F**kface - In the Anal Trenches // A Tub as Narrow as Geoff's foot [48]

Episode Date: April 28, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin's ADR Nick theory confirmed, an official F**kface retraction, getting in a dry tub, and missed mechanics. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by: Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), The Jordan Harbinger Show (http://jordanharbinger.com/start), & HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/12face + code 12face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Alright, go for the intro. Welcome to F*** Face? Not a question. Alright, that was the intro. That was Andrew's intro. Anyway, you were saying something about Nick. So I have a theory about Nick. And I feel like because this has lasted across multiple weeks,

it's gonna be a huge letdown because it's a very tiny, you know, not an important theory I've had about Nick. Here's the thing about Nick. Nick is probably our best editor, right? I don't like the episodes that he doesn't edit. We've had editors who well had we've had editors who

well we've we've had editors who just gave up they're just like i'm not doing that bye shots fucking fired uh we've had some other good ones but i feel like nick it needs the fewest notes he's always like cutting out stuff that we clearly don't want and even if we don't mention it he's probably cutting out us eating and breathing down the mic hole very good and and the best part about it almost no feedback every week well i think it's i think it's because nick is nick has been around since he understands what face is because he's helped build it right yeah yeah however but i feel like whenever we talk to nick on the podcast he comes in and he's like and he, and he's sort of flubbing all over his words. He's not making much sense.

But when the episode comes out, he speaks with perfect articulation. He is very well spoken. And my theory is this. He is re-recording his input to these episodes. I think he's doing ADR. i think he's doing replacement takes i hundred hundred percent agree with that and believe that that's happening thoughts nick yeah that's happened twice absolutely 100 yeah part of the reason i do it though part of the reason i do it though is because gavin will reason I do it, though, is because Gavin will turn to me, or I assume he's turning to me in these moments,

and like, Nick, what do you have to say? And I'm like, uh-uh, I better open a recording program, and I have no way to match up my audio. So later on, I just am like, oh, this is shit. I'm just going to re-record my audio. First off, Gavin, excellent ear great job yeah and secondly i think that is the right of the editor right like absolutely back in the old days before face and all this stuff you know we used to at the day job bruce teeth i used to make a cartoon called red versus blue and i did

most of the audio recording and editing for most of the seasons and I would wait and I was also a character right so I would do my lines like everybody else and I'd cut them in and then after everybody would go home for the day I would re-record everything I did like three or four or sometimes 60 or 70 times until it sounded decent and nobody ever

had to know and I didn't talk about it but I guarantee you that character Griff had more lines re-recorded than the rest of the characters put together i'm kind of bummed though it's like let's fucking maybe maybe take 300 will be better i don't care it's you know it doesn't matter when i'm sort of bumbling my way through these points sometimes i wish i could do a redo but yeah but maybe i'll start submitting separate takes of stuff after the episode that that won't complicate things would you say you here you are talking about uh how nick has gone back and edited uh a more cogent response in how do you feel about editing stuff out of the episode gavin what do you mean well like having

stuff removed what's your point what's your point just curious i've done it yeah that is we've all done that is a set here's Yeah. We've all done it. Yeah, we have all done it. If a conversation sort of trails off into nothing and it's like, what was the point of even nah, just lop it off? Or if it's just too gross, we've done that before? Jeff is teeing me up, is what he's doing.

I was... Jeff, this is like... One of these episodes. It's one of these behind the scenes Arguing episodes Gavin I want you to know that I decided I was not going to bring this up I had mentioned it to Jeff

Well you didn't tell me you weren't going to bring it up No I didn't but I didn't think you'd Fucking team me up for it either Oh come on I'm a professional this is my day job What else am I going to do Fair enough. But I was, you got, and I don't know to what extent, Gavin, but we talked about a butt blood incident.

And I didn't plan on bringing that up on the show. That was the thing that was brought up because you brought it up. And I was like, I don't think I really want to talk about this I was just making it clear that we need to know when you're bleeding from the anus so we Know that's not necessarily a podcast talk Entertainment it's called fucking face. It's a comedy show And this is so I was like I'm not gonna bring this up at all you brought it up and then jeff thought my fucking john voight joke was the funniest thing ever so it's like

fuck then i can't remove this it was really good really funny joke but then i learned because you mentioned this on the rt podcast which is why i even feel comfortable bringing it up at all yeah you had a story yourself that you had edited from the show and i was deep i was like i didn't want to talk about this but i know gavin has a story too we're in the anal trenches together i'm willing to ride this out and i feel like you kind of just left me that's how it felt i don't know to what extent what was edited i just know that you requested because it was gross it's a super fucking gross episode without a doubt the episode overall i just thought was so disgusting yeah uh nick's saying that it was like 20 minutes of the episode i had about 50

seconds cut just because i was telling i was just going but i was trying to make you feel comfortable andrew telling my my butt yeah but yeah no i get it when i listen to it back I was trying to make you feel comfortable Andrew I was telling my butt story Yeah but yeah no I get it When I listened to it back I was like this provides nothing And it's very disgusting No no no no no It's way more disgusting than Andrew's butt story But then you go on to do the disgusting Cupcake story and it didn't feel as bad

To be honest but I felt like it added nothing And I was happy to lose it But here's the thing Gavin I felt okay going forward. I'm like, because we're in this together and you just left. So now I'm just stuck. I'm stuck.

This is like, I didn't factor in the ability of you retreating. You know when they build like an arched bridge over like a river or something and they build support beams while they're building a bridge and then at the end, once the bridge is built,

they demolish the beams and they just crumble away. I was just your anal beams, Andrew. Look, I didn't think, right. My story, I didn't mind it being told because I told it. I was happy for that to be in. I just felt like listening back to it, it's just one disgusting thing after another. And mine wasn't even very funny.

Mine was just like, ugh. I'm happy to tell it again and leave it in. I just felt like it was detrimental to the comedy. Oh, God. I don't think we need to double back. It was just very much like I felt like we were in it together. That was sort of my comfortability of it, of like, I don't want to talk about this,

but Gavin brought it up. And you know know what gavin lack of a better word also has blood on his hands for this will equally be blood in his shorts just well i mean to be fair i described what i cut when i was talking about the roosty podcast so there's no you did you mentioned in passing but you also that whole i i didn't realize that you did it in a reply in her slack you did it in a reply thread which is why i didn't see it so it's like when i heard yeah i heard about someone told me that you're gonna edit that out and i was like that motherfucker he did it under the radar even and then i know it's just because it's i assume easier for nick if all the all the notes are below the episode are not absolutely chatting about bat

knobs and shite yeah Yeah, totally fair. Anyway, in future, I'll consult you. When I tee you up for a nice bloody ADA story, I'll let you know if I'm thinking about cutting it. I'm all good. I got checked out. I'm good. There are no issues.

That was so fucking entertaining for me. I admit, looking back on it, I should have told you, and i apologize i left you out there okay in the anal trenches alone you just left yeah all right while we're apologizing uh gavin that is a great natural segue for something that i'm gonna have to do uh that i'm not too fucking excited about but uh i do like though by the way that andrew didn't bring that up with me he He just pitched to you about it. No, no, no.

This is why I did it. Because you requested something to be edited out. And I would never bring it up on the show if you wanted it to be removed. So I was asking Jeff, like, are the ethics of this okay? Because you mentioned it on the podcast. And I didn't know what your reasons necessarily were for wanting it to remove. So it was more of a question to Jeff of, is this appropriate for me to even discuss on the show? Oh, absolutely.

He threw you under the anal blood bus, dude. You have every right to talk about it. Every right to talk about it. I love some of the sentences coming out of this podcast. It is your God-given podcast right as a professional podcaster to address that gavin faced you hard oh speaking and speaking of facing i don't like to do this uh but uh i i need to issue an official face retraction holy crap have we ever had one of those i don't know i don't know that we have uh but if we haven't this will be the first hopefully the last yeah i'm not proud of it i'm not excited

about it uh i've been living with the guilt of something for about i guess two or three weeks now and i'd be lying if i said it had it hasn't been uh kind of eaten away at me and so um i wanted to say this to andrew a lot earlier but i realized that everything that we do has to be filtered through the lens of this podcast so i've been waiting uh andrew i need to apologize to you and to the audience for something and i feel really shitty about it yeah i eviscerated you over sockless shoe wearing and uh i even i thought in the moment am i being a little too critical and then i thought who cares did you switch teams, I got on my bike about a week ago, not too long after you and I went for our bike ride, actually, Gavin. And I realized, I looked down and I realized I was wearing shoes without socks. And then I realized that I had somehow in that rant against Andrew,

I had forgotten that I had a major life change about a year ago around the time covet started and that was when i switched to an all bathing suit uh bathing suit only uh uh wardrobe right yeah and as a part of that i started taking my oldest shoes my oldest vans the ones that i used to cut the grass in and i started wearing them without socks while I rode my bike. So I didn't have, you know, like fucking like unburned sock legs, you know, so I don't walk around looking like I'm wearing socks when I'm not wearing socks. So it didn't look weird having having socks on. And I do that almost every day. I wear shoes without socks almost every day when I ride a bicycle. And I fucking I just I just attacked you.

Meanwhile, I'm doing the exact same thing. And I just I'm sorry. I really am. I will say I'm doing the exact same thing. And I just, I'm sorry. I really am. I will say, I still think it's gross. And I do, I realize I do wash those shoes once a week. How, how could you? But I just like, I just blanked. Like I'm 45, right?

I was going off of 44 years of information. And I just forgot about 11 months of it. Like the most recent 11 months. You also had a giant bit about putting on the wrong sock every day. And sometimes you don't even wear them. I still, I wear socks every day. At some point.

Wait. At some point. Yeah. Wait, you've said you ride your bike every day. Yeah, I do now just about, but it was also like,

it was also, uh, I think coming out of winter and the snow stuff and I hadn't been on the bike a lot. So it wasn't top of mind, you know, like I hadn't been able to ride my bike a lot lately. the bike a lot. So it wasn't top of mind, you know, like I hadn't been able to ride my bike a lot lately. So, uh,

now I've been, I've been, you know, I've ridden it every day except for today. Cause it's been rainy. But, uh, so anyway,

Andrew, I'm sorry. I'm a dirty, no sock shoe wearing scumbag who wears sockless shoes when he rides his bicycle. And he does it a couple hours a day, six days a week. I,

and so I'm sorry. No, I guess I accept your apology, but it's also like you called me a dirty sockless scumbag in your apology. I don't know how to feel about that. Yeah. I don't know how effective of life. I still think it's disgusting. I just am a part of, I'm just also disgusting. So wait, you, whenever you ride your bike, you don't wear socks. Uh, well,

if I wear shorts, I don't wear socks. And so I had been wearing pants. This seems so complicated. It's not, it's not, it's not. If you wear pants, you wear socks. That's, that just makes sense. Okay. Right? Mostly you wear socks, but if it's a hundred degrees outside in Texas and you're riding a bicycle and you wear

swim trunks, it looks dumb to wear swim trunks with socks. Sure. You know? And shoes. Makes sense. So you take the socks off and you're riding a bicycle and you wear swim trunks, it looks dumb to wear swim trunks with socks, you know, and shoes. Makes sense. So you take the socks off and you just wear, like, you know, gardening shoes, essentially. Why don't you just wear some low ankle socks? I can't wear those socks, and I'll tell you why. Okay.

God damn, dude, if I could. Believe me, I wish that I could. However, I have very thin feet. What is that? That's not a brag. I could. However, I have very thin feet. That's not a brag. It's just that my very thin, very long, thin feet and so shoes are always a little too wide for me. Okay, so

narrow, not like way for thin underneath. They're not way for thin, they're narrow. I have narrow feet. I have svelte, narrow, very thin ankles, very narrow feet. And so socks won't stay. The only socks that'll stay up are socks that are like long socks. So I can't wear those little short socks. I've had like runners versions.

I've bought Vans. I bought like a million different kinds of those little short socks. And what happens is when I put them on, even the ones that have the rubber stopper that are supposed to grab the back of your ankle or whatever, they within five minutes, they're all bunched up in the front of the shoe. That surely has nothing to do with the width of your

foot. That's all ankle and heel that holds on a sock. No, it's the whole package, dude. I don't fill out a sock. No, but like... And then you walk around, and then within ten minutes, the socks are off and at the front of my shoes, squishing my feet.

They go right off, dude. I can't be the only person that has that problem. I mean, I don't... I feel like I don't have a wide foot either, but I don't... I'm not like that kicking my socks off when I run. Dude, I wish I wasn't. Maybe we should...

Here's what we do. He's like the worst Forrest Gump. His socks just fall in as he's running. Next time we see each other, which hopefully won't be too long. Hopefully you'll be a big boy and buy a bicycle so we can go be friends again.

Yeah. And I sent you two different... Three different options, all perfectly lovely. Next time I see you, let's measure our feet and let's see whose feet are more narrow.

Yeah. I mean, you can't. It's just a weird are more narrow. Yeah. I mean, you can. It's just a weird request. I'm convinced. Like, you know, you have those in like a fancy shoe. You'll have like a wooden foot bit that goes inside, keeps the shoe good. You know what I'm talking about? What, a shoe horn?

No, a shoe horn. A shoe horn is like, is how you get in and out of a shoe. It's like the toe. I don't know what it does, but yeah, I know what you mean. I've seen them as like a wooden toe section with like a metal bar leading to like a wooden heel section. Oh, to maintain the shape of the shoe. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm convinced if you put a sock on that, which is pretty much the narrowest foot of all time, I bet a sock would stay on that. I bet it wouldn't. I'm pretty sure the heel would keep it on. Not if it walked and rode a bicycle, it wouldn't. I promise you. Okay. There's nothing wrong with my heels, buddy. I got normal ass heels.

I'm just telling you, socks don't stay up on these feet. Maybe your foot doesn't go back beyond your heel. I also have to, every pair of shoes I own, and part of why I own Vans is because they fit me a little bit better, but I have to cinch shoelaces as tight as they'll possibly go, and my feet still slide around inside the shoe, left or right. I think you're doing something wrong.

Yeah, I have narrow feet. I always have. Should we put paint on our feet and stand on paper? Yes! Let's measure our feet. Let's get a tape measure. Let's measure our feet. Let's do sock studies if you want.

We'll both get the same socks. We can run around, do calisthenics, do physical activity, see whose socks stay on better. I guarantee you, you'll find my socks bunched up at the front of my fucking shoes for no reason.

And it doesn't matter if it's Vans or Nikes or Adidas or whatever or fucking dress shoes it's all the same andrew you i feel like you're you're not uh you're not a normal foot guy i don't know what that means what does that mean you're just not you're just not like a nor you're not like a blank guy so i feel it's something with your feet that you oh have an issue with i mean you got the bad ankles obviously like what how is the rest of your foot looking i I don't feel like, yeah, I don't think I have any weird, but then there's like things where you don't know

that are weird or not. I don't want to completely pivot away, but when you guys have a bath, this is somebody yelled at me about this, and I had never put any thought into this. I just, there's zero consideration. When you have a bath, do you fill the tub with any amount of water first and then hop in?

Or do you just hop into the tub and then turn the water on and let it fill? I fill the bath and then I get in it once it's full. I do the same, but I do feel like you're being unfairly maligned here. I don't think it's that weird to get into an empty tub and fill it up. It feels like something you do when you're a kid more than an adult. Well, but then you get all that weird, like sticky, like your skin will get stuck to the side of the bath. There's no war in it. It's like not a great material to be naked against. No, well, no, I don't.

It's just I never thought I never even considered there was any other option. I climb into the tub while it's completely empty. This is apparently a weird thing. I did not know this. It's just a weird. It's just a weird way to spend your time, man. Like, well, no, I'm not running. You could be doing it.

You could be brushing your teeth or doing any eating a cupcake. can be doing you can be meshing up your cupcakes you could be collecting this is just like for me this is my logic one i get complete temperature control the entire way i like a hot bath totally so i'm gauging it the entire process and then two i don't trust that like the water it's just gonna overflow when i get, I don't trust that like the water, it's just going to overflow when I get in. I don't know what the cap is. I guess I'd learn that over time. I'm sure you just eventually figure that out. But when you get in, the water rises.

Yeah, well, here's what you could do. Next time you have a bath, fill it up when you're in it, then get out. That's the amount of water you could put in before you get in. Or I could just hop in and then turn the water on and not think about it at all. I mean, you can it's just it a it's boring to wait for a bath to fill and if you're trying to like watch something or listen to something you got the loud noise of all

the water you forgot gavin i'm bringing in 50 devices with me i'm not bored i got a whole yeah you're playing toilet jenga i just i'd never consider that as being a strange thing. I did a Twitter poll and there's like 2000 votes right now. 88% are filled before entering. And I feel like 90% of the 12% are people that click the wrong one by mistake. It feels like it's a very small minority. I'm open to it. Like I'll try it for sure.

I just never considered it. I want to enjoy the bath. I don't want to be doing all the fill work. But I would argue I'm enjoying more of the bath than you. I'm getting the full bath process. There's no way. He's not wrong. Once you're done doing the ratios and you're like,

oh, this is a good temperature and it's full, you've been in the bath for probably like five or ten minutes to that point and you probably want to get out soon. Well, he's like pre-gaming, though. That's like tailgating. The bath hasn't started until the water turns off, right? It's pre-tubbing. Nick's got it right.

It's pre-tubbing. Pre-tubbing doesn't count against the bath. Yeah, but you don't want to get all wrinkled. How long are you staying in the bath, Andrew? For like the entirety of my bath on average, probably like an hour, hour and a half. Hour and a half? What are you watching a full fucking movie in there?

Yeah, I might be, yeah. Hour and a half? If you're an hour and a half in a bathtub, you're having to empty out water and then refill it to keep a constant temperature. Well, that's the problem. If I could have like a random ability, it would be like water hot, like as a command.

I'm really bad at even though I'm in the tub before the water gets in there. I am the absolute worst at gauging what temperature I want. I wanted to be super hot, but then I get too hot. So I put cold in and it gets too cold and I can never get back to the hotness I want. It's a struggle. I'm really bad at maintaining. Do you have like rationed hot water? What do you mean?

What do you mean by rationed hot water? Like I have a limited tank. That's what you mean. Yeah, like in England, the heater came on like twice a day. And if you used up all the hot water in the morning, that was it until it came on at night. Yeah, I don't know exactly what the recharge is. But yeah, you run out of hot water. And is that why you can't get it hot again?

Or you just... Yeah, that is the problem of like, yeah, like I get it super hot. I kind of want it to be soup like like but then it gets a little too hot so i put cold in and then like i've already used too much of my cap so i can't get it back it's a problem here's what i did i feel like this is much easier i'll run a bath right all the way to the top maybe a couple of inches lower than the drain thing at the top because i'll displace a few if it's too hot dip a dip a little foot in if it's too too hot, just wait a bit. I'm not adding cold to it, because that will really throw it cold too quickly. Okay.

Yeah, that's a good advice. I was just curious, because it was a thing I never considered, and when I told the cupcake thing, I mentioned it, and someone yelled at me about it. I don't think it's as weird as the audience has latched onto. I gotta be honest with you. And I do think I've done it that way. I do think the way Gavin is describing it

is the way most, the vast majority of people take baths. Although, Gavin's fear of adding cold water in for fucking up the ratio is weird. I don't know why you wouldn't do that. It's not hard. I don't want the back and forth. Let me ask you a question, Andrew.

How many baths on average, how many baths a week do you take? I don't know, maybe two, two or three. Is a bath your, like, are you more of a shower guy? No, I'm more of a shower. Yeah, a bath is purely a relaxation type thing. Yeah, I only take baths

when my girlfriend makes me because I'm whining about how sore my shoulder is or whatever. And she's like, take a bath without some salt. So I don't ever think to take a bath. Really? It's something that's thrust upon me that i then have to acquiesce to um how often do you take baths gavin i'm a pretty frequent batha bather these days because when i lived with you um in my little studio i didn't have one and then when we lived in that rental house did that

house have one i don't think no i think you had one but i didn't yeah you've you've been shower central yeah so i was just a shower dude for years and then when i finally got my own house i was all about a bath i love them good relaxing time good time to uh do emails and that watch something you've been putting off i love it yeah it's a great here's the other thing with my bath why i don't think i can even even let's say i agree the better method is to fill it to an extent or whatever and check it. My bathtub really fucking sucks where I live. It's super... It's like...

It's very narrow. It's like surprisingly narrow. It's like if Jeff's foot was above it. Yeah, I bet it couldn't hold up a sock. Yeah, it definitely couldn't hold up a sock. Audience is gonna back me up on this. There's a lot of people out there that have sock issues like me, I promise you.

So I need to, for how this tub is shaped, I need to hold my back to the wall the entire time of it. It's a tub shower. Because if I don't... What did you... What do you mean? Go ahead. What did you just say? Do that bit again.

Yeah. I don't understand. I just, I can't. I was trying to picture it. It's a tub shower. I don't know what you said. Okay, it's a tub shower. It's weirdly shaped. It's very narrow.

But it is a bath. Yeah, it's a bath. There's a bath, and there's a shower part to it. But it's just like you have a curtain instead of a door. Whatever. It's both. You're describing every shower. It's describing a bath. Well, there are bathtubs that don't have shower attachments, but yeah, I guess you're right.

It's a little redundant to get into the specifics of it. But the point is mainly the shape issue. If I slide off that back wall, water gets behind me, and then I can't go backwards, or else it fires out the back of the tub and gets all over the floor. So you're acting as a dam for your own bathtub. Yeah, like I need to hold the wall the back wall of

the tub or it will get behind me and if it's like a fucking it's like in a movie where they step on the trip mine or whatever like i need to i can't move a certain extent or else it will fire out the tub is there a perfect seal andrew's fucking hoe and we're fighting off the water walkers I am I am yeah I just I cannot allow water he's hope it's I am the fucking Gandalf of water of like it cannot pass me

because if it does it's gonna get all over the floor if your back is against wait it's okay I'm imagining it all wrong you just sat in the middle of a path and there's only water in front of you. No, no, no. You say your back is at the wall.

My back is at the wall of the tub, at the very, like, as far back as it can get. You're creating a skin seal. Yeah, I'm blocking it off so all the water goes in front of me. Right, but if the water gets behind you, you can't just slowly sit back against the wall. If I slowly go back against the wall no if i if i slowly go back

against the wall the water shoots out of the back it's like a cork in a bottle that's a great descriptor the first i didn't i didn't realize this i didn't realize this the first time i was here and i got out of the tub and my floor was drenched Just water all over so I'm coming to be like Andrew. Why is there water on the ceiling? It doesn't fire that right it's just slightly goes over It's not like launching water So what do you say is that you just saying the back of the tub or is there a wall at the back of the tub also um i don't maybe i'll just take a photo of it like it's just it's all one piece like the shower plastic to the tub is all one piece could you take a photo now uh sure while he's taking a photo uh well he's off i'll do you remember the the fucking don zimmer pedro

martinez fight gavin yeah did we look at the did we do the action images of that or just the image of him getting did we show all the images i made a little flip book that i've been going through oh no i i mean we watched we looked at that one picture with the hat being pushed in his eyes and then and then we watched the clip see if i can add all three of these i've been bouncing back and forth between the three of them all day and i've been laughing so fucking hard i was looking them up for an for an idea i have for an image and then uh and then i noticed that i don't think i had ever seen i've never seen the stills from this angle i've seen the the one. It's just amazing.

The one with his just, it looks like he's dead on the ground. I'm waiting for the third one to load. Oh, okay. You haven't seen it. It's the best. Oh! He looked dead from the waist up.

Oh, no! Yes! Thank you, Jeff. Andrew, I was filling time, and I was telling Gav that I... Oh, yes! I was looking at pictures of Zimmer and Pedro fighting today telling Gav that I... Oh, yes! I was looking at pictures of Zimmer and Pedro fighting today for a project that I want to do

that I can talk about, but I was talking about with Andrew earlier, and I realized that there were some awesome action photos, and I made a little flipbook on my Apple, where I just right-trigger between them and just watch them fall. That's got to be a gift. But that last one, you could Photoshop a red rag into that guy's hands,

and it would be amazing. It would be amazing. This is like walking back to Christmas. I was asking Jeff about this earlier. He sent me the one we've all seen, and I'm like, do you think there's a photographer that has in the process process of fall because i want to see him right before impact i want to see him on impact this is great yeah the last one looks like his heart stopped like on that i had an idea this morning gab i think it's okay to talk about if it's if if you're hearing this

then we didn't cut it uh if you're not hearing it we cut it and you don't even know that we talked about it. But I had an idea this morning, Gavin, where I was telling Andrew, I showed it to him. You know how they make mosaic images out of smaller versions of the same thing? So I was thinking it would be funny to make a giant mosaic art piece

of Don and Pedro fighting, call it the Don Pedro Project, but it's made out of baseball cards of Don and Pedro. Oh, that's phenomenal. And so I found a program online that'll do it, and I counted it up. I need,

I found, I just need to collect cards now. It's going to be about 2,030 cards, I think, is what it would take to make it. And so I just need like, probably about 15 different Pedro and Don cards,

and then just hundreds of them. And then I can, I can actually physically make this thing and put it together, and it'd be like a giant, probably like 2,000 baseball card mosaic of them fighting. We could auction that. That'd be amazing for Cherry.

I was telling Andrew, it belongs in a museum. I mean, it doesn't exist yet, but it does. That would be a great Instagram post too, just being able to swipe between all three of those. That's phenomenal. Absolutely, yeah. That's all I've been doing at home since I've had that conversation with Andrew.

I've been swiping through them. That is a weird fucking tub, Andrew. It's all I've been doing at home since I've had that conversation with Andrew that's been swiping through. That is a weird fucking tub, Andrew. It's a weird tub. I have never in my life seen that tub configuration. The wall is directly behind the back of the tub. That looks like a nice tub. That looks pretty fancy. No, it's a shit tub.

It is awful. It stinks. It's like a decent shower, tub i see really tall like no space it's very tight so does that mean most of the time in the bath you have a dry back yeah yeah it does but well no typically you know what i try my best i'm not perfect i'll eventually slide off that wall and then i imagine it i imagine it probably takes a lot of strength in your legs to maintain that position because, yeah, eventually I slide down, especially if I'm having like a bubble bath,

you get some slipperiness to the sides of the tub, it becomes difficult. I just can't imagine you getting that and sitting down naked with no warrant. It's just such a weird little image. It's just like staring at your dick as it slowly starts to float as the water level rises. It's just like staring at your dick as it slowly starts to float as the water level rises.

So weird. So was that something you learned as a kid? I don't think you learned it as an adult, Gavin. I don't... I don't know. I never put any thought into it. It's just like how I've had a bath. You also said in the last

episode that you filled the tub up halfway. What do you mean? When you were describing getting in, you also said in the last episode that you filled the tub up halfway what do you mean when you were describing getting in you were like i got in i feel halfway like is that like so no so no i guess what i would have meant by that is i hopped in the tub and the water was about halfway so i felt ready to i got into it empty but when the water was halfway i was like okay now i can start moving stuff over got it like i feel good now you were you were you decided halfway was enough to initiate bath yes that was like, okay, now I can start moving stuff over. Got it. Like, I feel good. Now, you decided halfway was enough to initiate bath. Yes. I was like, I'm going to start moving things. But also, if you like a nice, hot, steamy bath,

I can't imagine trying to wear an over-the-ear Xbox headset. I must get just sweaty as hell. I don't do it often. It's a very rare case. That was, like, maybe the second time I've ever done that. In my bathing career, it was an experiment that will not be pursued. Now this shit all over the air pieces. No, no, it's good.

We're all good. This episode of Face is brought to you by the Jordan Harbinger show. Want a new podcast to look forward to each week other than this one? One that's entertaining, like this one isn't? Informative, this one definitely isn't. And packed with actionable content? Of course you do. The average podcast listener has six shows in rotation,

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I've started playing too. And she has, and it's been nice. We've been bonding through it. But she has started to compile a list of video clips of me panicking and freaking out and losing games for the team and she she's she's very quickly amassed a very large amount of clips it's fucking annoying and she loves to she loves to show them to me she has to go hey dad remember when you did this? And it's like, ugh. Ugh. I don't know.

You'd have to ask her. You don't want to see me be... You saw me be bad at video games for like 15 years. You don't need to see it. It's brutal. It's brutal. It's like a dude walks in a room. I go, ah! And I shoot everything around him.

And then he turns around, looks at me, and walks over and stabs me. Shit like that, you know? Just like lost my ability. Like lost all my hand-eye coordination pure what game are you worst at do you think uh halo i suck at halo yeah for as much as much time as i've spent on it i really suck at it i don't know i'm pretty bad at a lot of stuff it's hard to pick i feel like you hate ttt oh i'm not great at any of the gmod games i'm not great at any of the Gmod games. I'm not great at any GTA. I'm not good at a lot. But you're right.

I definitely, I get confused by all the rules in all your Gmod games. They got way too complicated after I left the Gmod Hunter and I don't understand it all now. It's like you gotta be a fucking scientist. It always sucks when you miss the beginning of something. It's hard to get involved. I mean, it takes a couple of games to get used to what the hell's going on in that did you speaking of did

you see that easter egg that uh they posted today in the slack of that halo uh like warthog race thing no there was a an easter egg hidden in halo 5 on the evacuation level i believe it is i think it's like the second or third level where it's a timed event and if you get to a certain spot, it initiates an Easter egg where it puts everybody on warthogs or on mongoose and you just do a mongoose race to the end of the map with no enemies or to the end of a part of the map and then when you get there, the person who wins

the race gets heavy weapons for the rest of the level and it was six years old and nobody ever found it and so just recently the guy who was the level designer leaked it and was like, hey, check it out. There's a video of it in our site. It's really interesting. Brand new Halo Easter egg that's a four-player co-op.

Pretty cool. I wonder what the most elaborate Easter egg is that hasn't been found. There was that Easter egg in that Batman game where that first Batman game that nobody found for like two years where you had to break into that room. Blow up the wall. Yeah.

Yeah, that was pretty cool. Those are cool. I wonder how many of those are undiscovered, that nobody found for like two years where you you had to break into that wall yeah yeah yeah that's pretty cool that was pretty cool i wonder how many of those are undiscovered like just generally speaking i bet a lot of them get found you think so i bet there's a ton out there yeah and then also like we'll like define like what is elaborate i don't know if you know this gavin i just learned like i played you and i talked about how much we love hitman i loved hitman blood money one of the games i've played the most of played endless endless amounts of hours into it I didn't know that you know the the wedding level or whatever like the southern you go to a southern wedding yeah with the chandelier and stuff yeah I recently learned like within the last year

that there's a little button on the ground that you can shoot and if you shoot then like 20 naked guys just in their underwear run at you and do like a whole dance sequence and then they just walk away i yeah i've seen i think i've seen the clip from that i think i've seen i think it was in a speed run it was like at a gdq of some sort where someone showed that off you know it's even better than easter eggs is just when you miss a fucking mechanic of the game i don't know what exists gavin and i were talking about like what Hitman is. Hitman is a fascinating series because they haven't innovated a lot. I feel like if anything, they've kind of removed features over time and it has created improvements.

And we're talking about what is the best thing they added. And Gavin said the ability to throw items. And I said, well, that's been around. And he said it's been in since Absolution's been around and he said it's been in since absolution i said no it's been in since blood money gavin i taught gavin that you can throw things in blood money he refused he didn't know how many hours have you put in the blood money gavin without realizing you could throw well i knew you could throw a coin i don't know if i because in absolution onwards you hold down left trigger and you just get a target it's a guaranteed

100 accurate throw into someone's head. Yeah. So to me, that was the thing they added that I think would be a real struggle if they took out. But it's more manual in Blood Money, isn't it? I don't think I ever tried it. It is. No, it is. But it's just you had no idea it existed.

Yeah, I don't think I knew you could throw. I was blown away. I would have bet thousands on that. Was it covered in a tutorial Andrew yeah it's in the beginning of the game they teach you there's a line about it but I had

missed it too to be fair that happens I think that happens way commonly like I remember Bernie he was like 40 hours into fall at three when he discovered vats he was just like wow I mean it

shit and I beat crackdown without auto aim I didn't know that's an absurd thing that's way worse than the vats he was just like aiming at shit and i i beat crackdown without auto aim i didn't even that's an absurd thing that's way worse than the vats yeah it's pretty bad i feel like i feel like that happens a lot there's they throw so much information at you early on in video games now that it is very easy if you're not paying attention to miss one mechanic and they don't ever touch on it again i feel like that happens to me all the time yeah i think the last time it happened to me was sekiro i went through half of that game without realizing you could do like

a dash move by by clicking B. And that's a tough game. There's a boss that I could not escape his area of effect attack. Like I try to run away and it almost always get me. And I was like, this is fucking impossible. I didn't realize I just didn't know how to deal with it. That was the issue. It wasn't that it was poorly designed i was probably 30 hours into cyberpunk before gavin mentioned double jump to me and i found out that that was a thing and that changed the whole game yeah it totally changes the way you travel you have to buy that though right yeah yeah it's like an upgrade yeah yeah so i mean that's a little different like you didn't start with that you also missed a mechanic in outer wilds andrew i can't remember

what it was but that was like i think you found you found the ending without learning how to do something do you remember what i'm talking about i'm trying not to spoil it don't yeah i'm trying to yeah i'm trying to remember because it's a game you can only play once really it's like it's all about the discovery so i'm not going to say what it was but you were you like did a thing without recognizing the bit that teaches you how to do that yeah whereas i found the thing that teaches you and i was like wow i'm gonna go try that because i would i was stuck on that part that was like during a time where they're like every game i seem to miss like a huge mechanic yeah like fast travel and control yeah i didn't i didn't know the fast travel control and i got through i beat ghost recon

breakpoint before realizing you had like a special you could do if you push like both bumpers or whatever. You had like a, you'd go into like a special mode like in Destiny. Not quite that elaborate, but like I just didn't know. Dude, Barbara didn't know there was fast travel in Skyrim. I remember that being a big thing. She was like, she was spending a lot of fucking time

traveling around that map. God, that must like triple or quadruple the amount of time you'd spend in that game. Yeah, but you'd probably level up like a motherfucker because you'd have encounters every 10 minutes, right? You'd kill the frost trolls in the world. Speaking of things we don't know about, I feel like we have to discuss our Twitter account. What a fantastic reveal that was. I don't know if everyone you don't know about this i'm familiar with what you're talking about i wasn't okay i i didn't know

that we were going to discuss it or not but we'd look oh i feel well well no like did did you not see the person is handing off the account now yeah i saw the whole thing okay great one of the reasons they mentioned is because i started following them on Twitter. There's a f***face pod Twitter account, Gavin. And Instagram. Yeah, and Instagram. But we control the Instagram. But the Twitter was a thing that just popped up one day. I was like, I don't know who runs that.

And they just were making posts. They'd take the Instagram posts. They'd make their own posts. They did content for it. They're regularly updating it. It seemed very official but uh i i thought i asked eric do you know who runs this account eric had no idea i asked jeff jeff didn't know i was like oh i guess just somebody's running this account that's really funny i really thought

it was andrew no so you thought each other were running to eric no i no i thought we i remembered having a conversation about it and i thought we I remembered having a conversation about it. And I thought we must have. I remember talking about it. So it must be legit and on the up and up. Well, yeah, it's I'm pretty sure Andrew's running it. It's whatever I I knew it was community run. And that's why I didn't follow it. And then when you started following the account, I was like, well, I guess I'll just follow it to that.

I guess we're all on board. This is fine. There's somebody in the community is doing this. I had no idea who it was. They recently just came forward because they reached 10,000 followers. They've been doing this for seven months and they kept waiting for us to call them out for it. And we just never did.

They're committed to the bit. Oh my God. That's such an amazing problem to have. Just like a bunch of people shrugging me like i mean it's working yeah like they were doing an amazing job they posted constantly it was great yeah i it really was like i don't know who runs that that's probably a thing we should take care of but whatever like they're doing awesome i was just like i was just like we're not talking about it but andrew's doing

a really good job so i'll just let him keep doing it i didn't realize that you thought i did it i thought we're all aboard and we're okay with i definitely know it wasn't one of us i thought you ran it no not at all so we've had this twitter account that like has existed for seven months and just crossed 10 000 they essentially were like i the panic mode for them was when Jeff started following them. And then the second one was, I guess, they did a port-a-potty post and the official Rooster Teeth account tagged them in the post. I like that we work for a company

where there are several staff members just to deal with social media and none of those people are involved either. No, I like that. It appears like it wasn't even a conversation amongst them of like who is doing this. Eric says you should see the Face Jam Instagram. Why should we see it?

Yeah, what does that mean? Sorry, I knocked over my mouse. There is a Face Jam Instagram account that for a month and a half, I had to convince Lewis that we didn't own or run. And no matter how many times I said, yeah, we don't have an Instagram account. He's like, no, I don't know what to do in that situation. But it's exactly like this where nobody runs it look at how many people that work for our company follow the face jam instagram account it is the same thing this is

wild i can't believe this happened with two fucking shows that i have anything to do with this is ridiculous amazing for such for a company that was so involved in the internet from such an early time, you know with internet companies, that's amazing that we don't, that so many people are clueless to it. You know what's even funnier to me is that, well I mean I guess as of now, we absolutely

run that Twitter account. Yeah. You know, because we're fucking professionals. We don't have it yet. But we'll get it. By the time this episode comes out, we will have because we're fucking professionals. We don't have it yet, but we'll get it. By the time this episode comes out, we will have had it forever. Yeah. However, the thing that's craziest to me is that we do operate some Twitter accounts that the audience has no idea about.

Like, like, we do have some stuff out there that we do. Like, there are Twitter accounts related to face that exist out there that the audience has not found. You know, it's funny is one of them. You can tell when my phone broke because I was tweeting on it every day and then the tweets just stopped. That is my phone died. It's marked through that. You have secret face related Twitter accounts.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have a few. Yeah. He probably has. He probably has the ones I don't even know of, but I know of a few. There's a few.

There's not. I won't say anything. There's a few. There's a few that exist. Now I'm suspicious. Yeah. You know, they're show related. You know, one other thing I will say, this is a bit of a side again, going back to the

bathroom stuff. But I will say, Andrew, we talk about audience being surprised. The audience was definitely surprised that you filled your bathtub while you were in it i was surprised at how many people came to your defense in terms of smashing up a cupcake in a bowl there were a lot of people out there that were like absolutely i do that too uh everybody does that totally normal uh that seemed weird to me but uh but the audience really had your back on that one so congratulations there i heard people suggesting and i never even considered this ripping the bottom part of the cupcake off and then putting that on top and making like a cupcake sandwich that's an interesting idea that is an interesting idea i mean i just

don't understand though what i get people just don't like cupcakes oh sure eric does it it's this it's a failed format for most people i don't understand why people don't like cupcakes i enjoy the cupcake a lot if you have to modify it then it's not right is it reinvent it make sandwiches i would never buy though what i have in a bowl like i would not pay money for that but i would pay for a bowl of bush no it looks disgusting but it's like you're distributing the icing amongst the rest of the cake evenly. I get it. I totally get it. Yeah, it's a great thing.

Guess you're increasing the surface area to staleness, so that's probably why you couldn't sell it that way. Sure. It just would look disgusting. It's not visually appealing in any way. Yeah, I just I wanted to make sure we shut it out. I think his Twitter account is like solar 424 or something that ran our Twitter. The face Twitter did a did a great job running. Fantastic job. Thanks, solar 424.

Really kicked the shit out of that for us. Appreciate it. I have one other thing I need to talk about that. I I'm sorry. Like this is I'm you might be disappointed, especially you, Gavin. I don't know if my fire extinguisher is going to work. Uh-oh. Why? Yeah.

Well, because I didn't realize this, but when you use a fire extinguisher, what you do, you pull the pin, and then you use it. You're not supposed to pull the pin until usage time. I pulled the pin the day of our very first recording

so my the fire extinguisher has been armed the entire time every episode we've done the pin it just makes it's a safety squeeze the handle it's like it's just a safety yeah yeah but okay so there's a pressure gauge on my fire extinguisher and it is deep in the red recharge zone. So I think this entire time, it's just been depressurizing slowly. I'm pretty sure you just got partially filled or like depleted. I don't think the pin has anything to do with that, though.

Yeah, no, he's right. Fire extinguishers don't maintain a charge forever. You need to get them recharged like at the fire department or some shit pretty, like every two years or something. So it probably just lost pressure naturally over time i see so me pulling the pin had no

no because that's just like a little cotter pin that's not doing anything other than stopping you from hitting it accidentally got it okay well i feel less bad about that i had to pull the pin because it's where i could attach the pop filter onto the thing. It's the only part that would work and it wouldn't fit with the pin in there. Yeah, so I had to pull the pin. You know, Eric brings up a good point. If it's deep in the red, it's probably not going to work anyway. You could squeeze it right now.

Yeah, just see the range on it. It'd be good to get a benchmark of how far red goes compared to how far green. You can't do it multiple times. You get one shot and I'm not going... That's not true. I think that is true. What is this, episode 48? Alright, you got four fucking weeks to figure it out, dude. You gotta hit that

button in 52. I have a plan. I worked it out already. I have an idea for how to make this work. Well, you're gonna shoot it into a bag, though, aren't you? It's not gonna... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I had a realization. I'm not gonna spoil it, but I have a way that I think this will work. Okay.

And I need to put it together, but I have a thought. I don't see how this could fail. You have a contraption you're going to construct. A thing will need to be built, yeah. Yes. I'm trying to, judged off previous face bits,

I'm trying to decide whether or not I'm going to get excited about this or not. Am I going to get my hopes up about this or is it going to be a salad cream? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I guess what I'm trying to figure out is, well, I feel confident and that you feel one way about it and then just edit yourself out of it later. That's where my head is at with that.

I can only control me. Four weeks. Four episodes. Oh, before we end this, and we should end it so I can go do anything else other than this. Damn.

Yeah. This is a joke. I got nothing else to do. We should talk about baseball bats. Gav, you weren't there. We had a meeting with Merch right before this episode. There's been an update on the knob situation. It was fine Gav, you weren't there. We had a meeting with Merch right before this episode. There's been an update

on the knob situation. It was fine. However, you know, where we left off with the knob issue is that we were having trouble finding somebody to create just knobs for

us. I made a suggestion that I could denob the bats myself with a chop saw. Great suggestion. Love that. Agree. Then you made the suggestion I was going to chop saw. Great suggestion. Love that. Agree. Then you made the suggestion I was going to do 500.

You made the suggestion that we probably need 1,000 because previous bat iterations have sold so quickly. We want it to be on sale for longer than 60 seconds. I think also it was the phrase 1,000 knob drop, right? 1,000 knob drop. And then somebody in the comments had a brilliant idea, which was similar to an idea that I think we had actually in the episode about trying to pair up knobs to their bats and ways to do that.

But Henry's barking. Damn. Fucking no idea. Maybe a mailman or something. Just go for it, buddy. Just keep going. Anyway, so the reality is, is that a fucking baseball bat is expensive to ship.

And a thousand baseball bats shipping to my house is going to cost more than we could, just to get them here so that I can cut them up, would cost more probably than we could ever hope to sell them for. I'm struggling to see how it could be that expensive to ship a thousand bats. They're just, it's a lot of wood, man.

It's a lot of size man it's a lot of size it's pallets worth and so what we settled on is maybe we'll get a thousand maybe we'll get nine get a thousand bats made and i will get a hundred sent to me then i'll i'll lob off the knob on a hundred put in a tag on each one to number one through 100. We found these little metal tags that I can hammer in to make it nice. And then you'll have like a one in 10 chance when you buy a knob of getting one that I made. Does that make sense? But so you're not making the knobs anymore? I'm going to make 100 out of the 1,000.

So what's the other 900? They're just going to go straight to the, I guess, they're just going to be knobs. They're no bats? They're just going to go straight to the... They're just going to be knobs. They're no bats. They're just knobs. Why not just knob them all and then give you... I don't understand that at all. If the other 900 are going to be knobbed, why not just give those

to you? What am I going to do with knobbed bats? What are you going to do with the ones that you've got again? I'm going to make them. I'm going to knob them. I'm going to knob 100, and then the other ones will just be made as knobs. So we're going to get 900 knobs and 100 bats. And then I'm going to make...

It's not convoluted. It's easy. But if we can make the knobs, just make 1,000 knobs. Oh, so I don't have to do any? Yeah. Oh, I thought the audience wanted my misery. But if I don't have to do any? Yeah. Oh, I thought the audience wanted my misery, but if I don't have to make a knob,

if I don't have to make a knob, I'm not going to make a knob. That's even better. You just let me out. No, Gavin's right. Gavin's right. We're going to get a thousand knobs made. I don't have to touch shit.

Problem solved. This is an awesome idea, Gavin. Not what I'm saying at all. Knob a thousand bats. 100% what you're saying. Ship all 1,000 to Jeff for him to sign or whatever. Fuck you.

I already signed stuff. No. I'll knob a bat. Andrew's not signed shit. I'll knob a bat, but I'm not going to, for a reason. But I can't do 1,000

because it's too expensive to get here. So I'll knob 100 bats and those will be special bats and you'll have a 1 in 10 chance of getting a special bat when you buy your bat. I just freight shipped

something that weighs way more than 1,000 bats. And it wasn't absurd. I think it can be done. I think that you should talk to the merch department and show up to the meetings if you want to have a say. I, uh... What if you did 1,000 nails? What about that? Or whatever you're gonna hammer in is that

impossible i'm just throwing that out there it's just that i'm just also if we ship a full-size bat to an audience member it's gonna be like 20 just in shipping cost on top of yeah that's very expensive buying stuff online works though big things cost more to ship that's just how it works but i don't want to make somebody pay a hundred bucks for a fucking baseball bat. I'm with Jeff on this. But I feel like there's maybe a middle. And they just want the knob, man.

They don't want the knobless bat. They just want the knob. So why don't we just give them the knob and just get only knobs made? That way we're saving some treats. Yeah, make a thousand knobs, ship them to Jeff. Jeff burns them signs and whatever we're not talking about burning anything that's that's off the table dude i agreed to cut knobs i will cut a hundred no no no that's you can brand a thousand no i thought you're gonna do a nail

thing i can i will do the nail thing on top of that but i'm not gonna do a thousand nails there's no point in it the whole idea of the nail was that we had a knobless bat and we had a knob, right? And before I separated the two, I put a little tag. I hammered a little metal tag into the knob that said 0008. And then I numbered a little tag into the top of the bat that said 008. Then when I cut it, they go into two different piles. And then maybe you buy a knob and maybe you buy a knobless bat and you end up with two different ones.

And then maybe you enter in the thing online and be like, hey, I've got knob 26. Is knobless bat 26 out there? And then you make a fucking friend and you become knob twins or whatever. But I don't think that's going to be possible because bats are too fucking weighty and expensive.

So we're just going to do knobs, which is all the audience wants anyway. But I think that the audience really latches on to the misery index of it with me and so I'm agreeing

to make to be I'll be miserable making a hundred knobs I would have been way more miserable making a thousand it's just logistically

very difficult to get what's worse making a hundred knobs or branding a thousand knobs well I'd have to make a hundred knobs and brand those hundred knobs so I'd say it's probably

wait so six and a half dozen what what why what do you want so you're not nailing the knobs you're nailing the the knobless bats that was the idea for that i'll nail the knobs too yeah okay well then that's what i'm saying i'll be honest my my discord crashed in the middle of that and i don't i don't know most of what you just said. I mean, to be fair to you, I've been here the whole time. It's still confusing. There's constant knob talk and I feel like people are saying bats when they should be saying knobs. I just think you could brand a thousand knobs

easier than making a hundred bat knobs. But nobody wants me to brand a thousand knobs. They wanted me to make knobs. Why not? That's really annoying. That's blood and sweat in there. Eric. Oh, hold on a second.

I got an idea. Thanks for listening to F*** Face episode 48. Really appreciate it. If you want to go ahead and let a friend know about this podcast, we could really use it. Maybe buy a t-shirt or a hat. We got some knobs coming in the future. They may or may not be branded. Either way, at a minimum,

you're going to have a 1 in 10 chance of getting a knob made by Jeff. At least that's what I'm thinking. Also, we got a little surprise dropping at the end of the month for you guys in terms of content. So keep your eyes open for that. And as always, write a review

and hopefully we'll see you next week. Thanks a lot, everybody. Nick, go ahead and roll that outro music. Yeah, follow the Twitter as well. Oh, yeah, let's get the Twitter up. Our Instagram's got like 30,000 subscribers or something. We should catch that Twitter up, especially now that we're not fucking around with Twitter anymore.

So who's running it?