F**kface - On Skwinkles Time // Ball Hands vs Poo Ear [41]

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Andrew's file setup, homework, fruit sins, Peter Gabriel, knuckle up, orangutan, dumb day, the particles, new word Geoff hates, in a food hurry, Andrew has a clip, ketchup, beaver lies, is she good at nature, rare fruit, and different names in different places. Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast. This is episode 41. My name is Jeff Ramsey with me as always. Eric Badour, Nick Schwartz, Gavin Free, Andrew Panton. We all have new nicknames and we are sitting on our nicknames because we can't use them until the nickname draft comes out, but I'm dying to say everybody's new names at the start of the episode. That'll be next week, by the way.

The 23rd is when the nickname draft comes out, by the way. Thank you. Jeff and myself and Andrew are all using our nicknames in Slack though. Here we are. Sure are. Partially so I don't forget what mine is. Yours is unforgettable man. I think yours is great. Yours so describes you too. I feel so good about it. Sure does. Yeah, no, it's good. I'm not, you know, not revealing anything, but yeah. Excited for nicknames. I'm excited, excited for that draft to come out and for the audience to see the process and see where we arrived and what nicknames

almost made it but didn't quite get there. Yeah. There were some good ones. Eric, particularly, I had a bunch of really good ones, I thought. No, I don't know why you and Emily are pushing that one so hard. You're like, yeah, right, how come you didn't like that?

And it's like the worst one on the whole board. Like, you're insane. Well, I'd say, you know, And it's like the worst one on the whole board. Like what? Like you're insane. Let's you know, the nickname is often the opposite of a person, you know, like tiny for a big guy. Hey, did I have homework for this episode? We were going to get into the mind table again, because you left us so flummoxed last time. I don't remember what we're going to get into, though. Does anyone remember the specifics? Is this is this like a are you baiting us somewhere?

No, I just because Eric said we should start with the thing. And I was curious if you guys remembered what the thing was, because I remember being like, oh, we'll continue this next time. But I was real heated and on edge at that time. But I don't remember what the edge was that I was on. The last specific homework I remember is we were supposed to come up with seven deadly fruit sins. Got them.

But I don't think we ever did. I think Andrew and I did, nobody else did. But I do vaguely remember what Eric's saying about leading with the mind table and you clearing stuff up. I just can't remember how that. Yeah, I was gonna do something. I think you were just gonna clear things up because the drawings that you gave us were the worst drawings in history.

So we made you redo the first one and the second one was somehow worse. Yeah, I think you were complaining that you didn't have enough time to properly do the mind table. Right. I think so. I think that's right. You've had it now. You've had a week. I have. But on Squinkles time, that means I'm only halfway to what I need to actually get it done. So I got plenty of stuff.

Laying on out there. That was that was pretty good. Did squinkles just become a unit of time? I think it's two weeks. I think a squiggle is a two week time period. Is it's squinkling like you procrastinate constantly? Then you just never deliver. I don't think procrastinate is the right word. I did the wrong homework.

I was so wrapped up because I brought up before we recorded the last episode, isn't there homework we're supposed to do? And then we were all like, I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't remember. And then at the end of last episode, Jeff said, oh, there's homework we're supposed to do. And then I panicked because I thought, Oh, fuck, you're right. There was. What was it? I didn't do it.

Shit. What was it? So then I prepared this episode for that homework. But now that we're here, I think there was other homework I was supposed to do from the previous episode. So I'm clearing up two episodes worth of homework or two episodes ago as homework. But I think I still have homework from last episode. All right. Hit us with it. I'm the only one fruit sins, apparently. I thought Jeff would have it because he did drop. I have my seven deadly fruit sins.

Yeah, you have your fruit sins. He already said he had his fruit sins. Shall we go through our fruits in? Well, first, did you do a fruit demon? Well, I'm not an artist. Well, that has never stopped us before. I designed the idea of the fruit demon. I feel like that's enough.

I drew up a fruit demon. I have my fruit demon and my fruit sins. We're going to put in my fruit demon and then I'm going to post a minute. Do you guys see the insanely good fan art fruit demon? I mean, there's been some great fruit demons, but the one that looked like it was from like a devil, like a book, like a Satanist novel. I want to see a novel.

Please let me. I saw the best one I've seen so far is the one who had bananas as horns Which is the funniest idea on earth to me? Interest right this is uh Let me find out who wrote it or who made this because it's it's fantastic art while you're doing that Am I crazy or did I see a screenshot of? Of an X or Twitter where the fuck you call it, where Granny Smith Apples shouted out the fruit demon?

Did anybody else see that? No, I should have saved it when I saw it. It was in a thread somewhere. Wait, you saw Granny Smith shout out the fruit demon and you didn't buzz it? I know. Well, that's not a real account. It's just somebody made it's a fan. It has like two followers, I think. I see. So he knew it.

I didn't know it. I just I think I've seen that Granny Smith account before. And Apple Day keeps the scurvy demon away. Someone made that in our community. Oh, he's got like a fruit kebab tail. Got the nose scrumping on the grounds like a like one of those old like line cut or like woodcut drawings. Yeah, that's great. I'm great press by that. I looked at that I went like oh, that's funny somebody pulled something like someone had a reference point to that and then realizing no

So I just drew that that's really impressive There's two with the oh and Eric just shared one by someone named Lindor. Yeah, this is oh, I love his stupid little cat face He's got like his funny little teeth, but he's got the like the Regulation asterix on his forehead, but then also has Jeff's banana With the strawberry on the end in his hand. I think it's so good Little red rocket fruit. I believe the the one I post was from someone named Tristan T. Zaris. These are great Let me show you my fruit demon. I thought we'd all have fruit demons, but that's OK. I'll show up with mine.

I can quickly find my fruit demon. Yeah, you figure out your fruit demon. I'll post mine. My fruit demon. His name is Vitamin D for death and demon. Here we go. This is my fruit demon. So it is for people that are just listening. He has strawberry legs and the stems go up into a body of like a coconut. And then he's got orange slices for hands.

And it's very drippy. He drips everywhere. Everywhere he goes, he's leaving a little juice. Then he's got a banana head and two cherry eyes. And really difficult to do something small, but it was supposed to be like a grapefruit mouth and it's going to get you. So now that's a what kind of body is that again? It looks like a pear, but you said it was pear, coconut, whatever you want.

I'm not any greenish kind of fruit thing. I honestly don't remember what I was initially going for, but it doesn't look like whatever it was. So whatever you interpret it as is the correct answer for the body. I really like how the cherry stems are also the eyebrows. I thought that I think that's very clever. Creative vision. You could tell it looks like somebody has spilled a thing of Welch's juice and you know, he's there. You know, he killed somebody.

See the crime, a citrus death. You're like the floor is sticky. He's been here. You hear you hear the blop blop blop walks around. And what do you do to summon him? It could be any of these sins. I have my sins.

I'll read mine and then Jeff, do you want to read yours? Yeah, sure. We'll see if you have any any crossover. I'm sure you do. The first sin, poison mixing alcohol in the juice. It's a juice sin. OK. Number two, excess blending too many fruits at once. Too large of a variety. Don't like it.

Number three, negligence, letting your fruit ripen and then rot and just not using it at all. Number four, ignorance, ignoring lemonade stands. You have to use them. You have to utilize. What are you doing? It's high ignorance. Yeah. Yeah. Being ignorant. Go to that stand. Squander, not composting. You got to use the, you got to reuse the fruit to make more fruit. It's a cycle.

If you, if you're, if you're not allowed to let your fruit rot, cause it's a sin, how are you ever going to? Well, you eat the, you eat the apple and there's a core, you fuck. There's leftover fruit sometimes and fruit. You don't eat all of the fruit always. There's a peel, you dunce. Next question, not a question, it's a sin. Erasure, you can edit out my flub, Nick. Removing any fruit trees. And lastly, but not least, the file.

To peel without taste Peeling a fruit and then just leaving it out not eating it wasting it And those are the seven sins poison excess negligence ignorant squander erasure and defile That's really that's wild dude. We didn't cross over at all. Hell yeah! We had slightly different takes. You went with the more, I guess, religious interpretation with the single sin word. I went with just actions. Oh, I like it. Don't have a catchy phrase.

But here are my seven deadly fruit sins. The first deadly fruit sin, not washing a fruit before you eat a fruit before you eat it. It's got dirt on it It's got pesticides. Oh good wash your fucking fruit the second deadly skin You think it'd be the first but it's not because I didn't write it down for scrumping. Don't steal. We don't scrum fruit third sign Deadly sin eating unripe fruit. It's not ready for you green banana You're taking you're stealing its thunder away, and it only gets In eating unripe fruit, it's not ready for you. Green banana. You're taking or stealing its thunder away.

And it only gets think about it this way. Fruit only gets one shot at being ripe. Wow. Don't take it away from the fruit. Number four. And I've seen this done a lot. I don't like it. It creeps me out.

It's unnecessary. It's stupid. And it kind of goes with number five. Don't peel a grape. You don't peel grapes before you eat them. It's unnecessary. It's stupid. And it kind of goes with number five. Don't peel a grape. You don't peel grapes when you eat them. That's ridiculous. It makes like little brainy eyeballs. Nobody wants to eat that. No. Number five, do peel a banana. That's right. It is a deadly sin to eat a banana without peeling it first. You will not enjoy bananas that way. So don't do it. Number six, if everybody doesn't know this, you should.

Citrus does not go in the fridge. Leave it out. Oh, interesting. So citrus citrus got to stay out. Leave it on the side. You have to put your oranges in the fridge. Yeah. And number seven, the seventh deadliest sin. Cranberry is only a garnish. Yeah. Do not eat it as a main course.

Oh, yeah. No, I definitely learned that. 100 percent. Yeah. Do not eat it as a main course. Oh, yeah. No, I definitely agree with that. One hundred percent. Yeah. Those are great, Jeff. There you go. Those are my seven deadly fruits. I was fit. OK, now, Gavin, it's your turn. Your sense. Well, I was I was finding it weird that the sin about storing citrus in the fridge. Yeah, I was saying I agree with it.

But the juice from all the citrus has to go in the fridge. That is true. Yeah, but we're not doing these aren't juice sins. No, these are fruit sins. I don't only fruit sins. Do you want to see my fruit demon? I would love to see a fruit demon. Bam.

So it's a screenshot of a sledgehammer. It's Pierre Gabriel being surrounded by the stop motion fruit from the sledgehammer music video. Legendary music video. Haven't seen it. Absolutely. Maybe one of the best of all time. It's definitely up there. Like he like he like becomes a roller coaster. He's on a roller coaster.

That's a good part. The roller coaster kind of drives the train drives around his face for a bit, isn't it? Right. Yeah. There's also a good bit where his hands of his fists become sledgehammers and he punches himself in the face. So Peter Gabriel is the fruit demon. In my opinion, he is and always has been the fruit demon. Saying saying stuff like, open up your fruit cage.

Look, it's suggestive. Is that what Peter Gabriel looks like? Not anymore. Not anymore. That's what he used to look like. Yeah, I assume. I just am realizing I've never seen Peter Gabriel. He's strictly a name I've heard.

Oh, he was, I think, pretty dreamy looking dude back in the day. Certainly together. I think he dreamy looking dude back in the day certainly together Think it was fine looking Now he looks now. He just looks pissed off all the time He looks he's holding the mic out accusatorily in that photo that I just sent like he's like you did this man He looks like Billy Joel. He looks like a falconer open up your what? What what I thought Gavin I thought it was funny That's how it used to look yeah, he's all right. Yeah, yeah

Dreamy is according to Gavin. Yeah He's British dreamy. Do you think it's a different kind of dreamy? Well 100% Oh, absolutely absolutely Softer softer dreamy is British dreamy. Different features. A lot of people in the audience based on last week's episode thought that with with my ball knuckling idea that I thought piss was stored in the balls. And I just want to let everyone know that I know it's not stored in the book. I think everyone knows it's not stored in the balls because the amount of piss that

comes out is maybe five to six times the volume of my balls. Very obvious, but I have drawn diagram. Just letting everyone know, I mean to knuckle right here and you see the, the, the urinary tract kind of curves down a little bit of a drip loop going on you just want to knuckle that bit that fold bit And it just pushes out some extra drips, so just get in there is that your duty right there Well, it looks like a big brown long Huge log right next to the ball dude Right next to your balls, dude. God, did you add the sea pepper?

I may have added a label. I didn't expect you to notice that. I'll be honest with you. What I what I appreciate about this is it started with Gavin addressing the fact that people thought he didn't know anything about how this works. And Gavin is really arguing that he knows way more than everybody else does. And here is an anatomic image to display how it would function within how the body actually works.

Well, I know that it works based on doing it. So I looked up the image of what the piss the piss tube goes. And I was like, oh, it makes sense that it works because the piss tube. You you knuckle your balls. No, no no I'm you just said I know it works cuz I've done it well I mean I've prodded that area what does that mean I've not used my knuckles to do it but I have like but why not your knuckles it says knuckle here, the angles are all wrong for a knuckle.

These three ninjas are about to knuckle up on Gaff. Why are they knuckling up with their shoes? I don't know. You're talking about knuckling up and then saying you haven't done it or whatever, man. You've done it, but you haven't done it? You've done it, but you haven't done it. No, no, I've like I've put pressure there to see if it gets some drips out and it does. But I've not used my knuckle because I don't think I can get my whole fist down back there. What if we invent some sort of a plastic handheld knuckle

that a guy can use in an event like this? I don't want to. Like a little back scratcher, but for ball up knuckling, like maybe hooked around. Yeah, like a hooked around back scratcher. That's a knuckle or like a tube knuckle or I Just I feel like Gavin suggested this in a way that was very hypothetical last week And now it sounds like he's been doing this for years I know I've got really not been doing it for years

I just like sometimes you want to move the balls around a little bit to get the drips out and I'm saying it because it's Putting up the balls where the peas not stored The balls where the peas are not stored. Yeah, and the piss you can also shake your penis Which is also where the pee isn't stored, but it still gets drips out. You don't have to Yeah, I Don't think I've ever peed and thought I got to move the balls around I I'm surprised that I really like the way he said it. I kind of want to say So Andrew you've met you've pissed right and then you yeah, I have pull your You don't ever give the whole package a little shake just you believe this today I did it today sorry continue

So you finished pissing that you know the last strips come out and then what? You just pull up your boxes? I mean, I might do like shake, but I'm not fucking knuckling underneath my body. And because you don't have the patented regulation tube knuckler. And here's the thing. It's like breathing. I don't necessarily think about the shake. I've never went like, oh, man, I got to do something with the balls. The balls are like you're putting more thought into the P

Than I ever have it's all connected. Hey Gav. Yeah, it's useless to explain this to him because he's too young to have experienced Yeah, he'll get there and then he'll have his his like light bulb moment and he'll go. Oh fuck now I know piss kung fu I get what they were talking about. Well, I mean, Eric's becoming a bit of an old codger. What about you, Eric? Do you have a moose stuff around and they get the last trips out? Yeah, I mean, you got you got to like squeeze a little bit, but I just kind of like do that internally and I feel fine. I just don't when you talk about like grabbing your balls and shake them around to get piss out. I like I think I know what you're saying, but the way you're sort of like lodging this is so bizarre

I'm not jingling it around like a purse of coins I'm you're talking about do you just you the other thing you said was shake your penis So I just don't like the whole thing you're talking about is like I don't know and then you like want to speedbag it I don't I just don't understand any of this man. I just am now visualizing Gavin with his long arm, I'm assuming you have long arms in my head. Fucking crouched like King Louie.

I would do. Crouched like King Louie, just knuckling your balls. Look, look, it's very hard for me to explain what I do without showing you my penis and testicles. But what I'm doing is I'm just, I'm really just shaking the old cock a little bit and then maybe lifting the balls, getting a finger behind the balls and just lifting up and then some extra drips come out. I, yeah, once I get it. I think I understand.

And you just keep explaining it. It's the finger around the balls. That's crazy. There might be the middle finger just as the balls are getting pushed, the middle fingers maybe just going behind the balls and pushing. And then I thoroughly wash my hands. You hold the balls like you're displaying and find necklace like in a movie when they're selling jewelry and there's like the palm and

extend it out So sorry Gavin I'm so on board of the right you're doing a terrible job of explaining it, but if you're 100% right That bottom line is the older you get the longer and harder it is to get the pee out of you Yeah, and it only gets more complicated with every year And I feel like I could keep flexing and squeezing internally like Eric, but it's just so much slower, okay That's a hundred percent our thumbnail, thank you This is how he does it this is Gavin reaching around Are you seated when you're doing this? Are you standing? Well, either way either way, but usually I'll be seated

No, I don't sit on those but The whole point is I don't have a long enough I don't have a King Louie enough arm to actually get an entire fist back there That's not what Andrew said. Yeah, that's what I'm picturing The King Louie thing is so funny to me That's what I'm seeing it's like King Louie and and the the type of animal he is how do you spell that? O R A N G U T A N Ian is like King Louis and and the type of animal he is. How do you spell that? O R A N G U T A N.

Right. Is that right? Or there's there G that's silent. You think O R A N G U T A N. What do you. What do you what? A ring of tan, a ring of Tang, a ring of tan. N. What do you? What do you? What? Orangutan, orangutan, orangutan, orangutan. It's how you spell it. Orangutan, orangutan. You fucked me up now. It's orangutan, right? It is orangutan. Yeah.

When you said I thought it was orangutan, it was an old episode thing. I spent my whole life thinking it was orangutan. And you said that and it like it like I could feel like my brain like splitting in half You will hear orangutan in the wild there are plenty of people that think it's orangutan I'm not alone when I thought that and then it blew my mind when I heard orangutan. We've covered this This is old face material. We've been through this It's old news, but I just I can't You crouched or like hunched over

massaging your balls for the P to come out. Why am I hunched over? I don't know. It's so your long arms can reach. I'm going down the front. I don't need to hunch. Whoa. Well, that becomes dangerous because your arm becomes in the path potentially No, and also I wash my hands after

No, he doesn't get pee on him Nick he gets ball he gets balls in him Insane I did occasionally when I had the like before this was so much of a problem I did have the toilet the automatic toilet where it flushes for you and I would just try and not use my hands at any point what hang on what you would go in he'd make a game of it it's great you would open up and then you would just like I feel like I've said I've said too much this episode I've told no no no no continue if okay if anything you haven't said enough So so my argument with that I used to have with Meg is was like surely

I don't need to wash my hands if this is how I pee right and I'd go in the bog Pull down the old shorts and undies from the side pull down the old shorts and undies from the side, box seat opens, I sort of squat, I do a little piss, I shake it around, get all the, get all those drips off, and then I pull it all up, the bog flushes itself and closes the lid. Do I need to wash my hands? You touched the lock? Jeff just gave us, Jeff just gave us the thumbnail in the middle of the episode.

This King Louie, he's pointing at his mouth, he's pointing at his tummy, and he's got his big hand going behind him. You know this guy doesn't wash his hands after he pisses. Check him out. Oh no. You don't lock the door? That's Gavin celebrating after a clean pee.

He's like, I did it. Flawless. He's just pointing at his binoculars, really. That's Gavin exposing himself to Meg, saying, look at me. I'm spotless, clean. But what I realized I was doing is I was washing my hands for no reason. And then I was just like, I don't need to be doing this. I feel like this is insane discourse from somebody who has given me shit for eating in the bathroom when I haven't used the bathroom. You put you put a bowl of muffin on the toilet seat.

No no no no no no on top of the lid you mean I'm sitting on it? You're sitting. I'm not sitting on a muffin. No. You think that you can literally use the bathroom flush and then walk out without washing your hands. I think that's way worse than me. I didn't touch anything. I could have put my hands in my pocket the whole time. I mean, if my trousers were were down I would need long arms

The water's moving around the seas are shifting particles are flying everywhere So why am I not washing my back and my neck every time I go to the toilet? That's a good question It's a good question probably should Probably should my point is is you're shooting particles everywhere. I'm not doing anything I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything. You're eating. You're laying down the whole time in a separate bowl.

You put your headphones on the butt crumb zone. Yeah, I did do that. Yeah, that's disgusting. And that's going right by your face and in your ears. You got poo here. Well, you got fucking ball hands. What do you mean? That's disgusting and that's going right by your face and in your ears. You got poo here Well, you got fucking ball hands. What do you mean? I Can wash my ears dummy you put your headphones in the shower. There's a shower

There's so easily washable I do it all the time washable I do it all the time I say that lovingly call you dummy lovingly because I'm equally dumb in this but you're being ridiculous I wash my hands like I don't wash my face what are you saying you're you use the headphones outside of the toilet outside of the bath as well you get clean and then you put your hands outside as well what do you mean I washed them I've washed my ears talking about the headphones! You don't wash your headphones after you've got out of the bath! But I wash my head every day! It doesn't... ... ...

Sorry, I can't come into the room when I gotta wash my head. ... You have a nice wash. I'm not using the same headphones. You've thrown out a dummy today, and earlier you threw out a stupid. I did, yeah. Well, you've earlier you threw out a stupid. I did. Yeah. Well, you've had a really dumb day, which I relate. So I need to like really put the spotlight on whenever anyone has one of those,

because it's too late. You didn't call me stupid. Oh, wait, was that aimed at me? I think it was because it had to have been. It doesn't matter where you you've kind of been the dumb one every time today. Oh, yeah. yeah, yeah. Oh man. So what else is new?

I, uh... That's how we ended that? That's awesome. I don't even remember what that was in the... I don't even remember how that started. What were you guys arguing about? Well, to summarize though, do I need to wash my hands if that's how I pissed? Probably.

I mean, based on your general code of ethics, yes. Yeah. Yeah. I just think it's crazy. It's like, what you're talking about is like, you're like a step away from like how a dog piss is. I could- You're doing like a bathroom dog piss, dude.

What if I put a GoPro on my chest, filming forwards, and I constantly film my hands the entire time, and I show you the entire process. Hey, man. No, thank you Hey, what if I put a big wide-angle lens on my head and then point it down towards my dick? You guys want to see that? It's my chest how can I look down with my chest? I don't want to see any of it Yeah, I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it Nick once Nick can't wait Nick wants to see your hand Your hands don't touch anything. They don't flush. They don't take your pants down. They don't want to see it. Nick wants Nick can't wait. Nick wants to see your hands. Don't touch anything. They don't flush

They don't take your pants down. They don't touch the lid. They touch It's like the pockets area of my shorts and I sort of grabbed through to get the boxes down, too But it's the particles man. The particles get you he's got you there. Okay. So what if I keep my hands in the hoodie? pouch I Mean once they like I feel like you're just doing so much work to just not wash your hands. If you're able to I'll say this, if you're able to walk into a bathroom with your hands in your hoodie pouch, just disrobe to the degree that you can pee, pee.

Rerobe, flush and then leave the room without those hands ever leading your leaving your hoodie pocket. I think you're fine That's that's what we're talking about. We're talking about it is the slide He said if he can figure it out he can figure it out if your hands don't leave that hoodie pocket You're fine. I will say what you're I feel like undervaluing is That it is just a nice practice to wash your hands because you're doing other stuff Yeah, there's an implication that your hands aren't dirty from other things you've done So even if it is a clean bathroom run, it just is a good excuse to wash your hands

Yeah, I mean I wash my hands probably ten times a day I mean most the time I wash my hands before I go to the bathroom because I don't want to touch my dick with dirty hands You got such a clean dick. You don't get it day. I don't want him to get it dirty Do it's fucking hiding all nice and clean on my underwear every day my dick gets treated like a fucking king it wakes up It gets a shower every day then it gets taken to go pee pee and then it does that and then it gets brand new Clean clothes that are fresh put on it And then it gets left alone all day long unless I need to take it out to whiz every once in a while

Why do I want to incorporate dirt and grime into that situation? You spend so much time keeping it clean and fresh We can't do this, but I remember in kindergarten when they taught us how to wash our hands properly they did a thing where they put like some sort of They did a thing where they put like some sort of like dye or substance on our hands. And then we had to wash our hands with soap and they could tell if we missed a spot by like using like a purple light. If there were specs, I only doing a Jeff Dicks back in inspection of cleanest.

Think this is so funny. I'm into it. Let's do it. I think this is so funny. I'm into it. Let's do it. Oh, sorry. You're going to say something, Gavin. I apologize. Oh, I'm sure it was worthless. We got to get out of Dick. I had a thing happen that filled me with so much joy.

Maybe one of my favorite coincidences of all time. Happen recently. I don't know part of this was in a recording. I was trying to talk to Nick about it yesterday, and we couldn't remember if it was between something or if it was said somewhere. So maybe it was captured. But we recently discovered Jeff has a new word that he hates. Word that he despises.

Oh, not a fan of a very specific word, which is collab. Jeff hates collab. I hate that word really. Just like collab. And it's been coming up a lot recently. You know, we talk about the rooster teeth coming back or whatever and Jeff we've determined hates collab in a way that I don't necessarily understand, but you hate it and that's fine

I don't need to you hate it. Yeah, she just hate abbreviations I I don't like abbreviation for abbreviation sake like I also don't like Collab is right up there with me for Zah. I don't like, collab is right up there with me for za. I don't like when some, just say pizza. Like was it that hard? Was the other syllable that fucking hard to get out? Are you in such a goddamn food hurry you can't say the first part? No, you're not. Just say pizza, not za.

I don't have to, I have to do the fucking mental gymnastics to stop for a second. Wait a minute, this person said something incorrect and stupid Let me slow down my brain to go backwards To figure out what that's this dumbass is trying to convey because they can't use complex fucking word that the five letter words properly So this is a whole other layer of hate that we didn't buy. By the same token, I don't like the word collab. Oh, hey, we should collab together. Hey, what's up, buddy? You want to collab with me? I play video games. You play video games.

Let's collab. How about, hey, do you want to make some content together? Would you like to make a video with me? Do you ever want to do a let's play? We could do that. Would you like to collaborate on a project? Not like finger guns out. Hey, you want to? Be internet, right? Woo, Web 2.0, suck my dick. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Nice and clean. You were, it was, I mean that is like an annoyance that you have with unnecessary abbreviation. At the time, it just seemed like you were annoyed at even the definition of the word and how it was being used. You're like, collab, what does that even mean,ab. I worked for fucking 20 years with these people. Clab. You don't have to say that to me. Hey, man, you want to collab?

It's like, who do you think I am? Of course we make content together all God damn well. Just say, hey, do you want to make some fucking content together? You don't have to buzzword me. We know each other. I feel like everything involving collabs in general is really annoying. Like you get all those emails where it's like this X that. Why is it an X though? Because that's even cooler to even cooler way to say collab. But surely it should be a plus.

Like you're not multiplying my thing by your thing. You're adding them together. Does it mean why is it the X? I don't know. It is a great question. But it should be a fucking divide. It should be a division symbol because what you're doing is you're making your content half as good And their content has good One shouldn't be a minus even better oh

Well Bernie but Back has the podcast come morning somewhere and they did a Q&A talking about the Rooster Teeth stuff. And in that Q&A, they addressed the questions of like working with people that were previously associated with the company. I have a clip relating to that that I'm going to play. Oh, OK. Maybe not so easy, is it?

Got him. So if you do talk to people, I can't control what anyone does, but if you do talk to people, I would appreciate personally if you would use the word collaborate instead of go back. Go back is, I think, kind of ins... I have never laughed harder at something that was so innocent. Like he was trying to frame that in a way that is so caring for the people related to it. And I just went, everyone's going to ask Jeff if he's going to collab. They're all going to use collab.

This is the greatest thing that's happened all year. He didn't even, he didn't know that wasn't a planned attack. He was trying to be sweet and you fucking hate collab It's the worst thing it's the worst thing anyone could say to you And he said if you could do it for me personally it's so good. Oh my god. Oh I haven't texted Bernie in months, and I texted and said hey, can I clip? Can I clip? Regulation something happened. Oh collab Jeff are you do you have any plans to collab?

It's such a currently no, I'm not I'm not doing any collabs at the moment. I'm still, you know, I'm accepting collab pitches from people that are interested in collabing with me in the future at some point. But I don't currently have any collabs on the books. Now, a very sweet gesture from Bernie and a really thoughtful thing to do and say. Just used a dog shit word to do it That's okay, not everybody's perfect right no absolutely not I think we got a fucking guy on your show that knuckles his balls every time he Knuckled

Knuckled it For him I want someone to speed back my balls. So I get all the piss out What's the problem? It's just a gentle push. I Really like this by the way of the of the mind table where I guess Eric's label vanished Eric's got a speech bubble that says idiot, but because his label's got it, it just looks like he's labeled an idiot.

I replied to them and I just said, hey, what the fuck? And that was drawn by Sabrina, I think. Yeah, she did a great draw. I actually, I love this art style. I think this is like such a cool look. And then to have my label gone and it just says idiot It's like what the hey, what the fuck is this shit? I Love that the Andrews in the TV with the mic on our end and I love that you can see Nick through the monkey helmet

So the head of the table, it's wherever the host sits. Okay So the head of the table it's wherever the host sits okay I'm just confirming the head of the tables wherever the house. That's what we learned right? Yeah, let me ask you guys a question mm-hmm Let's say you go get a you go get a hamburger and french fries somewhere for lunch with some friends, okay? Okay onions no onions In consequential to this Scenario, but we do I assume we going to go do the onions thing later today, but I assume that pushes to next week, probably when we do the other thing.

Yeah. OK. You had a squeezy bottle of ketchup. The the the the the hamburger tray is full. It's full of fries and then a hamburger. There's no free space. So you just what do you do with your ketchup if you want to put ketchup on the fries? Oh, about a corner. And it depends.

There's a lot of situations I've been in where I don't have the ketchup real estate for it. Do you have those? There's no there is no ketchup real estate. And so I'm saying we're after make it. Yeah, I've done a thing where I've had. Sometimes the lid, I'll take the lid off of a thing and then I'll shoot it into the top of the lid and I'll use that. That was no lid. No lid.

No, it's not available. OK, I have a second. You know how like if you get chicken strips and fries, you get two different boxes. Here's what you can do. OK. You could put a napkin on the table and load that up with ketchup if you want. That's the only other option you have outside of the bag. OK, the current vessel. OK.

And what am I eating, sir? Just a burger and fries, burger and fries. Honestly. I'm probably shooting it in the corner. If I'm not going to do that and hear me out, because this is going to what's on my burger? Cheese, onion. Onions. Yeah, for sure. On your goal and tomato. If I'm like if it's a situation where I think well, let us as well,

because I don't want to drown any of the fries in ketchup, but I do want ketchup in the mix. I might disassemble my burger and use the lower bun as a dippable surface. Well, you're a maniac. You need the bun. It's the foundation. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm not getting rid of it, hear me out. Deassemble, right? Put the burger to the side. Use the lower bun. Pour ketchup on the lower bun on top of it Dip the fries into the bun and then when I'm done with that Reassemble the burger, but then you can't eat any burger while you're eating fries You want what if you want to go back and forth and your hamburger your hamburgers cold now?

You took the roof off of it let all I know typically in my one and then the other guy Oh psychopath I I typically am a one and then the other guy. Oh, psychopath. Yeah, I'm lunatic. I want each bite to be as uniform as possible. I want as much stuff all at once. Oh, that's also lunatic. I feel like I watched a clip once 15 years ago that you should eat the meat last from a digestive purpose. So I typically will eat all of the vegetables

before I touch the protein on my plate. But surely if your stomach is digesting all the veg, then the meat is just sat on it. You would think and that could be right, but it is a code that I've lived by for over a decade because I feel like I've heard that once. Yeah, there you go. Could easily be wrong. I'm not arguing that this is definitely right.

I took a picture of what Jeff did. You want to see it? Please. I don't think what I did was a big deal at all. Let's see. OK, I just poured some. I just poured ketchup on some of the fries. Totally fine. Totally. And then I just I just used that as the kid. I just dipped the fries into the ketchup.

And then, yeah, it ruins a couple of the fries, but I wasn wasn't gonna eat all the fries anyway, so what the fuck does that matter? If you do not plan on eating all the fries totally except he lost his fucking mind for some reason I thought you were a lunatic and I'll tell you why that's fine Yeah, you got a fork because you can still eat those normally But you easily could have eaten Four or maybe five or six fries eat in a little hole for your ketchup but you just went straight on top and I thought that was the limit who cares man is that is that it's not even

a burger I realize it's not even a burger that's a I forgot I had a BLT that throw my idea out I'm not doing that with a BLT yeah you would never do that with a BLT man a billion years I do feel like you could have moved the BLT though the rest on the other corner of fries Well, that's after half of its gone the other you know this is laid into the meal I've already eaten most of the BLT at that point okay Yeah, of course man. It's a BLT. They're always cutting That'd be wild having a restaurant that just doesn't cut any of its sandwich.

Also we're looking at half of it. Like the idea that you ate it half from that way. That you chose to eat it that way. And then face it away from me so everybody can see my bite marks. Hehehehehe. Anyway, Gavin was disturbed by this, but I didn't even realize that that was a controversial thing to do. I would be unfazed by it't I didn't even realize that was a controversial thing to do. Yeah I would be unfazed by it. I wouldn't even notice

Well, I feel like Jason and Nichols thought it was a bit weird. I think they were having fun with you But I don't know what did they I was gonna say now What does that mean? What did they say? Because I want to know what they said and how they said it I don't remember What really all I did was just lean over and take a photo of that and Jeff saw me take a photo. It was like hey What are you what's wrong with this? And he just really really fired up. But really I was just lean over and take a photo of that, and Jeff saw me take a photo. It was like, hey, what's wrong with this? And he just really, really fired up. But really, I was just... Oh, am I on edge around you because of, I don't know,

the history of our friendship and relationship together? Crazy. Crazy when I see you nonchalantly smirk to yourself, then pull your phone out and try to take a photo of something of mine without me noticing it yeah that Is my spider sense tingles a bit. I just think ketchup is so gross on on fingers I Hate getting it on me and you just ask him for it with the guy that's fingering his balls My balls don't leave it like a sticky residue. Hey what the put his knuckle up his dick too, but he doesn't want to touch wet tomato.

Are you asking what would I rather have on my hand? My ball or ketchup? I'd rather have my ball. Ketchup. Yeah, I know. We know how you feel, Gavin. You don't wash your hands. It's fine. I don't get a sticky residue from my own balls. What are you doing? You're doing something wrong then. I walked into that. Well you would have just eaten some fries, is that what you're saying? You would have made a space, you would have burrowed. Yeah, I would have just eaten a hole or like made a little mound. I'm always going to put ketchup on something, but not the food. I have a dumb question that you just made me think of that I saved for the show.

These are things that I know are dumb and I just want to ask here, because I just had never considered them. Do beavers eat wood or do they just gnaw on? Like, do they actually eat wood like what? I don't know what beavers eat. I assume that they eat wood, but I don't. I think I'm the other beavers. I think they're I think they're cannibalistic. Really? Yeah, I think so.

There's no way they're killed. Oh, my God. Well, it's even if they are. This doesn't mean another beaver is its diet. There's nothing surely only Like oh it says they don't eat each other maybe they don't then You're spreading beaver lies on this podcast I like also that you didn't Google what the beavers eat you just googled do beavers eat beavers I saw a clip of a beaver gnawing down a tree and I thought do they actually eat it or are they cucking their mouth? Like I was talking about before. I'm sorry. Are they what?

They're cussing their stomach a stomach cock or they're biting into it and not eating it So you think a beaver mouth cucks its stomach? Yeah, what you think chewing gum is Well, that was we talked about that. That was a joke from Beaver mouth cucks his stomach. Yeah. What you think chewing gum is? Well, that was we talked about that. That was a joke from what would show Jeff. What was the Kimmy Schmidt season three? Gum is a lie. Your mouth tells your stomach. But I said recently we're talking about taste buds on the fingers that I wouldn't like it because I'd feel like I was cucking my stomach

because I was just tasting everything and not eating and that's what I meant by that. I was wondering if a beaver was a stomach cuck, but I said mouth. Can we collab with a gum company and just make a gum called cuck? Like the regulation gum? Does this taste like somebody else's dick? You think my mom knows what cuck is? Oh my god! Dude, this episode is insane. I'm down to like a 6. Oh, my God. Do this episode is insane.

This I'm down to like a six point two. This is insane. She's going to listen to this. And we had the whole butt plug thing. I don't know. I would be. I don't think my mom knows what cucking is. That sounds like you need to find out. I'll find out in a few weeks.

Does she is she good at nature? Is she good at nature? Does she know about animals? She's a fucking Pokemon. Like, what do you mean? No, she's fire based. Does she care about animals? She cares about the planet.

Does she recycle? Yes, she recycles like I don't. So maybe she would know about like cuckoos and all that. About cuckoos from Zelda? No, the freaking isn't it coming from where they uh the cuckoo bird like puts one of its eggs in the other man's coming with the word origin of cuck yeah i mean that's he's going to the origin that's what those birds do i don't know if that's where the word came from or if it's something that you made up. Makes sense. I also don't know anything about the birds. I'm definitely not going to Google it if that helps.

The birds like the birds will lay an egg in a different bird's nest and they'll replace one of its eggs with their own egg and then it gets another bird to raise its young. Yeah, I feel like that was an episode of The Simpsons. Andrew mentioning the food cooking reminds me, I wanted to tell you guys, I did buy tongue sleeves for us. You have tongue sleeves? Did you really? I don't have them yet.

I had they're going to it's they're going to be a while. But I did some research and I Googled around and I found what I think are the best option for tongue sleeve, but we're not going to have them for a while. Nick copied and pasted the definition for for cuckold. And Shelby has to look at this later. And I don't wish this on anyone. This is terrible. It's just like, here's the thing.

You copied and pasted it next to Jeff with a BLT. What are these related? Someone ate a sandwich. God damn. What are these related? Yeah, so if you just text your mom what is cut do you think that via 5.4 Okay, try if you want. I don't want to come for me. Actually you are the one suggesting it. That's well you What do you I don't understand what you just said. You want me to send this text or no?

No, I wanted you to I wanted to know what you were going to text her to ask her. I wasn't going to text her anything. I was going to let her listen to the show and then. Oh, but do you want me to text? I don't care. I will. I have my phone. Why? You sound very angry. Does she have a.

He's being ridiculous. Come take it down a notch? Yeah, you're right. I need to. I mean, crazy. I mean, insane. I'm still processing the way he asked if my mom knew about birds was by saying that she liked nature. I'm sorry. I'm hung up on previous things. That's you know what? That's what would you like me to do, Gavin?

I do whatever you want. I don't want to get involved You want to ask her today if you want to just let her listen to it I'm fascinated though. I wonder what she was phrasing. What was the phrasing you just gave don't ever use my phrasing for anything Yeah, do you know about nature? Is she good at nature is what Gavin asked hey mom what's up, are you good at nature? Like if I were playing Jeopardy and the category was good at nature, I wouldn't expect five questions about birds What do you think of what do you think of nature?

grass I think a poison ivy is dumb as that is If you're good at nature you're here you're like controlling weeds What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say nature Gavin To be honest, it's like the trivial pursuit like science Frog and a leaf okay, how about you Eric? Trees forests like a creek like that's it Nick Creek definitely trees Yeah, I think of one tree like an oak tree. Yeah, oh can I actually change my answer? I think of like a hot wife, and it's just a guy sitting in the corner watching Hey, uh what do you guys know about rare fruit?

This is the craziest, this episode is nuts. I'm imagining somebody looking through their window and be like, yeah plant that tree. Yeah, you put that bullshit in. It's not, it's surely not cuck if you're like just perving from a distance. You gotta be there on a chair like watching them. If you hire landscapers are you cucking you on? You hire landscapers and then pull like your recliner out to the front yard and watch Always planting a rare bush. Oh

So Jeff tell us about rare fruit. I was just thinking we should get into rare fruit. Oh, like what, Jeff? Like, look at that. That's so cool. What is that? That's that's called a hollow fruit. And it supposedly it tastes like sugar cane. I saw it on Reddit the other day and they got me thinking, I've never heard about that.

And 49 years of living and I've done some serious living. I've never heard of a Hall of Fruit. I've never seen anything that looks like a planet explode before that tastes like sugar. I want some of that immediately. And then that got me thinking, there's a lot about fruit we don't know. There's a lot of rare boutique fruits out there we may not be familiar with. We're all caught up in hot dogs. But maybe there's some rare fruits that we might want to try to experience

I feel like I've seen James Bond diffuse that yeah, I was gonna say that fruit I feel like I would turn into one of those aliens from annihilation It looks like something that came out of the shimmer. It looks like course going up Which which bit do you eat of that hollow fruit? I want to find out because the top part looks like broccoli and then the inside looks like a Sort of like a jawbreaker. I guess yeah, it looks like yes a good leader that transitions to a carrot into a Into a jawbreaker. Yeah, it looks amazing, but did that got me thinking like there's a lot There's probably a lot of rare fruits out there

You know what I mean like not every not your old pedestrian everyday fruit fruits fruits that you and I you guys we don't even know exist out there There's fruits that we've never heard of that are delighting people that are in the know and we're not those people and I want To be those people Do you mean rare like there's not a lot of the plants or like that? You just don't see them in America. Yeah, both like there's not a lot of them I mean rare that I mean, that's the definition of rare but fits both of those Yeah, fruits that you don't that you don't have easy access to fruits it like like maybe someday We could even go on a journey to a fruit like maybe there's a fruit that only grows on a mountain somewhere

And we got to go to it to get to that fruit so that we can taste That little bit of joy that no one else on earth gets to taste. I want to be I want to be just like a fruit Explorer I want to be like Lewis and fruit Clark Have you ever had that stink Fruit what's it called the one that's durian fruit? Yeah, you ever tried that no I never have I'd love to I'd love you We should I want to expand my fruit horizons. I think we all should yeah And if Gavin wants to get off in some cuckish way doing it that's fine with me, too I think the phase one is just going to a grocery store and buying whatever fruit you haven't tried yet

That's a good. That's a good state. It's gonna be hard You got a cover your heart for me to go to a grocery store in America and find fruit I'm not familiar with, but I'm willing to give it a shot. I feel like I've probably tried most regular grocery store fruit, right? Oh, you know, you've never seen a durian just in your grocery store. You know, I probably have. I probably have. And I've probably seen like an ugly fruit. And there's probably a few out there.

We could go to like a Whole Foods. We could go to like maybe an Asian market. Oh, go to like Fiesta and see if there's some stuff. Go to Fiesta. I'm sure there's some stuff. Yeah, I bet we could assemble a group of fruits we've never. Maybe that'd be the next time we get together to do live action recording. Maybe we'll assemble a rare fruit tray. Maybe if we're all in Fiesta and we find a fruit that none of us have ever tried, then we have to get it and we just go around the fruits buying one of everything we've never tried.

I think it's a great idea. Yeah! I got a reply from my mom. Oh no! What did you ask her? Do you know what Cuck is? This is the reply. This sucks. Cuck is a weak or servile man.

Oh. Often used as a contemptuous term for a man with moderate or progressive political views. Oh. Did she Google this? That was my next text. Yep. Mm. Don't ever reply to that, but the answer is sex, no.

Not, not, I don't think she's aware of, I think it falls in that category. I think she's aware. Oh, wait, can also be used as being sexual unfaithful, I guess, I don't know. I think she's Googling cock is where we're at. You're making your mom Google cock. I think she's Googled it. Oh boy.

I think she misinterpreted, I think she thought I was asking her to give me the definition so she She's helping you out like yeah, she's helping I just don't I just I can't imagine that your mom says servile very often. No that that's how it tipped me I mean not many people that are good with nature do in my experience Christ oh man in my experience. Oh, man. You got more. I was gonna say, should we start wrapping this up? But boy, you got, there's more in the chamber. Holy shit.

Nah, we should probably wrap it up. Just one question though. Just one question. Okay. You guys remember a couple weeks ago, this is something that's been itching at my brain for a while. I've been meaning to get out to you guys. You remember a couple weeks ago we were talking about how Contra 3, I believe it was, was named Super Probiotic Anal War or whatever. Yeah, Super Pro Bitector the Alien Rebels. Super Pro Bitector the Alien War. Yeah.

Rebels super pro protector of the alien war. Yeah But it was contra everywhere else in the world Would it be funny if we changed our name in one territory in the world where we were called something else like in Yugoslavia? We're not the regulation podcast. We're super probiotic anal or whatever If you're a big fan of regulation podcast go to Azerbaijan where it's like tomb enforcer anarchy maximum where it's like apple farm comedy troupe yeah we have the ability to see do it because chart a pulled try double doesn't exist

anymore is there a do we have a version of chartable we have access to like within the numbers Nick do we have that like them are demographics other than YouTube because we can look at YouTube like we get our demographics from, do we have that like our demographics other than YouTube? Because we look at YouTube like we get our demographics from YouTube. And I guess that would be a thing. Yeah. How many how many people from Yugoslavia?

Well, that's the I was going to say there is a time where we were like number one in like Egypt and it was just clearly like according to Charitable, we're like the number two comedy thing. And it's like, oh, that's possible, though, because Egypt is a country. Yeah, I was going to say, why do we keep using Yugoslavia as a standpoint? It hasn't been a country since the 90s. Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? On near what I'm trying to get at is we should find if there is any

a place that is incredibly and I was going to say obscure, but I don't even know how you necessarily measure that a place where we're number one, which I assume is a territory that doesn't have a lot of anything that is being streamed. And that person should be able to rename whatever it is in that territory. We give them the right to the name. Hmm. I see what you're saying.

So we need to find the place and then we need to have that person verify that they are the person listening, putting us in the position, because I assume nobody's streaming. The only way we're number one in any region is if no one else is doing any downloading a podcast. Yeah. What this person? Yeah, we need to find out one person who listens to us on the Seychelles Islands or something. Hey Germany almost 3,000 downloads way to go boys. Oh

Pretty good, but it but is that one person downloading it 3,000 times probably probably not we got to get we have to get a little More granular I suppose we have a lot of places that have this one download really desh Faroe Islands, Nigeria You had Asia places that have just one download. Really? Bangladesh, Faroe Islands, Nigeria, Faroe Islands, Tunisia. We could go to Turks and Caicos. If you're in the Faroe Islands and you're listening to this, will you reach out? Yeah, if you live in, if you reside in the Faroe Islands or Turks and Caicos as a backup, please reach out to us and let us know.

We'd like to let you rename our podcast in your territory. Oh yeah, only where you are. Do you think that's what it is? Or is one guy just VPN hopping every week from a different place? Oh, interesting. Who the fuck VPNs from the Faroe Islands? They're never gonna find VPNs.

The Netflix library is crazy. Honestly, if you VPN to the Faroe Islands, you're easier to find period My mom just texted me. The first use of cuck was in 1611. Okay We gotta cut it off we got it we gotta wrap this up Hey, thanks for listening to another episode of the regulation podcast. This was episode 41 This is probably our 250th episode or so. Who can even fucking tell at this point?

Wow. Can you believe that the Gurpelers came out? Gurpeltyne's day was a huge, unmitigated success with zero issues or failures. And literally every single person on the planet earth that wanted a Gurpler got one as well as both signs. That was awesome. We can't wait to do that again, especially given how everyone was so happy. And we're just so happy that you spend another hour of your day listening to us fight about absolutely nothing.

And we hope you'll come back next week, kind of like a cuck, and listen to this podcast again. We'll see you. What? What?