F**kface - GoochPooch & Regulation Guy // The Extra Medium of the 70s [156]

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about more nicknames, Poochie, the Mall Draft, other british Gavin, Geoss & Georemy, main birthdays, an extra year of dumb, Gavin has a clip, Zona Andrew, bicentennial man, sleep situations, morning thoughts, Chungle, the $13,000 light, similar slime situation, and cosmic crisps. Come to the F**kface museum at RTX July 7-9 go to this website on your phone www.rtxaustin.com  Sponsored by Hello Fresh http://hellofresh.com/face16 and use code face16 Honey http://joinhoney.com/face and Fum http://tryfum.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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He just made the noise that was so funny he's early so last time we talked about back lengths COVID, Geo Wizard Sloppy Joe's Trivia

Italian food Corridor Digital Jason Bourne season ticket resale Gavin Slime which I'd love an update on if possible, and Rock Not Rock Reactions. There's more, but that's the gist of it. This is 156, whenever you're ready. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey, with me as always, Andrew Patton and Gavin Free, or Agnag as we like to be called. always uh andrew pantin and gavin free uh or agnag as we like to be called i uh i gotta be honest with you it kind of throws me when eric says the episode number because then it feels dumb for me to say it again episode 156 well what eric is saying is not in the show i assume yeah it's just

for you that's just it's just us oh but i thought it was lovely i think it'd be a nice little button for the show for the audience i'll be honest i'm surprised it wasn't introduced as a T-bone Ram scoop and frosty. Oh, right. A great point. I haven't, I haven't, I usually,

I've been making a point lately of listening to the previous episode before we record. And I just got behind and I actually just listened to this week's episode. So I was an episode behind. So I forgot about Ram scoop. What is it? T-bone Ram scoop. And what you forgot about Ram Scoop. What is it, T-Bone? Ram Scoop? What?

You forgot Frosty? Frosty? Of all the names? Frosty. You dropped Frosty over Ram Scoop? Well, no, because Ram Scoop is such a ridiculous name. What do you mean? It stinks.

Yeah, that's fair. I deleted Ram Scoop. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is T-Bone and with me as always, Ram Scoop and Frosty. How's it going? I'm staying frosty, Jeff. I'm glad to hear. Did we ever hear Nick and Eric's nicknames that they want?

No. I don't know that I'm really like a nickname guy i guess if i guess if anything i want to be big dog but that's that's pretty much it hmm what did that mean that was interesting yeah yeah you know i've always uh i've always imagined eric as more of a gooch like hey what's up gooch that's not what we're doing here. We're not doing other people's nicknames. That's not what this exercise has been. Hey, it's the Gooch.

I'm picking my own. He picked Ram Scoop. I'm picking my own name. To be fair, though, as soon as Jeff said Gooch, it fits so well. It does. Yeah. Nope. Nope.

It doesn't matter. All of this is getting cut out anyway. Yeah, I reckon Gooch or Gooch Boy. Go. Nope. It doesn't matter. All of this is getting cut out anyway. I reckon Gooch or Gooch Boy. I don't like Gooch Boy. The Goochy? Nope. That's what he says. I mean, that's not what this exercise is.

Not that. What about a mixture of both? Gooch Dog. Gooch Dog. Big Gooch. What about Big Gooch? Hey, if I had to pick one i'd pitch i'd pick gooch dog but that's just me if i had a few i'm fine switch switch dog to pooch and then we got something

you think you think gooch pooch i think it's amazing thanks for asking pooch pooch or pooch gooch it's gooch pooch okay i think i mean i'm not really again to to be perfectly clear the exercise was pick your own nickname and now i have not no but in defense to them they met you halfway you want a big dog you end up with gooch pooch i feel like that's a good middle how is that in defense of anything well i'm just I'm stating you wanted one thing, they wanted something. As a rules guy, you should strictly be in defense of me in this situation. Well, as somebody who is labeled as piss boy for a lot of this show, I feel like you don't get a lot of rights when it comes to your nickname. So you would be on my side.

No, I'm not. I'm against it because I had no rights. Why do you get rights? Why do you have any nickname rights? They met you halfway. You should be happy. You should be happy they met you halfway. Those are rules I can get behind. I will concede to Gooch

Pooch. This is the first part of F*** Face that just feels like straight up bullying. Yes, absolutely. Yes, because again, this is not the exercise. Look, no, nobody's bullying anybody. Eric doesn't have to keep the name. We all get to pick our own names. Yeah, that's

what's going to happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what the fuck I'm about to deal with on social media for the next year. No. Yeah, here's what's going to happen. Everyone's going to use the nickname I picked and definitely not Gooch Pooch. Audience, audience,

if you're going to refer to Eric as anything other than Eric, please use his preferred nomenclature which is big dog yeah that'll work yeah please cool yeah this is me as a personal plea to you please only refer to him as eric spice rat or big dog the name of this episode is gooch pooch do you have any like visuals when you think gooch pooch is there anything that comes to mind of like what representation would be? Yeah, I was going to say literally about to. Yeah.

Poochie is putting in the chat. That's mine. I immediately it just feels so natural. It feels like Eric feels like. What about what about Nick? Nick, do you have something? Because I saw the audience suggested something for you. I thought was pretty cool.

I'm curious to hear that. But I've always kind of I've never done done this one before, but Schwartzy, I think that's kind of cool. It's like the guy behind the wheel kind of thing. Or maybe like a play on, you know, since I'm a big fan of sauces, like Sauce Boss, like Saucy or The Boss. Oh, that's taken, isn't it?

I've just broken the news to Face Jam that this show has been using the sauce monkey in Nick laughing for a while now. And now if he's going to become a sauce themed thing in this also, I think we're definitely, there's going to be like some kind of war. I don't think we're going to be thrilled with that. Civil war. Yeah. It's going to be like an Avengers Civil War type of situation. But to be fair, FaceJam didn't start the whole Nick laughing thing.

That was an RT podcast thing. That's true. That's true. He used to laugh many a time back in the old studio. That's an excellent historical point, Gavin. And I'm sure that the members of that podcast will understand and agree completely. They're definitely rational. I was going to say,

Gavin, great point. That won't matter at all. Nick, the people I was reading, I was reading the comments on the mall draft, which has, which is gone about as well as I could have ever imagined and hoped.

Everybody has, I've been reading everybody's personal mall picks for their drafts and it's just been it's just been a lot of fun uh but somebody in there uh said i feel like after seeing nick's mall picks he's like the epitome of a regulation guy and i thought that's a pretty cool nickname regulation guy oh i like that yeah i could be a regulation guy is that not what i said and you and gavin had a big argument about all this? Is that not? Didn't we talk about that on an office set?

Oh, yeah, you did say Nick was like the most normal guy. Yeah. And Gavin disagreed. I don't remember the terminology regulation guy being used. I don't either. You definitely made the case. Is that not? Is that not?

In spirit, yes. Yes. Like, really? Who are preliminary numbers? Obviously, it's only been out a few hours. Who, um, preliminary numbers, obviously it's only been out a few hours, who's winning the Maldraft? I mean, according to these images that Nick doctored and threw up here,

he is winning in the second one, but in the other one, I am ahead barely. Wow. I will be putting up a poll on the YouTube channel. I could actually do it now and see kind of like where it lands a little bit. I was explaining it to Meg and she was really into the idea. She did her own little draft and then I played her everyone's picks.

What did she pick? She picked so many that were on there. She picked Auntie Anne's and she also picked that Suncoast video or whatever it was called. She thought Eric had some amazing picks and she thought mine were complete dog shit. She's a regular. I like Meg a lot. She's a normal person.

She's great. My sense when we recorded it was that Eric won. I didn't want to say anything ahead of time to tilt anything, but that was my feeling. Well, let me tell you, I have gotten nothing but support from the Gen X crowd. So I think it may be generational.

Yeah, I do enjoy that. We all seem to have our little niche somewhat for that. Like I've seen a lot of people supporting Zellers, which is great. I've seen people with Gavin's picks. It's nice. Greg's gets a lot of love. Greg's and Zellers, I would say, have gotten the most love. You got to go for regional love sometimes.

Yeah. No love for gamers. I think it might be just a little too old for the audience. Hey, Gavin, I have a really minor Gavin thing I wanted to tell you that happened to me today. A Gavin story that happened to me today. I was at

the coffee shop that I go to, oftentimes in the day, on a nice day, to sit outside and write for F*** Face. And so I was there writing for F*** Face, getting all my notes together, and then working on this other thing I've got for y'all, eventually. And I heard somebody behind me

call out an order for Gavin. And it's like a coffee place and a taco place behind me. And I thought, oh, how funny would it be if Gavver is at the same coffee shops I am at the same time? It would be so lovely to run into you. So I turned around to see if it was you. And of course it was not you. It was another guy named Gavin. But this other guy named Gavin was also British.

guy named Gavin was also British. So, just want you to know there's another British Gavin walking around the coffee shops of Austin impersonating you. Have you ever met a non-British Gavin? Uh, I exclusively, really? I view

that as like an exclusively European. Yeah, we had someone who worked for Ristie to call Gavin. Yeah, okay. Fair enough. I just, I don't think I've, I've encountered two Gavins, you and Gavin and Stacey, both very, like, distinct. Very European. Yeah, I mean, I definitely think Gavin is a British-y name, but it got me wondering, like, is it a very common name in England?

Like, do you run into a lot of other Gavins in England? Because I never, it just didn't cross my mind that there would be another Gavin in Austin. No, I don't think I ever met another English one. I'm not sure how I feel about two Austin Gavin British people. I brought it up because I thought it would irk you. Yeah, maybe get under your skin a little bit. Maybe we should meet up and one of us should

go official. I might have to go official on Ramscoop. I don't know what to say. Well, thank God you've got that backup if you need to pull the cord i know i wonder how many gavins there are in austin it almost sounds like you need to like put out a get together of some kind like a news alert of like all gavins must gather at well you have your your um i do i got the andrew payton yeah i'm in an Andrew Payton group chat, so I think you need to do the Austin equivalent of that for Gavin's.

Huh. I wonder how many there would be. I don't know how I'd get the word out. How would people see it? Like, how would you see that? On your Facebook account that you don't use? Yeah, Billboard. You could get a plane.

A plane to fly around with a sign on the back of it this is gavin meetup i just hope that all the gavins in austin are just looking up that day yeah i think the billboard is the way to go also coffee shops post it post a flyer of all the coffee flyers are great just like it's a band concert i'll see what i can do i think it's a good idea there's at least one more of you out there uh and he loves coffee i can't i don't i don't know how many andrews i've encountered i know you've barely like rarely met any other jeffs right jeff with like a g spelling specifically i mean there's one at rt i worked with one at roosterteeth but you made a note when you brought them up that that's like very rare.

Yeah, I think I've- It's crazy that statistically. I've encountered maybe three in my life. Can I ask something? Of course. Because I have this saved as a tweet draft and it was bothering me and I figured I could bring it up with you, Jeff, because you spell your name G-E-O-F-F.

The way that that is spelled is like this in chat. Jeff, J-E-F-F is like G-E-O-F-F. The way that that is spelled is like this in chat. Jeff, J-E-F-F is like G-E-O-F-F. Yeah. If there's a name like Jess, can you do G-E-O-S-S? Or is that not the same? I think that, first off, i'll preface this by by saying what i have to tell everybody when they bring up my name and then ask me questions as if i had any choice in the matter i didn't pick the name jeff i didn't like it as a teenager go i think i feel

like a jeff i'm gonna let's i was born with it my mom picked it she was like 18 and it was the 70s and i don't know but i assumed she was on drugs like i don't know where the inspiration came from the only other jeff i ever knew was jeffrey the giraffe which was pretty cool because he was the jeffrey the giraffe was the gateway to all fucking toys in my childhood. And so I like your Jerem, the G-E-O-R-E-M-Y. So like, I don't know. I don't, I certainly don't claim any sort of authority over the machinations of how to spell a Jeff. But I'll also say,

it seems like all bets are off with names. People have the dumbest, weirdest, craziest spellings for names left and right. So yes, I think that there probably is a G-E-O-S-S that's pronounced Jess. And there probably is a Jerry Seinfeld spelled E-O-R-R-Y.

Jerry Seinfeld. I've just been writing names with a G-E-O-R-R-Y. Do you think, Jeff, if you were given the choice to name yourself, let's say when you're like 10, is there any world where you end up with Jeff?

No, ever picture you'd be T-bone, but at 10, how long have you been sitting on T-bone yourself? I don't understand. You did name yourself. You changed your name. I've actually changed my name twice.

I was, yeah, but not my first name. Last name doesn't matter I know but you keep saying like yeah my mom picked this thing

you changed your name twice okay yes but for very specific reasons right like I was born yeah I was

can I be honest with you I like the name Jeff I really do and I like the way it's spelled G-E-O-F-F-r-e-y maybe it's just because it's the first name I learned how to spell but it makes sense to me and it feels like me like I feel like a g-jeff I feel like I I feel like I embody whatever a g-jeff is good and bad

and so I'm really down with it the other names I could give two fucks about the middle names and the last names that's why I changed those like i fucking changed underwear like that doesn't matter to me but jeff is i feel the same way about like the look of my own i also really like my birthday it just to me it's like it's like the main day like it's the first day that i had to remember it's just like it looks really good written down i just like but i assume it's just everyone feels that way about their own birthday like this looks great to me i love the way that looks really that's about their own birthday. Like, this looks great to me. I love the way that looks. Really? That's a good-looking birthday.

Can I tell you something? This is something I wanted to talk about, and it's what a funny fucking transition to it. I was thinking about, Andrew and I have spent a lot of time talking about how to specifically create content of and about our birth years. And we've been bouncing around ideas back and forth

for actually andrew we've probably been talking about these bits for way longer than face i think we've been talking about this kind of stuff for four or five years maybe even um sixth round draft uh we should do we do a birthday draft um but we've been talking about like how interesting it would be to live as an adult in the year that you were born, and so via popular culture or whatever. And so I was thinking about my birthday the other day, and I realized I have a really

unique birthday, almost kind of a perfect birthday in a way. I always recognize that having a June birthday is great, because you get presents every six months. Right then in the middle of the year, you have a birthday party, and you don't get combo gifts like being born in January or December like Jack and some sad people. So it's kind of spaced out evenly. But I was also born in 1975.

So I was born in the exact middle of the 70s. And then I was born in the middle month of that year and then i was born four days off the middle of that month i've almost got i'm almost i was almost born exactly in the dead fucking center of the 1970s so you're like the the extra medium of the 70s i am an extra medium of i'm the 70s i'm the extra medium of the 1970s. And I would say that 1974, 1976 would be like medium, you know? Yeah, that makes sense to me. That makes sense to me. And I'll tell you what, I'll relinquish the crown to anybody who wants to approach me

and tell me they were born June 16th, 17th or 18th of 1975. But until I meet that person, I'm keeping that. That's fair. I've never considered my birthday in that way. That was a very good argument, Jeff. You just sold me on your birthday being great. I think it's a great,

I mean, I don't know why, but it's weird to be born smack dab in the middle of something, you know? It is. I like it. I like you sold it very well. What about you, Gavin?

What is the perk outside of it just looks nice? Do you have any other reason for why you like your birthday? As far as structure? Not really. Outside of just it's a nice time of year. Mayrd of may is usually good chance of sun okay

good chance of sun great what's funny about that well it's just yeah you know i said it was the sixth round birthday i'm standing by that sixth round nice chance of weather if that's your main selling point um i mean it's mainly downsides. I feel like no matter your background, all that stuff, there's a huge disadvantage, I think, to being one of the youngest people in the year. And I'm like, I'm not the youngest. I'm not an October kid.

But I feel like the people born in September really win when it comes to school. I disagree. Really? Yeah. My daughter was born 23 days after the school year started. And so she was born 23 days too late to join. And so she had to do an entire extra year of kindergarten because they

wouldn't let her start at the right time. She's going to, she's going to graduate at 19 instead of 18. What? Yeah. Like the cutoff for when you can join is like September, I don't know, it was like September 8th

or something and she was born right after it so they held her back a year and she couldn't start fucking, she couldn't start kindergarten or first grade for another year

because that's why Millie had, Millie has like an extra year of school in her that doesn't count because she had to do an extra year of either preschool or kindergarten. That's bollocks.

Yeah, it sucks. She had to go to school in England. Dude't count because she had to do an extra year of either preschool or kindergarten. That's bollocks. Yeah, it sucks. Dude, I graduated at 17. Millie's gonna graduate at almost 19. Wow. Goddamn. Yeah, it sucks. That's a shit birthday. September sucks. Like, August would be great. September's fucking dog shit.

How is August better? Because it's before that cutoff. So then you'd be the youngest kid in your school. That's why I was the youngest kid in cutoff. So then you'd be the youngest kid in your school. That's why I was the youngest kid in my school. I was always the youngest kid in my class. So you want to be the youngest. Yeah, because you get out the door faster. Like I was set. I joined the army at 17.

Everybody else around me was already well into their 18s or 19s when they were graduating high school. I felt like I graduated early just because I got lucky with my birthday. I always just felt like I was an extra year of dumb. Like I hadn't lived long enough to be at school yet. You and I just saw things totally differently. I think you would have felt that no matter what. I think that's just you. I don't think that that's specific to when you're born.

I definitely felt like when I was at school, I definitely felt like I shouldn't be here yet. I shouldn't be here yet like what do you mean by that like how long like you needed more time what does that mean uh i could have i could have done with starting school i don't know i hated school i yeah like oh i'm with you all of history was just wasted on me and now i love it i wish i could i wish you could pick the subjects you want to do and do all the rest later were were you like sitting in math class maths class and going like oh boy i should have gotten another year before coming into this one i felt like that

was the case like i was i was often sat in front of these books like everyone's cracking on and i would just be like this just isn't for me yet. Not yet! There were some times where it would always freak me out where I'd be we all be like sat looking at the chalkboard or whatever listening to the teacher and I would just zone out and then it like I'd be five minutes in to everyone else just like head down writing and I would just zone back in be like oh What are we doing? Happened to me so often and you think that's because of your birthday To be there I just was

Focus good I Think if I was born in September, and I was the year ahead, you know, I'd be, I'd be ready. You'd be like sitting in class going, I already know this stuff. I'm a year older. No, I'd be there with everyone. When the teacher would be like, all right, do all these sums. Do work through all them. I'd be, I'd be listening and be like, okay.

And it'd be some other idiot who was just staring at the ceiling. Well, what if, what were you born in May? So yeah. at the ceiling. Well, what if... What, were you born in May? So, yeah, is it months? Now look at that kid.

He needs another three months under his belt before he can tackle his attraction. I'm just imagining, like, Billy Madison, like, levels of, like, that's when Gavin

would have been ready. Like, he's a full-grown adult and he's like, you know, I'm ready. I'm gonna take this on now. I can really grasp this. Honestly, I could have been a year later on maths,

probably a year later on English, and maybe ten years later on history i agree with the history thing maybe it's a cultural thing same maybe it's a cultural thing but in america growing up in america like getting through school faster and younger was was prized and like that we had shows like doogie hauser where everybody wanted to be like Neil Patrick Harris and graduate high school at 15 to go be a doctor.

All kids around me were always studying to skip grades so they could get through it faster. It's very competitive in that way, at least through my childhood. Yeah, I feel like the incentive in this country is just to get working,

crack on, get through education, and get get earning that makes started with your life yeah i didn't view it that i guess i hated school as well and the allure of like finishing faster was not at all related to academic success but to just be done with it just to be able to move on to whatever next yeah i've got a clip. You got a clip. Oh, God. Like, I don't know what it is when he says it. I'm terrified every time. It's just going to be something. It's just going to I wonder what it's going to be.

Gavin, I would like to know the ratio of which these clips are like. I feel like it's 80 percent something dumb I've said, and then maybe like 20% calling you out on something, Eric, I don't think we've ever gotten a Jeff clip. Oh, I agree. I agree. No, there's been Jeff clips.

I think it's going to be me. I'm ready for it to be me. Gavin, whenever you're ready, attack. Don't worry guys. You've got nothing to worry about. All right,

here we go. I have by my measurements, a 26 inch back oh 26 inches um and then this you're uh a you're an idiot and b do you think do you think you could eat 24 inches of pancakes that seems like a lot I just liked that I called you an idiot and then immediately got the number wrong. Like, I immediately forgot the number you just told me and I was two inches off. You used a clip to call yourself out?

Look, I gotta keep things fair. We went that whole time remembering the number. Or, like, to find out the number. When he finally said it, I just disregarded it immediately. I remember hearing that and thinking that you just picked a number. It didn't connect to me that you forgot. or like to find out the number when he finally said it i just disregarded it immediately i i remember hearing that and thinking that you just picked a number it didn't connect to me that you forgot that was great i uh i bet if you were born in september you wouldn't have been so stupid that's funny

what are we looking at what is this nick? Nick posted a photo of a Zelda character. I'm guessing that's how many pancakes a Zelda is. Is that do this percentage? Yeah. Do they do they correlate? Are they pretty close to what Andrew said? His back percentages were. Yes.

Way close. He's a Zona. Interesting. Congrats. Are you like a Zona, Andrew? Yeah, I am. That's actually my birth sign i believe is a zona yeah i'm a definite zone i mean i don't know why we need the zone in here we already i submitted

before i'll send it again regulation this picture is so fucking funny to me. It's just, it's you and you're waving. It's so funny. I love it. It's gonna be the thumbnail for last week's episode. It's his face. His face is so,

he's got his little toes. I think he's got a drawstring on the pants. It's so funny. I love it. I love it so much. It's got a little drawstring on the pants. It's so funny. I love it. I love it so much. He's got your expression down so fucking well. I don't even know how to put it into words, but it looks so much like you.

I realized another way recently of how I was dumb for something. I just remembered that I didn't... I learned something probably in my early 20s that I should have learned a lot sooner. And I just remembered this the other day. I thought Bicentennial meant robot.

Because of that movie the Bicentennial? Yeah, because of the Robin Williams movie. I thought it was like Cyborg Man. And then I came to and I heard Americans celebrating the bicentennial. And I was like, was it like some sort of major robot incident that people are... Centennial. You guys don't have robot day in England?

I was like, what's this robot day about? Oh my god. I must have been like 21 or 22 when I realized that Bicentennial meant 200. Oh, fuck. That is incredible. It makes so much sense when you have like Millennial and Centennial. Yeah, sure. I'm an idiot. The robot in this movie,

they made look like Robin. Yeah. Have you seen that movie? No. I've also read the book. It's an Isaac Asimov. It's a much better book than a movie. Yeah, I mean, it eventually becomes Robin Williams. It becomes realistic enough to look like he just book than a movie. Yeah, I mean, it eventually becomes Robin Williams.

It becomes realistic enough to look like he just looks like a man. Oh, that's interesting. Bicentennial. That's amazing. That's so fucking funny. I have the reverse of that, that I was gonna ask you guys about, of if there are things that you've forgotten how to do that

you shouldn't, like, you should still know how to do. I have, uh, this is an incredibly stupid one i'm just gonna say like i'm aware this is really dumb i i can no longer sleep facing right on my right side i used to be someone who would like sleep for a while on my left and then roll over to my right and i can't sleep on my right i cannot get comfortable like i can't find the angle everything feels off like i can't i can't do it somewhere in the last eight months i have lost the knowledge of how to lay on my right side and it has been troubling is it just a comfort thing or are you like putting pressure

on a piece of your body that you don't like i think it's all of it like it's it feels awkward in certain parts of my body i don't know how to adjust because i've been isolating with covid like i have this entire king-size bed to myself i'm like oh maybe if i just shuffle more but i've learned with the entirety of the bed i just end up on the other side of the bed i just keep adjusting like i can't figure it out i don't know how to lay on my right now it's gone and that's the good side to sleep on right because your stomach wants to be is it on the left it's not great i didn't know that i just know that it's it's not i can't get comfy on my right side i think this i think i remember reading something like the stomach is because it's directional it's better for it to be on one side for

comfort i don't remember i don't remember what the reason is that's it so do you it's interesting i sleep i i have the same i have a problem well i have to sleep a certain way too but i have to I don't remember. I don't remember what the reason is. That's it. So do you. It's interesting. I sleep. I have the same. I have a problem. I have to sleep a certain way, too, but I have to sleep facing the door like my back to a wall. I like I have to sleep facing the threat. Yeah. Even it's like a military thing. I don't know if it's a military

thing or just like a I don't know. Like maybe it's just like a caveman thing that's, you know, in me. But but yeah, I always feel like I always think about it. you know in me but uh but yeah i always feel like i always think about it i always have to sleep facing so if i like like nobody will be behind me they'd have to go around me to get behind me so i if i sleep and i open my eyes i can see what's in front of me i don't nothing could sneak up on me yeah that's interesting i find that i wake up sometimes having absolutely no idea where i am especially when i'm in a hotel i think i'm

somewhere else and then absolutely of course so so you can easily'm in a hotel. I think I'm somewhere else. Absolutely. Of course. So you can easily sleep in a hotel where the door is the other way to your bedroom and you would just switch? Yeah. Yeah, I do. I think it annoys Emily, but yeah. I always just sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door facing the door, whatever that is.

Interesting. Hmm. Oh, Nick does it too, he says. Yeah. It's not something I consciously ever decided to do it's just always been how I do it what if the door is at your feet I feel like any any direction works at that point I think that

frees them up yeah as opposed to I don't know I think I just don't sleep on my side then sleep on my back I was trying to think of a room where the doors I think I just don't sleep on my side then. I sleep on my back. I was trying to think of a room where the doors are at the feet of the bed, but then I remember, Jeff, that time we stayed in that really romantic room in San Antonio.

Do you remember that? Yeah. We stayed in like a honeymoon suite at a hotel together one night. And I slept on the couch on the outside of the amazingly lavish bedroom. I slept in the bed. Yeah. And I think that's when we were sending pictures of each other under the covers.

We're like two hours. We just get some funny pictures. Oh, God. That was fun. That was fun. Why do we stay in that room i don't remember i think because i i know i know why because it was like my favorite hotel in san antonio it's called the havana hotel and uh it we were there for a basketball game or something and and steaks

and steaks they had a great steak restaurant really good and a nice green green sauce whatever they put on it yeah like chimichurri sauce yeah and then they had a really steak restaurant. Really good. And a nice green sauce, whatever they put on it. Yeah, like chimichurri sauce. And then they had a really cool basement bar that was really fucking cool. And I was there one time when the hotel flooded with sewage and the basement bar started filling up with shit while I was there and we had to run out. Didn't enjoy the bar the rest of the weekend at that time.

But anyway, I got us a two-bedroom hotel room so that we could each have our own room, and it just turned out that it was a bedroom and then a sofa for you. Nice sofa, though. Oh, it's fine. This ad is brought to you by HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit.

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Get PayPal honey for free at joinhoney.com slash face. That's joinhoney.com slash face. Hey, I've been writing down my morning thoughts again if anybody's interested. I'd love to hear your morning thoughts. I have a few myself. Okay, here's what I have

in no particular order. Actually, I guess maybe they're in a dated order. The first, the first thing I wrote down, a little, I don't know what day this was,

but I woke up and for some reason, it's not even a song that I like. I, I woke up and I thought, I need to listen to Tragedy by the Bee Gees.

And I did. And I was like, this is, I don't like this song. I don't know why I need to listen to Tragedy by the Bee Gees. And I did. And I was like, I don't like this song. I don't know why I wanted to listen to this. The next day I woke up and my first thought was, I need a broccoli pouch. I don't know what that means.

I don't even want to invent a broccoli pouch. I don't know where I was going with that. That was just my first thought was, I need a pouch for broccoli. Maybe it's a way to cook broccoli without releasing the stink into the rest of the house. Oh, maybe that's interesting. That's interesting.

Maybe that's where I was going. Or maybe it could be like a urine thing, you know, like something that cooks things that create the smell of broccoli when you piss is you're on that for a while. That's true. You're deep in the broccoli smell. That's true. The next day I woke up. I don't know if this counts exactly exactly but I was having a bad dream where

like a you know like the scariest thing to me is the exorcist like believable religious horror and I was having one of those kind of dreams where the devil was real and I got I touched something I wasn't supposed to touch and it gave me the devil's diarrhea

and then I woke up and I realized that I had real very real diarrhea and I i woke up and i realized that i had real very real diarrhea and i shit for about an hour straight at four in the morning uh what'd you eat and and i don't even know uh and then uh the next day i woke up and i thought my throat hurts that was covid turns out uh the next the next day i woke up and I don't even know what I don't remember writing this down and I don't know what it means. But I guess I wrote I wrote down my first thought was no one hits vegetables anymore. You're really on that vegetable. I guess I guess the next day I woke up.

What does that mean? I don't know. I don't know. I don't even remember writing it. I don't even remember writing it. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't even remember writing it.

I don't even remember writing it. The next day I woke up and my first thought was the killer has white nail polish. So if you're looking for any murderers out there, maybe check for white nail polish. Don't know. That must have been a part of a dream I had. And then the thought I had this morning when I woke up was I should get my bones stretched. That sounds terrible i think because i read an article about a model who grew like five inches by getting her bones and her legs stretched i don't want to do that i'm happy with my height stretch like when that was my very

first thought yeah they like stretching surgery yeah no there you go those are those are all my first thoughts now when you were casted when when devil's diarrhea was thrust upon you, did you say, step back, Satan? I got shit and shades? No, I don't think shit and shades were in there. And I didn't feel very cool. I didn't wear shades at that point either. I wasn't feeling very cool.

That was just like just horrendous diarrhea. It probably was related to COVID, actually, because it was right before I found out I had it. The devil's diarrhea. That is such a design by hell from you. If you gave me a list of things of who came up with this, I would always put devil's diarrhea as a Jeff. That's a Jeff creation.

Mine aren't as good as yours. Sounds like it'd be your hot sauce. Oh, man. If F***face ever gets into hot sauce, which is apparently a huge market and a big moneymaker, we should make F***face Presents the Devil's Diarrhea.

Yeah, I like it. That's going to be our hot sauce. Stick it in the cookbook. Tony! Can we our hot sauce. Stick it in the cookbook. Tony! Can we make hot sauce? I have a good nickname that I woke up with. I don't know where this came from.

Kind of food related. I was like, you know what? This is a fucking cool name. I could get behind this name. Not for me. I think it's a cooler name than what I would ever deserve. That's a memorable name. Johnny Caviar. deserve but it's like that's a it's a memorable name johnny caviar woke up with johnny caviar my first thing i don't know where it came from johnny caviar this has been in my head ever since then that's great andrew and it's a great nickname maybe maybe johnny caviar could be like an errol situation for you. Oh, like a little cocky, a little lux, a little Gucci.

Yeah. Johnny Caviar comes out. We've got Johnny Caviar. Oh, I like it. Yeah, I'm going to help Johnny Caviar a little bit. This is great. I think I think that is definitely a direction you should get it. You should look into going.

I'm going to explore this. Johnny Caviar. The other morning thought I have is we're being attacked. Anytime I wake up due to any noise in the world, I just assume we're being attacked. That's just a regular that covers most days. Hopefully you're facing the door. Yeah, I'm panicking instantly.

It doesn't matter what the noise is. It could be a bird chirping. If it wakes me up it's ah like what's who's who's what what is who that's me disoriented and ready to argue or fight with whatever's happening um my third one and this is a dream i do you ever have dreams that like you wake up and then you go back into it and you have the dream yeah like you continue i had this i thought this was such a genius idea this is such a dumb thing and this was a genius idea my dream to the point where i would wake up and i'd be like i gotta remember this and i'd remember the name and i go back to bed and it would still be in whatever the next dream was the third idea is chungle it's a game called Chungle. Let me pitch this to you.

It's Chungle. C-H-U-N-G-L-E. Now, what it is, is, you know, like an auto-runner type game? You know, like mobile games like Mario Run? That type of thing?

Yeah. It's Mario Run in a jungle with Chungus-y animals in it. It's a bunch of, like, cute, big Chungus-y animals and they run around the jungle and so it's called Chungle. I was very excited about

this. I was assigned to make Chungle in my dream and I was like this is a great fucking idea. I gotta remember I can't forget Chungle. I gotta get to work on this. You just clear a checkpoint and it's like, that's Chungle. Eric just posted a photo of a very large tiger.

Yes. That's the jungle type vibe. Like a bunch of jungle animals. Like a bunch of jungly animals running around, jumping over logs, swinging on vines.

This episode is nuts. This is like a dream of an episode. What is? So tough to sleep. I'm the fucking, I think I talked about before. I've like a dream of an episode. What is? It's tough to sleep. I think I talked about it before. I've got this bird in my roof. I don't know what it is.

It's waking me up constantly. It's so annoying. It's just on the roof? No, it's living. There's a panel in my building that broke off a while ago, and birds have moved into it. And there's one bird in particular that I hear cawing through my vent sometimes, and it wakes me up.

Do you think that's where your doorbell button ended up? It could be. I think we talked about that, that it could have been stolen by one of the birds. It's terrible. I want you to figure out what it is. Like I think you said that like you download that Merlin app for your phone, but it crashes. There's other apps, though, that'll do that. I'm desperate.

Oh, really? Yeah. There's like other brands you can you can do that. Oh, really? Yeah, there's other brands you can... I mean, I have recordings of it. I just don't... I haven't been able to use the app because it just crashes. Oh, if you have recordings of it, you can send me the recording, and then I... Or if you can play a recording...

Uh... No, that might not work. Why don't you just learn how to do an impression of the bud? That's gonna... Sort of... It's like a... Ah! Type... No, that might not work. Why don't you just learn how to do an impression of the bird? I'm just going to... Sort of, it's like a... Ah! Type of... I'm still dealing with COVID here.

This is not easy. Yeah, you sound a bit stopped up. Oh, I'm not good. We recorded last week, and I was like, I got it, this is going to be not fun, but it'll be fine. And then everything post then has been awful. Did you get hold of some of them pills

that Jeff was talking about? No no i forgot that they existed until yesterday and i thought that's a real dumb mistake by me i just i bought a lot of gatorade and a lot of powerade and i'm really stupid because i bought gatorade to powerade simultaneously and then powerade on their label says 50 more electrolytes than than the leading sports brand so I became strictly a Powerade guy because of that. Red Powerade Red Powerade is the best tasting of all the aid drinks. They're pretty good.

It's pretty good. Best aid drink. It's the best aid drink. It really is. Red Powerade. It's a great assist. Regular Red Powerade. Yeah. I prefer blue a little bit, but... I wish you had gotten on that Paxlovid, dude, because I had COVID for four fucking days.

It was over before it began. Yeah. Wow. I tested positive on Monday, and I was negative on Friday. It was just like... Why didn't you drop off the games for me to send to Andrew, then?

Well, I want to give myself some grace, just in case. You know, I don't want to like, just because I got two negative tests doesn't mean, you know, you just want to be safe with your friends. I already gave it to Gus. I want to give it to you too. Gus went so long without having it. Hey, you guys just reminded me. I didn't even think I was going to talk about this, but I might as well. Do you guys remember when I had that $40,000 flush?

Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. It broke, and then it cost. I had this week the next closest thing to that, and it's already fixed and taken care of. I had a light go out in my kitchen where I was just standing under it,

and the light just turned off. And I checked all was just like standing under it and the light just turned off and I checked all the fuses and everything and the light just wouldn't turn back on. You know how much it costs to fix that light? How much? $13,000. Oh my God. Wait, what?

Yeah. What? Wait, yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? What? The electric in my house is ramshackle at best. You know, my house is, it's like my house, uh, is ramshackle at best. You know, my house is, is a, it's like every house in Austin, it's a hundred years old

and it's cobbled together from like three different houses during three different generations. And I knew that I was going to have to do some pretty significant electric work. Uh, like get the electric from the, like, like I draw more power from the fucking pole than it can handle, and so I have to get the city to fucking upgrade. There's just a bunch of stuff going on. And when that light failed, it created a series of cascading problems

that required me to get pretty much all the electrical in my house redone. So were they ripping the walls open and stuff? Only one wall got ripped open most of it was on the outside they had to replace all my all my breakers oh my god yeah and i have three not because i have like a big house or anything i don't but because my house was built like i said like the first part of my house was built like in the 30s and then they built an addition in like the 50s and an addition in the 90s and so they just kept adding breaker boxes and daisy chaining them and it's just a

fucking mess and so i got it all fixed this week uh i was only without power nick for a day so i was without power yesterday actually oh my god worked out really great that we were recording today wow got it all fixed though yeah and it was just to fix one light well it the light the light no it was to fix the problem my house wasn't grounded properly like i had to watch these guys fucking hammer eight foot long like uh brass spikes into the ground grounding rod and shit yeah grounding rods and shit like they had to do so much it was basically they had to like unfuck a lot of bad like home electrician work and then upgrade everything I don't have surge protectors

anywhere in my house like just had to do a bunch and now I have them like in my wall next to my breakers so it's like a devil's electricity situation yeah yeah yeah and I mean it's it sucks it sucks a lot.

It sucks a whole lot. Because I did not have the money to do it. But I feel better that the house is safer now and it's not going to burn down. You know? Because the guy was like, how long have you been living here? And I was like, four years. And he's like, Jesus Christ, man. I'm glad you're okay.

And I was like, thanks. Me too. Was there no... Did nothing of that get flagged on the inspection when you bought the place? It was flagged that I needed to upgrade some stuff, yeah. But not how dire the situation was. But I already knew that because I had had an electric guy come out and look about moving some electric to the other. First, I'm like, home renovation stuff. And he looked at it and he told me, he was'm not i wouldn't touch the electricity in your house for less

than ten thousand dollars and i was like okay don't touch it see you later you know and then uh at the end then it became a necessity but anyway it got fixed in like two days it was just like two days of work and you know i decimated my savings and stuff of course but um but my house isn't gonna burn down and and so now i'm i'm fucking my plumbing and stuff, of course. But my house isn't going to burn down. Yeah. So now I'm fucking... My plumbing and my electric is so fucking on point. I'm just trying to... And my fridge.

Yeah, I was about to say. Focus on the positive. I'm trying to think what's next. HVAC? Roof. No, HVAC was first. I replaced the HVAC. My HVAC died three weeks after I moved into the house.

That was the first thing, wasn't it? Yeah, that was number one. Okay, so roof next. Roof's next, I think, yeah. The HVAC. My HVAC died three weeks after I moved into the house. That was the first thing, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, that was number one. Okay, so roof next. Roof's next, I think. Yeah. Well, at least you don't have slime. Yeah, what's up with the slime?

What's going on with the slime? Pretty similar. Pretty, uh, still slimy. Do you have an endgame with the slime? Are you just keeping track of it? I want to see if it starts consuming wildlife. Yeah? Like if I see like bugs embedded

in the slime, I'm going to start worrying. I think it's a good time to worry. I think you should scoop some of it. Have you taken any more process photos? No, I looked at it. Well, I think it's not changed enough. I'll maybe take another picture of it next week and give you an update.

Okay. Do you have a microscope? Yeah. Oh, you should take a sample. You should take a sample. Yeah. And look at it under the microscope. Oh, that's a great idea.

You should wear gloves probably when you do that. Yeah. Yeah. And don't put it in your mouth. But yeah, look at it with your eyes. Can I put some in a little jar and we'll have it in the museum what if oh that's a great idea what if it's like why can't we constantly add to the museum until the very last minute eric yeah that's how yeah that's what's gonna happen yeah because i have to deal with it and then it's it's a bunch of people going oh well this wasn't on this list

and it's like i don't fucking know i just put it there and then we just have to stick stuff places can we just say and we already had this conversation where i said stop adding stuff to the museum and everyone said okay yeah we didn't know gavin was growing an alien symbiont yeah and don't end the cut off to the museum three months before the museum opens i don't know who you're who you think you're dictating that to but certainly it's not me you think i'm the one who's going, yeah, man, I really want to make this cutoff happen. I don't think the slime should. I think the slime in the museum is a bad idea. I think it might be too dangerous.

I'm reversing that. Yeah, I don't. It'd be a nice jaw. No, but somebody is going to steal the slime from the museum and then it's going to get mixed with something and then there's going to be another pandemic. That's how that or they're going to turn into a supervillain or it's going to get mixed with something and then there's going to be another pandemic. That's how that starts. Or they're going to turn into a supervillain or it's going to be like a brain-eating amoeba that wipes

out a small town in Iowa. I was thinking this about the museum. I hope we actually have real security for the museum. Well, we're going to have no scrumping signs. I just don't want this stuff stolen. No, I know. Do you think... There's no way there's going to be real security. At the museum? There's got to be. What do you mean? It's that cherished item. it no i know you think there's no way there's gonna be real security i think that museum

there's no way what do you mean it's that i would cherish the item there's gotta be a a bored grad student sitting on a plastic chair somewhere playing on their phone define security cherished their cherished items they haven't said and it's a fight it's yeah i want to put yeah but like i look at the Thrice to Me You, I'm looking at it right now. I love that thing. I love it. I want to keep it. I want insurance on my Thrice to Meet You.

You got it. I'll get a Lloyd's of London insurance policy on all this stuff. It would be a real insult to the tuxedo if the Thrice to Meet You gets stolen while the tuxedo is left behind like this grand heist happens I do agree with that I absolutely agree

with that somebody steals the slime but the tuxedo is untouched I want to keep this stuff or it needs to be auctioned for charity but I don't want it stolen wouldn't it be cool if we could eventually auction off some of our museum items for more than the tuxedo sold?

We have, I think, technically. Have we? I think the fuck hats have gone for more than the tuxedo did. That's great. I think we've already surpassed that. I was talking about it today with someone and explaining that the value of a Don Zimmer card has shot up exponentially because of the show. It's insane. It's insane that that happened. And explaining that the value of a Don Zimmer card has shot up exponentially because of the show. Yes. It's insane.

It's insane that that happened. I think it was a subreddit post where somebody went to like a charity, like a thrift store type thing. And they were selling the Don Zimmer card for $10. And the person asked about it and they said that they were set at that price because the person looked on eBay and that's what the value was at that time. Like we've shifted the market even within that store which is so funny i wonder what the don's number card market is now you think it's on that it's got to be lower than it was the way it always works with card collecting because there's no like when i was a kid there was the beckett card guide right and that was like the definitive way you looked it up and it still exists but nobody pays attention to it now just, it's like whatever the most expensive

it ever sold for on eBay is now what everybody considers to be the price. So because Don Zimmer cards sold for 10 and 15 and $20, they will forever be considered at that price. That's so funny. You know how a few episodes ago, we were talking about William Hartnell, the first doctor, and how he's younger than Brad Pitt

when he was the doctor and all that stuff. Yeah. Yes. In a similar vein to like people being old and stuff. I was watching The Godfather 2 last night, or G2, as TPG would call it. And I thought it'd be fun to go back in time to Robert De Niro here and let him know that he'll have a baby in 50 years. and let him know that he'll have a baby in 50 years. And how just weird and messed up that is. Like right there, he's 50 years from having a baby. Have you seen the internet discourse the last week of who's hotter, like peak De Niro or peak Pacino?

Have you seen this at all? How do you, have you, how do you, where do you weigh in on that? By the way, Eric, it's been all over the internet, Twitter,

I guess, but like you could weigh in here. Who do you think, who do you think it is? I mean, I've looked at the photos and it's pretty clear to me that it's Pacino, but they're both good looking. I would say Pacino.

Interesting. Yeah, I would agree with that. There's also a scene in Godfather two where de niro is holding pacino's character as a baby and i think it'd be cool if they recreated that in real life like just got out pacino to lie down in in robert de niro's lap and leave he was like i think that'd be a really nice what's what's great about the the work in the legacy of pacino and de niro is that they're not above that that could happen you just need enough money you just need that to be in a sandler script and you're

set that could happen man there was a character on survivor this week that did a pacino or last week that did an uh or did a robert de niro impression and it makes it made me not like robert de niro oh yeah that's the problem with De Niro. When people do a bad De Niro impression, it makes you dislike De Niro, even though it's not his fault. And I know people do bad Al Pacino impressions too, but I feel like they're not nearly as common. No. I mean, in that movie, De Niro's doing a Marlon Brando impression, really.

Yeah, that's true. I, for some reason, I look at young De Niro in that picture compared to the older one one below and i see the same person i cannot see young al pacino in old al pacino really no i i just don't see the resemblance they're like i totally agree with you dude a hundred percent like godfather one pacino doesn't look like that guy yeah that's the poll result with 277,000. Wow. It's 50-50.

Yep. Yeah, like that's not the same guy. Does not look like him at all, but... Same guy. De Niro looks like De Niro. Yeah. Yeah. Al Pacino looks like a beetle in that photo. Uh-huh.

He does look like a piece of hair. Yeah. His little turtleneck. That's so funny. Yeah. I'm fucking, I'm just so dumb. You told me, you told me a thing to take for what I have, and I instead ordered six more bottles of Gatorade, was my response.

I didn't even look up what you suggested. Can you get it there maybe i don't know i should look i'm already i'm like at the tail end of it so it feels like it would be pointless at this stage but maybe maybe i should could i um share something that made me maybe really laugh the other day that i discovered um we are a cosmic we are. I feel like there's maybe a time in which I thought, oh, it'd be fun to like find another like Apple or something or maybe like a free agency period. I don't think we can do that now.

Cosmic Crisp is incredibly loyal to us. I accidentally logged into our Twitter account the other day and I saw that we were tagged in a post. Let me put it in chat right now. This is what Cosmic Crisp tweeted a few days ago. Let's settle this at face pod debate.

Oh my lord. Are you a horizontal biter? Jesus Christ. Are you a horizontal biter or a vertical biter? I thought that's funny. That's fucking crazy that they tagged the show. That's great. And we didn't reply. We didn't reply.

We stuck at social media. But I looked at it. I just thought, oh, that's really funny. And then a few days passed and I thought about, am I vertical or horizontal? I think it depends. I didn't remember the conversation. And then I remembered we went through a whole like vertical wiping phase discussion debate. And I'm assuming that the bite conversation happened.

I don't know if any of you guys remember having that conversation. I don't. The vertical wiping conversation? No, the biting. Vertical biting. I remember the wiping, but I don't remember us ever having a debate about vertical biting. I don't know that it was a debate, but I feel like it was definitely was definitely brought up yeah i feel like it was brought up because i remember talking about the way to eat an apple and then i have a friend who ate who'll eat like the entire apple so i

think it was brought up i think i'm vertical because i want to hook my top teeth over the sort of the top ridge by the stem that's crazy i think it's more complicated yeah i think my first bite is vertical and then i turn the apple sideways and go go horizontal all the way around huh i think it like in a vertical entry bite like right on the fat part uh as like as the hump is coming up and then you just turn it sideways and then you just eat it like a cartoon so they posted that i thought that was really funny and then like a few days passed i thought oh wait is that a reference to the vertical wiping thing is this is fucking crazy that this apple company is making a reference to that and so i pulled up the tweet

again and then i saw oh there's eight comments let me go through those oh no and uh there were comments that were uh like uh the account you're highlighting is a bit sketchy uh there's one person another person said um how about not engaging with an account whose name as an embedded obscenity and he's like oh this is fucking great these are people every single person that replied does not follow the podcast account these are all just cosmic crisp people that are have like had this thrusted into their feed and are reacting to crisp they just follow a nice like gentle apple account that is hey what's up face how can you be how could you consider yourself a cosmic crisp person and not be

intimately aware with the world's biggest Cosmic Crisp fan fucking podcast. I call bullshit on those idiots. They're not real Cosmic Crisp fans. I love that they directly tagged our account. The person running that is not scared. No, not at all. And there are people applying. And I thought, when I initially saw some of the negative feedback,

I was like, our name is censored. You guys are being ridiculous. And then I realized our handle isn't. They just posted a face unedited on their primary feed and if you notice it's their pinned tweet it's the top tweet whenever you go to their account right now it is the first thing you see it's just face um i checked again today for it yeah it's great i checked again just to see like if there are any responses or if they got rid of the tweet and they've doubled down I checked again today. Phenomenal. Yeah, it's great. I checked again just to see if there are any responses or if they got rid of the tweet.

And they've doubled down. They're ride or die with the show. They will protect this show. Their podcast name is a reference to a famous baseball card that thematically fits our show, which is about friendship and embracing foolish moments

we all sometimes have. They're also big Cosmic Chris fans. Legend! Legend. Legend! Legend. Legend. That's a legend regarding that account. I don't know who it is. I just fucking love that our closest friend outside of the show

is an Apple manufacturer of all the things. Manufacturer. Dude, they've been true blue to us, Andrew. You got to get in there and respond and let them know what the official face response is. I'm a little bit worried to do that. Do you think we should, for RTX, just hand out some Cosmic Crisps to attendees?

Yes. Eric, what do you think of this idea? Oh, I don't know who we is in this situation, so I'm just not weighing in. That's true. You're saying we and half of this is... I'll let you guys figure out if we're going to do that. We to Gavin means

Eric and I. Yeah. We the company. Cosmic Crisp Apple. Oh, it's a different... Nick was sharing one of the podcasts. I've covered it. And we definitely have had the most coverage of it by far. It's a great apple. Yeah, I mean, we've... Dude, we've... We're ride or die for Cosmic Crisp. 100%. Yeah.

When we're not accidentally eating pink ladies. I haven't had a pink lady since. At least to my knowledge. I wonder if anybody has ever gone to the grocery store and then just switched apples around. So you think you're getting the pink lady, but you're getting a crisp delicious or whatever. Oh, that's horrible. That'd be a terrible thing.

Hey, don't do that. Don't be an apple switcher. As someone who works fruit and veg, that sent a tingle up my spine. Yeah, don't do apple tricks. Apple tricks. The people have seen Stuart, by the way yeah they have he's a big hit great response to stewart a lot of people uh complaining about you know what you don't see in any of those

clips is after we stop filming i go back and have to reset everything i did i talked about that last time but yeah i did work in a supermarket and I did feel too guilty leaving, even though it was a French supermarket. I felt too guilty leaving it in that state. Maybe someday in the future, we can show the audience videos of Johnny Caviar. Oh, there is Johnny Caviar's brewing. Okay. He's got stuff cooking. I would be so happy if instead of Andrew, Johnny Caviar shows up for my wedding.

Oh, God. I'm imagining Johnny Caviar being the host of a talent show. He's the one introducing all the acts. A little spotlight. Big time host name. Absolutely.

We do need to wrap up. We have more to do. But I did want to send this quickly. This is from 51 minutes ago at this point. Who won the mall draft? And Gavin is in the lead. So I think that YouTube, we just kind of have to like throw out. Gavin definitely didn't win the mall draft.

Yeah, I'll be honest. I don't agree with that. I was taking the piss mostly. One of them, I pivoted to Staples because everyone was saying staple so much, and the other one, I picked an escalator. I'd go as far as saying that this puts Crack Rock under review once again. No, no, no.

I stand by Crack Rock. Ridiculous. Look at this YouTube one. That's on YouTube, you saidiculous. Look at this YouTube one. That's on YouTube, you said? Yeah. Look at Andrew's score. They don't know he's Zellers. All-time low.

They don't respect Zellers. I think the other places are a little bit more on the up and up. I feel YouTube is a vindictive place. I love these drops. We do need to wrap up. We do need to wrap up. Yeah, yeah. Let's go ahead and put this thing out of its misery

and put a bullet right in its head so that it can be reborn next week as another funny podcast that you guys will love that we can then kill again and then complete the cycle forever. I'm going to leave you guys with a little bit of a something to think about. A little life hack, if you will. This comes in from

my fiance who invented this life hack last week. If you are ever in desire of drinking an ice cold soda and you don't want it to be slippery and you don't have a koozie readily available, my fiance figured out that you can use a rubber band around your soda and it works just as well.

There you go. Like a thick rubber band around your soda. It won't slip out of your hands. You can grip it really well. It's still cold. It doesn't take the freezy temperatures away. Nothing will do that except for a koozie But it will keep you from

Slipping out of your hands There you go Rubber bands Rubber bands That's a koozie Go ahead and tell everybody you've ever met About the F*** Face Podcast As a matter of fact

Back a long time ago Fans of the Howard Stern Show They would stand outside of the busy street corners the F*** Face podcast. As a matter of fact, back in the, back a long time ago, fans of the Howard Stern Show, they would stand outside of the busy street corners with giant sandwich boards saying, listen to the Howard Stern Show. And I'm not saying

you should do that. He gets enough publicity, but, you know, something to consider. We'll see you next time. Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's

episode of F*** Face. The guys are running behind again on recording, so here's some guesses for next week's episode. It's the official back off. Pantin has had it with Cosmic Crisp. Jeff applied at the mall. Gavin debuts another alter ego. The boys solve the debt limit crisis. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F***Face.