F**kface - Graveyard Season // Goof World Key to the Goof [73]

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about full throat, enrolling graveyard, ashes, funeral, land owner, proxies, Deputy cemetary, Gamer Graveyard, iShowSpeed, keys to the city, Larry King, blind box estate s...ale, safe keys, Geoff playing piano, F**kface Off ball, storage unit, dinner music, new Goof World rule, pound scale, Goof vote, Goof monarchy, 5000 Regulation coins, Marc the Frog, law additions, steaks stakes, Goof color, g, mad burgers, popcorn to go, Creating Character Podcast, remodel the desk, Immortality, $200 popcorn, and duck duck goose. Sponsored by Factor. Thanks Factor! Go to FACTORMEALS.com/REGULATION50OFF and use code REGULATION50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Fly Air Transat Seven Time winners Champions Fly the seven time world's Best Leisure Airline Champions Air Transat Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast This is episode 73
Starting point is 00:00:20 My name is Jeff Ramsey With me as always Andrew Patton, Gavin Free Eric Baddor Nick Schwartz, why the laughter? You came in hot. It cut out so early. It didn't go It just came out as oh I forget that it cuts out sometimes
Starting point is 00:00:36 Such a shame for you But not for the audience They get to hear My full-throated introduction It is October 1st The day that this comes out I believe Eric was saying
Starting point is 00:00:48 Yeah welcome to October 1st The month of Jeff's full throat Yeah I'm saying I give you a full-throated introduction It clips for you idiots But the audience doesn't hear that because it's recorded. It's graveyard season.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Avoid the graveyards. It's more likely that bad things will happen. It's graveyard season. If you were thinking about taking a stroll past a graveyard, maybe reconsider. If you're visiting a loved one, don't. Imagine if graveyards were like signing up, like enrolling for healthcare and you could only do it one month of the year and everyone just had to pile their dead in on the same month. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:01:29 That would suck. It would suck for the people that died in November. I actually don't know how a graveyard works. Like, hang on. Let me, that was a sentence. That made me sound like Andrew. So I don't know. I said it and then immediately went in a man with a shovel.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Okay. So say, let's say tragedy, Nick dies. And we are tasked with handling his body. Tragedy has struck the regulation podcast. And 100% eat. I don't know what I'm doing for work. So we are tasked with handling the body of Nick. What do we have to like, do we like call a graveyard?
Starting point is 00:02:08 Here's the full, no, the first thing. Okay. Nick, you want to get buried or cremated? How are you feeling today? Creamated. Well, fucking, okay, well, we can't bury him. He's ruined it. What do you want us to do with your ashes?
Starting point is 00:02:23 Some people like to be cremated and then put into like a vault. Or do you want to be on the mantel at home? Or do you want to be buried as ashes? I want to be in a tree. He wants to be sprinkled in a pizza hut parking lot or something. Okay. We're still burying him. Nick, your dad, you don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:38 I'm sorry. We just pretend we didn't. So we're burying him. I think this group is more prepared than most with the beanhole prep. I think even if we didn't call anybody. So my question of what the, I don't know how a graveyard works, is us digging a hole for him? I'm saying that worst case scenario, I think we're covered. We're digging a nickel.
Starting point is 00:03:04 I've buried a lot of people in 50 years. I could get it done. It's not complicated. It's easy to bury somebody. It's annoying and it takes a little bit of time. But it's just phone calls and deposits. Do you call the graveyard? Does the graveyard have a number?
Starting point is 00:03:19 Yes, you call. Yeah, you call the graveyard. Typically, when somebody dies, if it's not, if they're old enough, they've already purchased a graveyard. where they want to die, and it's sitting there waiting for them. But if somebody dies unexpectedly like this, then you would call a couple of graveyards and whichever one you're interested,
Starting point is 00:03:36 find out how much a plot of land is, buy that plot of land, and then stick the motherfucker in the ground. It's not hard. It's just sad. As you know, the first headstone in every graveyard is the phone number of the graveyard. It's not an actual body there. It's just the phone number on a headstone.
Starting point is 00:03:52 But even before phones, that's crazy. In the Wild West, Here's a bunch of numbers on a graveyard. This will make sense in 150 years. Nick, are you more insulted that we're burying your ashes at the bottom of a bean hole? Or are you more insulted that Andrew definitely won't come to your funeral? Oh, yeah, no, I won't be there. Yeah, I was going to say, definitely Andrew not being there.
Starting point is 00:04:14 But Dilbot might be. Could we use Nick to cook the beans? Like, can he go in the bean hole? Is that how we, can we make the ashes that way? That's how we make him ashes, right? We throw his body in a hole. We douse it in gasoline, we light it on fire, we lower the beans into it until he's like charcoal. Yeah, we put the beans in first and then put Nick on top of the beans probably.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Oh, on top. Well, then we have to dig through Nick, don't we? Yeah, we're going to have to dig through Nick, but he'll just be, he's just going to be charcoal. But could we break him and, like, sort of do like a fold them really hard and then like he encompasses the whole bean pot? He's not going to give a shit what we do with him. You can bend them in whatever way you want to to fit him. in that hole. Oh. The gasoline's going to take care of it.
Starting point is 00:05:01 This is good. So, yeah. So you call the graveyard. Jeff, Jeff, do you have a plot of land? You got a, you got a grave somewhere? No, I'm not going to be buried in the ground. I'll be cremitted. In which case, it doesn't really matter. I have a plot of land, but just to flex on people to say that I own land. You're a landowner. I own a six foot
Starting point is 00:05:22 by three foot square of land. Let me tell you. Real hard to sell on a real estate website. Not a lot of action. Can I make a request? Yeah. Go ahead. Can I be buried at Andrew's nearest graveyard to see if he'll come to that one? Oh, that is such a good idea, Gavin. Oh, my God. You make it the most convenient for him to visit you and see how long it takes until he visits you. This is incredible. We'll see. Gavin won't. How? Andrew Thors? Thoughts about, I mean, there's a lot of questions you stressed it.
Starting point is 00:06:03 My approval of the idea, how long it would take for me to visit you, what are, one of my, what thoughts are you looking for? Oh. Would you go? Yeah, I'd go. Okay. I definitely go. What's your range? Because I think once you said you wouldn't want to travel further than a mile to do something you wanted.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Was it something like that? No, I'd want to visit your tombstone. I'd hang out. I'd say, I'd just stand there and I'd go, hey, I knew this guy. This guy, this is a pretty good guy. Anybody want to take a picture with me and this guy's gravestone? Hey, have you heard of slow-mo guys?
Starting point is 00:06:45 I wonder how he got started. No? You wouldn't go to the funeral. You would just visit me later. I'd be more inclined to visit you later than go to the funeral. Okay. Interesting. I don't think there's any value to me at anyone's funeral.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Well, it makes me look more popular if there's more people there. Could I just send somebody in my place? Ooh. I think that you sending a proxy to Gavin's funeral makes Gavin seem less popular than ever. Well, what if everyone sends a proxy? Oh, that's what I'm talking about. A funeral of proxies? Yeah, we can see who sends the best proxy.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Yeah, what about this? if I show up as Dilbot. Is that okay? Is that a proxy? I just assumed you were planning on showing up as Dilbot already. I didn't know that. No, I just considered it right now. Gavin, is your funeral held in a place that has free Wi-Fi?
Starting point is 00:07:43 Maybe I could get my funeral sponsored by Verizon or something. Maybe they could put up a hotspot. You're not going to be using a bunch of your data. So just right before you die, can you turn on a hotspot? and then you can just hotspot to your phone like it should be okay
Starting point is 00:07:58 right I'm gonna worry about the bitch could you also try to die at the beginning of the billing cycle so we have a good three weeks of Wi-Fi
Starting point is 00:08:04 before before your bills late here's my promise I will go as far as I can from the office Wi-Fi wherever I end up is wherever I end up
Starting point is 00:08:16 I'll lose control eventually but I will attempt the track so like 20 feet out the front door yeah Let me tell us to see you guys. We recently, as has been discussed,
Starting point is 00:08:26 we recently took a trip to the center of the Regulation University of Deputy Indiana, right? Yeah. We were there. Video came out. A lot of land. Not a lot of people. Not a lot of stuff being done with that land.
Starting point is 00:08:39 I can't imagine it would be too hard to buy a little plot of land and create our own regulation graveyard. And then we could all be buried together in the regulation graveyard. Maybe we could even put it behind that church we could buy. Ooh, interesting.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Why don't we just make our own graves? And then we can put up tombstones of whoever we want to. They don't even have to be buried there. We can have our own graveyard full of tombstones that we want. And then we can be thrown into the mix as well. Can you just start a cemetery?
Starting point is 00:09:08 I don't see why not. If it's attached to a church, I would think that there might already be one there. Oh, yeah, maybe. We could dig up a couple people and make room for us. We could just take it over. You know how it was deemed
Starting point is 00:09:19 a slightly insensitive to play the tombstone game in a real graveyard? What if we open the first game of graveyard where everyone buried there gives their consent for games to be played in the graveyard? That would work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:35 We call it the game yard. The game yard. It's us. It's Mr. Beast. It's I show speed. We get them all. You guys come on to the game yard and play bingo. I like the second. And it further submits deputy as the center of our universe
Starting point is 00:09:56 when we're all dead there together at the same time. I accidentally did a collab with I Show Speed. Yeah? Oh, the cheese, the cheese thing. He was at the cheese. Yeah, I was filming cheese rolling, and he was like rolling through the frame at one point. Oh, wow, really?
Starting point is 00:10:12 If I didn't know what's. Can I ask you guys an ignorant old man question? Yeah. Who's I show speed? I saw it he was I opened up YouTube the other day to watch a card break and I saw that he was traveling across the US
Starting point is 00:10:24 sleeping in like RV or something and I thought that's not cheap this guy must be pretty famous but I don't know who he is or what he's like I get it that he's probably a YouTuber but like what's his angle
Starting point is 00:10:34 is he is he fast is that why his name's ice show speed okay he races people I would say that's secondary to his popularity is he just like a personality then he's just a personality yeah okay cool Twitch personality guy
Starting point is 00:10:47 I'm just, oh, does he play games? Does he like a gamer? Sometimes. Yeah. He shows up sort of everywhere that you didn't think he was going to be like. Like Bill Murray? He's a little bit like Bill Murray. He, uh, sometimes he just shows up in WWE and gets thrown around.
Starting point is 00:11:11 And it's like, oh, okay. I guess that's just what he's doing here. I think he's just, I think he's just, I think he's. a personality who finds his way into stuff like the inside of a prime bottle and then I think he's just friends with Logan Paul.
Starting point is 00:11:27 I think that's just his thing, you know? The only thing I've seen recently is that I guess he was trying to use a fire hose but it threw him on the ground and then he stormed off. I'm just so out of the loop at this point. I mean, that's not happily so. You're not missing that long
Starting point is 00:11:43 I shouldn't be at my age. I shouldn't be in the loop. It would be weird to I was. You're good. You should have a graveyard plot, not know who I show speed is. Yeah, I should be having conversations about how we buy a graveyard together, not about how I take a road trip with I show speed. I think I show speed's tombstone would be on like a treadmill type thing that went back and forth. He still shows speed, even from beyond the grave. A moving tombstone. I like your idea a lot, Jeff. I think a game cemetery. Yeah. Then you like, if you sign up,
Starting point is 00:12:15 Gavin's idea. You sign up, it is, it's, what's called the, they're all Gavin's ideas at the end of the day, but I was going to say, we'll just call it a regulation idea. But you're right to just give good Gavin all the credit, always. Yeah, something to think about. Something to think about. We can get some cheap land and deputy, cut some of that corn down,
Starting point is 00:12:31 throw some tombstone. We could put a Zimmer tombstone there. We could, uh, you know, eventually put us there. It'd be a lot of fun. All our dogs and animals when they die could go there. Andrew's fake cats could go there someday, maybe. The entire community's cats. it made me so happy when we're doing the borderland stream there's a cat that
Starting point is 00:12:51 eric can summon and i just said this is my cat and nobody knows what that means outside of us ridiculous ridiculous so stupid so dumb um i like the idea a lot i think uh some tombstones i think the people a deputy want more people to visit there i've learned anything from your trek to deputy it is that. We can talk about something else. Shit. Shit. You okay?
Starting point is 00:13:20 Starting a cemetery is a very complex, lengthy, and expensive process to the strict regulations. Significant financial requirements and the difficulty of finding suitable land.
Starting point is 00:13:30 So, we're going to have to find an existing graveyard and buy it. We can do that. That's way easier. We as a podcast are giving up at the first sign of regulations?
Starting point is 00:13:39 No, I'm not saying we're giving up. I'm saying we need to alter We need to find an existing graveyard in deputy and buy that. I think that'd be easier. Okay. All right. We can do it.
Starting point is 00:13:49 I mean, if we just not do all that and open a graveyard, who's going to come at us? Oh, fuck. The overall expense ranges from $100,000 to $2 million depending on land and development. Here's what we'll do, though. Here's what we'll do. Here's how we'll raise the money. We'll fill the graveyard with benches and then audience members can buy plaques on the benches
Starting point is 00:14:13 and then we can raise revenue that way. Would you be willing to take pre-orders, Jeff? Is this the one scenario where pre-orders would be okay if we pre-sold tombstones or graveyard spots? I mean, that's kind of the business model for graveyards.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I think we'd have to, yeah. My grandparents pre-ordered their gravestones like 30 years before they died. Well, do you have to pay rent for all the years you don't die? No, I think you just... I think it's probably better to buy it sooner
Starting point is 00:14:40 than later because you get it cheaper and you get locked in at that rent-controlled price. I know that it's going to be hard for me to outdo your 50th birthday present, Jeff. But would you feel insulted by a 51st birthday present being a hole in the ground? A hole in the ground? No, I would be really honored if you cared enough about me to choose where I live for a turn of time. That would mean a lot. Such a disturbing gift for someone potentially with half their life left.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Potentially. fucking Fingers crossed, baby You know what where we could get really cheap, non-regulated cemetery land is goof world
Starting point is 00:15:22 Goof-world tons of room We got space for you And something we can talk about because the content has come out related to it We had some keys to the city We had some discussions About keys
Starting point is 00:15:36 That we could possibly acquire from the Larry King Estate if you have not listened to Regulation Takes 2 you should listen to it We try not to have actual regulation canon outside of regulation episodes but sometimes it does
Starting point is 00:15:52 an idea will start there so make sure you listen to regulation takes 2 Sometimes the idea is just good enough that we can't stop it in the moment we have to let it play out It was a discussion about keys to the city and a belief that keys to the city should actually be able to work within that city
Starting point is 00:16:07 you should be able to open any door I saw somebody bring up the potential of locking any door you want that's also funny but just the idea that they work for one year at least so there's like some weight to it and at the time
Starting point is 00:16:22 there was an upcoming auction for Larry King's Estate which featured five of his keys to the city and we became fixated on these keys we got to have these keys we got to be able to open any door in San Francisco
Starting point is 00:16:34 and so we entered the auction and we thankfully were able to secure the keys. They went very cheap, all things considered. I also got a few other bonus items that I assume there will be a big unboxing at some point during our break show. I have an update on that, actually. I have an update.
Starting point is 00:16:53 So I got an email, the first email I have received from the company, by the way, late last week or early, yeah, I think early last week, that said, hey, if you don't coordinate shipping with us, you're fucked. you take this stuff we're sick of telling you this and I had never received any communication from these people at any point
Starting point is 00:17:12 so I went on to their website and immediately ordered the selected the shipping option and once again shipping continues to cost about as much as the items wild but the keys to the city I believe it is Beverly Hills Cincinnati San Francisco and what was the last city
Starting point is 00:17:35 I don't remember we ended up with five. We have five keys to the city. Maybe it was Miami. I can't remember. Anyway, I selected ground shipping and we should, we'll have them by the time of this recording, but they've been in the, they've been shipping for a couple days now. So we should have them very soon. So you're going to have those.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I also got a few mystery lots that were I think the cheapest lot available. I secured. I'm excited to see you guys unbox that and, uh, can I ask a question? Yeah, of course. How cheap is the cheapest lot? I think it was $80. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:12 And when you say mystery lot, is it a mystery to us or a mystery to you too? Okay, so you know what it is. I've looked at, yeah. Because that is a fucking angle. And maybe when I die, if they do in a state sale, it's got to be all blind box of state sale. Like, everybody pays, you pay 75 bucks and you get a plastic bag full of some of my shit, but you don't get to pick what it is. And then we just clear the house out that way.
Starting point is 00:18:36 I think there's a, that's a, people should look into that. That's a great idea. I think there's something hilariously morbid about a TikTok blind box, Laboobu style opening of clicking on the box and showing all the mystery stuff they could get. Bada, a, about a Jeff box, let's see what we got. Looks like we had some of his old underwear. It looks like a piece of art his daughter made for him. It appears to be an ashtray.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Tep, tap, tap, tap, tap. I do, I do want his sunglasses. I don't want. his socks. Ah, I got his framed Army DD 214. That sucks. Oh, man, it's only all left socks. That is a great idea.
Starting point is 00:19:16 That would be very funny. But in the talking of keys, because you have that lot coming, I have decided that goof world needs to hand out a key by the end of this year. Okay, I'm into this. So I wanted to declare
Starting point is 00:19:29 everybody's in the running to become a key of goof world recipient. But in the community, or just us? You, you guys, anybody. I'm going to put it out there for anyone can be a recipient. It's out there.
Starting point is 00:19:43 So think about it. So you're going to manufacture a physical goof world key, right? Yeah, I believe that's the plan. Yeah, I'm going to make an actual key and there will be a recipient. We'll do it at the last podcast of this year. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:59 I love this idea. What do you call it? Like, it's like goof world's key to the city? Keys to the goof. Okay. Key to the Goose. It works for one year. Do you still have all those keys that you had for that safe gag that you didn't do?
Starting point is 00:20:14 Oh yeah, I still have that in my... Yeah, fuck. That thing's heavy. And shipping is only increased in price. Fuck. You know how we're planning on getting the keys engraved? So it says like, the city of San Francisco presents this key to Larry King and regulation podcast.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Yes. Which is maybe the funniest. bit we've ever come up with to me personally. Uh, I was just thinking about it. Doesn't, not as funny if we do it at a graveyard. No. Like, in loving memory of Aunt, you know, Samantha
Starting point is 00:20:47 and regulation podcast. Yeah. Doesn't play this. Doesn't, it's weird. So the graveyards are where comedy goes to die sometimes, I think. It's unfortunate. We're going to our game graveyard, our game yard is going to be a lot more irreverent than this. Good. It should be.
Starting point is 00:21:04 I think it's something specific to Larry King. I think Larry King is just a funny individual. There's an aura of, it makes it fun. And Larry King very, was very seriously considered himself to be a comedian and a very funny dude and would write jokes and do stand up. And in the, like the last like 10 or 15 years of his life was really into the idea that he was funny. So I think he would, above all else, would understand and get the bit. He made me laugh once when he asked Seinfeld if Seinfeld got cancer.
Starting point is 00:21:36 So everybody, just be aware. Keys to the goof. It's coming. All right. I love this. You can go up and down. So what happens? Do you physically send them a key?
Starting point is 00:21:47 Do they have to send it back at the end of the year? Or do they keep that and then we make a new key the next year? I think it's a new key every year. Oh. It's a new key and a lot of change. I'll send it to the person who receives it. Is it going to be comically large? No.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Probably not. Well, you know what? Actually, I can't say that. I don't know how I'm going to make this. key yet so it could be if I have to personally make it it's not going to be comically large okay if I can order it from somewhere it probably will be comically large if it's not an inconvenience for me personally and just for the person receiving it it will be comically large you if you want this key by the end of the year you better start
Starting point is 00:22:27 looking now we're uh this is we're recording this on September 16th and as of today like stuff we're ordering for the store we're not going to get to like like mid-December. We're really running out of time. Yeah. Shit. I'll lock you in. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:24:03 Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. Thanks, Factor. The video came out, which was our road trip to Deputy, which people are really liking so far. I'm quite happy that many people were fooled by the billboard briefly. I think depending on the size of the screen you're watching on, it looks more or less convincing. Real convincing on a phone. Real convincing on a phone. But what I didn't expect was how many people were convinced that Jeff was playing the piano.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Really? That's so funny. Have you seen the video? I have. It's fantastic. Do you want to see the tune that Jeff actually played on the piano? You would love you. Oh, do you have it?
Starting point is 00:24:50 Oh, awesome. Fantastic. I put it in the slide. the beginning sounds like a song yeah I can't tell the difference between that and the version it sounds no different at all nailed it Jeff I was the physical performance of a person that looks like they're playing piano and I said fucking sold it with that
Starting point is 00:25:30 Oh, sold it perfectly. Yeah. And I also blown away that the ball from that video, which was under the sign, was retrieved within like five hours of posting the video. Yeah, super, super fast. By someone who just happened to be like coming back through that area after doing a job somewhere.
Starting point is 00:25:46 I thought that was such a good chance that that thing was going to get waterlogged from a rain or from a bunch of humidity and it was just going to be goopy or it was going to get chopped a bits by a lawnmower, but yeah. I mean, it's pretty, it's pretty goopy
Starting point is 00:26:01 it got a little goofy if it had been there much longer it would have been fucked but yeah yeah that's uh but congratulations uh we were doing the break show and phallis omalus came in the chat and said hey I have it and it was like all right you better post it because
Starting point is 00:26:16 uh you can't just say that and then they posted it and everyone went crazy which also led to so there were so many people that went to deputy to find this ball oh man so many people were posting like I'm two hours away I'm on my way right now and it was uh it was pretty crazy deputy's gotta hate us already i mean they they definitely hated us when we were there we should rent one of the storage units and have a meetup in it
Starting point is 00:26:41 i think we'd get kicked out of the town i think deputy dog would come kick us out i don't think we should do that does it say no meet ups when you rent the storage unit it's scary i don't think you can i don't think you can just meet up in a storage unit dude especially those storage units let's be honest they look like they might be meth labs. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, those are rough. I think they're doing some pretty brisk business there. I don't know what we want to get in their way.
Starting point is 00:27:04 But now that we're done, we did it. FACE off season one, finally officially done. In the books. We can move on to FACE off season two. Hell yeah. I can't wait. Andrew's been really putting it together making things happen. I'm really, really, really excited.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Yeah, we just got to lock in the format. Yeah, people were asking me about it in the stream this morning. And I told them, I think that all barriers are done. I think we filmed all the intros. Everybody has their teams. Andrew made all the arenas and the logos and everything. So we're just ready to shoot, right? Yeah, we just have to lock in how we want to have it come out.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Right. Once we lock in format, we're good to go. Easy, pretty excited. Easy peasy. That was a great video. You guys going to Deputy. Really enjoyed it. I had so much fun on that trip.
Starting point is 00:27:49 And it was a lot of people are like, you should release the whole 16 hours. but we didn't I used like most of the footage I took I just took little snippets every few hours and then obviously filmed in the mall on that Gavin somehow managed to capture almost every single funny thing
Starting point is 00:28:07 that happened in that entire trip like there's nothing on the editing room floor or there's nothing that got missed really I would say the only thing that got missed that was really funny was when Jeff was trying to text Emily using voice to text And we all kept chiving in to try and get the text to read the most insane thing.
Starting point is 00:28:30 And for some reason, I just was so into that that I wasn't filming it. But other than that, I think every funny thing was there. It immediately led to a phone call so Jeff could explain what was going on. So that was fun. The other funny moment that didn't get caught that may have only been funny to me, but it was a miserable kind of funny, was we found this little basement bar restaurant to eat dinner at. I was about to bring up the same fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Oh, my God. This was my favorite, too. It was weird, man. You go into an office complex, and then there's, like, a waiting room for a doctor's office, and you go down an elevator, and then you're in some little, like, gothy bar. It was cute.
Starting point is 00:29:07 It was fun. And the food was good. But we, it's real small, and there's, like, a little stage and then just a little eating area. And we went and we just picked a chair. Place is just about empty. There's, like, two people sitting at the bar,
Starting point is 00:29:18 and one couple on the other side of the restaurant bar. And there's maybe, it's maybe like a 20 top, this whole. place. Like, it's real small. We sit down. Somebody comes over and hands us menus. We look at the menus and we go, I'm like, this is going to be a good night. And the second I think that, some guy walks out onto the stage, which we realize is I could touch the stage with my left hand from the table, sits down in front of a microphone with an acoustic guitar and goes, my name's Dickhead. I'm about to play for the music for you for the next three hours. Three hours.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Three hours. Three hours. Unbelievable. He played music for the entire time we were there to my left ear and Eric's right ear because we were four feet away from him. And pretty much the only people in there. And it became impossible to talk or have a conversation. He also was doing chat with people across the room as well over our heads.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Yeah. Licking new people as well. Incredible. I have a new rule for. Goof World. I wanted to throw out there. I figured out how the law works in Goof World, regulations, I guess specifically. We're doing a reverse method in Goof World. It's going to be, me as the current mayor of Goof World, I'm going to institute things to the people, and then at the end of the year, they can vote if they want to remove it or not. But they have no say
Starting point is 00:30:45 in the rule being applied. What's that the reverse of? I think so. Isn't there typically a vote, or I guess you're voting on policy, right? You're voting that you're assuming... I see, like, you're bringing it... Okay. I thought you were saying, like, the Gouffield starts off with everything being illegal
Starting point is 00:31:01 and then you... No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I have to institute and they have no say in this process. First rule, everything is on a pound scale for size. A pound scale.
Starting point is 00:31:17 So I ordered a quarter pounder last night, and I enjoyed, I like that. I like that form of measurement. So no stones? No stones. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:27 I just know, but everything, everything is applied to it. So no, bullshit, small, medium, or large. It's all related to how much a pound is. I'll have a pound of cappuccino, please. Exactly. One tenths of a pound of cappuccino. So no grams. No grams.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Get grams out of here. Can we use, do we have to call it Insta Pound if we use it the app? Sure. Why not? Dumb joke. Christmas Cracker joke, that one. Thank you very much. So wait, you're starting a brand new world in 2025 and you're not going metric?
Starting point is 00:32:08 We're going pound. I think the pound. I know what a pound is. When I read quarter pound or beef, I know what that means. Okay. I get it. Small, medium, large means nothing. There's no, there's no scientific, there's no, it could be anything.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Because it applies to multiple mediums. Like, you don't order liquid by the pound. You can. You don't wear a shirt by the pound. You do if you go to certain Goodwill's. How heavy is a gallon of water? A kilogram of water is a liter, right? I think that's what I think that's all right.
Starting point is 00:32:43 It's four liters. Oh. Is it? I'm just imagining being arrested for having like six grams of weed in Goof World and they're like, you're going to jail for 0.013-2277 pounds of wheat. See?
Starting point is 00:33:00 If you display it like that, then I'm throwing that case out. That's ridiculous. I'm also voting on weed being legal in Goof World after the fact. Yeah, I'm fine with that. It's approved. What about abortion? Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:33:16 What are we doing? I just thought, a good opportunity to get some of Andrew's opinions out. Yeah, it's all good. Does Goofield occupy a physical space, or is it more of a state of being? Oh, that's a... That's an interesting question. Oh, like, it's a liminal area?
Starting point is 00:33:36 I think state of being, I don't think it's... Yeah, I don't think there's a literal place. So, like, whether we're in Nanaimo or Austin, we can all still be in Goof World together, as opposed to us having to go to a physical space, like in deputy or somewhere, Exactly. Gotcha. I like that. That makes total sense considering it started off with like the time zone. Like everyone across the world sharing a goof world time zone. I do think it's really funny to have on a chart. The first three things approved in goof world. One, everything's on a pound scale. Two, weed is legal for three. Abortions are fine. Abortions are legal. What a jump. I already I already like goof world a lot. And four, we're all in the same time. Oh, you hate Goof World because we're changing the clock every fucking year. We're shifting.
Starting point is 00:34:25 We haven't locked that in yet. You're going to be unhappy in Goof World when 8 a.m. becomes 3 a.m. Yeah, you specifically are going to have issues with goof, goof time. Yeah, I mean, what are you going to start? Like, what, the 9 a.m. you've got now, what do you want that to be? Uh, oh. What am I feeling today is what should 9 a.m.? This is terrible.
Starting point is 00:34:55 5 a.m. I guess. So, okay, so that would be 7 a.m. here would be 9. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, see, he approves. He gets it. Gavin gets it now. Can we call the law in goof roll, the glaw, the gulah, the goof law? Disapproved.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Oh, but that's a reference back to the little printing the glaw thing. Yeah, do you have to print it every day? Oh, that's interesting. Because it goes back to our roots On the amendments from yesterday You know what you sold me Jeff Approved Thank you thank you
Starting point is 00:35:25 I flip I'm a mayor that can be convinced I can be swayed I'm not locked in We go get you a little gavel What's a goof world mayoral term Hmm I think that's a really good question
Starting point is 00:35:39 Because you started this whole thing Andrew by saying as the current mayor Of goof world Yeah there will have to be an election At some point obviously Right but if it's on but we're on goof time. I imagine that we're like the day before the election,
Starting point is 00:35:51 you're like, oh, it's actually 2022. So we don't, we don't have the election anytime soon. Oh, you could reset your term. We went back in time four years, according to the goof calendar. Yeah, I think maybe it's like every two years, there's a decision if we need an election or not. And then we initiate an election if there is a vote,
Starting point is 00:36:11 a majority vote that. Hang on. You have, you have an election to see if you need to hold an election. Yeah. Well, no. No, we don't have an election to hold. We put out, hey, we feel in an election this year every two years. You're putting out feelers? Yeah, we're putting out feelers. Yeah, because people might be like, you know what? He's doing a pretty good job. They're doing a pretty good job as the mayor of goof world. They're fine. We don't need to vote. We're all happy. And then if there's a re-election, then one is instituted. You walk in. Do you think you would ever get re-elected? You know what? I'd say so far, I'm doing a pretty good job.
Starting point is 00:36:54 I haven't heard any complaints from the residents of Goof World. I think this all started with complaints from Gavin. This is crazy. Yeah, but he's not a resident. Well, I want to be. I think we should definitely sell Goofield passports in the store, and then anyone couldn't just decide. I mean, would you allow citizens just to come in themselves and become one,
Starting point is 00:37:15 or did they need to go through like some sort of history tests? No, I think anyone can opt into Goof World citizenship without an application just buy it.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Yeah, I think they can acquire their way. I mean, isn't that how America works right now? You just buy your way in? That's like it's $5 million. Yeah, well,
Starting point is 00:37:33 it's a lot less for Goof World. Five? Significantly. All right, we're still figuring out pricing. Yeah, we're trying to set up a city here.
Starting point is 00:37:42 I just like the idea of an item in the store that comes with a small, application that gets approved on tonight. Yeah, I think it's open to anyone. I think you can be kicked out a goof world, obviously. Oh, damn. And is that sole
Starting point is 00:37:57 discretion of the mayor, or is there a vote? You know what? I'm trying to, you know, I'm really deciding if I want this to be like a monarchy situation or how we're handling this. So you were starting, so you started as a mayor and now you're considering
Starting point is 00:38:16 a monarchy situation? Well, just in the sense of like, I'm ultimately making all the decisions. It is I'm going to say it is a little bit intimidating to have a completely open place
Starting point is 00:38:33 decided by people that can just opt in and do whatever they want. However, that's sort of how the world works. That's how democracy works. Well, not everyone can live everywhere they want. no but if you're born then you suddenly have a voice in this thing
Starting point is 00:38:48 like you're automatically opt in you're opted in there's less paperwork potentially than there is a joining you know as a person who was born I gotta agree with that hey me too so one of the requirements to be a goof world resident is you have to be born
Starting point is 00:39:04 I think you have to exist yeah yeah if your parents are both goof world citizens you're automatically in oh That's interesting. We need... And I think you can run for office. You're not...
Starting point is 00:39:19 That's interesting. You're not... So, Goof World, it sounds like Goof World might not be for birthright citizenship. Interesting. Hmm. Does anybody see a world where these jokes continue and spiral out of control and somehow we look back and Mark the Frog as the mayor of Goof World and we've lost completely internal control of our own creation?
Starting point is 00:39:41 We did the break show. We did the break show and we were like... like, all right, we're making all these coins because we lost a fucking coin cost. Oh, no. Oh, my God. We're making $5,000 of these coins. Oh, my God. What happened? Oh, we got the coin. The Ian's, Ian's an assholes coin. And then Jeff decided that we're going to see how many we're going to do on a coin flip. But Gavin's there. So the numbers are too high. So the numbers, no, shut up. So the numbers you guys landed on was $2,500 for heads and $5,000. for tails. And it landed on tails. So now we're going to have 5,000 coins. It landed on tails and marked the frog in the chat. Just went, I'm not going to buy one of those.
Starting point is 00:40:25 In my defense, I think that was Gavin's idea to flip the coin. I don't know that it was mine. You are so. It was Emily's idea to flip the coin, I think, after saying that it should be 10,000 or 1,000. And then Emily and I did some negotiations and we shook hands on 2,500 or 5,000. It seems it was disgust, so what are you going to do? Either way, Jeff was, Jeff, Jeff is partly accountable for this. Yeah. Here's my thinking, though. A coin is smaller than a clock.
Starting point is 00:40:56 That's, you know what, Gavin? You're right. There's also a lot cheaper to make. Unless you're goof world. It's good to know. Anyway, we fucking, that's one of the dumber things we've done professionally is flip a coin to determine how much of a product to buy. with the numbers being so askew.
Starting point is 00:41:18 I was really hoping to print a thousand of these things in general, which is what I kept floating. Let's make it 1,000 or 2,000 maybe. But you guys went out of control with the bidding. We played smash, though, to see who was in control of the company. Yeah, but that's just a paperwork thing. That doesn't matter anywhere. That's title only.
Starting point is 00:41:36 Somebody's got to write a check for this. And I said, Eric and I are somebody. It's, yeah. I mean, the first. problem is, is I've seen this all the time with like shoe resellers. This is a big thing in that world. So I don't, I don't feel like you, anybody made a wrong choice. I think this is within play. Interesting. It seems reasonable. Incumbent upon us to convince the audience that they need an Ian and an asshole coin to make decisions in their life in the worst fucking, I got
Starting point is 00:42:09 to have a Gerpler kind of way. And we have between now and Christmas to do it, I guess, because that's, I think, when we'll get them. I guess the problem here, though, is when I see this done in the shoe world, when they flip the coin, typically there's a winner, and nobody won here. We have probably got way too many coins,
Starting point is 00:42:27 and there's nobody that wants the coins, so nobody really won. It's a complete loss. It was just the loss of a coin flip. The company that makes the coins won. Oh, yeah. The stakes were entirely. entirely wrong.
Starting point is 00:42:45 5,000's a lot of coins. I don't know if I've ever had 5,000 coins at one time. That might be a record for me. That'd be a shitlet of coins. How heavy is a coin? Well, that are different ways. Uh, yeah, but...
Starting point is 00:43:00 That's a good point. The regulation coin, the regulation coin has some nice heft to it, but I couldn't tell you in goof world pounds how much it is, I'm sorry. It's less than a pound. Maybe like a tenth of a pound. Oh
Starting point is 00:43:13 See, if I hear 10th of a pound for a coin I'm buying 10 coins I want to have a pound of coins We should sell them in single Here's all right Here's what we're going to do We're going to sell individual coins And then we'll sell pound packs
Starting point is 00:43:26 We'll figure out how many equals a pound And then we'll sell that as a bundle So you can buy one coin Or you can buy a pound pack Or what if you could buy an inch of coins That does nothing for me Because here's the thing That inch of coins, it's going to get knocked over at some point.
Starting point is 00:43:44 It's not going to stay in that inch position. Well, I mean, an inch of food might be eating at some point. What difference does that be? Yeah, but with coins, if I have a pound of coins, then I just know I have a pound no matter what, no matter where they are. I have a pound. Yeah, and with an inch, I've got to be, I can be like, well, I've missing. I've lost half an inch.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Where are my other two coins? Yeah, but you're going to lose like three coins and be like, how much of the inch do I have left? I guess the same equates the pounds. You know what? It's just that I like pounds more than inches because I don't know what an inch is, but I know what a pound is.
Starting point is 00:44:19 That's fair. Well, okay, can I make a request for Goof World? What if we all come up with like a request for the laws of the land? And I don't have mine ready. Can we please use Celsius? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:31 That was assumed. I didn't even consider putting that to a vote or having to tell the people of what that is. It's just, yeah. I'm in Celsius. A counter, is there a way that we can use Kelvin? Yeah, I'd prefer to use Kelvin.
Starting point is 00:44:45 If I can't use Fahrenheit, I don't want to be able to use Celsius either. I want to find a new... The name of the robot and moon? I think it should be neutral. I think, yeah, I think Kelvin feels like a very neutral. Like, what do you think the temperature is right now in Celsius for you guys? Like, Andrew, like, what do you think you're... 18.
Starting point is 00:45:03 It's 18 right now? Okay, that's my guess. Outside? Outside? No, yeah. What? Wait, what a fucking... I can't.
Starting point is 00:45:14 I don't even know where to go with that. Wait, who's the idiot? Me? Yeah. Tell me why. When people ask what the fucking temperature is, they're not asking what the temperature in your office is. They're asking what the temperature outside is.
Starting point is 00:45:28 All right. Well, I mean, 18 could be the temperature inside, too, so I was clarify. What's the temperature today? Well, inside. Oh, well, in my garage. It's slightly warmer than my living room. I haven't checked upstairs yet, but it's closer to the sun, so probably a little warmer. Well, it's eight, tell me, tell me how this strikes you.
Starting point is 00:45:49 18 degrees Celsius is 291.15 Kelvin. I mean, isn't it like that? I like that. I like that. I like that. It's 273.15 just to get there. Okay. Well, then that's what I like that.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Yeah. Not that I have a say. I'm not the mayor. It's true. It's true. I'm just proposing it, you know. that's my proposal but do you guys have any any uh laws that you would want in from the beginning apart from like the one you already said weed oh weed weed weed in abortions uh
Starting point is 00:46:22 i just want everything to be legal i don't want i don't want anything to be illegal i don't know there's going to be some illegal stuff yeah you think that's like fun you know that's fair i'm a big i'm a big brother up my ass jeff's goof world is like kind of scary to me Andrews, Goof World is fun, and, like, the possibilities are exciting. Jeff's is like, you're going to get stabbed, maybe. He's not going to get stabbed, but heroin's legal, probably, you know? He's just like, whatever. I think that might lead to stabbing, so.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I think they might be air-connected. Okay, I have a different one then. All right. I have a non-drug-related one. How about Andrew said something about raising the stakes earlier? How about in Goof World, if you use the, if you, any time you use the word steak, S-T-A-K-E, uh-huh. you have to then eat S-T-E-A-K
Starting point is 00:47:13 at that day. Like using that word, that's a steak flag, you're throwing down like a potato flag, and that means now you got to cook a steak or buy a steak or eat a steak. I kind of want a steak right now. It's about lunch. I was trying to find, like, an alternative
Starting point is 00:47:30 if you were a vegetarian, and I feel like... Oh, cauliflower steak. cauliflower? Okay, well, yeah, that's fine. As long as there are alternatives for people sure uh i i want to propose that it's illegal to back into a spot yeah can't back in you gotta pull in forward you're not a secret agent you're not you're not impressing anyone pulling forward but then you got to back out i don't understand this why why why is there a preference because it takes longer when you have to back in you got to do like this j turn thing that's like just holding up the rest of
Starting point is 00:48:00 the target parking lot yeah but you also have to do it in reverse why do you have opinions on this you don't fucking drive. Why are you? What are you saying? Get them. Get them. Get them. Get them right now. I mean, I didn't invent blue, but it's my favorite color. What do you want for me? Oh, that's my favorite color, too. I'm just surprised that you care about anything driving related. If it's something you have to do backwards, no matter which way you do it first, you still have to do it backwards. I think people, I think people who back into their spot think they're really good at backing into their spot. And I've seen way more people try to do it and go, oh shit, I wasn't quite right and have to keep going forward and
Starting point is 00:48:36 like jim it a little bit. Is there? Well, first off, what's, Andrew, what's your favorite color? Orange. Eric? I can go with yellow. Nick. Interesting. Is there an official goof color? Like, you know how there's like a state bird and a state flower? Do we have like a goof flower, a goof bird, goof color, goof song? Like, you know, I do wish that we locked down the color before weed being legalized. It feels like that this is an important detail. Not that the other things aren't important. Can we mix all our colors together?
Starting point is 00:49:10 What would we get? Probably a terrible... It's not gerpil? I'm just going to throw this out there. It seems like gerpil would be our color. Yeah, I would assume, right? Yeah, it's probably gerpil. And the state bird is obviously Jack's...
Starting point is 00:49:25 Exotic. It could be the regulation pigeon or it could be that little woodcock. Yeah. And to be clear, that's our pigeon now. We own that. That's ours. That is true.
Starting point is 00:49:37 We're buying that from Jack, so that's our pigeon. Can we make an exotic bird be one that none of us have ever seen in Goof World? Sure. Like one that's extinct? I guess, yeah, you could do extinct birds. I'm just saying it's such an exotic bird, never seen one. Dodo? I don't know if we could make it.
Starting point is 00:49:56 It could just be a question mark, and we'll just say that no one's seen it yet. maybe the bird has its own flag and it's drawn by an artist who doesn't know what they're drawing
Starting point is 00:50:08 and is only having it described to them. Oh, I like that. That's an interesting idea. We should hire like 10 artists and all have them draw a regulation bird. That's the only prompt we give them.
Starting point is 00:50:23 We just need you to draw a regulation bird and then we see what those 10 birds are. And how many of them look like our regulation bird. Because I would bet a few will. Can we potentially also pick like the state punctuation? Like do you have any characters on a keyboard that you would pick to represent us,
Starting point is 00:50:39 Andrew? Oh. So what do you mean by us? Like all of us? Like what? The residents of goof? Instead of like the state bird, I'd just be like the state punctuation. Characters on a keyboard. I'm looking at my keyboard right now.
Starting point is 00:50:57 I got a new keyboard and the keys are on the front of the key and I don't like it. That was a mistake. I shouldn't have got this. Oh, that's horrible. I hate this. Yeah. I'm not a fan. I'm going to say G. G for goof.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Right. Right in the middle of the keyboard too. Right in the middle. Not punctuation, really, but. Okay, yeah, I was going to, I was getting. So that's like, thanks for coming and then another, you have to put like a second G at the end. Is that a period? use tiny G's? What do you want for me?
Starting point is 00:51:33 You want a comma? I think you want a punctuation. Yeah. Yeah, if you think it should be the comma? Uh. Take your time, though. I'm thinking about it because I, you know, like my gut goes to period,
Starting point is 00:51:49 but period I feel like is finite, like it ends things. And I don't know if that's the vibe. There's something serious about a period that I don't enjoy for goof world. Jeff has picked what looks like a straightened out slash. It's called a pipe, I believe. It's like between a backslash and a forward slash.
Starting point is 00:52:07 Yeah, it's just like a big boner. I'm going to stick with the comma for now. Oh, Nick picked the butthole. Smart. Oh, they're smart. The asterisk. The asterisk is pretty good. Is that punctuation?
Starting point is 00:52:20 Hmm. Sure, why don't? I have to have a vote. Goofal. G was already punctuation, so I guess that can too. You know, whatever. I said anything on a keyboard. Did I?
Starting point is 00:52:31 Oh. Yes, the asterisk is considered a poxeration mark. Gavin, honestly, I don't know if you did. I just said that. You figure if you just lie to Gavin,
Starting point is 00:52:39 you can get away with it. You'll be all right. I just made a statement. I don't know. It was probably my fault. But I'm sticking with comma. Any other rules? Any other laws for goof world
Starting point is 00:52:48 that people need cleared up? We good? We good with this goof meeting? Goof Hall? I'm all good with it. Yeah, I think, yeah. Good with goof all. That's good.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and vary by race. Turns and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. slash Y-Amex. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure.
Starting point is 00:53:22 This fall get double points on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions Can I hold a small intervention for one of the cast of this podcast? Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:38 Shit, hold on a second. You haven't announced who it's about, right? No. Could be any of us. It could be. Anybody want to take any guesses on who it is? I always assume it's me. I assume it's you too, but the way he brought it up,
Starting point is 00:53:54 I don't think it is. I think he would have led right into you. Do you know what? you did? You don't have to say it, but do you know what the intervention's about? No, but I'm excited to find out. Interesting. Let me post a couple of pictures. Oh. Oh. Oh, not in that one. What are you doing? Where are you posting? Where are these going? We have Discord. No, no, it was in someone else's Discord. Yeah. All right, ready? I can't wait to see.
Starting point is 00:54:27 what you just posted in someone's Discord I'm gonna have to figure out how to delete that layer okay the intervention right click it don't tell them now you'll do it I can't even post okay I'm posting it in Slack
Starting point is 00:54:40 Jesus Christ Get your head in the game Can we have an intervention with him on how to post things I need Nitro Alright here we go Are you posted somewhere else General I would like to
Starting point is 00:54:55 have a word with Eric. Okay. Eric was right. Yeah. Post it! I'm waiting for these pictures still. Definitely sending.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Here we go. This is... Gavin, this is crazy. Okay. Yeah, these are burgers. Yeah. Eric is eating the most disgusting looking flat burgers that it makes me... It makes me not want to eat a burger.
Starting point is 00:55:19 So, you're putting me off. So they look like they're from the same place. They are. Which makes me think that that's their style and their smash burgers. I can have Nick's... stand up for me on this. Nick? Yeah. I got two burgers from Mad Burger. The place that Michael ordered
Starting point is 00:55:34 when he got us the sack of burgers at 100%. Oh, those those are sloppy, but they're good. They are so, so good. They are flat as hell. Those are singles. The doubles have a little bit more substance. Those are Mad burgers. Woo!
Starting point is 00:55:54 Sounds like a ghost kitchen. it's like a truck they all look wet and stepped on oh yeah yeah yeah and they're so good I will say they did
Starting point is 00:56:06 when I looked at the second photo of them and I saw that okay clearly this is a place that does that thing I did like to pretend that you were just
Starting point is 00:56:14 falling on your burgers like the subway sandwich guy and it's happened twice yeah yeah yeah because they do look like you fell on them yeah
Starting point is 00:56:23 did you by any chance guillotine these burgers before you ate them? You stumped them and rattle your balls on them? Yeah, I did it in a romper stomper and hurt my nuts. They are, Mad Burgers is so good, and it's my style of burger. I want a, like, sloppy smash burger. Oh, it's, oh, I love it.
Starting point is 00:56:44 I love that style of hamburger. You got to catch up, you got to get those numbers up, dude. Come on, Gavin. What's your style of a game? Have you ever had a smash burger, Gavin? Have I had one? Yeah. I've just seem I have.
Starting point is 00:56:54 you should like confirm that during this burger year you should try you should get mad burgers oh that's a fun idea don't we need the onion a car soon shouldn't we go get burgers yeah absolutely
Starting point is 00:57:08 yeah we're past the fucking deputy thing now we can get back to do another stuff in town we've gone short road trips I'm not even gonna get into it I'm not even gonna get into it yeah we do need to do that yeah we do need to do it
Starting point is 00:57:21 what is he not gonna get into have a look at the fuck schedule. Hold on a second. I'm looking. He's saying that Gavin has a work trip, so you can't do the onions. Oh, oh, right. Out, out.
Starting point is 00:57:37 That's it. He's out. Oh, he's out. Yeah. So, we do have to do it. And in a few weeks, I'm sure we will. That's why we're recording today the middle of September for the first day of October. Looks like we'll be doing that in October sometime, actually. Yes, sir.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Oh, a spooky flat burger. I hope that Gavin loves the mad burger And that it becomes your preferred I hope this flips on you in a way that like You're like fuck I Dude, it's so good Like it just becomes my thing It becomes your thing
Starting point is 00:58:07 I think that'd be the funniest option It looks too wet for me Next month when we all get together man I'll order some mad burgers I think this could flip the other way though On Eric where I like that Eric Has become a popcorn influencer For people having popcorn delivered to them
Starting point is 00:58:23 And just putting them up You are so in the wrong. There is an overwhelming majority there. Like, yeah, this is a totally normal thing. Or he's so against it. Yeah. It's ridiculous how many people, every time I've brought this up, or I'm like, oh, yeah, Scorpio's guy,
Starting point is 00:58:38 he just gets this popcorn to go. Everyone that I've brought this up to has gone like, oh, I've never done that, but it's a really good idea. And I'm like, what are you? Like, that's ridiculous. That's like getting popcorn, like, getting it delivered to you from like DoorDash or something. The people go, oh, that's a really good idea too.
Starting point is 00:58:52 That's, those aren't good ideas. those are bad ideas no it's great as Eric brought out it was a discussion on a different podcast that Eric works on creating character
Starting point is 00:59:03 creating character podcast yeah okay I keep getting influenced by it because somebody made a post in subreddit that you talked
Starting point is 00:59:13 about it and then I was like you know what popcorn at home sounds really good then you clipped it that discussion and I had it
Starting point is 00:59:20 randomly pop up on TikTok and so I ordered popcorn that weekend, which is the second time I've done it, did a movie night. It was delicious. But you bought the flavor cola,
Starting point is 00:59:34 whatever that stuff was cool, didn't you? Yeah, but I stopped using it once Eric established that you're supposed to use it in the cooking process and then it's not just the season. So instead of using it correctly, you stopped using it altogether. Yeah, because the whole point was that I could do popcorn from a desk.
Starting point is 00:59:52 I was looking to make popcorn. Why can't you do at your desk? Uh, cause I don't know if it would work with an air popper. I think it's, you have to have, like, a kettle situation. Well, it would put one of those at your desk? Isn't it air popped at the movie theater? Is it air popped at the movie theater? They put it in a giant metal basket and go, shag-ch-ch-ch-ch-chig-jigger. No, that's not air pop.
Starting point is 01:00:15 I think that's air pop. Yeah. No, I don't think it's air-pop. Yeah. Well, I won't use a hair dryer. Why don't you just get like a little electric, stove thing for your desk. I have too much
Starting point is 01:00:27 things on my desk. You do have too much things on your desk because you're spilling stuff on some of your things on your desk. Yeah, I'm in the process of, I've remodeled the desk twice and I'm going to have to do it again. I'm trying to add another monitor. What does that mean? You've remodeled the desk? Well,
Starting point is 01:00:43 maybe it was an overly fancy word to say I've taken stuff off the desk and then rearranged it. Yeah, I agree. That was an overly fancy word. Definitely. Yeah. I remodeled my bowels earlier when I took a shit
Starting point is 01:01:00 everybody's remodeling. So do you have any current pictures of your desk? Are we allowed to see the present day situation? Oh, I'm not. You trust this?
Starting point is 01:01:11 If he sent a picture of his desk, you would think it's his fucking desk? That's a good point. Like, he won't even send her, his cats. I like that we, he had that screenshot of him posting his cats on Twitter and someone replying to it
Starting point is 01:01:23 I think those are my cats. We haven't seen enough pictures of Andrew's world in a long time. We should figure out a way to get Andrew to send us a photo from his room every episode. It can just be a corner. It can be under the bed, just something, just something to give us a little bit of insight. I feel like his world is so mysterious to us in 2025. Yeah, why don't you give us something? What are you got there?
Starting point is 01:01:47 What can you show us now? I'm looking. It's not. It's not. What's too secret about the desk for today? What's too secret about the desk is that I'm in the process of rearranging a bunch of stuff. So my desk is unusually filled right now. Ooh, see, that sounds like a perfect time to send it to us, yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Yeah, because then you've got the excuse of like it's not a shithole. You're just in the middle of a renovation or remodel, as you said. So there'll be no judgment on our parts. Well, it's, it's, let me, I'll just, I'll tell you some of the things that are on my desk right now. I have the puzzle from the puzzle when we did the puzzle building race which we need to get back to yeah
Starting point is 01:02:27 then on top of that I have a deluxe edition a collection of immortality it is like a thing they sold that is a book about the game and all of the scripts from the movies in the game
Starting point is 01:02:42 like it's really it's awesome it's very cool was that a lost series for us uh yeah because we don't have that right it's let's play and it was on uh it was on rooster deat yeah that was fun and it's very cool i've had so many people reach out and say like i love that series and i had that experience with my friends it's it was very cool it's awesome than that connected with people the way it did uh i have that
Starting point is 01:03:05 i have a bag of tostitos corn chips next to it yum yeah uh and that's sort of uh i got a a cup i got a Gerpler. I got the Cosmic Gurp in front of me with some water. It's got a lot. We've got a lot of things going on here. Mark the Frog yesterday in my chat. They were asking about, you know, what we're going to do for the gurpler coming up the next gurpler
Starting point is 01:03:34 and I was like, you're going to love it. Don't worry about it. You're just going to like it. And Mark the frog said we should do next summer, we should do a bomb pop grubler. Yeah, bomb pop is good. That'd be pretty cool. I like him pop pop pop. I love a bomb pop. I will say, to go back to the popcorn. for a minute.
Starting point is 01:03:50 Please do. I thought that I could persuade Eric that this is actually a great thing. But I got foiled. The world doesn't work the way it used to. Because they, when you get a popcorn like that, so it was a buy one, get one. So I had two large popcorns.
Starting point is 01:04:07 And they put another bag of like another large bag over the popcorn so it doesn't spill. And I had the thought of when I was younger, they would do free refills on large bags of popcorn. And I thought, wait, then I just essentially get like five bags of popcorn by doing this?
Starting point is 01:04:28 I guess, it was the whole plan of like, I could take these, I could refill them, it'd be great. I could use this to my advantage. At that point, Eric, would you be pro this move? Pro just going and refilling the same popcorn over and over? If these were refillable bags. Does that change anything for you? Well, yeah, yeah, because you're not, yes,
Starting point is 01:04:52 my problem with the whole thing is that I think it's insane to pay like the 11-50 to walk in to get popcorn to walk out with the popcorn. Like, that's just crazy to me. That's the value is not there. Yeah, that's nuts. I get it. I feel like it's a Gavin take,
Starting point is 01:05:09 but I understand where you're coming from. Thanks. Because it's a flavor thing. But it turns out, that these movie theater bags, you can't just take them to get refilled whenever. It's like three hours
Starting point is 01:05:21 from the point of purchase is your window. Oh. How do they establish when you bought them? I don't know if it's like part of the receipt or what, but...
Starting point is 01:05:32 Is it like a kid's play area as a kid where you get like a dinosaur stamp and all the stegosaurus have to go home after two hours? I get, I don't... Yeah, I'm not sure how they track it just from my reading of it. It's like essentially
Starting point is 01:05:45 you have until the movie ends is sort of the idea to refill it. But I don't know if they police that. So maybe it's the works, but... I bet you could get around it. That does seem like an impossible life hack, though, to essentially buy popcorn once and then get free popcorn for the rest of your life.
Starting point is 01:06:02 Well, how much would you pay for a subscription to a bucket? And it's just free refills of popcorn whenever you want. Would you pay like 200 bucks a month for that? It's just a van. What are you saying? What the fuck? That was the number? That was the number out the gate?
Starting point is 01:06:19 Are you at your mind? The rest of development mom saying like here's $20 go buy to Apple. Like you just don't know how things cost. Yeah, but didn't you say it was like 30 bucks to get one bag delivered or something? No. It was the popcorn itself was, I think, $9.99. Okay. And then I got one for free.
Starting point is 01:06:41 And then delivery was probably, it's probably like $7. and then a $10 tip on top of that. So about 30 bucks? Yeah, so I guess like 30 bucks. Right? So wouldn't you say that $200 for the month is good value?
Starting point is 01:07:00 Are you doing this life hack six times, seven times a month? Well, no, here's the thing with this. Is it getting delivered every time? Yeah, it's just a van going around. The delivery is part of this subscription fee. Yeah, is a van going around constantly? And when you hit the button, you leave your bucket out, and then they fill it a popcorn.
Starting point is 01:07:18 No, I don't, I don't have as good as this sounds. I do not have $200 for a monthly popcorn subscription. $200 is outrageous. That's a $20 service. That's nuts. Eric, why is it outrageous if one attempt costs $30 bucks? Because you would have to, that's so many times of getting popcorn. I've done this now twice in my life, Gavin.
Starting point is 01:07:43 Yeah, no, I know. But if you watch more than six movies But he's also buying popcorn In the most expensive way possible Yeah Yeah Like he's going out of his way To spend more money on popcorn
Starting point is 01:07:56 Than a person needs to By doing it this way Alamo Draft House has a $20 season pass So you can see as many movies in a month That you can see one movie a day Every day in a month For $20. Yeah
Starting point is 01:08:11 It is cheaper than if I were to go see a movie at the theater and a drink so in a sense I'm saving well Eric it's different because they make money on the food there and also they don't drive the new movie and set it up at your house
Starting point is 01:08:27 you still have to go there and buy food I think $200 is I think $200 is crazy I think it's crazy I think it's crazy it's crazy but it's not it's crazy because you're ordering freaking movie popcorn at home that is crazy but I'd say for the value it's not that bad.
Starting point is 01:08:45 It's about the experience. Gavin, I think it's crazy and I think you're crazy. How much would you pay for an infinite refill of popcorn in a bucket for a month? $20. $20. Yeah, $20. But how would that operate as a business? It's a bad business.
Starting point is 01:09:00 I think you're crazy. I like this version of Shark Tank where you go up to the sharks and you say how much would you pay for it? And then they tell you and then you tell them that doesn't work for the business. You start yelling at them, you start yelling and saying, how would that work? I'm not out here defending the $200 as great. I'm saying the actual entire thing is stupid. You surely couldn't charge less than $200 for that. What, you guys want a business to fail?
Starting point is 01:09:34 You can potentially order 30 popcorns for 200 bucks, Delivered to your house from the movie theater It's tremendous value The idea is stupid Not the price I thank you, I'm out The price is atrocious The price is atrocious
Starting point is 01:09:50 The price is stupid That's why I've done it twice in my life One person subscribes to your service And it funds all the popcorn You have to buy as the manufacturer For the entire year You get a movie theater popcorn Delivered to your bucket
Starting point is 01:10:04 For like six bucks And you have to go anywhere Now it's $6? You speak of my language. $6 seems like it's worth it. If you did it every day, it'd be $6, wouldn't it? About, well, six and a half? Are you eating a bucket of popcorn every day?
Starting point is 01:10:21 How long past the first month are you going to live, do you think? Yeah, I don't. I don't want to do this. I think part of the joy of the movie theater popcorn experience is it's not constant. It's a delight. It is a delight. Yeah. And I think you can make the case that if,
Starting point is 01:10:38 let's say my $30 popcorn thing I'm not paying ticket prices for a movie I'm doing a movie at home not paying drink prices it's outrageous price for popcorn specifically but if you turn it into a movie type night
Starting point is 01:10:53 as opposed to going to the theater I think it financially is probably a little bit cheaper I play but I wouldn't want to spend $200 is insane yeah $200 is insane you're crazy I agree with you
Starting point is 01:11:08 The next time we do a Sloppy Joe's Bingo or like a big long live stream at work eventized live stream we should order movie theater popcorn Nick is so in
Starting point is 01:11:21 like well he saw that he saw that coming as soon as you started that sentence he saw that coming down the road and got ramped up yeah you did let's do hey when can we do the next one
Starting point is 01:11:31 I mean I'm sure we'll do a sloppy Joe's in October for Fantasy Week and Halloween and all that stuff. It's not like we have any time in September, so it's fine, yeah. Eric, what about $200 a month, right? Okay. You get a nice, fresh.
Starting point is 01:11:45 The worst million dollars but ever. $200, but. You get a lovely, you get a lovely hot coffee at your doorstep every morning. Oh. $200? How big? The size of the coffee is the thing that you're, what size makes it worth it to you, Nick? Big gulp.
Starting point is 01:12:10 This guy's insane. This guy's fucking crazy. I mean, for money, yeah. No, I wouldn't want a $200 coffee subscription. But you probably pay that anyway. Do I? Don't you get coffee like every day from places? I grind my own beans and make my own coffee every day.
Starting point is 01:12:34 I don't buy coffee. I don't. The last time I bought coffee. Coffee was probably over a week ago. Bad play. You know what? Bad play. I mean, I do the same.
Starting point is 01:12:43 You didn't buy a coffee Monday when you came into the office for break show? Oh, I did, right? As I was walking out, you're right. Yeah. Yeah, I saw you go in. Oh. Oh, you're right.
Starting point is 01:12:53 He's talking Mr. Full of shit. He probably, but, to be fair, I think he probably played like five bucks for it or something. Yeah, that's fair. Not $6.50, which is what this would cost. Yeah. Yeah. Got you there, Gavin.
Starting point is 01:13:04 Yeah, take that. Yeah, I mean, you get to go dry. So anyway, you got a bad, bad business ideas, Gavin. I don't think they're very good. Jeff, take us out. Before we get take it out, just really quickly. It's a very quick thing. I just am curious, not Gavin, Eric, how do you feel about Simon Sess?
Starting point is 01:13:22 What? How do I feel about Simon says? Yeah, what are your opinions on Simon says? I don't know, I guess I guess I'm okay with it. Why? Wow, okay. I assumed you'd hate it. No, I mean, like, it's not like I love it.
Starting point is 01:13:35 It's like, I don't think I could give it more than any kind of like, yeah, okay, sure. Like, there is a side quest in Borderlands 4 that is just a continuous series of playing Simon says. And I thought, Eric, will fucking hate this. Oh, I'm not going to love that in that game. I don't play that game with sound on. How are they? How am I? I'm not going to be able to beat this side quest. I don't, I listen to other stuff will play.
Starting point is 01:13:59 I don't want to listen to this video game. This is, oh, my God. Oh, no. I just, as someone who has such a deep passion. of hatred for board games. I assume that Simon says would be an even deeper level of hate. No, it's just, it's like
Starting point is 01:14:13 it's fine because it feels like an eye spy type situation where, you know, it's outside of a board and I can't do that. How are you how do you, where do you land on heads up seven up? You can look at the shoe of the person when they come and tap you. So you got them. You got them dead to rights.
Starting point is 01:14:30 What do you, where do you, how do you feel about Red Rover? Oh, send me on over, baby. I'm bumping. blasting through that line. What's seven-up heads-up? Heads-up, seven-up? Yeah, I was, sorry, yeah, wasn't it? If you ever played that game?
Starting point is 01:14:44 How's it go? It's kind of like duck, duck, goose. Yeah, everyone puts their head down, and then there's, like, three people or whatever that come over and tap random people on the shoulder, and if you get picked, you have to stand up and say, like, oh, I think Gavin tapped me, and then they're like, no, it wasn't, that's the whole game.
Starting point is 01:15:03 Like, thinking about it, that's the whole game. How do you feel about it? Chicago Shootout. That's not real. Chicago Shootout is not real. Stop talking about Chicago Shootout. It's not real. I just got really bummed out.
Starting point is 01:15:17 Why? Why? I realize I'm probably never going to play Duck, Duck Goose again. We get duck, duck, duck, goose. You want to duck, duck goose? I just feel like I didn't play enough of it as a kid. Now, think about it. We all get in the office.
Starting point is 01:15:28 We order movie theater popcorn. We play Duck, Doug Goose. Andrew chases us with the robot. It's what a day. I mean, sounds like our next big live stream event and you can help support us by listening to more episodes of the Regulation podcast.
Starting point is 01:15:46 Checking out our Patreon. Go to Regulatrion.com if you want to find out more info about what we do. Video game playthroughs, supplementals, drafts, podcasts, live action event. We do it all.
Starting point is 01:16:00 We don't give a fuck. We just do stuff. And we hope you'll like it. And maybe you will if you'll check it out. Thank you for. for listening to another episode of the Regulation Podcast and I'll leave you with this. You get a million dollars, right?
Starting point is 01:16:11 Mm-hmm. But you get every red light for the rest of your life. Oh, no fucking shot. Absolutely not. No, no, never. No-uh. Sure. What? You don't drive. Bye-bye. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:16:26 I think it's actually funny to say yes and not drive because then you're just burdening Uber drivers and they don't think they're having the worst run of their lives. Honestly, poor Mae. Pretty funny. Poor, poor Meg. Yeah, to complain.
Starting point is 01:16:39 Gavin, above all, other people should say yes to this. Yeah, let me know what you just said yes to and let us know what she said. I'd do that for 200 a week. What?

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