what to do about my butthole. But before we go, I would like to point out that somebody on one of the comment leavers pointed out to me that Mac Jones, who is Gavin's choice to

win Rookie of the Year, that we picked for you, I didn't realize, and I watched him the entire time he worked quarterback for Alabama, I didn't realize his name is Michael Jones, which is kind of funny. And then the Mac comes from his middle name, McCorkle. Your pick for Rookie of the Year's name

is Michael McCorkle Jones. That's a great name. Hey, Gavin, do you want to trade Rookie of the Year's? Do not do it. Do not do it. Do you want to trade? I'm locked in? Do not do it. Do not do it. Do you want to trade? I'm locked in with McCorkle. You got McCorkle.

I feel like McCooley Culkin should call his kid that. McCorkle Culkin. Can we name this episode McCorkle Culkin? episode McCorkle Culkin. I have no idea if this was a good episode or not, but if you made it around to the end, I appreciate it. Thank you for listening to episode 72 of face.

We will see you next week. I don't give a shit if you rate or review or not. You do you. Bye. We never even got to the thing about the feet. I forgot to mention that. I was right about that, too. I guess I... Well, give me a half point on the taste buds and the ass thing.

If you put your feet on garlic, you taste that. It goes into the bloodstream. We're saving that for this episode. You're going to save it for the next episode. Hey, Craig is still in here. Craig is still in here. This is technically live. We can't keep talking about garlic. Craig is still in here. Craig is still in here. This is technically live. We can't keep talking about garlic feet after every recording.

No. No, this is, we're done. We're done with this one. It just needs to be on the record that if you put your feet in garlic, you're going to taste that garlic. Is that true? I don't know if it's garlic specific. I don't know if you can put like a ham sandwich down there and you taste that.

But it's definitely a thing with garlic it has something to do how do you know because it's just a fact jeff how do you know anything where did you read the fact okay where'd you read it i don't know where i read it but i know i have why is he yelling i don't know i haven't just the first time hearing this you're i wasn't in your case you're trying to. Jeff, you weren't here for this. This is the second week in a row. Gavin's tried to block the truth about garlic feet. Why'd you never bring it up in the podcast?

Because I forgot! I forgot because we changed subjects. We're talking about throwing baseballs. Can Craig cut this out? Can we cut this out anyway? Will Craig record it? Yeah! I'm still recording.

Craig is still recording. I'm not recording. I'll go back. I'm not recording. I will go back to recording. I'm recording again. I'll go back. I'm not recording. I will go back to recording. I'm recording again. Hold on. Let me get a new phone.

I'm back to recording. God damn it. So now, do I need to do this again? Do I need to tell the world about how right I am about garlic feet? I just dropped the bottle. Have you tried it? No, I haven't tried it. I'll gladly try it.

How the fuck do you know? What do you mean? Just because I haven't tried something doesn't mean you don't know it. What are you saying? Did you taste the sushi when you were slipping across your floor in the container? There was no sushi in the container. It was a plastic lid. It was a plastic lid.

I'm going to Google. Google it. Do feet taste garlic? Bing it. Yahoo search it. I don't care. You're going to find the same result. It's a thing. Okay. All right. Bing it! Yahoo search it! I don't care! You're gonna find the same result! It's a thing!

Okay. Alright. Read it! Read it! Read it to the people! I'll read it right now. It's not because you have secret garlic taste buds on your feet. It's because the molecules responsible for garlic smell,

which is called allicin, A-L-L-I-C-I-N, can penetrate your skin, get into your blood, and travel to your mouth and nose, where you suddenly start to sense the taste of garlic. It goes in your blood to your nose and mouth? That quickly, too, apparently. That is...

I want to do a blind stomp test. And see if Andrew can taste the garlic and we'll get him to stand on three things. People put garlic on their feet to treat athlete's foot and to fight fungus. And I think that is the best idea you've ever had, Gavin. We need a foot taste test. I like the idea that if I drop the garlic at a restaurant

and my steak's a bit plain, I can just take my socks off and stomp on it. I wonder, oh my God, could you eat a plain steak while your foot is in garlic and taste a garlic steak? I need to, do they make garlic like apples?

Are there different variations of garlic? Are you asking if you can scrump garlic? No, no, no no no no i mean i've never publicly discussed scrumping of any kind but i meant in the sense of there's like uh there's a granny smith there's a fuji there's a mac there are different variants of garlic there's like same way that there's like elephant garlic right uh i need to get more familiar with garlic and we could do like a whole foot garlic test I think I could get good at that like a whole blindfold Could we do maybe like a what taste mess like a blind taste test of what your garlic preferences based off of your foot?

Foot taste do you have to like step on ginger in between to clear your palate? Thing I have an issue with. I have never gone into a grocery store and seen a sign that says, these apples are new. But they're inventing apples all the time. What do you mean? I don't know.

Well, like the apples, apples are constantly being invented. They're constantly making new apples. But I've never gone into a grocery store and been like, this apple just released. It just came out. You got to try this apple. Like someone's bred a new apple. Like they don't release, like new apples don't drop like albums.

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. And they should. They should. I feel like people are just like apples. People don't realize how recent apples are. Oh, man. I feel like the pink lady.

Is that the newest mainstream apple? All right, hold on. I'm going to Google this. What's the newest apple? Why won't these podcasts end? The newest apple. I don't know. I don't even know where this is.

Is this a... But we're making shit. Like, this has got to... Why don't we cut all this shit about... Oh, it just gives me new iPhones. Come on, man man i want an apple what is the newest apple we could call the shit about alien and prometheus and put this in this is better uh it's got oh cosmic crisp look at that cosmic crisp that sounds that sounds delicious

that sounds delicious we could call the episode cosmic crisp when did it come out when did the cosmic crisp release uh yeah i can tell you uh cosmic crisp is an american apple fuck yeah best country in the world with the variety designation wa38 breeding began in 1997 at the washington state university tree fruit research and extension center in uh wenatchee wee, Washington. Initially oversea... Who cares? So, 97. They started waiting...

No, no, no. There's more recent apples than that. That's incorrect. That's when they began. That's when breeding began. That doesn't necessarily mean that's when they finished it. It was first planted for commercial use

in the spring of 2017. See? 2017. We got a new apple within the last five years. Yeah? 2017. We got a new Apple within the last five years. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's true.

I've never gone to a grocery store and seen a sign being like, this Apple just dropped. Like, come try this Apple. I'd be way more excited about it. This Apple just dropped is great. It's amazing. It's amazing that we haven't heard

more about Cosmic Crisp, which sounds like a weed flavor, by the way. Listen to this. Promotion and marketing. A $10 million consumer launch of the product was funded by Washington State Agricultural Promotion Funds through the Washington Apple Commission. There is something called the Washington Apple Commission. And they did a $10 million promotional and marketing campaign for the

Cosmic Crisp. I never fucking heard of it. That's crazy because that's a crowded market, the Apple game. Yeah, Apple games, fucking, it is... It's hard to get in amongst the big dogs. I wonder how does that work? Can I go to a grocery store and find a, what was it?

Cosmic Crisp, a new Apple launch that lasts for a year that's part of its strength is that it sits on shelves for a long time okay so it doesn't that sounds like a great apple it's like it's well i think we need to try to find a cosmic crisp it is a crossbreed of the honey crisp and the enterprise oh my god we have gotten really scrump heavy without even trying like a weekly apple. We've become like an Apple podcast. That's interesting. It's just something I don't

understand. I feel like there'd be a lot of enthusiasm for a new fruit type. That's crazy though. There's a newer Apple than the company. That's a newer Apple than the... There's so many. I feel like Red Delicious came out in like 2002 and people love that Apple. I wonder if anybody who's a comment leaver

or anybody who just listens to this podcast who wouldn't mind leaving a comment, if any of you work or know somebody who works with the Washington Apple Commission, I would love to know what your job is like. Apparently Cosmic Crisps are shipping nationwide November 8th. Is it a seasonal apple?

Is it like this year? I don't know. This upcoming November 8th? Will this be the first run Is it like this year? I don't know. This upcoming November 8th? Will this be the first run of Cosmic Crisp? Or did they get invented in... We have got... We're following the new

ship date of November 8th. You have got to... Oh, this year! November 8th, 2021! The apples are about to drop! We have a month until Apple won! Holy shit!

I like November. November is like usually like, oh, there's a Halo game coming out or something. Nope. New Apple. I'm going to go to my grocery store and see if I can pre-order a Cosmic Crisp. If your favorite store doesn't carry

Cosmic Crisp, talk to the produce department manager and ask for it by name. Can you imagine doing that? Until you just shove it up your ass. Oh, no. I'm going to do it. Guys, we've got to get Cosmic Crisps on launch day and film a special video of us eating it. This is a big damn deal.

Oh, this is amazing. That's a gorgeous logo. We can buy them online! Where's the buy apples? Let's see if you can throw it further than your baseball. Oh, I meant to. That's another thing I forgot. I'm forgetting all the things I've written down.

No, no, just one second. Let me just ask this. So, Jeff, you think you could throw a baseball 80? With some training. Yeah, with some training. Eventually, yeah, with some training. I understand. Not just like you're going to do it.

How far do you think you can throw a football? Oh, I have no idea. Okay, so you don't. There's no 80 doesn't equal a certain yardage for you no i'm going for speed not distance i couldn't tell you okay fair enough i just want to ask maybe very far but i don't even know how far is far on a football find apples at your local this is great all right we gotta stop recording okay uh and i don't know do we replace the prometheus we can replace the butt stuff we i don't know what we want to replace or we could

just put this in at the end. I just feel like most of the meat of the episode happened after it ended because we're going to have a garlic taste test with Andrew. And we are going to... And the world is going to shut the fuck down on November 8th when we celebrate

Cosmic Crisp drop date. They got juice! They got Cosmic Crisp juice. It's 100% pure pressed apples. Woo. That's going to be tasty. Is that available now? Can I get a little sneak preview of what the apple will taste like?

Can I just buy that apple juice now? Apple in liquid form. Oh, man. This is exciting. Oh, shit, dude. They have lots of products. They have Cosmic Crisp Cider. exciting oh shit dude they have lots of products they have they have cosmic crisp cider they have an apple spiralizer that's cosmic crisp branded that's a little silly nobody's allowed to get

the dried apple slices that's a spoiler that's a future spoiler i think you have to stay to juice liquid versions of it that is true we have to stay to juice as we can only we can only we can only want-drink. We can't pre-eat. Maybe there's like a live stream launch event that we could host. You can buy 120 ounces. That would be great.

Attention Washington Apple Commission. We want to host your live stream. We're interested in doing business with you. Gavin, we're fucked fucked there is nothing in our zip code ah shit we might have to travel yeah yeah i'll travel oh absolutely maybe andrew you want to attempt to end this thing for the second time oh yeah let's do it uh all right well the podcast already ended so we can just stop the second we stop talking we're done you don't think the outro should be at the end as well well

we already did an outro can't they just cut it and move it to the all right can i here's the second yeah oh please do can i say can i can i just say something really quickly yeah we ask people to to subscribe and subscribe and all that stuff you know at the end because eric recommends doing this this week i i said do it or don't. We don't care. Yeah, you did say that. I just wanted to say, I want to thank the people that have. Oh.

We appreciate it. It's very kind of them to either when they leave a review, drop the five stars. It's very considerate. You know what? I'd like to add that. I'd like to add on to that actually. To all the people out there

who have shared this podcast with a friend or loved one uh i i really appreciate that too i was thinking about it the other day uh in a moment of seriousness uh this all started uh this all came out of the company rooster teeth that we started almost 19 years ago and that the the entire success of our company has been because of word of mouth and i really i really appreciate people who like our our productions enough to share them and just know that I'll be eternally grateful if you have done that or you would consider doing it in the future someday.

Really appreciate it. And some just amazingly sweet people. Yeah. I haven't talked about on the show. I've been taking calls from people that listen. Just having conversations. Amazingly kind comment leaders. Gavin, do you have anything nice and humane to say?

I'm in total agreement. I think it's a special thing to be something that people share with other people. Yeah. What a rare, beautiful, honest moment from you.

I appreciate that. Doesn't happen often. All right. And now I got to go find something better to stick up my ass than this. I'll see you guys later.

All right. Bye. Bye. I gotta go find something better to stick up my ass I'll see you guys later Alright bye