F**kface - Off Guard Best Man // Being Decided Via Ladder [150]

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about light pleasantries, same voices, mall drama, Geoff's punk zine, Facebook messenger decade, Lego social media, a crazy sports weekend, Wrestlemania blown quad, movie insights, Chasing Amy trading cards, Thank Me Later redux, Andrew's weird ice pack, pickled onion, cook book, photography, and upcoming drafts. Come to RTX July 7-9 to experience the F**kface Museum FIRST HAND! www.RTXAustin.com Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face and Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com and use code FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in their weak points, use the terrain and trick, trip, or throw foes off high cliffs or raging waters.

Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. You know, I've been thinking about The Bourne Identity. There's a game for The Bourne Identity, and I wonder if that sequence is in it. I don't remember. I haven't played it in a very long time.

I bet it's not. I don't think that was a major sequence, really. I don't remember. I haven't played it in a very long time. I bet it's not. I don't think that was a major sequence, really. I couldn't remember where it was in the movie. But I agree. It probably wasn't. It'd be great if it was. Yeah, it would be really cool to... You know what would be fun is we could try to... We could get the game and try to recreate the moment.

Or maybe if there's no multiplayer, we could do it like in GTA. Yeah, or like Call of Duty in a Warzone game. Yeah, Call of Duty in a Warzone would be great. It would be way easier. Although I guess it would be more fun to do it in real life. That was short. Ah, that throws me... When you guys show up for pleasantries late,

it throws me off how quickly Gavin gets here. Yeah, I'm sorry. It doesn't feel like we even had pleasantries at all. I can't believe it. Like 2.59, Jeff was barely in. He was barely in. I mean, we even had plus trees at all. I can't believe it. Like 259. Jeff was barely in. He was barely in. I mean, we all kind of they were at here at like four minutes before. I was editing my notes for today.

So I had to wrap that. That's exciting. Well, you haven't seen my notes yet. No, but I love some Jeff notes. I don't think I've ever been disappointed by Jeff notes. I don't have a lot. I don't have a lot of shit to talk about. That's like important or anything uh just a few small things what do

you think is the most important thing we talked about on this show oh it might be last week with gavin and the best man moment i think that i mean that's a very important well i will i would like to say that since that heartfelt moment that i I never intended to share on camera and then it just kind of happened, Gavin and I have not spoken once. That was the point, though. You said that in the moment. We've texted. Oh, if you texted, that's speaking. You're talking.

What did we text about? The rocks and when we're doing rocks. That's true. We did. We texted about schedule stuff. You're absolutely right. that's true we did we texted about schedule stuff you're absolutely right i feel like i handled the best man uh request so poorly no it was god i think you handled it in the most endearing way i listened to it back i was like wow i don't sound grateful at all i couldn't be more blessed

to have that request honestly it's like one of the best things i've ever been asked i think you came across as overwhelmed due to how touched you were by the moment i completely disagree that you didn't okay sincere i i totally agree as well and you have to read between the you're like jazz music you have to listen to the notes gavin doesn't i've learned that over the years it's it's your cool british demeanor which i know flies in the face of everything I said about how every British person cries on Traders. You're kind of like the opposite of that. I felt the sincerity.

I'm glad. I mean, you're the only person who I... That's the most important one, right? Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, I would say so. Eric's pissed off. Yeah, he is. He's already angry. No, I'm not mad. I'm thinking about getting mad, but I'm not mad yet. He's thinking about getting mad.

Yeah, I'm just thinking about it. It's all good. Just do the intro. It's all good. What number is this? People keep saying I'm mad. I'm thinking I'm mad. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.

My name is Jeff Ramsey, and with me, as always, Andrew Panton, way up there in Vancouver Island, Canada, and hanging out in the land of the straight malls, as they're called. And then also, from... There was a bad mall issue recently. We'll get into it in a second. And then from schmancy, pantsy Oxfordshire, England, by way of Austin, Texas. My favorite Brit, Gavin Free. How are you guys? I'm great.

How are you guys? I'm fucking awesome. Pretty damn good. Yeah. Do you think I was, I'm trying to get into new podcasts and it always pisses me off until I have a grasp of who's talking when. Do you think all of our voices are easy enough to differentiate? I have no idea.

Yeah, I think so. I think so. Well, first off, you have an accent. That's what I think goes for us, is that we, I think I sound incredibly, I sound the opposite of Eric. Yeah, it's the thing that I always got from Face Jam, like when we started,

was people couldn't tell me and Michael apart. I don't understand that, but it's just what we heard a lot. And so I don't think we run into that problem here at all. I think we all are. If you think of it as like a circle, I think we're all at like very far points from each other on the circle. I don't think any of us are close. What's weird is I recently somebody I know started listening to the podcast and they told me what my voice sounds like.

And I was like, we've talked before. What are you talking about? Why did it take you listening to the podcast? Why are you telling me this? We've had conversations. This is a ridiculous take by you. There's some great mall drives. I'm seeing if I can find a photo.

There was a guy that was arrested at the mall that looked like he had a uh i don't even know like a mad max like a cartoonish mad max weapon he had like a dollar store crossbow like a bow and arrow with a syringe it's the arrow it's just very not ideal but the photos of it are just absurd. Was he trying to vaccinate people at range? Yeah, I think so. Potentially. I think that's the best option. He really likes vaccines, and he just wanted to make sure everyone was all good.

Maybe he was trying to get on the subreddit mall. Yeah. Eric found it. Oh, God. A Canadian range with a crossbow. That was a recent mall incident. Wow. So maybe the 911 mall's taking a little bit of a ding.

How much, Andrew, let me ask, how much trouble did you get into? Oh, listen. They don't want to mess with the child kicker. It's fine. A lot of those cops have kids. I'm not saying. I've never kicked a kid.

I would never kick a kid. Just, you know, it's a fact. But if you did kick a kid, it wouldn't be a cop's kid. Just, you know, it's a fact. But if you did kick a kid, it wouldn't be a cop's kid. It wouldn't. Could we make an accurate, like, ballistic gel dummy of a kid?

Sort of so it looks and feels and has the right weight to it. Could we get you to kick it? Yeah, but you know what my immediate concern in my head when I play out this scenario is the power of my kick goes through the gel, then my ankle rolls, and my entire body breaks. That's a... You'd be the first person to roll an ankle kicking someone. Yeah, well, no, I'm sure that's happened.

Like, that has to have happened, but I just, I see, like, the Spartan kick, and my foot going through the chest, and then my other ankle rolling, and then me, like, breaking my arm on the way down and just severely being out of commission for a long time. This is... I gotta say, that syringe,

that picture of that syringe on the ground is reminding me of a story. It's not even a story, just something that I remember. It's reminding me of a memory. I'm being memory reminded. Back when i used to run a punk zine back in the like late 90s um you know i used to get a lot of like free records in the mail and shit and i got a record one time i got a cd one time from this punk band called gutter mouth uh i'm sure eric knows of them uh socal california band very offensive and it was a live album and on the cd in the uh in the portion where you open it there's like the spine right uh-huh yeah in that spine they included a syringe like a working usable syringe and i think

they got in a lot of lot of trouble and they had to pull it off the shelves and they couldn't sell it anymore and I still had that for I probably could have sold that but I think I think it's in a landfill somewhere with the rest is it because people didn't know it was in there and they were like pricking themselves no you could see it uh it didn't come with a needle I think it was just like it was encouraging needle drug use oh it turned out it turned out it was a bad look it's like when, I think it was for the Godfather 2 game, they mailed brass knuckles out to every press outlet. Like everybody that they sent a package to

got brass knuckles, which ended up being an illegal weapon in a lot of the states that they sent it to and they had to like send the baby. There's a whole issue. The syringe seems fine. Without a needle, that seems fine.

I didn't know, do you still, when was the last time you made a zine? Oh, many ago i thought of it so that's the album and then in the left where you see the happy sad faces there was just a syringe in there that you could pop oh that's great that's crazy clearly not in that one uh you know i thought about making uh zines for us obviously yeah the andrew zine or whatever but we just haven't gotten i haven't gotten around to it i i i well you know what i guess the last zine I made was Rooster Teeth because that's kind of that's kind of what that's kind of what it progressed into it progressed from like

punk zine to to other punk zine to comedy zine to ugly internet to drunk gamers to Rooster Teeth so it was kind of like one long project with many iterations. Do you have any of your old zines still in collection somewhere? No, I was a digital zine. I did everything online. Oh. So I do not, unfortunately. I might have. Maybe I have something printed out.

I'd have to look. I don't think so, though. I had a conversation the other day with someone that could never have occurred in real life. I was rooting around. I was trying to find something on my old Facebook account, which I haven't logged into in a long time. And I guess Messenger has had an update since I last used it. And I just went over to a different tab and I was like, oh shit, there's messages here from people I actually know.

As opposed to a bunch of spam from thousands of people who have just found my profile and it was like hey I heard you're in Austin I've just moved to California do you want to be up and it was one of my friends who I met on holiday I was like oh sure where are you where'd you move to in California and he replied and was like

uh and he listed where he was and he was like acting kind of strange and and then I looked at when he'd sent the original message. It was May 2013. Can you imagine saying, like,

hey, I'm here. That's so long. Hey, you want to meet up? And then a decade goes by. It would have been quicker to talk to me if I was on like Neptune or something. You've always got to check when the message was sent. Honestly, it looked like it was right at the top of my thing and it looked new. Like it was bold.

And I was like, oh, sweet. I don't know why it was there. It surely should have been under everything else. I was so bold and i was like oh sweet i don't know why it was there it surely should have been under everything else i was so confused and so was he did you have a conversation after that i was like oh my god i'm sorry i just i think it's past the point of apology i don't think you need to apologize for that. I think if anything now, we should definitely be up. Ten years in the making. But I think you need to schedule that ten years from now.

Sorry for the late reply. Been busy. It must have seemed so weird getting that reply without any reference to the massive time gap. That's an interesting idea. You can only talk to this person in like a one block window every ten years. You need to get talk to this person in like a one block window every 10 years. You need to get everything you need articulated in like a day.

I felt really bad that he replied immediately to it. That's great. I was hoping he would let me swallow it. It's so much better. It honestly felt like he'd said it 10 years ago and then just waited by the phone for me to reply for a decade. Is that the only point of contact that person has with you yeah okay that's great that's fantastic wow 10 years i don't think i've i'm trying to think if i've had a gap of that with anybody my life i don't know if i have that's a long time 10 years

yeah you wouldn't you went a couple years without talking to me because you invented that I was mad at you. It was like two years. Yeah. I was a kid. I was dumb. I'm still dumb, but I was dumber then. I'm slightly smarter then. I was when I was, what, like 18?

How many people do you think are out there that are in that category of you and I not talking for two years or Gavin just not seeing that message from somebody for like 10 years? How many people are out there in the periphery of your life who you consider as friends, but they no longer consider you as a friend because you didn't see their texts or contact them? You just don't know, but they hate you now because they think you ignore them like there's got to be a couple for each of us right i got confronted about that oh yeah wow by a different person different person there was uh wow it was someone who i was friends with on the original red versus blue forums okay 2003 2004 and i guess at some point they came through austin and I didn't reply to them because they messaged me on Facebook which I've

never really used for talking to people and uh it was basically I found a message it was like hey we're gonna meet Austin hey just check it in man I'm kind of bummed that you ignored me and then it was like I found it like three years later and I had to message them I just don't know

if I've never spoken to you on Facebook, you can't be annoyed that I'm not replying. I clearly am just not on that platform. I had something very similar where I also don't use Facebook ever. I don't know the last time I've checked messages on Facebook. And even when I wouldn't,

I mean, I've never used it at any, there was no point where I was like a heavy Facebook user. And I logged in one time for something or other. And I saw a message from one of my best friends in high school. And I thought, oh, cool. I haven't talked to him in like 15 years or 20 years even maybe. And it was a message that was like, hey, man, just wanted to say it's great to see all the success you're having with Rooster Teeth and stuff.

And I was I'd love to I'd love to get together sometime or I'd really if you ever want to like send me a DVD or something, I'd love to watch it just to see what you're having with Rooster Teeth and stuff. And I was, I'd love to, I'd love to get together sometime or I'd really, if you ever want to like send me a DVD or something, I'd love to watch it just to see what you're all about. And then it was like, hey man, you must be pretty busy. It was like the next message. And just get back to me when you can. And then like two weeks later, he sent a message. It was like, fuck you, you rich piece of shit. You forgot where you came from.

You've abandoned all your old friends. You're too fucking good to talk to us. You suck. You suck. I hate you. And I saw that message like three months after he sent it, and so I was just like, well, I guess that one's dead. Did you even reply to that one? No, fuck no. Oh, you should have replied.

No way. That's so rude. I don't use the platform. I'm sorry. There should be a thing that says it hadn't been read, right? It has to be a read receipt or something on it, I would assume. I don't know.

I don't use Facebook. You've probably turned it off, but yeah, I don't know. That's what I assume. It's just fascinating because you're watching that person spiral emotionally. I don't know.

I feel like I definitely would reply because they are so in the wrong. No, what am I going to do? Get in an argument and try to defend myself by saying I don't use because they are so in the wrong. No, what am I going to do? Get in an argument about how and try to defend myself by saying I don't use your shitty social media platform? No. That's a lot of conclusions to jump through in the

span of like two weeks when I clearly hadn't posted a photo on Facebook in 10 years at that point. It's not like you'd see any status updates from me or anything. Yeah, but I mean, if you would have replied in their head, you're still ignoring them. There's never any resolution on their side.

Now, as of the day I read that message, I'm fucking ignoring them. You're absolutely right. I am ignoring that person now. I wasn't, but now I am. But when was this? Can we do a Gavin thing? Can you reply 10 years from now?

No, no, no, no. Can we schedule it? I'm not doing that. This was probably five years ago. Oh, well, we're already halfway to 10. I've been ignoring him for about five years. It's scary. I would hate to see all of the stuff I've missed from people I really like.

Yeah. Are you scared because you might not like them anymore? Is that the risk assessment of what's there? Although they don't like me because I ignored them. Yeah, but I'm saying that's ended. Jeff's friendship with this person ended because... If I saw them in person, I would love to talk to them about it,

but I'm not going to get into a love line thing with anybody. And by the way, I still like the person very much. I still, I had a lovely... What are you doing then? I had a lovely childhood growing up with them. Because I would never in a... Andrew? Andrew? Yeah.

I would never, ever send a message like that to you. Not in earnest. And I wouldn't send it to anybody else. I think it speaks a lot to a person's character when they would do something like that to you. Not in earnest. And I wouldn't send it to anybody else. I think it speaks a lot to a person's character when they would do something like that, especially in their 30s or 40s. That's a pretty big warning sign

to me. That's fair, but just if you're taking the angle of I'd maybe mend things in person and I still like them. I don't know. I feel like it's just a low risk. If it doesn't go well, you can just continue to ignore them. I don't know. I feel like it's just a low risk. Like if it doesn't go well, you can just continue to ignore them. Nick said I'm going to get mad Facebook messages now.

Not that I know of. I'll let you know in six years when I need to log into Facebook to check something. I'm scared now. I can't really think of anything that I have that's like that. There must be, right? Do you have an old like ICQ account or like any kind of messenger like that that still operates or not?

Really? I was an aim guy and then I was on. I made a Facebook and a Twitter account and that's about it. As far as social platforms that I used. I made a Lego. Lego has a social media website. I made that like a year ago. I don't think anyone's mad at me on there.

I don't remember what that's called. It was just weird as I was looking through because I'm so disconnected from social media is just looking through the app store and there's like a Lego social media thing. I think mainly for kids, but I don't I don't really know. I made an account. It's really dumb. It seems weird. I should check. Did you you enjoy it i didn't really use it like i made an account i didn't really understand what the purpose of it was and i didn't want to talk to anybody so it's sort of

useless but i wish i could remember what it's called uh hey uh if you guys will indulge me for a second i have a piece of like uh I guess a kind of piece of F*** Face related news, or at least Jeff related news that could be crowbarred into F*** Face. Well, first off, I'm having a crazy sports weekend that I did not intend. But six months ago or so, it was announced that the San Antonio Spurs were

going to have two games in Austin. And so I immediately bought tickets for both games. Turns out it's tonight and then Saturday night. And of course, it's late enough into the season where like they're playing the Spurs are playing the Portland Trailblazers tonight. And of course, the Spurs are at a playoff contention and the Trailblazers are at a playoff contention and they shut down Damian Lillard. So it's going to be like it's going to be basically like watching two practice squads play. So it's going to be basically like watching two practice squads play.

But still, I couldn't live with myself if NBA basketball came to town and it was five miles away from me and I didn't go to it. So I'm going to see a pointless NBA game tonight and then another pointless NBA game Saturday night. Taking Eric with me tonight, by the way. I'm very excited about that. You're going to hang out with Eric? I am going to hang out with Eric at a basketball game tonight. Eric? I am going to hang out with Eric at a basketball game tonight.

Anyway, yesterday I got an email from the San Antonio Brahma's, my favorite XFL football team, who would have been the focus of our podcast that never happened. And they said, hey man, we

heard you talking about the Brahma's on F*** Face. We wanted to invite you out to a game. So Sunday, I'm taking Emily and Millie and we're going to go down and we're going to watch a Brahmins game. They got us really cool seats by the clubhouse. And then they messaged me last night and they said, hey, by the way, if you want, we would

love it if you would run the team out on the field and we'll announce you. What? You gotta do this. Are you serious? It's gonna be on ESPN. No! It's gonna be on ESPN, I think.

So I'm gonna fucking run the team out. Can we clip this part out and release it before this happens? People need to know. Jeff, people need to know about this. I just confirmed 15 minutes before this podcast. I was like, I thought about it for a while. And I was like, I don't know if I want to. And I was like, you know what?

Fucking I like, I'll never get that opportunity. What? Are you kidding? What are you? I like the idea that a minute ago, you're like, I'd never live with myself if I missed the NBA coming to town. And then you like an opportunity to be on ESPN and run a team onto the field. You're like, I don't know about that. I've got to come to terms with the fact

that people can hear this podcast. I feel like it's so dangerous. Did I shit on their logo? Yeah, I did. You probably did. You did, but I defended it. I love the logo, and I think Andrew does too. Can we clip this part out and release it

so people know that this is happening? Are you fine with that, Jeff? Didn't you just ask that? I'm totally fine with that. Right, but I want to make sure. He didn't get an answer. Right, I asked it and then nobody said fucking shit about it. I've said yes both times, but I'm like the least qualified to prove it.

Gavin, what would the preview do for us? You know how Jeff's been doing like, oh, coming up on episode X of F*** Face on Instagram and that. Jeff, I'm so excited for you. This comes out on the week of the 19th. Have you thought about what you're going to wear? I don't know. You should wear the F*** Face baseball uniform.

Jeff, I might. Can I? Andrew said yes. Gavin thought we all said yes. I'm asking you, the person this is happening to, can I clip this part out and can we release it early, like this particular part where you announce it and let people know that you're going to be there

running the team out on the field? I'm totally fine with that if the other guys are. Thank you. And we could do it as preview of episode 150 before even 149's come out. That would be the, right, that's the issue that I'm running into. When you say that is that we're previewing an episode before the next episode.

I think that's great. That is the craziest. That is. Imagine, Gavin, imagine if a preview for the next Matrix movie came out, but it's not the next Matrix movie. It's the one after it. I think that's very interesting. It's once again, we're playing with the medium.

And people will be wondering, they'll be like, oh, don't you mean 149? Nope. Have you guys seen the trailer for Matrix 5 yet? I thought they haven't announced Matrix 4. They haven't. Okay, all right, we'll clip this out. We'll let people know.ff i'm so this is the

coolest fucking thing in the world to me this is so i think it's this rules this rules you're gonna run a team out on the field this rips dude this is so cool it's wild right i was probably just gonna wear like a brahmas hoodie but i don't know how hot it would be i'll definitely try to wear like my face hat or like maybe a baseball jersey or something. I think wearing the baseball jersey would be hilarious. A guy dressed in a baseball uniform like

you didn't have time to change. You're a multi-sport athlete and you had to go. There's no more time. Oh man, that's funny. Anyway, so it's's gonna be like a crazy fucking sports weekend and as somebody who's mostly a shut-in the idea of going to three events and one out of a out of town in four days is a little daunting to me but i'm gonna i'm gonna soldier through it i am so excited for you what a time it's pretty cool it's pretty cool

there's no way where this doesn't become more content. And I think that's what excites me the most. All the ways, respectfully to you, and I hope it doesn't. There's so many ways this could go wrong. There's so many ways in which this could fail for you. And no matter what happens, I'm really excited about it. I'm really, I was thinking to myself, like in the, like that episode, do you ever see the episode of Always Sunny where they're practicing hockey because they're going to shoot the slap shot to try to win $50,000 or whatever.

And Mac, he ends up falling and cracking his head open and they play it on sports center over and over again. And that's the highlight. I was like, if I can, if I can trip and be like, and like whacked in the head by one of the flags or like goes up my butt and

lifts me off the ground or something. And then I fucking fall like this. I'm kind of hoping something catastrophic happens just so I can make like not top 10 plays of the day. Yeah. I think you got to evaluate a blown quad for sure. Like your knee exploding. Exactly.

Yeah. You had to factor in those injuries. Did you see, I know Eric definitely would have seen this. Did you see the clip of Shane McMahon at WrestleMania getting hurt this past weekend? The timing of it. He had a match with The Miz. And it's hilarious where I guess Eric would probably know better than I would contextually.

It felt like Shane hadn't wrestled in a long time, I'm assuming. And so this is like their big WrestleMania match. And they start the match and he jumps over The Miz and the announcer yells, Shane still got it! While Shane simultaneously blew his quad out. He just falls to the ground. He couldn't do it. But luckily, Snoop Dogg was like leading him into the match.

He was like Shane's guy for it. And so they're panicking and they're like, what are we going to do? This guy blew his knee out within like 20 seconds. Snoop Dogg calls an audible, jumps into the ring and punches the Miz and then just goes off on the mic about it and it's like how could you do this to my man Shane and he hits him a second time and then he just started posing

and he did one of the worst people's elbows I've ever seen to the Miz so they'd have an ending but they improvised all of it because the guy blew his knee up and is the guy just rolling around on the ground in pain while Snoop Dogg yeah there's a they like extracted him at a certain point. They just got him out of it. That's Shane McMahon.

I just sent the clip of Shane McMahon doing the leapfrog landing and blowing his quad out. Oh, I recognize that from the NBA. He ain't going nowhere. Oh my God. That's 18 months of rehab. Yeah. Isn't it crazy how your body could just immediately fail

and then want it? Yeah. It was really something. And then I can send the clip of Snoop Dogg doing the people's elbow. Oh, so good. This was all improv. They kept yelling at him, Snoop, people's elbow. Do the people's elbow.

Do the people's elbow. Do the people's elbow. Then he did it. And that, and everybody cheered. And then they played a Snoop dog song and he danced around. It was pretty, it was pretty crazy. It was pretty fucking crazy.

It's the way he bounces off the ropes. Makes me laugh so hard. Every time it's the daintiestiest because it's tough to do this. It is. It's a difficult thing. It looks like he was just like peeping out a window. Anyone out there? Nope.

We got to get this podcast big enough so that Eric can do that on a wrestling. I mean, honestly, I could probably just go to a local show in Austin and do that now. It just won't be at WrestleMania ever. Yeah, but we want it to be at WrestleMania. Okay.

Sounds good. Eric, why don't you just become a local wrestler? Oh, it hurts. It hurts. Yeah, it seems really painful. It is very painful. Whether you have a good match or a bad match, it hurts the same. And that was a big revelation when I learned how to do it.

But you're all about it. Like, wouldn't you want to be stuck in? I mean, it's fun, but like it seems like then you have to like you're either going to weekend warrior the thing and you're just going to kind of like be at a level. And then it's like an obligation every week or it's fun just to go to shows. It would be fun is like a one-off thing but that's it i don't think i could ever like do it to do it consistently especially and i i know there are people that have started wrestling at an older age i feel like once you've hit an age where you wake up with injuries that you don't know how they happen the idea of wrestling is

so much less appealing like that's a real that's a real, that's a real pursuit. Yeah, it's a lot. And I don't, it's a lot. That's kind of how I feel about stand-up. It's fun to do, like, three times a day. Yeah, I think that's a good way to, I think it's kind of like the same exact thing.

It's like, this is neat, but also if I had to do this four times a week, every week, I would never. I would never. Yeah, you don't,

you don't want to get hurt. You don't want to take that kind of pain and I don't want to stay up late. You look at people now like Mick Foley and people who, whatever, it's like, I know wrestling's fake and all that stuff, but the guy's got no teeth and his ear is missing, and he fell through the top of a cage. That guy was absolutely nuts.

Yeah, it's crazy. I have some friends that wrestle. I have a friend who wrestles locally here and kind of all over texas this guy dimitri alexandrov and he does a lot of death match wrestling which is uh it like if you're not familiar he goes through glass panels and into thumbtacks and gets cut up with stuff and hit with stuff. And it's always like, man, you just really love this, huh? And he does. But also, this is what he looks like all the time. He's just beat up, cut up constantly. Constantly.

It's fucked, man. It's really rough. I feel like I'm in a great spot with wrestling where it's like i'll occasionally hear dumb things about it that make me really appreciate it but then i'm not super lee it'd be fun it just seems like a big commitment to keep up to date with everything it does but it's great whenever you hear like i i recently learned that in the past ray mysterio has a kid named Dominic and they had a ladder match for the custody of Dominic that is a premise so funny to me

I don't know anything else about the context of it but I just love the idea of a custody battle being settled via ladder match that's the image from the that's so good but now he's now he's a great heel he's an amazing wrestler from the paper. Oh my gosh. That poor little kid. That's so good. But now he's a great heel.

He's an amazing wrestler. He just wrestled his dad, Rey Mysterio, at WrestleMania. It was pretty crazy. I guess he's got some issues to work out probably. Wow, I didn't expect from being pawned off

in a ladder match. I think I'd like to be decided through a ladder match. I think that'd be fun. Well. At least you can tell both people want me. That's your concern? That is your concern. You just want to be wanted?

That's so spoken like a true child of divorce. God damn, man. I just want two people to want me. It's like reminds me of when my parents got divorced. My stepdad said, I'm still going to be a part of your life. Don't you worry. And then he went out to get the ladder for the ladder match. And I'm still waiting for it to happen.

Oh, God damn. Oh, damn. Oh, it's so sad. I think more stuff should be decided like that. Like if people want to quit their job, you should just have to like play for it. You should have to wrestle for it. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process, especially because we're always growing

and changing. And it's so important that as we go through these changes and are growing as people that we evaluate how things are impacting us. Therapy is all about deepening your self-awareness and understanding because sometimes we don't know what we want or why we react the way we do until we talk through things. BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist who can take you on that journey of self-discovery from wherever you are. Therapy, I think, is a wonderful thing. It has had a tremendous impact in my life.

I would highly recommend anyone try it. I just think it's such an important process to go through as a person. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit betterHelp.com slash face today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash face. Take on the sun with gear built to last. Our friends at Shady Rays have you covered for the warm weather ahead with premium

polarized shades at an affordable price. Shady Rays is an independent sunglasses company that offers a world-class product that's just as good as any expensive pair we've worn. Durable frames and extremely clear optics for outdoor adventures. And that's not all. Shady Rays offers the most insane protection in all of eyewear.

Every pair of sunglasses is backed by lost and broken replacements. If you lose or break your pair, even on day one, they told us they will send you a brand new pair, no questions asked. Wear your Shady Rays with confidence because they have your back long after purchase. Every purchase supports the Shady Rays Impact Program, which works directly with nonprofits and their communities to empower and make adventure accessible for all walks of life from childhood cancer patients to young adults with serious health conditions shady rays is making a lasting impact on their lives through sunglasses if you don't love your shady rays exchange for a new pair or return them for free within 30 days

there's no risk when you shop their team always has your back so exclusively for our listeners shady rays is giving out their best deal of the season go to shadyrays.com and use code face for 50 off two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses try for yourself the shades rated five stars by over 250,000 people. Oh, man. Hey, speaking of wrestling, do you remember that movie The Wrestler with Mickey Rourke? Yes. Absolutely. Well, I watched another movie with Mickey Rourke. Oh.

Oh, no. Well, you know, I've been reading the comments and people seem to like him, but I liked the experimentation of it, so here's what I did. I watched two movies. One of them I think we may have talked about on this podcast before. I can't remember.

But one thing that I've learned is that every piece of content that was created more than five years ago is problematic. Every piece of content that was made more than 20 years ago is beyond problematic. And that was not my intention when I watched these movies. But I watched the 1987 film Angel Heart with Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet in it. And I watched this movie specifically because I remember wanting to watch it when I was

a kid, but I was too scared because there's like some voodoo stuff in it and it was too scary for me. And so I thought the other night I wasn't sleepy. I was playing Gems of War after Emily went to bed and I got bored and I thought, I'm going to watch a movie. And so I was like, you know, it just popped into my head and I thought, fuck it, I'm going to watch it. I got about 20 minutes in before I had to turn it off

because it was too scary. But then I watched it the next morning. So let me just say, if you want to watch Angel Heart, watch it in the morning. But I don't know how to really give a review for these problematic films. So I just decided to give insights. And by the way, let me say specifically to Angel Heart, not to the other movie. It's beautiful. Like, it is one of the most cinematic films I've ever seen.

It's so beautifully shot. Just from a technical standpoint, it is phenomenal. Can I ask, were you scared to watch it while you were... seen it's so beautifully shot uh just from a technical standpoint it is phenomenal can i ask were you scared to watch it while you were were you watching this in bed next to sleeping emily no i was in the living room okay do you think if you were in the bedroom watching it you would have been able to handle it no and i wouldn't have done it because i would have jumped so much it would have woken her up i don't think you can watch scary next to somebody sleeping i think that's too dangerous yeah if you're somebody who reacts to it,

that's definitely a selfish move. You, I, I always remembered, and I don't mean this to be mean, but I always remember Mickey Rourke as being kind of a joke actor because he kind of went off the deep end after nine and a half weeks and, uh,

and wild orchid. And he just, he just got weird. Right. But he was so fucking good and so good looking like he was a really attractive guy in 1987 in this movie angel heart like holy shit uh but anyway here's my insights to it uh here's all i'll say about uh because i don't really want to recommend these movies or not i'm just gonna say that the particular insights that i've i've learned and this one i'm just gonna give you a warning uh

uh what did i write then here we go Angel Heart this is a tough movie to watch if you like chickens conversely this is a really tough movie to watch if you don't like chickens so that's what I'm that's all I'm going to say about Angel Heart the other movie I watched which is one I think I can't remember if we've talked about

or you and I have talked about personally Gavin is a movie called Dressed to Kill do you guys that bring a bell have we discussed Gavin, is a movie called Dressed to Kill. Does that bring a bell? Have we discussed that? Like that, yeah. Dressed to Kill. It sounds familiar. It sounds familiar.

It came out in 1980. It's a Brian De Palma film, a deeply problematic film. Stars Michael Caine, which is why I thought maybe we had discussed it in the past, Gavin, maybe personally. I can't remember anything about it. All I'm going to say about this film is if you ever,

and I think this is good life advice in general, if you ever drop a glove at a museum, like you just like you're wearing gloves, like isotoners specifically in this instance, and one of them falls, and then you realize you dropped your glove and you go back for it, you will end up getting a venereal disease

and then you will be like, God. So if you drop a glove at a museum, leave it. Museums just became way more high stakes. Yeah, there you go. That's Dressed to Kill and Angel Heart. Angel Heart, tough to watch if you like chickens. Tough to watch if you don't like chickens.

And then Dressed to Kill, let the glove go. You'll die with the disease. I'm very torn on this chicken thing because I love chicken. I consider myself a huge chicken guy, but mainly because of what they taste like in eating them. And I don't know if that means

I like or dislike chickens. Yeah, I'm not sure how to evaluate this. But you think you would dislike the taste if you liked chickens more? Well, I just I don't know how I feel. Can I say i like chickens when i like chickens because i eat chickens a lot i consume a lot of chicken yeah so okay so i'm pro chick even though that's against the chicken from the chicken's perspective

they would hate me well i mean i would say the average person could say well i eat a lot of eggs right and that's something that a chicken provides but you don't you're not an egg that's a great point i've balanced it out i'm not an egg guy i think we're yeah that's a great thanks jeff what class is a movie as problematic is it when well well here's the thing right is it when the good guy does something that's shitty by today's standards? Because surely the bad guy, like murdering people's bad, right?

But that still happens in movies today. In this specific case of Dressed to Kill, I could explain it, but it would spoil the secret of the movie. Like this is kind of the secret point of the movie is why it's problematic. But I'll tell you that, like, the way they treat it, the way the good people in the movie treat it

is also problematic. I'll say that. Interesting. Yeah. And then Angel Heart. Angel Heart's just, it's just a movie that takes place in Brooklyn and New York in the 1940s. So it's just pure racism constantly

yeah I don't think it's even like character specific I think it's almost like an idea of handling a subject irresponsibly on a platform that is large it's funny too because you can tell in the watching of Dressed to Kill

that they think they're handling the subject properly and maybe they were for 1980 tell in the watching of Dressed to Kill that they think they're handling the subject properly and maybe they were for 1980 given sensibilities then, but it hasn't aged well. I would love to go back and read IMDB reviews of stuff, because some of those reviews

are like 20 years old. I think it would be fascinating to go back to a movie like Chasing Amy or something and read the reviews when it just came out compared to reading the reviews now. I bet they'd be fascinating to go back to a movie like chasing Amy or something and read the reviews when it just came out compared to reading the reviews now, I bet they'd be pretty different. Oh, for sure.

For sure. I'm listening to, uh, there's this podcast I listened to called, you must remember this. And it's this lady who, uh, uncovers like the secret histories of Hollywood's first 100 years.

And so it's like the stories behind the stories she's doing. Uh, she's doing a series I now called erotic eighties. And so it's like the stories behind the stories. She's doing a series I now call Erotic 80s. And so she's going through. And right now, the episode I just listened to was all about Pretty Woman and what a phenomenon that movie was that launched the career of Julia Roberts and was seen as this very empowering love story and has not aged particularly well.

And you get to hear like the reviews of, she reads the reviews of it from like the magazines at the time and then discusses like how the view has changed over time and how it hasn't. It's fascinating if you're into that kind of thing. It's the same with like when you watch Sleepless in Seattle or something,

like Bill Pullman's character is like the dweeb who she like wants nothing to do with, but he's the only good person in the movie and she's like a crazy stalker person and Tom Hanks is also terrible. Like the two main, the two like heroes of the movie

are just she, they're just awful. But I'm sure when it came out, it was fine. Yeah. Yeah. Like contextually change it. You know what's weird about Chasing Amy is that

there are trading cards for that movie oh we should get some I don't know if they're out they got announced in like 2019 and they consistently seem to get pushed but I just I think it's such a weird thing to release modern trading cards for Chasing Amy

there's like chase autograph cards like I just don't know who that is for like obviously kevin smith fans but it just is such a niche movie i'll tell you who it's for it's for me in 1998 i just the idea of having like a ben affleck auto for chasing amy is really funny to me what year was that because all those movies got turbo Weinstein'd, didn't they? Yeah. Probably like 99 or so, I would think. No, I mean, like, when did the cards come out?

Oh, they haven't yet. I don't think they've released yet. Oh. I think they keep getting pushed back. I think it's pre-orders everywhere. Infinitely pushed. Yeah, like, yeah, you can pre-order. Yeah, it's pre-order now, it says.

Yeah, it's really strange. Like, I've never seen them available for sale, but they popped up on my radar in like 2019 thank that's a thank me later i had a great one of those recently that i'm very excited about i set myself up in a prime position for a thank me later with um the guy that made calvin and hobbs is doing his first book since stopping there. It comes out in October. What is that? Bill?

Bill Watterson. I want to say, yeah, I've ordered that. It'll come in October. I'm definitely going to forget. I'm so excited to just randomly get that book in October. It's going to be great.

You'll thank you later. I will. I had a weird thing happen. Not a weird thing. I've been doing a weird thing and it's made me think about weird things you have things that you don't Eric said no way

I will say that there was recently a poll on the Twitter account of who is the weird one after the whole argument of I think we had that debate where did that come from yeah I would like a recount because mine was not high enough I won with like 67% of the vote I should have had higher but as the weird one yes the weird one I definitely more than that we're we're pushing against you being the weird one that was oh I'm definitely

more weird than you are but anyway weirdness that was an unfortunate way of phrasing that. I really regret this entire angle that I've gone through. Anyway, I had a thing that it has become normalized where I have a pack, I don't even know how to explain this. I have a bag of, you know, gingerbread houses? Have you heard of those? Yeah.

I had one of those and I never make them, but I opened it up. And so I just ended up with a bag of icing gingerbread houses have you heard of those yeah i had one of those and i never make them but i opened it up and so i just ended up with a bag of icing on my my bedside table and it's been there since november and it has turned into my ice pack when i need an ice pack it's like whenever i have like a really bad headache i just grab my bag of icing because it's cold and i put that on my head it's kind of just from being in the head it's cold just from being in the room it's cold from just being in the room it's become my reusable ice pack uh and i never thought about how odd it is that i'm using a bag of icing from a gingerbread house as an ice pack so i was

curious if you guys had things that you like when you take a step back you realize oh this is odd but i can how it happened yeah go ahead have you considered using an ice pack uh well that often is in my little fridge and if i'm in bed and i'm comfortable but i have a headache or something oh but the icing is always within arm's reach the icing is always within arm's reach so i just grab it and it works great i use it on one side then it heats up and I just grab it, and it works great. I use it on one side, then it heats up, and then I flip it over, and it's cooling in, and then I'm probably good by the time it reheats. Why is the icing there?

Because I opened it in my bedroom, and I left it on the bedside table. bedroom and I I just I left it on the bedside table like I put I never built the set it's still the gingerbread is still wrapped up in my closet and the icing just ended up on my end table and one day when I was having

a headache like I kind of felt like I was fighting a fever or something I was like oh fuck I have this I'll just put this this feels cold and I've used it ever since I've been using this for like three months now But it just occurred to me that this is a odd thing I Was like this is strange. I'm taking a step back It is I don't think there are many people using bags of gingerbread icing for ice packs

This is curious if you guys had anything if you take a step back Maybe had a natural lead-in to it or like it makes it's how you got there i don't think i made any weird choices along the way i just i think it was a pretty weird choice the first time you picked it up and put it on your head yeah well no i was feeling awful and i was like i need to cool down somehow what can i do and i just grabbed that i don't think i had an ice pack in my room at that time. So you were being resourceful and you discovered a method that works so well, you've

eliminated the need to refreeze your ice pack. Yes. The fact that it works at room temperature. I like to keep my room very cold. I'm a cold room guy. Let me ask you this. Do you anticipate ever eating the frosting or the icing? No.

No. So it's... I think... I made that... I had that thought. I think it is more useful to me as an ice pack than it is a food to consume. When is icing useful?

Whenever I have a headache or I feel too hot. I don't think that's what he meant. I don't... Whenever I have a headache or I feel too hot I don't think that's what he meant I don't Whatever you need to build A gingerbread house If you removed icing from the world

It might be the least impactful thing Oh I think you get very underrating The least impactful It's only ever on top Of what you want to eat We got this fucking Branstad mouse son of a bitch talking down to icing. Dude, if I get a choice between eating a cake or the icing that goes on a cake, I'm eating the icing that goes on a cake and throwing the cake away.

Oh, we should eat more cakes together because I always just smear the icing off the top so I can eat the cake. Yes, let's only eat our cakes together from here. I hate the fact that you would rank the pickled onion above icing. That's terrible. Well, the pickled onion is more centered in what you're eating. I don't want the pickled onion, though.

That's just something you don't like. Yeah, but I think I'm not in the minority in that. I think a lot more people prefer icing than the pickled onion. That's like saying, oh, let's get rid of lava. I'd never use it. No, shut up. No, they're both food.

Let's not let that at all. You're saying least impactful. I'm saying that I think getting rid of pickled onion is less impactful than icing. I think there are way more people that like icing than pickled onion. But with icing gone, you still have the thing that the icing is on. If pickled onions are gone, what have you got in your hand? I don't need the pickled onion. But with icing gone, you still have the thing that the icing is on. If pickled onions are gone, what have you got in your hand? Onion. I don't need the pickled onion. I don't care about the fact

that I have a shitty cake without icing. Geoff, did you say onion? Onion. The pickled onion's gone. No, but you still have an onion. It's just not pickled. You have a pickle in one hand and an onion in the other. So you're just de-pickling it. Yeah, you're just getting rid of the pickled onion.

Why would getting rid of pickled onion get rid of all onion? That's ridiculous. If you're thinking that getting rid of icing is getting rid of all sugar, what are you saying? Speaking of pickled onion, because somebody refused to do their Plowman's pizza recipe, I spent yesterday at my coffee shop, pizza recipe I spent yesterday at my at my coffee shop I spent about two hours watching the pizza day video over and over I probably watched it four times it's 27 minutes long I want to say

so I watched it I watched about two hours of it so that I could write the plowman's recipe which I think I did a lovely uh job of and now the cookbook is done. Tony's laying it out. That's so exciting. I only contributed to Plowman's... What did I do again? You did stuff. You did stuff. You did stuff. You did like your cold sandwich. You did the Plowman's pizza. You have a salad in there. You've got lots of stuff.

Everybody's represented. You did, and it's a really, really good recipe. It's actually, I don't want to play favorites, but it's one of the best in the book. Oh, sick. Yeah, then I just forgot to do the pizza one. It's actually, I don't want to play favorites, but it's one of the best in the book. Oh, sick. Yeah, then I just forgot to do the pizza one. It's 55 pages it looks like. Holy shit. Yeah, 55 pages of recipes.

I still have to write the end, and that's going to hopefully be seven or eight pages by itself, but we'll see. I'm excited to see how that turns out. Me too. Anyway, I can't imagine it'll find its way to shelves anytime soon. We still have to lay it out. And then it takes a billion years to get a book printed.

But it is that progress is underway. I have a I have an idea that I've already talked to Tony. I was going to I was curious to see what you guys thought. I need to pitch this to you. So I was I was thinking about like I love the Gerbler so much. I use my Ger gerpler all the time and then i was just thinking of like all the dumb stuff we've released and how great that we could have like a switch fuck and that exists we've got the mini bats and like all that dumb shit how

lucky it is that that we have the ability to essentially make whatever we want and it's just like and tony's so great at coming up and mocking things. I was thinking about when I was doing the Anal Passage website, all the stuff he mocked up, and just how I feel like we're in a position that we're not fully utilizing where we essentially could attempt to create

at least an iteration of whatever we wanted. And so I wanted, I had an idea of what if we all came up with what we would just our own like what is a product that is not in the world or a thing that we want that doesn't exist at least in the way we want it and then we pitch them to each other we present them like we talk to Tony independently all of us about what we would like and then we get like a finalized thing and then we present the products to each other of like what our ideal product would be so it's the next round of unifar sort of yeah almost like a uniform thing i'm not going to claim that it's a uniform thing because that's that's a jeff uh design i'm not

going to say that this is a uniform line but just the idea of the ability to make whatever you want is such a privileged position we have and there are some dumb things that i would love to have that just don't exist uh in the world so we're trying to create new objects yeah so all three of us would talk to tony and this is going to take a really long time from when we initially discuss it to it becoming an actual thing that could be purchasable but yeah the idea is we all would talk to tony independently about what we'd want and then once it becomes kind of like a finalized thing we present it to each other on the show of what our products would be jeff's going to ape shit in the chat i just keep posting the wrong photos i thought the same thing i thought that was a pipe i thought it was a tiny little like

bubble blowing pipe no i just figured while andrew was talking about the Gerpler, I was just preloading this, some pictures I took of the Gerpler the other day. The point is, I think it's a great idea Andrew, and I'm on board. Just let me know when and where to be and how to do it. That's great. Here's something complicated.

Yeah, just you fucking figure it out. You got it. Let me know. I come up with bullshit and give it to Tony and he makes it? We can do that. No, I think it's a great idea. We have to invent products from the ground up. Yeah, whatever, man. Just kind of like, I don't know,

is it like a Tuesday or Wednesday or whatever? Dude, inventing products from the ground up is what I do. I'm all about it. For instance, did you know that the Gerbler is not just the premier drinking vessel for humans throughout the world? It also casts a really long red boner shadow. Now, Jeff sent me these photos over the weekend. He texted me these images and I love them.

They're great. I think these are great. I had the realization. I think these are the best photos Jeff has ever taken. I was going to compliment the composition on them yeah yeah they look great like these should be in the store page for the product i woke up the other morning and the gerbler i had left it uh on the counter and it was like 7 a.m and the sun had hit the window just right and it just made this long red like reflection of the gerbler down my uh countertop and i just thought like wow that's that's another benefit to the gerbler has i didn't even think about it casts a really cool

shadow and i was talking to tony about it because you know we have the blue we have the purple and the green gerbler coming out and i asked him if there's a way we can manipulate the lighting so that we have them cross and then that creates purple oh that's amazing right so we're gonna create we're gonna have them he's gonna we're gonna them cross and then that creates purple. Oh, that's amazing. Right? So we're going to create, we're going to have them, he's going to, we're going to get on it. We're going to figure out a way with Wes or whoever and we're going to recreate

what I've done here, but with the green and purple and create gerbil in the middle. Do you think if we put a green or if we put both colors on either side of the roof of your house, Jeff, and when the sun shines and they cross, that's where we dig. That's a great idea.

I love that idea. That's such a great idea. You're going Indiana Jones with it. I thought you were going Batman and we were making like a gurp signal. I like your idea so much better. That's so good. Oh my god. Although I think technically for them to cross, we would need two suns. Might not work.

You figure it out. We'll figure it out. Somebody on Jeff's roof with a flashlight and you're set. Flashlight and the sun. We just need a sun and a mirror. We'll be there. We got... Anyway, I love your idea, Andrew.

We got all this stuff, just so you guys are aware. We got all this stuff just so you guys are aware. We got all this stuff for. What is it? The the Gerbler, the golden Gerbler, all that stuff. We just have to, like, find a time and make. Yeah, the sun coming through a nice golden Gup is going to look so nice. It's going to be beautiful. It's going to be really cool.

Also, the little USB drives that contain the secret video are really nice in themselves. Yes. They're very cool. They are. Oh, cool. Very cool. And we have to make, we have to do, like, I'm really excited, I guess is what I'm saying. I'm very excited to see what happens and what we do next and what people are going to do with it.

Because it's going to be, I don't know, like it feels like what Andrew was saying. I'm sorry to get belabored about this, but I like it. It gets me like really excited. We have a way to make whatever we want. And then when you see it come into fruition, it's like so exciting to me to actually see like, oh, like I thought we were just fucking around. It's like, oh, no, this is real. Like this is. Oh, my God. It's like, oh no, this is real. Like this is a real thing. Oh my God.

It's very, very cool. We haven't discussed the stuff we saw with the audience yet. Have we? We saw it the other day in Tony's office. No, I don't think so.

It's very cool. There's some stuff coming out that's gonna, it's just fucking, it's, I don't even know how to describe it. It's so ludicrous. It's very exciting.

I also want to kind of double back to something Andrew said, where he said, these are the best pictures Jeff has ever taken. This is a picture that he took of Gus when we were doing an episode of Canva. I think this picture is incredible. We've posted it before. I think it's really great. And Jeff took this picture and showed it to me, and I went, this is such a good fucking photo.

What is wrong with you normally? And he went, I was a photographer for years. Yeah, we've already established he's a great photographer. It's insane that this can happen. Listen, there's time to try and there's time not to try. I think it's less about when you want to try and more that watching you try and use an iPhone camera is very similar to watching my grandparents try to use it.

I was going to say, I think the skill is there, but it's lost in the use of the device. So if you take enough photos, this is bound to happen. You give me pictures. You give me a Canon F1 and a roll and a roll of Ilford film and I'll fuck your world up.

Fucking flat disk of a phone where everything I touch turns voice activation on and I'm I have issues. I'm good to see it's happy to see it though. that's great I feel like it's like the retired athlete like still sinking a three from a distant like like you still got it like every the skills are maybe not fully there in the current world that we live but it's there there's something there there's a root there yeah you're Yeah, you're like Ahmad Rashad, where you just get him back out there

and he can make something happen, but most of the time, nope. Hey, we're doing the rock draft tomorrow, right? I believe so, yeah. I'm so excited for that. Are you really? Rock, not rock? I really, honestly.

Fuck you, Gavin. I really am. Jesus Christ. Dude, I put so much work. I spent over over two hours today working on my rock draft getting it ready But I was laughing the entire time Who goes first well is that you're about to ask well? Yeah, like basically like who picks the rock? I think what do you mean well whoever goes first is clearly picking to a no no I don't I just I I Went I made certain i'm gonna be so

bummed if any of you guys pick my rocks because i got i got did i did a presentation i'm gonna be serious with you i i did i did fucking fun facts for each rock like i got a whole thing so i chose rocks that i don't think you guys will pick purely yeah so do we have the ability then yeah to like display powerpoints i was gonna share my screen with y'all via discord i figured will pick purely. Yeah. So do we have the ability then to display PowerPoints? I was going to share my screen with you all via Discord, I figured. Okay.

Fantastic. Try and do some. I still need to come up with three other rocks, but then I'm ready. You come up with my rock. We can talk about the rules of the rock draft

when we actually do the rock draft because I feel like that's probably where it's really going to land and it's going to be a while before it's out. So there's not really a point here. However, and Andrew, I don't want to put you on the spot.

You said there might be another draft you want to do. Is that something you want to talk about here or not? Sure. Sure. I can talk about it here. I was going to explain it to you guys either pre-show or after. My idea, I was thinking about Jeff and malls and I was thinking like Jeff loves malls. And as if Jeff was in my town what would what aspect

of the mall do I think Jeff would most care about which then made me think like what if we all drafted like we were malls like imagine we're all malls and we're drafting mall stores and then whoever has the best mall wins the draft that's what the audience would be voting on

you get four stores or maybe not even stores, right? Four stores or four establishments within a mall to make the perfect mall. Is it aspects of the mall, or is it like physical places within the mall? I think it's physical places, and I think it's not,

you can't take like cafeteria. Like you have to take a place. Like you'd have to pick like Sbarro if you're gonna, okay, got it. Yes. Oh man, I'm fucking set. I've already, I have i have two oh it's gonna be hard to whittle down oh there's so many great my for me i i think there's a clear one one in my opinion of mall places but that's you know it'll be interesting to see as well because like when i think where is the mall located anywhere it's just it's your mall it doesn't really matter i mean can i be bringing

in an english chain to my, I was about to ask, I was about to ask if Gavin is going to end up with a very British mall, it's going to be weird. Like he's going to go, Oh yeah, and we're going to go. But I guess the price of that is like, if you, you're potentially taking away votes, if like a smaller percentage of the audience doesn't know what you're talking about.

Like for me, cafeteria New York fries is a Canadian mall staple, but that is a Canadian thing. Like I don't I don't expect anyone to know that. So am I losing votes by putting that even though in my head that is a definitive mall experience? I'm going to get working on this immediately. Oh, man. Do you know? Ah, shit, Andrew.rew what you just gave me an idea oh no you just gave me an undoable idea oh no does it do i'm sitting here on

i'm sitting here in my head trying to trying to build trying to lay my mall out my four stores how they would look next to each other and then i realized what I need is a tiny town for malls. They should make tiny town, but for mall stores. And then instead of making Christmas and Thanksgiving or Halloween, you could build your own perfect fucking mall out of ceramic tiny towns.

How do I do that? And if you had four, would you put them all in a line? Right, or how do you do it? Do you do like catty corner? I don't know. Oh man, I want to build a, I want a mall tiny town. Do you know, I mean, that probably doesn't exist,

but do you definitively know? No, I don't definitively know, but I can't imagine it does. Eric, can you contact the Department 56 people and tell them to make tiny town malls? I will do my best to do it. I feel like Andrew is the person that you want doing that. I feel like he has the best success at this thing, but I will do it for you if you'd like.

Well, maybe Andrew would be better. That's what I'm saying. Eric, what's your percentage this week? Oh, I'm probably up to like a cool 70, 75. I'm feeling pretty good. Hey! I'm feeling pretty good. That's great.

Here's the thing. This isn't like like this isn't ankle integrity like i think that's important to know is that this isn't a number that just goes up every week it's just it's a number where i look at what is on my calendar and how things work and then i like next week probably not going to be just based on looking at what i have next week probably not going to be uh right around that number but we will see because i on looking at what i have next week probably not going to be uh right around that number but we will see because i'm looking at my calendar i'm trying to decide which thursday i want to kick off again about not having um nitro but it seems like maybe not

next week uh we can do you can do it next week if you'd like um that yeah that that should be fine yeah maybe just before we start you just let me know how it's... Yeah, absolutely. I'll come in, we'll start the episode, I'll be like 44, and you're like, not this week, but then I go like 81, and you go, ooh, fucking get him. That's a good idea. That'll work. We should wrap up, though, because we are...

Oh, man. I'm sorry, it's, you know, quick hour. Very quick hour. It's quick as dicks. It was pretty fucking quick. We should stop there, because I have a at uh chumley's at 4 10 damn he's fancy his mall his mall restaurant takes reservations god damn i was just gonna go with california pizza kitchen uh i should say uh on the way out uh i'm gonna do a plug we don't ever do these, but I figure I should.

There's a comedy festival in Austin called the Moon Tower Just for Laughs Comedy Festival. It's a big deal in the comedy world, I guess, in Austin. They have it every year. Tons of comedians come for it. It's like a three-day. It's like Woodstock for comedians. I don't know. It's like Woodstock for comedians. And Rooster Teeth is going to put on a special Rooster Teeth podcast.

Live ticketed event on April 19th. Nick, when does this episode come out? This day? No. The 19th. Okay, cool. Yeah. So if you're listening to this and you're not doing anything

at 6 o'clock tonight, if you're listening to this and you're not doing anything, it's six o'clock tonight. If you want to come out to the RT podcast, I'm in it because everybody else in the company said no. So I'll be there. I'd love to see you. Hey, somebody, somebody is listening. It's just like, I gotta go. I don't have time.

I gotta go. Also want to say you should come to RTX July 7th through 9th. We will have the F*** Face Museum. So that will be on the show floor. You can experience

well I don't want to give away the whole list but I mean we can say the porta potty will be there and we can say there's going to be a few other things and something you have to see

to believe. That's true. I got some stuff I need to give you probably for that. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, yeah. We're going to need everybody's stuff. I have, for instance,

I'm looking at Gavin's guilt basket card. Yep. That could go up. I got Puss Puss and Owl Owl right here. I got the nice to three, the thrice to meet you is hanging on a hook. I can see it. That's perfect.

That's a great one. Yep. I haven't even seen that. I got the rock from my backyard. Face rock? Oh, speaking of which, I know we're ending, but I saw something on social media the other day. I think it was on Reddit.

Somebody had a suggestion. You know how pretty soon we're going to dig our six foot hole and then we're going to put a USB drive of the episode where we talked about digging the hole at the bottom of it? Yeah. And just that? Somebody said you should put at the, at the, at the bottom and then place the,

the USB drive on top of it. You should put a protected by Falcon sign. And I think that's actually a great idea. Oh yeah. Because then you dig all the way to the bottom and then you see it and you're like, Oh shit, I found this USB drive.

I wonder what's on it. Oh fuck. It's also protected by Falcon. I don't know. Yeah. Here's my only concern, Jeff. If they're a reasonable person, they would return the USB

drive because it's protected by falcons and they don't want that heat in their life. That's almost too much of a threat. I don't want to steal something from a falcon. It's protected by falcons. Listen, maybe they're an Indiana Jones. Maybe they're not scared to fucking throw caution to the wind and get chased

by a giant boulder. I don't know. They put a different USB drive down and swap it. They carefully portion out a tiny bag of sand that's the exact same weight as the USB drive. Nick's got a good point. Do you think the strumming smell would be gone from the

port-a-potty by the time it's in the museum? I guess we'll find out. Didn't you order some of that? Yeah, so it's not going to be here anytime soon. You can't get it. I'm trying to get it in the U.S. Cannot get it in the U.S. It is coming from another country,

and so I'll keep everyone updated as it goes. It's also expensive for gross fish. Oh, it was like $75 for this tin's also expensive. Oh. For gross fish. How much? Oh, it was like 75 bucks for this tin. Oh! For a tin of disgusting fish. Shit! Right?

Like, gross. I can't wait for this bit. Yeah, this is gonna be... Can I say... I think there will... Look, we need to wrap up, but Jeff, I think, will fall to his hubris

and I think it's very exciting to see. Well, it's also gonna be by the sounds of it, the summer by the time we do it, it's gonna be the worst time ever. I have no memory of agreeing to do this bit. I guess I did recently. Are you serious? I will do it. I will do it. I'm not

supposed to do it. Sausage talk 2. Yep. Did I? Is that where? I don't know. I can't remember it, but. You had confidence in your flaps. Your nose flaps. I do. I do have. I'm flexing my flaps right now while we're talking. Alright, wrap up. Let's go. Alright. Hey, thanks're talking. Alright, wrap up. Let's go. Alright.

Hey, thanks for listening. Hey, come back next week and we'll do it all again. How's that sound? Huh? Alright. Ta-ta. Huh? I just realized that I shared my icing thing and you guys did not follow up with anything I don't think. So I just like exposed

my weirdness and I was on an island of weird. I'll have something next week. Great. Alright, bye. Bye. Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. This isn't a good first episode. Errol Flynn was a badass. Gavin has a secret apple.

Jeff wants an NBA team in Austin. The boys talk brahmas. Should we buy Sloppy Joe's a new camera? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.