F**kface - Johnny Horizon // Sleep Re-education [45]

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about inhaling popcorn, a Nick intro, mail crime, Nick and Eric hang out, philly cheese steakout, Andrew's trophy reveal, dickhead calisthenics, Olympic of Costco Guys, Smashing Sportsman, Johnny Horizon, friends with Snoopy, Root Bear, Chilly Dog, Meg the Andrew Sympathizer, eating speed, Andrew's CPAP, and Mario Party March. Sponsored by ZocDoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/regulation and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Also sponsored by Factor. Thanks Factor! Go to FACTORMEALS.com/FACTORPODCAST and use code FACTORPODCAST to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping on your first box. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to Regulation Podcast episode number 45. I'm your temporary host, The Mechanic, joined by baby Pepsi, Gassy Goo, Gizmo, and Lil Ricky B. As always, thanks for joining us this week. Guys, did you know that you can inhale popcorn? Yeah? Yeah. Oh, I'm trying.

You can eat it through your lung? What do you mean? Yeah, so if you're eating it and you like, and take it in wrong, if you inhale at the moment, you can take a kernel and suck it into your lungs. Are you afraid of the seed? Yeah. Uh, like the little bit in the middle, not, I mean, you could probably do a whole one if you wanted to, but the bit in the middle of the, the bit in the middle is the bit that you eat though. Well, yeah, but you can also inhale it. Yeah, it's light as air.

Right. So you'll say you can inhale a whole kernel? You can inhale a whole kernel and can get very sick and apparently it's fixing it. Yeah, and then corn grows in your stomach and you die. I heard about this. Now, Nick, is there corn growing in your stomach right now? Not at the moment, no, but I did also,

listen, my wife is on a big kick about learning about foods because you know kids and eating all that stuff and the other thing apparently you can die on the easiest is a hot dog. Y'all are eating kids? What? I said kids and eating. Kids and eating, eating kids? Eating kids. So you're just, your wife's looking for things not to feed Archie so he doesn't die? Essentially we did find out because he had his first hot dog this past weekend. I was pretty proud and excited. I'm going to get him a counter here pretty soon. Make sure he keeps up with the rest of us.

But apparently that's the craziest kids like three. You know, some of you your 80 hot dogs or what? No, but this is great because most people don't know how many hot dogs they've eaten in their life. And that's true you actually could. He gets to start from scratch. That's pretty cool. Gives him life stats on dogs.

Insane. Oh my god. Teach him from an early age about the lifetime hot dog counter and how it's his responsibility to keep up with it. It does make sense though that you're most likely to choke on a dog because eating a hot dog is like eating an inverse throat. Yes. It's the, it's the exact same size as your throat. So most people like cut it down the middle, which is why some restaurants serve it that way. And some restaurants just

serve it that way because they cook it that way. Otherwise you're just eating a cooked throat plug. It is. It's like the pile to the hole. How high would you say Archie could count? Nick? I don't know. 20s. He's ahead of you, Andrew. 80s, 90s. I just I appreciate that Archie lives in a world. I don't know. Remember the Mr. Show sketch where like 23 is the highest number that's going to be Archie. He's going to have 23 hot dogs in a calendar year.

And be like, that's it. I've gone the highest. I've peaked. If I eat another hot dog, it just isn't a number. We have to invent something else. If you said I had 23 hot dogs left to eat total, I think I'd be fine with that. Like in your life. Yeah, that would mean that you lived 5000 years. You went to a one dollar hot dog night and had one hot dog. Gavin just found his secret to immortality.

Just never eat the twenty third dog. It'll be 50 years before you eat the third dog for Christ's sake. Nick, I got to say, buddy, that I thought that was a fantastic intro. Anytime you want to step in and do the intro again, it's the floor is yours. Really, you know, when I have a factoid next. All right. It reminded me of Kermit the Frog a little bit for some reason. I don't know why, but it kind of gave me some Kermit vibes on the puppet show. And I liked it.

Well, I kind of don't want to do it now, I guess. I don't know. Welcome to regulation podcast. I think Nick is really on top of the world. That was crazy. After that intro, but also he's given away the fact that he's not wearing the mask. So I feel like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Kind of a trick.

We tricked you there a little bit, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Kind of a trick. We tricked you there a little bit. Yeah. Is that what you thought? Curbit, the frog sounded like Nick. No. Sounds like the orangutan that show we watch. Are you Mr. Smith? Goin' to Washington baby!

Comet's last name is actually Smith. Oh Christ. What do you guys want to talk about today? Does anybody have anything on their list? Are you kidding? You guys have been locked and loaded all week. Somebody just throw something out there. Well I got two things but I want to give everybody else the floor first. Gavin last time we recorded said he didn't hit any of his notes. I feel like Gavin should. Loaded all week somebody just throw something out there well I got two things, but I want to give everybody else the floor first right now

I Gavin last time we recorded said he didn't hit any of his notes I feel like Gavin should Gavin lead it with us off legs mail my semen to every house. What do I mean? Alright so no more Gavin notes ever Seamen to every no let's let's linger on this for a minute. Let's think about this. Oh no, this is my crime thing. Like if my semen was everywhere, I could never be caught for crime. But then I realized all of the semen based crimes are really not fun.

Yeah, why would you want to cover up a semen based crime? It would make more sense if you decided to go touch a doorknob at every house in America. Yeah, like it should be mailing my fingerprints to every house. But you took it to sexual assault pretty quickly. It could have also been murder, I guess. Have you seen the town? Remember how like they do the heist and then they like get a bunch of different hair from a barber shop of like various people to like fuck up the DNA. Like what you're suggesting is like a bag of cum, but it's a bunch of different dudes

cum. Throw the cum bomb in. So it's like there's an orgy of dudes here. How do we whose DNA is whose? I was just trying to get, I was just trying to blanket my DNA. Yeah. I don't think, cause what you're actually doing with your initial suggestion is putting yourself as a suspect in every single crime

Yeah, but it'll be like oh, it's this guy again is clear. Yeah, I can build a reputation They would get real sick at interviewing you after about two weeks Where were you last night you I was here being interviewed by you How did his come get to California Insane. Gavin, what else you got besides cum? I want to know, because Nick is a freak, right? And we've been learning this a lot more recently.

I want to know if Nick and Eric ever just hang out one on one. When have we done that? When have we... Very different answers. Very different answers. I invited you to a soccer game, but you weren't able to go, which was also good because I wasn't able to go because it felt like I got hit by a bus.

Wait, what? That was on Saturday, so. That was barbecue day. Yeah, that was a lot. But we've gone to basketball games. Yeah, and we used to go to lunch when we were all in the same office. Yep.

But just you and him at lunch. Yeah. Just the two of you. Yeah, we've done stuff like that before. Yeah, me and Nick get along really well. We're sports guys. We have stuff that we can talk about like that forever. Would you be willing to do it again for us and record the,

not even wanna watch, I just wanna listen to the conversation. You guys just put a zoom recorder down. Sure. But how much more fun would it be if we were in like a different car park with binoculars and we could we had a mic on that table? Is that what you think fun is? Is that what you do for fun? Is that so? Yes.

How do we record? No, no, I'm into this. I'm 100 percent into this. How do we record the binoculars view? Oh, you can get binoculars with a sensor in, I think. Oh, like smart binoculars. Yeah. Ooh. Can we do a bird's eye lunch of Nick and Eric

where we get smart binoculars? Can we actually do this? This could be a supplemental. Yeah, I mean, I don't know that it's a very good supplemental, but we could definitely do it. Well, it could be, we could all be Mike's like Jeff and I could sometimes talk about what you guys are talking about Why do you want to cut their lunch? Yeah? Lunch cucks, I think they're cooking themselves

We could bring a couple of light pack lunches to watch you eat. Yeah, once again, this is only makes it weirder. I feel like this is you've you've turned this into a weird you thing. No, it'd be like a steak out podcast. Yes. Yes. This is a steak out podcast. Speaking of steaks, we should get steaks. You guys watch us through the window. Yeah, I'm probably getting steaks. I feel like a key part of the steak out is that the people being steak

aren't aware of the steak out. Well, here's here's the thing. Maybe they wouldn't know which lunch with Pervin on. Also, Andrew, sometimes in the movie, they are aware of the steak out and they're feeding false information. So we don't know. Someone could be sneaking around behind us and putting a banana up our car. Here's what we do. They exactly I so fully stop. They they eat steak for lunch.

We watch and record while we eat Philly cheesesteaks in the car. Philly cheesesteak out. Yeah. I feel like she's taken. I love this because I'm just fascinated to find out what you talk about. I'm going to put it on. I'm going to put it on the idealist. Yeah, yeah, put it.

Yeah. Let's let's really find it hard to imagine what Nick and Eric would talk about. I feel like it's so easy. Yeah, that's I think more a reflection of you than them. Well, Gavin's not like a sports guy. That's what I'm saying. Like, I think he just doesn't get that. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think I've ever spoken to anyone about sport. Interesting. That's what I'm saying. I think it's a deeper well than you're realizing. I think it's going to be a fascinating window into the relationship of the two of your general interest, Gavin, which would you say you'd be able to talk the longest about? Just like you're dropped in a scenario. What is the most ideal thing? You end up in a lunch with somebody that you don't really know.

What subject could you go the longest on? Well, I don't even know if he's ever going to do that. He could talk about his RVB fandom. So you say what sport or what subject in general? What subjects? Because Nick and Eric have sports. That's like they could just go forever on that. That's easy radio. Yeah. Radio. You get I'm saying for you, what would be your equivalent of sports socially?

But who am I talking to? Anybody? It doesn't really matter. Someone that like what is in the same way that you're like, I don't know what they'll talk about. And we're saying they talk sports. It's really easy to talk sports. What would be the subject that would be your sports? What is your sports? Movies, games? Movies, games, okay. Cameras, I would feel like you could talk about frame rate.

Yeah! Wow, 60, 30. Log, reciprocity. Who's gonna talk to me about frame rate, though? Some person that we're inventing. 120? Oh my God, 59.9? Tell me, teach me.

Oh, maybe this is what I'll talk to Nick about if we ever have lunch. Yeah! Oh, let's have lunch. That's got to be and we have to record that because that's your show, right? We have to figure out what your show is. Yeah. You guys are going to have lunch. We have to be in a car outside watching binoculars recording it.

I think of all of the people on the show. It is easily Gavin and Nick are the one that I'm most interested in. 100 percent. I'm not sure where that would go. It's the combination that's had the least time. Yes. Maybe this show is just every iteration of all of us eating lunch.

And then once we get through it, then the series is over. Eric, when you and I eat lunch together, I'm going to endeavor not to open my mouth to speak at the entire time. Why? A silent lunch. Why would we do that? Because I think you and I could pull it off.

Oh. I think you and I could pull it off. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Yeah, man, I got some other great ideas for you guys today, too. Woo hoo hoo. Oh, well, Gavin's trying to mail us come, so it's got to be better than that. Right. Yeah, absolutely. Speaking of receiving things in the mail, we had a great loss that you guys don't know about. I lost something for the show for us that I bought. I was excited to share in a better way than the way in which I'm doing it now. But I'm thinking about content coming out in the future. You're going to get this. Trust me. Trust me. No question.

This is something I wanted to reveal in a better way. I can't question it. I don't know what the fuck you said. I said that I'm revealing it now. I wanted to reveal this in better terms than the terms that I am. But I bought something because we were coming up on when we would do another big movie battle and to add to the excitement of the battle, I wanted to get trophies.

So we'd have something on the line. Ooh. So I've been looking at different things I could use as a trophy and I ordered something that I thought would be the absolute best prize to receive if you came in dead last and That is me. We put a photo of it in her chat Is it a vial of Gavin's cum? You know what surprisingly hard to find considering it was mailed everywhere. I couldn't get it

So no it is An even more rare item of a graded copy of the big bounce on VHS that is still sealed. What's the what's the big bounce? That's the trophy. Yes. The last I thought nothing would better represent last place than a mid 2000s crime comedy on VHS that sealed and graded. The bad news of why I'm unveiling this now is it was stolen from my doorstop. Well, still, you know, and I just cannot I keep thinking about it ever since it happened that somebody somebody stole a package from my front door,

assuming something of value would be in it and to open it, to discover the big bounce on VHS. Braided. I just I really just want to know what's going on in their head. I wonder if they thought it would have value because it is graded. It cost $30 to buy that. I've never seen a graded thing be cheaper. So I was very excited to have this, but it's gone.

So I would stole the big bounce. How do you know it's stolen? Uh, I don't know. You should check eBay Canada to see if that magically shows up in the next couple of days. I should. But I'm glad that you guys don't really know what the big bounce is. It's a movie I remember renting when it came out and not liking. And that's all I remember about it.

This movie came out in 2004 and it looks like something I wouldn't like then, nor would I like it now. You know, like the Hawaiian shirts we got going on on this front box is it is really something, man. Yeah. Owen Wilson, Morgan Freeman, Gary Sinise, Sarah Foster. Hang on. Not done. Willie Nelson, Vinnie Jones, Charlie. Vinnie Jones. Oh, we got to see it now. I feel like this is Willie Nelson's film era between The Big Bounce and The Duke's Hazard.

Like I think he really, 2004 was the year he took a swing at it. Total runtime, 88 minutes. I want to watch it. Oh, that's a bad movie. That is a bad sign. That's great. 88 minutes, that's my kind of movie.

Yeah, I mean, that's cool. You know it's a bad movie though. Wow. Yeah, yeah. 85 minutes is the perfect movie length. It's so close. I wonder what percentage of our audience has seen this. Less than one percent.

Let us know in the comments. We'll do a poll or something, but let us know in the comments. Budget 50 million box office, six point eight. Oh, my God, that's huge names in that. That yeah, an Elmer Leonard adaption. I don't know if I've ever even seen like a trailer for this. Nothing about this is familiar to me. Vinnie Jones probably made more money that week playing football.

You think the number one review is the big snooze is the title of it. It's just, yeah. So I'm on the hunt again, essentially is the moral of the story. I think it's hilarious that somebody stole this. And I would have loved to have seen the reaction. Now I'm back looking to find the last place trophy. You got a few other things lined up for it that I'll reveal when we get closer. But last place, if anyone finds anything really dumb that is movie memorabilia, I guess put it in the comments.

Let me know. I'd love to see it. Not a lot of trivia for this film either. Jeremy Renner was offered a role in this film, but turned it down to the SWAT, which is the only other Jeremy Renner movie I could think of from that time. Giving me facts about the big bounce. There's not a lot of facts to give about the big bands. I don't know what the big bounce is.

You're telling me. The original novel, Eric, is set in Windswept, Michigan. For this abidantation, George Armitage shifted the location to the more amenable Hawaii. Why are we still talking about this? Why? I don't wanna talk about the big bounce anymore. I hate the about this. What? I don't want to talk about the big bounce anymore. I hate the big bounce.

You have a stake in it? Do you have a S-T-E-A-K in it? Yeah. Jeff, do one of your new content ideas involve bouncing? It could. I stumbled on some. I was in the lab a little bit this weekend, and I think I backed my way into inventing

an entire new workout genre that I am very excited to share with y'all. I was at Costco, as I am, once a week, every week of my life, it is one of my favorite places, but I don't like that other people go to Costco. I don't like other people in general. Other people at Costco are extra bad for some reason. It's like the combination of the two,

it just makes like, it's like chocolate and peanut butter into dickheads, right? So while I was leaving Costco with a giant shopping cart full of shit and cars are, there was a line of cars behind me, it's the thing that they always do. I don't know if you've been to the Costcos in Austin. I'm sure it's the same everywhere, but a parking place, I would pay for one at the Costco in Austin.

I have to park like three stores over sometimes to go to the Costco that we go to because it's so fucking crowded all the time. And while I was walking out, I was pushing my cart, it was pretty heavy, I was thinking, this is kind of a workout. And I was thinking about how much I fucking hate working out and I have to trick myself into working out.

Riding bikes is how I trick myself into working out these days, right? But that doesn't give me any kind of like upper body strength and I was like, it's almost like a workout pushing this cart off of pushed it long enough and then I thought this asshole behind me is just waiting for me to get to my car so that I can load it up

and back out and leave and then he can take my parking space. If I just keep walking, how long is this guy gonna follow me? I invented dickhead calisthenics. Here's what we do. We go to Costco and Walmart parking lots on Saturdays or the mall where it's very crowded. We take a shopping cart,

we fill it up with heavy, non-perishable items, even bring weights from home if you want to. And then you just push a shopping cart up and down rows for 20 minutes straight while people queue up behind you thinking that you're going to a parking space, but you're not. You're just getting a workout. You're making them miserable, getting in shape,

and making yourself happy all at the same time. This is how I can trick myself into working out. And I bet there's a lot of other dickheads out there in the world that would work out if they thought it was inconveniencing someone else. Wait, so somebody is following you looking for a space? Yeah, like when you're walking through the parking lot and you're pushing your car and there's a car behind you and they think that you're going to go and unload. So they follow behind you so that when you unload your car back out, they can swoop in

and take the space. But you just never do that. You just keep going up and down the roads. And if and they're like, oh, this guy must not know where his car is. He must have got lost. Sucks to be him. But they're still following you. They're still following you.

You're going to waste five or six minutes of their time before they realize you're never gonna find your car. And then the next car will come up immediately and be like, oh, I just saw a guy, he's at the end of the parking lot with a full shopping cart. I'm about to get his space. But you're not, because I'm going all the way back to the front of the parking lot,

and then I'm going all the way back to the end of the parking lot again. And after, I don't know, enough reps, I will have gotten a workout. My misery index will be through the roof because I've made you people unhappy. And I can go home sated that I've worked out my mind, my soul and my body.

Now, I love this idea. I think this is fantastic. My only thing, and I would love to know if it's just a, it could be a Canadian thing. It could be a community I live in thing for size. This has never been a thing that has occurred or has been a thing that I've even considered doing. This happens every parking lot in America every day.

Like you, you when you can't find a space, you just keep going until you find one. Yeah. And you'll see a car backing out and you'll be like, oh, great. This will be my space. And then sometimes there may be conflict if someone tries to steal that, if another vehicle shows up. But just following someone on foot seems like such a unnecessary move because like, why are you being married to this one person here in a store? Because this person is a guaranteed parking spot.

They're driving towards their car. They're walking towards their car. They've already completed their groceries. Their shopping cart is full. You know if you stay behind this person and they're on an aisle, you know they're headed to the somewhere on that aisle. I'm surprised you've never seen this. This happens to me every day of my life. It's like explaining clouds.

Yeah, that's what I think is interesting. I don't know. As I said, it'd be interesting to know if it's cultural. Am I crazy? I'd like to hear from the other three. Are you guys understanding what I'm saying? Or do you align with Andrew's never having seen somebody follow a person in a parking lot for a space? And just to be clear, I completely get where you're coming from. It's just not something that I have seen or would consider as a driver.

Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about, Jeff. Exactly. Yeah. I think it could be a size of my community thing, because the Costco is annoying to get a space at. But if you just keep driving, you will find one within five minutes in that parking lot. But what about Gavin? Do you understand this also? Yeah. OK, because you don't drive. So I was just curious.

I've been a passenger. I've been in a car. I just feel like most places I go, though, you just park at the back. Just like go, just drive far away. That's what I do. Go to Costco and park at the back. There is no back. It's full. Yeah.

I've only been once. Yep. What? You've only been to Costco once? Yeah. What? Really? That's enough for him.

I mean, he doesn't drive like go get lunch. You want to go get lunch? Yes. The stakeout will be on the move because they couldn't part Gavin and Nick should have to go get lunch at a Costco because here's like what Gavin's saying is right. Yeah. Just go park in the back away from everything. Whatever. But that doesn't stop everyone else. And I think that's, I think those are the comments that we'll get on something like this where it's like, well, I just park in the back. It's like, right. Then this doesn't apply to you.

This applies to every other person trying to park in the front, like the closest parking spot. But there are no spots in the back at Costco. I'm telling you, I was there Sunday. We drove around for 12 minutes before like I had to park at a Marshall's. It was Costco Whole Foods Marshall's I had to park at the Marshall's and walk through the Marshall's and the Whole Foods and Into the Costco parking lot to get a space. I would have happily parked in the back I would have happily dude at the Costco where I go to people park on the fucking grass Next to trees to go there. There are these spaces you're talking about don't exist.

That's so interesting. It's a whole point of this. I have been to like a Best Buy car parks before, though, with Americans, and they'll just do four or five loops of the front trying to get a real close spot and just be driving past 150 empty spots just slightly further away. Just just throw the car somewhere. I'm right there with you, dude. Get a little bit of exercise go walk

I like to walk That's why I want to invent this game where the job the whole point of the job is to walk up and down the aisles Yeah, I think a lot of Americans on the daily will park as though it's raining even when it's not Additionally, this is just the first this is just the first exercise. I've come up with. I think that this is kind of a thought starter. This is kind of a, hey, do it, try it on for size, see who it is. Oh, cool, I got a workout. I got to be a little bit of a dickhead.

It served both purposes. How else can I apply this ideology to working out and find other ways that you can be a dickhead to other people while getting a workout yourself? I'd love to hear it. In a multi-story building, you watch someone go into a lift and then you run up the stairs and you hit the button on every floor from the outside.

Wow. Until you're on the top and you get your cardio in. Oh wow. I love that. Oh wow, Gavin. That is great. That's exactly what we're talking about. That is dickhead calisthenics to a T. Yeah. And that is brilliant.

That's block two. When was the last time you thought you needed to go to a doctor, but you pushed it off for any of a myriad of reasons? You're very busy. It'll sort itself out on its own. I don't actually need the help. I don't even know who my doctor is. It's been so long since I've been to a doctor or any of a million other reasons

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That is Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash regulation. Zocdoc.com slash regulation. All right, it's Q and A time. One cue from me to you. Do you end up getting takeout more than you would like? I know personally I do. My wife and I actually have sworn off takeout for the next 60 days. We're not doing it.

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Like, is the culture around navigating on foot in a vehicle or in an area with vehicles different? Because I find that jarring whenever I was in Austin. How is it jarring for you? Like nobody nobody waits for you to cross. You have to declare that as the walker. Are you talking about just on a crossing or just anyway? Just on a crossing generally, I'd say here. It is a thing where if you're standing to cross, a car will stop almost immediately.

Where in Austin, it felt like I had to declare that I was crossing. Well, the light usually tells you in an environment without a light, I guess. Jesus Christ. OK. Well, yeah, in England, this is the zebra crossings, which they have to stop. OK. So there's certain crossings where you could just walk across immediately. But it depends on where you are. I was just trying to like equate to just Casca thing of like once again, I don't know if it is a different culture or if it is just a I live in a smaller

population area. So it's just different. I think you live in a small town that doesn't have a lot of traffic, probably. But Austin is the 11th largest city in America. Yeah, that's it would definitely be different. But it's also I mean, there are layers of culture. Costco just a general nightmare. Yeah, I wonder what the worst Costco is like as far as what countries Costco is the most annoying. Is there a global brand?

I would assume, right. There's cost is everywhere around the world. There are there. I know they're in Japan at least. I bet you Costco Japan is great. Yeah, I've heard I've heard Costco Japan's pretty cool. And if you have like your Costco membership from the U.S., it gets you in there also. Yeah. And they have like fresh sushi that they make in house and stuff. That's supposed to be really good.

You know, you in there also. Yeah. And they have like fresh sushi that they make in house and stuff. That's supposed to be really good. Yep. Austin is the 11th largest city, according to this list. 12th is Jacksonville. Yeah, it's like Metro. It's like metropolitan area. Yeah, that's just I just wouldn't I would if you would have asked me, where does Jacksonville rank? I would have been like 55. Like, yeah, that's crazy. I lived in Jacksonville for three and a half years and I wouldn't rank it in the top 50. Wild. Why should be an Olympic of Costco guys? Every country's Costco guys

going head to head because we only have the U.S. Costco guys currently. I want to see what Japan's Costco guys look like. Those Costco guys. He's talking about the Rizler and all those dudes. Yeah. Yeah, he's talking about the. Why does that sound like he's in a small bag? He said so far away, but I love it because I know how much he loves the Rizler.

It's like you got so excited. Your whole equipment broke when you tried to unmute guys, guys, guys. Sorry, I got I started just slamming shit around. I heard that I heard we were talking about the Rizler. I think the Rizler is going to have the longest career of those crew by far. I'm a big Rizler guy. Well, he's got the Riz. He's got the Riz and his gimmick is just him being him,

where I feel like the Costco guys are reliant on the boom and the doom. Yeah, it's much like how Tobuscus had epic win fail. Boomer Doom will eventually run its course, I imagine. Yeah, but not the Rizzler Rizzler's forever. No. Speaking of forever, a long time ago, you and I got you and I, you guys and I, what a long time ago, we landed on an idea. This is during face days. OK, we landed on an idea. This was during F***face days. Okay. We landed on an idea that our company, our brand, should be protected by a superhero or a mascot in some way.

Yes. We began a global search. We eventually landed on the Smashing Sportsman, who I think was a perfect choice. He was a journalist who developed arthritis and got angry about it, right? Yup. Was a journalist who developed arthritis and got angry about it, right? Yep We attempted a boy were we surprised and happy to find out that the Smashing Sportsman was a property of Warner Brothers Mm-hmm, and so we immediately thought this is great Maybe we can acquire the licensing from the Smashing Sportsman who's not being used by the way. Or do like a collaboration of some kind

Or do a collaboration. Our efforts fell on deaf ears. I don't think we were... Shockingly. Yeah, I don't think we were high on the priority list. I don't begrudge Warner Brothers for that at all. No, that's fair. But I would consider that to have been a dead end,

the Smashing Sportsman, right? I absolutely would agree. Other than the fact that we are now fans of the Smashing Sportsman and maybe the only people alive who are familiar with him. I was doing a podcast for So Alright yesterday, and I was talking about Woodsy Owl. I was just at Disneyland, and they had a Woodsy the Owl and a Smokey the Bear t-shirt,

so I thought that that was weird at Disney, and I bought one because it's all about just how I like Woodsy the Owl, and how it endeared itself to me as a child. But when I was learning about Woodsy the owl, it mentioned that he and Smokey along with Johnny Horizon were the Department of Agriculture's forestry department mascots back in the day. And I thought Johnny Horizon, I've never heard of Johnny Horizon. Let me look that name up. I thought Johnny Horizon, I've never heard of Johnny Horizon. Let me look that

name up. Here's Johnny Horizon. Johnny Horizon was a mascot used by the Bureau of Land Management in the United States in the 1970s, primarily for its anti-litter campaign. Yeah, this land is your land. When they had the bicentennial, they had a huge program led by Johnny Horizon, which was like, let's get 200 million Americans to clean up America for our 200th year, our bicentennial. Here it is right now. It was a huge success. It was so successful.

They were in the process of creating Johnny Horizon national park grounds around the country that you could go and stay at. It was like KOA campgrounds. Johnny Horizon was instantly bigger than Woodsy Owl and Smokey the Bear. However, he became very expensive very quickly and the people that created Johnny Horizon after like two years after the successful campaign in 74 and 75 for the bicentennial, they went to the

Department of Agriculture and said we need to double the budget on Johnny Horizon. We want more of this. The Department of Agriculture said, fuck you, we don't need this. We've got a bear and an owl. We don't need the Marlboro man without a cigarette. We've got our own shit. So in 1982, they relinquished their trademark on Johnny Horizon. I think he's an independent player. Really? He was huge in the mid 70s, led a nationwide anti littering campaign.

His only problem was he teamed up with Burl Ives when Burl Ives was like a big deal. Like his only problem was that he cost too much money to produce. And so they cut and ran and they they relinquished their ownership of him. He isn't trademarked or owned by anybody. Are you thinking grab him for the tricentennial? I think Johnny Horizon could be he seems like a regulation kind of guy. He wears a cowboy hat. He's got an awesome fucking name.

He's royalty free. And he's already done a lot of good for the world. This I think Johnny Horizon's awesome. I I back him fully. I do want to say that this also helps me back him. He's friends with Snoopy. Wow! There you go.

There you go. This was part of a pledge that I started looking it up. A part of a pledge that they did with Johnny Horizon was Snoopy pounce on pollution. And it's not just Snoopy. It's Snoopy talking about join the Johnny Horizon team. It's a winner and it's Snoopy full on. Dude, this rocks. He could even start a band and call it Bring Me Johnny Horizon.

Oh, man, we are that man. We suck. That sucks. We'll have to like here's here's Johnny Horizon and Burl Ives. Here's we'll have to do some research and look into it further. But guys, I think we might have stumbled on. I love a mascot and protector who already protects the environment. Why can't he protect our regulation environment? And since he's so fucking popular or he was so popular,

why don't we bring him back to prominence? Why don't we become the face of anti littering campaigns in 2025? You know what I'm saying? Why don't we get involved? We're getting on to the 250th year right for it was the bicentennial What's a 250 year anniversary because that's next year, isn't it? It's a very good point. Yeah, what do they call that? I don't know. What's a millennium? whoa That's a millennium? whoa That's a cool Wow set set sim Semi-quincentennial

what semi-quincentennial or a me, Quinn Centennial or a sister centennial or a quarter millennial or another thing also written here, the big two five. Oh, guys, there's there's one more piece of this. I just thought I would go out there in Twin Falls, Idaho, far from the prying eyes of Washington I'm reading this every April the town folk gather to honor the memory of their hero on Johnny Horizon day they do what he first asked of them in 1965 they clean up the land because it's their land every April in Twin Falls, Idaho

They have a Johnny Horizon clean up Idaho day where everybody gets together and celebrate Johnny Horizon, and they clean up litter. I think we should go to that. I don't think we can go this year, obviously. But I think, I think like we should, that should be in our, in our like must visit places around the world, like deputy Indiana, the bean holes days, this thing. I'm just, I'm so excited.

I'm looking at it. The last proclamation of Johnny Horizon Day was Saturday, May 4th, 2024. And currently there is no scheduled, proclaimed Johnny Horizon Day in. Oh, no. Yeah. In Twin Falls County, Idaho. Then we might be stepping in at the exact right time. Yeah, we need to keep that. We keep this going. We got to keep this going. I think Johnny Horizon and ratty boy would be real close. I like this Okay, I don't agree with that at all. I think Johnny horizon would punt ratty boy into a lake

You know what? Ratty boy would like that. Andrew you feeling threatened that possibly Johnny horizon could outshine Johnny caviar? No, not at all. They are first name related, though. We are. Yeah. Caviar has a level of slime to them that nobody can compare. I'm not worried about being out prestige. It's not very hard to do. That's not really caviar's thing. Is there anything more regulation than a guy without a cigarette and a cowboy hat?

The Marlboro man who's not smoking his lungs out pretty. Yeah, I like it. Johnny Horizon. It's an awesome name. It's pretty cool. Yeah. And again, friends with Snoopy. That's that's got to count for something. It counts for a lot. I think as a side to this, something I've been meaning to share,

I feel like you will especially enjoy this. I went a Jeff. I did typically follow that with a name that phrase. I was just loading up a photo. I went deep into the history of the A&W Burger family because there was a thing quite a while ago where you guys weren't familiar with the A&W Burger family because I don't think it's really a thing in the U.S. Like all the burgers that A&W Canada are named after, like family members

like the Papa Burger or the Mama Burger or the Teen Burger. And I posted something and Eric said, what the fuck is a teen burger? And so it led me on a thing of, oh, you guys just know Rudy the Root Bear as your A&W logo. He's what we know. We know what we know. What the fuck do we know? You don't know about Rudy the Root Bear as your A&W logo. He's what we know. We know what we know. What the fuck do we know? You don't know about Rudy the Root Bear.

OK. Oh, so clearly these idiots only know about Rudy the Root Bear. So let me let me just start with the burger family, because that's the central point of what I want to talk about. I didn't expect having to do a history lesson on Rudy the Root Bear. But when A&W started as a chain, they had a group of characters called the Burger Family. And that was their whole gimmick was that they had burgers and it was a family and they all like burgers and you could order

specific burgers of that type. And when I ask a question real fast. Yeah, go ahead. Is this an American company or a Canadian company? So that's a really weird one to answer, because it's both like they're it's an existing brand, but their own separately. Yes. So the Canadian version of A&W is completely unique to the American version. Although there is overlapping things, there is no overlap there. There is a degree of overlap, but the burger family still very much prevalent

in Canada. They got rid of the burger family when Rudy the Root Bear came into the scene in the U.S. But when you made an A&W restaurant, you had to bring the family into your rest like it was part of the setting up of it. So all of these giant plaster family statues existed. But then Rudy the Root Bear became way more popular. And so they had to get rid of these statues

because they were no longer representatives in the U.S. There were just characters. So there are communities that are obsessed with like trying to track down where these statues ended up. And there's some great resources you can find online of people that have just pursued and or found how they've been repurposed. So this is the Papa Burger, but he has been repainted and is at a car dealership. Oh, my God.

The car dealer guy. So this is huge. So Papa Burger and Teen Burger stuff that they found on a mini golf course unrelated to A&W. This is Papa Burger that has been repainted and had his eyes changed to look. But like you could clearly tell it is the ice cream guy. So it is almost like you're saying in the sense of like these are characters

that have been abandoned but then adopted by other businesses because restaurants had to sell these giant fucking statues that they did. I'm crazy. It's like they got fired and had to find other jobs. Yeah. So as we maybe explore deeper into becoming affiliated with Johnny Horizon, maybe also any listeners, if you catch the Burger family around in an unofficial new employment role, let us know. We should find a Papa Burger Holder Man

and just snap the head off, face it upwards and make our regulation Ian statue outside the office. Oh, that would be so funny. Just repaint them. I really like that. You're talking about these mascots and it reminded me of something that I learned not too long ago. You know the Jack and Diane song at the beginning where he says sucking on chili dogs outside the Tasty Freeze?

Yeah, you know it's not about chili like the hot dog, right? Oh Chili dogs are what their slurpy slush puppies are called. Yeah, I mean I've had a they're my favorite actually But I never made that connection in my life Until like a like a few weeks ago, everyone thinks it's sucking on like a chili dog, like a hot dog, and it's not. It's a slush puppy. Wild. So just to add to how fucked up these things get,

here's another papa. This is a papa burger sprout. What? Good Lord. Wait, hang on. Okay, what the fuck? Hang on. He's he's the he's the giant that sells vegetables, but he's holding a brick

and he's next to jelly beans. I know. I don't know what business he's promoting there, but yeah, I just the idea of like Papa Burger, the great American family and just seeing all the roads that They've had to follow since then. I like the one with the ice cream. They didn't put the ice cream on the high up hand They just have that hand empty. He's just hanging out to the side. These are these are crazy. These are Canada's weird. Why would that be the one you hang on to A&W? How strange? I've eaten and drank a lot of A&W in my life, and I've never heard of the bear or these guys.

That's crazy. Really? Hey, oh, dude, these idiots only know about the root bear. What the fuck are you talking about? Maybe 2025 is the year regulation gives back. This is the year we created the fruit demon. We're encouraging fruit consumption and healthy eating. We're going to we're anti litter now because of Johnny Horizon. We're a real do good or kind of podcast.

This is I want a website where it's just collecting them. This is freaky Papa Burger. Gavin's going to mail us come every what the hell he's freaky. Holy hell. He's playing like NFL. He's like playing like NFL blitz. What is this? The burger looks great on that one. He's playing like NFL. He's like playing like NFL blitz. What is this?

The burger looks great on that one. At some point that will still exist in the world and everybody who knew what it was. Wow. Wow. Yeah. There'll be no connection to it. It'll just be a creepy. Well, who made that creepy old guy with the hot hamburger? Oh, Rudy the Ro root bear to that. What the fuck?

I I did something the other day that I haven't done. I think since I was a kid where I kind of like popped my nut. You know what I mean? No, I definitely don't. Yeah. You ever like as a kid, you know, kind of sit funny and you kind of you you squash a testicle and then it shoots out somewhere else into the scrotum. Uh, yes. Sure. I guess.

Yeah. I just would never describe it as pop on a nut. I just feel like I've, I had stopped doing that and then it happened and it was like a painful memory that brought me back to childhood. Slip the ball maybe. Is that how you would say it? Does it ever worry you what other painful childhood memories there are out there that you forgot that? You're something they're gonna dislodge like a ball

That's actually really fun you think like Evil Knievel had repressed memories and like he'd stub his toe and remember just being lit on fire and falling through like a mountain I don't like Remembering something unpleasant from a long time ago and being like, oh, I didn't think about that for 30 years because God knows what else I haven't thought about for 30 years. Yeah. No, like I had one of those when we recently did a were songs draft. And I was thinking, like, what is just generally genuine, terrible music

that I've heard in a brought back a YouTube video that I hadn't seen in like 17 years and hadn't thought about in that time either The premise of having those but for pain is terrifying I wonder if anybody's ever stubbed their toe like getting up on their coffee table and then remembered being kidnapped by Russian drug dealers when they were six And they just repressed it When the Russian drug dealer stepped on my toe fuck I was kidnapped Anytime Harry or Marv have to paint a house It's just trauma

PTSD from a previous career And they would have the worst PTSD right they went through a lot those two well They had a lot of time in prison to think it over They went through a lot, those two. Well, they had a lot of time in prison to think it over. Well, they escaped, though, for Home Alone 2. That's true. One of the greatest things anyone has ever given me, by the way, is TPG's screenplay for Home Alone 2. I don't even know if it would be, I guess, a direct sequel.

Not necessarily two, because there was two. I had a surprise this week from Meg. She listened to an episode of this podcast. Why? Oh no. For the first time. Why? Was it to like get you?

No. She just thought, you know, other people listen to it. I might as well see what it's all about. What a time to start. I like Meg too much to make her listen to the show. Yeah. What did she think? Does she like us less now? Now it's, now I think she's going to go back to the beginning of F***face and get the whole war going. What? Does she like us less now? Now it's now I think she's gonna go back to the beginning of F***face and get the whole lore going.

But she started off by listening to last week's episode. And I've discovered something slightly disturbing. She's a total Andrew sympathizer. Pretty much everything Andrew said. She was like, yeah, I totally get where he's coming from. The enemy from within. Wow. Here's the thing though with that.

I feel like I saw that way more for that episode than I have for any other episode. That is true. There might be a false confidence. I think that is not going to stick around. So what were we wrong about that you were right about last episode? I think people not even necessarily wrong, but people were like, oh yeah, I knew what he meant by sleep amnesia. What was the other thing? There was a lot of stuff.

There were an inordinate amount of posts where people are going, I totally sided with Andrew on all this stuff. Oh, I knew exactly who he was talking about. And it's like, I don't even know what it was that we were squabbling about. Oh, you know what part of it was? The real nerds came out the back me up.

Peter Molinou. Oh, the Peter Molinou stuff. The real all the real gamer nerds that have spent too much time reading about Peter Molinou like I have were like, no, he is right. A hundred percent Peter Molinou love. I still stand by populous fable one, two and three being awesome fucking games that are great.

And I appreciate Peter Molinou for this. I appreciate those as well. Maybe the maybe the full name thing, too Oh, yeah That was something I was surprised people don't put their foot like what do you think full name is? Like if the glass is full I can't fit any more into it. That's what I learned about burger eating That was that was when I would go back to the old things. That was how stomachs work. Oh, I can never do the burger challenge. He's going back to second place.

Thirty two. That's what I learned about burger eating. Well, whatever I hear, there's a limit. That's always what I imagine. Because you eat you when you go in, you sort of have this idea that like your stomach is endless, but that's not how that works. It's like you have a glass. I don't think I ever thought my stomach was endless. Yeah. But you also don't think much about food in general. So that's,

I would never accuse you of ever having a size greater than your stuff, whatever that phrase is. It is interesting though to think about your eating speed, like the speed that it physically moves out of your stomach, into your intestines. Could you just keep food coming like a conveyor belt at the exact speed of your digestion? Theoretically, I think you could.

I think you could, but I think that song that goes, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, would have to do it. And we'd have to see the food going down conveyor belt style into your stomach and then down out of your ass. It also takes too long. That was my problem is whenever we do these burger bets and I would lose them it was because the digestion took longer than the bet. It's like, oh, I got no time to refuel. Well, yeah, that the whole point is like, it's not interesting if you ate a hundred

hamburgers over the space of a year And yet we're counting hot dogs Well, that's true Megan agree with me on that one. Oh people also agreed with you on the acclaimed logo. That's right Meg said Megan. That was weird Make sure she listens to that. Yeah, that was strange. Well, she started at the beginning now, so she wouldn't hear this one. That's good. That's pretty good. I've already lost me by this point.

That's fine. Never mind. It's one good to go back and listen to 250 episodes of or I guess two hundred and eighty episodes, no, two hundred about two hundred fifty episodes of a show. But it's another thing to go back and listen to two hundred and fifty episodes I guess 280 episodes, no, 250 episodes of a show. But it's another thing to go back and listen to 250 episodes of show starring your husband that all happened in your house while you were living there. What a weird, like, she's gonna have so many, like, memory connections to things that happened in the house

that she's gonna have context for now, you know what I mean? Yeah, and it's a real time capsule, too. She's about to fill in like the last five years of of like confusion in her life. Yeah, I think the first episode is a half an hour conversation about turnip prices. Animal Crossing kicked it all off. Well, I'm in a new era personally, because I'm on that CPAP now. I'm a threat. Oh, yeah.

Danger to society. How'd you sleep last night? It's it's been a journey. It's been a little bit of roller coaster overall. So I started and I fell asleep and I had a great sleep and I woke up and then we've been doing Mario Party March where every morning I have to get up and play one turn and then previously would just go back to sleep.

I went to bed early because I thought, I don't know how this is going to impact my sleep, so I'm going to be careful. So I went to bed at eight thirty, woke up at eleven thirty, was awake for about an hour, then went back to sleep and woke up at around 5 a.m. And I thought, I'll just stay awake to be safe, to be cautious. I did that for an hour and then I got kind of sleepy again. And I thought, I can sleep for 45 minutes and trust that I'll set my alarm as I did.

Everything's fine. I then woke up to with my partner standing above me and all of the lights on in the bedroom saying, you're late, you're late. I had slept through. It was the wildest like I guess I had like. Six months of bad sleep that I cleansed in one evening, and they had spent like 15 minutes trying to wake me and they could not wake me.

And I woke up in such a panic rushing to that Mario party turn because we had recently done a pet peeves draft and one of us drafted general lateness. So when I heard your late, my first thought was, oh, no, this person's going to be so peeved. And so I panicked and none of my setup would work. And it was great because you all were like, what's going on? And I'm like, I'm so sorry.

I just started CPAP. And then there was a lot of excitement around it. Yeah, because you sounded completely different. You didn't sound like morning and croaky. You were like, oh, hey, sorry, I just had a really, oh, great sleep. We talked about it later. It was like it was like talking to an Andrew from 2022.

It was so weird. You were you were a different person. And I think we all immediately loved it. It was great. No offense to current Andrew, but we were just really excited to see how rested you were. I don't think you sounded that like just at peace with yourself in a year. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we also like I'm generally not a morning person, which is tough,

especially with CPAP stuff and just with the time zones. I have to get up earlier than you guys for everything that we do or start earlier than I would necessarily enjoy. But so we did that. And then I went back to bed after that Mario Party turn. It's like, this is great sleep. I just slept essentially that whole day. It was crazy. Put the mask on.

The only problem I had was that well, actually a few problems. But one of them was that it's created a bruise on my nose. I need to get a different mask. Hmm. It's just it doesn't quite fit right and clamp it down. But the bigger problem was I realized that I don't know how sleep works anymore. I'm having to reeducate myself on sleep because when you are never actually getting good sleep, you constantly have the ability to sleep.

So I slept the whole day and then I laid in bed at like 11 p.m. that night and I put the mask on and I sat there for 30 minutes and just it was so weird sleep didn't occur as I guess I'm just not sleepy. I guess I just can't just sleep. And so then I fucked up my sleep that night because like I slept too much during the day. I haven't had to think about like, oh, I need to. I have so much of this.

I can overdo this. So that was the whole thing. First night to see Pat, it was like I was in a time machine. I instantly fall asleep for like eight hours. It was great. Second night disaster because I had spent so much time sleeping. The previous terrible sleep couldn't get the mask to fit properly because I do still have a giant head and I don't the straps barely work, but I do get them to work at certain angles. I experienced your thing, Gavin.

I had a gassy gut yesterday. You I sure did. I I woke up. I was like, oh, this is real unpleasant. I don't want to do this. I see what he was talking about. Did it come out your mouth or your anus? I anus for sure.

I had to use the bathroom and I didn't realize that until I was on the toilet of like, oh, boy, I am aired up right now. This is crazy. I actually think that the air was probably the cause of me having to use the bath. Yeah, it was phantom poop potentially. It was. Yeah. Uh, so that has been that experience.

I'm on day three, still learning how sleep works. I think I'm going to get there. I love the fact that you've been operating this whole like last six months, like one of those old phones that when they run at a battery, if you just wait a bit, you can turn it back on and it will operate at dog shit levels until it turns off again. You've just been doing life like that as like a drained phone battery. Yeah. But now it's expectation. So it's I've had an issue where this this morning I went to sleep and now when I wake up from CPAP and it's a good CPAP sleep, I'll go like, oh, how far into the future have I gone now?

And this magical. Oh, wait, this 80 minutes. This is no, no. This is not how this works. So I felt like Superman for one day because it's like the sleep was insane. I was having ridiculous dreams. And now I think I'm just returning to Earth as a normal person. But it is a process. You just discovered drug addiction.

The first time you do it is so fucking great. It solves all your problems. You have the best day of your life. And then the next day it's not quite as good. Yeah, quite as good. And you're just like, what the fuck is it like day one? Third day, I'm on it a little bit. But you guys are going to be like, oh, man, he's pappin too hard.

He's got a bruise on his nose. I can see that scam. Andrew, you're out of control, baby. So you can face instead of just nose. Yeah, I bought a new mask that I think will work better for that. I also just not realizing how the how it should work. Like, I don't think I had a good seal on it the first night I used it at all, because it just keeps blowing air into your face.

And I have to sneeze. That's another thing. I'm learning new things. I had my first C-PAP sneeze last night. That was a panic. Terrifying. You get all strapped up and then you realize you have to sneeze. There's five seconds of trying to like get the mask off because I feel like sneezing in a CPAP mask, a full face mask would be terrible. What if CPAP was short for CPAP smear?

Oh, that would be a different product than I think if that's what it was. Yeah, well, that what that a different product then, I think, if that's what it was short for. I'm trying to figure out what that product would do. I don't know. I'm trying to think if there's anything else. I'll give an update next week. I'm sure I will continue to learn things of how humans actually operate. I had to get used to the fact that there was something on my face. Before I went with the nose one, I had the whole mouth and nose one and I tried to take

a pill and I forgot to take the thing off just oh Crashed into my face and flew onto the floor You kind of just I just got something right there. I Just visualize when I have problems with it and not that I've had problems But my strategy going in was that I'm just a fighter pilot in Independence Day With my mask and I'm not gonna be a bitch like like Harry Connick Jr. and rip that mask off. I'm going to I'm locked in. I'm not going to crash my goddamn jet.

Why did he take the mask off? I don't know, because I think in the movie, it's like he runs out of oxygen. But that's the thing that provides the oxygen, I think. Yeah. Well, I mean, if you if you're connected to air and the air runs out, it is worse to be breathing an empty pipe than just the air. That's true. It'll squeeze your face. We've recently learned if you try to breathe into an empty pipe, but that's when I see

pap journey. I'll keep you updated. Gavin has been texting me. I, I, at some point I ran out of water. I guess I got to change the water on it. Does yours use distilled water? Yes. So you're a, this is probably my biggest piece of advice toilled water? Yes. So you're a.

This is probably my biggest piece of advice to you with the pap. And because you're a messy bastard, you clean it, clean it, clean it, clean it every week. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Can I express some ignorance? What is the water for? It's a humidifier. So I thought it just pumped oxygen into you. I didn't realize it was humid oxygen. I guess I mean, me neither had no idea

Well, it's not obvious to air. It's just pumping air. Oh Okay, I did have you know what Gavin what you just use nose right you don't use the full mask Yeah, I had an issue last night where I took some air in and I stored it in my cheeks Oh, that was not and of that, I could never. It was then pumping too much air. I can never adjust the balance because it thought the air was more air was needed than actually was. I did not know how to. I had to take the whole mask off because I didn't know how to react or counter the amount of airflow that was being shoved into my face.

Yeah, that happens to be be sometimes but because I have the Just the nose thing on I can vent so if my cheeks are all puffed up sometimes I'll be like nodding off, and I'll come back around my cheeks will be full of air, and I just have to be like I don't got a vent. I don't have a vent so I need to figure out that system I guess it must be such a good night of sleep because it sounds like You guys have made sleep so complicated If you can sleep with that one, you're lucky It is nice. I

Haven't slept this good since I was I don't know it's been a while. It's been a few different apartments It's crazy to just close your eyes and then wake up and it's different. The time is completely different. So what would it be before though? Because you said you used to just be set up. I sit up and then I would fall asleep and then I'd wake up and I'd look at my phone and it would probably be like 50 minutes. 50 minutes later. I didn't when I did my test, I had like 105 disturbances an hour and I'm averaging less than one. So it is a dramatically different sleep experience.

And I was getting like 20 something an hour and that was enough to prescribe a CPAP. So the fact that you had a hundred that was like that's almost two a minute. Yeah, I was doing burger numbers. I didn't even know it. That's crazy. I'm so happy that you're going to become a regular human. You're going to become like a super powered man who can sleep.

It's crazy. But realizing that it's not a superpower and that you have to you have to limit it. It's not a time machine because it really felt like a time machine after night one. And as I said, you brought back to Earth on it. You have to use your power responsibly. I yeah, I'm cleaning it to just like the idea of like one one second. It was pitch black and you just tested this thing out. And then suddenly you're six minutes late for Mario Party.

Terrified, not even knowing that I could be. I drank a Red Bull in that time as well. When you told us that it was CPAP, it changed everyone's tune from like, oh, we're gonna give them shit to, dude, that's so odd, oh, I'm so happy for you, whatever. You were also supportive, it was so sweet. It was, we were so supportive

and then thought about it later and went like, the way you sounded, I know Jeff brought it up earlier, but like, it was earlier, but like. It was so hey, what's going on? You were different. You were a different guy's hey. It was like, are you who? OK.

I think I was still very much out of it. And if it was another scenario, me being seven minutes late, I either would have been much more aggressively apologetic and or much more just prepared to defend myself for whatever had occurred. I think the fact that we're playing Mario Party so early for you every morning is really detrimental to your gameplay. But you're making some nuts decisions. I disagree there. So we film turn 14 today, which if you haven't watched, please check it.

We're doing a thing. We're playing Mario Party every day. I'm sure you know, but we're doing it every day and we're releasing it the following day. We're doing 30 turns of 30 consecutive days of this. We are at turn 15. We just did turn 14 today, or I guess tomorrow we'll do 15. And it has been an insane process because we do it first thing in the morning every day. For me, at least 630 a.m.

Yeah. That's when I wake up. It's such a weird way to start the day. Yeah, we are waking up together every day for a month. And I'm very excited for that to end as much as I also love spending that morning time with you all I don't think it impacted my gameplay today My bad sleep apnea night definitely impacted the mini game I did with Jeff where we had to do basic math What a day that man that was I reached out to Jeff as soon as we finished. I said that was on me. I will make.

It was brutal. That was so funny. Apologize to me because I can handle one. So it was a thing where like there'd be three things you needed to dodge. And I was really good at locking in on making sure one of those things didn't happen. And I could not do anything about the other things, which is not fun, though, to be like on a Saturday plan and then looking at the map and being like, Oh, I'm excited to

go past that spot, maybe in the middle of next week. Yeah. Yeah. You look out Wednesday. Here I go. I get really excited at like 6 a.m. every day. I happen to be awake like once the turn is within about an hour or so. Like, oh, it's going to happen? Who's going to steal something? It's been a lot of fun. And it's been surprisingly less heated than I would anticipate to this point.

But I think that is only going to crank up now as we head into the back half of this game. Yeah, I agree. Shit's starting to feel a little real. It is. There's under the feel a little real. It is. There's under the table dealings that have occurred. Bribes that have been made. Some star theft. Some star theft.

Backstabbing. Backstabbing. Some frontstabbing. Some frontstabbing. Reconciliation, potentially. Nope. But that's all video game talk. We don't really talk about that on the main podcast.

We do hope you check it out though, because it's fucking free and we don't know how to make it easier to watch than that. It is on our Patreon every day. I guess I could come to your house and show it to you on an iPad every day. Can you imagine the frequent flyer miles you could rack up doing that? and I had Traveling via an iPad the show like it's the Wu Tang album We should probably wrap up that we've been going for a little bit I do want to throw this out there before we leave one last idea since we're kind of in a draft era

I feel like right now. I'm really enjoying it. I want to throw another one. I had onto the pile If you like if you guys like it, I already I already pitched it some of you One hit wonder draft Yes Okay, there you go. All right. That doesn't have to be music that could be there's all kinds of one-hit wonders Yeah as immediately I and I say this as a big fan of the product itself I don't think the big league chew guy did anything else but big league chew Yeah, I have so many that are so good immediately.

I don't want to say them out loud because I don't want to lose them. You know what I mean? Don't want to give the good ideas up. But yeah, one hit wonder draft, I think could be a real good one. So we should throw that on the pile first at some point in the undefined future. Sorry. Specifically about the big league chew thing. That guy was a major league baseball player, wasn't he? He played for the Portland Hawks.

I don't know if he did. Did he play in the MLB? I thought he was an MLB player. But either either either way, I thought that was a that was a very funny example to be like, this guy's never done anything. Major league player. Oh, shit. He played baseball at definitely a professional level. That is true. But Big League Chew, though, that was his hit.

He was a role player in the dugout and the field. Yeah. Where was his soccer slam or his football fruities or his other sports related guns in an era where they got rid of all the candy that resembled tobacco? He he ran through it. He held on. He made it through that storm. He's the sole survivor of that. Yeah, you got a Dick sporting goods right now and they sell a tub of Big League chew right at the counter as you walk out.

You won't see candy cigarettes anywhere. No, it's a lie about what they are. They're just like candy sticks now. Do you think we should ever revisit any of our previous discussions from the podcast from before drafts like at one point We were talking about the best sequels But in for anything. Well, we should we also talked about doing a worst third movies draft too. Yeah Oh, yeah, man. I don't want to like overload the audience with drafts, but I feel like I feel like we've got so many good drafts

On deck. I don't think that is a thing What the audience no they exist? They're there dude, I promise you they're there Outside of my house outside of our homes We got Meg on we got wrap this up Somebody in this thing now that Andrew's sleeping tonight, he's discovering that there's an outside world. Wait a second. Are you telling me that these things go out to people?

I think now I'm starting to understand his Costco confusion a little bit better. Thanks for listening to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. We really hope you enjoyed it. If you did, maybe go on over to our Patreon. We are the Regulation Pod over on Patreon. And consider watching some of those gameplay videos for free or maybe even becoming a member, a paying member or not. I don't care one way or the other.

I just want you to be happy. I want you to be the happiest you can be throughout the course of your day. And for some people, that includes Patreon content for a whole lot of people in the world, right? A whole lot of people, it doesn't, but there are a few that it does. So if you're one of those people, that'd be cool. Anyway, we sure enjoyed hanging out and having this dumb conversation with you. And hopefully we will see you next week for another episode of the Regulation Podcast. I can't believe you didn't let Nick do the outro.

Yeah, I thought you did a great job, though. So we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye now. Don't inhale popcorn. Bye.