F**kface - Geoff's Kerfuffle & A Half // Engaging in the Doggery [61]
Episode Date: July 9, 2025Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Geoff's fuffle, lightning strike, carless DFW, travel innovation fun, skydiving, more emails, lifetime dog count, Frazier's Long & Low, smash dogs, buns, serial kill...er update, Minnesota, spaghetti, leasing cars, car life hack, change color, a new thing, Jack's bird, and judging a book by its cover. Sponsored by Shopify. Sign up for a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/face Also sponsored by Factor. Thanks Factor! Go to FACTORMEALS.com/REGULATION50OFF and use code REGULATION50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping on your first box. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to another episode of the regulation podcast.
This is number sixty one.
My name is Jeff and with me, as always, Andrew, Eric, Nick and Gavin.
Almost forgot that one. Decided to go first names only.
I'll be honest with you guys.
I may not be 100 percent here today.
I'm going to do my goddamn just.
But I had a bit of a I had a bit of a day yesterday.
You had a kerfuffle. You had a kerfuffle.
Yesterday was a kerfuffle you had a kerfuffle yesterday was a kerfuffle and a half shit
Yeah, it should be like a progress bar to unlock for full kerfuffle
Like at what point does it just Kerr and then you move into the fuffle and then it becomes a definitive full kerfuffle
I can tell you when it became a fuffle. Oh, let me explain the fuffle. Yeah, we can get there
So just to catch you up, I went out of town.
What's today? Thursday. I went to town on Tuesday because I hadn't seen my mother
in person in a little bit since Christmas.
And I wanted to make sure I wanted to go poker with a stick and make sure she was
still alive and stuff. And she is totally.
And but now she was having like she's having some health issues and she wanted
to see me.
So I flew out just unfortunately, I could only fly out for about 28 hours because
of some stuff we have and then travel and, you know, we're trying to cram another couple
of weeks where the content and for some more summer travel.
And there's just a lot going on.
And so I basically like jumped on a plane as soon as I could, took Millie as a surprise.
And we flew out there, had a lovely day in Alabama with her and my aunt
at the farm where they all live now,
and got up to leave on Wednesday,
and because my mom moved into my aunt's house,
she's on the other side of Mobile now,
which means I no longer fly into the Mobile Airport,
which is a, gotta say, dog shit airport.
But always empty, which is nice.
You know, like there's never been a line in history
in the Mobile Airport.
They also don't have stuff like TSA PreCheck,
because who would they need it?
Who would need it there, right?
Now, while they do the thing where you go through
and there's no separate line, you just,
if they see the TSA PreCheck on your ticket, they give you a laminated card
that's 100 years old, that's been folded and crinkled 37 times.
And then you just hand it to a guy and he goes, all right, you don't have to take your
shoes off and that's it.
There's no like separate line to go through to get faster or anything.
You're in the same line and everything.
You just don't take your shoes off when other people do if you have the blue card in your
hand. Anyway, so because she's on the other side like on the east side of mobile now
I flew into Pensacola, Florida for the first time because I don't know it was a little bit closer and the flights worked out
So I rented a car I
Got kind of I got curred a little bit renting the car because I had the car for 25 hours
Which meant they charged me for a second day, which I was a little annoyed by Because that made the car cost I had the car for 25 hours, which meant they charged me for a second day
Which I was a little annoyed by because that made the car cost like an extra hundred bucks
For one for one fucking hour, but it is what it is. What are you gonna do? My flight out?
Is it 350 p.m.?
So I get to the airport at about 230 and it's fucking slammed and Millie doesn't have TSA pre-check or global entry
and it's fucking slammed. And Milly doesn't have TSA pre-check or global entry.
So I was a little nervous because I assumed
the Pensacola Airport would be just as empty
as the Mobile Airport,
because they're like sister dog shit cities.
But it wasn't, it was fucking packed.
A lot of people like to go to Pensacola apparently,
or leave Pensacola apparently.
And so we had some stress getting through it all
without TSA pre-check
And then of course they have the same system where you just get the fucking laminated card, and you don't take your shoes off
Whatever go through
Sitting there waiting. We're about 15 minutes before we're about to board
lightning strikes
Visibly in front of us looking out the window, and I'm like ah fuck. They're not gonna
they're not gonna let us take off if there's lightning striking and
So they didn't they didn't let us take off and I'm looking at my connecting flight
I have about 45 minutes before the connecting flight starts boarding after I land
This is plenty of time in DFW to get from from the a terminal to the sea turtle
Million I only had about 15 minutes on the way out and we still made it with like four minutes to spare so I'm not super concerned I know we've
got some padding there and I know they always try to make up time in the air as
well you know how that goes and they're usually able to make up 15 or 20 minutes
and I'm looking at it I'm like this is nothing too concerning then I notice
that the flight that I'm gonna be taking from Dallas to Austin is late as well
coming in from Detroit and I'm like better. It took off 15 minutes late.
So we really have some time to play with.
And I'm just watching the,
the DFW gets shut down for a little while.
And so I'm just watching on my phone,
trying to figure out if we're gonna make
this connecting flight, you know?
And we're just sitting in Florida
and we're sitting in Florida and we're sitting in Florida.
And then they board us at about 4.45,
a full hour after we were supposed to take off.
And my.
My grace period in DFW has disintegrated and now we're going to land
two minutes before the other flight takes off.
And I'm like, we're probably not going to make this flight.
So I hop over to to see about switch into a later flight.
All the later flights are booked for American Airlines
for the rest of the night.
And I go, well, that sucks.
And so I thought, you know what?
This is something we Austinites deal with.
I'm sure it's affected.
Eric, maybe you haven't lived here long enough,
but I'm sure it's affected the others of you.
Every once in a great while,
we have to land at DFW as Austinites,
rent a car and drive it one way to Austin to get home.
Because you don't wanna be, because here's the thing,
it's about three hours and five minutes
from DFW to my house, right?
There's nothing worse than landing in Dallas at 8 p.m.
and not being able to leave until 8 a.m. the next morning
because all the flights got canceled,
and you have 12 hours and you're like,
it's a fucking three hour, I'm so close to home.
So every once in a while you rent a car one way and drive it home.
And that's just you just deal with it.
Well, and pro tip as well.
The last flight from Dallas to Austin is often a fake flight.
Is often a fake flight.
It just sometimes just gets canceled. Never goes.
Yeah, exactly.
And so I'm not hyper concerned because worst case scenario,
we're just going to drive home. But while we're on the we get-case scenario, we're just gonna drive home
But while we're on the we get on the plane, we're sitting on the runway
We sit on the runway for 45 minutes for we take off as soon as we take off
we have now definitely missed this other flight I've been thinking you know and
So there are no other flights for the rest of the day
I look for I think not not a big deal like I said not a big deal
I'll just rent a car once we get in the air get in the air turn the air
Turn the internet on the first thing that happens is I get an alert from American Airlines that says your your connecting flight has been canceled
aka
There are no more flights for you to take today. Please call this number our webs our app is down right now
Please call this number no schedule. Schedule your next flight.
And I'm like, I'm in the fucking air over Alabama.
How am I going to call American Airlines and change my fucking flight?
So I'm like, I'm kind of stuck.
But I'm also looking and there's no other flights for the rest of the day.
As a matter of fact, I look at all airlines just for the hell of it.
The only flight going out is a Southwest flight at a love field,
which is a different airport a half an hour away from DFW.
And I'm not going to land in DFW, get in an Uber, drive to another airport to get in a
fucking Southwest flight of all things to fly back to Alabama.
Right.
So I'm like, we are definitely taking the car.
So I load up Hertz and I go to rent a car and they're like, I'm sorry, there's no cars
at this airport.
And I go, that's weird.
So I, I load up orbits that has or kayak that has all of the different car rental
companies. And they're like, we're sorry,
there are no cars in the DFW airport at all.
So I have Emily check no cars at all.
So then I go, all right, well, worst case scenario,
worst case scenario, I, we land,
I Uber to a different location,
like our different Hertz or enterprise Rent-A-Car,
off airport, rent one of those cars, take it back.
No, no, there's not a car in Dallas for rent
within 40 miles of the DFW airport.
The first time in my life I have ever seen that.
Emily doesn't believe it, she's incredulous.
She looks, it's true.
And of course, I've got shitty plane internet, right?
So everything is hyper slow and it keeps disconnecting
and I have to like, I have to keep reinitializing
the American Airlines website.
That makes it work again.
And so it's a fucking nightmare.
It's like, you know, I don't know,
trying to research a term paper on a modem from 1989.
It's, I'm getting like 11K throughput.
It's fucking brutal.
And to do that thing where if you want to look at a picture of a woman
with her tits out, it just loads line by line and takes forever.
Yeah. And then you like at some point, you're like, that's enough tits.
I can go back. I don't need the lower half.
So I think I got all the almost to her belly button. That's good.
So I look like I got all the almost to her belly button. That's good.
So I'm a little nervous now because I'm landing in Dallas at seven thirty p.m.
now and there's no flights out of DFW.
I check that Southwest flight.
It's booked now so that I can't even take that if I want to.
Emily's like there's a bus you can take like a super speed bus that you can take from Dallas to Austin.
Oh, hell yeah.
I'm like, fuck it. We'll take the super speed bus.
Go to go to get get that.
Because it takes off from Dallas Love Field, the other airport that's 30 minutes away.
And it takes off sharp at 8 p.m.
I end up not landing till like 740, I think.
And so there's literally impossible for me to get to that one so then I go I'm gonna
Maybe I'll rent like a black car service, right?
And so I start looking at that. I can't find one for under like a grand So I go to Emily and I'm like I've given up I give up
We're stuck in Dallas for the night like I can't fucking believe
I'm three hours away from my front door and you my beautiful wife who I
Miss dearly because we are so codependent that even 24 hours apart is becoming difficult
I
Don't know what to do and she goes I'll take care of it
You're not spending the night in Dallas text me back and she goes cars gonna pick you up at baggage claim
Look for your name. She rented us a car service and that guy at 8 p.m. Last night in a black
Chevy Tahoe or a black suburban drove million I from the airport home. We didn't get home till almost midnight
That's nuts. Yeah, you get your own speed bus
Absolute and I would never have done it because of how much it cost it was brutal
It was absolutely, and I would never have done it because of how much it cost.
It was brutal, but I'm so glad she did
because I had so, you know, I had threaded that trip
so tightly because we have so much to do
over the next couple days.
Like we're recording nine videos, I think,
and streams over, in Thursday and Friday.
So I couldn't miss any of that, obviously,
because, you know, people start to go out of town again
real soon, and so I was kind of stuck.
Like I had to get home, and so I was kind of stuck like I had to
get home and
So I did something I didn't I didn't think I'd ever do in my life. I took a private car from Dallas to Austin
Because my wife booked it for me
Well, even if you flew very early this morning you probably would have been here in time for stuff
But you'd have been knackered you have to wake up like four or something. I would have gotten home at like 10, 15.
I probably would have landed at like 9.45.
So I'd have probably got home like 10, 10, 15, yeah.
And then basically turned on my computer
and sat down and got ready to go.
And with no, you know, I didn't have any more changes
of clothes or anything, because I was only at my mom's
for a night, so I had to have been dirty and gross.
And I don't do well in those situations.
So I would have not have, I'm already not all here today
Because for some reason after all that I slept like dog shit last night
Adrenaline something about being overtired makes you unable to sleep
Yeah, it's like your body gives you half of a second wind
Yeah, exactly and so I'm not all I'm not a hundred percent today
but I'm way better than I would be
if I'd had to go from a double tree to DFW
to home this morning.
And I gotta say, that's up there
with some of the shittiest customer service I've experienced
in that, fuck, American Airlines just was like, no.
And then the app just wouldn't load
for the rest of the night.
They're like, we're having app problems,
and it just crashed and crashed.
I never heard from American Airlines again.
Nobody called me. They just sent me one email that app problems and it just crashed and crashed. I never heard from American Airlines again. Nobody called me.
They just sent me one email that said your flight's been cancelled. Call us.
Like just didn't seem to give much of a shit at all.
No attempt to reschedule us by anybody and it's like start to it makes you wonder like what the fuck am I executive platinum for?
You know. You know what that email was? What? It was the Fuffle.
I was gonna say that's the moment I felt the Fuffle is when I was in the air
and I got the email telling me that my only course of action was to call them
while I was airborne, you know.
I have a question.
Were all of the other flights canceled or were they just full?
Cancelled, full, canceled and full.
It was a mixture of of them.
I guess there was some weather in Dallas yesterday.
They stopped the airport, shut the airport down for a little while.
And so they just cancelled a bunch of flights.
Did you try standby on any of those of the remaining ones?
No, I didn't try standby.
I didn't think it was I had Millie with me and I would have done
that a couple of years ago when Executive Platinum used to used to be have a little bit more
weight to it. But now it's it's nothing.
And I don't think I think if I tried to stand by, then I would have made it home at two in the morning instead of midnight
because I was taking the car later.
You know, I have a good standby look recently, though, because I often land in Dallas and I know that the last flight is
nine times out of ten just not going to go.
So I always stand by to an earlier flight.
And so many people miss their flights or miss their connections in Dallas.
I almost always get on.
Stand by for an earlier flight almost always works.
Standing by for a later flight never works.
That's a universal thing.
I don't know why, but stand by for a later flight never works for me.
I agree with you.
Sometimes you get lucky, you land a DFW and you're like,
there's a flight going to Austin in nine minutes.
I bet I can get to that gate.
I feel like 9-Eleven ruined all travel innovation for fun.
Everything serious.
Like, I'm trying to I'm trying to think of alternate methods
of of a world in which travel is unlimited, where we luxury
travel becomes actual luxury and not like your perk is you get to keep your shoes on.
What is the put that is the perk?
Like, I feel like because of events, it has pivoted
innovation into everything has to be taken super seriously at all times.
Like, what if there is a plane?
You know, because like if you get on a bus, a bus will take you several places, right?
Like it's going here to there and you can get off when you want to.
If you have a parachute license,
you should be able to just jump out of planes as they fly over.
Just like dump out at any point.
Just dump out. Yeah.
Like why I'm trying to think about like if you flew over Austin
or were within parachuting distance of Austin as a side solution
Potentially, it'd be a hefty waiver. I think you'd have to sign. Yeah, you like open you you open my eyes to this
And I never even considered this you're totally right like the perk is keeping your shoes on when the perk should be
Parachute because you're close. It should be like there should be fun stuff that like they're expanding on it.
Instead, it's like, oh, our innovation is we're making standable seats so more people can be in the plane.
That sucks. Let me jump out of the plane if I'm qualified and I have my license.
Oh, where are you headed? I'm on the flight to Hawaii.
But really, I'm not I'm hopping off over here.
I'm not going there. That's we're all we're all there
We're all there where we drop in boys that we just
Get out well you can't kick the door open because other people are like drinking their sodas and it's gonna make a that
That's a kerfuffle right there's a drop. Maybe if there was no there's a drop a room in the back
That's got like a door. Yeah, that's the that's the travel innovation fund that Andrew is requesting. I'm all for it. A moon door, yeah.
Can you jump out of a move or a plane and skydive?
Is that too fast?
At what point are you going too fast to skydive?
Wait, what are you, hang on, what are you,
what are you asking at the first part of what you just asked?
Cause you, I feel like, you know, like in Maverick two or Top Gun two.
It's not Maverick, too.
It's he's Maverick in the second run.
He's like flying through space or something in the beginning, and he's going super fast.
I feel like there's a speed in which you can't hop out of a plane.
I was just curious if airlines do they get that?
I feel like you can jump right because DB Cooper jumped so
it says
The plane you're traveling at flying at about roughly a hundred miles an hour when you're skydiving
So a flight at thirty three thousand feet
Like a commercial airliner is probably flying at about three hundred or three hundred fifty miles an hour
So it'd be zippy it'd be zippy.
It'd be zippy.
I think the thing that might be more dangerous
would be the temperature outside the plane
at the height that that plane is flying.
See, but you guys are still within the confines
of where we're at now.
Andrew's saying, what if there was innovation for fun?
And I'm on board.
We probably would get skin suits that keep you warm
at 33,000 feet, going 350 miles an hour
that let us cut through the air no problem.
That's what would have been innovated.
I'm okay with that.
I'm totally on board with that.
I was just throwing out what the problems
just to overcome would be.
Yeah, we gotta solve them.
But I do, I love the idea of a plane that instead of just landing at DFW,
it does a couple of zigzags over Austin for anybody that wants to jump out
and just go straight home and just fucking cut the airport all together.
We need to go here. You guys close here.
We get with this. What are you doing with your luggage?
You figure it out.
That there's there's got to be some kind of innovation for luggage.
I only had a backpack. I
Probably got a backpack
Where's your parachute? What about a little backpack parachute?
Well strap it on little shoots down with you. Where your backpack on the front parachute backpack on the back. There you go
I think would be a thing clearly where you can't just land wherever you want from the thing
There there'd be like a landing zone. Oh that takes away most of the benefit. No, I want to land on my front door
No, that's crazy
We can't be having that cuz that then you just got people fucking parachuting in from all over the city
Like it's just complete. Yeah, there needs to be a landing area. And in movies and like military movies, they have those things
where they like wrap up all of the packages and then shoot them at the plane.
And they have a parachute. Do that.
Well, like a like a loadout drop.
Yeah. You check it.
And it's like a loadout box and they know, OK, the people that are dropping here
need their shit pushed out at this point.
It's that that is what a direct flight is.
A direct flight is no jumpers.
You're just going there as fast as possible.
I'd be so down in the dumps if I dived out of a commercial airliner
and then had to get on a bus.
Yeah. Well, I want to land right in my front lawn.
I agree.
See, and this is this is the problem with innovation, Eric,
is we just introduced this idea that you can fucking jump from a plane.
Yes. Save.
And Gavin's upset about the bus ride after the riots.
We just created this whole new thing, and now he's mad at that.
He has to take a bus.
You're jumping out of a plane.
How's that any quicker?
I might as well just land in the airport, get my luggage and just get in a car there
The plane's not landing there. The plane's landing in a DFW. You just have to get out
You're not getting anyone over the age of 40 to jump out of this plane. That's fine. Oh, I'm Jeff's jumping
Well, we'll see. Oh, you need to have a license
You can't just jump my jumping out of the plane is contingent upon how much of a kerfuffle the day has been up to that
point You're in a regular flight your flight gets canceled you like our standby on an earlier one plane is contingent upon how much of a kerfuffle the day has been up to that point.
You run a regular flight.
If like gets canceled, you're like, oh, standby on an earlier one.
Okay. But this is a non lander.
Let me suit up.
I guess what would you do if let's say you slept through your drop, your drop point.
And then you have to let you just, I guess, jump out at the next city that they're flying over to get
That's on you. You gotta figure that out. That's definitely on you
I'm just it's the funny problem to have just stay on the plate at that point
Hmm. Oh, but every time like the longer you stay the further away you're getting from where you're supposed to get out
If I'm above Houston, I'm already
Astronomically too far away is Austin your landing zone in this hypothetical. Yeah, I live in Houston. I'm already astronomically too far away. Is Austin your landing zone in this hypothetical?
Yeah, I live in Austin.
Yeah, I mean we're talking about jumping in a plane.
I'm just saying the country is so damn big that the next city over doesn't mean anything.
I might as well be in Pensacola.
Don't go there.
Yeah, I've been hearing some negative stuff about that.
Nah, that's fine.
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That's crazy. There's a BAM.
There's a band called the Florida Bama Line, I think, isn't there? That shouldn't be Florida, Florida, Georgia
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There's a bar called the Florida Bama that my dad used
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That must be I'm conflating those two things.
But yeah, what state borders would have the best name combination like like
Florida is pretty cool.
Florida is not bad.
I like Kentucky and Tennessee would be fun because you can call it Kenesee, which is
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That's exciting for me.
It's close to Hennessy as well.
Oh, what about North and South Dakota?
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Oh, I like that.
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Yeah, and that's what these flights are called, because you can jump in either of these places.
Where am I flying?
The Braskins is where this plane is going.
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Do you guys remember way back in episode, I believe, 59,
when I read an email that I got to saw right from an Amazon employee
who was telling us about, yes, our podcast is affecting the metrics.
Yeah, I believe it was episode 60.
But yeah, go ahead.
I just just so we don't get comments on it.
I believe I thought it was absolutely because people have been talking about it
to me already.
Yeah, I've had people mention it like this email I just received.
Whoa, there's been a second email, which is why I thought it was episode 59
because somebody must have heard it to send the second.
Yeah, I guess it was in 59 then I have it marked as 60.
All right. Hi, Jeff.
My name is Taylor and I work for Amazon and can attest to the podcast
messing with our inventory.
I thought it was crazy because it would be the same items talked about on the podcast.
Glad to know there are other Amazonians out there.
Current hot dog count, 82.
So, hey, Amazonians. Fucking boss fucking boss first of all 82 hot dogs Jesus Christ. That's crazy
That's it. That's a lot 30 hot dogs more than I have like is he all right? I
Need to know when they start
Yeah, right. I assume I assume what everybody says. I'm not they started on August 1st when we did but who knows how much would you pay for?
To find out your total count lifetime
Zero you wouldn't want to pay 20 bucks to learn that you'd had X amount of hot dogs. No, I don't care
I'd pay two hundred dollars for that information. I'd be more interested in paying for your information in that regard
Well, that's confidential
Shit, that's a bad violation. It's a hip a violation. Yeah, unfortunately
Between you and your doctor how many hot dogs you've eaten
I like cuz I feel like you've probably had less than 50. I bet you you've had less than the yearly average lifetime. Oh
than 50. I bet you've had less than the yearly average lifetime.
Oh, wow. Oh, under 70 for sure.
I don't like that. You might be right. I'm definitely right.
I think he's probably right. I think so.
I would say that this is the most hot dogs you've ever had in a year, probably.
And you're at like five or six.
Yeah. Well, there was that year of DHD.
Had a few. Yeah. Well, there was that year of D.H.D. Had a few. Yeah.
I feel like each day, I would just assume that you were in the hot dog atmosphere,
but weren't engaging in the doggery.
Like, I think there is a lot of dog happening around you,
but I don't think you were actually taking part.
I would assume knowing.
Yeah, you don't have that dog in you.
You just have it adjacent to you. Yeah. Your Yeah, you don't have that dog in you.
You just have it adjacent to you.
Yeah, your dog.
Yeah.
I have that dog near me.
You've got that dog near you.
What?
Why is hot dog such a popular food in the US
that nobody sells?
What's with that?
Nobody sells?
It feels like it's a special occasion food
cause you get it at like barbecues
or you have to like go out of your way
For it like hamburger everywhere hot dog few hot dog. It's true
There's there's no hot dog fast food restaurants in Austin that you just drive through. There's not a hot dog drive-thru in Austin
No, there's like you go to like Sonic Burger and that's it
You know what I mean?
The best you can hope for is that a hot dog is attached to a hamburger at a burger restaurant.
Like Five Guys has a hot dog.
Has a hot dog, but I think it's not on the menu anymore.
Canada.
There's a Canadian chain called New York Fries
that's the only fast food hot dog I can think of.
Yeah, that's like Sonic Burger does the hot dog.
I don't know who else.
Wiener Schnitzel? Wiener Schnitzel, I guess. There's one. I know who else. Wiener Schnitzel?
Wiener Schnitzel, I guess.
There's one.
I think there's one Wiener Schnitzel in Austin.
Huh.
Is it?
But like, it is odd.
In Austin, it's bar food.
Like most bars have a good hot dog.
Like that place that Eric and I went to
and had hot dogs not that long ago,
Frazier's long and low.
Yeah.
If you have like a lot of time to watch
a waitress flirt with a guy at the other end
of the longest bar you've ever sat at, then.
Jesus Christ, man.
There's fucking eight people in this whole bar.
I just want to order my fucking hot dog, lady.
God, I think it has to be because you don't prep hot dogs in the same way.
Right. I guess Costco, another like if you want to call it fast food
cafeteria, it's another dog.
But it's not it's like it needs it's a unique cooking system
as opposed to a burger.
Although I wonder if you could do smash dogs.
Wonder what that would be like.
That's probably gross.
It's probably terrible.
No, I think you I think we're about to invent smash dogs, Andrew.
Smash burgers are so popular right now.
They are going to smash dog. It would just look like now. They are going to smash dog.
It would just look like, oh, we're going to smash dog.
Write this down.
We're going to become smash dog millionaires because we're
going to invent something new.
Oh, my God.
Smash dogs.
Smash dog might be a secret Mayo for me, or if you didn't
tell me it was the smash dog and I just ate it not knowing
what had occurred, I could see myself really liking it but going into it knowing
hmm a
Smash dog a thing where you cut it in half and then smash it down or you just smashing the dog down
You know what? I think cutting it in half is probably the way to go
But I was just imagining just smashing it down, but I think you're right. I think it's a cut
I just think you need a mallet. You can do it.
Why would you need a man?
Yeah, I think a mallet seems a little excessive.
I think you just press down really hard if it's on like a griddle.
I mean, you don't want to use a sweet smashing mallet
while it's on the griddle.
A mallet isn't going to smash a hot dog.
It's going to obliterate it.
Gavin is worried about the end result. He just wants to hit me. Yeah, he just wants to talk with a hot dog. It's going to obliterate it. Gavin is worried about the end result.
He just wants to hit me.
Yeah, he just wants to talk with a mallet.
You can go for it just to press with it.
I just think I want a special tool for it.
I don't have a use in a spatula or whatever.
I have a special tool as a mallet.
I feel like Gavin is trying to get into cock and ball torture.
And this is going to get to smash a hot dog with a mallet it's
nothing to do with bull
don't you say mallet do you mean like a metal like a meat hammer are we talking
like a croquet like I'm talking wooden stick scratchy cylinder with metal strips. So you're going full itchy scratchy, you want to fucking loony tune this thing.
I think if the mallet width is wider than the total smash diameter of the dog, it's great.
It'll be real nice and even.
Can I pitch you this if you want, because you're talking about actually wanting like a tool, a special tool for this.
What if it was like a mallet that could heat up at the end of it, so it's like a tool, a special tool for this. What if it was like a mallet that could heat up
at the end of it, so it's like a double grill.
It's like a heat mallet.
It's like a skillet on the circular flat part
that you would smash into it.
You grill it, you cook it from above.
Double grill.
Should we get a little grill,
little griddle top for the office and then make these
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't think that's a don't think I have a black stone at home We could do it at my house
But it feels I would feel really backwards if we filmed at my house after paying for the office
So what does that to me go work there?
I'm trying to think like the the sketchiest way to do you could get I have a mini
It's essentially a mini waffle maker, but it is just like a mini skillet
You could probably like tape that to a wooden mallet and then
You know what you know what already exists that does everything we want to do what's that an iron? Oh?
Just heat up an iron and drop it on to smash it on top of the hot dog
And then instead of spraying water out the front
Mustard and ketchup. I don't
Here's the thing though
I like your mustard and ketchup
But you know like the way to melt cheese is you throw a little water down and then you like put a container over the thing
Maybe you still need the water and it's just for like that.
You know, right.
We'll have to do some experiment.
How do you guys think a smash burger is?
You think there's like an iron on a smash burger that's.
No, it's just like I have a I have a burger press.
No, there's like a metal.
There's like a yeah, like a a big fat metal disc with a handle on it
that smashes down on a bread and iron does on a brick. And iron does the same thing.
The iron does the same thing
because it's long and hotdog shaped.
Whereas the griddle smasher is round
and won't work for a hotdog because it's wiener shaped.
So we need to get something wiener shaped.
And the only thing I can think of that's heavy
and does the same job, it already exists, it's an iron.
An iron is a really good thought.
Okay, then I guess an iron it is I have a I have like a spatula cast iron
Like flat top that I can bring to like I just put it like on the stovetop. I can bring let's do this
Oh, yeah, please do. Thank you. And then we iron on the top. I'm pretty into this idea
I would like to see what cutting them in half and then smashing them down would be
versus just smashing them down with an iron
because I think one way would work maybe better than the other.
But let me ask you this.
Are they so smashed that they're going...
Are they going to fit in a hot dog bun?
That's exactly what I was about to say
is I think we need to consider about the bun.
Yeah, I think you would spread what the result
over the top of the open bun
and then just kind of like...
You spread the result over the top of the open bun and then just kind of like, and then chop it in.
You spread the result.
I think it would be like, everybody watch a TikTok
on how to make a smash burger.
I think the process is much the same.
You probably take the bun and heat it up
and then stick it on top of the smash dog,
which is probably covered in cheese and onions at this point.
And then slide a spatula under it,
flip it over and then fold it into itself.
But I'm asking, is it a hot dog bun
or a hamburger bun?
I think it might be a hamburger bun.
Because the smash dog is going to get so wide.
It's got to be a dog bun.
I think it'll get too wide.
It's a fucking hot dog bun.
It's got to be a dog.
I'm asking.
I'm not trying to go for one or the other.
I want to make sure that we're all on the same page here.
Are you trying to make a smash dog
or a pulverized dog burger?
What?
Gavin's right. That would be a pulver eyes dog burger. Yeah, I don't think so
Here's the thing I agree that it feels wrong, but I just don't think it's gonna fit in a hot dog bun
I think it'll get it. It's the same. I don't think so it'll fit, but it's the wrong shape
It's gonna be it's gonna be moldable though. You can shape it however you want to I don't want to be moldable I don't want my smash dog to be moldable though, you can shape it however you want it. I don't want it to be moldable. I don't want my smash dog to be moldable.
I want it to be very crispy and rigid.
It's gonna be crispy and rigid and foldable. It's gonna be fine.
I've got an additional question about it.
What would happen if we shucked the dog?
Shucked? What does that mean?
Take the skin off? Yeah. Oh like hair casing. Oh, um
That's part of it. That is it's textural. I think that's the thing that'll really like like Chris's love
What's gonna crisp up? Yeah, okay? Yeah, so I don't think we get rid of that. I think there'd be a terrible
I think it's a bad fat. Yeah, keep it. I
I just I don't like I agree
I don't like the optics of it in a hamburger bun
But I do think it works better in a hamburger bun. Well, we're just gonna have to we'll try both ways and we'll just have to see
Well, I just I think we'll know pretty quick what it's gonna fit in. I'm feeling pretty good about this
It might need its own bun. It might need a smash dog bun a smell
Interesting interesting. It's like a smash bun. I'm trying to think what that would be.
Well, I hit the bun with a mallet.
That's what makes SmashBuns unique is you personally hit.
It's just a bun factory with you, with a mallet at the end of the conveyor
essentially stamping them.
I'm sometimes worried at how much Tom and Jerry has just infected the
my brain.
Inspiration for some of us.
Yeah. While we're on the subject of food, I have a serial killer update.
Oh, a couple of days ago, I think on Monday went outside,
Emily found a dead bird over by the bird feeder.
And she asked me to, you know, remove it.
And it was missing its eyes.
And something had had something had cracked its brain open and eaten its brain.
Oh, and so the bird was fully intact.
It was just missing two eyeballs.
And then it had like a drill or like a cracked area where something had sucked its brain out
So it's getting it's getting it's getting real dark over here in my front yard
I mean stare the eyes are attached to the brain do you think they just came out it's possible back. It's possible
The eyes are attached to the brain
Is everything attached to the brain?
Not my leaner
Not my leaner
Well the toilet seat is that
Jeff are you glad to be home does it feel good just to be in your space?
Yeah, and I did say I feel bad too because I had such a nice time visiting my mom And I love the farm over there where they are, and I got to hang out with my aunt, and I really did have a good time.
But man, it's amazing how a shitty day of travel
can spoil everything that's happened in your life
up to that moment.
Travel is dread to me.
I am just so fucking relieved to be home,
and especially after I threw such a stink
about how I was never gonna travel again,
and this is the second trip I've taken since my, you know.
Well, yeah, but at least there's no one on the horizon.
Gusting airport airplane puke saga.
Traveling is just like creating a list of things to go wrong.
Yeah.
Like there's no it's the ultimate when it goes right. It's not like it's not exciting.
It's just relief. It's not exciting it's not exciting. It's just relief.
It's not exciting when you land in Austin and see your friends.
Exciting to me.
What?
What? Huh?
Like, is the is the end result not exciting to you?
No, not really.
I guess like I'm happy to be there.
You sound it. It's it's if I go somewhere, Not really. I guess like I'm happy to be there.
You sound it.
It's it's if I go somewhere, if you've been in the airport, have you been there?
To the airport?
Yeah, no, like the state.
If you've traveled, if you've only been in an airport of a place,
is that enough to count visiting that place or do you have to leave the airport?
I mean, if you're really struggling for conversation topics, I'd say you've been there.
What do you mean? Like socially, like if I'm trying to talk to somebody and I was like,
Yeah, I mean, if I feel like if I'm if I'm
if I'm bragging about being in Detroit, I see. But I only went to the airport.
OK, but you wouldn't conventionally consider that.
No, I was trying to figure out if I've been to Minnesota.
I think I might have been.
OK, well, what?
When? OK, paint a picture.
I think the first time I visited Austin,
I think I had a connecting flight in Minnesota, but I don't know if that makes sense.
I don't know. Coming from Vancouver Island, maybe.
Oh, yeah, it could.
It could.
I like I don't.
I definitely was in an airport that I've only ever been in once.
And I just can't remember what airport that was.
Pretty inefficient route.
Basically flying under Canada the whole way and then going down.
I mean, it was an it was nothing about the flight was ideal.
It was just what essentially is able to book.
I came in late. It was terrible.
But I was just thinking about there's an airport port I've been in
that I don't know where it is. I think it's Minnesota.
I think I've been in the Minnesota Minneapolis airport.
Oh, fuck. It could be Minneapolis.
That's also I mean, name another city in Minnesota.
St. Paul, yeah.
It was definitely a I'm thinking I was curious that they've been there.
I'm just thinking I've connected to a lot of airports that I've
I've never visited anything beyond it.
Yeah, I've been to Charlotte so many times.
I don't think I've ever set foot elsewhere in that state.
Just sat in those rocking chairs in the Charlotte airport.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I've been to Ireland if you had a Guinness there. I'd say you've been to Ireland
I had a coffee. I believe I was underage. Oh
right
What you can be the army and underage
You guys keep this going I think something that we won in an auction is being delivered to my house right now
So I got a goal like 10 or 15 minutes. I'll be back finally no worries. Dude. No worries
Hey Gavin. I have a question for you
You asked earlier how much you would pay to find out how many hot dogs you've eaten in your life
How much would you pay to see how many airports you've been to and how many times you've been to each airport and which airports?
You've been to the most in your lifetime. I
Wouldn't pay anything cuz I'm sure it's all in my emails
It's not well you got to think like all the way back to when you were a kid
And you flew into America when I was a kid, though.
But you went to other airports, asshole.
It's not just America.
I'm talking about the fucking world here.
Uh, Tenerife.
Uh, Heathrow, Tenerife.
And I guess it was Luton.
Now, I don't really go much places.
What's sad?
That's kind of nice.
Travel as a child, because I know I've been places, but I don't remember the travel part of it at all.
That's great. It's an ideal way of experiencing that.
I wonder how many times I've been in DFW.
Oh God.
Like surely not as many times as Austin, but close I would think.
I've certainly been to Dallas over a hundred times.
I used to, when I was in the army at Fort Hood, we would fly.
We would connect through Dallas, not Austin.
So I'd probably been to I probably have 20 Dallas trips out of my belt
that never touched Austin even.
But it still can't can't hold a candle to Austin.
I don't know. We have smashed dogs that we're looking at.
Any other food that should be smashed?
That'd be better.
Like, I think the smash burger is an innovation over the base burger.
I think you've got smash burgers, you got smashed avocados and egg.
Yeah, schnitzel.
I was just thinking egg, but I don't know if egg would work.
Like a smashed boiled egg.
Chicken fried steak.
Oh, what else could you smash that's not smash?
It has to be like a meat thing, right?
Because you put me on a grill
Smash potatoes are delicious. I've had some they're pretty good. They're pretty good. They're really good. What about
What how do you think a drop burger would taste a drop burger?
We could just drop it onto the skillet from a high
Yeah, you drop it from like 60 stories up. So it's definitely like a terminal velocity burger
Velocity burger. Hold on. A terminal velocity burger.
Yeah. Terminal. I was thinking city drop burger.
We're definitely going to film that, too. OK. Got it.
What is what is the terminal velocity of an average patty?
Can't be that fast.
No, I would imagine so.
I don't even know how to search that.
Terminal velocity. You're not going to find the answer. I would imagine so. I don't even know how to search that. Terminal velocity.
You're not going to find the answer.
I wouldn't bother.
When you said Drop Burger, I was thinking about in movies
where a character jumps off a building and falls through multiple awnings
to safely land.
If there was like a cooking method of that
or like you could get the exact doneness you wanted
based on how many things it fell through.
Like how many heat zones?
Yeah. Or like, I don't know.
You can't really.
There's no way to like heat those.
And then they break. It would be a terrible product.
Where would you get one of those to replace?
What an annoying thing to have Indiana Jones break seven of those
in the apartment complex that you own or whatever. I don't know where you'd get one of those. Where do you get seven of those in the apartment complex that you own or whatever.
I don't know where you get one of those.
Where do you get one of those eBay eBay?
eBay, you want a secondhand or an insane way to get an awning?
Never know. I don't think I've ever seen an awning in the wild.
My cousin used to work for an awning company that would install awnings
at like restaurants and commercial buildings and stuff. I could ask him, do you think there's a company that would install awnings at like restaurants and commercial
buildings and stuff. I could ask him. Do you think there's a company that sells awnings
and mattresses and it's called awnings and yawning?
Awnings and yawning? Oh man, that's brilliant.
Yeah. If we ever had a, if we ever had, and I've thought about this a few times, a subdivision
of regulation where we just make merch of all the fake companies and ideas that we I
Would love an awnings and yawnings t-shirt for the fake awnings and yawnings company
You know these like uniform owned companies that no one's heard of that don't exist
Exists only in t-shirt form I
I had something happen to me in my car a couple days ago two days ago three days ago
Now that made me think I was losing my fucking mind. Can I share that?
Yeah, of course I got into my car the other day which I know very well because it's been my car
Sorry Gavin's car for a very long time. Thank you
It's not new to me or anything, but I got in my car and I looked down to change the temperature on the
look down to change the temperature on the look down to change the temperature.
And I'm going to show you that's the dashboard where you can see the temperature gauge.
Right. Nice. And I noticed that next to me on mine where it says 69, it's blue.
And then over on the other side, it was orange and said 69.
And it's always been white the entire time I've owned my car.
And so when I sat in and I was driving and I looked down and I go why the fuck is this side blue?
And this side red and then I thought like oh is it like do I have the heat on one side and the cool on the other?
side but it's no because it's the same temperature dialed in and I'm thinking did my car
We'll get there did my car. I'd love to know it if you do know did my car update in some way
and I got some sort of a firmware update and
did my car update in some way, and I got some sort of a firmware update,
but then I thought no, because that's never happened before.
I've had this car for like five years
and it's never had an auto update
through the dashboard firmware or anything
without me taking it into the dealer.
And so I thought, next time I stopped,
I sat in the car and I looked through the settings
and I was like, is this something I accidentally enabled?
I was losing my fucking mind. Well, what is going on here? I'm looking through the settings and it's like, is this something I accidentally enabled? I was losing my fucking mind.
Well, what is going on here? I'm looking at this.
I can't find anything that's changed.
There's no setting to change like the color palette of the temperature
controls. And I was fucking stumped and I couldn't figure out why one side was
orange and one side was blue.
And and I was literally thinking I was going crazy. And I was like,
did somebody is somebody fucking with me?
Because that's not how it works.
And then I figured it out.
Can I guess?
To look like that.
Gavin, would you like to guess?
You were wearing sunglasses.
I was wearing polarizing sunglasses.
I apparently, my wife got me a pair
of polarizing sunglasses for my birthday and I swear to God I have owned polarizing sunglasses before
but never have they changed the colors of stuff I look at and then I realized
everything looks like that with those sunglasses
and I just hadn't noticed it because I wasn't staring at something that was pure white that close before you know what I mean?
Yeah, it was my sunglasses, but for about seven minutes, I thought I was losing my fucking mind.
I had the same exact thing.
I had, it was right when I started wearing Shady Ray sunglasses, which are polarized.
I was setting up two phantoms on a shoot.
It was a shoot with Adam Savage, and I just couldn't get one of the freaking monitors to work.
I was like rummaging around, looking, I was like replacing cables.
I was like checking the battery.
I was like powering it with a different cable and then my sunglasses just slipped down and
it was on the whole time and I'd been I've been troubleshooting a monitor that was on.
I just couldn't see that particular screen.
But the other one, what it didn't do that on.
It was just like one of my my I couldn't see through my sunglasses
We're thought we're loose so stupid. I
Apparently I was just reading the comments the comments on 59
Apparently we're all the dumbest people on earth for our pasta takes and people can't believe how stupid we are wait
What was the how we done with the pasta? I don't think we are. But everybody read the comments.
Everybody's like that was the hardest.
I was the dumbest thing I've ever listened to.
They're all stupid.
I thought I convinced myself for like six months that I was I became colorblind
because a sea of thieves.
You have diggable maps with a red ax on them.
And then one day it just turned to white.
And I thought that's weird. And then it day it just turned to white. And I thought that's weird.
And then it was always like that.
And you can show people
your map in that game.
And I showed someone, I said, what color is that?
Do you see that? And they're like, oh, it's red.
And I just didn't want to know like I was nervous about it.
So I didn't want to say what I was seeing.
So I spent a period of time thinking like, do I just see a certain shade of red as white now?
Did something happen to my eyes?
And then I realized it was a setting
that I had accidentally turned on in accessibility.
It was just, I had set.
Yeah, like a colorblind type thing.
So I just had shifted the color
and I had no idea that I did it.
But I was quietly freaking out for several months
that I could no longer see that certain shade of red as red.
She's all color dumb.
No spaghetti is not a dish and doesn't require tomato sauce.
Spaghetti is just a pasta type.
Isn't that what we said, though?
No, that's what I was asking.
Yeah, I was very confused about it because I thought baked spaghetti is the dish and not just you're baking the noodle.
I still am kind of confused.
And then people were upset that we called spaghetti sauce or marinara red sauce and they're like stop doing that.
That nobody else called it. That's just a dumb American thing.
And I'm like, I wasn't, I'm not, I wasn't using this. I don't think that's the official fucking term or anything.
We're just having a colloquial conversation.
Damn. Is marinara the same as the spaghetti sauce? fucking term or anything. We're just having a colloquial conversation.
Damn.
Is marinara the same as the spaghetti sauce?
Are those different? I always thought they were different.
I thought I view marinara is like the pizza dipping sauce.
Well, there's marinara and tomato sauce.
Okay.
They're different.
Spaghetti sauce isn't a thing.
I think that's what people are saying.
Oh, yeah.
Spaghetti is the multiple spaghetti
Yes, what's weird though is I don't have that sauce and anything outside of spaghetti. Where's that sauce going?
All I'm saying is that when you order spaghetti on a menu in America you get spaghetti and red sauce
Call it whatever the fuck you want to bolognese
Whatever you get spaghetti and a red sauce on it. Sometimes it has meat sometimes it doesn't and that's what we in America call
Spaghetti I feel like red sauce can be called gravy to Kenton
Absolutely people on the East Coast call it gravy. That's how lians call it gravy at least American
I feel like I've heard like East Coast chefs be like I do great gravy all the sopranos called it gravy all the good
fellas dudes called a gravy, but call you a spaghetti sauce because you
Because on your spaghetti, but wouldn't that be like cooling?
cereal sauce coffee
Excuse me. I didn't hear a thing because you yeah where yeah that tried to like
Process the question. What's you okay, Eric? Yeah, it's fine.
I've just been running up and down,
but I got really excited to come back
and hear about cereal sauce for my coffee.
That's pretty good.
What?
What?
What do you call spaghetti sauce?
I'm just saying what Gavin said.
It's tomato sauce.
Tomato sauce?
All nice. I'm looking at pasta sauce, chunky tomato and garlic sauce,
traditional pasta sauce, spaghetti sauce.
It's called a million different, I'm looking at rag,
look at, it's, listen, it's called a million different
things, look at a fucking label.
Yeah, I think ragu is just like meat and sauce, right?
Meat and sauce. Ragu. But like here's some
Organic yeah, all right. I don't want to talk about spaghetti anymore
There's different pasta terminology around the world like I never could spaghetti a noodle before but that's a common American thing
Yeah, I still don't know about a chow mein
The noodle it's a noodle right the chow mein no, it's an egg noodle like we don't need to do this again we did stuff
We uh smash we recently had in
We we recently hung out with Jack
Majorly yes, thank you. I've been having to wait so you guys met with Jack and you said that there is a photo that I need to react to or like, I don't know.
I guess you have it.
I don't think.
Do you have it, Eric?
I don't have it.
Was I guessing what the photo is?
I think Eric is still doing.
Yeah, he's doing his process.
No, could I text Jack and ask him to send it?
Yeah, ask him to send it. Ask him to send it.
So for context, I heard that I'm assuming it was part of your birthday, Jeff,
that that everyone was hanging out.
Jack was there and then Jack showed a photo to someone.
Eric, I believe.
And Eric immediately had you come look at it.
And then it just became a thing that that I don't.
I've been trying to guess, like, what would Jack show Eric
that would then turn into everybody ripping Jack in some sense
or getting under his skin with it?
I can't. I have no idea.
I wouldn't have brought this up if I if I didn't think Eric was back
because he was back and talking to you.
Wait for it. So maybe Should we wait for Eric?
So maybe we should wait for Eric because this is kind of it's this the story kind of started with him and it was his
incredulity that kind of fueled the whole thing
But it was yeah, it was we had a birthday party
Emily threw a birthday party for me at the house and
we were hanging out with Jack and like the truck boys were there, and Trev and Barb, and a bunch of people,
Eric, of course, and Nick said,
"'Fuck off, I'm not coming.'"
Which is cool, so whatever.
You didn't want to trip.
No, you were fine, it's totally fine.
You were very sweet.
But yeah, and it was good to see everybody.
It was really good to hang out with Jack.
And then five minutes into hanging out with Jack,
he looked at me and he goes,
"'I remember this.' "'Ugh. And I had gotten under his skin and he was legit annoyed with me. And
unfortunately I can't stop when that happens. You know what I mean? And so I just, I, I,
I, I just, I couldn't, I couldn't let it go. Huh.
I said, could you send the picture?
He said, sure.
And sent me something that wasn't.
Yeah. So should we just wait for Eric?
Yeah.
He said, be right back.
Okay.
Anybody else got any notes?
I was going to say while we wait for him, uh, the polarized sunglasses reared
their head again in Vegas.
Did they?
They did for Gavin.
Did they?
What did you do? Remember?
So we were in the clubhouse
and because we'd been coming in and out,
we were all wearing our sunglasses except for Eric.
Eric had stopped at a monitor
and was just staring at it.
And he was just staring and staring,
like with his arms crossed,
just kind of like scratching his chin or whatever. And Gavin walked up and goes, you an idiot.
He's like, what are you talking about? And then Gavin took off his sunglasses and
it had been a menu for what the everything was in the area. And Gavin was
like, Oh, I'm the idiot.
Yeah, I thought he was just looking at a monitor that was off. I was like, you alright?
I'm cool.
I got a quick life hack I stumbled onto for you guys.
You have a life hack? Hell yeah.
I do. I have a deal. I do.
Let's say you're the kind of person who has a fairly recent car,
a car built in the last like five or six years,
and you're thinking about upgrading and getting a new car.
I'm referring to my wife.
My wife wants a new SUV with a third row because we're gonna be making lots of trips back and forth from Austin to Michigan,
if, you know, after the summer, hopefully if we buy a house.
You're gonna drive?
Well, we got the dog. Albert can't fly.
Oh, yeah.
And so he's a little too big to fly and I cannot imagine Albert in an airport trying stressful, trying to lick and attack every single
person in the air. It would be a fucking nightmare.
He'd be over. He'd explode.
He would just he would he wouldn't know what he would vibrate until he exploded.
And it would just be an explosion of slobbering piss.
So we've been looking at new cars lately.
We've been looking at new SUVs.
And let me tell you something.
SUVs are fucking expensive in 2025.
And they have gotten and I recognize people like, yeah, no shit.
Dumbass. Everything's expensive in 2025.
I get it. I just haven't bought a car since like 2019, 2020.
And so it's my first experience going, I guess that's not true.
I bought Millie's car, but it was very used and it was a different experience.
So we're looking at new SUVs.
She's looking at maybe Leeson one
and trading her Mercedes in.
And they're fucking expensive.
And honestly, I haven't been impressed with a lot.
I was really excited to look at a Rivian.
We test drove one.
I gotta be honest with you.
The experience of going to the Rivian dealership
in Austin was kind of dog shit and
the people that worked there were kind of like
Unenthused and are trying to sell you an 80 to 110 thousand dollar fucking car and can't be bothered to give a shit
And they had a Nike fitness running event in their fucking showroom on a
Saturday was like a special party. Oh my god, so I couldn't go their fucking showroom on a Saturday. It was like a special party.
And so I couldn't go to the showroom.
They had to make me meet them three blocks down
at a fucking parking lot.
Like I'm buying weed when I'm 19 years old at a great,
you know what I mean?
Like at the back of a Walmart.
And so, and then they like you test drive it
and it's like, whatever, the car was fine.
I wasn't super blown away by it.
And then they, then they had us like, well, if you want to see some information about it, let's walk over to the dealer. And you're like whatever the car was fine. I wasn't super blown away by it And then they then they had us like well if you want to see some information about it
Let's walk over to the dealer and you're like okay
And they walk you three blocks 110 degrees in Austin and then you got to walk through all the fitness people who all look
Impossibly fit and you're like God. I'm a piece of shit. Thanks for reminding me
You know and then like there's nowhere to sit because it's cool. It's not functional their deal
You know their showroom, and so they're like talking to you a little bit.
I was leaning against a thing and then some fitness lady came over and took it away from
me because it was part of their set.
And the whole thing just sucked.
And I'm like, I don't want to fucking review now because of this experience.
And so we've been looking at Chevy, a bunch of different places.
We were in Emily's car the other day and she was just going through her menu and realized
you can change like the color palette of your heads up display
Oh, so we changed hers from like whatever the default was to like sport and it felt like a new car
So here's my life. Here's my life hack for you
If you want to get a new car
But they're too expensive
See if you can change your HUD to a different color like from blue to yellow
Because it'll make you feel like you're driving a brand new fucking car for at least a month.
You'll buy yourself at least another 30 days.
If you can't just pop on some shady sunglasses or just wear polarized sunglasses.
If you don't have that option in your car, that'll give you a really trippy new new heads up display.
Oh, that's my life.
Both. You can have so many cars.
The shades and the ability to change the display
I think there are five default settings that you can choose from in her car
So we bet have like five more months of this car before we get frustrated again
I used to do that in fallout. I would change the pit boy color if there if the game was starting to get samey
Yeah, yeah, what's your favorite pit boy color?
Probably the the blue. That's what I like to yeah, they're like a weird orange
I feel like I was big new Vegas the New Vegas amber is the yeah is my favorite one boys
We got it. That's amazing very excited. We got a thing that we'll talk about at some point so
tall
Yeah, it has it has to be laid down to get in my garage.
Have we talked about this prop?
No.
So this hasn't been discussed publicly.
We recorded that video of the auction and everything that never came out.
No.
Okay.
All right.
When do we want to put that out? Because we have it.
We do.
I feel like we could do more than that.
I feel, the-
Andrew has a vision for it.
Potentially.
Yeah, it was just, it was like the least,
I'm so happy we got it.
It's so exciting.
I can't wait to reveal it and do stuff with it.
But I feel like the actual acquiring part
was like the least eventful thing because nobody else wanted it.
Yeah, it's great. I had to. So the guy, the truckers came and
just brought it to my house. Also, to get this thing to my
house has been a fiasco because Andrew set up all the shipping.
So the guy who called me from LA was like, Hey, what's going on,
Andrew? Where are we shipping this thing? And I was like,
that's me. I'm Andrew. So for the last week, I've been Andrew on like
a dozen different calls.
I just didn't because it feels like it's gonna be one
of those things where they're like, yeah,
but the paperwork says Andrew.
Why even bother?
But it shouldn't, which is weird.
Like everything is listed as you.
But it beats me, beats me.
So he just called me Andrew.
I said, absolutely.
So I've been Andrew a dozen times with three different companies.
The truckers came today and they're like, hey, what's going on, Andrew?
Where are we putting this thing? And I'm like, all right, here in the garage.
And they wheel it in to like, oh, help us move this.
We tilt it. We put it in whatever. It's a big thing.
And they're like, what is this?
And I explained it to him. And one guy just went, for real?
Like, really, really? And I went,, yeah, he's like, I don't.
I didn't know that that's something like that.
They were selling or getting rid of.
And I went, I'm like, I don't.
You're this is it, man.
This is the thing.
And he was like, really?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
We should have set it up and used it.
Charge 50 bucks to use it once. Yeah. But it's it's there. Yep, yeah, we should have set it up and used it
50 bucks to use it once yep, but it's it's there. It's fully intact. It's tall as shit, but it is on a palette So you know there's?
Six inches or whatever huh we'll see it's a lot did we get the other stuff, too
I have not seen or received the other thing yet
This is the only thing that I've received okay, cuz we we did get we got two separate. I we did I'm not really sweating the other thing so much
We can't talk about yeah two things we can talk about one thing
We can talk about is Eric while you were intercepting and dealing with that very important package
We teach you up for the ultimate Jack photo story. Oh
Did you guys not talk about it?
We didn't want to talk about it without you,
because it began with you.
Boys, this is what a way to end this podcast.
This is great.
We were at Jeff's and we're celebrating.
The drinks are flowing and everyone's having such a gay old time
regaling each other with stories.
I'm hanging out with Nick Saldana, Jason Saldana.
Everyone's there. It's incredible.
Truck boys are there.
Everyone's having a great time.
And then I see Jack and he comes over
and he starts talking to me and I'm saying,
yes, nice to see you, very good.
And we talk for a while and then he goes,
well, hey, what kind of bird do you think?
Hey, Jeff knows birds, right?
And I went, yeah.
And he's like, what kind of bird do you think this is?
And he shows me a picture. I don't answer him. I, I, it was like my soul leaped out of my
body trying to get to Jeff as fast as possible to go, Jeff, Jack has a question about what
kind of bird this is.
Needs a bird identified
I've never seen anything like it before strange exotic bird
And that's what he's like it exotic then he shows us a picture
Shall I post it? Yeah, you have it. Yeah, that's the foot. Yeah. Oh my god. Yes
I've been waiting for this picture that he shows us of the strange exotic bird
Check it if you can't see this picture you gotta look on the YouTube or patreon
For the audience. The photo is of
the most bog standard pigeon
you will ever see
in your entire life.
It is like the picture in the Webster's
dictionary of pigeons.
Well, we made fun
of Jack
for like 25 minutes.
He got so frustrated so fast.
But Eric was like every time,
every single person at the party, Eric, I went,
hey, Emily, come here, come here,
take a Jack show too.
Hey, Jeremy and Megan, come over here.
Jack show time.
I went through and Eric was like,
oh Gavin, real quick, what's this?
And Jack just shows it to me and I go, pigeon.
And he was just like, god damn it. What's this and a jacket shows it to me like a pigeon
But it fed us to him
It does have a bit of a weird face
It does and he just went well it has like such a long neck and I went
It can't be a pigeon. It's neck is too long. I think it's just a jerk pigeon. I think he's a pigeon that flew into a window. He just showed us.
It's just a party full of people looking at Jack's phone and going,
that's a pigeon.
As he gets more and more upset and then looks at Jeff and he goes,
I remember this.
I felt so bad.
But you can't just roll up at a party where everybody's having a good time
and then say
you've got a picture of an exotic bird you identified on your phone and then show everybody
a crow.
It was, it was, oh my God, I couldn't stop calling people.
Every time I made half a second of eye contact with someone, I went, you got, you got to
see this bird.
Check out this exotic bird.
I would like to officially thank Jack for sending me the picture and allowing us
to retell the story.
Being the best sport in the world and for fucking putting up with us
for putting up with me for so many years.
I love him so much.
What kind of bird do you think this is?
Imagine somebody walking up to you at a party. What kind of bird do you think this is? Imagine somebody walking up to you at a party.
What kind of bird do you think this is?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Hey, you're a bird guy, right?
I need to get the experts.
Can we just have a shirt with this picture on it?
It's just, it's so crazy how it's just, yeah. Can we just have a shirt with this picture on it?
It's it's just it's so crazy how it's just yeah, his face looks a little weird
But I think it's because of the picture that he took and not the bird
Can we can we make a picture? We put this on a shirt and sell it and it just under it right what bird What bird? Question mark.
Because I wanted to see
just a jacket on the revenue.
Yeah, we'll split the revenue with them. We'll split the revenue.
And it just it immediately
it defaults typical pigeons.
And it's just that it's just.
It's a wonder if I wonder if it flew
into a window, smashed his beak up
and probably can't eat good.
And that's why it's maybe a bit skinnier than a normal pigeon.
I think its beak is fine.
I think that's just like the coloring above it.
It's so funny to avoid all of the other indicators.
Like the typical pigeon has that coloring too.
Yeah, it just looks like it's got like a toenail for a peak.
I can't remember the last time I've laughed that hard.
Dude, you and every single person at that party.
For so long.
I just without skipping a beat said pigeon and then his reaction, I almost fell on the
floor laughing.
I was like, that was it?
That was the bird you didn't know
And just Jack getting more frustrated and annoyed with every person just made it it really sealed it
That's a top five moment for me. Yeah, it was pretty good. We should wrap this one up a boy that was oh man
It's so much excitement on that one. I loved it. God. I loved it
Oh that would that would make a great thumbnail for this episode,
but I feel like it kind of gives away what would...
Yeah, yeah, we can.
Yeah, I'll do something.
We do need a thumbnail for the episode though.
What do we...
What if it's this picture, but with the pigeon cut out,
it's just white weather bird?
Okay.
Okay.
Who's that Pokemon?
Yeah.
I saw a fucking YouTube comment on episode 59 that was like I'm not watching this because of how dog shit this thumbnail is
That picture of Shin Lim with all the cars like like a lunatic
Somebody's like no not watching not listening. Yeah, really? Yeah, okay. Thank you
Shin Lim as the thumbnail was so funny. Just terrible
I love how the internet the world went from never judge a book by its cover to the internet becoming only judge a book by its cover
Yep
That's it. That's great. Yep. All right, we should wrap this one. All right
Well, thank you very much for listening to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. We got a bit spaghetti into it.
I apologize for that.
Didn't mean to.
Probably won't hit the spaghetti up next week, but you do want to tune in for episode 62
of the Regulation Podcast next week because we want to talk with you about a product that
we may or may not be making.
We want to get some, we want to get your feedback on it.
So we'll probably talk about that kind of early in the podcast and I'm sure we'll have
a bunch of other dumb stories and and
Stupid things to regale you with. Thank you for listening
Regulation out. Bye. Bye