F**kface - Gum Was a Much Bigger Deal // Have Either of You Ever Been in a Pyramid Scheme [20]

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about not being a baseball podcast, Chael Sonnen, Garfield times getting beat, and more. Buy the red F**k hat shirt: http://bit.ly/RedFshirt. On World Mental Health Day our Discord started a raffle supporting Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. Every $10 donated enters you into a draw for this hat. To enter follow this: 1. Donate https://bit.ly/2GVbUdv 2. Screenshot the donation 3. Email it to [e-mail] with your Twitter handle Ends October 18 Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face) and Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. Hey, this is Andrew. Sorry to interrupt the intro once again, but I'm here to promote a charitable raffle for an original fucked up fuckhat. This past Saturday was World Mental Health Day, which is something that is incredibly important to me, as I know it is for so many of you. To celebrate this, myself and Juliet, who's a moderator on our podcast Discord, have put together a raffle in which through a minimum of a $10 donation to the Center for Addictions and Mental Health, also known as CAMH, you'll be entered to become the first winner of a black fucked up fuckhat.

Entering the raffle is incredibly easy. All you have to do is do the following steps. Step 1. Go to CAMH.ca and click the donate button in the top right. Every $10 you donate counts as one entry, so a $20 donation would be worth two. Step two, after making your donation, screenshot proof of it. Step three, email the screenshot to fhattraffle at gmail.com. Alongside the screenshot, please include a social media handle that'll be used to reach you if you win. Once again, the email has no spaces and is fhattraffle at gmail.com. That's fhattraffle at gmail.com. It also is important to state that if you do win, you must be able to provide some form of shipping address. Entries are open to this

regardless of where you live, so if you're in a distant part of the world, feel free to participate if you want. A winner will be drawn on October 18th, so every entry submitted today, which is Wednesday, October 14th, until this upcoming Sunday will be counted. CAMH is the largest mental health teaching hospital in Canada and are innovators in both research and care. They're an incredible organization that deserve your support, so if you're in a position to do so, please consider donating. If you have any questions or are unclear about any of this, you can find a link to tweets that provide more info in the description of the episode. Thank you so much for your time and attention. Enjoy the show. Gavin's here one minute early. That's a little inconvenient of him pretty inconvenient little

inconsiderate who's tight to the top it was a whole thing it was a whole thing you missed it you had to be there it was very funny that being said gavin andrew and i came up with an idea that's going to be a bit some point in the future of face and i don't know that we'll tell you about it but know that there's a very funny bit coming sometime in the next three of face and i don't know that we'll tell you about it but know that there's a very funny bit coming sometime in the next three years holy shit i can't wait jeff that's your reaction i can't wait with everything that's happened on this show i'm excited oh i should oh oh i'm not saying it's bad i'm just saying like you and i have different reactions to unexpected bits or or things that we know might be coming but aren't? I just feel like it can't be worse than anything else.

What does that mean? What's your bar? What's the bar for anything else? Well, I don't know. Look at the world. Okay. No, that's fair. In that context, you're right.

It's not going to be that bad. Man, Gav. Now that Boston has left the NBA playoffs and they cease to exist until the new season starts in January or whenever, I realize I can't talk to Andrew anymore. Because you disagree? No, we're going to have to go back to no communication. I texted him last night and I had something I wanted to say to him and I couldn't remember what it was. And I texted him and I was like, hey, dude, you around? And then I checked back like 10 minutes

later and I had forgotten what I was going to say. And I was like, oh, never mind. I can't remember what I was going to say. And then he was, ah, nevermind. I can't remember what I was going to say. And, uh, and then he was like, is this a bit, are you doing a bit? And I was like, I don't think so. I can't remember what I was going to say. So I guess it could have been a bit, but I don't think I'm certainly not doing a bit now, but he doesn't, he wouldn't believe me. And then I was confused as to whether he was doing a bit. And now it's just like, I just got to wash my hands of the whole thing. Are you saying that in order to start a text conversation with someone, you don't just type the thing? You say, hello, like, are you there first?

No. Yeah. No, you didn't do it. It was something specific to the show, which then made me suspicious later. I don't remember what the exact wording was, but it was a question in regards to today. Well, all right, I'm just going to pull it up. I think it was like,'re ready for tomorrow or something. And I didn't.

I was like, yeah, of course. Oh, yeah, yeah. I texted him. I said, hey, are you ready to record tomorrow? And he said, of course. It's my favorite part of the week. I love you. You're my favorite person on Earth.

Please don't tell Gavin. Some of that is true. While I'm not myself attracted to men, I do find you very attractive, which I thought was a strange thing for him to say. But I was like, cool, man. Appreciate it. I think you're great, too. And he said, no, no, I mean it. I really mean it. You're sexy. And I do find you very attractive, which I thought was a strange thing for him to say, but I was like, cool, man, appreciate it. I think you're great too. And he said,

no, no, I mean it. I really mean it. You're sexy. And I said, yeah, yeah.

And, uh, and then I said, anyway, sorry, I forgot what I asked you. I, I,

and I was like, that's lame. I asked you, I was gonna, I, I hit you up like 90 seconds ago to ask you a question. I can't believe I forgot already. And then he,

uh, then he lost his mind. I don't think I lost my mind. I just, I was, I brought up a level of concern. It's very odd to forget something 90 seconds later that is so specific. Like you had no clue or you appeared to at least have no clue, which makes no sense.

I really don't. I really don't. That's up 45, dude. My brain years are behind me. Although I will say I'm pretty jazzed about my idea to make little baseball bats that say f*** face on them. That's a bad idea. It's the best idea ever.

Why? Why would we do that? The cute little baseball bats that you get at the game. And then on the bottom, they say **** face instead of with our logo. Do you realize that this isn't actually a baseball podcast? Yeah, but it's called **** face because of a Billy Ripken **** face baseball bat. It's maybe like 1% baseball. It's 99% not baseball.

Yeah, but that's a great gift. Yeah, you want to sell baseball cards, baseball, baseball bats, a jersey. I don't care about a jersey. Who said jersey? I don't know. I'm just adding. Listen, if you want to sell a jersey, I think it's a great idea.

We'll sell a jersey, Gavin. I think little tiny baseball bats with the f*** Face logo on the bottom where Billy Ripken wrote Foo Face would be, that would be a delight. We make a hundred of them, we'll sell them,

it'll become a great thing. I think Andrew's afraid people are going to beat him to death with them. Yeah, I was going to say, I've never seen someone pitch something so excitedly that would arm the audience. It just seems like a terrible idea. I don't know why we'd do it.

Did you intro this, by the way, before I got here? Oh, no, we didn't. We, uh, I don't think, somebody sent me a whole thing about how I was wrong about the no punting thing. So maybe I need to adjust my position on intros. What was the no punting thing? I said that, or always punt. The reversal of what I just said is what I meant, that you should always punt.

But I guess that's flawed data based on high school games. So I don't know. Does that actually apply to whether we need an intro or not, though? My point was that people do things because it's the standard and not because it makes sense on occasion. I understand your point. It's like the granny shot. It's a way better free throw statistically.

And just the physics of the granny shot make way more sense. It has a higher probability of going in, but nobody does it because it looks dumb. Yeah, because athletes still want to get laid at the end of the day. That's the problem. My point is that there's a better way to do a thing that people don't do because it's the standard is to shoot the other way. What's the coolest thing you've done? When I was 27, I yeah, I was about 26 or 27. I started a global phenomenon phenomenon new media production company. That's pretty cool. When I was like seven, I won a bunch of tickets in an arcade and I like got banned from the

arcade. It was great. Wow. Really? You won them legitimately? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, well, sort of.

I kind of they had this one machine where you'd like put the token and it would go down a ramp. And depending on where it landed on the ramp ramp you'd get a certain number of tickets and I realized if you tilted it a certain way you would always get 150 tickets so that's all I did I just killed them on this ramp game and then they had this claw machine where you could like go in and pick up these massive like stacks of tickets nobody had ever won it before I'm the first person to have ever won anything from that machine and they didn't know what to do with me I got like an alarm clock I got six board games I Nobody had ever won it before. I'm the first person to have ever won anything from that machine. And they didn't know what to do with me.

I got like an alarm clock. I got six board games. I cleaned them out. That's awesome. I may have told this on the Rooster Teeth podcast years ago, but I think the coolest thing I've ever done still to this day, I was about 16 or something. I was in Tenerife, one of the Canary Islands,

and a bunch of sort of holiday friends and I were all together. And I was just kind of sat on a rock. And a few of them were trying to throw a stone into this tiny hole, like way up on the side of the cliff. We were like down on a beach and there's like a hole in the cliff up above. And they were honestly trying to throw a stone into this hole for about maybe two and a half, three hours. And people were like winging the side, not really. No one was really close.

And there was this plastic chair that was someone had smashed to pieces and i just strolled up after like almost three hours to be like i'm sick of this i'm just gonna throw a stone in this and be done with it i put a stone like in the plastic leg of the chair like in the channel and i did like a 360 spin and did like a high lie whip with this stone and it shot hundreds of feet straight into this hole and to this day I don't think I've ever been so impressive I think the

moral of the story is Gavin and I are way cooler no totally the only other thing I could say is uh one time I bought a when I was a kid gum was a bigger deal when I was a kid like all the gum now but dudes and ladies are people my age will agree with me in the 80s gum was a much bigger deal like big league chew

hubba bubba bubble yum bubblicious it was always on tv they were wild there was always like mango strawberries and banana cherry and there were all these crazy flavors now it's just like fucking some flavor experiment or cinnamon to make you fucking breath feel better or whatever but there was there's a pizzazz the the hate the golden era of of gum as a kid is over you i defy you to go buy like a six pack of hubba bubba with wacky flavors now you can't do it you can't go buy root beer-flavored Bubblicious. When I was a kid, that shit was the shit. So one time I bought a pack of Hubba Bubba,

and there was like a national... Do you guys know what the GoBots are? No. By name, I do. Okay. Do you know what Transformers are? Yeah. Yes.

GoBots were the competitor to Transformers in the 80s. They had a cartoon. It was very popular. It was shitty. It wasn't as good as Transformers. It was like the poor man's Transformers, right? But they had some cool shit. Anyway, so there was like a GoBots competition where you could like enter in in the Hubba

Bubba and then if you win, I don't know, you win some GoBots or some shit. And I won first place. I entered in and I won first place in the Hubba Bubbaba go bots thing was it just like a submission yeah and i got a free like four months later in the mail i got a free go bot how much is a go bot worth oh i don't think it was worth a lot um like 10 bucks i don't know okay it was a big deal to me it was the only thing i ever won that was the coolest thing you did that's probably the coolest thing coolest thing i've ever i was kidding about the roostie thing roostie's's probably the coolest thing. Coolest thing I've ever... I was kidding about the Rooster Teeth thing. Rooster Teeth is one of the nerdier things I've ever done.

Also, you didn't really just stroll up and start Rooster Teeth. It was more of a years-long process. It'd be funny if you could stand in front of a girl and be like, watch this, and then you start a company. It's like in Animal Crossing when you go to the DIY bench. It's like... Here Crossing when you go to the DIY bench. Here's a 400-employee company. I think maybe I told this story on an RT podcast years ago,

but when I lived in Jacksonville, Florida, I was maybe 10. All the kids in the summer would meet at this one kid's house, and we would all go ride bikes or throw rocks at each other or whatever. They're two kind of different things there. Well, you didn't grow up in Florida in the eighties.

Uh, back when gum was cool, back when gum was fucking cool. So one day I went over and all the kids were already there and they had this, we had this huge, like six, maybe seven foot tall quarter pipe that one of the kids, older brothers made.

And they would like, it was too big for us to skateboard on because we were fucking shitty or too big to drop in on we would skateboard on it but not drop in on anyway all the kids were standing around and on their bikes and i go hey what are you guys doing and they go oh we all just jumped this ramp and i went on what and they're like on our bikes and i was like but it's got like a foot of vert how did you do it and they're like we went down the industry and got going really fast and did it and i was like wow sorry i missed that and they're like yeah you really did miss it it was really cool and we're all really cool and and uh you're a pussy if you don't do it and i was like

you know use the parlance of the 80s and i go excuse me and they're like yeah every one of us they're like even fucking that kid did it i don't even remember who that kid was but and uh and i was like oh and they're like yeah yeah, you're, you're like, basically you can't hang out with us if you don't do it. You're like, cause we're all in the club now and you're not cool until unless you do it. Did you pull Andrew and you're like, I did it.

I already did it. No, I was like, I was like, uh, fucking feeling the vice grip of peer pressure. And I was like, okay,

I guess I'll do it. How far back should I go on my bike? And they're like, uh, it takes a lot. Go, go, go down the end of the street. So I went I go on my bike? And they're like, it takes a lot. Go down the end of the street. So I went all the way down to the end of the street, which was, by the way, my house. My house was at the end of the street. And I turned around and I rode my bike and I thought, this is not a good idea, but what choice do I have? I won't have any friends if I

don't do this. The whole neighborhood did it. I'll be the only kid in the neighborhood who didn't jump the ramp. The sweet old lady next door, she's already done it. Yeah, she's already done it. Yeah. And so I got him a little BMX and I pedaled my ass off and I went as far as I could at this thing. And I just, I'll be honest with you. I closed my eyes and I hit the ramp and my eyes squeezed entirely like super shut. And I hit this like seven foot tall quarter pipe and I felt the sensation of being in

the air and my stomach dropping and then I heard kabam kabam and I opened my eyes and there was nothing but smoke and white around me and I swear to god I thought oh no I died now I'm in heaven because I just saw white clouds and all I could see was white clouds and for like four four seconds, I was like, I'm dead. The ramp killed me and I'm in heaven. And I'm looking around like, what the fuck? I'm dead. I'm in like, is this purgatory? Like, where do I go? And the smoke cleared away. And I realized what happened was I launched so high and so far into the air and I came up, I basically, I leveled out and then I came straight down seven feet, popped both of my tires, I leveled out and then I came straight down seven feet, popped both of my tires, which created both front and back tires just exploded.

There was tons of just fucking debris and smoke, I guess, from that. I don't know. And dust from it being Florida. And I just assumed that I had died because my eyes were closed and I didn't see what happened. And all the kids had their fucking jaws open. And I was like, am I alive? The coolest thing to say. And they're like, oh my open. And I was like, am I alive? The coolest thing to say.

And they're like, oh my God. And I'm like, what? And they're like, I can't believe you did it. And I'm like, well, of course I did it. You guys did it. I didn't have a choice. And they're like, no, no, no. We were all too scared to do it.

Nobody would do it. We just thought we could trick you into doing it. And I was like, oh. And then for that summer, I was the coolest kid on the street. I mean, that is the best outcome for them. Like they watched you just ride away from them. And then there was an explosion. Yeah.

And then I didn't have a bike for like a month because I didn't have tires. I had to get my mom to take me to the store and she was not about it. I like that for once you were really popular, but you couldn't go and hang out with them because your bike was gone. Yeah, because my bike was useless.

That same fucking bike one time I was riding it and the day I got a Walkman for my birthday, I got my first Walkman and my first tape. The tape was John Cougar, American Fool. And so I was listening to Jack and Diane riding my bike, going as fast as I could with my headphones on. And the handlebars came

off and I fell forward and drove over myself and smashed the day I got it on my birthday, smashed my Walkman. Same bike. I appreciate that all three of our coolest moment stories are essentially an accident. It was a thing we didn't mean to pull off, but it happened. There's no skill involved.

Just a gullibility and luck. Yes. The most important of things. Hey, what's up? It's Jeff. I recommend, these are my words, by the way, The Social Dilemma on Netflix. Why, do you ask? Well, in the documentary, tech insiders explain how social media is engineered to exploit

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hellotushy.com slash face. So what's new in y'all's week since last we spoke? I made an NFL bet like two weeks ago. That was almost the worst thing. This is your big financial calamity, right? Yeah, it was a calamity. Oh, okay. So there's this football pool I play in sometimes,

and you have to guess who will win the games. And if you get every game right, you win whatever the pool is. Is this why you were crying the other day? Yes. Yes, it was. Okay. And so I thought, oh, I'll go in this right now. Whatever. It's 2 a.m. I'll just make a card.

It's like a $95,000 pool, which is way more than what it typically is. I'll enter this. I feel really good. I thought about my picks. I made my card, submitted it, and then I was showing it to Eric the next day, and when I was showing it to Eric, I realized I picked the opposite of what I wanted on one of the spaces, and it was

like the worst team, the worst team in that area. Like it was by far the biggest underdog pick I could make. So my card was essentially useless. But then I was in this dilemma of, well, do I buy a new card just to be wrong? Because I'm almost certainly not going to win this. Or do I just live with it? Whatever. What are the odds that I get the card right except for that one pick? And then as the games progressed, every single miracle in football happened that weekend and it kept making my card win. It's the only time I never win ever. It's the, but every time I was unstoppable, I was on a winning streak. Every game was turning my way on side kicks, getting recovered. That never happens. Just crazy comes backs it was ridiculous but every time they won it just hurt more it's the only time in my life where winning was extremely painful

with every game and it came down to the final game which was uh the raiders versus the saints and the saints were projected to blow out the uh the raiders but they lost and so i didn't have to live with the fact that i would have lost whatever money that card would win what would it have won you turns out it was only like a thousand dollars oh okay 800 maybe like it wasn't life-changing money but I didn't know that at the time so that many other people got it right too yeah I think like 70 people got it right under the assumption the Raiders would win which is was rare so you'd have to think it'd probably be like doubled what they won if the saints won so even less but yeah it was just miserable i've never been so happy to be a loser

like i was just cheering non-stop that the bet i made completely failed it's the happiest i've been i don't know if i could have watched football if the saints wouldn't won that game what would you have done if it was like you were going to get the entire pool and you lost because of that error if what if you lost like 90 grand i would have just i i would have i don't know what i would have done i would have walked the streets aimlessly i probably would have cried in a mcdonald's at one point there'd be a lot of soul searching i don't think i could watch football ever again i would be a changed person you'd wipe the tears away with your favorite carrot muffin i feel like that we need to prevent this kind of thing from happening at all costs because the more damaged you get as a person andrew the more

dangerous you become to everyone else yeah so it's really good for all of us that i think it's actually reverse i don't want to do anything if i'm sad i think the happier i am the more i want to fuck with everybody i think it's flipped andrew you made me sad for the first time on F*** Face. I got bummed out. Yeah, me too. Why is that a sad thing? That was just so real, wasn't it? Yeah, it's real. I wonder what you mean. Andrew, I wish I could hug you right now.

I didn't know that was a sad thing. That was really sad. No, I'm saying that I get joy in doing pranks and messing with people. So if I was miserable, i wouldn't have that joy so why would i do those things yeah i just was imagining you just completely without purpose crying in a mcdonald's that may or may not have had a basement like a nerdy little lex luther no that was i apologize that was meant to be a sad thing you don't have to apologize apologize for being sad i didn't think that was a sad thing i feel like reverse i feel like if

anything that was supposed to be like I'm an asshole because I enjoy Messing with you guys well, maybe in that case you can put a disclaimer on the front of this episode be like look guys I'm a prick. I'm an ass. Yeah That's a great idea actually While Luigi's my god I worship him that was an interesting back away from the heel role that you took I feel like yeah Yeah, what do you mean? You know you were doing a good job of being a heel yeah? But I know it's I mean it's complicated like there were I had honestly never heard the word Gaslighting before until after that came out

I just thought it was I was so wrong like to be so clearly in the wrong and to deny It was so absurd that it was funny But I'd never heard of gaslighting or any of that stuff and i think it weirdly tapped into like political feelings people have which is more of a sad statement of what's happening in politics but yeah no i just i had a blind spot for that i didn't realize until you showed me the clip that it was based on that ufc guy that you said was just denying his own voice yeah it, it was a dumb joke. Like, it's a UFC reference from 2010 that nobody remembers.

This person said a horrible statement that Lance Armstrong gave himself cancer by taking steroids. And then he was called on it, and he refused that he ever said it. And then he went on a radio show, and the person said, well, we have the clip. We'd like to play you the clip. Could you you respond to this and they play it and it is so clearly him like it's undeniably him it is and as soon as they go back to him he says that sounds nothing like me you need to get the callers in here not a single one of them will think that

that is my voice that person sounds like they're a different ethnicity that's not me at all he was like no definitely not me no that's clearly like a hispanic ethnicity. That's not me at all. He was like, nah, definitely not me. That's clearly like a Hispanic voice. And it's just exactly the same voice that's currently talking. Who was that that did it? Chael Sonnen. It was like a massive troll in MMA. But the absurdity of the denial, I always thought was hilarious.

So when Gavin presented me the audio, which is so clearly me, it's just where my brain immediately went. It was very funny. How about you, Gavin? You drop any water bottles or anything this week? No, I'm still wearing the shorts. I realized that I smashed the spare button. So all good on the shorts front.

Oh, that's nice. Thanks for asking that. Yeah, I'm similarly. I've had a very faceless week. I even did the the root canal was fine. No, no pain or nothing. It's great. So you're sorted now? No, I gotta

go back. I gotta go back in three weeks to get my crown put on. I still have a temporary tooth over the root canal. I expect it to be eight weeks long. I don't remember every procedure you said, but when you explained to us in the past what you needed done, it felt like at least eight

weeks of continuous work. By the time I get it on, it'll be like a three-month ordeal from start to finish, I think. I just realized when I brought up earlier whether or not we'd done the intro, like 15 minutes into the episode. No, we didn't do it. It didn't even cause the intro to happen there. No.

No, I give up fighting. Andrew beat me down. But he said he was wrong. Yeah, I agree. I was saying that I shouldn't have done that. That I was wrong about the intro. I agree you were wrong about it, but you beat it out of me now. It's up to you. If you guys want to do. Yeah, I agree. I was saying that I shouldn't have done that. That I was wrong about the intro. I agree you were wrong about it, but you beat it out of me now. It's up to you. If you guys want to do an intro, go ahead.

I mean, there's no point in that word. Well, I agree. What's the point? Geoff, did you cycle through a face intersection this week? What'd you call that thing where the ghost laid you down? Oh, the gentle? I got haunted by a gentle ghost? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, on the bike. Oh, did I go through that about? Yeah, on the bike.

Oh, did I go through that intersection? Yeah, I went through this morning. Any supernatural activity? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. I even rode by your house two days ago. Okay. Seemed fine.

Okay. I didn't stop by or anything. Just wanted to mention, you appear to still live there. Congratulations. I do, yeah. Yeah, no, I've been through that intersection a ton of times since then. oh i don't know 12 times since that last recording nothing no i i have a thing i have a thing to talk about i forgot about this okay i was wrong i need to admit i was wrong about something oh god we had our big fruit bag conversation yesterday or not yesterday last episode jesus not yesterday fruit bag we had an argument about is it a container is it not a

container and i tweeted it out and i said there's zero chance a single person calls this the Jesus, not yesterday. Fruit bag. We had an argument about is it a container? Is it not a container? And I tweeted it out and I said there's zero chance a single person calls this a container and someone did. You were right. I was wrong. Gav. Gav. What do we do?

Wait. Andrew, what do you think has happened here? I don't know. This is alarming though. I don't like this. What happened? Tell them, Jeff. Well, it's possible that we posted the image on the instagram account

and in the comments gavin might have with some leading comments encouraged people to use to put those words together didn't you as well it's possible i did as well but we're not talking about you it's not it's it's possible i did it first let me find the post while you took while you tell it so now i can't confirm that they got the word container in their head because it's once again possible i said fruit container and it's possible gavin said container we don't know for sure that that that person read that and then uh transpose that over to you but you know uh the timeline that adds up pretty well so the image was posted jeff immediately commented it's probably like the second comment looks like some sort of fruit container to me i i was like the fifth comment and i wrote well

it's containing the fruit fruit container and then i think that has then spread onto twitter and then you screenshot the twitter thing and you're like well i'll be damned i will say i did press this person on why they said container and if they got it from youtube they did not break wow i'm impressed that's great i asked what region they were from because i thought maybe this is a weird regional thing and what made them say that and it just i it felt like they were just trying to make a joke but if they got it from YouTube they did not indicate that in any way on a similar line did you see what Jeff found in his book that's true I texted you guys a picture today from the book I'm reading the new Robert Galbraith book

oh I changed my number so I didn't see that why are you fucking serious yeah I changed my number so I didn't see that. Why? Are you fucking serious? Yeah I changed my number I don't know where that went. Why didn't you tell us? I probably should have. So you've got multiple numbers, multiple slacks, multiple emails how do we ever know if you're seeing anything we write? I only have like one real phone number I just I changed it recently

and uh So the number I text you all the time isn't you anymore? Oh no. Does that mean you missed the last couple of farts as well? What farts? Oh, I'm trying to find out. I'm scrolling back to see when was the last time Andrew responded from this number.

It's been a little bit. You've done it again! You know, I actually thought about yesterday should I text them that I changed my number and I said yes, much like the intro I was like, yeah, it's a good idea that I just kept about yesterday, should I text them that I changed my number? And I said, yes, much like the intro. I was like, yeah, it's a good idea that I just kept on moving, moved on right by that thought. August, end of August. Yeah, it's been like a week, maybe.

It hasn't been that long. The last thing you said was my legal defense discord is like if the Farrelly brothers tried to write a John Grisham novel. Yeah, that's factually correct. I texted to Gavin and the person that got your number. Am I still, I'm in the comfort, here. An excerpt from a book I'm reading. Wait, can you find it, Andrew? Is it in our group chat?

Yeah. I'm just gonna test. If not, I can paste it into the Discord and you can read it. Wait, did a new number just get added? No. Oh, I'm still in here. This is weird.

It's like I'm in my own thing now, but it still shows I got a new one now. So this is now you. This is now me. Okay, so Jeff, send him the picture on that one. Anyway, it's a page from the new Robert Galbraith novel, Troubled Blood, which is supposedly a little controversial, a little problematic, but I haven't

gotten to that part yet. Robin Ellicott is referring to spending the night in a hotel. She wasn't planning on it. So all she had with her was her backpack. So she didn't have stuff like her toothbrush and whatnot. So she feels a little dirty. I'm not setting some some. You want some color to this?

So she said her backpack contained only what items she carried on her surveillance job. Item number one, a beanie hat. I said I was willing to admit I was wrong on that. I just I feel like all hats have a hard brim of some kind. Maybe this is the proof that I am definitely wrong. I was less confident about that one. I was more,

I feel very strongly a container has a lid, but the beanie not being a hat, I'm less serious about. What's a bag with a lid then? It's not, what do you mean? Have you ever seen a bag with a lid? You're talking not, what do you mean? What is a bag? Have you ever seen a bag with a lid? You're talking about a seal.

No, imagine like one of those plastic tubs you get, like a small crate with a lid, right? Imagine you got the lid, you got the rim, and then everything below that is a bag. What's that? That doesn't exist. That's what that is. What are you talking about? It's not a thing. But what would it be?

It would be a container because it's it's has a lid okay so that's that's what qualifies it all right so andrew i have a question because you're not on instagram then no i'm not that's correct uh someone has been uh sending uh instagram posts beating your garfield times no way apparently and i wish i had it to show it to you because the last one i saw but i guess, but I guess it disappears after 24 hours if it's in your story or whatever. It said, I have beaten all of the times, but I left one for Andrew

so that he can still have some dignity. But Lasagna Mountain got a lot smaller for him. I own Garfield now. Have you not checked your times lately? Have either of you been in a pyramid scheme? I'm just asking. That's a natural pivot. I definitely have things to say

about Garfield. My response to the Garfield thing is good job to that person. It's tough being on top of Lasagna Mountain. If anything, it's a relief. I'm glad I'm no longer there, but I argue that the bullshit of I gave them one time to feel good about themselves, that's the fastest fucking time

on the planet. That's why they didn't beat it. It wasn't a pity move. I feel like you're a little crushed about losing all these Garfield times. Like, you were on this for months. Were you aware of it before this moment? Yes, I was. Okay, I didn't figure it'd be possible for you to be ignorant of the fact that so

many of your times had been beaten so thoroughly. Were you hoping, Andrew, that we wouldn't find out and that we wouldn't think you were less impressive than you used to be? No, in all honesty, I learned this yesterday because I'm not on Instagram, but somebody mentioned it to me and I said, what are you talking about? The throne is still fine. And then they showed me the post. Yeah, good for them. It's stressful being at the top. I was there for almost a year. I still have the fastest time anyone has ever seen. Feel good about that. They beat that, then I'm out of the game. And who knows, maybe I'll come back. Even just going to hide in the weeds a little bit. I'm going to do a Gavin and Halo move. I'm just going to wait for a while. You're trapping Garfield times.

Yeah, well, I'm trying to get into the Xbox Hall of Fame at the moment, so I'm a little occupied. I saw from a tweet that Ray is in the Xbox Hall of Fame somehow. Is it gamer school based? Sort of. It was like a promotion. They just inducted a bunch of people who were notable, I guess, for gamer score. But they're doing this contest where you can enter the Hall of Fame by either unlocking the most achievements by, I think, the middle of October, getting the most points, or playing the most Game Pass games

within that stretch. And it's a count wide and only one winner per country. So I was trying to figure out what country had the smallest population that I could get into and try to claim victory of. North Korea, not an option.

That was one of my immediate, didn't think they'd have a large user base or install base there. I don't know, Sweden maybe? Sweden, I don't know what the install base is. I need to do more research, but. No, I bet you got some competition in Sweden. Probably.

Maybe Iceland? I don't know if, yeah, I'll write that down. No, Iceland's too big. I would, maybe, not that big. It doesn't even need to necessarily be literal population. It's install base. Right. So like Tokyo, a lot of people, not many play Xbox.

So that could be a viable option. I bet there's some little like Andalusian mountain country you could pick that's got like 2,500 people. I'll write it down. I'll have to go through. I'm in the research phase right now. Just making sure I could even pull this off. I don't think they have a rule against it. That doesn't mean it will be approved that they maybe just didn't anticipate i'm pretty

sure you'd have to have you can't just change your location surely wouldn't you have to have a billing address there to make sure you're from there no i flip location on xbox all the time andrew probably has a billing address in every country in the world right he's like the canadian born identity he's saying he's got a passport and currency and a phone number and an email address he could disappear tomorrow oh yeah where's his money it's got to be spread across so many countries i was thinking the other day andrew is the person i've known the longest but in a ratio i know the least about i know absolutely nothing about your day-to-day, your living situation. I don't know anything. I know

that you sit next to a fire extinguisher once a week. That's about it for, like, how you live. Still in a blanket fort. Everything else is a mystery to me. I assume you live like Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window. You just sit in a chair with a tartan blanket around you next to a fire extinguisher and look out the window hoping to

catch homeless women peeing. Do you think, Andrew, a good gift would be a telescope so that you could see the pee closer? No. Yeah, like binoculars. No, I don't do that. I'm good. Dude, Jimmy Stewart was a badass.

There are worse people to be compared to. I'm not... My complaint wasn't with being compared to Jimmy Stewart. My issue was with, once again, the continued narrative that I have an obsession of watching homeless women pee and that I need a telescope for it. I was not arguing the Jimmy Stewart point, Jeff.

Oh, you don't need the telescope? I don't do it, so I don't need a telescope for anything. I'm not really into looking into the sky. I can't believe you're turning down a free telescope here. It's a cool piece of kit. They're expensive.

Think of all the fun stuff you could do with them. What would be the fun stuff I could do with them, Jeff? You could probably figure out a way to burn ants from your bedroom. That's cool. Wait, how? I don't know, like with refraction, right? So wait, the telescope that's in his apartment, you think the sun is in there with him and he can focus?

He's got a window, Gavin. He could hang it out the window, put it on a pole, you know, attach the pole to a C clamp. Dude, the guy, he lives in a pillow fort supported by, I assume, sofa cushions and a fire extinguisher. That's just pretty convoluted. He'd be better if throwing a Molotov cocktail out the window if he wanted to

burn an ant. This seems very extreme. He's like a little, I mean, he's like a born identity, but he's also a little bit like a MacGyver, if you think about it. Wait, could you use a telescope to do that even? Like, logistically, would that work? That feels very extreme. I don't see why not.

It'd be like calling in a hammer at dawn against an ant. Like, the amount, like, normally it's the magnifying glass. Yeah, I mean, the sun is still much bigger than an ant, though. Like, no matter what you use in between. No, but I feel like it's more powerful with the magnifying or the telescope than it would be the magnifying glass am i wrong about that no i mean if it's focused to a point say of like two millimeters it doesn't really matter what lens that you do that with it's just that's the point like that's all the focus in that point you could do you could do like nine lenses or one if it's the same

like surface area surely it's the same power if unless you're one if it's the same surface area. Surely it's the same power unless you're losing, if it's like refracting and losing within the lens. Wait, so the number of lenses wouldn't matter? I mean, I would say you're possibly going to lose more light if it goes through more pieces of glass. That makes sense. I mean, like a photography lens,

if it's a long lens, usually has a higher f-stop because of... Why? Who cares? it's a long lens usually has a a higher f-stop because of why who cares in my head it makes more sense that a telescope would be more powerful than a magnifying glass you might be right i'm just i'm just guessing no your guess is way more educated than mine mine is it is longer and bigger so it would be more powerful so i think your logic probably wins can i ask you guys your opinion on something yeah i'm trying to decide if this is a face or not. And this isn't me. But a couple of weeks ago, I was driving around Austin bored. And a friend of mine who lives in South Austin had been telling

me about this area that she lives by called Onion Creek. And Onion Creek was like a country club and a golf course and just like a little part of town in Southeast Austin, which, by the way, like we used to go that tech company that I worked at with bernie and gus we started roosterteeth from like that was where they had at their country club was where they had like the shitty christmas dinner every year and uh like around like 2013 that area flooded really really badly there's this area in austin called the hundred year flood plain and like supposedly once every hundred years it just it floods like a motherfucker, and it's hard to get insurance if you live in the flood plain, yada, yada, yada. So I guess it was so bad with

climate change, or if you don't believe in climate change, bad luck or whatever, it was determined that this is going to continue to happen. And so there were all these neighborhoods that were in Onion Creek that were just in such danger of flooding. The city in 2018 did a buyback program and they bought back about 500 houses. So imagine two neighborhoods that are essentially 500 house neighborhoods. So they're pretty big. I think one was about 400 and the other one's about 100. So the city bought all these houses and I assume they paid fair price.

It was like a joint venture between the state of Texas or the city of Austin and the Army Corps of Engineers. And so I think they went and they offered fair market value to these people, and then people sold their homes. Then they bulldozed all the homes, all the 500 homes, and took out the power lines and took out any trees that they thought, like ornamental trees that would become a danger to fall over if they weren't cared for. You know, like trees that aren't native to Texas that would be in your backyard. You know, you planted like a crepe myrtle or something.

She was telling me about it. She was like, you should check it out. It's like post-apocalyptic. And so I drove over there and I've become obsessed with it, right? Because it's neighborhoods with uh sidewalks and streets and in some cases like a trash can like at the street and sometimes an old mailbox and sometimes you see like a power generator where somebody's house used to be but out of the 500 houses 10 of them refused to sell

and so they're still there with people living in in them? Yeah. And it's fucking crazy because do you remember that movie? It was a book, but do you remember the movie Annihilation with Natalie Portman that was like a couple years ago? Yes. Yeah, it was weird.

Yeah, the neighborhood looks like that. It's like, it was 2018, they started the buyback program and they bulldozed all the houses. So it's all overgrown and kind of like East Texas swampy looking, but it's fucking gorgeous. So it looks like post-apocalyptic, right?

It looks like the nature took over the neighborhood back. So do they like send people to collect the bins and stuff still, or is that just- Yeah, so they cut power and they cut power lines everywhere but to these 10 houses. So the houses still have city water. They still have gas. They still have electricity forever.

The city didn't force the people to sell the houses. They just have gas. They still have electricity forever. The city didn't force the people to sell the houses. They just encouraged it and it became a good deal because of, you know, they were going to fucking flood. So you would think like the people that refuse to sell totally face themselves, right? But they kind of didn't because those houses have been there since like the 50s. And I think this place has flooded that badly once in their lifetimes. I got to thinking about it. It probably won't flood that badly once in their lifetimes i got to thinking about it it probably won't flood that badly again maybe it will i don't know but they have an entire 500 house neighborhood to themselves that's crazy i bet there's like barely any

busyness noise i bet they never have to put up with like the leaf blower next door they know their systems are never taxed i bet their internet is racing fast because it's not split across hundreds of houses. It's so weird. And I've been kind of obsessed with the idea. Like I couldn't go buy a house there, but if you, if I guarantee you, if I, if I drove you guys over there right now, you'd go, this is a beautiful neighborhood. This is, you should build some houses here. This is awesome. Uh, but they essentially like the city has turned it into in perpetuity parkland. And so they've designated it like a city park or whatever. They're there. They've put some bike paths and stuff through it.

But it's just like this crazy, weird area where you're driving through neighborhoods and you can see like a palm tree that used to be in somebody's backyard, like 20 feet in the air. That's like unkempt and just like super doesn't belong there. And you can see where driveways used to be and what's left of it in two years, just two years, the sidewalks are almost gone from like stuff going over it. And there's just these like 10 people that just live where 500 houses used to be. And they're the only homes. It's crazy. I don't think that's a face. I think those holdouts will now be much more valuable than they ever would have been before

because people might want that lifestyle. I bet you couldn't convince them to sell for anything cheap. Like, I don't know what the laws are behind it. I don't know if they can sell. Like, I don't know if you can buy that property or if you sell, you have to sell to the city or something.

I don't know. Really? I really don't know, dude. I don't know. All I know is that the city still supplies services to those people. And they have, like, imagine in your neighborhood, Gavin, if every house you could see got bulldozed, but your house was fine.

And then all the debris and everything was moved away. And then the city came in and they cut that grass twice a year. I read the city's plan on it. They cut the vegetation down twice a year. So it's essentially, it's just like left to turn into fields and forests. I'm imagining what happens in Fallout 4 in Sanctuary if you just like scrap all the other houses

apart from your own. That'd be awesome. I'd be all for that. Yeah, it's insane. So it's like the gamble is your house could be flooded at any point though, right? Yeah, at any point, like right? Yeah. At any point. Like irrevocably flooded.

Could you lift it up and put on stilts? That's a great question. I don't know. Or do you build your own like little fucking moats and shit in your yard or build retaining walls? They just look like they're just going about their business. Like the houses look like they were in a neighborhood with another 400 houses. Like they don't look like anything special.

They don't look fortified. They don't look great. They're not the nicest houses you've ever seen. Are you allowed to buy a crane and live in a house that's hanging off it? No. Why not? Why not? I don't know why, but no.

The answer is no. You can't do that. And then when it floods, your crane gets wet. But you're still good. The crane starts going down. Your house is just moving. You end up in a different neighborhood. It lands like a block over because the crane tipped.

That'd be awesome. If you're in Austin and you know anybody that lives in Onion Creek, Gavin, we used to have a friend who lived in Onion Creek years and years and years ago. I never went to his house when he lived there. But I don't know if they were in the part that if they had to have their houses bought back or not, but it's just fucking... I haven't been able to stop thinking about this house and whether or not these people fucked themselves or whether they were brilliant now that the buyback program is over so they can't sell the house to the city now city's like nah fuck you that that ship's safe you know so if you lose that bet and that place gets flooded i think you're fucked but um so i guess it's like as long

as mother nature plays ball you're good but, what a cool idea to live like essentially by yourself in a suburban neighborhood. The people that remained, how are they spread out throughout? Oh yeah. Yeah. I, I read in an article that there were 10 surviving houses. I only saw six. I think there's areas I still haven't seen cause it's kind of confusing, but I would say they're, um, blocks away from each other. I would say they're blocks away from each other. I would be irate if I had a neighbor in that situation. If I was the only house with a neighbor, that'd be infuriating. No, absolutely. Can you navigate via the roads pretty well? Roads are totally fine. I think I'd take that gamble. It's not a face until it happens

and it might never happen. Right. I think they're winning right now. Let's go there. Yeah, I'll take you. I'll take you sometime. We'll go. As soon as we can go places in a car together, I'll fucking drive you over there. It seems like somebody should have filmed a movie there by now. I'll watch you two from my telescope. I've just noticed it's 4.55, right? I have to do another show at 5. So if we start the outro process five minutes from when I need to be gone, we should be done in time.

Do you think we'll find a new color in our lifetime? Okay, well... What does that mean? That's not the right direction. Like, invent a color? Yeah, I mean, do you think we'll find a new color? What, like the color blimp? Oh, which is kind of cool if a magazine was like,

hey, we found a new purple. That would be purple. It'd be like a shade of purple. Well, that's a new color, though. A shade is certainly a new color, isn't it? Well, I mean, sure. I mean, we surely have every visible... every color that's on our you know visible spectrum we've nailed uh are you talking like maybe we'll find something beyond ultraviolet that for some

reason we can see i don't know how colors work i'm just wondering if we'll find a new one what would you name it i have no idea i'm not the the crayola company they they come up with that right yes crayola names are they're the official naming entity of colors. I mean, who names colors? Is someone credited with naming a color? I don't know. I think they all came from different languages based on different super old school shit, maybe Latin or something. But surely someone had to come up with it, right? Someone had to be like, that's red. Yeah.

I feel like you guys are acting like this is an insane question. I think it's very reasonable. It's not an insane question. It's just, it's like, it's something I thought about when I was eight, you know? You still don't have an answer. You've been, I just thought about this last week. How old are you now, Gavin? 20 years, no results?

Looks bad on you. You don't, you don't even have anything ready to go. Like where, where could the color possibly be? I will know. Looks bad on you. You don't even have anything ready to go. Where could the color possibly be? Well, no. I don't think I'm going to discover a new color. Are you thinking that there's some combination of paint colors you could put together that nobody's thought of yet? You put a little red in there, a little green, maybe a little brown.

Put some orange. I don't think so. Shake it a little bit. I don't think so. I don't know i was asking i was just asking a question i'm gonna say no let me ask you this do you believe in mandela effects because i i really want to but now i'm convinced after i i've spent a lot of time on the subreddit that 99 of mandela effects people just don't understand that movies are edited for tv that's a great point i actually never thought about that angle. Some of them, though, aren't

movie related. It's like names, right? And spelling of words. Sometimes, but mostly it's just people don't understand that movies are edited down for TV. Like that color that just went missing? Yeah, or that sometimes they put something in a trailer that doesn't make it into the film. Like the scene in Dumb and Dumber in the trailer when Lloyd Christmas

is running down the jetway and then they back the plane up and he falls and he's like laying funny on the ground holding the briefcase. I don't think that's in the trailer when Lloyd Christmas is running down the jetway and then they back the plane up and he falls and he's like laying funny on the ground holding the briefcase. I don't think that's in the movie, but it's in the trailer. It is in the movie. Is it in the movie? Of course it is. It's like the best part of the movie. Aside from the snowball in the face, that's the best part. Then there's something in that scene that's in the trailer that's not in the movie. Did Jeff just fall for his own trap that he was complaining about? I mean, he also thought chickens

shat through their head skin, so. That's true. Hey, we should probably stop, though. Yeah! Before I look any dumber or Gavin's late. Thanks for listening! What about, like, pillow? It's like a purple and a yellow. Shh! Alright, thanks for listening. Rate five stars and

subscribe, whatever that means. This has been episode 16 of F*** Face. Thank you for listening. And Nick, go ahead and cut out anything where I look dumb or not super smart. Cut out the whole Mandela effect thing because I look dumb in it. Or at least the part where I talk about Dumb and Dumber. I'm misremembering. There's something in the trailer of Dumb and Dumber that's not in the film.

There's something in the trailer of Lie, Lie that's not in the film. Also involving plane stairs. Maybe that's what I'm misremembering you ever see the slenderman movie no i heard it was bad there's a lot of stuff in the trailer that's just not in the movie nick and eric haven't figured out that they need to drag us out and not move themselves into end show gavin you're about to officially be late well now we're just all in here you've that doesn't work then the show's over goodbye i have to go to a meeting. Goodbye. All right. Oh, he left.

All right, I'm sorry.