F**kface - Pizza Day Content // Milky for a Week [130]

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Andrew's little pizzas, when are we meeting up, we know nothing about Andrew, Gavin's great photo uses, Strangerhood, how much for a week of milk, appletiser, Andrew cutting his own hair, Crisps Gauntlet soon, deep lore about stuffing, Geoff hates Wal Mart, and Andrew in Austin in February? Sponsored by Hello Tushy http://hellotushy.com/face, Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face, and the Rooster Teeth Store https://bit.ly/Fkface_Holiday22 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the... I didn't like that. Hello and welcome to another episode

of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew Payton and Gavin Free. Go ahead and leave in the failed attempt just so the audience can see a part of the process. We don't get it right 100% of the time, unfortunately. Even though we are professionals with our 10,000 hours, we do occasionally have lackluster intros. This is 130 times we've done this. How are you guys doing?

I'm doing great. Pretty good? Yeah, we're just back to back. How are you guys? Have you guys had pizza? Since I was going to mention that last episode, last time we talked, we did the pizza. We ate pizza. I haven't had pizza.

Haven't had pizza since then. What about you, Gavin? Yes, I did. How did it compare? Did it rank? Was it worse? Really good pizza. That's unfortunate.

I spent literally the rest of that day making little pizzas at my desk. That's all I did. I used all the dough. I made tiny little pizzas all day. It was great. I had a fantastic time. With the seven-month expired dough? With the seven-month expired dough.

Well, you got to consume it. Once it's unfrozen, there's no putting a cork on that seven-month bottle. It's gone. Got to get to it. So does that, I's no putting a cork on that seven-month bottle. It's gone. So does that... I guess you lived. So that's good. Yeah, fine. Zero issues at all.

It's just the yeast died. I didn't. Yeah. Okay. Eric was freaking out that day because I guess we all didn't realize what we were making when he pulled out all the mic equipment. What do you mean? We all didn't... Are you saying you didn't realize and you you mean we all didn't are you saying you didn't realize and

you're saying we all didn't realize didn't jeff was like also was like oh i didn't i don't know that was confusion when you brought out all the xlr cables and real bikes what do you mean i think you were confused is that what you mean there's no way jeff wasn't also confused what did you think was being made i mean i i remember there being a conversation about uh that equipment coming to the episode the between eric and nick do you remember the day before gavin a conversation eric had where he set it up with just so we're all on the same page and we can all create a vision for what this is going to be going into it. This is what's going to happen.

Then we talked about what would happen. And then that happened. I just thought that was our setup for showing you the pizzas. I thought that would be like halfway through the pizza video. But it's also, I guess I didn't realize that was a separate piece like the Cosmic Crisp review. Okay. Ah, I see. I mean, I think we went over that at the time.

But that's fine. I thought we were really. That fine doesn't matter gavin gavin what can i do in the future eric this is not a you problem this is a me problem but i think it was also a jeff problem briefly yeah but if it was i rolled with the punches very quickly. Yeah, I like the way you've posed this where you went, yeah, and then you brought out the equipment and we were all confused. I was sitting at my home going, what? What is happening? A feed that I have to join and record. I felt so much personal vindication in the recording of that when we found out that Emily stopped recording at one point and missed half the pizza eating.

You guys are meant for each other. It is apparently it is easy to hit stop on a phone. Oh, man. How? I don't understand. You can also just look at whether it's filming or not. You don't you don't understand what to do when a microphone comes out. I'm not trusting you. Well, I know what end to talking. I know what, like how- Wow. It's impressive. How many podcasts have you done? 600?

You can confidently say you know what end to speaking to. I just thought it was one video. Okay. I forgot there it was one video. Okay. I forgot there was a separate audio. For some reason, we can't ever just go and do something and just make one piece of content from it. Well, I remember you saying very clearly you only wanted to make one video,

and I think that's all we're making. Yeah, that's all we're making. We're only making one video. No, fool. The audio part where we sit down with all the mics has video. That's why I thought it was going to be in the middle of the video. That was so genuine. That was such genuine annoyance for you.

I don't think I've ever heard you call anyone a fool. No, fool. Fool is underrated. Oh, man. I was not expecting that. No, it was like Gavin has had one fastball his entire career, and he just threw a knuckleball at you and took us all off guard. No need for the icy hot this year.

Gavin brought it verbally. Fool. That is a British-ass insult. So what I'm saying is now it's two videos. No. I think it's just one. It is because we were filming the part where we were showing you. Well, there's video in the audio part, but I don't think it's two videos.

Yeah, just give Nick the video and he'll sync it with the audio and then that's... So when it's on YouTube and there's video of us talking... I see what you're saying. I see, I see. Okay, I see what you're saying i see i see okay i see what you're saying okay i think it's audio with a video component what we ended up with again is an audio product that has a video in some places yeah plus the video of making the pieces so two pieces of content it is yeah we all agree oh next said he synced everything up. It's incredible. I'll tell you what we have.

We have more fucking content. And I, for one, am here for it. I had so much fun making those stupid pizzas with you guys. I am no longer scared of my pizza oven. It was sort of a pizza oven redemption. Emily and I have been talking about making our own dough and making our own pizzas and maybe not even tearing the thing down and just keeping it up and becoming backyard pizza people and that wouldn't have happened if it weren't for last week that was the goal right

and and you even talked about potentially having a future sausage talk where we just make pizzas talk sausage at the pizza table i think it's a great idea i would love to i mean it's a tool at our disposal now yeah like a sausage talk where we actually talk about sausage. We could do that. Is that the premise? Okay. We could get super literal. I kind of hope I notice, Andrew, that it's December now when this comes out. Yeah. Have you been here yet?

No. Never said I would. I just said it would up until November. Been and gone, my friend. Yeah, it is, but what? I can't go in December or January are you blocking me from going I'm not opposed to going I just haven't been what are we meeting up what are we doing it what are we gonna see each other in real life for Christ's sake I don't I don't know I don't know where all this aggression is coming from it's like I called

you to see you here's the deal Andrew We have done 130 episodes now of this podcast without seeing each other. We've all seen each other except for you. I'm not convinced you still are real. I will say I won't need an ocean to sneak when we do see as established. I'm going to be sneaky. Maybe I've been there and you don't even know. Think about that. Can I pose something? Because I was talking to someone sneaky. Maybe I've been there and you don't even know. Think about that. Can I pose something?

Because I was talking to someone about this the other day, about how we haven't seen Andrew in person. I think we're going to get together, and here's where I'm worried. We're going to get together to see Andrew in person, and then Andrew is going to hire someone to be Andrew, and then we're still not going to be getting together with Andrew I feel like we could go to him and then a Craigslist man will show up and be like

hey guys what's up it's me Andrew and it's like no it's not and then he's like wearing a wire yes yeah it's gonna be so I just I really do believe something like that. Like, that's what we're in for. No. So I am worried. I mean, the first hurdle is you're not going to find my door. That's the first problem. It's my door.

Even my door is sneaky. Even where I live is sneaky. That's how sneaky I am. We don't have to find your door if you bring it with you to America. Seems like a lot of work. I typically only travel to carry on. Like, I don't. But I check that. I think I travel with my door how much would that cost i mean people

travel with surfboards and shit right like i always yeah that's true yeah it's probably less inconvenient yeah just strap a handle on it i'm worried that when we when we all meet up we're not even gonna be able to look each other in the eye yeah i don't know what that means what do you mean what are you talking about gonna be weird why is it gonna be weird look i didn't know you had a giant bushy beard until you told me one day you didn't know i had a cat you don't know anything about me that's not my fault i don't think that changes if we see in person you yeah but that's a fair point andrew but But I think you're underestimating Gavin's natural awkwardness. I have trouble looking him in the eyes in person. It's weird for me to see Gavin, and we see each other all the time.

Wow. I can look Eric in the eye. You know what? Did we? Awesome. Man, today has been a fun energy this has been a real weird one these two episodes are really good

it was just it was just nothing it was quiet I can look Eric in the eye I was getting ready to ask a question did Gavin ever give approval on the photo that that he took when we did the Icy Hot thing? Is that going to be shared or not? Do we have a definitive statement on that?

Oh, you wanted to make a version where you couldn't see as much lap and thigh? Well, that's the, you know, I didn't know if you were okay with it. I had a few versions of it. Okay, I'd love to see them. I know this is an audio format, so we won't be too quick. We'll try to describe what we did. So is the the original photo just as a refresher people may have already seen it which i think is fine by the way i do think it's fine too it's just it's a little alarming but so we have a few options that uh if you weren't okay with it gavin that we

could go with we could um the first one i did i thought let's try to remove as much as we can we could um the first one i did i thought let's try to remove as much as we can so i did i did just the face only the face how do you feel about that one somehow worse i think you think it's somehow worse i agree i think it also people could draw draw in what they think is happening in the photo i think that's a great they could yeah great contest for the audience but I also also what I put together gave me vibes of that the season the shining when he chops a hole through the door and shoves very similar thanks for leaving my headphones under that one yeah no problem well listen I'm just I'm throwing things together this isn't a professional operation Gavin we have a few other options that we could go with this one this one Just the knees

Only legs The whole picture you can barely tell what's happening there, yeah Maybe it's like a DIY like you have to stitch it together yourself the last one that I'm gonna show I think this is the most disturbing of all of them personally I think it leaves the most I don't know I guess vulgarity it's just it's uncomfortable it seems like would be, it's the one I would, oh, it's just the same one. I'm getting them all mixed up in my log.

Here we go. This is the right one. So this is everything from the arms down. There's something that just seems bad. See partial arms? It just feels bad. It feels a lot worse than the actual photo is. I think that one actually makes it a worse photo.

Maybe we should use Photoshop to draw around the censored area and do like a content aware fill and see what it comes up with. Do you have Photoshop? I don't. I can tell. I used to. I don't have it on this computer. Afraid I don't have on this computer and afraid I don't either so I

don't know what we'll go with maybe those all be public but I just I wanted to run some options just in case you were I mean I think I'm fine with any any version okay you want I do like the idea of having to put it all together yourself maybe maybe we'll release all those fuck I don't know because the

original the brazzers one's gonna come out first right yeah well that's fine oh man andrew those are so fucking funny i was having fun last night just trying to come up with different options i wanted to see knees want to see face i think we kind of covered things and i'm sure people will be creative in their own ways once the photo went out. Did you see some of the Photoshops people did, Jeff, of you with the door, the awkward door photo you took when you were at the restaurant? There's some great ones of those.

No, no, I never really paid attention to those. I'll see if I can find any of them. I'm sure I probably look super cool in them. You do. It's great. But yeah, that was the photo. Photos I put together for the show. I had one other thing.

I had a strange... What should I talk about? I got two things. Okay. And what should... We'll go with the dollar store. I went to the... So we watched MVP 2 recently.

Yeah. And I was looking at MVP 2 because I was just curious. I thought I should own a copy of it. Oh, really? So I have it in my collection. Real fast, has that come out yet as of the recording of, or as of the release of this episode, Eric?

Fantastic. This will come out the 30th. The 30th. And I think the Monkey Movie, if Nick gets the editing, good to go. That should have been out for a week at this point. Nick, that's right. Oh, okay. I think we're good.

I think we're all lined up. Monkey Movie, yeah. So as of this, we put out a bunch think we're all lined up. Monkey movie, yeah. So as of this, we put out a bunch of Ancelotti content recently. The Survive Black Island Meltdown recap conversation about all the stuff

that wasn't in the show, apparently. The monkey movie. We've recorded the pizza. Probably haven't released that yet. But anyway, just to catch the audience up, make sure everybody's aware of what we've made and where it is.

Continue, Andrew. So I was looking online for copies of it, and I found a VHS one that was sealed. It had this big sticker on the front that said, also, it includes special behind-the-scenes with Bob Burnquist, like a skate segment with him. And I was like, I want to see that. That sounds fantastic.

And so I looked at the DVD. It had even more special features. It has a laugh, not a laugh track, a blooper reel. It has the burn quest thing. So I've been trying to find a copy of it, but I don't think I'm going to be able to go into just like a best buy and

find MVP two on DVD. I felt like my best chance to find it would be like a thrift store type of thing. So I was looking, I was going all over the thrift store. I was like, they had so many fucking DVDs. It took me forever to get through and I didn't find it.

And that was incredibly disappointing. But I think I found something even more obscure, which I bought and I'm posting a photo of it right now. I found a sealed copy of the first season of the Strangerhood in the thrift store I went into. I can't believe they didn't have mvp2 they did have a sealed copy of the stranger hood five dollars great buy as you get happy oh yeah that's yeah i took a photo of it i unsealed it to get a sweet coupon uh so i can mail i can mail in this thing

to buy some sweet merch gotta mail to mail it to Buddha, Texas. Let me grab... If you paid $5 for that DVD, you probably got ripped off. I think we were selling it for like $2 on the site before we discontinued it. Maybe we're still selling it for all I know. I don't think you are. Not at all.

Is that what you... Oh, Lord. That's what Photoshop thought it thought should be oh no photoshop made it way too sexy oh that's uh yeah that's not better yeah well we won't release that one yeah that's uh that's if you want to know what photoshop thinks gavin's middle looks like you download photoshop and do it yourself it's's not great. We're not going to do that for you. So I didn't find MVP2. The other thing, I asked Jeff and Gavin this.

I'm curious if your answer to this has changed, Jeff. I'd love to hear your response, Eric. The idea was if it was decided that you could no longer have tap water running through your house, but you had to replace it with something else, what would you switch it from uh gavin said apple tizer which is a drink i had never heard of jeff at the time you said diet pepsi uh but then brought up a great point of trying to shower with diet pepsi

would be terrible i didn't even think of it in that way i was just thinking of something because to me water is the best beverage it's something it's what i drink the most of it's so convenient it's great so i was curious if you It's so convenient. It's great. So I was curious if you had to flip, what would it be? Do you have an answer, Eric, for this?

Man, I, boy, that's tough. Cause I don't really drink, I don't really drink soda and soda feels like the natural goat. People are gonna be like root beer, which is crazy,

whatever, but I don't really drink soda at all. so I want to say dangerous, but I want to say like beer or something, but then you can't shower. That really threw me for a loop. The shower thing, the shower becomes a problem.

Yeah. And, and like washing your hands, like I could take a shit in to beer, but then washing your hands when you're done, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,

no, it'd be terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Take a shit into beer. Yeah, you could. I mean like yeah no it'd be terrible yeah yeah take a shit into beer yeah you could i mean that would be fine yeah it's yeah i see what you're saying yeah yeah um you think that that was just a fun fact on the side why were you thrown by that for some reason i was just picturing a pint glass so that's disgusting oh no that's terrible fuck i mean i

could i could do that okay let's just go purely on taste. Let's remove all other functionality. I would see... I think I would have to go with beer, and then I would just have to keep waters in the fridge. Okay. What do you... For showering?

No, we just said for taste only. You're an idiot. You're a fucking fool, Gavin. No, but I want to... Along with what Gavin said, let's go the other route. Like, a fucking fool, Gavin. No, but I want to, but along with what Gavin said, let's go the other route. Like, you do have to shower with it. So what is the one liquid

you would want to shower with the most other than water? Like, water's not available. You got to shower. What's the least offensive liquid to shower with? Pineapple juice. Tea tree oil.

What? Tea tree oil? You're going to shower with oil? You're just out with oil? You're a freak. Hey, Gavin. Gavin. Gavin. I think of something that says shampoo sometimes.

You fool. I think it would be iced tea. Unsweetened iced tea. That's the most like water to me. That's a good one. I feel like I could get clean in iced tea. Old tea smells really gammy. Could you do... I mean, none of these are ideal. Could you do

like a coconut water? Is that something? Rubbing alcohol. Rub it. Fuck, Nick, you're nuts. Oh my god. Nick, you're a fucking maniac. Burn your fucking eyeballs out, dude. Yeah, what the fuck? It's not sticky. His whole thing is that it's not sticky and it's clean.

What a maniac. So many drinks have sugar you couldn't use any of those for showering if that's the price to be good at cornhole i don't want to pay um could you do so i'm thinking like coconut water that's something that's water though but it's yeah it's like stick no but it's just's just from a coconut. It's just coconut juice. It's just like the inside of a coconut. Okay. Man, could you? Oh, boy. I don't know.

It's tough. I don't think there's a great answer. It can't have sugar. Gab's right. It's like you can't have anything sugary. Pineapple juice would be terrible. Pineapple juice is so sticky. Oh, the smell.

The smell, though. It'd smell great. It'd smell amazing, yeah. Yeah, it'd have to be something unsweetened. It'd have to be, yeah.ened it'd have to be yeah ice coffee maybe how much would you need if you had to go seven days where so i'm thinking of like oh like replace it with you know what's something that's close to water that being water i'm going the other way now seven days where they just replace all the water coming out of your faucets with whole milk

how much would you have to get paid for that I mean Jeff would just never turn on a tap ever you gotta take a shower you can't go somewhere else to shower you gotta do your daily stuff you tell me I gotta brush my teeth with milk whole milk

it would ruin your life your life would be over $10 million I would be over. $10 million. Really? I would do it for $10 million. You wouldn't do it for $9 million. No, I would. I would.

I would discuss it with Emily. You had $9 million right in front of you and you'd say no. Do you know how fucking white milk is? Do you know how fucking gross milk is? Uh-huh. $9 million. You'd say say no so then what am i doing after that like toweling off am i like washing with a flannel after the milk i can still do that right yeah yeah i mean you can still you know you could do everything else is the same all all your

other you know showering routines and getting clean is the same, but everything is just no more water just for seven days. It's whole milk. And I can't use an alternative. No, no, no, no, no.

It's, it's like if everything you were going to do with water is just replaced with milk. Everything's one to one the same. Just for a week, just seven days. I would do that for like 200 grand, 200 grand for a week.

Easy. Jeff said $10 million. I, well, I, grand 200 grand for a week easy jeff said 10 million dollars i well i i was agreeing with him and then i realized it wasn't for life it was just for a week yeah i gavin also likes milk i did i actively dislike you saying you really wouldn't do nine million for one week of milk i'll tell you what i'm gonna give you guys the friend discount I'll do it for nine million dollars wow so you so you're telling me that if I showed up with eight million dollars right now you would not do it for eight million dollars do you have eight million dollars oh no I'm asking you that it like right now in front of you you would say no to eight million dollars for seven measly days all right well I would do it for $8,000.

Absolutely. Is it $8 million in cash? Yes, in cash. Right to you. Tax-free. Government doesn't know about it. $8 million. Okay, I'll do it for $8 million. Okay, so $7 million. There's no way you would do it. I've given you guys a

20% discount. That's as far down as I can go. It's a week. Seven million dollars. That's a million dollars a day. Yeah, a little bit more than a million dollars a day. Yeah. I'm lactose intolerant.

I would do it for a grand. Let's see how low this would go. One week, only milk comes through the taps. Yeah, two grand. Yeah. Can I go out of town on vacation that week?

No, no, no, no. You're go out of town on vacation that week? No, no, no, no, no. You're at home. It's a normal week. Everything's the same. It's regular. I mean, I had a week a couple of years ago. My water was off for like a week and I had no power for four days. It's just going to be like that.

It's going to be shitty for a week. No, it's going to be milky for a week. It is going to be milky for a week. So you like, you like, Gavin, you love to make pasta, as you say, right? You fucking make pasta all the time. So you would have to boil your noodles in milk. I probably wouldn't make that that week. I probably have a lot of milk-based food.

Smoothies? You would just eat cereal for seven days. I would have to eat cereal for seven days. Hot chocolate? I'd live off of hot chocolate. Yeah. Cappuccinos? Hot chocolate's good once.

You wouldn't want it. You wouldn't want two hot chocolates in the same day. To rephrase this question, Jeff would be unwilling to only drink hot chocolate for a week for $8 million. That would be the minimum amount. That's the most absurd thing. I somehow ignored the seven days part the first time we were thinking

about this. I heard it, but it just didn't go in. This sounds great. I'll do it for $8 million. Not for $7 million? If you guys want to put that together... How would you not do that for a grand a day? How would you not do that for $7,000? Here's how it works, Gav, with you guys.

I gotta take a stand at some point, because if I do it for $7,000, I'll do it for $6,000. And if I do it for $6,000, I'll do it for $5,000. And the next thing you know, the next thing you know, a week from now, I'm paying you guys to have my fucking all of my water...

Sorry, I'm choking to death. I'm paying to have all my water replaced with milk for a week, and somehow I'm paying for it. No. $8 million. You should just have a glass of milk. I'm paying to have all my water replaced with milk for a week and somehow I'm paying for it. No, $8 million firm. If you're choking, you should just have a glass of milk. I'm going to have a glass of Diet Dr. Pepper, which I would replace

all of my tap water with for 18 bucks. You're bumping Pepsi. Interesting. Well, I have, because of this conversation, I'd never heard of Appletizer. I ordered Appletizer one of the weirdest

online store experiences I've ever had have you ever had an online store try to haggle with you no so I eBay yeah but that's like a different different thing this was like just a website that sold imported goods and so I had to find because they don't make

this in anywhere outside of Europe I'm assuming in like South Africa I think i bought it from a south african imported store and so i get it they do i got it my cart i put two in and i went to check out put in all my information went to cash out is the last button address all that hit clear then it's a wait wait wait wait wait wait wait how would you like one more can eight percent off offer you eight percent off on this can right now you add one more to your cart before you finalize it i was like this is so weird i've ever had this happen it had a timer on it i was on like a shot clock to like figure out if i wanted one more cane or not and uh i was like i don't know maybe i like i love apple drinks maybe i do want three eight percent off i don't know. Maybe I like I love Apple drinks. Maybe I do want three 8% off. I don't.

I'm going to say no. I'm going to pass on this. So I said, no, thank you. And then another screen popped up and said, OK, we understand. How about 15% off? Can we entice you to buy it? I've never. We went through two screens.

I had a 15% discount. I wanted to take the can at that point, but I needed to see how far we could go. Like, could I get the 30% by just constantly saying no? And so I did it again and it just ended. It was like, okay, well, your transaction's done. I was very sad, but they did offer me a 20% off coupon on my next order. It was the most bizarre online shopping experience

I think I've ever had. I love it when people put timers on that shit, even though it's for everyone, for all time. Do you think you could then go use that 20% discount on more Appletini and another purchase, and then they'll also offer you

the 8% and 15% discount? So you get a 15% discount on top of a 20% discount? That's a great question. And get rewarded with a new 20% discount for your efforts? I'm going to try doing that. You should.

Actually, I'm not going to do that on my computer because it's slow. I don't want to fuck up the recording. Yeah, please. Do it on my phone. I'm going to try this. It's been in my fridge for two weeks. I've been curious about it. I want to see what this is.

I haven't had it since I was young, but I think it's just a sparkling apple. Yeah, can you describe it? Can you describe it for us, Gavin? I don't know. I don't understand what Appletizer is. It's just like a sparkly apple drink. Appletizer is a nice sparkling apple drink, and if your grandparents offer it to you,

they'll probably call it Appletize for some reason. That's all that's happened in my experience. But I remember liking it. Delicious. Okay. I said that it sounds exactly like Martinelli's. Just foreign Martinelli's, which I am a fan of. Are you going to show us?

Yeah, I'm going to. Oh, that was good. Gavin, where do you think apple ties was invented? Oh, I'd say the UK. Oh, you'd be wrong. But you guys do think you're the center of? Oh, I'd say the UK. You'd be wrong, but you guys do think you're the center of the universe, so that makes sense. It was created in 1966 in

the Western Cape of South Africa. So it is actually a South African thing. Yeah. That's cool. Is this fizzy? Should be. Oh my god. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Is this fizzy? Should be. Okay. Oh, my. Come on.

Oh, come on. Come on. You pour it in your lung? Why would you? What the fuck is this? I thought I could do the chug. I thought I was going to surprise you both with the chug. It did not work. You chugged. You chuggedged you went all in again yeah i'm

i'm gonna pour the whole thing down my god i don't i don't feel like i actually know how it tasted i'm halfway through no shit let's try this you chugged on it oh wow i've got appetizer facts whenever we're past this this kind of sucks oh this Oh. This is not... I mean, it's not like something I would order, but I was saying if I had to have that instead of water, I would probably go with that flavor. I enjoy it. It's just carbonated apple juice, right? Yeah.

It's lovely. But imagine it now, instead of choking on it, imagine it now as like a water substitute if you had to pick one. I definitely prefer the Martinelli's. Could you shower in it, Andrew? Or would it be really, really sticky?

Oh, I imagine it's a lot of sugar. Is it very sweet? Uh, it's definitely tart. Yeah. It's, it's a sourness to it.

Um, yeah, I could shower in this. It would be very sneaky. I think I would shave my head though. If I was going to do the shower thing, I feel like any hair, the amount of,

you remove as much hair as possible. shave my head though if i was gonna do the shower thing i feel like any hair the amount of you remove as much hair as possible imagine you're walking down the street and a bird poops all over your arm are you just gonna pat it off with a dry napkin no you'd wash it off with water so why are we treating our buttholes any differently? Stop smearing your business around with toilet paper and start washing with water with the Hello Tushy Bidet. Hello Tushy Bidets are a fantastic product. They're so easy to set up. Elevates your bathroom no matter what it is. This is fantastic.

So stop spreading your business around your butthole with toilet paper. Start washing with Hello Tushy Bidets. The Hello Tushy Bidet attachment washes your bum with fresh water for a way better clean than toilet paper. Simply spray and pat dry. It attaches to your existing toilet, no electrician or plumber needed. Installs in less than 8 minutes. Cuts down your TP use by 80%, saving money and paper waste.

Make the restroom your best room with the complete Tushy system, including the Tushy bidet attachment, ottoman, and toilet brush. Hello TUSHY has cleaned over 1 million happy bumps. Join them and take care of your business the cleaner way. We want all of our listeners to have clean bumps. Visit hellotushy.com to get 10% off plus free shipping right now. Tag us and at hellotushy on social media so we can celebrate your clean bum with you. That's HelloTushy.com slash face for 10% off.

We're getting into the holiday season. It's a great time to buy gifts, and there's no better place to do it than the Rooster Teeth store. No matter what your fandom is, as far as Rooster Teeth goes, they probably have a bundle for you, such as the Achievement Hunter Fall Bundle. You layer up a new Achievement Hunter Fall Collection and save. Pick out any

two pieces from the collection and get a third for free with code AHB2G1 at checkout, as well as the Face Jam Barbecue Bundle. Get the infamous Face Jam Apron and Spatula as seen in Trucked Up for just $34.93 at checkout with code FJBUNDLE at checkout. Most importantly, though, is there's plenty of wonderful F***face merch, including the Anal Passage t-shirt, which at one point y'all made the number one selling shirt on the store for 2022. Just absurd. I love it. It is unfortunately dropped down to two.

So I would, if you're looking at getting some face merch before December 14th, which is the cutout to receive it at Christmas, consider the anal passage. But we all got, we got all sorts of things that you could possibly enjoy. Ridiculous shirts. Thank you so much for supporting our show and supporting the content in general.

I hope you're having a wonderful time over these holiday festivities. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. There's so many times in life when you're going through an issue, whether it be personal or work, whatever it is, just having a user manual would make it so much easier. But unfortunately, life doesn't come with a user manual. So when it's not working for you, it's normal to feel stuck.

Navigating any of life's challenges can make you feel unsure, whether it's a career change, a new relationship, or becoming a parent. Therapists are trained to help you figure out the cause of challenging emotions and learn productive coping skills, which makes therapy the closest thing to a guided tour of the complex engine called you. BetterHelp has connected over 3 million people with licensed therapists, is convenient and accessible anywhere, 100% online. Therapy is a wonderful thing, something I'd recommend to anyone. I've talked about before how much it has helped me. So if you're somebody who's going through something,

I'd highly recommend it, even if you're not necessarily. It's just a really healthy process to go through. As the world's largest therapy service, BetterHelp has matched 3 million people with professionally licensed and vetted therapists available 100% online, plus it's affordable. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to match with a therapist. If things aren't clicking, you can easily switch to a new therapist anytime. It couldn't be simpler. No waiting rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com

slash face. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash face. Do you have hair right now? I do, yeah. How much hair do you have? Several. Several. Several pieces of hair. Do you have long hair?

Parts of it are. what the fuck is that do you have a mohawk or something no it's different i've some areas of my hair longer than other areas it's kind of annoying do you have like a cool shag haircut or something like well it's just i got a part of my hair that's longer than the other parts and i keep trimming that part because i'm not ready for a full haircut yet but the other the one part of it is too long. You're not seeing your guy? I'm seeing my guy. I want to see the guy but I don't you know I'm trying to space out my haircuts a little bit so I'm trimming. Are you cutting your own hair? Well I'm cutting part of my own hair. Most of my hair is not touching. Okay so the answer to my question is yes. So the answer is yes you are cutting your own. Yeah, because it's in front of my face and it gets in my eyes. So you've just cut a hole in the front of your hair that you can see through, but the rest is long. Well, I chop off the part that's longer and then I think it grows faster than the other parts because the other parts I don't feel like I need cut, but that part is an annoyance, so I cut it. And eventually it will all sync up again and we'll be good.

but that part is an annoyance, so I cut it. And eventually, it will all sync up again, and we'll be good. Just go get a haircut. No, I don't want to. That seems like an annoyance. I don't need it yet. I'm happy with the length of my... 95% of my hair, I'm happy with the length of.

This is 5%. So you've just cut... That's exactly, Jeff a hundred percent bruce valanche in my head exactly what i thought a hundred percent i was gonna ask you before you sent that i was gonna say do you think andrew has a bruce valanche haircut jeff yes you sent the picture how accurate is that andrew um yeah it's Um, yeah, it's there. I mean, you wouldn't say I would show up as like a second cousin

if this was Ancestry.com on that hair. It's not the same, but they're definitely related. They're in the same ballpark. They're close. Is that why you're not coming here yet because you're waiting until after your haircut no

absolutely not I haven't been invited if we invited you today and we booked you a plane ticket for next week would you get a haircut before you came or would you just roll with what you have I'd have to see the availability of my guy you'd be interested in getting a haircut, though.

You'd consider it. I would consider it, yeah. When is this flight? It's next Wednesday. Wednesday? I don't know if he's open on weekends, like Sumias? I'd have to leave on Tuesday just to get to Vancouver. That's true.

Yeah, now I think I think at this point I wouldn't get to Vancouver. That's true. That's a lot of time. Yeah. Now, I think at this point, I wouldn't get a haircut off this conversation. That's where I would stand. Sorry. I had a burp that was hitting me every inch of the way up. It was like a pinball. It was just bouncing left and right up the throat. I was trying to bob and weave it out of my body.

That was terrible. So, apple tie is out of 10? Out of 10? Probably like a 5.5. Okay, but what about as a water substitute in all your faucets? I'd rather have whole milk than just make chocolate milk all week.

Would it taste better if it was made out of a Cosmic Crisp apple? Absolutely. Okay. Should we carbonate our Cosmic Crisp apple juice? Yes. Yes, I think we should. Should we?

How hard is it to make your own apple juice? That's too gross. You just press apples out. Right, yeah, right. We do that. Then maybe sieve it. Then maybe put it in a soda stream. I thought you wanted Jeff to use the apple

that's been in his fridge for almost a year and to put that in a cup and then like soda stream the cup. I thought that's what you meant by that. Apple is poison. I will touch it to my tongue, but that's about as far as we're going to get with it. And I think I still have a couple of months to go on that. I'm not sure. I have an answer for your apple ties thing, though.

Yeah. Granddad. In 1979, the-cola company purchased 50 stake in apple tizer and i think that's when it was brought over to the uk somewhere between like 69 and 79 uh then they launched red and white grape tizer uh but then it had to be relaunched in the uk as apple ties due to complaints of the owners of the Tizer brand of soft drink, which I guess already existed in the UK. So it's actually called Apple Ties?

Well, the saga's not over. So it was actually called Apple Ties in the UK until 2001, after lengthy negotiations, the makers of Tizer allowed the R to be added to UK branding again. So then they reclaimed the name in 2001 and were then able to rebrand it

as Apple Tizer. That explains so much about my childhood. There you go. Because I could never figure out why everyone was calling it Apple Tize when it had an R on it.

Because until 2001, they were forced to call it Apple Tize. Even though probably in South Africa and apparently it's a big export of Japan and also Spain. That's phenomenal.

There it was probably Tizer the whole time. Yeah, there you go. That's your answer. Why didn't every little copyright issue, they should have just taken off the last letter? Well, you know how Star Fox in the UK is called Star Wing? Should have just been called Starfo.

Starfo. Yeah. Have you ever had Tizer before? Do you know what that is? T-I-Z-E-R? I don't know. What's in it? It is a red-colored,

citrus-flavored soft drink bottled in Cumbernauld and sold in the United Kingdom. The name originally comes from the phrase Tizer the Appetizer. It was launched in 1924 when it was

known as a pickup appetizer. Whatever the fuck that means. In 2007, the company stopped using Ed the Head as the mascot. You don't remember Ed the Head in England? I feel like I've heard the name. I feel like Ed the Head is a wrestler Eric would know a lot about

in a car at opening stream he'd have all the facts and ed the head ed the head tizer oh weird it looks like it's it's more like a max headroom than anything else i've never seen this before but it looks like something that came out in 1994 with this guy's face it It looks like it's the most like, what's up, Gen X kind of look to a can. It's really something. That's fantastic. Let me fucking...

Too powerful? Yeah, it was too powerful for the fucking internet. Eric was going to buy us... Oh, I'm sorry. Were you saying something about me? Oh, that's interesting. You said that you were going to get a Slash, right? Yeah, and finance still will not clear my card

to buy Nitro for this server. All right. You can tell it's Tizer time when your eyes are shut. What? That's a fucking... What? Hold on. Add the head.

Oh, it just took me to Iron Maiden. Is that an Elton John looking man it looks like you both have a photo of? I think he's meant to look like Elton John. I don't think it is actually Elton John. No, it's definitely not Elton John. You can tell it's Tizer when your eyes are shut. Whatever the fuck that means.

I guess it's a distinctive taste. Yeah, it's like so good you gotta close your eyes to drink it. Interesting. No, I don't think I've ever had that. We need to get... We need to be on a mission to get tizer probably you can find buy it on amazon right now t i think it's about time we do our crisp gauntlet crisp gauntlet what do you mean by that oh yeah okay yeah chips crisps i'd ask you okay jeff yeah just it just reminds me of

something i wrote down uh that i wanted to talk to you guys about yeah i want to hear your notes we're 40 minutes into this we got to go through your notes i had a dream i had a dream idea and i don't know if it's good or not well first off uh here's my notes. Okay. Fuck Walmart. VCK mousepad update. I wanted to hear if Gavin started using it yet and what that's like. I was going to talk about weird sports and that idea you and I had. Maybe, Andrew, but we can hold that off for whenever.

Oh, yeah. So the dream idea I had was we should... I like how the community makes these albums and how I just think that's so pure, like really cool and creative. And I was trying to think of other like creative ways that we could create content together or create like something together. And I was thinking about when I was in the army early on in the army, uh, on holidays when soldiers were too poor to go home, we would all like get together in the army uh on holidays when soldiers were too poor to go home we would all like get

together in the common area of the barracks or whatever and everybody would have like one recipe that was like their family recipe and we'd make like a thanksgiving dinner for all the like wayward people that didn't have the money to go home to see their families or in some cases just didn't have family to go home to um and you'd have like kind of like a potluck thanksgiving dinner and i know thanksgiving is a pretty American thing, which is why I'm on the fence about talking about it. I know you guys have a Thanksgiving in Canada, Andrew, but it's different.

And then Gavin, the whole point of Thanksgiving is that we were saying thanks for not being England anymore. So I imagine you people probably don't celebrate it as much. Fourth of July, also not a huge one for us. Yeah. I cannot find Tizer on Amazon, so we're going to have to do some work to get to Tizer. But I had this idea of maybe everybody,

we could put together a community-sourced cookbook where everybody submits their Thanksgiving ideas for, like, oh, there's my family's cranberry recipe or whatever. And I think we could call it Deep Lore About Stuffing. Oh! I love it. That's fantastic. That's my idea.

Deep lore. Oh, I hope there's no stuffing recipes in it. That's even better. Or just, it's just stuffing recipes. Or it's just stuffing. Yeah, it's either or. There's no middle. I was trying to figure out how to work this into a bit.

And my other idea was we all come up with five stuffing recipes and then we throw them into a hat. And then everybody pulls one and you have to make that stuffing recipe and it can't be your own. And then we have to make each other's stuffing recipes. And then, you know, I don't know. Then we all eat them and see who we like the best. Do we just eat the stuffing or do we eat them as a part of a meal? I don't know.

I think it's up for debate. I'm more into the name Deep Lore About Stuffing. That was the dream part. That was the part that I woke up and I went, I just came up with the best name ever for content in my dream

and I woke up with Deep Lore About Stuffing. Yeah. So do we want to do this the next time we record? Is that our Deep Lore About Stuffing? Because it'll be around Thanksgiving. It'll be our Thanksgiving episode.

I think if everybody went home, because what, we're not going to record next week and we're probably not going to record the following week, but we may on an off day. But at a minimum, we have a week or so

that we could all just come up with a stuffing recipe. It doesn't have to be, you don't have to invent it. Just come up, you know, figure it, like talk to your family, see if they have a family stuffing recipe or just make your own up or find one and i don't know better homes and gardens or whatever that you like uh but it's it's an idea i don't

know i would like to do it i think it's a great idea we don't even necessarily need to like obviously be made by the time but we could talk about eating the stuffings yeah it just seems and it seems like a fun thing that they could do. It's not like a product we'd sell or anything. No. Maybe a channel on the Discord server where everybody just shares their holiday recipes or something. Deep lore about stuffing. Which, by the way,

you guys responded way more positively to the name than Emily did. It's a great name. She was like, okay. Oh, it's fantastic. I'm excited. excited i'm gonna look into stuff as soon as we're done recording i'm going into stuffing books i feel like stuffing is one of those things that everybody loves but you just but you don't think about it just shows up it's like oh yeah there's a stuffing uh i just feel like there's probably a lot of a lot of room for

like some real stuffing creativity i think so and it kind of goes back to the roots i think unlike other previous uh invent your own uh food related item we're all clear on what a stuffing is there'll be no disputes in that regard yeah i think this will go great like here's what and some people call it dress And some people call it dressings. Some people call it stuffing. At its most basic level, it's just... Dressing. Because Gavin is not American, I know. Well, we have stuffing in Christmas. Oh, you do?

You do. Okay, cool. Because it just looks like... Goddamn, everything is too powerful. I can't even show a picture of fucking stovetop stuffing. Do you know how much Nitro is, by the way? Three bucks a month. Eric can't get approved for three bucks.

Listen, it's not Eric. Eric's trying. Just some sort of a credit card snafu. Three bucks a month. I would fucking personally pay three bucks a month to be able to send stovetop stuff. I'd have milk coming out of my taps for a week just to get nitro.

So anyway, that's my my idea uh for like a fun little holiday thing we could do um and then my only other note was just fuck walmart dude just fucking fuck walmart hey you've been to walmart recently i'm not a walmart fan but i go there from time to time because they sell cards you know and so sometimes you get lucky and get a pack of prism uh or like a blaster or prism uh and then during the uh the whole alphabet thing uh Walmart they just have a lot of variety right and so I was going to Walmart that's where I got like the utz chip or the utz cheese balls and then the pizza and the uddy uddies and all that stuff stuff. And so I've been like going to Walmart lately. And I remembered why I stopped going to Walmart.

I can't fucking stand any store on earth that treats 100% of their customers like criminals. It's fucking bullshit that I can walk in and pick up a 24-pack of Diet Dr. Pepper and then go to a checkout where I'm six feet away from a lady who's standing at the exit who's watching me buy one 24-pack of Diet Dr. Pepper. I know she's watching me because we're making eye contact. And then I pay for it. And then they give me a fucking paper receipt, which is...

I don't know why we still need those. And then I have to walk up to that lady. And if I try to walk out past her, she puts her hands out and stops me and looks at the receipt and then studies it slowly and then looks at the 24 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper and then looks at it again and then decides I'm cleared. Like she's like, okay, you're clear to go.

And I understand that it's like, it's a job and people need to do the job and we need to have jobs for people. And I'm sure, you know, it's, I appreciate that it's a job, and people need to do the job, and we need to have jobs for people. And I'm sure, you know, I appreciate that she's doing it. But fucking, like, have some common sense here. You watched me buy the goddamn Diet Dr. Pepper a foot and a half away from you. Like, you could probably smell my cologne were so close. Like, don't make me go through.

Like, I'm trying to leave i'm trying to sneak out of fort knox with a gold bar jesus fucking christ it's diet dr pepper it's not even i'm holding it in my hand it's not even in a bag because it's one thing why do we have to pour over the fucking paper like she's grading a test so you went in you you grabbed the thing of diet dr pepper you bought the diet dr pepper and then you left that's the only item yes it's so that's go to any walmart and buy anything come on test what's her strain they treat you like they treat you like a goddamn criminal well no the it's a strange implication because you have one item and you can see that you only

have one item so if you're looking at the receipt if you stole something it wouldn't be there it's almost like she was validating it was like she was shocked that you came in only for dr pepper you must have attempted to buy something else and you have left it behind is it because people who steal are more likely to buy just a single item to warrant just like a trip through the checkout it's what it is is they don't trust their customers and they treat their customers like didn't fries you still make you they make you verify that you bought the thing before you can leave like you're going through fucking security like they're gonna like they're gonna like there's a rope and they have to like what

they very go like up checks out and they open the rope and let you leave it's fucking stupid and fries did it too and guess what there ain't any fries around anymore oh i loved fries i we at waitrose the supermarket i worked at we were told never to like intercept thieves we just weren't allowed to like interact with them you i guess more likely to get in trouble and sued if you like injure them trying to get stuff off them and uh a lot of the a lot of the customers knew this like some people would just walk in and just like grab a bottle of vodka and just hold it over their head as they walked out and just be like, taking it. And we would just have to be like, we didn't have to like get them much earlier, like intimidate

them. They'd have to like send managers to stand near them. But if they managed to somehow get like passed out of their aisle, they would just openly steal and the police wouldn't ever come. And it'd be like, okay. Like it was, it i don't know that's funny i get it was kind of impressive i get that theft is a problem and that the the store has to protect themselves but you can't assuming that every single person who buys something in their store from the age of five to 85 is a hardened criminal who you have to verify, uh, their purchases a hundred percent of the time. It's just, it's not a way to do business.

And I, and it reminds me why I stopped. I stopped going to Walmart because of this, because I got into a fucking fight with a security guard when I was 19 years old, because I had the audacity to buy a record player. And the guy, and the guy, like, I almost got into a physical altercation with the guy and he fucking threatened me because he's just like standing and I get it I was 19 I was I was this 19 year old like goofy punk rock

kid I looked like a criminal which is why I had a little bit of patience but the guy's like standing at the receipt and he's looking at the record player and I'm like if you're having trouble reading it I can help you with any of the harder words and he like scowls at me and I'm like no seriously it seems like you're having some issues here, I can help you with any of the harder words. And he like scowls at me and I'm like, no, seriously, it seems like you're having some issues here. Just let me point out what you don't get and I'll tell you.

And then he like yelled at me and then I yelled at him and then like somebody else had to get involved. It was a whole thing. And I was just like, fuck it. I'm not going back to Walmart ever again. And I stayed pretty true to that for about 20 years. And now I'm wishing I had, I stuck to my ground because they're still doing the same bullshit.

They were doing it in 1995 and they're doing it in 2022 and I hate it. I want to go and see if it's a you thing. I don't remember the last time I was in a Walmart. It must have been five years ago or something. But I want to go and buy something and see if I get stopped. Yeah, I don't think I've ever been stopped, but it's a Canadian thing. They're the greeters famously.

Yeah, they got greeters. Love the greeters. Greeters are great. Love the greeters. They welcome you into the store and then they say fuckers love the greeters greeters are great love the greeters I don't think I've ever been checked they welcome you into the store and then they say fuck you on the way out it's like welcome to Walmart

have a great day shopping and on the way out they're like hey fuck you you criminal don't come back so what am I buying just a 24 pack of drink or something

buy a buy a 24 pack buy a 12 pack buy I don't give a shit buy anything buy a candy bar and then watch them treat you like you're like you're trying to fucking rob a liquor store now you seem to be against the paper receipt I'm a big fan of the paper receipt personally

because sometimes I'm gonna be honest I feel like I if I go into a store right let's say I go into a drug store and I buy a 500 milliliter bottle of soda I then go into a drugstore and I buy a 500ml bottle of soda. I then go into a grocery store. If I don't have a receipt for that bottle, I feel like I'm living dangerously. I feel like everyone's going to assume that I'm stealing it from that store. Why are you bringing new merchandise into

stores? Sometimes you chain your stores, don't you? Yeah. I would just leave it in the car, I guess. No, they're right next to each other i'm not going to go all the way back to the car to put one bottle in the car and then go back in and get groceries like i might go into one place because they have uh nerds gummies is something that is not everywhere very important essential item don't just mean like handheld things that even if they don't have in their inventory i just feel like oh this looks i feel

like i'm being sneaky i just feel like most stores have a camera so you can they can see you walking in with it yeah yeah but like who is that person that just feels like a lot of people having to have a talk over something like it's not actually a concern like nobody's ever gonna stop me i don't think but it's just in my head i'm always like oh and that's why you're a receipt guy that's why i'm a receipt guy. I like having the thing. But this could also be influenced by the fact I had those shorts that would set off the alarm

whenever I'd go in. I actually completely understand that reasoning. I think that makes total sense, Andrew. I'll say that in the way I frequent stores, that never comes up. Very, very rarely comes up. But I'm a big fan of the no receipt button.

Yeah, that's great. Give me much rather not i would just much rather not print more paper into the world well you're lucky you had that receipt jeff because i believe their policy is if you don't and you go there you have to do a lie detector test right outside the door right in the front if they can't check that dude it's a way more extensive process that's why i keep a penny in my shoe at all times just in case i have to do an impromptu lie detector i don't know if you know this but if you like put a penny under your big toe and focus on it supposedly you can pass any lie detector oh i always heard it was like a pin that like you had to do something to like i've never heard the penny yeah i've heard like a penny like you just like focus on the penny and

like touch it with your foot and like i don't know i don't know why but that's a fascinating what a weird concept of like having a device that could tell when someone's lying well apparently it doesn't work very fucking well because they're all inadmissible in all courts yes could you imagine having to rely on a playstation to prove your innocence like just as like the idea of like a piece of tech being the thing like an absurd idea it shouldn't ever be used as an only metric especially considering you're not even really relying on the machine as much as how somebody interprets

a bunch of squiggly lines on a machine I don't know these lines they they go up and then they go down and that tells me you're lying it's like what other direction do they go well they only go up and then they go down. And that tells me you're lying. It's like, what other direction do they go? Well, they only go up and down. Do they ever go just flat?

No, no, they don't do that. They always go up and down. So they're going up and down. But I'm lying. But they're going up and down. And he's not lying. And they're like, yeah, totally. Can you imagine if they designed it so up and down meant you were telling the truth?

Like the machines as the baseline are constantly going up and down? Yeah, what's the baseline? How do they know a machine is working? What do they hook up to? They ask you some questions, like some basic, like, what's your name? What color is this? I don't know. Wouldn't you just lie about those baseline questions just to throw the whole

thing out of whack? You could, I guess theoretically, but I don't know. I've never taken a polygraph before i haven't either i feel like i've only seen it in crime shows and they don't really go into the specifics of how that works like an a and e middle of the day murder mystery type show they always have the scene where it's like a a montage of what it looks like but you never see anyone actually use it it's just weird it's a weird device. Hey, as we're wrapping up, and I realize because we're recording this a bit in advance because of vacations and

holidays and stuff, do you guys think Eric is good at Frisbee yet? I bet we've already filmed him throw. So probably. He's probably better today than he was before the previous episode. Why don't we fly Andrew in for the Winter Olympics?

Okay. I need time. You need time? If I'm going to compete, I need time. To get a haircut? To train, yeah. No, to train,

I got to get my darts down. If I'm representing my country, I take that very seriously, Eric. Okay? I need to practice some cornhole. We've got three countries. I need darts. My darts average is terrible,

is my belief. I've got zero dart confidence yeah but the canada can't postpone the olympics when the olympics that is true that is true oh you watch it you watch it right now it's happening will you give me the date and then if you want to enter your country yeah but the olympics also don't say they're happening next week, Gavin. There's four years. You need to wait four years? You have time to train. Honestly, Andrew would make it last four years. If he could not come here for four years, that's what we'd be waiting on. Okay, okay.

Well, Andrew, how much time do you need so that we can put this on the books and get the flights worked out? How much time do you need to prepare to get ready for the F*** Face Olympics? I will say it's different on home turf. Which I gotta say. Last I heard, crabbing. You're coming to crabbing at some point. I'm coming crabbing for a bachelor party. I'm not coming crabby.

I'll probably be crabby. I'm not coming crabbing to do the Olympics. Those are two different trips. Could crabbing be an Olympic event? Maybe. What if you had to be in Austin on the 15th of December? No. No, I can't do that.

It's over a month away. I can't do that. How about February? What can't you do about it? It's my mom's birthday, December 15th. Oh, shit. How about mid-February? Because I'm busy in a lot of January.

How about mid-February? Can you come in February? Mid-February? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I have no plans on mid-February. Can you come in February? Yeah, I have no plans on mid-February. Let's just put it on the book. Hang on. That wasn't a yes.

That was I have no plans in February. Andrew, can you commit to coming in February? I'm just trying to remember everything Gavin says when he's scheduling anything at this show. Yeah, I'll just say yes and then I'll say no as soon as we're done. Yes.

You are... Doesn't it suck, Gavin? Isn't it annoying? But I was actually at Monkey Movie. I was actually at Pizza Making. Yeah, I'll be in the Olympics. I didn't say maybe in, you know, next quarter. It was like a week away.

I'll be in the Olympics. You guys are going to hold the Olympics. You're like, Andrew never showed. Then you're going to realize all the fucking gold medals are gone. Sneaky Andrew coming in. And that's been not pulling money taped to my back. Okay. It's going to cut to me in the plane like MVP.

I'm just sitting there with nine medals around me. We have until February to figure out what the Olympics are. I feel like they definitely have axe throwing. They definitely have cornhole. They definitely have darts. They definitely have frisbee distance. The frisbee put. All these sound miserable to play and win it, by the way.

Yeah. Well, you know. It depends on which week in February it is. It's either going to be 70 or 30. True. We'll go for late February. We should be fine. And then we can, so we can work on any more. Well, this gives us time to get medals made

for all the events and then an overall medal. This gives us time to get uniforms worked out. This is good. I think pushing it to February, not even pushing it to February, just settling on February allows us some time to do some legitimate planning.

I like it. But we are committing to doing... How often do the F*** Face Olympics happen? Which, by the way, I was shitting on the name F*** Face last episode. Saying F*** Face Olympics is the funniest thing in the world to me. So I'm back on board with the name of our podcast. I think we can decide that after. Every four years?

That seems like too infrequent for a podcast what if what if we did every three years because there's an olympics every two every other time andrew gets a haircut that's too often how about every other how about every year i think i think once every year is too no i think once i think once a year is good because you can do winter and then you can no i agree it's too now what about remember how often the freaking minecraft fishing jamboree comes around it'll be that it'll be like oh how's it already the fishing jamboree again how about every 20 months now i will say that what we do for face jam is we have something called jams giving which is just like thanksgiving except it's just whatever we say it is so it just it's a lot looser. It's just something to think

about. Are you competing with deep lore about stuffing? No. This Jamsgiving is, what, a year old at this point. So, it sounds like you're competing with Jamsgiving. I'm just saying. I'm just putting this out there that we've established that you just make it

whenever you want it to be. If Jamsgiving and deepLoreAboutStuffing are competing, I know which one's winning on the name alone right now. How do these podcasts cover so much of the same ground? It's almost as if people aren't that interesting or complicated.

But okay. It sounds like we're good. It sounds like we're good for February and then we'll work out the logistics later. That's great. And if anybody has any like new competitions they want to submit, I feel like we should probably have a good seven or eight. If we can come up with them.

I bet I can stick some monopoly money to Andrew's door by the end of the year. No way. The end of this year or the end of next year? The end of this year. So you're going to go up to Nanaimo covertly sometime in the next month and a half and stick Monopoly

money on Andrew's door? With me not noticing? That's how sneaky I am. With me not noticing i bet you'll text me a picture of it and i'll already be back on my couch in austin okay deal there's no way that you do this no no zero percent chance i'm gonna catch oh man you won't catch me while you're watching your door no i just i don't know i'll fucking kevin mccallister it i'm gonna step into a trap there's gonna be a fucking

paint can that swings by I'm gonna grab the handle and there'll be a pee burn into my hand Yeah I'm excited Okay You're on, I don't even know what the stakes are for this Stakes

Somebody has to buy a steak, has to buy the steak dinner. The problem is, I don't know where Gavin lives, so I'm at a disadvantage because I was going to counter back and say

I'd do the same for you. I don't know where you live. I live in Austin. Great. Hey, Andrew? Yeah. I can help you out there. Okay.

Okay, we'll figure it out. I mean, I don't know where Gavin lives either, but I can figure it out. Yeah, no, you know, you at least could patrol the streets and look for... I got a better shot

at it than you do. I know what his trash can looks like. I'll send you photos. How about your trash can? Do you think, Andrew, do you think you could get a bag of cucumbers

on his front porch without him knowing or seeing it on any camera, without there being any evidence of it happening? I will get a bag of cucumbers there, and I'm taking your trash can again. You're going to have to order another one. Oh, man. I'm so excited to meet up eventually.

I'm going to really be pushing for it. Well, it's happening in February. That's still so far away. I always get excited about November. Dude, February is not far away. It's going to go so fast. We're going to have... You're going to be so busy with the end of the year

and then the beginning of the year and all the trips and stuff. Aren't we taking a... Potentially taking a beach vacation together between now and then i hope so i do too i think that's the plan though i'm just excited to get my steaks who makes what's the best steak in austin i feel unqualified yeah there's a restaurant called jeffrey's that has a it's really fucking expensive but really good what would you say the top three like can the winner pick their steak what about

that absolutely okay trulox used to have this thing called steak dynamite which was really good what was that it was like it was like a nice steak but with shrimp and spicy sauce on top you know my favorite part about winning this bet is jeff my favorite part about winning this bet is, Jeff? My favorite part about winning this bet is I'm going to schedule. I'm going to win this steak. So that's going to be my first prize. I'm going to go to Austin. I'm going to redeem this steak.

And Gavin is going to forget to show up to this steak dinner. And then I'm going to get a guilt basket. That's exciting. It's going to be a double win. This is a mountain. We're stacking victories here. Are there any new consoles coming out anytime soon i don't think so but we'll see or if you want you can buy like you can the winner can the winner can make the loser buy like a cut of steak and then i can grill it for you although it'd probably be better just to go

to a restaurant but i'm not bad. I think that'd be a good idea. I like that. I'm excited. Let's do this. We're locked in. We have our bet, Gavin. That's my way of stealing some steak out of this. So what's the actual bet? You have to put a dollar. What is being caught mean?

Do I have to tag you? How does this work? You have to catch me doing it. So I need to stop you in the act essentially to prevent or alert him alert him that you're aware that he's there okay okay and i have to try to put a fucking cucumber on your door and steal your trash can for bonus yeah it needs to be cute the cucumbers need to be in a bag and they need to be sweating, if we're going to be correct.

Now, Gavin, are you putting an American dollar, a Canadian dollar, or Monopoly money on his door? Or British? I'm probably going to put a Monopoly 100 on his door. Okay. A Monopoly 100. Interesting. Okay.

I'm excited. What's your doormate? What sort of fixings do I need to bring? That's for you to find out. I'm not going to give you any edges. I don't have your fucking address. I should probably bring, like, a tape or a magnet or a screw.

Don't screw. Don't use a screw. That'd be a bad idea. Tape would work. If you went with a screw, I would cease to have a door. What do you mean? Then I guess I'd technically win the bet.

If I just get rid of my front door. Well, you're going to be bringing it down with you anyway, right? Didn't we determine you were going to lie with it? That's true. That's a great point. I get to the door, it's just a door frame, and he's left. That's true, you can't put it on the door if he's hidden the door out in the woods somewhere. The door maybe counts. That's a question.

Does the door frame count? If Gavin goes there and you remove the doors. Yeah, it does. The door frame would count. Okay. He's taking the door frame as well. Yeah, put it on the door frame if you can find that all right so we've got a lot of stuff coming up maybe we either have a lot of stuff coming up but we have nothing coming up yeah i guess it'll depend on after we hit stop here and what andrew

says yeah what andrew really means you're playing that me? When do I say yes in the recording and say no the second we start? Literally the last time. The monkey movie. The previous time, the monkey movie. You immediately said no. What was my reason for saying no? I don't remember, but as soon as we finish. If I ever do that, it's because there's new information I've remembered.

I'm never like, oh, I'm saying yes now, but I'm definitely saying no actually afterwards. It's usually like something else comes up or, you know, we have to change for something. I'm never like lying in the recording. I never. Oh, Nick says new information you remembered is all information, isn't it? That's correct, Nick.

But that's a great point. That changes the intent. I got to defend's a great point. That changes the intent. I gotta defend Andrew a little bit. There are some times when you say yes to something and then 10 minutes later, as soon as we stop, we go, alright, so we're on for a Friday and you go, well... Yeah, and there's no implication that at that time

you... I don't think that's true. I just gave you an example. I just gave you an example. What was the example? You're a ridiculous... You fool! You didn't say what the MVP thing was. I just gave you an example. I just gave you an example. What was the example? What was it? The MVP. Oh, you're ridiculous. You fool. You didn't say what the MVP thing was. You said we'd all agreed.

And then if you go in the episode, it's the whole, you're ridiculous. You're being ridiculous. But that wasn't information I had in the recording. Let's end the show. Let's end the show. What, did it fucking fly to you?

Five minutes later? What do you mean? I probably checked a calendar or something. Exactly. That's fine, but you did the thing. You did the act of saying, I'm available, and then as soon as we stopped being, oh, no, I can't. But the intent is different for you,

because you already know you're saying no to this. I'm so amazed that Eric is so quiet through this part, because I would love to hear his, well, you know, maybe it's better we don't we should probably wrap this up right we should alright I'm also not sure that Eric is still here I'll be back I get the impression

oh no I'm here there's just nothing that I'm gonna do that's gonna solve anything so I'm just waiting for it to end so we can figure out if it's something we're doing or not well there you have it thank you for listening to another episode of it to end so we can figure out if it's something we're doing or not. Well, there you have it. Thank you for listening to another episode of the

F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. I don't know why I said that. That's the beginning part. Strike that. I mean, I said it. Don't delete it, but don't retain that information. Just go ahead and like and subscribe and tell a friend about F*** Face so that they'll like it too. Bye.

Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. The boys ate too much turkey and forgot to record an episode, so here's some predictions for what happens next week. Eric forgets his Icy Hot again. Jeff made friends with a living turkey. Penn doesn't understand Thanksgiving. Gavin wants to move. What is the year's best movie? How did you celebrate Black Friday?

And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. I'm not available in Feb. I already knew that.