F**kface - Overage Variance Clearance Granted // 7th Round Pick [155]

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about group COVID, back lengths, all back, 18% head, artist interpretation, nicknames, Geowizard, Sloppy Joes trivia, Conch Republic, Italian food, one of the family, pictures of Jesus, Cooridor Crew Jason Bourne video, season ticket resale, Gavin's slime, new vocabulary, rock not rock reactions, the coronation, and pastrami. The F**kface museum will be at RTX, will you? www.RTXAustin.com for details. Sponsored by ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/face and Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com and use code FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. I could see, like, a Bobcat being, like, a lanky guy that knows jiu-jitsu. Like, you might be surprised once you get into the fight. Like, it might be, like, holy shit, this is a problem that I did not anticipate. Where a cougar is more direct in their threat, I would say. Yeah, distinct, yeah, sure.

Bobcat, too small, right? Yeah, right? It's not intimidating. Like, that's a middle school fucking mascot, right? It fits the size of a seventh grader. Yeah, it is. Wow, the male bobcatcat 14 to 40 pounds female bobcat 8.8 to 34 that's nothing that's nothing henry was bigger than that that's what i'm saying like you could i could pick up and throw a bobcat like a football yeah you could eat a bobcat yeah eating a cougar

no the branding of the bobcat really was hurt by Bobcat Goldwaif as well. Like, I associate. There's nothing intimidating about that man, and that's the number one Bobcat association I have. Yeah. He should change his name to Robert Cat. He should. He could be Robert Cat Goldwaif.

But, guys, we're back after a long break. Last time, we talked about what is weather, and there's money in the leaf game was the title uh we talked about uh flintstoning it we talked about uh we saw stewart the bumbling customer footage um jeff had waking thoughts there's a hot dog issue of the face museum uh icy hot while needing to pee deodorant uh cookbooks accidental murder in a 22 but that was all the previous episode uh this is 155 i got some more stuff too i got some stuff to clean up can i just say before this before this episode starts if andrew hasn't measured his back i'm

gonna be livid oh oh don't you worry don't you worry should we't you worry. Should we start the episode? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. Hold on a second. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is T-Bone Ramsey and with me as always, Andrew Panton and Gavin Free. Episode 155. Little quick, at least we'll check in on everybody health-wise.

Gavin, how you doing? Pretty good. Good. Good to know. Gavin, how you doing? Pretty good. Good. Good to know. Nick, how you doing? All good. All right. That's good to know.

Eric, I'm a little concerned about you. How are you feeling? So far, Jeff, so good. Okay. That's quite a relief. Andrew, how are you doing? I have COVID, but I'm good. How about you, Jeff?

Somebody asked me how I'm doing? I have COVID, but I'm good. How about you, Jeff? Somebody ask me how I'm doing? I have COVID, but I'm good. Wait. Wait. And this is the reason that Jeff asked me how I was doing, because I am currently quarantining, because I was around Jeff after he tested positive. You both have COVID again?

Gavin, why don't you have COVID? Andrew and I clearly went out and got COVID. Andrew didn't go to Italy either. Are you sure? You're getting cucumber photos in Italy like in a week from now. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, it does. It does.

That was really mean of you, Jeff, to open with Noah and Gavin. How are you? Just Noah, the great. Just great. Great, Jeff. Tell us moreavin how are you just knowing the great one yeah just great great jeff tell us more about how good you feel if that was a different order i would have been less excited about how good i felt to try and make you guys feel better now it's so andrew and i found out uh i got coveted monday or i got well who knows when i got it i was diagnosed with covet monday and

then he tested positive tuesday so we So we're going through it together. We're like, we're buddies, though. We've decided. Yeah. I texted Jeff last night and I just wrote, remember when we made a podcast together? Because it's been so long. This feels like the long, it probably isn't. This feels like the longest gap ever, though, for some reason.

It feels so long. Oh, by the way, real fast, Eric, I have a producer, a production related question I'd like to ask you. Sure. OK, I would like to formally request a special one time use regulation episode length variance to be used specifically for the end of episode extension purposes for today and today only. Because we haven't been together in so long and we're only filming one episode. Maybe you'd let us go a few minutes over so we could catch up. I'm checking my notes, looking at schedules. Hang on.

Okay. Jeff, your request is granted. Ah, thank you very much. Just like an extra 10 minutes. That'd be nice. Give us some breathing room today, since it's so hard for Andrew and I. We both could use, yeah, some breathing room, I think, would be good. Any breathing, additional breathing space would be great.avin before we recorded this gavin you had

a you had a thing you said what did you say what you had a demand you had a singular demand that you'd measured your back so last night i'm isolating uh currently and i was reminded that i still had not measured my back so i got I got those fresh measurements for you today. And we found out that I had a 21 to 22 inch back. Yep. Eric had a load of bollocks, a load of shit. And I think Jeff had a similar length back to me. I was 22 inches, yeah.

Yeah. I think you guys just have short backs. What was your number, Eric? You're 25, right? Was the report? That's correct. yeah. Yeah. I think you guys just have short backs. What was your number, Eric? You're 25, right? Was the report? That's correct. Okay. 25.

So, before I give my number for my back measurement, I should tell the story of there was a time in the past when I measured my hand to see how big my hand was, and I measured it as 11 inches, and I lived my life for quite a while thinking I had 11-inch hands. And then I read randomly that Shaq's hands were, like,

10 1⁄2-inch long. Like, I realized there was a miscalculation when my hands would have been bigger than Shaq's, and I consider my hands smaller than the average hand. How did you get 11 inches? I don't know I have no I didn't use like a measuring tape or

anything it was like a toy I had that had notches on it and I measured it against that and I just thought like I had 11 notch long hat that's yeah yeah an 11 notch long hand so going into these measurements, that's an important thing to take away. My back.

Do we have any guesses how long my back is? Oh no. Well, I mean, you pride yourself on the length of your torso and back, so it's going to have to be longer than mine and Jeff's. So I'm going to say 23 inches. 23.

Eric is saying 31. Nick guessed 27. Jeff, do you have a guess? We're guessing in inches, not toy notches. Inches. Yeah, inches. Proper inches. I used a measuring tape.

I did this very professionally. And you did to that nobule on the top of the spine to like... I did the nobule on the top of the spine to like, yeah, kind of the crutch, the crux. The crux of the back crutch i i mean i think whatever the answer is it's gonna be bullshit but i'm gonna say 27 yeah i took this very seriously i did it multiple times to make sure i have by my measurements a 26 inch back oh 26 inches 26 inches. That seems like bullshit. That is...

You think that's bullshit? I'm... Complete nonsense. Why? What makes you say that? You're saying you've got four inches more back than me? Yes, I am saying that. Aren't we the same height?

We've talked about this before. I'm all back. I'm a lot of back. How tall are you? I'm five foot ten. Which is... You're telling me you're two you're two inches shorter than me and you have a four inch bigger back yes i am and let me let me i did some numbers because i was curious five foot ten means i'm i'm around 70 inches tall

i'm 37 percent back i got a 37 back. And then that made me think, well, what are my other dimensions? Where am I? So I went from like the rest of my neck to the top of my head. And I'm, uh, I'm,

I'm like, I'm 18% neck to top ahead. That's the other, the other side. I'm like 12 inches. So your head is half your back. Uh, I guess.

Yeah. Well, no, it's a little, it's a little little less wait what i got 12 inches from the neck to the top of the head okay how are you 37 back and 18 head well i'm gonna lay out the rest of my figures okay i got all these written down right let's keep track of this i'm 18 for 100 so obviously a person is 100 of whatever i'm 18 lucky neck to top ahead 37 back 17 butt length 28 legs that adds up to 100 so you're saying've got 9% more back than legs.

I do. Yeah. That's a big 9%, though. That's a lot. That's a lot in that 9%. And if you take all of those measurements, because obviously you've figured out the percentage from the measurements in inches.

Have you added together all of those inches to make up the 70-whatever inches? 100%. Yeah, no, I took this very seriously. Okay. I made sure I made the math work. I'm going to be honest. I had some issues with the 70 whatever. 100%. Yeah. No, I took this very seriously. Okay. I made sure I made the math work. I'm going to be honest. I had some issues with the math initially.

I was a 49% man for a while and I couldn't figure out what was going wrong. Percentages can be difficult. I eventually got the 89%, but I got help. We figured it out. We got there. You're panicking because you can't find your other 11%. Well, no. Listen, I got it.

Yeah. It was tough. I was like, why am I got it. Yeah, it was tough. I was like, why am I a 49% man? What has happened? What are your legs again? 29? What is it? My legs?

I'm at 28% legs. How's that possible? I'm just 28%. You're less than 30% leg? I'm less than 30% leg based on my calculations. A, you're an idiot. B, do you think you could eat

24 inches of pancakes? That seems like a lot. Right now, no. I don't think I could. I don't think I have that in me. So the answer to this very long question is... I expected some kickback on this by you guys. I thought you'd think that my measurements were inaccurate.

And with the Shaq hands thing, I think that's fair. I think having some doubts is a reasonable concern. So I reached out to the people that do the animation show that we make. And I wrote down my percentages. And I said, without context, could you have somebody draw someone with what these percentages what you interpret they would look like so we have i'm gonna post a photo in chat right now this is what it looks like based off of that and i gotta say i think i look pretty good i think that's me okay to be honest that you. That's pretty close to me.

They're so talented, all the people that do the art for a show. As someone who's stood next to you a lot, that is you. Except why in the name of Christ... Wait, is that a thumb? How many fingers do you have on that hand? What's going on? One, two, three, four. Yeah, I think that's four.

I think the fingers are right. That's not supposed to be me. It's just I said draw someone. That's you. But it is me. That's my point. I don't understand how that's not supposed to be you. That's you.

Because I didn't say draw me. I said these are these figures that I measured. Have somebody draw this without context, just what it would look like with these things, and it's me. So it is me, but it isn't me, is what I'm saying. They didn't try to make me. They just took the parts, and it is me,

because my measurements are correct. You know what? Based on this drawing alone, I'm going to accept your measurements until we're in person and can have somebody measure us all next to each other. I can't argue with that image of you. That's a great image

though. They sent it to me as proportions guy and I love that. That's proportions guy. Would you feel offended if the next time I see you in real life, I measure the shit out of you? No, absolutely not. Okay, because I just need the real figures. Yeah, no, absolutely.

And as somebody, I believe I'm top of Back Mountain right now. So that's a crown that I respect. Yeah, was it 26 you said? Yeah, 26. I can send you my numbers. You can cross-reference with your numbers at a future time. But that's just a back update. I know I let that slip in the past

and wanted to make sure I was on top of it. Got my totals done. That is excellent. Excellent. Excellent closure, I think. I totally agree. Yeah, thank you for the visual aids. Another thing in the past that we talked about

that I feel like we should probably address. Kevin, do you have a nickname? That was homework. We're supposed to come up with nicknames, I believe. Oh, nicknames like T-Bone that we wanted? Yeah, like because Jeff had T-Bone, and I think he wanted us to come up with nicknames. Just like if you want a nickname,

now's the time to give yourself one. I think I got one. I got a great one. I feel really good about mine. Okay, go for it. I was... This is... I didn't come up with a nickname. My partner gave me this nickname. think i got one i i got a great one i feel really good about my okay go for it i was uh this is uh i didn't come up with a nickname my partner gave me this nickname uh i was in bed nick said back man man 26 inch back man uh that'd be a great action figure it was just like all back hit the button do stuff anyway um i was in bed

i was relaxing uh and they walked into the room and i had my icing on my head as i do having a good relaxing time and uh they said oh no do you have a headache and then i explained no this is just the thing i'm now doing for leisure this is just comfortable and uh they've started calling me frosty because it's like frosting ah so i just my new nickname i'm just i'm frosty now a great nickname frosty pantin frosty pantin i didn't even associate the last name with the first but i feel really good about frosty it happened like the day after we had that recording and i was like holy shit it's perfect frosty uh gavin uh how are you doing on your nickname search um i couldn't really think of anything and then i just

something came into my head uh that i like and it's ram scoop okay okay so is it like one name ram scoop or is it like first ram last scoop? Like what is, uh, what's the thought? No, I just be one name Ram scoop. Okay. And it's because I remembered, I think I had red dwarf in my head.

This is the ship from red dwarf. And that front is the Ram scoop. And I just thought that's a good name. I like it. Jeff, you don't think he's kind of like walking into your name territory with like, Oh, because the REM thing.

Yeah, that's fine. Oh shit. I didn't even think I'm okay with that. Really? You didn't think of that., because the REM thing? Yeah. Nah, it's fine. Oh, shit. I didn't even think of that. I'm okay with that. Really? You didn't think of that? That's the first thing

I thought of. Oh, you know what, Jeff? If you want to take Ram Scoop, I'll give it up. No, no. I'm happy with T-Bone. I got T-Bone and I've only ever seen

one episode of Red Dwarfs so it would be disingenuous of me. Okay. I think Ram Scoop... That's the thing. You name yourself whatever you want. This is when...

And carte blanche here. We don't have to wait to be gifted to us. And you end up with some dumbass nickname like they called me Jeffro in sixth grade. That's great. I didn't like it then. That's why I'm T-Bone now. Honestly, Ram Scoop has supporting character energy to it.

Like, I could see T-Bone and Ramscoop working together. Yeah, I would always be after the end, I think. No one's ever starting with Ramscoop, and that's a place I'm happy to be. Like, Frosty, T-Bone, and Ramscoop. That's exactly what I was going to say. Like, this would be like Frosty would bring you into his gang, and he'd be like, this is T-Bone, and this is Ramscoop.

And I feel like if it was a TV series, and those are the three main characters, you would have the first two names memorized by the end of episode one and two, but it'd take you until episode four to remember Ramscoop, I think. I picture us as the supporting cast of Hot Rod. I can see that. We've got mullets. Yeah, just sitting around, Bill Hader, just talking about how we love the party. I picture us as the supporting cast of Hot Rod. I can see that. Just like Danny O'Brien and everybody.

Yeah, just sitting around. Bill Hader talking about how we love the party. Yeah. I've got a video if we want to watch a little video together. Yeah. I would love to watch video. I'll give the backstory. This is from a YouTube channel called Geo Wizard

where he does a lot of stuff. He'll try and walk across the country in a straight line which is really funny and I've talked about it before on podcasts. It's a good channel. And he does GeoGuessr as well. So pretty much every time he does a straight line mission across the country I'll also watch some other videos. And this is called TimeGuessr

I guess. So it's similar to GeoGuessr but you just get a picture. It's not necessarily a historical picture. It's just you have to use the context clues to figure out where exactly it is on the map and then what year it is so i think that currently he's he's looking at this sign he's seen monroe so he thinks it's potentially in monroe louisiana and then we'll just watch this clip together we don't actually have anything do we the chances of these things still going is ridiculous. And there is a Navy sailor. I didn't notice him.

Ah. I don't think they're coming up here, man, so I don't think this is going to be right, but I'm going to go for it. Let's just go in the middle of there and now for the year. Well, 45. Wait a minute. Key West. I don't believe it. Is this Key West? Oh God, good riddance, Monroe. See you later. Key West. It's gotta be Key West. that makes more sense as well navy but it's got that's a very strategic place across the street from sloppy joseph looks like sloppy jose to me

that outside street let's look at the shadows here the shadows the sun will be definitely in the south here and the shadows come from there so this guy's like a scientist. I would put us on something like this. I'm not even going to look for any of these. Okay, did you see where he clicked? No. Could you see this? I mean, it's a little blown out for us. It's a little blown out, but yeah.

He clicked in the intersection right next to Sloppy Joe's. He clicked exactly where the cameras are pointing on the live stream. Whoa! What are the freaking chances of that? It turns out it's the right street. The picture is just slightly further down. But I spat my drink out when I saw where he clicked. And it was literally where we watch.

It was like a week after we did that Sloppy Joe's bingo. He was about half a kilometer off in where it was actually taken and he clicked in the intersection. That is fucking insane and I have one little piece of Sloppy Joe's trivia that I could throw out

to add color to this if you'd like. I was reading on the Sloppy Joe's wiki while I was on vacation about the origin of the Sloppy Joe and color to this if you'd like uh i was reading on the sloppy joe's wiki uh while i was on vacation uh about the origin of the sloppy joe and listen to this passage one theory of the sandwich's origin is that in 1917 in a havana cuba bar owner jose sloppy joe abael uh e otero created a simple sandwich filled with meat and stewed tomatoes it was his interpretation of a picadillo uh his bar was reportedly frequented by Americans and Britons,

including Ernest Hemingway, obviously, Graham Greene, who's a fantastic writer, if you've never read any of his work, and Errol Flynn. What? His bar was reportedly frequented by Americans and Britons, including Errol Flynn, Ernest Hemingway and Graham Greene circa 1937. What is happening?

Hemingway then convinced him to move to Key West, Florida or whatever. Dude, Errol fucking Flynn, who only exists in our universe because you said the name because you called yourself Errol, went to fucking Sloppy Joe's with Ernest Hemingway. And it's not like he just went there and no one noticed. He's like notably someone who went there to the point where it was written and recorded. Yeah. Yeah, and then I watch the YouTube channel

where someone incorrectly guesses right outside Sloppy Joe's. Everything's happening at the same time. It's crazy. It is so fucking bizarre. A lot of great Sloppy Joe's stuff recently. Jeff, are you aware of their Independence Day are you familiar with the conch republic yeah i'm familiar with the conch republic i had no idea that was thing so jeff you went on vacation to italy you went on vacation during

their independence day week which i thought was i know terrible timing for sloppy joe stuff i've been trying to watch i didn't know anything about it gevin are you aware of the conch republic no they set up i don't remember when this was maybe like the 70s was the 80s i think early 80s yeah okay they randomly the government set up a checkpoint on the one highway out of town like right in the center of their their area essentially so you had to clear the security checkpoint to leave the keys and it was killing tourism and so they're trying to get it removed and they wouldn't remove it they're ignoring all requests so the mayor of key west uh essentially gathered people and got everybody to agree to defect from the u.s and to call themselves the conch republic and they started war they

immediately declared war against the United States and then surrendered. But it was just all like a publicity stunt to try to get media attention on the fact that they wouldn't get rid of this checkpoint that was killing their town, essentially. And it worked. But now every year they celebrate the Independence Day from America of the Conk Republic. And they do a whole week of tourism shit. And it it's great so how long were they technically at war i think two weeks yeah they seceded from the union for like two weeks it was very brief quite a long time yeah and and that's why they call themselves the conch republic now and it's a great marketing tool and it worked out really well for them so what do you need to be able to um declare war on the country that you're in just enough people i guess yeah i guess if everyone agrees and the people in power

you can then remove and attack interesting there was like some issue i want to say where like there was a rally for it and somebody hit a naval officer with a thing of like dried bread and so like the declaration of war was almost like a panic move to like calm the crowd to then immediately surrender was the idea um at least from my understanding of it this is crazy i had no idea that was the thing there was a parade going on i was like what is happening what are they celebrating how is jeff missing this also i need to send a file i've been uh recording some clips from sloppy joe's i had one of the greatest arguments i've ever seen of 20 minutes a 20 minute long it's the most compelling television i've ever watched of a wedding gone wrong of like was it was it close to slop o'clock it was yeah it was uh what

time it would have been like 1245 Eastern, which I feel like, Jeff, is that kind of like prime slop o'clock? 11, 1115 is when slop o'clock starts, so yeah, you're right in there. Okay, well, it was like prime slop o'clock, and honestly, it was kind of quiet, and it was disappointing,

and I was like, oh, man, I'm surprised that with the independence festivities and all that stuff, like this isn't a rowdier time, and then just out of nowhere just hearing somebody say i don't know what you're fucking talking about and then a guy going you crossed the line there's a line and you crossed it and then it just kept going and she's like you're gonna ruin kyle's wedding and she's like i don't give a fuck i don't care i don't care i don't care you crossed the line

the line was crossed i am gonna stay here and i'm gonna fight this guy and they're just hearing like we are not gonna get arrested in key west and it kept building and then eventually the groom shows up and like tried to come and it just kept escalating and it was crazy yeah it was fantastic i need to send to you footage jeff i can send it to you if you want it, Gavin, as well. It's an all-time argument. At some time or at some point in it, somebody yells, this isn't Game of Thrones. It's great.

It's a fantastic fight. And it's been honestly the high of maybe like any entertainment I've watched this year was the Sloppy Joe's livestream. Should we do a live Sloppy Joe's bingo soon? Yeah. I actually have a date that i want to pitch to you guys after this record i'm not doing it okay yeah good yeah but there's there's some stuff in the works gav so that we can hopefully do do one before too long actually pretty pretty

not not yeah pretty soon um when this comes out pretty soon yeah. Yeah. So hopefully everybody's available because I'm very, very excited about it. Man, I got to say, going to Italy for 11 days was awesome and I had a wonderful vacation. And if the souvenir of my 11 days in Italy was COVID, it was worth it. It was, I got, man,

I got to see a lot of churches. Holy shit. But I tried to keep tabs on sloppy joes and it was so hard i it every fucking nba was brutal all the playoff games started at two in the morning and so i'd have to watch from two in the morning to four in the morning or 4 30 in the morning and you know then the celtics would shit the bed and then because it was like on a tour i was on that was sometimes on a bus sometimes on on a train, sometimes in a car. Every morning we had to have our bags ready and outside of our room by like 6.15 in the morning.

And then we were leaving at like 7. So I didn't sleep for like 10 straight days. Speaking of the Celtics, how are your Italy shits? Yeah. I didn't well i learned we i learned interestingly enough uh that uh i thought i liked italian food turns out i like i like like american italian food every fucking my shits were fine uh my shits were totally fine unremarkable um the the bidets are weird over there so i tended not

to use them they're like what's weird about uh they usually like they're yeah like on a like a a handle on a fucking cord that you got to maneuver yourself i like that my bidet does all the work i don't want to like start spraying and fucking miss i just it was confusing uh it was more trouble than it was worth and i ended up making a bigger mess than uh any any mess with the bidet is unacceptable have you used one that's like a separate appliance the one that you like get off and squat over yeah i don't like that one either okay uh i wasn't crazy about that one either um so it was a pretty you know i had i had to wipe my butthole like a savage but other than that it's like all the food in Italy, it's like, do you like spaghetti? Then you'll love it with clams.

It's like, oh, I don't want clams. And they're like, tough shit. Clams are in everything. Do you like ravioli? Sure. Then you're going to love clam ravioli. How do you feel about clam lasagna? Do you like tiramisu?

You're going to love clam tiramisu. God damn with the clams, man. a lot coastline they really do uh the food was pretty good you realize that like you don't understand what al dente in america is al dente is a is a whole different level in but it was good the food was mostly good did you feel like you had different morning thoughts in a different country i did my my morning thoughts were i i kind of gave up on them because i was so stressed because i was like i was like waking up two or three times you know it's like i was i didn't go to bed till like 4 30 after the celtics lose or whatever and then i'm asleep for like 45 minutes and then i got to get up and figure out

what toiletries i need to set aside in a backpack so i can get my suitcases packed to put them outside the door and then go back to sleep for 30 minutes. It was unproductive. I have morning thoughts from before and after. I do have two stories I'd like to share from Italy that I think will encompass my trip.

I'll say just for the record, I went to Lake Como, I went to Venice, I went to Florence, I went to Siena, and I went to Lake Como. I went to Venice. I went to Florence. I went to Siena. And I went to Rome. And Rome is by far the coolest place I've ever been, probably. And I'd be happy never to go to Venice again.

It's just too many fucking people, man. It's just gross. Okay. So I had two things that happened in Italy that I thought you guys might appreciate. One was I developed an enemy on the trip. I didn't realize how much I need an enemy in my life at all times. But when there isn't one,

boy, do I find them. So we were on this trip. It was like 22 people, right? And it was like a trip that emily's parents planned before the pandemic and we were supposed to go in 2020 um and so it's been delayed and delayed and delayed and so everybody that had initially got tickets all just got even older uh emily and i and her sister-in-law were the only people under 60 on the trip so everybody was between like 65 and like 80 uh the kind of people that would be impatient waiting for a proposal

yeah kind of yeah and so like so i spent i spent the last 11 days moving at the speed of octogenarian which was a special kind of challenge in general. But all lovely people love them to death. But so it's a really intimate trip. Right. We comprised five of 22 people. So there are only 17 other people on the trip with us. Right.

And so you get to know each other very quickly. And they have a lot of like the first night you have you get together in a little in a hotel conference room kind of and you have to introduce yourselves and tell them about your life and shit you would hate it i also god that's so awful but i you know i just i made a dumb joke about like about marrying up or something and you know i was just trying to lighten the mood and uh but anyway i was affable and you get to know everybody's face instantly because there's only like 17 other people that you don't know there. So you learn them immediately. Uh,

and then you like, then we went on a fucking tour together. We went on a boat all across Lake Como, went to all these fucking restaurants together. We have to like mix and match. So we're sitting at each other's tables and you're like, it's like immersion. You have to,

you're, you're immersed in these other people's lives and you get to know them very quickly. So I'm on day four of this trip, day four, we're going from Venice down to Florence and we stop at a winery in Tuscany somewhere. That's also like a, like a fancy fucking hotel. Like we pulled into the driveway and there's uh there's two aston martins and a ferrari parked in the in the driveway and you're like holy shit this is this

place fancy and then we eat outside and have this like lunch with wine that i can't drink and so they're just like confused and offended that i don't want their wine from their winery and then i feel like an asshole and i'm trying to be like no i'm just i i'll destroy the place if i drink please don't you know uh and uh anyway i get up and i go to the bathroom and me and all the old ladies get up and go to the bathroom because we have to pee constantly and and i'm standing in line with this group of ladies that i have been on tour i just i've been on a bus with for four hours just like having to play bingo together we played Italy bingo we just played that day all together like fucking like

fucking forced to play bingo about Italy and by the way sloppy juice bingo way better and and I'm standing in line with this lady and there's one of the ladies on the trip and she turns back she looks at me and she goes so are you staying at the winery and I go why would I do that and she goes no I mean you staying at the winery? And I go, why would I do that?

And she goes, no, I mean, because the winery was like a hotel as well. And there was like a pool with like fancy fucking Italian people hanging out by the pool and stuff. And she goes, no, I mean, are you a resident of this hotel? Are you staying here? And I go, what are you talking about? And she goes, are you staying at this hotel? And I go, lady, I've been on a bus with you for four days. And she goes, are you staying at this hotel? And I go, lady,

I've been on a bus with you for four days. And she goes, what? And I go, we're on the tour together. We've been, we sat by each other. And she just looked at me

with just like disdain in her eyes. And she goes, you must be one of the family then. And just walked away as if like the, like we're like, we, and I was like,

oh, it is fucking on between you and me lady so she was my fucking enemy for the next eight days and i hated her every second and i was still nice to her and i was still polite to her but i was a little less knight and a little less sincere every time i said something to her wow were you offended that she didn't know though i'm the only person under 80 on the fucking bus. I'm covered in tattoos and I'm loud as dicks. How could she have not noticed me?

We were together for four days. I sat next to her on a speedboat. I helped her get off the speedboat. I held her dumb hand. Wow. You helped her. That's a bond. Anytime you're riding with someone in a speedboat, that is a genuine bond you have formed with someone in a speedboat that is that is a

genuine bond you have formed yeah i can't believe that she that's disrespectful i totally agree dude and so uh so from that point on i realized uh the trip got instantly better because i realized i hated her and then there's just something clicked and it was like oh this i i need this tension in my life i gotta have something to be mad about you know or something that some some focus i mean that's clearly a thing, though. Do they all know about the family? Is it like all of them versus you, or is it just her? I wondered that as well.

Well, she was on a trip with her cousins, and they were lovely, and I had many nice conversations with them, so I don't think so. I don't know. I think it was just her dumbass. But, yeah, not a fan of her. Not a fan of her. Where was she from? I don't want to say all right the u.s she was the northeast she's from the northeast yeah that's enough yeah

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so head on over to www.rtxaustin.com to get more information about the event and buy your badge one other story i have uh we were like we were at lake como we got there a day early and so we stayed at this really nice hotel that had a fancy spa that they had just reopened and it had like all of these different kind of like spa treatments you could try. Like there was this like room you walk in and you walk through ice cold water that's like up to your ankles or like a little above your ankles. And then you go into like hot water and then ice cold water and then hot water. And you like follow this Zen path and shit.

And then there's like there's a room full of ice that you just go in and freeze in for five minutes. Then you go get into a hot room. And there's a room where you dump buckets of hot or cold water on your head. Just all kinds of weird shit, right? And so Emily and I are just going through and doing it all. And then after we go through all the gimmicks, we're like, do you want to just hang out in the spa or in the sauna?

And we're like, yeah, let's just get in a nice hot sauna and just fucking sweat out all the gross us and just fucking just relax. And so we get in the sauna and it's not super hot yet and i'm like okay so i like click the on button to like flip it on and the lights come on and i'm like all right it's gonna start heating up now and so we like lay down and get comfy and we're just laying there and it's okay but it's like it's like the least impressive sauna i've ever been in and i'm just thinking about like why they would have such a mediocre sauna in such a nice hotel with all this other all this other gimmicky shit right and as we're laying there we're just kind

of like talking we both realize that we can hear this like somewhere off in the distance this alarm going off and it's like we're like uh somebody's day this alarm going off. And it's like, we're like, somebody's day is ruined. And it just keeps going on. I hope this isn't like the end of the world or something. Like 28 days later, this is how we find out, you know. And it just keeps going forever.

And we're kind of joking about it because it's been going on for like five minutes. And then the front door swings open and some dude runs in and he goes, is everybody okay? Are you okay? And we're like, yeah, man, what's up? And he's like, oh, you hit the alarm button. We just make sure everything's okay. And he went and he turned off the alarm button and then the sauna turned on.

We got in and I just immediately pulled the alarm. And we were sitting in a fucking in a cold ass sauna not working because it was shut down while there was an alarm blaring around the entire and we couldn't hear it because we were in the sauna so you didn't notice

everything turn off the second you pressed that yeah the second you pressed that it got it got dim and hot and we we're like, oh, this feels more right. I... Was it... So where was the button? Was it in the sauna? Was it outside? What is... No, it was in the sauna, just on the wall. Really?

I feel like, once again, sort on them. I feel like there should be more of a sign. How is it not marked with a huge sign? Yeah, how does that not constantly happen? I don't know. be more of a sign. How is it not marked with a huge sign? Yeah. How does that not constantly happen? I don't know. I don't speak Italian. Well, I mean, the color scheme usually, like an exclamation mark or something. I didn't notice it.

I just felt like a thing to flip. I was like, yeah, this must be it. I wonder how often that happens. Like, does that guy just have to sprint across the hotel like every three days? I mean, by his reaction, it sounds like it hardly ever happens. Otherwise, he would have just strolled in casually. He looked stressed out. Then immediately, he hated me.

Which I get. He's been talking to the other lady, probably. Oh, my God. Anyway, so that's my Italy trip. Oh, I love it. Let me tell you something. I saw all the greatest works of art. Anything you can think of, I saw.

And I got to see private tours of it. I got to see a private tour of the Sistine Chapel. It was amazing. I got to see all this stuff. And all I've discovered is, man, are there a lot of pictures, a lot of paintings of Mary and the baby Jesus. Why didn't they paint anything else?

Like baby's first steps? Like surely it was a big deal when Jesus learned to walk, right? Or like first time he had solid food? Or like Jesus playing ball in the yard? Or like anything else? There are entire cities devoted to pictures of the Virgin Mary and the baby

Jesus at the manger or like the day after when they have their first like mommy son photo. But like nothing else. I just like it's insane. Yeah. Why aren't more presidential portraits of them like having lunch? Yeah. It's just why that moment like so much else happened in that dude's life.

They could have drawn pictures of. And we're talking like old like art. Yeah, dude. Every museum you go to and you're like, as the Virgin Mary was the baby Jesus, and over here is the baby Jesus with the Virgin Mary. I thought you said you didn't speak Italian. Yeah, it's just like back to back to back.

Well, you know, I lived there, man, for 10 days. I lived there! I've been visiting. You were a resident. I'm practically Italian now. Do you think they realized what they were doing, or do you think they were all being original? Like, these were all made independently,

and then they had the big art show, and they went, oh, no. They all got together. It's like, oh, no. You should have told me you were also drawing. Mary, Jesus. I just feel like if, like, if, like if like they get all the Harry Potter fans got together and they all only drew the picture of the first book. And they're like, there's seven other books of shit you could draw from.

As yeah, I don't know. That's funny. I think that's a great analogy, though, because I wasn't really on board. I thought I'm like, I don't know. It's like church commissioned and it's just pictures of baby Jesus. But when you said Harry Potter all from the first book. Well, you think about it, it's like fandom, right? It's like it was the best story around back at the time.

It was like Game of Thrones of the BC 80s, right? It was like the shit that was happening that everybody was invested in. All the fan fiction was about it. Everybody's writing, you know, that people are, all the shipping, everything is all about it everybody's writing uh you know that people are all the shipping everything is all about it and it just like continued for so so long like the staying power is phenomenal for thousands of years they were still drawn they're still drawn pictures uh and and doing that shit but it's just all of that same fucking scene it's like so much else happened jesus was in his 30s.

Why did Jesus eat lunch when he's 15 at school? Where's that picture? Why didn't somebody paint that? Jesus is hanging out with his friends in the backyard. Having a horse race or having a donkey race with his buddy, Craig or anything, you know? Sure. I'm just thinking of a sub-genre of fan fiction around Jesus

and other... I'd never consider that. Like, non-ironic Jesus fanfic and media. That's what I would consider the Bible to be. It was written, like, 300 years after he died. I mean more in the context of, like, this is Twilight, but Jesus is there. Like, the idea of wanting to to implement x-men but jesus

technically andrew i think jesus is in all of the stories he's in all of us i see a great point yeah anyway that was my big takeaway i got to see stuff that was like dude rome was fucking awesome you get to go see stuff that you're like you're like oh the coliseum's yeah that's 3 000 years older than jesus and you're like holy shit that's fuckingiseum's. Yeah, that's 3000 years older than Jesus. And you're like, holy shit, that's fucking old. And it's still there and you can still walk around it. And and you just think about like how much shit must have happened, how many interesting things must have happened. And then you go to all the museums and they tell you about four different, you know, four different dudes or events. And you're just like, man.

And even then you just get like the small snapshot. Yeah. and you're just like man and even then you just get like the small snapshot yeah when you had your rivalry with that woman did you do anything small but petty that gave you joy did you have like a small moment yeah well fuck you so like anytime i would smile at her or wave or like open the door for her or anything i just would on the inside i'd be a little less sincere about it like i don't think she picked up on it and that's that's it was such a subtle like it was for me internally i'm not going to be rude to a lady an older lady uh externally of course but it was on the inside i was just like i mean i mean it like 60 i like the interview doing something in real life like a little bit of a

smile like raised eyebrows but in your head it's, like a little bit of a smile, like raised eyebrows, but in your head, it's just like a furrowed brow and slightly closed mouth. Exactly. I'm like, I'm the inside. I'm like, I hope you don't have a nice day.

Did you guys see this shit? The corridor crew did the Jason Bourne vanishing trick. I think that was like a week after our episode came out. It's just more of our simulation breaking down and everything's just a coincidence. Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, I guarantee it's a coincidence because I doubt they heard it and then put a video together of that.

No, no. I read some comments that people Gavin was on some of their videos one time and clearly Gavin set this up. So Gavin, you're here. You can come clean. You can let everyone know that you did this.

I mean, I'm friends with Ren. I like Ren. Apparently his wife listens to F*** Face, which is nice. See, there you go. So just admit it. So simply admit it, Gavin. Nope, nothing to do with me at all.

I actually heard rumors that Gavin was inside the van that the guy was jumping into. Wow. definitely false well i haven't watched the video yet how is it i haven't watched it yet either i just saw it's just gonna be them doing a way better job of it than we're gonna do yeah definitely oh that's awesome i like those uh i don't know them personally uh but i like their content so and we've always like run in similar circles yeah ren is like one of my favorite people online just like totally like one of the most enthusiastic people you'll ever meet that's awesome jeff i have a sports move i want to remind you since

you're a sports influencer i had an idea i had a I think, petty idea that I'm very proud of. I didn't initiate on. But the NHL draft lottery happened a few days ago. And there was like a really good player was is expected to go in this upcoming draft. And the Chicago Blackhawks won. And I fucking hate the Blackhawks. They're terrible, awful organization. Can't stand them.

Just the worst in so many ways. Jeez. And I was reading a news story like an hour after it happened that they had sold like $2.5 million in season tickets like an hour after they had won the lottery to get this player.

I think a great move and I hadn't ever thought about this before. I don't know if it's possible. I didn't look into logistics of it fully. did try but the site was down um i think a great move would be to buy season tickets for teams you hate and then sell them back to the fans at an above average price if the demand allows it like that's the thing i'm gonna be actively looking to do well like scalping for shitty teams sort Sort of, yeah, but like buying season, I never considered buying season tickets.

Yeah, but it's not scalping, is it? Well, no, because I'm buying the tickets from the team, but then just never going to the games. Oh. I'm only selling them. And so therefore, fans of that team would then have to pay me to see their team. And I feel like in a weird way

that I'm getting like a one-up on on the fans of that team you added a a moral quandary to just scalping like you you've just you've somehow put sports anger into like the secondary market yeah i don't i'm not really sure what it accomplishes this is what it accomplishes i i guess would you sell the tickets for more or less than what oh more okay so there's just more than what i paid for oh no but no hear me out well hear me out i lost my team lost the draft lottery i'm really mad about it but now fans of the Blackhawks have to pay a tax to me, a guy that hates their organization. I'm profiting off of their fandom. And that makes me feel okay about losing the draft.

Now that you put it like that, I'm pretty sure it is scalping. How did he put it the first time? What if you... Well, because I was thinking, like, before the pandemic, I was seriously considering buying a season ticket block to the Celtics, figuring I could travel to seven or eight games, and then anyone that I couldn't make, I'd just sell on, like... Yeah.

You're allowed to do that? Uh-huh. Yeah, why wouldn't I be? Absolutely. I do that. I have season tickets to Austin FC, and I sell the tickets that I can't go to the games to, yeah. But I would be buying them with the intention of going to most or all of them,

and then if circumstances change, I have the safety valve of being able to sell them, hopefully for an increased rate. It seems like it'd be a funnier gotcha if you could figure out a way to sell those tickets but only sell them to people that hate the blackhawks who are then gonna that's yeah gonna be you know like extroverted to the away team nuisances yeah like like maybe some of the discount to the away team that is the extension

of that if you were a james bond like billionaire villain the move would definitely be to buy as many season tickets as you could and then either just not go or send opposing fans to every home game yeah the company still makes all the money though yeah but like it's about you it's about you're lying to yourself to make you feel better about your sports situation interesting none of it is logical like that's the first thing you gotta get rid of when assessing yeah i think that works way better on a on a grander scale like if you buy a whole block is because it wouldn't even to be clear like i couldn't if they're selling above what i bought

them for that's because of demand for market demand yeah yeah it's not me i'm not i'm not purposely bumping because if i did then people just wouldn't buy them. But if market demand caters, which it generally does when there's excitement around like a team that has potential, I just think it's a great penny move. Is there a team that you would do this with Gavin? Do you have like a sports hate for someone?

Oh, Osno. Yeah. Okay. Well, there you go. No hesitation. Well,

I mean, every team's got a rival. Yep. Imagine if you were more successful in life than you currently are. Yeah. And you were able to, there's like the big Premier League Cup. It's between Arsenal and Tottenham.

And you were able to, and it's a 100,000 person stadium, and you were able to buy 50,000 Arsenal fan seats and then just leave it empty and it's just 50, person stadium and you were able to buy 50 000 arsenal fan seats and then just leave it empty and it's just 50 000 tottenham fans and then just fucking crickets inevitably beat spurs it's just complete silence boing because it's actually like i've been to games where that the away turnout was so low that you can barely hear anyone over there and it's not like everyone boos when a goal is scored it's just

quiet like people just mainly get quiet and it's a really funny sight to like hear the ball hit the net in a big stadium and just people like you can hear the players going yeah that'd be great if arsenal play see now you're on board you're loving this fantasy i'm back on board could i talk to you about the problem i'm having at the moment please and i've i've talked in the slack about this but you know as you know i'm I'm hounded by slightly weird house problems a lot of the time. I've had my carpet mushrooms and my sink mushrooms. Constant battle. And now I've got my slime.

Slime? My slime face. The slime era. What is this? Oh my god. What is this shit? Where is this coming from? That is what is this shit where's this coming from that is you got the last of a season two starting in your house is what you have yeah i

don't want to touch it good that shouldn't is it slimy it looks like mold or oh like fungus yeah it's like it's like translucent goo you're gonna going to end up like Stephen King in Creepshow if you touch that. Do not touch that. Yeah, don't touch the meteor shit. Yeah, I don't know what to do about this. This is probably one for the audience to help out with. What am I doing with this slime? Have you tried power washing it?

I would try power washing it. That'd be my first phase, I think. Well, yeah, I could wash it off, it isn't it more interesting to see how big the slime gets well it is i'm just if you wanna oh i didn't i thought we didn't realize i didn't realize that's what we were doing with this okay i'm sorry what i was i was looking up solutions what it could possibly be i things to make it go away i didn't realize that we were in a well let's see what this thing is yeah and see how far it can go situation when jeff was in his crotch rot phase he didn't say i wonder how far this will go let's just wait and see well i don't have slime growing on my

balls i mean it's not like i don't think it's that urgent it's gone i mean but you don't know what it is you don't know how urgent it is to me this is how um like the original super mario bros movie this is how like the cooper world started what do you mean it's a slimy place isn't it everything's like covered in goo in there dennis is like living in slime world so you think like if they do a zoom out it would just be the like in men in black where they keep zooming out or whatever this is a tiny city i'm saying that this is the beginning this is where it started have you checked on it recently is this a current photo oh this is about two weeks ago i haven't looked at it for a while what that's oh my god go look

at it go run out look at it right now yeah Yeah, do you have any keeping tabs on this? I'll go right now. Yeah, go. Are you going to take a picture? Yeah, take a picture. Okay. I don't understand. Nick says it may already be too late. Yeah.

I mean, the reality is, in another three weeks, it's going to be too hot in Texas for anything to survive. Yeah. And the fucking sun will kill it. I was really looking up. I'm like, oh, I fucking sun will kill it. I was really like looking up I'm like, oh, I wonder what this could be. I'm searching like outdoor slime fungus growing on house. I'm like doing searches. What are the best ways out?

And Gavin's like, no, I want to see what happens. Let's see what happens. Yeah, let's see. It's fucking gross. I got a problem here, Doc. Let's see what happened. Do you want to treat? Nah, let's just, let's play it out. Let's see what's going on. If nah let's just let's play it out let's see what's going on if that was growing on my house i would be taking care of it already

yes there's i wouldn't not be taking care of it wow i mean if it starts heating up you should cut that section of his wall off to preserve it inside we got to see where this goes right you got to remove the wall of course clearly obviously how are you guys feeling by the way tired but like yeah happy i guess yeah what oh my god i feel uh is that bigger i can't tell yeah hold on i'd say it is about the same i think think it looks a lot darker. I think it's more established. It looks more evil at the bottom. Yeah. The bottom.

Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. You can see the darkness spreading. This is how strange this season one of stranger things. Oh, it's like to the upside down.

Yeah. It's definitely getting, it looks like it's eating away at the bottom of your wall. Maybe it does look like it's eating. Oh, I of your wall, maybe. It does look like it's eating. Oh, I should move. I'm so excited for the comments on this where people are going to be like, you need to sell your house. I've seen this before, and it's killer mold, and you need to burn it down.

That mold has priors. You need to get out of there. None of it is that important or that exciting. It's just some mold on a home. This is two weeks before the house and poltergeist sucked itself up into another dimension. Alright, well I'll keep an eye on it.

There's concern the heat, when it heats up over the next few weeks, will just naturally kill this. And if you want to see where it goes, what lengths are you willing to go to protect this? I could bag it. Yeah. No! Yeah.

You're gonna bag it? Or, like, tape transparent plastic around it? Yeah. The toothbrush gagging guy with, like, the cold is gonna bag the slime wall, and that'll be okay? That sounds so gross. Huh. You were unfazed by that and I can't believe that you were...

Just say, yeah, I'll bag it. You did a really good job of matching photos. Did you attempt that or is that just naturally the photo you took? I just sort of remembered taking it there. Just took it again. That's really good. Thanks.

It's a problem. I have new vocabulary I found out, by the way. Yeah? Yeah, like if ever we're, like Dan was here recently, we're deciding what to eat every day and what to have for lunch and stuff. And if he suggested something, I'd be like, yeah, that's like a seventh round pick. And I just like the way it sounds.

And it's Andrew's go-to. But do you understand what that means? No. And neither did Dan. But just based on the context I gave him. You were giving, you were explaining it to Dan? The only thing I was saying was it sounds like a seventh round pick and then what does he infer from that do you think i think just from my

tone i could have said anything and he would have known i wasn't fussed about having uh jersey mics again or whatever um by the time this is out all of our stuff will have been out and everything or whatever but at the time of this recording the Rock Not Rock draft has come out a week ago or just before the Condor Man release. Thoughts on how the Rock Not Rock draft with a little bit of time sort of between you and the fan reaction. Any thoughts on Rock Not Rock draft? I saw a lot of comment leavers who are pretty happy with crack as my best pick. A lot of support for crack. Maybe I was onto something.

I just, I think, I said it to Eric at the time, and I think it's still true. I think it's probably the best piece of content we've ever made. I mean, I feel like the crack rock

is the Johnny Manziel of the rock pick. Like, it's flashy on the board. You feel really good about it in the offseason, but if you were to put your team to the test, it's flashy on the board. You feel really good about it in the offseason. But if you were to put your team to the test, it's going to fall apart. You don't want Crack Rock on the roster. Can you say what you just said again, but in English?

Well, Johnny Manziel, he's a football player. No, it's just people like it. People like the pick. I think it's important to uh to remember going forward i'm sure i don't think we have any drafts lined up but if we do more which i assume we will it's a good data point oh wow there's a poll done there yeah there were a couple polls now here's the thing here's the thing if there was just one poll supporting gavin in his winning here uh then you know whatever the poll on the subreddit poll 5.5k

votes on the YouTube poll Gavin with 52% holy shit Gavin you far and away are I mean here's the thing it doesn't matter what they voted for it's

truly doesn't matter but it doesn't matter. I don't care what the audience thinks. I think they decide. I feel like we have to respect the final opinion of the audience. I think the entire point is... I'm just letting you know I don't think I'm ever going to do that.

Nick won the first one, right? We decided that. Gavin definitely won the second one. I think that's one to Nick, one to me. And I wonder what Maul will say. I'm so curious about the Maul draft. It's so different. People are going to think that it's like,

people are going to just be like so ready for another Rock Not Rock, and it's just us being so happy about it. Yeah, and all the issues my favorite part of it is the people who have determined that they have a better way to run the draft, which is totally fine. You may have a better, all I can say to that is you and your friends

should do that draft and have the best fucking fun and just enjoy it and have so much fun doing it because they are a ton of fun. They're just a ton of fun to do. But if you had issues with the way we ran the rock, not rock draft, those same, I mean,

it's the exact same thing in the mall draft. So just go in forewarned. Although I got to say, I think the mall draft is just as good in a different way. It's so good. It's so good. But man, Gavin,

congrats. Congratulations. You did. These are crazy though. Like, look at it. It's like everyone else is second place almost

it's like there's not it's weird it's like yeah especially that Spotify one yeah it's wise Nick and Eric have

and Jeff almost have the exact same amount there's one name you're lacking you missed there which one well you clearly lost I was trying not to

you know I think if people voted with their minds You clearly lost. I was trying not to. You know, I think if people voted with their minds instead of their hearts, saying I was a downer on the picks, I think I would have a higher percentage of the vote. That's what I think. I think people need to start thinking logically and not emotionally in these drafts. I got to go. I got to agree with Andrew.

I think it's also disrespectful that Jeff, he had the second biggest killer on the board for anybody, and he's not getting the respect it deserves. Oh, it's fine. I'm just happy. I'm just happy that the content exists. Yeah, we should.

So we need to, after this, probably arrange the next Office Day because we're getting to the point where all of our supplemental that we've been sat on for months is going to be out. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we discussed maybe

watching the Dracula movie. Somebody mentioned that we had said we were going to watch Day of the Dolphin, that movie about how George C. Scott trains a dolphin to kill the president. We got more Sloppy joes we could do. I don't know what the next draft would be, but I feel like

there's going to be a rich tapestry of drafting in our future. I mean, if you pick the next movie, we're almost snake drafting movies to watch, right? You had the last pick as well? Oh, yeah. I also don't have to have the next movie pick.

We can watch whatever you guys want to. I just want to watch more movies with you. Same. Jeff, you suggested... Did you suggest recently having a clock that made... Yeah, slop a clock clock. That had slop a clock.

Yeah, I said we should make a clock that's just empty, but it just says slop a clock at 11.15. As soon as you said that, I was imagining the lobby of a big office building with all the different time zone clocks and you could have a panel of four clocks and on each time zone

it would have the correct indication for slop o'clock. Like Tokyo, it's gonna be London. There's no numbers on it it just went at slop o'clock, it just says it's time. Yeah, like theon one would be like seven in the morning or something that's a great idea oh that's a great yeah like highlight what if every clock was colored differently to reflect when slop o'clock was for that clock

yeah yeah i love it that's great oh man Andrew, are you taking Paxlovid? No. What? Paxlovid? Paxlovid. It's like a COVID treatment. The pills you take. I'm on Gatorade.

They say, you might want to look into it. They say, I called my doctor and they gave it to me for free. So you take it for like five days, like in the morning and at night, but they say one side effect of it is that it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. And I just don't know anybody else that's taken it to confirm, but I just wanted to see, cause this is, it is the most understated side effect ever.

It is the most intense, bad taste. And it has been in my mouth. I will not go away. It's like sour and bitter at the same time. And it's everything I take. It's like the opposite of like, you know how when people were like losing their sense of smell and taste

when they had COVID? It's like now my sense of smell and taste has been replaced by sour bitter. Like you wish you could lose your sense of smell. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. It's been so interesting. Have you tried to eat anything overpowering? Like a big garlic or something?

No. Maybe I should try to eat a big garlic tonight. Don't look into that. When's the last time you had a big garlic, Jeff? It's been a minute. You know, garlic gives me the worst of the farts. Really?

Sometimes we take a clove of garlic and cut it in half and then you pour a little olive oil and some salt on it and then you just let it roast in the oven for like, I don't know,

half hour, 45 minutes. And then when you pull it out, it's like soft and chewy. It's like almost like creamy and there's like garlic juice everywhere. And if I eat like that entire clove of garlic, which I could do,

I gotta sleep outside. It's like, as a matter of fact, i could do i i gotta sleep outside it's like as a matter of fact when you know someday we've talked about how we're gonna uh we're gonna record the episode in the in the porta potty together uh-huh uh i was going to try to eat like three cloves of that garlic the night before so that when i come in we get locked in, it's just a non-stop onslaught. I just want to make it as torturous as possible. Is it smell and loud or is it just loud? What are we talking here? What's the combination of, is it

forceful and odorous? Smell. Just smell. Just like the worst, most heinous smelling thing. Just roasted garlic. Eat a bunch of roasted garlic tonight and see what happens. Man, speaking of smell, Eric, where's our can of disgusting shit? I don't know.

I will get it for the next office day. Our can of disgusting shit. What a description. Because we should get that on the calendar. Yeah, definitely. For sure. Don't we have to dig a six foot hole too? Should, yeah. It's been Yeah, don't we have to dig a six-foot hole, too? We should, yeah. It's been about a year since the beam hole.

Jackhammer? Yeah, we were going to dig a six-foot hole with a jackhammer, and then we were going to put a USB drive with us talking about it at the bottom of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We'll get all this on the calendars. I never got one of those Falcon signs.

Did you guys get one? No. No, I haven't seen it come through. I'll have to talk with Merch. It's very weird. Yeah, I think Cayman went before. I don't even know it. Well, the Falcons took it, so it's fine.

Oh, yeah, it sold out immediately. Goddamn. Maybe we should have stopped raising our number. Yeah, maybe we could go back and do like a second run of Falcon signs and scrumping signs or something. Because I see people ask for them a lot. That's a good idea. Okay. I'll poke at it, see what's up.

I'm not trying to rush you to the end. I'm giving you your... Your tone. Your over-experience clearance. Yeah. Hey, Gav, how did you feel about the coronation? That's a great question.

Could I be honest with you? Yeah. I just read about it in the news the next day i had no idea it was happening i was fortunate enough to be in london for it uh sitting at it sitting in the uh the admiral's club at uh heathrow yeah apparently all the british people were supposed to do some sort of i don't know what was it they wanted everyone to like what swear fealty to the new king in some way i either way i didn't know, what was it? They wanted everyone to like What? Swear fealty to the new king in some way.

Either way, I didn't know it was happening. I missed it. Did you not swear fealty to your king yet? No. Aren't you required to? I'll get that on the calendar too. You gotta get out of the post office when you're 13, 18 and swear fealty to the king. I'll do it later.

I'll get the next one. Yeah? You can start now. You can prepare. You'll be ready for the next one. Express post. What about the sticks? Have you sent the controller sticks yet? No, I'm waiting for Jeff to put the thing, to give me the thing he wants to send me. Oh, man. I need to get that to you. It's just those video games

I bought for Andrew a year ago. I need to get them to him. It's just those video games I bought for Andrew a year ago. I need to get them to him. All right. I'll tell you what. I'm putting a hard cut off on it. Okay. I'll check my front porch a week from today.

If it's not there, I'm sending it. Let me get COVID clear and then as soon as I'm clear, I'll drive over and drop those games off. All right. Fair play.

All right. This was fun. It was good. I missed you guys. It's good to be back. Oh, man. I missed you guys. Are we doing this again back. Oh, man. I missed you guys. Are we doing this again next week?

I believe so. Gavin, do you think you could do us a favor and come down with COVID between now and then so that we don't feel so you don't feel left out? We don't want you to feel left out. I'll do my best. I appreciate it. Hey, before we leave, I should tell you guys. Guess what I ate for lunch today?

Pastrami? Oh. Yeah, I ate a pastrami sandwich. Pastrami? Yeah i ate a pastrami sandwich pastrami yeah i ordered it and not only did i did i order one i ordered the pastrami sandwich the one that made me throw up oh wow it's been over a year now right yeah and it was fine i you know i i don't think i think that the new one that i eat is better at the other place but uh i'm over like it was fine I didn't have any any icks or anything

the whole time I ate the whole thing yeah so I'm pretty happy I think I've I think I've I've climbed that mountain and where are we on corn dogs oh man

I can't eat any more corn dogs because I maybe one day I said I wasn't gonna no I said no no cravings uh

yeah well there's been some confusion there's a like a asian hot dog place over actually by that new uh hot pot place i told you about and they have some crazy corn dogs that are like like crazy japanese corn dogs that seem pretty interesting but i just don't know i feel like the line gets blurry and i don't want to cross it without realizing it so i've just been staying away but i'm a little bummed becausemed because some of them look kind of neat. That's such a strict rule.

Listen, man. Do they call them corndogs? Yeah, some of them. I got to, look, I got to be very strict with me. Like, this is like if I start wavering on corndogs and I'm like, you know, it's, you know, it's a music festival. Only corndogs in and I'm like, I'd set up a music festival. I'll only eat corndogs at music festivals. This is how I become an alcoholic again.

Suddenly, I'm like, I'll just have one shot of whiskey, and the next thing you know, I'm dead in the ditch somewhere. So I gotta be strong against the corndog urge. That happens with sodas and energy drinks. You're like, I only drink them at the office.

And then we had all of those energy drinks for like face jams so you drank some of all of them and then you're like and now i'm gonna have a red bull and it's like don't do this stop doing this i think what's interesting with jeff though is that when i think of what his code is it's not saluting and no corn dogs like those are the the that is, you're a unique individual. I don't think there's anyone else that those are like the lines. No corn dogs and the saluting. I just don't think a journey

has ever directly started with someone eating a corn dog and ending up in a ditch. Well, listen, slippery slope. Yeah. And also I've been told, I haven't confirmed it myself, but I've been told

by some of the comment leavers that I can salute as of 2008. They changed the rule. So I need to look and see if that's real or not. Because if it is, I'll salute the shit out of that flag. I'd be so fucking excited to be able to do that again. You have no idea.

Oh, God, by the way, I know I just keep rolling, but I just haven't talked to you guys in so long. I ran into the most lovely comment leaver at the Trader Joe's the other day. uh he was working there and we had the nicest little conversation about f face so uh shout out to robert at trader joe's he was a nice guy what did he bring up uh he likes the podcast we did andrew's a thing you know usual stuff yeah usual stuff every conversation with a stranger is uh love the podcast and then a question about Andrew.

Yeah, Andrew's not real though, right? People trying to get behind the curtain on Andrew. Like, I don't know any more than you do, I promise. I love those conversations so much. I do too. Being able to talk with just random people in the world about this Canadian that I know is magic. talk with just random people in the world about this canadian that i know is magic it it really it really is like like when somebody comes up to you on the street and mentions face it really is like saying like a secret handshake it's like saying hey i'm a member of a of a club where we

all speak the same language and we all have the same interest it's like it was like back in the 90s 2000s if you if you like like you could be in into all kinds of stuff right but if you met somebody and they also liked the beastie boys you knew they were like oh they're okay yeah we we can we can like we've got that that's a big enough commonality that i could be okay with this person i feel like you like when you meet somebody and they mentioned that they're a comment lever uh uh, it's like, you just like you instantly all your guards down a little bit and you're like, Oh, okay.

I know this person. Yeah. I've talked about it before, but it immediately eliminates a chance for me to suck at small talk. And we're talking about something that's real and that we both know about. Great. Love it. Well,

should we kill it? I think we should. Yeah. Well, yeah. We're not doing it again next week. No, no. course uh okay well this is that then uh podcast is over this is the the post pleasantries where we tell you that hey uh if you really do like face uh if you like to listen to it uh even with a semblance of uh of enthusiasm, it sure would be lovely

if you would tell some people about it. These kind of podcasts, they live or die based on word of mouth for some reason, but that's just the way it is. My hands are tied. I don't understand it, but I know that if you tell people about F*** Face

and then if they like F*** Face and then they watch F*** Face or listen to F*** Face and then they tell somebody about F*** Face, then sort of of like the last of us seven to ten years from now we'll destroy the world and that's kind of where we're headed so give us all the stars and we'll see you next week and we'll see you at rtx july 7th through 9th rtx austin.com to get tickets come to the face museum wow i saw some people say that the one where we immediately start talking about

alter egos and Errol and stuff is quite a good entry point. I don't know if that's true, but a lot of people said I would pick this one to show to a friend. Yeah, a lot of people

are like, even people I meet, I had to make somebody, I ran into somebody in Italy who was like, oh, what have you been up to? And I go, oh, I do this podcast

and he's like, oh, well, I don't really listen to podcasts. And I was like, you have to promise me you'll listen to it just one episode he's like okay some people if they're on the fence

they don't think they like podcast let them know they do you do like podcast you love them you just don't know it yet Jesus Christ open your fucking ears they're great how do they feel about drafts though how do they feel about the tuxedo we had so many angles you like cookbooks that's what i've been up to

okay bye bye hey guys major league fan jack here with a look at next week's episode of face poochie needs to return to his home planet. How do you spell Jeff? Rise of the robot people. Which side do you sleep on? Cosmic Crisp loves us. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. you