F**kface - Geoff's Car Wreck Story // Firing an Extinguisher [52]

Episode Date: May 26, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about being Andrew's new Property Brothers, supplemental content for the socials of an extinguisher, and basket weaving (again.) Want to contribute to bits? Email what yo...u can do to ffacebits@gmail.com Sponsored by: The Jordan Harbinger Show (http://jordanharbinger.com/start), Raycon (http://buyraycon.com/face), HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/12face + code 12face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:33 and use code 12Face for 12 free meals, including free shipping. This is a Rooster Teeth production. I told a story in last week's episode, or the last episode we recorded, which is episode 51. In the middle of the episode, I said, Gavin or Andrew mentioned something that reminded me, and I tried to cut it off and say, hey, I know you guys might have heard about this,
Starting point is 00:02:10 but I don't want to talk about it in the podcast, but I'll tell you the story right now. Please cut it from the episode. And then I told you guys in a very matter of fact, like, this is the data. This is the facts of the story that happened as it relates to an incident between Millie and I and a third party for that matter. And I was like, I don't know if I want to talk about on the on the podcast yet because I haven't vetted it with Millicent yet. And I don't know that she would be comfortable with it. But I want you guys to understand what I'm talking about. I told that little nugget of a story in that manner. And then we went on with the podcast. And I just assumed that that was just for you two, I guess, and Nick and Eric.
Starting point is 00:02:46 And then it was flushed down the toilet of of of content. And then I talked to Millicent and she said, I'm OK with you telling that story. So I came to you guys today and I said, we're listing things that we have to talk about. You guys were talking about the Halo bet. And then I thought there was a some confusion about how about when it was talked about or something. And then I said, oh, yeah, well well I can talk about that Millie story now. And then you guys said,
Starting point is 00:03:08 oh, okay, well, should we cut it from the other episode? And I said, it was already cut from the other episode. It was never in it. Well,
Starting point is 00:03:12 I said, should we uncut it? Yeah, but I wasn't told in a way that would have been entertaining. It was entertaining, but you also didn't articulate that. You said, I never told that story is how you phrased it.
Starting point is 00:03:23 What I meant was I never told that story on camera. I didn tell the story i told you guys the fact the thing is so i asked do you because that episode hasn't come out yet 51 at the time of this hasn't come out yet comes out in like six days so i just said should we just unsnip it from that and then and then you said you know i didn't tell it right but the reason i said that is because andrew was loving it i had a great time he was it really enjoyed himself even though you were just presenting the facts yeah that was what i was asking that was like do we want to keep that then but and then all i was suggesting was that it's a great tease of you saying like well we're gonna edit this out and then like if we make a clear edit then people will be like well what was edited out and then you can reintroduce
Starting point is 00:04:01 it to this is like hey i got. I can now tell the story. I was trying to build hype for your story, and you were very confused by this. I see what you're saying, but that doesn't translate in text very well. I feel like it did. I feel like it was pretty straightforward. Oh, what a mess. I feel like you cut me off. Turn your phone on and look.
Starting point is 00:04:18 I can't. I'd love to. I feel like. Oh, that sucks. I feel like. Oh, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree then. I was explaining what it was. You never have access to your phone on a face recording.
Starting point is 00:04:30 You just, do you just kick it out the window? Like whenever we record, you never have it. If we ever need you to take a picture and send it to us, you never can. What's going on? I organized my photos. I'm good. I got everything lined up on my tablet. Literally, I took a photo and it died. I was like, oh, that's too bad. It was, it happened 10 minutes before the show. I don't lined up on my tablet literally I took a photo and it died as like oh, that's too bad
Starting point is 00:04:46 It was it happened ten minutes before the show. I don't know what you want from me I just don't know whose phone runs batteries like dude like what I charge it once every like four days What do you want? How often am I supposed to charge the phone? Do I charge it every day? I just put on every night that seems like work. Why would I do that? That seems like three seconds of work. Well. I need to think about it. That is part of my routine What if I don't feel like it that evening? Do you sleep with it in your hands? Just put it down on a charger. Well, no, where am I putting- I got the charger in the window It's an alarm clock. I don't have to get up out of bed and walk to the fucking- In the window?
Starting point is 00:05:20 Yeah, well it's the outlet is below the outlet is in a very weird place i didn't fucking design how this is where you go wrong instead of an alarm on your bedside table you've got waffle makers instead of a nice plug you got a keurig put the phone next to your bed easy charging every night and if you've got a weird plug in a weird place, they invented extension cords, and they're wonderful. Okay. I have an extension cord. All the plugs on it except one causes the breaker to flip in my room. Good Lord, we've been arguing about the layout of your bedroom for a year.
Starting point is 00:05:59 This is how long this is. We need to come in and remodel. Yeah, I'd love to. You know what we need? Gavin and I can be our version of the Property Bros. And we come in. Yeah, we're the Property Bros. And we're going to come in and we're going to flip your apartment.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Yeah, and you'll tell us how you want stuff. And I'll say stuff like, nice try. Okay, yeah. No, that's great. I was doing my impression of the game. You'll be like, well, I think I'd like to move the plug from here to here. And Gavin will be like, we'll get on that. And I'll be like, yeah, right, I'll get on it.
Starting point is 00:06:30 He doesn't do any of the work. And lots of really funny Property Brothers jabs back and forth. And then we'll just shrug into the camera, which I assume they do. And then we'll go. I mean, I could try to plug my phone in. I might lose all my power for everything else. I got like a one in seven. I'm willing to try,
Starting point is 00:06:47 but then I'm gone. You are a professional podcaster. You do realize that? What does that have to do with anything? Well, most people, when they plug in their phone, doesn't take down their whole recording studio.
Starting point is 00:06:57 No, I agree. You brought up the fact that I needed an extension cord. I have one of those, but as I said, literally, if I plug it into anything but the right one,
Starting point is 00:07:07 the breaker flips in my room and I lose all power. Get one that doesn't do that. It sounds like you need another extension cord. I do. I figured it out. I finally understand Andrew.
Starting point is 00:07:16 I finally, like this all clicked and I finally understand him. When you suggest something, there are 10 reasons why he can't do it and it's insane that you've never thought of the reasons that he has created for himself to not be able to do the simple thing and somehow the onus is back on you it all just like the pieces of the puzzle just
Starting point is 00:07:41 came together this is incredible andrew is like a video game character that only has character slots, but no inventory slots. He's like, well, I've got my extension cord. I'm going to get two. I can't store two. That's the extension cord. That's the one I have to use. They cost, listen, extension cords cost money. They're expensive, like 30 bucks.
Starting point is 00:08:00 They're not as expensive as porta potties. That's true. But that was for the show. That was a bit for the show. I'm investing in the show. It's different. It's for the show if you can use your phone and the show at the same time. I wonder if I brought that extension cord to someone else's space,
Starting point is 00:08:14 if it would be the same game, if it would trip. Because I'm pretty sure it's broken. It sparks whenever you put it in the other one. So I wonder if it's like a portable shutdown breaker. You could just plug it in like restaurants and stuff. See what happens. That'd be awesome. You might have stumbled into a little device of chaos. I think
Starting point is 00:08:32 I have. Yeah. It's a great product. That's interesting. Just plug it in an airport. We should. No. I don't have room, Gavin. We should sell those. I pack a 20 pound bag when I travel. There's no room. Gavin. We should sell those. I pack a 20-pound bag when I travel. There's no room. I'm already capped up.
Starting point is 00:08:48 It's true. God. Did we start? Was this the beginning of this episode? Yeah, we started. This is 52. This is a year of f***ing. Started with an argument about a text conversation around a story that nobody knows what we're
Starting point is 00:08:59 talking about. And then we talked about extension cords. Yeah. Oh, fucking Christ. How far into this are we i don't know 10 10 minutes 10 minutes that was 10 minutes wow that went by quick that's a good andrew said he has nine he has like six things today six things to talk about do we want to start with what jeff was talking about then yeah let's do that that. Oh, do you guys want to want me to tell that story or?
Starting point is 00:09:26 For the sake of the audience, is that we've cut it from one episode and not talked about it in the next one. We could cut this and then they'll never know. I saw the dress rehearsal of this story, so I'm very excited to hear what the final cut sounds like. Alright, well, here you go. Here's a story for you guys. This is the story of how Jeff lost his. Are we cutting this? No. Okay. This is a story for you guys uh this is the story of how jeff lost his are we cutting this no okay this is a story these aren't facts this is the story of how jeff lost his i am telling you i uh i don't gotta just spoil the end of the story yeah it's already i think the other version's
Starting point is 00:09:57 better okay here's what we're gonna do. Eric or whoever's editing this right now, just bleep out the word I say over and over again right there. This is the story of how Jeff lost his blank. Yeah, his bleep. And then, okay. So let me start by going back and saying Millicent Ramsey is my daughter, right? Millie Saylor Ramsey, that's her name.
Starting point is 00:10:22 She's my kid. She's 15. In most states in America, and I don't know that this is the case for Canada and England. I'm not sure how it works in your countries. So I won't presuppose that you know how it works in ours. So I will just let you know that in most states in America, but it's different states rights and all state by state at 15. In most states, you get your learner's permit so that you can begin to learn to be an adult and drive a car, right? And then become a productive driving member of American society.
Starting point is 00:10:51 I did it at 15. So when Millie turned 15, her mother took her out to get her permit. I also don't know if it's like this in your countries, but in America, we have this thing called the DMV, the Department of Motor Vehicles. Sometimes it's called the Department of Safety or Public Transportation. In Texas, it's called Texas DPS, Department of Public Safety. The DMV is the worst place on the planet Earth. And Eric is around as the other fellow American. He can explain, he can corroborate that, that the DMV is the worst place on Earth. You don't want to go there. And it exists to
Starting point is 00:11:28 frustrate in its banality. So, Millie's mother takes her to get her permit. Nobody has ever gotten their permit on the first try because they make it impossible. They were missing some paperwork. So, they were like, you gotta come back later. And they were like, okay, well let's make an appointment. And they said,
Starting point is 00:11:44 sure, the next appointment's in six weeks. Fuck. Okay. You can't do it online? So they make an appointment. No. They make an appointment. Her mother then takes her back.
Starting point is 00:11:53 And the next appointment, they say, oh, you need this thing called a verification of enrollment. You have to prove that Millie is in school. We won't give a fucking learner's permit to kids who aren't passing classes or in school or some shit like that. So they're like, fuck why you would've been great if you told us this the first time. Right. And they're like,
Starting point is 00:12:13 yeah, well we didn't. And so you got to get that. And so they called the school and the school was like closed for the day. So they're like, fuck you. So they had to make another appointment for like four or five weeks down the road.
Starting point is 00:12:23 This time I had Millie. So it was my turn to bring her to the appointment. Her mother went and got her the verification of enrollment and all that shit. I bring all the paperwork to the DMV with Millie and I go there and the lady goes, this verification of enrollment expired three days ago. And I go, excuse me? She goes, yeah, it's only good for 30 days. That was 33 days ago. And I was like, you think I unenrolled my daughter in school three days ago? Like in the the last three days you think i've unenrolled her from school and i'm trying to like get one over on you isn't it obvious that she's like every other 15 year old in the world she's in school and they're like hey fuck off come back in six weeks so i made
Starting point is 00:12:58 another fucking appointment at this point millie's gonna be 26 by the time she gets her driver's license right before she gets her fucking permit. Like, we're getting close to 16 at this point. Fourth trip to the DMV happened last week. I had to get another verification of enrollment, all the stuff, get there. Then I had to do some tap dancing, because even if you have all the paperwork and everything required, they still won't make it easy for you. But I tap danced, and I did a little, you know. And I got the goddamn, we got the goddamn permit. Fucking permit fucking amazing right millie finally got her driver's permit by the way gavin she's way
Starting point is 00:13:29 ahead of you now she officially has her texas uh permit you do not she is beating you well i'll be honest you're not selling me on the process it's not fun right but it's a it's a rite of passage so now it's time for her to start driving you you know, and you know, we've been practicing and driving in the past, but she's never driven my car before because I didn't want her to drive it until she had a permit and it was totally legal. And technically, I guess it's also your car, Gavin, because I don't know. We've talked about this in a previous face, but I lost my car to you in a bet. But you very kindly let me continue to use it and pay for it for years and years. And then you allowed me to trade in that car for a new car, which means that partial ownership transfers to you.
Starting point is 00:14:10 So unfortunately, I did a thing where, you know, I'm in my 40s and I had a bit of a, maybe it's like a, it's one of those midlife crisis moments or what, or just treat myself. But I bought a really nice car that I was really excited about and really proud of and really happy about.
Starting point is 00:14:20 I bought this BMW M5 and it's excessive, but it brought me, it sparked a lot of joy in my life, as Marie Kondo would say. So Millie, I'm like, well, better get in the race car. And she's like, is it okay if I drive your car? Are you sure?
Starting point is 00:14:35 And I go, absolutely, dude. You've got the permit. I've seen you drive before. You're good. We'll take it slow and easy. And she hopped in the car and 15 minutes later, we weren't driving it anymore.
Starting point is 00:14:52 We had a very successful drive uh down down a road and uh we were turned around we were coming home and millie stopped at a red light and somebody plowed right into us plowed right the fuck into us so it wasn't even her fault no it wasn't her fault no she stopped at a yellow light as it was turning red she stopped it was totally fine and somebody just wasn't her fault. No, she stopped at a yellow light as it was turning red. She stopped. It was totally fine. And somebody just wasn't paying attention. And a big pickup truck slammed right into us. And Millie goes, did I? What was that? I'll say this for cars and new cars. They absorb shock very fucking well. We got plowed into by this truck. And Millie goes, what was that? Did I stop you? And I go, no, we just got hit. And she goes, we did? And I was like, yeah. And she was kind of in shock, I think. And so we pulled off and we exchanged information. My car's, the back of my car is gone.
Starting point is 00:15:34 You know, trunk. Those are all figments of a past life. We had to, you know, exchange information and with the cops and the insurance and all that. And it's all fine now. My car is getting fixed. Their insurance is paying for it.
Starting point is 00:15:50 It wasn't Millie's fault. It was cleared of any wrongdoing by the insurance companies. But because of that, I lost the back half of my car. And I haven't had a car for two weeks. And I don't know when I'll have a car again. I love it. My favorite thing is just how much Andrew loves it when your house or car fall apart. He just really loves it. It was like six months of frustration with the Texas DPS leading up to the point where she literally gets the fucking driver's license out of the mail and goes,
Starting point is 00:16:22 Can I drive your car now? And I hop in. Bam! Fuck you! Fuck you! Universe says, Fuck you now? And I hop in. Bam! Fuck you! Fuck you! Universe says, fuck you, Jeff! Fuck you, Millie! Fuck you, BMW!
Starting point is 00:16:29 Suck my butt! And that's where we are. Sucking the universe's butthole. Do you need the back half of the car? Is that necessary? I feel like the front is way more important. If you're going to lose part of the car. That's the driving end.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Yeah. It requires both. Okay. Apparently. What did the people say well they did millie scream at them be like what the hell were you doing no millie was pretty like upset you know and kind of just like kind of in like shocked by the whole thing so i handled it mostly um she she was just kind of quiet and and they uh they understood you know i i they didn't
Starting point is 00:17:00 really have an excuse they were just like i didn't i just didn't see you guys stop you know on the damn phone, probably. Probably. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, they were. And of course, they were in this big ass pickup truck that suffered zero damage. Like didn't even smudge the chrome on their bumper. However, the back half of my car looks like an old accordion. Like not one in good shape.
Starting point is 00:17:24 One that's been through the paces. one that's been in service for a while like at the tail end like a dude who has one of those monkeys that he dresses up and he goes down to like venice beach or like the like the boardwalk there and he like plays and the monkey dances like when he's thinking he's looking at the accordion and he's like shit i've had this guy for 18 years it's about time to get a new accordion this is it's barely held together that's what my car looked like there was such an unnecessary explanation what do you want to do that was basically the same version as we got last week but with the origins of the yes it was so much longer oh you opened it with, in the beginning!
Starting point is 00:18:07 The car was invented! Well, I didn't- I don't think I explained- I don't think I fully explained the DMV shit to you guys last time. That's fat. It wasn't pulled. But I feel like the DMV is like, that's what everybody knows about the DMV. I feel like it's like a Seinfeld bit from the fuckin' 80s that the DMV is terrible. Everybody knows the DMV sucks. I don't know- everybody knows, you've never seen Star Wars, motherfucker. How do I know that you know what American DMVs are like?
Starting point is 00:18:34 That's my point! The fact that I don't know Star Wars but I know the American DMV sucks, it's such a universal thing. I've seen Zootopia, Geoff! There are so many universal things that you don't know what the fuck we're talking about! You've never touched an egg, goddammit! You're gonna talk about universal? I don't know what a meatball tastes like! You've never
Starting point is 00:18:56 licked a pickle! Fucking Christ! How can it be universal? Do you lick pickles? Is that a thing you're supposed to do? Everybody likes pickles! Where's Hawaii at? Where the fuck is Hawaii? Universal DMV!
Starting point is 00:19:13 You're from another country! How the fuck am I supposed to know I'm the only American on this show? Gavin, did you think DMV sucked? Were you aware of that as a premise? I did, but I've lived with Jeff, you know, I've lived with him for over a decade. I feel like it's just a cultural, everyone knows this. It's like what the people talk about with the DMV. He might be right. There might be people
Starting point is 00:19:31 internationally, like we've got the DVLA, but I have no experience with it. I don't know. Zootopia is a big movie. What's it like at the DVLA, Gavin? That's what I'm telling you. I'm the wrong person to ask, aren't I? Okay, so you wouldn't have any experience or know, so if someone would have to tell you, I'm the wrong person to ask, aren't I? Okay, so you wouldn't have any experience or no. So if someone would have to tell you,
Starting point is 00:19:47 the LVA is like, you personally have never fucking experienced it. I mean, I still got a provisional. I did it online. It took like one second. We don't do shit online in America. We do it slow and with red tape. It's 2021.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Someone asked me for a check the other day. What's wrong with this place? I got to get my goddamn kid's passport renewed. And I have to have a money order or a cashier's check. They don't take credit cards for passports in the United States government. Every time I need to use a check, I don't know where a checkbook is. I have to buy a new one. I use one check.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I lose the checkbook. And I repeat to buy a new one. I use one check. I lose the checkbook And I repeat that cycle every year. We need change. Oh wow. Andrew. Do you have a checkbook? No, I don't so is that like version two of the story Jeff? Are we gonna lock it down next week? I feel like there's some good tweaks to be made. When the bank was invented Listen I like the story. I'm just Yeah it's a great story. It was a great story. It was a good story. It was a little...
Starting point is 00:20:46 We went a little long in the beginning. But you got there. Listen. Listen, you little foreign dickhead. Which one are you talking to? Yeah, I don't know. I'm talking to the more annoying of the two of you. And everybody knows who that is.
Starting point is 00:21:01 That's just mean. You need to stop deflecting and set off the goddamn fire extinguisher that we've been waiting for for 52 fucking weeks. I think he's talking about you now. That was a big pivot by Jeff. That was an interesting play by him. Just trying to get away from the DMV talk.
Starting point is 00:21:17 I disagree with you. I don't think that everybody on Earth knows that the DMV is a universal thing. And then even if it does, then there's a whole other layer of this that we have to get into, Andrew, that I'm not talking to normal people. I'm talking to you. I can't presuppose that you understand anything about how anything in society works because you are an anomaly.
Starting point is 00:21:37 He's got you there. It's a fair point. I can't argue. So I have to explain shit. I know what the DMV is. Everybody knows what the DMV is. It fucking sounds like it. Should we just put up a Twitter poll I know what the DMV is. Everybody knows what the DMV is. It fucking sounds like it. Should we just put up a Twitter poll? What's the DMV?
Starting point is 00:21:50 What does it stand for, Andrew? Department of Motor Vehicles. Okay, there you go. It sounds like you're very well versed. I apologize for the beginning of my story. It was a waste to explain to such learned and sophisticated individuals as yourselves how a DMV works. I will not make that mistake again. Oh no! The apology was not directed towards Eric Baddour, so he can accept- he can take that apology accepted and shove it up his butthole. It was just to you two.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Oh no. I got some bad news. Go ahead. While Jeff was fucking yelling at me about, Ooh, the way number 52 everyone's waiting for this fire extinguisher. I got it fucking prepped. I had it organized. I was ready to go.
Starting point is 00:22:31 I'll show you what I made. It's unprepped? I can't show you what I made because I took a photo of it, and then the phone died. We're back to the beginning. I'll send a photo later. I came up with an idea. Yeah, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:22:47 We need to film. Are you not filming this? Do you not have a video camera filming it? No, I built the thing. Wait, we're just all gonna sit here and listen to it? You could just play a sound effect, you lazy bastard. What do you want? This is a fucking audio podcast. What do you want from me? A little bit of supplemental
Starting point is 00:23:03 content for the socials we never talked about the supplemental content oh my god this is what a show this is i think it's universally accepted that that uh supplemental content is important and video content of some of such a monumentous occasion would be uh welcomed i went through multiple layers of this eric eric is aware of like my initial idea was, how can I do this? Because it's going to go everywhere. I'm going to build a kill room like in Dexter
Starting point is 00:23:30 was the thing I thought of. I'm just going to plastic off an entire thing, just keep it completely separate. That was my idea. That's what I was trying to build towards. I never got that done. That seemed like a lot of work. That seemed like a lot of work.
Starting point is 00:23:42 I couldn't figure out how to tape to the ceiling. It just seemed like a whole process. I couldn't figure out how to tape to the ceiling. It just seemed like a whole process. I couldn't figure out the logistics of building a kill room or you need to cover the roof. So today, today I thought I'm just going to put this in every garbage bag I currently have. So I dropped it in. I taped it up and then I just kept Russian dolling it just more and more garbage. I have it in like like, 18 garbage bags.
Starting point is 00:24:06 So are you just going to reach your hand inside? No, I was just going to squish from, like, I can just do it from the outside. Like, through the bags, you're going to squeeze that? Through, on top of the bag, I'm just going to squeeze the handle. Is the pin already out? Pin is out. Pin's been out for a year.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Oh, yeah. The problem is, so there are two problems. One, the garbage bag is very big. I had to, like, kind of squeeze out air from the garbage bags just to try to, like, get my hand to a point being able to reach it. So while Jeff was talking about whatever he was talking about, I
Starting point is 00:24:38 was choking out this garbage bag. And, uh, it doesn't work. Nothing happened. What do you mean it doesn't work? I pulled the handle. Nothing happened. You got you mean it doesn't work? I pulled the handle. Nothing happened. You got an empty fire extinguisher, haven't you? It's drained out. I think all the pressure's gone.
Starting point is 00:24:50 It's dead. It's almost like we had conversations, I don't know, every fucking week for the past month about how you should take it to your fire department and get it recharged because they fucking lose their charge over time. That's what we- Check the tapes. Check the tapes. You said, I bet it's fine. You said I go check the tapes dude. I said get a new one Gets my better way against my better judgment. I listened to this look this week's episode
Starting point is 00:25:20 Yesterday after I said I wasn't gonna listen anymore because I wanted to hear what we said about the fire extinguisher. And I'll tell you exactly what we said. I said, do you want me to Google to help you? Do you want me to Google your closest fire department so you can go down there and get them to recharge it for you? And you said, I know where the fire department is. I got that under control. I can do that.
Starting point is 00:25:39 And it was discussed, but I think there was a consensus that it's fine. It's totally fine So you're saying that just now at the end of that story you just squeezed the fire extinguisher anyway But without any buildup you just went for it Well, it was when Jeff was fucking yelling about oh waiting all these weeks, and I was like here It is motherfucker and nothing happened. It was just silence all right, so take it out There's a gauge on it. Surely like a needle. I mentioned it said it was in the recharge zone and everyone's like,
Starting point is 00:26:10 that's fine. And everybody said, get it recharged. And I offered to find the fire department to do it at. I know where the fire department is. Then go. You need a fire extinguisher. Gavin offered to buy one.
Starting point is 00:26:22 He found one online. He said, $65. This one seems like a good one. And you were like, that seems too expensive. And I was like, it's less expensive than your apartment burning down. You have a cord that makes sparks every time you try and use it. You need this.
Starting point is 00:26:33 If anybody we know needs a fire extinguisher, it's you. You need a few of them. I put it in a lot of bags. I'm working on getting it out. It's to the point now where I'm not ever getting my hopes up about anything we do on this show. But that was a real flat ending. That was a real... That was our year celebration.
Starting point is 00:26:51 We talked about that a year ago. Gavin, it's almost as if we could have predicted it was happening and we tried to intervene before it happened. Oh, no. Oh, no. It did go off. It did go off. I just couldn't hear it. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Oh, no. What does that mean? What does that mean? It was sour. It did go off! It did go off, I just couldn't hear it! Oh no! Oh no! What does that mean? What does that mean? It was powder all over the place! Oh no! Wait a second! He's recovering it! Wait a second!
Starting point is 00:27:17 Wait a second! It was in the bag! It never left the first bag! When I ripped it! It was the only bag I taped, so I ripped it open and powder's everywhere! Oh no! How much powder is there? Let's get a... There's a lot of powder!
Starting point is 00:27:38 There's too much powder! Oh no! Where do I take this bag? How did you not know? I had to just like, spurt it I think. I gotta, oh no. Where do I take this bag? How did you not notice? I had to just, I like spurt it, I think. This is like a little spurt. So what happens if you squeeze the handle now?
Starting point is 00:27:53 Nothing. It's done. So it just coughed and that was it? Yeah, it was a cough, but it coughed all over the bag. And the powder's everywhere. I gotta be honest, I didn't think that the powder would go everywhere when you opened the bag. Neither did I. On a scale of 1 to 10, how big of a mess are we talking about? Oh, it's not like the worst mess.
Starting point is 00:28:16 It's like a 6, but it was an unexpected, my hands of powder on them. I was just ripping through it, because I wanted to pull to confirm. So it's like if you ripped open a bag of flour? Yeah, sort of. Maybe not like a big bag, but yeah, there's a flour bag of it. And now if you spray it, squeeze it outside of the bag, nothing happens.
Starting point is 00:28:38 Squeezing it, it's dead. I wish you had your phone on. Yeah, well... Well, Gavin, I got news for you, buddy. He can have the phone on or he can be in the podcast, but he can't do both. You gotta take your pick. I mean, I sent him a phone. I should have sent an extinguisher with it.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Just giving him all the time. Andrew needs all the ingredients. Speaking of all the ingredients and long-term commitments, you may remember back when this show started, maybe it was episode three, this begun. This has been a long time coming. I said some things about basket weavers. I made some comments.
Starting point is 00:29:17 I don't even remember what I said at this point, but I had an ongoing feud with the basket weaving community. It was one of the earliest recurring bits we had, I think. I think it was the first one we did have. And you did some research and you were telling us about this basket weaver who was very famous. But then... Leona Waddell. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:35 But then you didn't read on and could tell us nothing about it. Yeah. I just learned that that was who the top basket weaver was and was not prepared to answer any questions relating to the person. So I got a kit. I got a kit i got a kit i begun the process i made a few mistakes i made the assumption you know you scan the instructions i assume that everything you needed would come into the kit that was not the case everything required to make the basket was not part of the kit so i i the first thing is you have to cut the wood into eight 15 inch pieces and then the next step was join it with string. I didn't have any string as out of string
Starting point is 00:30:13 So we used ribbon it was a real conversation between floss or ribbon I ended up going with ribbons nice orange ribbon Nice little orange ribbon it really ties it together i love orange my favorite color we're off to the races so then next step is the weaving part the instructions weren't weren't all that clear you know but we uh we committed to it we're working so this is step two this is probably about i don't know an hour into this process this is this the second. We're building a basket. The basket is on its way We are creating art is what we're doing. We're weaving looks fantastic We're weaving like the best of them kind of has a whole vibe at the moment Yeah And I was not gonna give up until I made this basket, so I was I was up late
Starting point is 00:31:00 Is that a little bow tie that's so cute? Have you like snapped or Or is that just some, is that like the end of what you were weaving? Sticking up there? That's the end of what I was weaving, I believe. Or maybe not. It's hard to tell.
Starting point is 00:31:14 It's a complicated thing, the basket weave. So I was up for a long time last night trying to put this together. It reminded me of when I was a kid in school. I've had this kit for weeks and I just put it off until the night before and realizing I didn't have the prep I needed
Starting point is 00:31:28 and getting stressed. It was like I was trying to submit an assignment again. And how those assignments went, you could see the final product, our basket, is a piece of true art. It's beautiful. We got a basket. I did it, guys.
Starting point is 00:31:40 I weaved a basket. Why is it so much more sparse than it was in the second picture? Did you pull out all that? What have you done to it? You did! You took it out. You gave up and you just stretched what you'd done. So this is- I can see that. You accordioned it out! Do that to my car!
Starting point is 00:31:56 You don't get that passed us. So what happened was, I didn't like the initial weave, so then I pulled it all out but then all the wood dried so then I had to re-wet the wood and I could never recapture the magic that was the first weave but we put that was you're looking at four hours of weave work so so how do you feel about I can't. I can't. He's going to be picking raspberries and shit and then dropping through. Blueberries leaking all over the road. If you could describe that, Jeff, to people listening who can't see this picture, what does that look like?
Starting point is 00:32:37 What is it? I don't know. It looks like a tumbleweed with orange string on it. It's a tumbleweed with a handle. Tumbleweed with a handle. It started off so promising. Like that first picture, he's like, oh, he's really, look how even it all is. He's really putting it in.
Starting point is 00:33:10 The second one, oh, I can't wait to see what this is gonna look like Instructions are not very good. It's very complicated. I Tried my best. I'm not an arts and crafts guy. I've never weaved anything I feel like I need to issue an apology to the basket we've been community. I have been humbled I respect I respect the craft. I don't think I'm done with baskets. I think a year from now, I'll work on my second basket. If you carry that and walking to the left of that, you would be stabbing yourself in the leg.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Look at all the jagged shit coming out the sides. Berry picking is very competitive. I need to be ready. Do me a favor. Save that. Of course. I'm not getting rid of my basket. Are you crazy? We need that. What's that above it? Are we going for some gummy bears? What is that? Yeah, it's some gummy bears.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Just in case you need to fuel up. Need to do a little fueling between the weave. Oh, yeah. Got some gummy bears. The instructions brought them right. Instructions and his gummy bears. Yeah, and a tape measure. It's a frog tape measure. So that's the basket.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Your life is like if someone got locked in the Blue's Clues house and grew up. Just stop that. So Millie Ramsey has been very quietly listening to the last 15 minutes of this or so next to me and she died at that thank you she just the blues clues thing just killed her yeah on the floor oh my god oh so that was actually i don't know if you delivered on the fire extinguisher or not you definitely pulled it back but it doesn't matter because this basket is phenomenal. Like it eclipsed.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Who gives a shit about fire extinguishers now? I still do because I have to clean it up as soon as we're done. Outside of that, I agree. Whether it's for work or for play, a lot of us are going to be on the move again this summer. And if you're not, you're probably going to be doing something equally cool, like waiting till your annoying neighbor goes out of town and then breaking into their backyard and swimming in their pool all summer while they're none the wiser. So whether you're going to do that or whether you're getting on a plane or going on a road trip
Starting point is 00:35:23 or maybe you're going to yacht somewhere, I would take your Raycons with you. So whether you're listening to this podcast or another certain theme park related podcast that's also very popular, a pair of Raycon wireless earbuds in your ears would make all the difference. You get crisp, powerful beats at half the price of other premium audio brands. Raycons look great, and they feel even better. Just touch them. They come in a range of cool colors, and with customizable gel tips included for a comfortable in-ear fit. It's like a little ear massage for your ear. Don't get too relaxed. And Acons are built to go wherever you go, with quick and seamless Bluetooth pairing and a compact charging case. Also, if you're like me and you forget to charge
Starting point is 00:36:10 stuff before you go on long trips, sometimes Raycons are great because they have like a 24 hour battery life. So even if you, uh, predictably, if your name is Jeff Ramsey, forgot to plug them in the night before, chances are they got enough juice to get you through the trip anyway. So listen up. Raycon is offering 15% off all their products for our listeners, and here's what you've got to do to get it. Go to buyraycon.com slash face. There, you'll get 15% off your entire Raycon order, and it's such a good deal, you'll want to grab a pair and a spare. That's 15% off at buyraycon.com slash face. Buyraycon.com slash face. If you've listened to this podcast for a while, you've probably heard me mention the Jordan Harbinger Show before,
Starting point is 00:36:51 and now I'm going to do it again. This episode is brought to you by the Jordan Harbinger Show. You want a new podcast to look forward to each week? One that's entertaining, informative, and which is not this podcast, by the i would i highly think we're entertaining but i certainly wouldn't say we're informative or packed with actionable content come on of course you do the average podcast listener listens to six shows in rotation so you're most likely not just listening to well okay you probably are listening if you've if the average listener has you're the average listener you have six shows in, probably four and a half we have round up. So five are probably this podcast, which leaves one more for the Jordan Harbinger show. The Jordan Harbinger show is a top shelf podcast named Best of Apple in 2018. So don't
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Starting point is 00:38:44 Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Oh, by the way, I was thinking about the first 30 minutes or so of this podcast. I might have been a little hot. I apologize if I was a little aggressive. A little hot? DMV frustrates me. I think you called me a pickle-licking freak in rage. A little hot. You know, in some societies, that's a compliment, though.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Yeah, which one? I mean, it could be in certain sectors of America. You know, pickle lovers out there. Sure. And freak. You could be like, oh, I'm freaky. Okay. Cool.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Okay. Freak's a compliment. I have a question for you, Jeff. Yeah? Have you applied to Soho House recently? What is this? Did I just luckily ask you? Yeah. I meant to tell him i put him down
Starting point is 00:39:27 i got asked i got all right here's a funny story so somebody invited me to the soho house like some uh for a non-roosterteeth friend and i thought you know they're opening up one in austin and i thought yeah well i'll apply why not fuck it i've been to it a few times you and i had a great burger there right yeah and so I was filling out the application because it's like hey you've been invited to join this thing by this other dude do you want to join and I was like yeah sure and so I was like yeah and then at the bottom it's like hey do you know anybody else who's in Soho house and I go well I do know one person who's in Soho house so I just put down James and then it said be sure to let him know you told us and I thought I should remember to do that
Starting point is 00:40:06 Explain explain why so fast. Thank you Gavin We get the fucking origin of the DMV and he just skates through so ho house. What the fuck is a so ho house I feel like the DMV is much more accessible than so what is the so ho house? I feel like if you know what the DMV is, you know what Soho house is. I don't know what a Soho house is. I know what the DMV is. It doesn't require an explanation. I don't want to over-explain shit anymore. I've
Starting point is 00:40:33 been lambasted for it in this very episode. I'm not going to wax poetic and over-explain shit that people don't need to know anymore. A lesson learned. So if Gavin wants to explain it and he if he wants to waste everybody's time he can go right ahead but uh i'm not gonna be the one that does it what is buckley mad at me no buckley was buckley just sent sent me he forwarded me the email that he got sent
Starting point is 00:40:56 by so house and i was like let me guess he didn't mention that to you in any way at Buckley Road. I didn't hear a sausage. Yeah, well, I did. Let him know as my go-between between Buckley and I, let him know that I did. Okay. That I did, that that's accurate. And that I meant to follow up with him, but they were faster than I was. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Andrew, Soho House is like a shmarmy kind of well it's for me that sounds like a negative word i shouldn't say that uh it's it's it's like a fancy kind of like bar club like restaurants like we're like people network and you need a membership we need to be like referred by people and it's a whole thing i don't have a membership yeah i don't either but nobody's ever offered me one i I appreciate that. That was a good explanation, Jeff. I appreciate that. That was very clear.
Starting point is 00:41:49 I thought I would at least apply. Oh, dude, guys, do you remember how I got some confirmation on something? Do you guys remember how we were talking the other week and I told you the story about the lady falling off the horse? And yeah, yeah. Then I told you later that I was really bummed out about how I told it and how I thought I didn't tell it well.
Starting point is 00:42:06 You're going to give it another go? Well, no, no, no, no. But I got confirmation that I told it badly because, you know, Emily's best friend, Vanessa, who's a real cool lady and who loves F*** Face
Starting point is 00:42:17 and listens to every episode. They like work together at the salon or whatever. She came in to Emily that day and she goes, hey, I just got caught up on F*** Face and I got to ask you a question. Andily's like yeah what's up and she goes why did jeff fuck up that horse story he told it so much she goes he told it so much better in
Starting point is 00:42:31 person it's like why did he tell she's like he left out all the best stuff and emily's like i know oh well damn so i have independent confirmation that i did fuck up that story still a good story i still liked it i honestly, I think the telling of the car crash story was only slow because I knew the end result of it. Not knowing what happened in the horse story, that being my first version of it, I had nothing to compare it to. Good story.
Starting point is 00:42:57 Yeah. Well, also, he did start even today's story by saying, here's how I lost my car. That is true. He did open... Which earlier in the podcast was bleep i never liked when movies do that when they start at the end and work work back i'm not a fan of that plot device 12 weeks earlier yeah by the way i feel like i should reference or i should say uh
Starting point is 00:43:17 nobody was injured yeah i was gonna side it was a it was it was just a fender bender for him for us it was you know some of a new car. But it was like, it really, like I was going to say, the safety measures on these new cars are phenomenal. I don't get in a lot of accidents. So it's not something that I deal with a lot. And it was, yeah, it was crazy. The car was pretty fucked up.
Starting point is 00:43:38 But it absorbed 100% of the impact. We really didn't feel it. It was nuts. I was going to ask that, but I was too busy laughing. I forgot. It was, I really got into and and i feel like jeff will struggle to do the same delivery twice like if he's telling a story jeff's been getting some full starts recently like we did our face stream recently uh-huh jeff delivers the most energetic amazing amazing intro. Turns out we weren't live yet.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Then during our summer games in spring thing, we moved outside and Jeff very energetically talked about the rules to this water throwing challenge thing we were doing. Got all the way through it. About four minutes in, he's like, all right, are we ready? And then the person holding the camera was like, all right, Jeff, we're live on you. And i guess they've just been playing like a recap of the show while
Starting point is 00:44:30 everyone repositioned outside jeff did it again it's like twice in two weeks that jeff's like and then the second time he's like all right well like i was saying yeah it's it's uh i think it's deliberate at this point. What do you think, Eric? I don't know. I think that he, I don't know that it's deliberate. I think that he uses so much of what he's got. Like when, you know, like, you know, like when he does like the big intro and then he gets mad that he did the big intro.
Starting point is 00:45:00 I feel like that's what it is. I just don't think he can match that energy and enthusiasm a second time but the thing is no one ever is like jeff hold up we're not live everyone just stands there filming him let's go for like four straight minutes they let us go on that break shit show they let me go for six minutes i had a pack of cards in my hand i was about to open the first goddamn pack of cards on the show in the history of the fucking show and and then gavin goes is the chat not updating no it wasn't even that no one even said anything are we not live and then they go oh yeah yeah no you you haven't been live at any point the only reason i asked is because people at broadcast were just like loudly chatting to
Starting point is 00:45:43 each other and i was like wait are we not on because everyone's just talking loudly i wasn't there in studio i i'm watching a link from the outside going wow this happened really fast we just all of a sudden here's the intro i didn't get a note or anything that we were like oh i guess we're gonna do a dry run real quick it was just like we're doing the show because then all of a sudden the intro played and I went, oh, OK, I guess we're OK. Let's all right, guys, have a good show. And then I muted myself. And then that was I don't that intro was very good, though. Thanks, man.
Starting point is 00:46:14 It was the setup, too, is so good of like you were saying literally you said, Jeff, has anyone explained to you how we're going to start this show? Jeff said no. And then as soon as you went to be you're like, OK, so the music's going to start and then we're going to start this show. And Jeff said, no. And then as soon as you went to be, you're like, okay, so the music's going to start and then we're going to pan into you. And then the music kicked off and Jeff had a panic. Are we live? And then it like quick zoomed into him. It was great.
Starting point is 00:46:34 I love the idea of Jeff being like, wow, that was short instructions. Here we go. Straight in. We should play that somewhere. We should upload that. We should. Well, also, I thought it was live because it was past the time we were supposed to start yeah and that was like i had every reason to believe it was live the red lights were on everything was real except it wasn't live well you know you guys
Starting point is 00:46:56 are right in that uh i can't it's not that i can't match my energy from the first to the second performance. It's that I don't on a core foundational in my soul level. I don't want to do the same thing twice. Yes. Yeah. Same performance. I totally don't. I don't I don't know what it is and I don't know why, but it is why I do content like this. It's why I do face and why we did Let's Plays and Achievement Hunter and I do podcasting because I don't like to do podcasting because i don't like to do prepared stuff and i don't like to have to repeat it i hate i hate doing anything kind of that's why you don't see me in a lot of a lot of narrative stuff outside of red versus blue because i just don't like to deliver lines because i just i can only get it right once and every subsequent
Starting point is 00:47:38 attempt gets worse everything's better the first time especially reaction-based stuff like i've been asked a few times if we're doing like a big shoot or like a slow-mo thing but all right we didn't quite get that just react to that again i'll be like no we just didn't get it it doesn't work that way it's just we missed it sorry get get it next time and there are some people who are so good at acting like like matt hollum who can just do it and he can give you 10 different reads all different and all hilarious i can give you i guarantee you the first read i give you is the best and only good read. And no matter how hard I try, it will only get worse going forward.
Starting point is 00:48:12 And so you just like, the first take is the only take. It's like the opposite of practice. Yeah. Oh, it is exactly the opposite of practice. That is exactly what it's like. We have another thing we need to talk about before this episode ends. I feel like we only got to two of your six things, Andrew.
Starting point is 00:48:26 I only got to one of my four things, but my shit's not important. I mean, I only have two things left. I feel like we touched on four of them. So I asked in the past, what are some loose threads in the past year of this podcast? Number one by far was the basket. It was the top thing people wanted some resolution on.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Number two is the bet that I had with Gavin. The Halo bet, the 24-hour challenge bet. We need to revisit this, Gavin. We need to talk about what has happened. Here's what we need to do. Long term, we need to start writing stuff down. We need a challenge keeper. We need someone probably whose name rhymes with Fleric
Starting point is 00:49:03 to write down the terms and enforce the rules. You mean a judge? Yeah. I nominated him last week. I didn't remember what the actual details of the bet were. I didn't even remember what we would win or whether it was a double or nothing. I thought it was a pencil thing. I thought it was a $500 thing.
Starting point is 00:49:20 Someone said it was a gum thing. It's a gum thing. I remember that now. Yeah, it was a gum thing. Someone said it was a gum thing. It's a gum thing. I remember that now. Yeah, it was a gum thing.
Starting point is 00:49:27 You have to put a piece of gum in your mouth for 10 seconds of my choosing. Within like a decent, like, not going to make you like use secondhand gum or whatever. It's like it had to be a fresh stick. I remember it now. We concluded the bet last week, though. And it turns out maybe everything was wrong about it. I think your memory and like once the first time ever i think i'm right on this show and it was the one time you had absolutely no confidence in yourself yeah i was like i'm always wrong so whatever so i i very i said to gavin we could do two things either we just i lost the bet
Starting point is 00:49:58 and i'm okay with that because i accepted the terms even though they were wrong or we could run it back and we can do it properly i'm all for running it back doing it properly original terms okay so you need to pick a level then from my understanding of your thing i think i know what yeah i figured i still need to do that one so i don't know do we record a thing outside of this or like when that episode airs it's gonna be how do we do this because it's logistically a nightmare now where next episode that airs the bed is over then a week from then the bed is back on how do we do this how do we approach with the timeline it's very confusing yeah with a 24 hour time window on something that is always two weeks ahead of release it's very difficult like how do we get in sync uh maybe i don't we record a thing that we throw onto the
Starting point is 00:50:45 front of the next episode and then i'll just stream by next episode you mean the one from last week yeah the one that is gonna air next so the one we recorded last week so 51 so 51 yeah we record a thing maybe at the end of this quickly well do we even need to explain it because we already explained it here i don't know what we're gonna do well we're just gonna say we messed up everything about this bet we know we're fixing it when we initially explained it here. I don't know what we're going to do. Well, we're just going to say we messed up everything about this bet. We know we're fixing it. When we initially talked about this, I just remembered, I think we even discussed that we would write down the time that the bet started and then 24 hours later, we would come back and talk about it regardless of whether it was one or not.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Oh, yeah, we didn't do that. So we we need to do that. Like tomorrow at 3.52 p.m. 1.52 your time, Andrewrew we need to be discussing this bet okay so are we starting the bet now i don't know it's up to you guys but whenever we do start it we need to film why don't you explain the origins of of bets for betting yeah okay well this goes back to the brawn age okay it's gonna take some time little dickhead It's up to y'all whenever you start the bet, but I do think we should adhere to that part of it. What's the best way to get in sync with the audience so that we can potentially do something live?
Starting point is 00:51:52 Because Andrew, I've heard, has his Twitch account back. I think I have it back. I got locked out of my Twitch account. How'd you lose it? They said you need to change your password, and they refused to send me a password reset email. And so I was doing research on what happens typically when you you're in that spot and people just generally lose their account like they're the twitch will just say like oh we can't verify that this is ever you
Starting point is 00:52:13 uh we're not giving it back but my tablet could sign into the account so i was able to make a few changes so i think i can get the account back but it's just a matter of of when do we start and i can just stream it's probably going to take me hours to beat gavin's time so should we say when the stream will be on the little extra bit we record yes okay and then we just we should decide that now right so we don't drag this into another episode when can you do it when does that episode come out next wednesday do i start on wednesday do i start at like a.m. so that'd be the 19th of May well I don't know why we're saying in this
Starting point is 00:52:48 one this one's the 26th of May when this comes we're just we're deciding when this will start and it'll be over by the time that people this bet the audience will know the winner or and loser of the bet before this airs let's just say I'll start I'll do it on the day we
Starting point is 00:53:04 stream and we don't this is unneeded this'll start, I'll do it on the day we stream. And we don't, this is unneeded, this conversation, now that I think about it. But the point is... You wanted to have this conversation in the episode. Well, I brought, we needed to discuss that the bet was still on in this episode, then I thought we'd record a thing after the episode for the episode before.
Starting point is 00:53:19 I mean, do we verify that the bet is still on? Do we go back and check the tapes as to what was said? Or are we just going to just say, screw it, it's still on? You can do that if you want. As I said, it's very suspicious that Gavin goes through the fucking archives on every single thing I've said, except this one issue. This is the one
Starting point is 00:53:34 thing that he refuses to go back to. That's an interesting point. I don't like what I'm going to find, I think. Gavin usually brings the receipts, and he is definitely not. I think the receipts have been shredded. So we run it back. I guess we'll just do the bet on Wednesday. I'll start it up. I'll stream again.
Starting point is 00:53:49 So last week's episode is all about how you lost again. The bet is, okay. Eric brings up a great point. Let's just go over everything. But it's already happened, Eric. It's over. It is true. What's the point? Do you think we should explain the bet that ended a week ago?
Starting point is 00:54:05 Yes, because there are people who are going to consume every piece of content that we do outside of the podcast that is the thing that they do listen to. That's fair. That's a great point, Eric. So Gavin picked out skirts. I have 24 hours to beat out skirts from what time? I'll say 8 a.m. I'll start 8 a.m. on Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:54:20 My time, 8 a.m. Pacific. If I beat the time from the time I beat it gavin then has 24 hours from that point to take the time back we go back and forth until one of us cannot beat the time is that it i feel like that covers it if i win gavin has to eat gum if i lose i don't know what happens can i ask some questions here yeah of course how confident are you gavin that andrew will not be able to beat your time he will 100 beat my. How confident are you that if he beats your time, you can reclaim it within 24 hours? 70%?
Starting point is 00:54:49 Really? How confident are you, Andrew, that if you take his time and he takes it back, that you can take it back again? 100%. Oh, really? I thought there's 0% chance you'll take it back the second time,
Starting point is 00:55:01 because I think you glitched into it somehow. I don't think the time I'm beating right now is completely genuine. You're talking about my new technique? Yeah, I'm talking about whatever your technique was. I don't think you did it on purpose. I think the game glitched in some way and that there's no way you'll be able to duplicate what I do if I beat it. I think Gavin watches way too many speedruns. I don't think that's true because I sent Gavin a speedrunning thing for like how to do it and
Starting point is 00:55:24 he's like, I've never seen this in my life i'll be honest i've not watched a speed run for this level all right well there you go i've seen like big like a marathon of the whole game but i've not been like studying anything okay well i think that's resolved we have anything else we need how long have we been going at this point uh we're about right there um i uh i mentioned a couple weeks ago and i only say this now because i mentioned a couple weeks ago that I'm turning into Bernie, and Jack asked me about it today because I guess I never talked about it, and he wanted to know what I meant.
Starting point is 00:55:50 So, Andrew, I don't know if this will mean anything to you, but I think, Gavin, I think this will hit home with you. I've become a kind of a person that I never wanted to be, and it's really fucking with me, and I don't like it. And it's one of those things where, like, when you become a different person, how do you fix, like, how do you go back? And I don't like it. And it's one of those things where like when you become a different person, how do you fix like how do you go back? And I don't I don't know how to do that. But
Starting point is 00:56:09 Bernie used to do this here. I'll explain this. I have now started and I don't know why. What year was Bernie born? Yeah. Leaving fucking half empty soda cans all over my house. Oh, Bernie used to do at work. Do you remember that? Like every we all hated Bernie because he would drink two sips of a Coke and put it down and walk away and open up another Coke and take three sips of Coke and put it down and then walk away and pick up a third Coke and open it, not take any sips. And it would be on everybody's desks, but his. Yeah, you just walk around with a trash can picking up useless undrank sodas from Bernie.
Starting point is 00:56:41 I do that. I'm doing it like six, seven times a day right now. And I am powerless to stop myself. Does it have anything to do with the fact that I sent you 48 cans of Coke? Am I at all responsible for this issue? No, I wish. I wish I could blame it on you.
Starting point is 00:56:56 You are going to be responsible for whatever damage all this Captain Crunch does. So what is it? You just don't hold onto it? You're just walking around all the time? Like, if you're sat at your desk, surely you're just sipping on it until it's gone. Well, I move around a lot, right?
Starting point is 00:57:11 The other day, I picked up a Diet Pepsi can, and I was like, goddammit, guys, this is full. And I went to Emily, and I'm like, who's Diet Pepsi can? It was like, which one of y'all isn't finishing your fucking sodas? And Emily's like, dickhead, nobody drinks soda but you. And I was like, oh yeah. She's like, I drink water, and drink water and so does millie and i'm like oh yeah i guess it is 100 me and then
Starting point is 00:57:31 i realized that it is me and now i'm wondering was it really bernie or was it me and i didn't know that that's not true it was definitely really bernie it had to be i remember that that well but why the fuck can't i keep why can't i i don't want to be the kind of person that does that. I want to maintain positive control over my soda until I complete it. How do you not have a bunch of flies? Doesn't that attract a little sugar? No! I drink diet soda.
Starting point is 00:57:56 But I just don't understand. It's really frustrating me. And that's all. Why don't we adopt some Edward Fortyhan style training? Tape it on. we could do that the only other thing i had is that andrew scared my girlfriend i don't know that's i'd love to know how it was a pleasant conversation what did i do i'll tell you the other i was i was talking to my girlfriend earlier today or yesterday i don't think it was yesterday and she goes uh she very cautiously goes uh you guys talk about christmas at all in the upcoming in the upcoming episodes you've recorded and i go i don't think so why and she
Starting point is 00:58:30 goes oh no reason i was just curious and i was like well now there's there's definitely a reason you know we don't just ask questions like that there's obviously a reason and i was like okay what's going on and she goes uh it's not me and i had it took me a while to get it out of her and then she's like i don't know i just like with it, and it took me a while to get it out of her, and then she's like, I don't know, I was just like, Andrew asked me a question about Christmas, and then I just, I don't know if it's like a bit, and I don't want to like,
Starting point is 00:58:49 I don't want to praise a bit, and she didn't want to talk about it, and then it was like a whole thing, and then she's like, and I was like, well, Andrew and I
Starting point is 00:58:55 did have a conversation about our favorite Christmas movies, maybe it was just that, and then she's like, eh, I don't know, he was asking me about Christmas songs,
Starting point is 00:59:02 and then she was like, kind of showed me the conversation, she was being real protective of it, and it looked just like a genuinely lovely conversation about you guys sharing your favorite christmas songs and i looked at and i go i think you just had a genuine conversation with andrew about christmas and enjoying christmas songs and she was just like how do you guys live like this i was like i don't know that makes no sense i don't understand she didn't trust you because she was scared like, how do you guys live like this? I was like, I don't know. That makes no sense. I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:59:27 She didn't trust you because she was scared that it was some sort of a bit. No. Or like there was some sort of a, she was being pranked. No. Or she was participating in a prank that she wasn't aware of. I love that over her own confusion, she puts the sanctity of the bit first. Oh, a hundred percent. That's great.
Starting point is 00:59:43 A hundred percent. Like she was protecting a bit that didn't exist. And she was protecting Andrew in a way that didn't exist. And at the end, when I finally got through, I'm like, I know,
Starting point is 00:59:52 I think you just had a genuine human moment with Andrew. And she was just like, I don't know how you guys live like this. I don't know how you trust each other.
Starting point is 00:59:59 I don't know how, like, it's just, it's exhausting. And I'm like, yeah, I fucking agree with you. It is. Okay, so this is my perspective of that conversation. Jeff and I were talking about Christmas.
Starting point is 01:00:07 I'm a big Christmas guy. I love Christmas. And he brought up, I say it because it makes Gavin laugh. It's my favorite thing. You brought up that your girlfriend loves Christmas. Super into Christmas. I was like, you know what? I haven't, I haven't talked to.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Well, I mean, in the sense that you asked me what my favorite holiday was, and we talked about that. And then you asked what Emily's favorite holiday was, and I said, she's a Christmas person. Did I ask that? I genuinely don't remember if I asked that question. I don't know. Maybe I volunteered or you asked it.
Starting point is 01:00:30 I don't know. I don't remember how we got... Anyway, it seemed like they were super into Christmas, and I was like, you know, it's a basic thing. I'm curious what their list would be. They sent me their top five Christmas songs. While they're concerned that this is a bit, or paranoid over that, I'm just listening to the songs i wasn't all that familiar with just having a great time eating a mcdonald's breakfast i was having a great time it was a great day i was just enjoying music and
Starting point is 01:00:53 little did you know you're ruining someone else's little did i know that they thought this was this whole bit in her defense nine times out of nine it is related in some way to content to be yeah completely fair almost every conversation we've had is some way related to a bit or fucking with you i just love that our paranoia is infecting the people that we care about in our lives outside of the show and i would say our own paranoia is an all-time low like i've been no no no you're still paranoid no okay we need to talk about this thing this is maybe what we close on maybe a month and a half ago or two months ago eric brought up that he got a slack message from
Starting point is 01:01:30 somebody uh and that he thought it was one of us because they didn't have a profile picture and it just seemed very suspicious the timing of it they said they work in the finance department and i remember hearing eric say this was, that seems overly paranoid. That same person slacked me yesterday and I immediately went, this is a bit. This is a prank. Somebody's fucking with me. They're the most suspicious person without cause. I think it's our own paranoia
Starting point is 01:01:56 I've ever interacted with. And every conversation I've had with them since then just makes me more paranoid. I don't think they're real. I kind of think they're real. They have to be real, but I'm pretty sure it's somebody. Why are you talking to the finance? Somebody from fine.
Starting point is 01:02:09 They reached out to me. Why? Let me poke. I'll pull up the fucking conversation. That's what that was. Something that I thought was odd. I got a load into slack, but yeah,
Starting point is 01:02:17 I, it just, it randomly appeared. And I remember saying like thinking when Eric brought it up, that that's weird. And my first reaction was, that's not a real person. This person doesn't exist.'s fucking with me so you and eric are both talking to a person and you both believe they don't exist i and that you you think that that that that person
Starting point is 01:02:35 you're talking to is i don't know me or gavin or somebody else i yeah i don't i'm not sure i'm to what end would that would we be pranking you I don't know. But it's just they were very suspicious. Here, I'm pulling up Slack right now. I got a message. You know what honestly was the trigger word for me? This is what they messaged me. Yo, you don't know me. Big fan.
Starting point is 01:02:55 I work on the finance team. I don't trust the finance person that opens with yo. That seems very suspicious. I don't feel like that fits my concept of what that person would be i want to see if this person's messaged me what's the name of the person great i messaged eric immediately that i'm now completely on board this person is very suspicious oh they have messaged me that's interesting and then i went into polite mode so i just said it's nice to meet you greg and their next response was a screenshot of their conversation with eric saying that eric
Starting point is 01:03:26 thought that greg was an andrew panton prank and uh their response was dude i'm not sure i'm not an andrew panton prank and then they told me they told me let me know if you want to use this smiley face which i interpreted as like fuck with eric more through them and i'm like this i cannot this person is a wild card i don't know how to deal with this person because if they're saying to me that i can use them to fuck with eric then that means that they're open to being like fucking with me it goes both ways it's an impossible to read i take back everything i said about paranoia yeah you seem incredibly paranoid right now i didn't realize you were allowed to have a slack account without a picture on it. I then said to them, respectfully, I'm not entirely sure you exist. And then their reply was
Starting point is 01:04:08 right back at you, bud, which is a super suspicious reply. What kind of company was someone in finance just screwing with us? I then replied back to them because they're the most suspicious person I've ever met. I said, have you ever played among us?
Starting point is 01:04:26 And they said yeah, and I replied do you get voted out first every game you play? I do not believe that you're a real person I said I want to believe you're real and they replied don't we all and I was like I don't fucking know what this is Not a person. this is not a real person i went person you meet at a bar and then you go get him a drink and you come back and they're gone yeah it was a whole it was a whole thing they claimed the only thing that made me think that they were a person is i talked about i apologized if i was being overly paranoid and they replied that they were in it for the chaos and they said it's like visiting sesame
Starting point is 01:05:04 street and instead of meeting puppeteers, I turned into a puppet. I'm like just thinking that they're part of some bit. This is like my Christmas version, but Eric has an update, I believe, on the extent of the realness of this individual. This will have to take us out because we're way over time,
Starting point is 01:05:20 but here's what happened. With this back and forth, I apologize because I went, because I got confirmation from our friend Lewis. I'm like, Lewis, who is Greg? And he said, this is Greg. Greg is a human man. And I'm like, I don't know, too close to Jeff.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Still don't believe it. Our fearless leader, Jordan, emailed the whole company today with like, hey guys, here's some organizational updates. This person's going to be doing this and Tony's going to be doing this and blah, blah, blah. And the last line is talking about, and Greg will continue to be doing this, this and this. And I messaged Andrew and I'm like, if it can't go, it can't possibly go this high. It can't, it can't possibly go to Jordan.
Starting point is 01:06:03 It can't. There's no way, right? i'll say this about jordan and eric i don't know if this will mean anything to you gavin i don't think it'll mean anything to you but andrew it's gonna mean a lot to you jordan's favorite movie is windy city heat no wow no when i told him you also loved Windy City Heat, he blew his mind. It's a great. So I guess don't stop worrying until someone at Warner starts talking about Greg. I understand what you're saying about how it couldn't possibly go to the top.
Starting point is 01:06:32 But our fearless leader, Jordan, has been involved in pranks throughout his career, the level of which we could probably not hope to achieve. Interesting. That's very interesting. Not to add to your paranoia or fuel the flames of paranoia, but I wouldn't make an assumption that it couldn't go that high up.
Starting point is 01:06:51 Honestly. I also know the answer. I think that was a pretty good trial period for F*** Face. We did a whole year. You probably know by now if you liked it or not. Thanks for listening. Should we do it again? Yeah, let us know if you want us to do another year. Maybe in year two we can find out who Greg
Starting point is 01:07:08 is. I wonder what I'll weave next. You can't move on from that basket as if you've weaved anything. What defines a basket? What defines a basket? Please end this episode. We have to go. We have to go. Goodbye. Thank you for one year of f***face.
Starting point is 01:07:27 Goodbye. What's the furthest south you've been? Love you! Just rate and review and all that stuff. And tune in in exactly one year when Andrew sets off another fire extinguisher. But this one's full! I'm back. I missed all that. What happened? My computer froze. I didn't hear anything
Starting point is 01:07:45 for the past 15. We good? Seriously? Yeah. Oh, it's over? Okay.

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