F**kface - Geoff's New Nemesis // Are You Gurning? [78]
Episode Date: November 5, 2025Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Detroit trip, airport construction, F1. Clear, 6 7, TSA line, Armani suit guy, hockey, the laziest wave, fowling, Ford Museum, waitress, the worst lunch, home of the... future, house cost, cider mill donuts, Belle Isle, sponsoring fish, puffer fish, gurning, vandalism, sport rules, hockey puck injury, overtime, the vibes hole, fall, sports percents, Andrew the radio guy, license for the ham zone, double sports, Shaq, Percy Pigs, The Inbetweeners, Bird Not Bird draft, Cameo, Andrew's Life Hack, Timbits, Bagel Bites, and lemonade. Sponsored by Factor. Thanks Factor! Go to FACTORMEALS.com/REGULATION50OFF and use code REGULATION50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.
This is episode 78.
My name is Jeff Ramsey.
With me as always, Eric Padour, Nick Schwartz, Andrew Pant, and Gavin Free, zero anxiety between the last recording and this one.
Oh, that's great.
You didn't stare at the ceiling while you were taking a piss.
Yeah, for audience, there's about four minutes between recordings, so I didn't allow myself much time.
I think the last one, recording 77 kind of put me at ease and I feel like normal again.
It's nice.
That's great. Let's go back to the source of this anxiety. What happened in Detroit?
Oh, my God. Can I tell you? Actually, Detroit was a lovely weekend.
Are you eating? What are you eating? What are you talking about anxiety? And I realized I needed to take my medication.
Oh, is it chewables? No, it's a swallowable.
Oh, okay. It's not like you were to eat ice cream. Yeah, I had a pill between my teeth and I realized that. Very obvious.
Can you imagine if ice cream was medicine, if they were like, yeah, I need to have. I need to have the...
Two grams of Rocky Road.
Jeff, just so you know,
we had this,
me and Nick,
like, had this conversation
with Gracie yesterday.
She was like,
I wish bad food was good for you.
And it's like, I don't,
yeah, ice cream's not medicine.
I don't know what to tell you.
Anyway, what happened to Detroit.
All right.
Well, Detroit was a great trip.
But let me tell you how fucking started.
That wasn't great.
I do, I have an enemy.
I have found my new nemesis.
I'll never see this little dickhead
again as long as I have.
As long as I live,
I don't think,
but I have his image burned into my brain
and I will never forget him.
just because of how rude and obnoxious he was.
And just the amount of space that he took up as a human being,
I just wanted to throttle him.
I just wanted to throttle him.
But you can't do it.
You got to be peaceful.
You got to be peaceful people, right?
But, you know, last week, we recorded this podcast.
And then as soon as I hit, we hit stop.
I uploaded the file.
I already had my bags in the car.
And then I drove to the airport to go to Detroit.
We're going to have this nice weekend in Detroit.
me, Emily, Burndog, Vanessa, Gavin, and Meg, and then we were going to meet Emily's family
up there who lives there, and of course, Canton, Sarah. And it was just going to be a big fun weekend,
and I imagine we'll talk about that a lot today. But it started with this trip to the airport.
Emily had already flown out early, so I was going by myself. It was one of those things where I
had, like, two hours to kill, and you don't want to just sit in your living room and stare at your
phone every, or a watch every 10 minutes and go, like, ugh, you know. So I just said, I'm just
going to go get there early got there early thank god i did because the austin airport is the
situation is untenable it is under construction they are i'm going to sound like this is going to sound
like old r t content i don't want to but they're rebuilding the airport they're doubling it in size
they're doing it while not shutting down the airport and also austin's become you know one of the
most popular travel destinations and so it's just insanity it's like Costco
on Black Friday at the airport at all times when you go there. So I get there and I'm like,
thank God I got two hours to kill because I'm going to be in line for a while. I'm going to give you
guys a little life pro tip. If you're a heavy traveler like I am, you probably do stuff like
get TSA precheck, you get clear even, maybe get global entry, all these things that'll make
traveling easier for you if you do it all the time. If you're a person that travels once or twice
a year, probably not worth the money, you know? But if you're doing it every week, like I used to,
you sign up for all this shit because it makes your life a little bit easier.
all that shit away, you don't need it. I went into the airport. I looked over to the left,
the regular check-in with like no TSA pre-check. Line's empty, right? Not empty, but there's like
20 people in line. I go across the other side of the airport, the entire other side of the
airport to where the TSA pre-check and the clear is. And there's a line of clear that is
comically long, and the TSA pre-check line is comically long. And I thought, I'll just get in the
clear line and see how long it takes, because I have all the time in the world. I stood in the
clear line. And I'm not exaggerating when I say I moved four people in the time that I watched
the entire TSA pre-check line, empty and refill. And I thought, this is ridiculous. What they were doing
was they were having people, like you would sign in with your eyeball scan for clear, and then they
would queue them up, and then they let you through one at a time. But because of the government
shutdown and TSA, you know, running on fumes right now because they're not getting paid, and then
all of the construction and then all of the fucking F1 traffic because it was F1
weekend and all the nonsense. It was just like standstill. And so I'm looking at my watch
and I still got plenty of time and I'm getting kind of amused by it. So I mark the lady who was
like the most noticeable. She had like bright clothing on and she was like third person in line
in the clear line. She had already done the eyeball scan and she was just waiting to move through.
And I thought, I bet I can get through before she does. So I get out of the clear line and I go
through the TSA pre-check line, which is very long, I make it all the way through the TSA pre-check
line go into security, crossover security. I look back, she hasn't moved. The people in that
clear line probably stood still for 45 minutes. So my life pro tip is do not use Clear in Austin
right now. It's, I cannot recommend it. Probably don't need to use TSA pre-check. You can probably
just go over to normal. Can I ask a question about Clear? I don't have it. But it looks like people do
their face scan thing and then just go up to the guy anyway. Like what does it say, what does it do for you?
You do the scan, the face scan thing, and then they walk you directly to a person who then
lets you through.
Like, you go through immediately.
You go ahead of TSA pre-check and all that stuff.
But when it's not working, it's not working.
And the reality is, is it was a good bargain for travelers who travel a lot back before
everybody used it.
But now everybody's got clear.
Everybody's got TSA pre-check.
The lines are so long, you know, it's like everybody gets, everybody's a VIP now, right?
So everybody, so the normal line is way shorter.
And so my life pro tip is, at least in Austin, just go through the normal and just fucking deal with taking your shoes off or whatever.
It's not worth it. Okay. So that was just a, that sets the mood for where I am. I've been standing in line now for like 45 minutes watching everybody else get to go, but me. Go through security. I walk through. Here's what you do where you walk through security. You walk into the little room. You turn to the right. You stick your hands up. They scan your dick in your face and everything.
And then you walk through, and the guy gives you a thumbs up.
The courteous thing to do now is to walk all the way to the back, as far back as you can
go, where the trays are collected, because other people are in front of you that are waiting
for their bags.
If you walk right to the mouth of the scanner and stand there and wait for your bag to come
out, you're in everybody's way because there are seven or eight people in front of you, right?
So I walked to the back and, uh, what do you say?
Six, seven, six, seven, yeah, 100%.
and so I
walk to the back
and I'm hanging out there
this fucking turd
of a human being walks through
right behind me in a black
I think it was an Armani suit
he's got he's got
Dolce Gabon his shoes on he's got
an Irmes pocket square
he goes through and then he stands
right at the fucking mouth
the fucking the first second
you could pull your shit
out of the scanner he's right there
there's fucking 15 of us
all crammed into the space
and he just stands there
and the second his stuff goes through
he stops it with his right arm
so it can't push through anymore
and then he very slowly takes and puts
his watch on and puts his wallet
in and grabs his glasses
and takes his Dolce and Gabana luggage
and he's shuffling around
and putting stuff and meanwhile the other stuff
is backed up like he's creating a traffic jam
and all of us are just watching
this fucking dickhead
do this and take all the time in the world
Like none of us exist, right?
And then he does the most egregious,
rudest, fucking shittiest thing a dude can do.
Then he leaves his tray and just walks away.
So I go and I pick up his fucking tray
and I put it back where it goes
and it unclogged the lane
so that then other people can start getting their shit.
I wanted to find that guy
and I wanted to just strangle him
until his dumb little eyes popped out.
He fucking...
Oh! Oh, I hated him so much, guys.
I hated him so fucking much.
I don't...
He doesn't know who I am.
He's never going to know who I am and I'll never see him again and he'll never see me.
But God help him if I do.
God help him if I do.
I'll never not be mad at this man.
I don't think you remembered your place as a side character.
He's clearly the main one.
Get out of his way.
He's the only one that matters.
It was the most main character energy I have ever seen.
And it was just offensively rude.
You didn't say anything?
No, I didn't say anything.
Wow.
Well, you can't really ever say anything anymore.
I say stuff all the time.
At the airport?
I say shit all the time.
I'm like,
listen,
I fucking,
we'll talk about a lady
who I stared daggers
through at a diner
and I made that very clear
that I was uncomfortable with her.
And,
but I did just like,
and this guy was a little guy,
like he wasn't like
he was intimidating or anything.
It was just gross.
And it's one of those things
where it's like unfolding around you
and you're kind of like
not immediately aware of it.
You kind of like,
you turn around and you see what's happening.
And then you're like,
and then you just stand there
and credibly and look at them.
Like,
is this what you're doing?
Really?
I think I may have said like really
you know at some point
but the guy's oblivious he doesn't give a fuck
and then he's on his phone talking about his business deal or whatever
Dickhead
I just think if ever I
because I want to say something all the time
I never do but if I did I'm just going to be there
having an argument in front
of the government basically as a foreigner
people are fucking crazy in 2025 too
you got to be careful that guy
CEO of two cake studios
never believe it
we just talked to him I found him
I found him.
I caught him.
Anyway, that's how my trip started off.
I was pretty fucking annoyed,
and I still hate this guy.
And I just,
I want him to know wherever he is in life
that there is somebody
who wishes ill will on him.
Why, by the way,
did you rush out after our recordings
and missed the Battlefield recording
when there was another flight like two hours later?
I didn't book that flight.
Oh.
Yeah, I just got that one.
Checkmate.
We weren't recording Battlefield
when I booked the flights.
That came later.
Oh, that makes sense.
Yeah, I looked to the calendar.
I was like, oh, I would just get the late flight.
I'm not going to change my flight for a $200 fee or whatever.
This is Delta Airlines.
I don't have status with them so that I can be in a 45-minute battlefield video.
Well, I had fun.
Here's a good-ass video.
You blew it.
It was fun.
Oh, well, what are you going to do?
I was too busy having this experience.
I was sharing a moment with a dickhead in a suit.
Where did he go off to that?
Did you?
I got away from him.
I was mad.
I was, like, fuming.
mad. Like, I had to get away from him. I could a, I could, I could, I could, I still mad. I could, I could
confronted him. I, yeah, it was, you know, sometimes you got to remove yourself from the
situation? Because you realize you're irrationally angry about something that nobody else is
even really noticed, or if they did notice, they're minorly miffed, but you're like,
you're out of control angry about it. And you get, you're to be like, well, I, I recognize
that I am having a disproportionate response to this situation. So I should, I should leave.
The world is loaded with people like that. There's like, mouth.
stand as every machine in the airport, like baggage claim is the same where people just stand
right at the ramp.
That's the worst, dude.
Baggage claim, fucking hell.
And then you get some people, you know, you bought a plane and then if you're behind
someone who had to put their bag like further up from where they were sat and then they
make you like get out of their way as they try and come back against all the trap.
Instead of just ducking into the side and waiting for a gap, they make everyone stop and
shimmy all the way back to their seat.
I feel like traveling is just
a test of patience
Oh yeah, for sure
It's because no one says anything
Let them get away with it
I don't know
You just can't
You can't get into a fight on a plane
Because you'll be banned
It's impossible
You can't say anything
Yeah, especially not around
8 TSA agents
Like the next thing you know
You're on a fucking watch list
I don't I don't agree
With what you guys are leveling
But I understand what you're saying
The next thing you're doing
You're going through
Separate fucking security
In a second room
every time you go to the airport.
I've already been in that world.
I don't want to do that again.
So we're 13 minutes into your Detroit trip,
and we're at the airport.
Oh, yeah.
So I got on a flight and went to Detroit.
It was great.
We had a wonderful time.
I don't know.
What stands out to you, Gavin?
What do you want to talk about?
Let me look at my notes.
There was this fucking lady at this diner who wouldn't leave.
Did you have a good time?
I had a blast.
I had a blast hating this woman.
I'll tell you that.
We went to a hockey game.
Andrew sent me an invite.
to Power Wash game on Xbox.
What's that about?
I was just seeing if I could make multiplayer work.
I was testing it.
In the middle of the podcast?
Yeah.
Didn't impact anything.
I think Andrew was getting tired of being at the airport,
so he just booted up to Power Wars or...
He's off the fly somewhere else.
I was just making sure it worked.
I learned a lot about hockey.
Oh, did you like it?
I like it.
It's the first American sport I've watched that isn't like 28 to 48.
Okay, okay.
North America.
Okay.
I'll accept that.
Continue.
You're not even...
Go back to your Xbox.
We're having a conversation over here.
I'm locked in on American hockey that he's telling me about.
Do you play in GTA 5?
It scores like football, like soccer football.
In that, you know, one is really exciting when it happens.
But where it differs slightly from soccer, in my opinion,
is that everything that happens is sponsored by a different company.
Like, the power play is sponsored when it happens.
And the shovels, when they, like, clean up all the ice, the shovels in the bucket were sponsored by Carhart.
Says the guy who's every football jersey is 99% advertisement and 1% team.
It's mainly focused on the outfit or the stadium.
But I just liked the events that may or may not happen are sponsored.
They got fancy ads now on the boards, too, Gavin, for TV where they swap them out.
It's graphics they display on them.
So it's not just locked in with one company.
It's a variety that they filter through.
So they can localize it.
I guess, yeah.
So it's more, I think, a real estate issue of we can now sell this space to eight people
as opposed to three people.
There was a, there was like some barbecue place or something, was a sponsor, and it sponsored
the sweet moment of the game, which was just a highlight of something that happened about 15
minutes earlier. So my favorite thing with all that I started doing it this year watching the NFL
is they'll be like, and now we bring to you the sky cam by Walmart. In my head, anytime they
bring up something like that, I imagine somebody was on a phone and was like, listen, we're not
going to be able to have a sky cam Walmart unless you give us this money. Please, please allow us to
have this sky cam. We're not that they're advertising on top of it, but that like,
Walmart funded this and it only exists because of that sponsorship.
There would be no sweet moment without this barbecue place.
And when the Walmart money dries up, they put the Skycam back in the Pelly case.
That's not that different from like, there would have been no face off season one without
shady rays, I think.
Why, though?
Because they, Roostee wouldn't give us the money to make it.
Otherwise, we had to get a top line sponsor.
There was also a nice moment where the wave had started and it was going around.
and there was varying amounts of effort from our group
in the wave. The first time it came around
everyone behind us, like all the wives
just stood up and contributed to the wave. And then we got kind of yelled
at for not doing it because we were just talking or something. And then when it
came around the second time, without saying anything, Jeff and I
both remained seated, but put up one hand
to contribute in the laziest way possible. And I just really
enjoyed that we both came the same amount of effort.
Well, you and I were having a good conversation, I think.
I think we were talking about how in England it's known as the Mexican wave,
because during one of the World Cups, it was the Mexico fans that started it.
And it just is forever known as the Mexican wave.
Which sounds super racist to me, but.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I first talked about it on the podcast with Gus.
And he was like, what?
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But yeah, Emily and I tried to give everybody the perfect Detroit fall weekend.
So we did hockey.
We did a cider mill.
We did the original Detroit.
style pizzas for buddies for original location we did folling have you guys ever heard of folling no
what's falling folling is this thing that was invented in detroit that i think probably only exists
there it's like football bowling imagine if you were playing cornhole where you got like a cornhole
thing okay on one side and then the the other cornhole thing on the other side but on it instead
of it being angled it's flat and there's 10 bowling pins on it and instead of a bean bag you throw a football
and then you have to knock tin pens down
and then the other team is throwing it back your way
to knock your 10 pens down
and it is surprisingly difficult to do.
As someone who's never been able to throw a football
and make it do the football thing
where it spins in a cool way,
I found it quite difficult.
But it was so much fun
and there's an element to it too
where they're like part...
actually the room we did it in I think
that is in that photo.
There's like 10 lanes in a row
and there's no netting or anything between them
because one of the rules is if any rogue ball knocks your pins over, you lose your pins.
So you have to play defense while you're playing the game to make sure that nobody else's
footballs knock your shit over, which means you get hit in the face a lot with other people's
footballs.
Yeah, there's a lot of strays.
You've got to keep your eyes open.
But pretty fucking fun.
I'm not sure that Meg had enjoyed it, but I certainly did.
Didn't Burn Doggett hit right in the mouth?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
That's all right.
No, it's funny.
It's funny.
It's funny. Not like cry and hurt.
What else did we do?
We went to the Ford Museum.
I wrote down my notes,
talk about lunch at the Ford Museum.
Yeah, that's the place you've been before
that you talked about the podcast
where they have like the JFK car
and the Lincoln chair,
which I saw and is indeed covered in goo.
Pretty gross.
Presidential gunk.
But inside the Ford Museum,
which is, you know,
It's just like all this fucking museum shit.
Mostly a lot of cars and airplanes and stuff.
A lot of big trains.
A lot of Christmas ornaments.
There's all kinds of nonsense.
But we went to this little diner that's kind of like right in the middle of it.
It's like situated next to an old McDonald's sign that they rescued that says like a hundred million served.
It's like that old.
And then there's an actual kind of cool.
I don't know if you saw this, Gavin, but there's an actual holiday inn that they built.
Like one hotel room that they built that you can like look in.
They like deconstructed the wall.
so you can see what the original holiday in
the motel room looked like. It's kind of cool.
And then, like, on the other side of this is a diner,
like a 1940s style diner that you can go in
and order food at. And we were all pretty hungry,
so we decided to eat there. Pretty limited menu.
I ordered the sloppy Joe because, you know,
it's on the menu. And there wasn't a lot else.
It was like a cucumber sandwich that everybody else got.
Sloppy Joe. What did you get, Gav?
Oh, that's a great question.
I think I got like a chicken salad sandwich or something
Yeah you were the only
You and I got the different things
Everybody else got this cucumber sandwich
And the girl that comes up to order it
First of all she goes and she takes Gavin's order
And she stands by them
And then she goes, I've never seen the diner
From this angle before
I really don't like it
And we're like
What?
What?
But surely you saw it from this angle
When you walked up to it for the first time
Or when you took anybody else's order
But then it was like, it was weird because it lingered for a while.
Like, she was like, yeah, this is really, I don't like this.
This isn't good.
And we're like, okay, cool.
Anyway, I'd like a Diet Coke, please.
And she's like, Diet Coke didn't exist in the 1940s.
And it's like, oh, okay.
I guess I'll let's take a fago.
And then we got our food.
Everybody seemed to enjoy theirs.
It took an incredibly long time.
And then at some point she came over and she said something to the effect of,
yeah sorry your food's taken a long time
the cook was real annoyed with all the sandwiches
so she's just gonna make your stuff last
what is what is going on
what are you talking about
complaining to us about all of the sandwiches we ordered
it was like it was like one of the rare times
it's happened and there were like five things on the menu
yeah and she's like yeah we're closing in a little bit
and so she's gonna make your stuff last
and we're like
uh what okay and we looked back and we could
see the chef looking through, like a porthole, and she looked angry. And I was like,
oh, he looks mad. So I'm not going to fuck with her. And we're like, okay, so we just have
conversations. Eventually the food came. Everybody seemed to love their food. I got the, I got a
sloppy Joe that had been taken out of a fridge. It seems as though they made the sloppy
Joe and then looked at the rest of the order, which was all sandwiches and thought,
we'll take that sweet time. Jeff's was like 45 minutes from the fridge out.
It was, it was chilly. Like it wasn't even room temperature. It was chilly.
I got to thinking, like, maybe they ate cold sandwiches in the 40s.
Like, I'm getting tricked.
I'm trying to rationalize it.
But I don't think that's the case.
I think they just, my sandwich sat for like a half an hour before I finally got my food.
Anyway, so then we eat our food, a couple more weird interactions.
At some point, we realize we got to get the fuck out of here.
We can't find hurt anywhere.
So, Emily goes, why don't you just go up to the counter and see what you can do?
So I walk up to the counter where you pay, and I go, yeah, we'd like to check out.
And she's like, do you have your bill?
and I go, no, but we're that table right there,
the only table with people at this point.
We're the only people in your restaurant.
So, you know, we're the only customers, you know,
so whatever that bill is.
And she's like, well, I got to go,
I got to go find your waitress.
And I'm like, okay.
And then she disappears for a while.
And then some other dude comes over to talk to two other waitresses
to the left, just off, like just off camera a little bit, right?
And he, he's in like, I don't know,
like a suit, like period garb from,
like maybe the 20s or the 30s because
the Ford Museum is next to this place
called Greenfield Village which is like
people dressed like they're in the 1800s and shit
and so he's got this like period garb
and he's having a distressing
conversation with him so I pick up on it and he goes
yeah I don't know man they just said
somebody complained to HR
so they were letting me go I don't know
what I'm gonna do he's like yeah
I'm really bummed I don't even just like
HR said there was nothing they could do
and I guess it was a bad enough complaint
and I'm like what did this what did they complain
about. Holy shit. You know, this guy got fired on the spot. And he's just, like, got a straw hat in his hand and it looks like he's, like, dressed like it's fucking 1936, you know?
He was dressed as someone who would have no idea what HR was. Yeah, yeah, like, HR didn't exist when that suit was in vogue. And he's like, yeah, I don't know. And he was, like, sweaty and, like, really flustered. And I felt bad for him. And the lady he's talking to, uh, she goes, well, I don't, that doesn't make any sense to me at all. We complain about people to HR constantly.
and nobody ever gets in trouble.
Right then, the girl comes back over
and she goes, hey, sorry, let me check you out.
And while she's checking me out, she goes,
yeah, I guess I forgot I had customers
and I was in the back eating lunch
and that didn't go over well.
She goes, she goes, I'm not going to,
this isn't going to go well for me.
And I go, what?
Yeah, yeah, this is going to reflect pretty negatively.
This isn't going to go well for me.
And then she just walked away.
And that was it.
It's like seeing the diner from that angle really threw her day off.
Oh my God.
And then we just left in like confused about all the HR goings on at that diner.
Yeah.
Yeah, it kind of outshone the whole museum.
Did you eat at that diner last time you went there?
Never eaten there before.
You got to go back.
Never would have eaten there before.
We were only, it was only because like everybody was starving and it was either that or go through the park a lot, get in the car, drive 20 minutes to find a place.
You know, so we were like, let's just fucking, there's food of me.
Immediately. Let's just eat this.
Do you think there was more than two grams of sugar in your sloppy Joe?
Yeah. Yeah. I think that there is. You might have gone over that day.
I probably overdid it on that day. Yeah.
Did you pay your your bill with a credit card?
Yeah, no, they accepted. They apparently credit card processing did exist.
Wow, that's an apple. That's weird. In the 1940s, huh?
I didn't think that was the case. Wasn't cash only? Interesting.
But it was. I'll tell you something that pissed me off. Gavin and I toured a house. This isn't even in my notes.
I just remembered it. Gavin and I toured a home of the future, which was like this house that
was built out of airplane parts because they had a bunch of spare parts like right after World
War II. And so like aluminum siding and airplane shit. And so they decided to repurpose it
into like these modular homes of the future. It was like a circular home that was self-contained.
And that the goal was like if they got like a million pre-orders, they'd be able to make them.
And it had like a central column for the air. It was like,
It was like the trash can Mac Pro of houses.
Yeah, yeah, it absolutely was.
And I guess they sold zero, so the project immediately fell apart.
But in the process, they were like, how much do you think a house like this would have cost in 1940?
I'm going to guess, 1945.
1945, it's right about then.
And people are like, I don't know.
And he's like, $6,500.
And everybody's like, ooh.
And then he goes, you know what an average house cost in that time?
And we're like, no.
And he goes, about $3,200.
So it's about twice the cost of an average home.
And then you're like, wow, man, a house cost $3,000.
That's nuts.
And then you go through this like 20 minute tour.
And then at the end, he goes, so this house adjusted for inflation today would cost
$95,000.
And that's where he leaves it.
And then you're thinking, so a house is supposed to cost $50,000 in 2025?
That's what you're saying that, like, if it followed inflation, an actual home, a thousand square foot,
home, which is what he told us, she cost $50,000 fucking dollars? And that pissed me off.
Yeah. Because, I mean, it's like, especially around Austin, at a zero one, and then you're
talking about like a livable place. Yeah. You can't buy a tear down in Austin in the city limits
for less than $500,000. It's fucking insane. It's because a lot of the land is like, a loan is like
$400,000 for a plot, a house can fill on. That was a, that was a stark reminder of, you know,
how good things are going for us under
capitalism in 2025.
You think if you
lived in a house built out of
airplane parts,
would you need to prove your qualified to open the front door?
Would it just be like an emergency door?
Front door certified?
You have to be 16 years older.
Man, I would not have wanted to live in this house.
Let me tell you, it did not look.
I would have liked to live in it for about a week.
Without the air conditioning?
Yeah.
And all of the shelves were like on a rotating rack
inside the wall. It was rainwater cooled, which is a cool idea, except the rainwater just filters
openly into your bedroom. And then it's just like, what do you mean? What is that mean? Like a gutter
that goes around the inside of the house that contains rainwater. What? And also the windows
don't open, so you have to open the side of the house if you want ventilation. I don't,
and you want to live in this for a week? I mean, I think it'd be fun for a week. Yeah, I mean,
I've done camping. It's better than a tent. That's fair. So it's homes that were made out of
parts that were like access right not like they stripped the plane and turned the planes into houses
yeah no it was more like we have all this excess stuff how do we repurpose it and somebody had the
brilliant idea it was like we have a million domes worth of aluminium and plexiglass and my head it was
like they made a bed out of a bunch of airplane seats like they just got a bunch of seats and
stretched it out like the fucking like the cool furniture Bernie bought for roose teeth back in like
2008.
Exactly like that.
Our chairs were made out of airplanes.
I've got that now for some
reason. I don't know what I'm doing with that.
Do you really?
Yeah, I'm keeping it for him, but
I haven't mentioned it for ages.
Heavy-ass fucking ugly chair.
Gavin, what did you think of a cider mill?
You had your first cider mill experience.
To be honest, I kind of
forgot where we were until after we left.
I was like, oh, yeah, that was the cider mill.
I didn't order any cider or anything.
You had a donut though, right? You tried to run
the hot donuts?
Yeah.
ordered one donut
because they were
I should have known
when you could buy them
by the dozen
that they're probably
going to be small
but I ordered one
and it was maybe
the size of
if you make a circle
with your finger and thumb
yeah they're small
you get like a dozen
you fucking go to town
they're like fair donuts
how
yeah but I don't want to get back
in the line
was it like 95 cents
like what did you pay
for one tiny tiny donut
it was like 295 or something
this man was still thinking
he was in 1940
Yeah, in 1994, that would have been four cents.
I usually get like the hot cinnamon apple donuts and then you get like hot cider, but Vanessa got this apple slushy that they had, this like cider slushy.
That was one of the best things I've ever put in my mouth.
I can't believe how good that tasted.
You ever have a chance to have a cider slushy go.
Interesting.
Fucking go for it.
Drop everything.
Y'all do any scrumping?
Fuck, no, man, there's too many eyes at a place like that.
You can't get away with scrimpy.
discovered something really cool
went to this place called Bell Isle on Sunday
which is the island just off Detroit
it's like in between Detroit and Canada
and it was like essentially the city park
for a hundred years it's like where there was a zoo
there's a conservatory there's an aquarium
then it fell into disrepair and the city's kind of rebuilding it now
so we went to Bell Isle and we went into this aquarium
and discovered something, a couple of things really cool.
One, that you can sponsor fish in the aquarium.
You can sponsor an actual aquarium within the aquarium.
Look at that plaque.
Yeah, like look at that plaque.
Oh, that's cool.
Connecting whalers.
Available to sponsor up at the top.
And so we're like, how much does it cost to sponsor an aquarium and some fish at this cute
old aquarium and it's affordable. It's like 2,500 bucks. So Gavin and I were thinking, maybe regulation
should sponsor some fish. Maybe this could be like a little bit of goodwill. We spend some money
for charity, for a good, for a good thing. And then in the process of getting excited about that
and learning about the aquarium, we discovered not only is this aquarium responsible, it is the
oldest aquarium in America. Oh, wow. Oh, I like that. We could sponsor as regulation
a couple of, like, pike or whatever, gar, it's all gar in there.
We could sponsor a couple of gar.
They love gar.
We could sponsor a couple of gar for like $2,500, which seems like a good place to spend money for a good cause, you know?
Regulation gar.
Instead of a bench, why don't we sponsor some fish?
No, I'm very into that.
Is this what a gar is?
Yeah, they're like long crocodile fish-looking things.
What does it?
Yeah, they're pretty small in the, in the aquarium.
I'm very into this idea.
I think it's really cool.
Can we pick different fish
or are we probably going to get stuck with a gar?
You can pick different aquariums
that there's multiple that are available.
It's not all gar.
There are different kinds of fish.
They get more expensive.
I don't know.
I was figuring we would sponsor
whatever was $2,500.
Absolutely.
It's like, I think the range
was like $2,500 to $10,000.
Okay.
So $2,500 fish seems appropriate.
But I just feel like that'd be like a,
I don't know,
it's like a goodwill thing.
thing to do. They have a puffer fish
that has a little grin.
Yeah, like definitely, Emily and a puffer
fish had this whole
fucking thing going on
where it was just obsessed with Emily and it kept like
bumping into the fucking
glass trying to get to her.
And it does this like weird
like gurning thing with its mouth.
I don't know what the word
gurning is. Yeah, I don't either.
You didn't have a, you didn't have like
gurning contests? I don't know what that means.
What are you saying? Is this another pen that you
ordered off of a phone?
No,
Gurning.
You keep saying it.
Eric, can you post a picture of a
gurning contest? I don't know
I don't know how to spell it.
Is it with a you?
Might be.
Okay, so you don't know how to spell it.
I don't write it a lot.
Is it earning?
Wait, is it making
like a, is it like doing this?
Yeah, he's girding.
In my experience, you shoved
to head through something and you try and gurn the hardest and then you win based on the power
of your gun what are you what is this what your whole country does is this like a nation full of
people doing this what is this Gavin I don't understand what any of this is you keep repeating
it as if it's a thing we have heard or thought of ever or see people do we're almost 300 episodes
into these podcasts
and now you tell us about
gurning
so first I brought you
scrumping and now you've got girding
I think the problem with all these
gurning photos that we're seeing
is
GERding and the queen
gurning in front of the queen
and she looks
confused
I gotta say man
I'm with the fucking queen
here
I can't believe that.
So America doesn't have gurning.
No.
No.
You've lived here for so long.
Has anyone ever brought it up?
Have you ever seen a gurn in the wild?
You don't often notice what you're not noticing.
I've not here 13 years in thinking,
you know what?
I've not seen anyone gurning this whole time.
But you notice a gurn.
I mean, if someone gurned right in front of me.
I just don't.
I feel like I need to see these people not gurning to fully understand what I'm looking at.
Yeah, what do they look like as humans?
Maybe we should have a regulation girding contest on the Patreon.
And we'll vote for the best...
Yeah, I think we...
I don't know what a gurn is still!
Look at what they do with their face!
But I...
I don't know how to measure it!
Wikipedia, a gurn or chuck
is a distorted facial expression and a verb to describe the action.
A typical gun involves projecting the lower jaw as far forward and up as possible
and covering the upper lip with the lower lip.
When this is a thing when you're when you were a kid and your parents would be like
your face is going to get stuck that way.
This is what they meant.
And like it just happened in England.
In England, it happens to you.
In England they don't say that.
They just say, oh, great gun.
Stick your head through this thing and do it again.
In England, they go, keep it up.
You'll be going somewhere.
One day you'll meet the queen.
I think I used to try and gurn through the banisters as a kid
because I didn't have whatever that hoop bedpan looking thing is.
Yeah, what's the hoop thing?
I like in the competition the hoop is sponsored.
That's a GERN power play.
Sponsored by Geico.
The hoop thing looks like the thing they put over horses.
Yeah.
Are you trying to be horses?
Are you trying to make like a horse face?
I don't know.
It's probably like centuries old.
I don't know what you want from me.
I've described it.
I want to see your best gurts.
That's what I want.
I'll work on it.
Maybe we should all get a go.
But yeah, the puff of fish
had a bit of a gurn on
when it was swimming around.
It did indeed.
I also saw a lot of benches
on Bell Isle
that were not sponsored in any way
and I just kept thinking,
man, if I had a plaque right now
it could be real easy.
Real easy.
A little self-adhesive.
So maybe we should do some
gorilla placking on our own.
Gorilla placking.
I think that's called vandalism.
No!
No, no, it's beautification.
Could we put up a gurning hole in Austin somewhere?
I don't, the word you just keep saying is like, it's gross to hear,
and gurning hole makes me uncomfortable.
I don't like any of this.
Imagine it like a parking meter in size,
but instead of the meter part is a gurn hole,
and we'll just film it and see if anyone gurns through it,
if we put like gurning hole on it.
You're just going to get a lot of guys sticking their dick in it.
A hundred percent.
I think it's too high if it.
Make it too high for dick.
Make it too high for dick.
I'd love to just sit and film a gunhole in Austin.
All right.
So we put gurnhole in the bit barrel?
There's ever been a thing that deserves to be in a bit barrel?
It's gurnhole.
Yeah, if there's a way we can glue it to the bottom of the bit barrel
so we never do it, absolutely.
And I just putting that in and get a gurnhole come out the bit barrel
and just look at Eric's face after.
As he rolls his eyes, vile.
Take it back to hockey for a minute.
We're talking about athletics.
I assume you have no idea what the rules are, Gavin, to hockey when you went into it.
Did you feel you learnt them while watching?
What was that process like?
I learned a lot about the sort of rotation of players and how they operate on like cheetah rules.
Cheetah rules?
Yeah, like a cheetah will sprint, but only for a very short duration.
But it puts in like a hundred percent effort on a sprint.
And then it gets tired and it goes in a...
sits back on the bench.
Yeah, about every 60 seconds or so, they switch out.
It's like a game of full beans at all time.
And I've also learned that when a goalie comes on to do their stretches,
it looks very funny.
Yes, it does.
It does look very, very funny.
There was some very suggestive poses going on.
Because of this Gern thing, when you said it's a sport that goes full beans,
I thought for a moment that there is a sport in the UK called full beans.
I think that's the cheese rolling contest
Oh, it could be
I'm glad that you enjoyed it
I was also very surprised
that in a game that's so violent
Well actually no one had a fight in this game
Oh, there are no fights
But I did, you know, I did know about the fight in
But I was very surprised that there's no away area
For the other team, for the visiting team
There's just people all over the stands
Which blew my mind for such a violent sport
Because in football, for example
If Arsenal play Tottenham
and there's an Arsenal fan in the Tottenham stands,
they might die.
They might get killed
if they celebrated an Arsenal goal.
Yeah, that's not sports fandom.
Yeah, they do that in Philadelphia as well.
Specifically with Tottenham and Arsenal.
Oh, if there's an Arsenal fan at a Phillies game,
oh boy, watch out.
Just anybody at a Phillies game.
I think my favorite aspect of hockey,
like going to it live,
and maybe like obviously outside of the game itself,
is going into that cold arena,
like it just feels like you're there to watch an event.
It's the only sport that I've seen
were just observing it live.
You physically feel different watching it.
Completely agree with you.
Yeah, the vibe was incredible.
And also, there's not a non-zero chance
of getting hit with the puck.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, I know.
Was this your first hockey game that you went to?
Yeah.
Did you fixate at all on the possibility?
Like, was it a thing you were thinking of like, oh boy, I really got to be in watch.
Yeah, I mean, I certainly didn't ever look away from the puck.
I remember my first game.
I hadn't considered it until I was in my seat and they had a thing pop up on like the scoreboard
of being like, watch out for pucks.
They'll, you know, they fly out.
And I just became fixated on that.
I was convinced I was going to get hit by a puck and I was terrified.
It was like, I got to really lock in on these bucks.
I mean, it's pretty scary because there's a net that goes, you know, behind the goal people.
but then the net ends
and we were like
just outside of the netted area
so I thought if someone gets a ding
and it clips off someone it could definitely come our way
that was a big topic of conversation
at dinner later
in the weekend at buddies
which is would you rather get hit by a major league
fastball or a hockey puck
and everybody who knows anything about sports
says we'll take the baseball please
and all of our wives said hockey puck
for some reason and we had to look it up
and it was like orders of
magnitude worse to get hit by a hockey puck
than a basketball. Like
by a factor of like
100x or something, it was insane.
There was a player recently that took
a puck to the face. Maybe
it wasn't recent. I saw it recently.
Tom Wilson
took one. Let me find
the image of it. And his face
I mean, Jeff showed me a picture
of someone who got hit in the face with a puck and it looked
like Frankenstein's monster.
It looked like... Oh, God.
Yeah. It looks like he's
Fill this cheek with tobacco.
It's like he's playing chubby bunny.
What do you do in the situation?
Do they like drain it or do you just like have to like let the swelling go down?
Like I don't know like face stuff like that is like crazy.
What everybody else does who's not a Capitals fan is go fuck yeah.
Fuck Tomliss.
That guy sucks.
Everyone else is pumped about it.
There is such a funny, uh, HBO used to do this series called The Road to the Winter Classic.
That was like 30 for 30 but for hockey.
in the first season, the penguins are on it.
And there's a player that took a puck to the face.
And his face was like that, but he also had a giant black eye.
And nobody had seen him, I think, like the, nobody really focused in on the damage it had done.
And he's like, hey, guys.
And they turn around.
And it's like the most Looney Tunes ass injury you've ever seen where his face is like a balloon.
And he's got a giant black eye.
And they're like, oh, fuck, man.
And he's just like, look bad?
not look good
it's great
I mean it's
terrified
I was so scared
to get a hit
by a puck
it's crazy to me
that blocking shots
is just part of that game
no thanks
I wonder
who sponsors
a crowd member
getting hit by a puck
oh man
that would suck
because happy Gilmore's
dad died
because of a hockey puck
could imagine
if he died
because of like
the slim gym puck
of the game
sponsored by
Aldi
the Advil
it was
I do think that hockey is rapidly becoming my favorite live sport to watch.
Definitely more than football and basketball.
And, you know, basketball is my one true love.
Sure. Hockey's way better live than basketball.
The only thing that can really compare is baseball.
It's just a totally different experience.
But, man, there is just something about, like, you sit down in that seat and you are transformed.
And the game of hockey makes so much more sense when you can watch the entire arena at one time.
and you can see line changes in their totality
and it's just like, it really clicks in that way.
And then also, I will say we also were very fortunate
that we were sitting right above the goal.
And so in overtime, we got to watch the Red Wing score
the winning goal.
It was like right on us.
And that was like perfect placement.
It was such a cool experience to get to be a part of
and watch a team win in overtime.
We were just above the goal bit,
but we were just below the Beanie toss area.
Did a beanie toss.
At one point it just started raining beanies.
Yeah, one of the beanies landing on Vanessa.
That's awesome.
So it ended in overtime before the shootout?
Yeah, it ended in overtime before the shootout, in the three-on-three.
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And then, I don't know, Gav, what other insights did you have from Detroit?
What do you think about Detroit?
Am I missing anything?
At one point, he was laughing to himself and he wrote down a note.
And I asked what he was doing and he said he was writing down a note.
And I looked and you had a shitload of notes on your phone.
Well, that's just my main note.
I just add, I never delete anything.
What did I add, though?
Two buttholes.
We talked about, no.
Do we talk about two bottles?
Not on here.
Oh, yeah.
The inside and the outside butthole.
Maybe I was just writing down all the sponsored stuff.
Yeah, apparently, Meg was telling us,
there's a second butthole up your butt hole.
An involuntary butthole that exists, like the other side of a sausage.
It's a similar sphincter that you have no control over,
but it will like push open and push poo down
and that's when you need to poo.
And then if you don't use your self-controlled butthole
to do a poo, your second butthole will like pull back
what it released and close up again
so you don't need a poo.
Yeah.
Interesting.
A double butthole.
It's like a vibes butthole.
It just kind of operates based on how you're feeling.
And that must be the butthole that when I'm thinking,
like when I need a poo and I'm getting closer to a toilet
and then I really start needing a poo.
It must be my second butthole,
just really putting everything against the inner doors.
Sure, as it does.
The vibes hole, as they call it.
I gotta say, it was fucking awesome
to spend a weekend in fall
with leaves changing and weather.
Yeah, we flew to a different season.
We wore a jacket and fucking pants.
I wore pants.
I thought, oh my God, I can finally wear pants again.
back in swim trunks got off the plane Monday
90 fucking degrees back in swim trunks immediately
that's a way to live
God damn it was just a bit of a crazy weekend to be flying
because as we were leaving
like all the Formula One was coming in to Austin
but then at the place we were at in Detroit
there was a marathon and also the No Kings protest
and then I immediately flew to Missouri
where in Austin everyone was leaving the F1 thing
and it was just a real shit show of a weekend
to be flying also in the
middle of a government shut down.
Yeah, and then the AWS hat thing happened on Monday,
which delayed my flight for like an hour.
Oh, I didn't even think about that.
Everything was grounded at airports for a little while
because they all rely on Amazon web services.
It was just a nightmare all the way around.
Speaking of NHL, I read about a referee
who allowed a goal that actually went behind the post
under the net and gave it as a valid goal.
And apparently they got permanently banned
from being an NHL referee for life.
They don't fuck around in the NHL.
Think about what players do and what they get away with
and they get to keep playing after like a one game ban.
And you get a lot,
you just get your career just ended by one decision.
Hockey roughing is really weird
where they call penalties but they don't call penalties
and then they create penalties if they make mistakes.
Oh, they like OJ it?
Yeah, like let's say like they'll make a penalty call against a team
and then it'll be reviewed in some aspect
and it's like, uh, that wasn't that great of a call.
they will do a makeup call
where they'll just find something to call
but there's also like a layer of the game
where like people are constantly technically cheating
and they don't call it so then it's like
a thing where they'll suddenly call one of those things
to even it up
it just it can be infuriating to watch
so frustrating do you watch every game
I try to watch as many games as I can
so typically I'll miss a few in a season
I get deep into it where I'll listen to like
the post game show I enjoy that
yeah wow
I love listening to post
games for teams I don't care about you, especially in the U.S. where it's just like, oh, we got
Big Bill calling in to talk about the Cowboys offensive line this week. What's your takes, Bill?
It's just a guy rambling for five minutes. So what percentage of your waking life is consuming
sports, do you think? Oh, that's interesting. I guess it depends on the time of year.
I would say I probably spend at least an hour a day. I'd say I probably spend an hour a day absorbing
sports content in some form.
Yeah.
I become a really big radio guy
this year. I've been listening to the radio a lot.
What? Do you listen to like local sports
radio? Like FM radio?
Uh, local sports, sports all over.
I got this app that lets me listen to radio
stations anywhere in the world. So sometimes I'll just
pick a random country and I'll just listen to
like whatever's going on over there.
Love that. I feel like you maybe
you should get into ham. I could be a ham guy
for sure. Maybe you should get in the
ham zone. Ham radio.
You could get into a ham's, a different kind of
Hamzone. Because you like talking to strangers. You can whip up a conversation with anyone about
anything. Here's the thing. I don't though. I really don't. You're great at it. Yeah, but I'm
great at it here. I couldn't do the two cakes call if we weren't recording a podcast. I watched
you do it when you interviewed that guy in 50 Cent Blood in the Sand that night. And that was
but that was in my head like I'm doing a bit for it. It's weird. It's like there needs to be a reason
for it. What if you were streaming your your ham zone?
streaming the ham zone
we could basically watch you
become good and learn the terminology of ham
writing it down ham zone
is it like CB radio
the ham zone yes
okay well then I'm kind of into that
I have to get a license though
I have to get a license
maybe not in the ham zone
you might need an antenna
we'll figure it out
I can find that
we'll pull it from the bed barrel
and then we'll find out I've been listening to
I threw on
because it's like sometimes they'll just check in
areas that relate to us
or the show
and so seeing what I could pull up
on the Florida Keys
it's trying to get some
maybe sloppy Joe type radio
going and they have a Keys talk
and it is just
conspiracy ghost
shit all the time
it's whenever I listen to it
it's typically like 11
at night and I'm trying to fall
sleep and like I'll throw this on for an hour
and it'll be
I talk to an angel or an alien
and let me tell you about it
Or this is what really happened to Bobby Kennedy.
It's just shit like that.
That's awesome.
Imagine if you did this all the time
and then maybe once a month
you could fill us in on all the ham news
from around the world.
Like what people have been talking about.
Oh, another say,
Hamming it up with Andrew.
Oh, shit.
Hold on.
Let me write that down on a ham zone.
Hamming it up.
Fucking hamming.
This is going into bit barrel for sure.
How much does it cost to get into ham?
What's the initial investment on that?
I don't know.
It feels like a hobby that every person I talk to is going to be double my age.
Oh, absolutely.
I feel like you're going to be getting into it with, I mean, it's like a few hundred bucks it looks like to kind of get some of this stuff going.
Maybe there's cheaper, more expensive.
But like, this is like an old dude hobby.
This is definitely like an old dude hobby.
Oh, absolutely.
It seems to be mostly based, the conversation is mostly based on like where someone is and how clearly you could hear them.
You have to take a test, an FCC exam for.
Fuck that.
$35.
Pirate ham radio is what I'm going to get into.
But you can cheat and use the internet, so it doesn't matter.
But also, does he have to?
Because he's in Canada.
Is there a different Canadian thing?
I can't imagine that the FCC has its claws in Vancouver.
Could be pork radio.
Slightly different.
Umberico radio.
I was watching sports last night.
Speaking of sports, I was watching double sports last night where I had on
one TV, because Burn Dog and Vanessa River, on one TV, I had the Red Wings game going on T&T,
and then while I was waiting for the Celtics game to start, I had the Knicks Cavs game over on ESPN
because ESPN got the NBA license now, right?
And so, or not NBA, ESPN, I'm sorry, NBC.
So NBC got the basketball license back.
And had the weirdest fucking moment where I was watching Shaq and Charles and those guys talking
about the basketball game
over on NBC
in the NBC studios
and then I walked outside
after a few minutes
to go check on Bernie
and see how the soccer
or the hockey game was going
and it was between a period
over there
and then Shaq was on set
at the hockey game
on T&T
and that broke my mind
that he was on T&T
and NBC at the same time
on the same night
and I guess it's because
T&T used to do
both broadcasts
and when they moved to NBC
they kept the same studio
so they're still physically filming in the same location
but it just seems like such a
weird conflict of interests for Shaq and Chuck
to be able to go from T&T to NBC
back and forth on the same night
during live broadcasts.
I was fucking wild.
That is very funny.
Busy guy.
He is a busy guy.
It's one thing when they're both on T&T
and you're like, oh, I guess that makes sense
but them to be different competing networks
just insane.
Terrible gummies, Shaq Gilles.
Gummies. We're not recommend.
Yeah, they're big. They're not great. They're very big.
They're terrible. They are very big.
What kind of gummies are they? Like, they're just candy or are they like weed gummies?
No, they're like candy gummies and they look like his face or they try to look like his face. I guess is probably the better way to describe it. It's an attempt at face.
Andrew, have you effed with Percy Pigs?
What?
A little chewy thing. Huh?
Percy Pig.
Percy Pig?
What fuck is this?
I heard pussy pigs.
Why do we, what do I know this from?
Have we talked about this on this show before?
Or is it a different show?
Why do I know this as well?
We've talked about this.
Yeah, we've definitely talked about this, right?
There's pig feet or something in the pig thing.
There's pig faces.
You go to M&S and you get a little bag of Percy Pig.
And I don't like anything, I don't like any chewy, gummy candy shit.
But I can eat a Percy Pig for some reason.
So that that's my number one.
I feel like we talked about this in that they're hooves.
They're hooves. They're hooves.
They're hooves, though.
Their faces.
I know, but they're made of hooves.
Are you talking about, like, no, what are you talking about?
I don't know.
We've talked about gungies that we're like...
That's gelatin, isn't it?
It's like made out of, like, gelatin is like animal and, like, hoof and stuff like that.
I think it used to be.
Is it still?
I bet it's still probably like not a vegan product, yeah.
It tastes fruity.
Okay.
Here's not talking about Percy Pigs.
We're getting into the specifics here, man.
I was just trying to think of if there's actual pig and a percy pig.
I probably not.
Can't imagine.
No.
But so you'll eat those, but you won't eat squashes.
Interesting.
I tried a squashy, but.
What if a rat chewed on those?
Yeah, what if a rat chewed on those?
Would Jeff eat more after he saw that a rat had some?
I mean, like Andrew was saying, it felt weird to eat the bubble gum one,
but the rat teeth marks made it extra bad.
Not to Jeff.
Yeah, they taste.
Why do we get a single out, Jeff?
Nick ate as many as I did post-Rat.
You know what?
You're right.
I guess I'm just used to it with Nick.
I apologize.
And by the way, I refute that that there is a rat out there with a perfect bite like that.
I agree with that.
Speaking of British things, I just wanted to say the bird not bird draft came out at this point.
And I'm happy about it because I'm now even with James Buckley.
Even with it.
How do you mean even?
Well, because I always felt, I felt a little bit bad
because I didn't pay to watch the in-betweeners.
It was a thing.
Okay.
When I was at school, his show.
Okay.
I had a friend give me a disc and said,
hey, this is a show that I like,
I think you might like it.
It may not have been captured legally if you catch what I'm saying.
And I always felt bad because then he, like, became kind of like,
in the rooster teeth, like circle thing.
And I was like, I feel like I kind of owe this person some way,
I consumed content that they were heavily involved in without paying for it what I should have.
So that was the main inspiration for me getting the Buckley cameo is we're now even.
You gave him way more money than he would have made from you just watching the show on TV, though.
That's a good point.
If anything, maybe Buckley owes me now.
Yeah, you should call him that favor at some point.
I should.
Did you like the in-between us?
Yeah.
It was great.
Great show.
He records a lot of cameos.
He records a lot of cameos in his best.
He's in his bed a lot for a lot of these cameos.
I'm really surprised constantly fucking I just like what is he get out of bed what do you
do you got with a haircut like that you can't get out of bed this is out of control
This is crazy it's really funny that I I got a Tony Hawk cameo obviously if you haven't
watched the burn up bird draft please watch it to see the various cameos that are in it
Acceptance speeches for burn up bird winners
Tony Hawk uses, like, a sunset as his backdrop.
James Buckley's just in his bed.
Well, Jeff, you must have a spot.
You must have a cameo spot that you do.
Oh, that's an interesting question.
Yeah, do you have, like, a backdrop you always use, or, like, what?
I usually do it against a door, like a, just a white door.
So it's just like a plain background.
And I tend to sit down on the ground when I do them so that hopefully Albert will join me,
but he very rarely does.
Yeah, Tony Hawks is just like, I think probably his house in, like,
or Encinitas or whatever, and it's gorgeous.
Yeah, I think it's just like his backyard, but still, like,
there's some thought to, like, what the backdrop is.
He's not just laying in bed, you know?
Tony Hawk owns a house in Gross Point.
Does he?
That does not look like Michigan, though.
No, I think that's probably something like California, my man.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
You try to get your dog in your cameo?
That's a good idea.
Yeah, hell yeah, man.
Everybody loves the dog.
He's not into it, though.
Henry was a performer.
Albert is difficult.
I could see that.
Yeah, a bit of a pre-Madonna.
I'd probably try and put Smey and some if I did came here.
Maybe I should try some.
Yeah, try it.
I have a life hack before we wrap up.
And I'm mainly saying this because I want Gavin to read on this.
Because last time, I had a life hack.
Gavin did not think it was a life hack.
What was your last one?
My last one was that if you ordered the McDonald's happy meal with pancakes.
Oh, that was your first one?
Well, what was my...
Did I have one between then and...
Oh, I think that's been your only one.
I think that was my only life hack.
Okay.
This one's in a similar vein.
And I've had it work 75% of the time.
It doesn't always work.
But I ordered from Tim Hortons one day.
And they have timbits and they have full donuts.
And their timbits are like the donut holes is what they call them.
They call them timbits.
Justin Bieber had a whole line in them.
It's crazy.
But you can get them.
Same obviously because it's all part of the same donut.
Same flavors as the full donuts.
I ordered two timbits
of two different types of donuts
and I'm guessing they just didn't have
the timet of that flavor
so instead they just gave me full donuts
of both flavors.
I've tried this three different times
at this point and I've received
full donuts on my timid order
two of the three times.
At the price of the timet
at the price of the timet
I'm ordering a timet
singular timet
I'm getting a full-sized donut.
You should order it now
and see what happens.
Yeah!
Well, the problem is, is that when it doesn't work, you just end up with one timet, which is not, nobody wants that.
But I can't.
I can all order it, and maybe we'll do an update.
Did you know that they're not actually the holes from the donuts?
Yeah, I mean, that may, like, I didn't know that, but that, sure.
I don't think of them as being the donut holes, if that makes sense.
Okay.
Like, they don't punch out the middle of a donut to make a donut hole.
Really?
They just get rid of the donut middle?
No, they'd just make it as a ring
Yeah
Oh, that works
I guess there are no bagel holes
So like
Right, they're made in the ring
How come bagel companies don't sell bagel holes
As a gimmick?
They should
Donut holes are just a gimmick
Why can't bagel hole?
So it'd be just like two
Tiny bagel halves
With a tiny amount of cream cheese in between
Yeah, it'd be like a bagel bite
Without the pizza
What are bagel bites?
Oh, fuck.
Bagels, Gavin?
This man's talking about whatever he was grading, gurning, and he doesn't know.
Never had a fucking bagel bite.
Bagel bite.
Show me a bagel bite.
I don't know how he would feel about a bagel bite.
That looks like a tiny pizza.
Oh.
God damn right, it does.
So wait, how big is that?
The scale's nonexistent.
Think about like a little bit bigger than an Oreo, I would say.
Yeah.
Think about the space between a bagel where a smaller bagel would fit.
You into this?
You're not into this.
How do you feel about this, Gavin?
I would definitely try that.
Oh, we got to get him some bagel.
We're just putting Gavin eats bagel bites.
Well, we shouldn't do that because when we put Gavin does lemonade, you got livid about it.
Well, yeah.
Our understanding I felt was that you knew what Sprite was it tasted like.
And that's what we were comparing.
And then we made all this lemonade, and then you went, I just never had Sprite.
I don't know.
I haven't.
What?
And then a lot of people were saying, and then a lot of people were saying that that's not even
what happens anyway, and that you do get lemonade.
Do you see those coming?
What?
Yes.
A lot of people are like, Gavin doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.
I get lemonade every time I order.
And then other people are like, no, Gavin's correct.
What you think is lemonade isn't lemonade.
You don't know what lemonade is.
And there's all kinds of discord.
I'm only basing this on when I took Meg to England for the first.
few times, she would order lemonade and get, and she'd be like, this is Sprite.
I'd be like, yeah, it could be seven up, could be Sprite, I guess.
Lemonade.
Wow.
Huh.
Also, a lot of the comments were annoyed that I wasn't making the lemonade when the title
of the video was Gavin makes lemonade.
But I tried to get in there, but I feel like it was Jeff's recipe and, you know, we were
just, you know, I am, I'm sorry.
I just, I just was trying to take charge and get it done.
Plus, we let you, we let you chop the fruit and that was pretty scary.
Yeah, that was scary.
I'll be honest. After that, I wasn't, I didn't know how much I wanted you to participate.
That's fair. I did some chopping and I did some juicing and I learned while juicing that
apparently I've been using a juicer backwards my entire life.
Yeah, it looked like you probably were. Yeah. I thought you had to put the lemon in the direction
of what a lemon looks like. I saw some comments that people are like, what are you talking about?
Gavin's using it the right. Gavin's right. You guys are using it the wrong way. And then I saw
comments of people going, my man, your life is going to change when you discover how to flip
that for it's it's really exciting when people like learn the right way to do things and they go
oh okay but it doesn't say that on the instructions what exactly who needs them who needs
and me have been using it backwards for 35 years it seems like one of those common sense things
but i guess not yeah look at where the holes are look where the holes are it's the shape of
the inside of the lemon is like a domed out it doesn't say what no what you're basically doing
It's turning each lemon inside out, which isn't clear from the way it looks.
It's from the holes.
Yet, all of us figured out how to do it at some point.
And then Jeff used a spoon saying that was easier.
And it just got a big...
No, I used a fork.
That was crazy.
I used a fork.
Not a spoon.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Not a spoon.
It doesn't work with a spoon.
It works with a fork.
And it works fucking great.
You just ended up getting a load of chunks in it.
No, no.
And we were straining it anyway with the fucking cheese claw, so the chunks didn't matter.
I think they slowed down your flow considerably.
Shut up
What the fuck you're talking about
I never had a fucking sprite in your life
Are you going to tell me how to make lemonade
I don't see how either of those are related at all
Oh it's all related
They're all connected it's all interconnected
It's a big web
It's a big drink web
You don't have to do the thing to insult people doing it
I make fun of Eric's parking all the time
I go oh shit when you hit a curb every time
I don't drive I don't you're not supposed to do it
What I did was make superior lemonade.
Okay.
Using superior techniques and methods, using traditions passed down from cooks to chefs to generations.
You think that I am crazy for using a fork to squeeze a lemon, but when you don't have that thing, it is the best way to do it.
And anybody who's worked in a kitchen will tell you professionally that that is a super valid way to do it.
It got all over your hands and you got all sticky.
Internet chefs unite.
Hold on, they're all filing in the comments right now.
They're all following in the comments right now.
It's overwhelming how many internet people are agreeing with me.
If you took two thumbs and just thumbed it all out,
it would have had the same result as the fork.
We can try that, and then you can determine if that's the truth or not.
And also, do you want your thumb?
I don't want your thumbs in my lemonade.
No offense.
They're washed thumbs at this point.
Can that thumb truly be clean?
I don't know.
When life gives you lemons, throw a gurning contest, as they say.
What if I get two shot glasses of vodka and I just soak thumbs in it for like a minute before I do it?
Well, then you're going to get me secondhand drunk and you're going to break my sobriety.
Why would you do that with Jeff?
What the fuck?
Wow.
Go drink us right, Gavin.
There's other ways to disinfect.
You don't have to bring my clutch into it.
Good Lord.
I was going to say bleach, but I don't think that's going to be great for my thumb skin.
Well, I guess I better go call my therapist.
I don't want to relapse.
Jesus.
Oh, no.
This was the anxiety I had.
The anxiety?
You want me to settle your anxiety, Jeff?
I found another game outside of Green Giant Back, Miami.
Oh, shit.
You want to see the second game I found that I want us to play?
I picked up for us.
It's another, uh, it's not fully released yet.
It's called Amazing Frog question mark.
Quest for the magical mystery toilet.
I think I hate Amazing Frog.
No, I think you're going to love it.
I like Amazing Frog.
I like Amazing Frog.
Didn't we play Amazing Frog?
Wasn't it like set in Swinded or something?
I don't know.
Did you play Amazing Frog?
Were you like a Ragdoll Frog?
We've played a frog game before.
And we got our heads jammed through the blimp.
Oh, this is the sequel to a different Amazing Frog game.
Yeah.
There we go.
It might be a sequel to what you played.
Amazing Frog is an open world sandbox GTA style version of Swindon.
We did play this.
incredible
all right
well watch that over
on our gameplay channel
but we'll see you next time
thanks for listening
bye
bye
yeah
we'll see you later
we'll see you later I guess
yeah
thanks for nothing
thanks for nothing
