F**kface - Pleasantry Differences // A Loose Relationship with the Truth [90]

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about pleasantries, Gavin's ohs, Andrew's achievement lies, why aren't knives better, set ups but no punchlines, Va***ty, David Hasselhoff, disowned by every country, and candy tastings? If you want to send your towel cards in, send to: Infinity Towel, 1901 e. 51st st, Austin, TX 78723 Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16 + code face16), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), and Nutrafol (http://nutrafol.com + code FACE) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This is pleasantries part. It's a great song. Good day to you all. How is everyone feeling today? I couldn't be better. I learned last night that Macho Man had a rap album in 2003, and so I listened to all of it. It's better than you'd expect it to be, but not good, obviously.

But there is a childlike joy to all of it. How does it compare to Stevo? Does Stevo have an album? Oh, yeah. He had some rap. I have not heard. Okay, I will listen i'll listen to steven is it a full album or is he just like rapped on a few songs how does it compare to sell the stockbrokers rap album oh man rejohn gaudy one of the uh the songs well first of all

can you come back to an industry you were never part of because the opening track is called i'm back and the whole hook is that macho man's back but he never rapped before yeah and i get he's saying like i'm back in the public eye but i don't think you could declare your back to a thing that is your first appearance of when would you say he left first left the public eye. Like, when did his popularity first wane? 2000, 2001? I would say 2000 because that was the folding, hi, welcome to the wrestling part of the show. This WCW folded in 2000, and when WCW got bought by WWF, that contract that Macho Man might have maybe had

within WCW, he didn didn't go but he did make one more appearance in 2004 but that was it like he was done with wrestling in 2000 so he had been so he was back after a three-year hiatus then that's a pretty that's a pretty decent hiatus I think that also came in 2003 was his Spider-Man cameo in the Tobey Maguire movie yeah this is the hook of the opening track people want to know if Macho's still in the Tobey Maguire movie. This is the hook of the opening track. People want to know if Macho's still in the ring. In my head, I always go, he isn't. As soon as that finishes.

Then it goes, people want to know if Randy's doing his thing. He's not, is immediately what falls in my head. Then everybody's talking, want to know this and that. So I'm telling you right now, Randy Savage is back. Which always leaves me wondering, is he? Like he's here, but I don't, as I said, I don't think you can come back to a thing that you've never done before. But more importantly, Macho Man means the thing.

And I'll just go through it because I love it. I love it. It means it. So I think it's beautifully stupid. The M's because I push it to the maximum and the A's for the aura that they try to become. The C's for the champ six times I became and the H's for honor. that they try to become the c's for the champ six times i became and the h is for honor i'm in the hall of fame the o's for oh yeah because i'm so outstanding the m's for macho i'm the last man standing i love he has two m's and one of them means something and the other m just means macho which is the first part of his Well I don't think he could have said the M in macho is macho

He had to put it on the other M Didn't you also just say that the C is for six champions? I guess, okay, yeah Yes, it is, for the champs, six times He made the C champion but the next letter in macho is H

so he could have just had the ch be champion. Right, but what was the H? As in lump them together. No, no, I understand, but then we would lose what the H was for. Honor. Right, because he's in the Hall of Fame.

Wow, I can't believe you remember that. Also crazy that he came up with that nickname before he'd won the six championships, but that's what it meant. He looked at his name later and thought, that's convenient. I just think, I just, I mean, I don't want to talk shit on Macho Man Randy Savage, who

delighted and entertained me my entire childhood, but I think there might be some retrofitting going on there. I would agree with that. It's interesting. I didn't know it existed. It's 46 minutes long. There's a love song in it, a love rap, which is great. There's a very heartfelt, like remembering his friend song to close the album.

It's a weird, fun listen. It's very bizarre. But that is just that's been my music for like the past 12 hours. Just on loop. Does he talk about Miss Elizabeth in it at all? I don't think he does but i wondered if the love song applied to miss elizabeth the love song was about mr perfect no yes no that's the in memory song there's two different songs there's one that is like in

dedication to his best friend mr perfect he calls him i think it's called my perfect friend and there's one prior that is just a macho man love song called What's That All About? The chorus to the song is, first you love me, then you hate me, want to leave me, pretty lady, can you tell me, what's that all about? Do you think he wrote all this? No, absolutely not. I forget who, there's one person that was credited for most of these songs and it was not him are there any famous guest spots does like does like 50 sit drop a bar or uh i wish there there are a few features on it of names i don't recognize but they're people that have clearly rapped for a lot longer than he has and when

you're only listening to him rap, you kind of forget what the level of skill difference is between somebody that actually does this, and it makes those songs glaring how not great at it he is, despite his attempt. You can tell he tried real hard. It makes me wonder about him, right? Because he's been famous and a part of popular culture

almost my entire life you know uh growing up in the early 80s uh and so i've seen him around in a million things throughout my life i've never seen him out of character i always wonder with a guy like that like where does randy savage begin or where does you know what i mean and macho man end like is there like how different is he at home on right now in his living room watching cnn or qvc then the character he personifies i was gonna say the main difference is he doesn't hate hulk hogan but no he does he hates hulk there's a diss track aimed at hulk Hogan in the album back he's not wrestling he just hates Hulk Hogan and wants him to know that

I think everybody who worked with Hulk Hogan seems to hate him it seems that way yeah he seems to be terrible which is unfortunate as someone who loved him as a child he sucks maybe he's terrible maybe it's jealousy who knows no I think it's terrible I think he just sucks

okay I'll say i don't know the man personally but uh i don't either but everything i know about him he sucks he's terrible strong words from andrew pantin looking to fight hulk hogan i already have the director of the tuxedo mad at me i'm willing to take on hulk hogan why stop now sorry uh pleasantries are over guys oh they're. It's you know what? Because we had it's funny. You mentioned pleasantries. We recorded two episodes last week and I almost died of laughter in one over a thing that

I don't think is necessarily all that funny, but it was funny in my head. I love that you don't even remember. What was that? We were we're just talking about the tiki mugs, and it was a thing that I genuinely think is awesome and really liked, and I felt like I was just drowning trying to talk about them genuinely. And I just was like the worst,

I just couldn't get out of my own head that I was just fucking bombing and tanking and just sounded terrible. And you went, oh. When I brought up that it was the inadvertent. Oh, yeah, I said, oh, wrong. And it broke me. And it's to the point where as soon as we finished recording,

I went back and I went to your audio specifically to find the oh. Don't perv through my audio. And so I went back into your audio and I was like, wow, he's real quiet here at the start because you you've started and you go testing test test test test and then it's just silence for like an extended time i was curious what how much time you've spent what's the longest you've spent doing your test and then just waiting for the clock to run do you have a longest one is there one where you're like seven minutes early

and you're like, oh boy. Probably like six minutes, maybe. Yeah, six minutes. Is that the average or is that the longest? Sometimes I just get rolling and then I'll like go and do something like I'll make a coffee or I'll like maybe go pee

and then just at three, I'll join the discord. But yeah, I've already been rolling for a few minutes sometimes. That's funny. But that's my little secret and Nick's. I'll join the Discord. But yeah, I've already been rolling for a few minutes sometimes. That's funny. But that's my little secret. And Nick's. I love that the only difference between him and us is we click on Discord and then communicate with each other.

He's recording just like we are. He's in the Discord looking at it. He just refuses to join us until he's contractually obligated to. But not today. I joined for some pleasantries. How were your pleasantries, Gav? Did you enjoy them? I'll be honest.

They sounded pretty, pretty similar to this. If I'm being completely honest. I was unaware of where the pleasantries were different to an episode or just any normal chat or any time we've played Halo. It was, I think Andrew's full of shit. No, to be fair, this is the pleasant nobody's ever all here for pleasantries this is a rare time where everyone showed up 10 minutes early it's typically nick and i will be the first ones to hop in right so i ruined pleasantries by completing the entire cast and crew yeah you did and it's not your fault it's just um i'm if anything if

anyone's upset by this it's me i wish you got to experience the real pleasantries experience but i will no longer hold it against you you tried i try definitely made an attempt i get i respect it i will say gav in in in to kind of bolster where you're going with that uh as someone who participates in pleasantries pretty often uh as soon as i joined, Andrew was reading rap lyrics and he was doing a bit about Macho Man Randy Savage. It felt very content-y to me. I even asked him.

I was like, hey, is this content? Should we stop or is this Pleasantries? I don't know if any of that's... I don't know. I mean, I assume the Pleasantries won't make it in the episode. As Andrew said, Pleasantries aren't for recording, so they won't be in.

No, I feel like most of that would go in. What? Well, then why were you producing the show 10 minutes early if you think it's content well you were the one that initiated it you're like should we go and then everyone started recording because you're like this this content i was just talking about a thing i didn't expect it to be content but i think it became content because you brought it up as content i don't know i think you presented it as content i said most of it i didn't say all of it. I think some of it is in.

We'll find out. I guess I won't. I don't listen to it. I'll never know. I guess the three of us will never fucking know. It's up to Nick. While you were rifling through my raw audio file, did you find the O you were looking for? I did find the O I was looking for.

Was it what you remembered? I can play it i asked as soon as we finished i asked nick to clip it and kelly clipped oh that's great it was the oh and it was the next thing you said after that's what really killed me was i was i was really i was teetering on the edge with your oh because i felt it sounded so disingenuous and then you you jeff was talking you said uh oh no and that that came across as equally disingenuous to then you you were jeff was talking you said uh oh no and that that came across as equally disingenuous to me and that's like me i just wouldn't bother saying anything if it felt disingenuous like i feel like i wouldn't just say something for the sake of it

i must have just been slightly low energy but i don't know why i would have done it deliberately disingenuously i think i'm putting my own bullshit on you where it's sometimes when you're talking to someone and you're not listening, you'll make a sound that you think goes with what they're saying. So it seems like you're still there but you're really not. But you're just you're just throwing a word out there. That's

what both of your reactions sounded like in my head at that time. So I'm going to play. I don't know if I want to go through. We'll see on the Discord audio if it will work. Here we So I'm going to play. I don't know if I'm going to go through. We'll see on the Discord audio if it will work. Here we go. If it will play. Oh.

Oh, no. I'll do it one more time. Oh. Oh, no. All right. Well, okay. In fairness, if I was like, you know, they'd be terrible takes if i was

voice acting so i would probably say do them again so in reality yes i'm just i don't think i think that's real i agree i completely agree do you want a redemption do you want a redemption you want to re-record no i already redeemed it last week i i did my replacement last time hey uh nick can we get that to broadcast so they can be added to the face break shit soundboard? I would like both of those in there, please. Oh, man.

You've just deemed them unenthusiastic. By the way, dude, that oh, man you just did came across as very genuine. I think both of them were genuine, I would say say i think the oh in my head it was all completely in my head because i thought i was failing i didn't even know what you were laughing at at the beginning at the time yeah no it wasn't even all that funny

it was just i was in my own head and it just made me laugh because it seemed so disingenuous but did you clip out your laugh can we listen to to that? How ridiculous. Wait one sec. I'm getting a phone call right now. Let me see if I can. Can I swap? Well not. It won't let me swap. So I switched. I made that the noise for all the alerts on my phone.

So whenever I get a text or an email or a call I get the oh. Oh no. Oh. And it just loops. And it has been very funny I would say Gavin that you're I would say that

that oh and that oh no were exactly and I'm not weighing in judgment either way I'm just saying they were as exactly as legitimate as your overkill achievement alright so it's real then it was very legitimate if you believe in the overkill achievement. All right. So it's real then. It was very legitimate. If you believe in the overkill achievement, then you

probably believe in the oh, oh, no. There you go. I believe in both. It's great. I love, I would reckon, maybe I'll, I don't know, put the file out if people want to do what I did. It's amazing when things chain. Like if I get a Twitter alert and then an email comes through, it'll just go oh oh

it's fantastic I'm having a great time it spooked me like three different times I'll be doing something then all out of nowhere I'll just hear Gavin go oh oh no I'd highly recommend speaking of Halo

though for a minute I had I had a bit ruined Jeff i had something stomped on oh it's very sad what last time you know last time we recorded we it came out that gavin has been fucking with me with this whole screenshot game that he's oh yeah yeah yeah i didn't know it i finally figured it out oh we haven't done an intro eric is saying oh yeah uh check it out. We haven't done an intro, Eric is saying. Oh, yeah. Check it out. F*** Face, episode 80-something. What is it? Who cares? Episode 90. Who fucking cares? Season 4 or something. Let's go. Anyway, you were saying.

So I was saying that I learned... I see that Eric at 3, by the way. Also, he's written no intro down here, but at the top he wrote, no intro and then a minute later writes, someone do an intro. I didn't see any of that. I wasn't looking at the top he wrote no intro and then a minute later writes someone do an intro i didn't see any of that i wasn't looking at the discord so i learned i learned that gavin had been fucking with me with the screenshot thing but what gavin didn't know is that there's an achievement

in halo infinite to revive three players in a game type that hasn't been in halo until this event that just came out uh and it's it's it's been impossible achievement you couldn't get it until this event and i got a text from gavin saying hey did you get the achievement and i didn't because you can't it's a different game type it's you can revive people in the game type but it's called what is it like attrition instead of elimination because attrition at the at the end of each round of attrition it basically ends through elimination there's a set amount of lives and then you eliminate the final spawns until everyone's dead so and it even says elimination on the screen yes so i assumed revive and you can revive so i assume three revivals in a round would be i also i assume

that when i played and i couldn't figure out why it didn't unlock when I did it and I played several games that were very intense trying to get this achievement and I thought I met the criteria to unlock it and then I read online oh it's the wrong game type it's attrition not elimination it's a weird technicality thing so then when Gavin texted me have you got the achievement yet I immediately replied yes and I thought I don't know I don't know what the end result of this will be but I could just fuck with him about this and I'm hoping in my head that he's going to be in all these like tense

games where he just needs one more revive and he doesn't quite get it so he's annoyed by it and it just made me laugh I was I did I had so many games where I got two and I kept being like oh it's so close so we were we're playing and it's the lie that i never considered reaching

beyond gavin and so it was gavin dan and uh bernie joined uh and he immediately asked if anyone here had the achievement and in my head i panicked because i was like i don't i need to lie about this so i just said yeah i got it and then I thought all I can like message later or something and explain because if he then doesn't get it and then realize like I then just look like a really weird liar for no reason so I need to explain that this is a bit that I'm doing so I was like yeah I I got it he's like wow that's impressive and we played for a little bit more and then and then he left and we were playing and like 10 minutes after he left he rejoined the party and it was like somebody kicked the door down he rejoined and immediately said panton you said you got that achievement and i was so i was so caught off

guard and i didn't know what to say so i was like yes i did say it but no no yes, but no but yes, but no But yes, and then the game that he got through a vice Done the criterion it didn't pop for him So he was pissed and he's like did it fuck me over type thing and then he didn't know how to interpret my response So then it just came out that I had been lying to Gavin about this for at least a week You should have just fucking texted him immediately and said, dude, Ixnay on the Achievement A. I would have, but I was so panicked the way he came into

the party, Jeff. It was like he kicked the door down. I know. I know that, Bernie. I know exactly what you're talking about. I was not prepared for that to play out. The good news is that there's one other lie that I've told Gavin about Halo that he thinks is true and he doesn't know what it is. He's freaking Jeffed me.

He's bloody driver's licensed me here. And I can't figure it out. I'm trying to now remember all the things he's told me about Halo. Is it a good one, Andrew? I remember telling him that. I remember telling him that and him replying, that's interesting.

So I think it is. It was over text and replying, that's interesting. So I think it is. It was over text and I said, that's interesting? I'm not going to give you any clues as to what it was. Interesting search all. Oh, we say interesting to each other a lot. It was funny, though, when you had to come clean in front of Birdie, because he was like, wait, what? And I was like, wait, what?

And you just were flogged. And Dan was like, I don't know what's going on. It was very, it was a strangely heated, intense moment that came out of left field. But I was disappointed that that bit has died died but i still got one in the fire it's got one halo thing that you just don't know what it is interesting if you ever guess it i'll let you know but i'm not gonna tell you you said interesting too i went bowling the day before that was that was when i was doing my investigation on your halo thing i asked what you did on the on that day and you're like, I can't say on that day, but I

went bowling the day before. That was a joke. Interesting. That actually meant something. I sent you my overkill achievement. I said it might be the worst quality video on YouTube. I must have been 20 when I made this. You said interesting. I said, what do you think? You said I'm holding

my opinion until Thursday. I said interesting. That was two interestings across four messages. I'm never going to find this. If we did a coin flip where one of us had to remove the word interesting, I just don't think we'd have text conversations anymore. Maybe we just need to be more honest about what is

and isn't interesting. Or increase the bar of what is. Because I feel as though that was a joke interesting, but I don't feel like I've ever lied about it. Interesting and interesting isn't a lie word for me. What about incredible? Incredible might be a lie. A great lie word.

Gavin called me out on this. Great question is a great lie word for me. Great question is like that's what I say when I need time to like figure out. It's like a slightly longer. It's like I'm going to respond without responding give me a second to come up with a thought for answering your question okay that's mine I know do you have one

everything I've ever said to you is a lie I have such a loose relationship with the truth it's yeah it's the truth is whatever the truth is whatever, the truth is whatever is the funniest in the moment in whatever content I'm making. Yeah, I'm gonna cut for that. Embellishments.

Yeah. Yeah, that's gonna really piss me off probably for the rest of, uh... I'm not, are you ever gonna tell me, though? What it was? No, I, if you guess it, I will let you know, but I don't think I'll ever tell you. Let's just's just say this andrew i've been stormed if if my relationship with the truth like it's i if i were macho man randy savage i would be sitting on my sofa right now

watching qvc going oh yeah cubic zirconium i would be full like i there's no i can't take the hat off so i just like imagining you watching qvc just generally speaking dude i fucking i like to watch the knife the dudes that sell knives at like three in the morning do they sell what what what is their angle what how do they sell them fucking country dudes just there's like a there's tip there's like a million different qvc type things but i always see the one like when i'm in hotels and shit where they like there's like a lucite lazy susan type thing in the middle and it just spins with like a different buck hunter knife on it and then it'll be like a different kind of knife and they'll just talk about how great the knife is i like i could watch that forever my favorite one

i like whenever they do tech stuff I don't remember what exactly the specifics of it they tried to sell Xboxes on QVC and then like trying to explain why an Xbox one was great was fantastic I was there should be like just a channel do they post all those online that's a great question

like they should do that I guess it's not in their best interest I've been watching more of that kind of content for the last few months uh just for like osmosis purposes you know we're gonna launch uh at some point when gavin's available we're gonna we're gonna film this uh we're gonna film that show i don't know if we've talked it's called does it do but anyway we're gonna film that show uh where we like test out infomercial products and so i've been i'm trying to you know i'm trying to i'm trying to steep myself in that world.

So I have those kinds of shows on a lot these days. They research. Yeah, I immediately tried to do the same thing. We're just watching paid programming. But unfortunately, almost everything I get is this one guy who tries to sell. It's like the Bible of business advice. Like he uses the background like it's a church set up, but it's just like this is a book on how to be successful in business.

And it sucks. It's a terrible like one hour long, maybe 30 minutes. I don't know. But anyway, terrible. I don't have fun ones. I wish I had knife guys. I'd love to watch somebody try to sell me on a knife because I feel like it's an easy sell you're not really looking for too many things out of a knife i uh yeah it's like does it stab good uh i uh i'll send you some i'll send you some knife content please do i'd

love some good knife content absolutely why are why are knives better well what do you mean by that like isn't there a metal we can make knives out of where it doesn't go blunt over time? Like, should a chicken really blunt my knife if I cut a hundred chickens up? I don't, hmm. There are like Japanese knives. Those are really high quality, but even those go dull.

Still gotta be sharpened. Still have to be sharpened. Japanese knives are cool. Um, but a knife that never dulls. Yeah, like what's the most resilient metal what is the most Google is the most resilient

metal has to feel good though as well I can't I would rather take a knife that dulls but feels good to use chromium chromium chromium knife do they sell those I'd rather take a knife that dulls but feels good to use than a knife that... Chromium. Chromium? Chromium. Chromium knife. Do they sell those?

Yeah. Is it poisonous? Chromium knife blades. Oh, you can buy a hamacker slamacker for $154.95. The forever sharp French chef's knife kitchen knife. Dude, we can get some chromium knife... Ooh, we should have. I got a chromium chisel.

Have you ever had to sharpen it? No, I only used it a week ago to put in a new electric door handle. what a great throwback yeah that that was a great great callback buddy i'm gonna take notes on that as somebody who uh who killed it with a callback recently of the bread clip i'm gonna take notes on on great callback execution that was perfect but you just totally nailed you rolled with it it was amazing i don't know why i've said it because it doesn't make sense i feel like you i think you may have said the batteries i think

you may have used the word expired which then made me think of of food expiring which then made me think of the purpose of a bread clip. Well, that is funny. Did you, did I say it like 90 seconds earlier though? Because it seemed to come out of nowhere. No, I wish there was, there was something recently that on the podcast where I thought I had a really funny line and I didn't say it.

And there's nothing funnier on a podcast and talking about something funny. You could have said, but didn't, this is great. I'm doing great content right now. Let me enthrall you with is that the right word that was the right word right and yeah you nailed it i nailed it yeah that was good it's a good moment by me i have i have moments where i uh listening back to the podcast i can

see areas where i was about to tell a joke and i just don't but sometimes because i you can hear me go like and i'm when i'm listening to it, I'm like, oh, I know what I was going to say there. That could have been funny, but I didn't say it. But there are some times where I just leave the setups in and then I give up on it and don't deliver the punchline. But there was a bit when Jeff was talking about his bikes and his exploding batteries.

He was talking about the spokes. And I said something like, like oh were they custom and what i was gonna say was you could say it was bespoke but i i just left in the is it a custom thing and i never did the punchline because i just thought better of it and you would never know what i was about to say has has there ever been a one where you tried to guide the car back to the ramp on a future episode did you ever have you ever tried to take us back because you thought a line was so good that you needed to do it again you gotta run this back have you done that i haven't done that i have more like uh i'll have an idea of something to talk about and then it just never comes up and then I question should I still talk about it because I think

it's funny but it doesn't make sense it's been so long since the main thing like so oh boy we're going to a lot of places here so on the RT podcast at one point it was brought up recently it'd be funny to because we have a on the

next episode of Jack does at the end of these where he guesses what will happen and it was joked about that what if we did a on the next episode of Jack does at the end of these where he guesses what will happen and it was joked about that what if we did a previously on at the start of the episode and so I thought that's a funny idea what if like I could get some weird person to do the previously

on that no one would be able to know like it would become a mystery of who is the previously on because I loved lost and that was like a weird thing for a while with loss where people are like who the fuck is the previously and lost voice and they kind of like kept it a mystery so i was like hmm what would be a funny nobody would be able to guess who is this voice and so i reached out to the guy that wrote that variety article i was like hey did i ask you something and i did not approach it and uh we talked very nice todd's great todd's a great guy he politely declined in doing the previously on which is

why i'm bringing it up now but that is something all in the last two we recorded was constantly in my head of like i want to talk about the fact that i talked to the guy that wrote that variety article and never got to how did he explain himself yeah explain himself uh no i didn't ask that i didn't ask why we weren't included i just i brought up what's the point no i don't really care why i don't give a fuck if variety includes us or not it doesn't matter in any way to me that aspect of it i just what was funny to me about the variety thing as i said was the fact that they you would assume they would have to at least consider it there'd be some form of that's what it'd be good to know like was he not provided the list was it someone in our company who didn't give it to him or was it he had it and didn't want to include it i don't care about that information you do care you talked

about how funny it was how you love the idea that at some point he had to sit down and make a decision what to include and what not to and what would be safe for variety or not. And you had the man who had to make those decisions on the hook and you didn't ask him about those decisions? That was the whole point of all of this. You don't make any sense. No. I strongly disagree you talk to anyone else i'm disappointed no here's let me explain myself if i get an answer to that question it might no longer be funny anymore if i just assume what happened it's funny

if i continue to live in the world in which my assumption is correct it's funny to me and there's no risk of that changing i don't really care that we weren't mentioned in the world in which my assumption is correct it's funny to me and there's no risk of that changing i don't really care that we weren't mentioned in the variety thing i don't give a fuck about what variety thinks of this podcast doesn't matter to me what's funny to me is that proper like established businesses that don't have that tone at all have to at least look at the name theoretically and then decide if they want to include it. I don't need confirmation for that. That's just I'm deciding that's how that goes. I didn't care about that. I just thought it'd be really

because nobody would fucking guess it was the variety guy doing the previously on. That would have been a great get. Of course it wouldn't. Would have been a fantastic get. So now I'm trying to think of somebody kind of tied to the show that is Jackie Chan. I don't think I should get Jackie.

I don't think Kevin Donovan would vouch for me, unfortunately, at this time. So I don't. That'd be a tough one. Dusty Baker. I thought about trying to get somebody in the Zimmer family, but then I thought, yeah, I don't know how they'd feel about the boys, the Zimmer shirts and all that. I don't know necessarily if they'd love. Yeah, I'd hope they would. But thought I don't know how they'd feel about the boys Zimmer shirts and all that I don't know necessarily if they'd love yeah I'd hope they would but I just don't know yeah and a lot of us laughing at their dead relative getting shoved into the ground head first that's I kind of forgot about that that was like a nod yeah maybe not the greatest idea it was interesting

I was reading about I don't know if you know about this jeff i didn't know a lot about don zimmer's time with the texans which is when he was on that that when he ate the fried chicken yeah the 1982 guys was reading about it i don't are you familiar with what happened to him when he was on that team no i was he was fired on him he was fired on like monday and asked to manage the team through to thursday But they fired him on Monday and they had him they had him like manage a game beyond being told that he was going to get fired at the end of the week. Something happened that nobody knows what like five days prior to him getting fired, the owner said, I think Zimmer is doing a great job. And then he had an all day meeting.

And from what I can tell, the owner has never said Zimmer never said what happened, but something happened and he fired immediately after they had some disagreement that has never become public. And so he fired him on a Monday, but he had to manage on Wednesday and they had a press conference post all this coming out. And somebody asked her is one. I wish there was audio or video. This is such a contentious press conference where it's the owner and Zimmer and somebody asked the owner can Don Zimmer have a job in a different part of the Texans organization?

And the owner said absolutely. Don Zimmer is this beloved man in baseball. He's great. Fantastic. He can have any job in this building that he wants. To which Don Zimmer then replies, what I want is to manage the team on Friday when they play against the Yankees.

That's what I would like. And the owner looks at him and then says to the media, Don is going to be playing golf on Friday instead. It's been a very stressful time, but I think we all think it's in his best interest that he just relax and play some golf. To which then Don doubles down and says, no, I don't want to play golf.

I want to manage the team on Friday against the Yankees, but it appears I'll be playing golf. It was great. I just love that they had this insane press conference where he's arguing with the owner. What's going on there? I don't know. It's a wild time. They seem like a dumpster of a franchise at that time. But it was wild getting into some Don Zimmer.

So I don't know oh gavin just posted a screenshot interesting all the interesting nick said we should ask pedro martinez i think that's a great idea he's he is out and available he's doing mlb commentary he's uh he's used to recording i bet he'd be he'd'd be super willing and available to do it. Who do you think is more likely, Pedro Martinez or Coolio? Well, we've been more pro-Pedro Martinez than we have been Coolio. I feel like we early on signaled that we were coming for him. We're coming to usurp his Instagram.

I forgot about that. If Coolio did the previously on, he could end his previously on and just say, here it goes. That's true. I forgot about that. If Coolio did the previously on, he could end his previously on and just say, here it goes. That's true. Is that a Coolio song? It's just the beginning of Kino & Co, isn't it? Oh, here it goes.

Oh. For a thing that we've talked about like eight times, I have no concept. I have no memory of any of the Coolio rap lines outside of Abbott and Costello were mentioned and that might be it. I think that's all I remember about the Coolio

rap. I mean it was a Kel quote wasn't it from the show? Nobody watched it. I don't know why I'm asking. I watched it. I think I've seen every single episode of Keaton and Kel multiple times. I bet you could get, I bet we could get Kel. I met him once. He's really, really nice and seems up for it.

You met both of them. Oh, I guess I did. Not at the same time, though. Years apart. But I did meet Kel first. And he seemed lovely. I was so baffled that that was a question, Gavin, that I didn't register it as a question. I thought you were talking when you asked about Keenan and Kel. It was such an absurd idea

to me that you would ask either of us after the history of the rap. What did I ask? Didn't you? No, we're not doing this again. Didn't you just phrase a question? You said, isn't it a Keenan and Kel thing? We're talking about Keenan and Kel

and you brought up, isn't it a line from the show? And then you said, that's a perfect example of the moment had gone past i shouldn't have returned to it because you were gone you had left the building well it was too far it was too far enough for me to remember what question you were talking about and then when i said what question you didn't have well because i don't keenan and kell does not stick in my brain so i was struggling i was trying to like recreate the backdrop of the scenario of where it was asked. The longer we talk

about it, the better it gets. Nick, can you clip that moment and then we can submit that to Webster's or Numerium for their audio dictionary to describe that? It's the perfect dictionary example of what that moment

is. What moment is? Exactly. Thanks, Nick. I learned something else that kind of blew my mind. I feel like most people will probably realize this.

I fucked up in kind of a not interesting way. I thought that David Hasselhoff was a part of Blue Sweet. That's what I thought. I hooked on a feeling. Band? what I thought I hooked on a feeling band yeah I thought hooked on a feeling was a David Hasselhoff song and he sung

well because I think he covered it and it like crossed in my brain that he was just the singer of the Blue Swede version so I just assumed he was in Blue Swede and so to learn that he doesn't, he's not,

and that he has an extensive cover career was, was fun, but I've lived, I don't know my whole life thinking that David Hasselhoff, whenever I'd hear hooked on a feeling, I always assumed it was David Hasselhoff. Well, it's because he performed it so well.

He, he, he, he owned that performance. So I don't think I've heard the Hasselhoff. Have you not seen the video you must have great video oh we're putting the video in right now i know this is an audio podcast i pulled it we will describe what is happening that is what i went on a whole binge

of hasselhoff's music videos after this one of the greatest videos of all time it feels very much like hasselhoff got a green screen and was really excited about it all right I'm what get loaded up just immediate you're immediately hooked you're hooked on a feeling immediately are you dealing with you at the dancing bear yet this dog it was he like a yeti flying over the clouds what's happening here he's in like an Inuit suit snow bow something right yeah I like that it's not even like the background footage isn't even the same aspect ratio it's like he's standing in a bunch of crushed people i don't either david hasselhoff

is a comedic genius or it's one of the greatest accidents of all time. It's the way that the video builds off of itself. It's a very popular video. I'm surprised you haven't seen it. Yeah, I've never missed that. It's a, what is this? A hymn dressed up in safari dancing? Oh, Billy. Yeah, they must have known this was funny. I don't know. He's singing with himself.

He's standing on a bike. Well, he flies on it later. He's flying. He's flying off the bike. Yeah, he flies on it later. He's flying. He's flying off the bike. Yeah, and they know what they're doing with this. I feel like they do. But it's great. But it's possible they don't.

I mean, I feel like they do. Maybe he doesn't. That's what I'm saying. Kind of a macho man situation. What about you guys? How have you been? Wait, we're back to pleasantries no i was just i feel like i'm talking a lot i've learned about hasselhoff and macho man well i wanted to talk to you about how serious you are about this uh donkey kong challenge oh okay i'm very serious about it when does it begin that's a great, because I walked away from that going,

I don't know if I ever set a date. What about when this comes out? You said it needed to start on a Saturday after a recording. Okay. Or after when it comes out. This will come out on a Wednesday. This Saturday, I will start the thing, and that's when the 48 hours will clock. Or how many?

This is... 40 hours what was the time we adjusted the time 44 hours I think 44 hours I have to ask a question before we get any further of course you started this response by saying great question so am I not am I not to believe you now no because everything that now is said post a great question is a lie that you've come up with on the moment no it's it's a problem where it's also just kind of my go-to response i think that was a genuine great question i didn't need time for that one that was a genuine great question i understand i see what you're saying it is a dilemma it's a real problem i'm gonna work it out but that was a great question

f facepod on twitch i think. What day, though? Saturday. What day is... When does this come out? What day is the number... The numerical date? This will be on February 16th. February... Did we work this out last time?

16th. Did we figure out when the last week's one would come out? Maybe. This might have already happened. It's now happened. Well, you did this. You did this to us. It's your fault if it has.

February 19th will be the start time 12 a.m it's like a 44 hours i don't know wait that long well we've recorded a few for you this is your fault that you have to wait that long we're ahead because of you this is you you did this i'm glad you brought that up though because i i had been thinking that i i felt like i don't know what i'm supposed to start this but it would feel weird for me to bring it up so we're set are you're good you're good with the 64 pieces of clothing i'm gonna be honest i didn't know joey had a bit and friends were that it was that so i felt exactly 64 was it exactly 64 pieces there's no way it was exactly it was just he's wearing a lot of clothes for some reason. People have

worn a lot of clothes since the beginning of time. Since the beginning of time? Nick wrote something very funny in the chat. If you watch Friends. I didn't... I still thought it was funny. I haven't seen it.

I still think, why didn't you just read the line? Why didn't you say that Nick said something funny? Why didn't you just say what he said? Why are we dissecting every bit? Well, it's just weird. Because that means nothing. Now people don't know what Nick said. It's a weird way to handle that situation.

Nick, why doesn't Nick deliver it in the style of said character? Ooh. I like this. Nick, I'm going to need that clipped too. That's going to go for the soundboard as well. Nick unmuted inside. Yeah, definitely.

Could he be wearing any more clothes? That was good. That was great, man. That was really good. That was really good, Nick. Really good. I'd love to hear him do an O. I bet you that would sound just as good. Delivery. good. That was really good, Nick. Really good. I'd love to hear him do an O.

I bet you that would sound just as good. Delivery. I'm not going to do callbacks is what I've done. Oh, that was pretty good. That was good. I think Eric hasn't said very much on this one. Why would he? I was here for the pleasantries, and then you guys, you know, I'm not featured here. It's all you guys.

I will say that Eric came in hot with dates. Like, we were talking about, like, when man randy savage like initially retreated from the public eye and eric was like the fucking like nwa was was uh disincorporated on this exact day and then he did like eric has like a timeline of everything that's ever happened to wrestling so he he was very beneficial uh early on to the But that's all pleasantries. So I don't know if that made it, Gavin. This ad is brought to you by HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. HelloFresh delivers pre-portioned ingredients to your door, including farm fresh produce

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Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code FACE to save $15 off your first month subscription. This is their best offer anywhere anywhere and it's only available to u.s customers for a limited time plus free shipping on every order get 15 off at neutrophil.com spelled n-u-t-r-a-f-o-l.com promo code face thank. I've been disowned by every country. What? I, uh, well, I meant, this is gonna be an Eric question. We were, so, we played Halo a little bit ago. Three of us.

You and Eric? No, Jeff and you and myself played some Halo. It's been a minute. I haven't played Halo with you guys in weeks. It's been some time. It's, listen, it took a while to put this together. But we're talking about if you, let's say that you were created you just you exist and you had to pick a country to live in based only on its flag you don't know anything about it you just all the only point of context you have is the flag for the place what flag would you pick and then talk to we

led into we're making like conversation about joke facts for different countries so i emailed every country what fact they would want if they were gonna if they were could share one fact about their country who's answering the country's inbox i don't know i didn't get any replies and so i'm saying i've been disowned by every country i emailed every country asking if you could share one fact about some countries don't know. I didn't get any replies. That's what I'm saying. I've been disowned by every country. I emailed every country asking if you could share one fact about some countries don't. Nick, that's a great point. He asked, does every country have an email address? Some countries do not.

But every country that did, I emailed. What do you mean? What do you mean? How do you email a country? Like the government? You Google the country. mean what do you email a country like the you like the government like you google the country and typically there's like an official country tourism website that they've made for their own place you're emailing the tourist board uh yeah i'm emailing the tourist board for the country

does that constitute your you could just email like steve i'm not fucking emailing travelocity i'm email emailing the country represented tourist website. Have you seen Nick's email address? United States of America at USA, USA, USA.gov. A lot of places, you don't know their email address. You just put in like a contact form and you reach out. I wonder why you got no replies. I didn't.

I didn't get. But I feel like I'm being ghosted by every country at the moment. And I don't feel like I have one. I feel like I'm a man without country. But we all answered that question. So I was going to ask Eric if he was going to pick a country based purely on flag alone. What country would he go with? Okay.

Albania. Albania. Yeah. Albania. I don't even know what Albania's flag looks like. Oh, you should look it up. Albania flag. Yeah.

You could just probably type in the word Albania. I don't. Two-headed bird? Yes, it is. I don't know if I like this. You don't know if you like the, it's weird that countries aren't getting back to you, man. That's nuts.

No, okay. The Albania flag looks like somebody that you wouldn't want to play a multiplayer game with. Like in a shooter. Can somebody link the Albanian flag in the description so I can see it? What a great question. Oh, that's a foreboding flag. You wouldn't want to live there, Jeff? No, dude.

You can see, What do you mean? You can see the birds have tongues. You can see their tongues. How often do you see a bird's tongue? That flag looks like war. That's an aggressive flag. I just want to live. Here's my flag.

Cure a body. There's a seagull. There's waves. There's sunshine. No. Dude, my flag says suntan on the beach. Nick's right, it's peaceful. You have a boring ass bird.

My birds have tongues, two heads, going nuts. You're crazy. Your flag is a mythical beast with a thousand talents. The person that represents your flag is telling me to uninstall the game because I don't have a high enough KD. I don't want to live in your nation. It stinks. Jeff's flag is great.

If I'm in a game lobby with Jeff's flag, he's playing music too loudly, but it's chill music, so I'm okay with it. He's not doing all that great, but he's in great vibes, man. I'm having a great time, man. I'm loving life. Is Kiribati... It's Kiribati, I think, isn't it, mon. I'm loving life. Is Kiribati...

It's Kiribati, I think, isn't it? Isn't that the one that was, like, right on the dateline and it switched sides at one point and they lost... Well, they gained a day. Like, something weird happened with that little place. Really? I don't know, but I bet they were so fucking chill and relaxed

they didn't notice. I think it was to do with, like, doing business with Australia or something where it kept being the weekend on the wrong day. I don't know. I can't remember it. Hey, can I tell you guys about a little side story in the middle of this? Because it just happened. A little saga that's gone on in my library while you guys were talking about the Albanian flag.

I picked the Welsh flag, by the way. Yeah, link it up, dude. I missed the first half of all of that because Henry started barking. I ran up to open the door for him because I was recording the other podcast I do this morning, the theme park one. And, you know, Henry, there's a strict no, there's a strict no squeezy toy rule in all other podcasts. Like Henry, it's like Vin Diesel saves his muscles for Vin Diesel movies. I save Henry squeaks for face. Right. And so we have, there*** Face, right? And so, we have...

I swear to God, there's a bit of a tension between Henry and I when I'm doing other podcasts where he just kind of is annoyed with me. And so, this morning while I was recording with Jack, I had forgotten to open the door and it started to smell and I thought Henry farted and I turned around. He took a giant mega

shit right behind me this morning on the rug and I was like ah damn it and i went i cleaned it up and i felt bad because it was my fault because i left the door closed uh so we could go potty after breakfast and uh just completely slipped my mind i'm a little loopy today i apologize i'm on some cold meds so uh when they started you guys started having the albanian conversation henry started barking and i went oh fuck he's about to take another dump he's letting me know. And so I ran over and I opened the door to let him out, but I forgot

the alarm has been on all day. So then the alarm started going off. So then I had to run around to the front of the house and disable the alarm. And then I came back in and I slid into the middle of it and I went, that's an interesting flag, Eric. Okay. And nobody would have ever known, but it's too ridiculous not to tell you guys. Anyway, I'm sorry. How did you not hear the alarm?

I got it fast, dude. Also, maybe you did hear it, I don't know. Anyway, you didn't hear it going back door open, alarm, alarm, or whatever she was saying. I heard it. Anyway, Gavin, your flag? That's whales.

That's whales. It's a dragon. I thought your people didn't like whales uh I don't think I like whales I always like I remember

when we were even there visiting I was like should we go to Wales I want to go to Cardiff or whatever and you were like there's no reason

to go there it's boring nobody likes whales I remember you telling me I don't think that was ever on the cards it was Scotland or France that we were going to go to

no no I remember this is the 10 year ago vacation or 15 years ago at this to go to no no I remember what this is the the 10 year ago vacation or 15 years ago at this point yeah no I was I remember it coming up because I'm I'm part Welsh and I thought I wanted to go see the homeland and you're like no you don't I was just guarding Wales uh well I don't remember that for the record I'm pro I'm pro Wales so I like your flag.

Do you think Eric had Albania ready to go, or did he just Google list of countries in alphabetical order and picked one of the first ones? I think he Googled angriest flag. I had it ready to go. I think Albania's flag is cool as shit. Okay. It is cool. Look at it.

Gavin's has one tongue. Yours has one bird. Mine has two-headed bird tongues. Awesome. Mine is like a tail tongue. Look at it. It's Gavin's has one tongue. Yours has one bird. Mine has two headed bird tongues. Mine is like a tail tongue. It is true. Is that better? Maybe you just maybe that might not even be a tongue. It might have just eaten another dragon.

Or he's just got a tongue coming out of his ass. Think about it. I am. I don't. I don't. I genuinely don't like the Albania flag. I'm not. Think about it. I am. I don't, I don't, I genuinely don't like the Albania flag. I'm not a fan of it. You're crazy.

I don't understand. Like, what do you want in a flag? I don't want to, I don't know. Like, I don't, hmm. I feel like that flag would be used to represent the villains in like a From Software game is like the vibe I get.

It's a menacing flag. And where are those villains in that game and what's the time frame? Well, like the Wolfenstein-like type games. Like it feels very military, militant. What is the word I'm looking for? Militant? Nazi is the word you're looking for.

Malicious is a Disney thing. Militant. I think you're trying to say it looks like World War II Nazi area propaganda. I want it on the record that I got there without Nick, which he gave me the assist, or he had the right word, but I got there. Yeah, I also said it, but all right. I didn't hear you.

I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. That's okay. Another callback well your flag I think your flag is a bit on the nose isn't it? what do you mean? whose flag? Canada I never said I'd pick my flag

you're not a fan of your own flag? no it's totally fine I think I have a decent flag I don't think I'd pick Canada based off of the flag alone. Hmm. I think the USA flag's kind of a problem. In what way? Well, we've locked ourselves in with those 50 stars.

Yeah. It makes it hard to add or subtract. Didn't always have 50 stars in it. No, it went from like, it didn't, you're right. But it's, I mean, if you look at it, it's proportioned very well. I've often tried to look at that flag and try to figure out how we would stick a Puerto Rico star in there, or Guam, or another country. Just ditch a state.

That's interesting. We dump Arkansas, but pick up Guam. I think you can only remove and not add. Nobody likes DLC. It'd be a real problem to try to add on. I'd be pissed if I had to buy a whole new flag for one additional star. Well, they could add DC as well as its own state

yeah that's a good point that is a good point should we eat this fucking candy that's been on my desk for this entire episode am I the only one that did this did you not do this did you not do the prep cabinet what do you mean did he not do it of course

he didn't do it the only homework I wrote down was to turn up for pleasantries. What's the other thing? What did I need to buy? We were going to eat everybody's favorite candy, and then we were going to pick the best candy, and then I was thinking that could be the official candy of F*** Face for the year. And you have them too, Jeff?

Of course I have. I've had them for weeks. What do I need? Well, you need, for Jeff, you need for Jeff you need? Starburst you need mini starburst unwrapped flavor Reds And you need big chewy nerds for Andrew you need big chewy Sour nerds and then for Gavin you need a kind Bueno. Okay, yeah, got all that. Um, um, mm.

I like that we opened this with the possibility of you, this has been a bad voiceover performance for you, these last two. Yeah. That continued on. You want to try another take, buddy? Nobody has. I kind of wish you reminded me during the pleasantries and I could have ordered something.

I reminded you technically last night when I asked, what is everybody's candy? I need to do this. When did you say this? That was in the Slack. Face chat. 12.10 a.m. today. It's probably one of the first messages you've seen.

What candy do we need for tomorrow? In which Jeff replied, Kinder Bueno, Chewy Nerds, your candy, which wouldn't have been helpful to you, Gavin. So I'd understand if you would have missed that one. Starburst chews only the reds. Now, you seem to say a different product, Jeff. Is it OK that I just have Starburst minis and I qualify like just the reds is what you're saying?

I have a bag of all of them. So here's the deal. I wasn't aware. I first started buying these at Hobby Lobby when I was going to buy Christmas stuff. And so I just grabbed what I saw. And I didn't really look at the package too closely. I didn't realize that I was eating Flavor Reds

until the other day. I bought a bag of the regular Starburst and it tasted like doo-doo. And then I realized that I had gotten the wrong thing. So you can achieve the same goal, but you just can that I had gotten the wrong thing. So you can achieve the same goal, but you just can't eat any of the yellow or orange Starburst out of there. Only

pink, red, and dark red. Well, I can eat them. I just am not evaluating as far as my... They're not a part of this. Well, they'll taint the palette. Here, I'm gonna open one of these things. Do you want to pretend that it's you? I'll just make the sound. Ready? Yeah.

That was just me opening the... I haven't even opened... Why are you slurping chocolate? Gavin drank the wrapper, it sounded like. What are you doing? Slurped the wrapper. Why would you do that? I have a lot of questions. I'm opening up my big chewy nerds.

I'm opening up. Should we? All right. What do you mean? This is invalid because we don't have Gavin. Well, I feel like he can play it. We didn't have Andrew for the Cosmic Chris. I'll just do Aaliyah.

Oh, that's fine. That's fair. That's a great point. What's a great point? Not a great question, but it was a great point. I feel like, honestly, Andrew, I feel like I haven't spoken to you in a while because ever since I found out you lied to me about Halo, I didn't- I haven't texted you about playing Halo. Are those connected? You're not wrong. It's been playing alone.

Oh, that's sad, that's lonely. Oh, these are weird. These Starburst minis are weird. These are fucking weird. Just pink, red, and dark red, please. They just don't look like I'd assume that they would look like. They're different than Starburst. That's what's good about them. They're like a unique thing.

Okay. They're perfect size. They're perfect to chew. I'm going to get some of your sour. I'm going to get four sour nerds. I'm going to get four regular nerds, although I know what mine tastes like. You know roughly how big this bag is, right? Yeah, I mean, I assume it's the same

size mine is. 191 grams. Is that how big your bag is? Mine is 99 grams. So mine's bigger than yours. Don't brag about it. No, I'm just gonna... I think I could eat all these at once. Oh, I've already eaten a bag of them today

Just what we've been sitting here. No, I mean it's at the same time like a hot one mouthful You just please take a yellow. Please take the yellow and hell out or it's gonna ruin I took out the reds to review separate. I'm just gonna try this we're gonna just put so you starting off by eating Everything that's remaining Wrong eat the shit. I don't want you to eat. Yeah, it's gonna cleanse- it's gonna taint this palate. This fucking- this motherfucker. Yeah. That's what I'm saying! The orange and the yellow is objectively bad.

It's gonna ruin your experience. Oh, oh, oh. Do they bite well? They bite. No! Yeah, they do, actually. They're great to chew. No, no, no! Not the entire fucking bag, you idiot!

Put four or five in your mouth and it chews like a charm. That's a fucking guy. Oh, he's getting air? He's coming for air? They do not have the texture you expect them to. Yeah, now how about you eat the ones I asked you to? I thought they'd be chewy. They are chewy.

Oh, they're not chewy? Of course they're chewy. No, they're not like gummy chewy. I thought they'd be gummy chewy. What kind of chewy are they? They're still starburst-y. They're like 85% as chewy as starburst, or like as, they're like a little bit softer

and a little bit more chewy than a starburst, but not by much. But it's nice. And they're small. So they're like, they're like, I would say one of these things is maybe a quarter the size of one Starburst. I think these are a better snack and candy. I'll give you that. Yeah, I didn't.

If I was in the mood for Starburst, I'd take these over, over the other time. I will never eat another Starburst again. I will only have these mini Starbursts. Do not try to eat the whole bag at once. This is terrible. I'm going to try. other time i will never eat another starburst again i will only have these mini starbursts do not try to eat the whole bag at once this is terrible i'm gonna try well i don't know what my shit tastes like i'm gonna try your sour big chewy nerds it's like all of my saliva is gummy flavored right now but they're not gummy in texture not gummy in texture no just my entire mouth tastes like oh this is not good i like your big sour nerds,

but they're not sour. They're way better. They're way better than the base nerds. I like the base chewy nerds better, I think. Big chewy nerds in the yellow package, but these are pretty good. If only we had a third person to make rulings on things. I know. Oops. Have you had these

candies, Eric? Uh, yeah, I don't think I've had a Kinder Bueno, but I know what Jeff's thing is. I like them. Why did you say it like it was filth? Because Kinder Bueno seems like a non-American candy. How does Albania feel about the Kinder Bueno? Because there's a commercial for Kinder Bueno, I think,

where a guy's riding his bicycle, and I think it's clear that it's not, they're trying to pass it off like, oh, we filmed this here, and it's not. It's a foreign commercial. You can tell. You can just look at it and be like,

this isn't right. So I vote Jeff's candy is the winner. There we go. There's the pile of candy. That's a really shit photo, Jeff. I don't know why. That's what we've established. Jeff's the worst photo taker.

I'm just happy that it's centered like i don't understand what's going on with that photo or where that photo came from that's not the photo what do you mean you just took it and posted here's the photo i took and posted i don't understand why it came out differently what are you talking about those Those are separate images. What are you saying? I must have taken the other one without even realizing it. He took like a, I'm putting my phone back in my pocket photo. Yeah, I took a, I'm putting my phone back in my pocket photo for sure. All right, I'm going to try this kinder boy now. Oh, it is sideways.

You're right. That is, I'm putting the phone back down. Yeah. That's incredible. And you just sent it without even looking at it that could have been bad I'm glad you're wearing pants well I just sent like the most recent photo because that's the one I thought I took I wasn't really

this is nice which one do you want now? the Kinder Bueno it has like a it's a really creamy chocolate and then the wafer is really it's really light it's a really creamy chocolate. And then the wafer is really, it's really light. It's a really light wafer. Yeah, I think it's made by the same people as the Ferrero people. I think it's the same company.

Which own, don't they own Nutella? That was weird to me to discover. Did they? Ferrero Rocher company owns Nutella. Because Nutella to me doesn't at all fit the tone of that company. Like Ferrero Rocher is like a fancy ass chocolate in my head. owns Nutella because Nutella to me doesn't at all fit the tone of that company. Like for a rocher, it's like a fancy ass chocolate in my head. Yeah.

Nutella. You buy a three pack for like three quid. Feels like a kid's candy. Like it feels like a child spread. I could have phrased that better, but like a schoolyard. I'm just going to give up. I'm going to describe what I think Nutella is. That's the episode title.

A child spread. Alright, so we'll need to get these candies to Gavin so he can be the final determiner. I'm going to go ahead and go one to four. I'm going to go mini Starburst All the Reds, number one. Kinder Bueno, close second. Third, the Yellow Bag of number one. Kinder Bueno, close second.

Third, The Yellow Bag of Nerds. Fourth, Andrew's Candy. No offense. I like you did it in the least tense order. No suspense involved. Do you really care? Do you want me to go back and do it the other way? All right, coming in at fourth place.

I liked it a lot. It's my least favorite of the bunch, but I still thought it was really good. I'm still going to eat it all the time. I'm still a fan. I'm still a stan. Don't get me wrong, but you got to have a best, and you got to have a worst of the bunch. Worst of the bunch for me, number four, Sour Big Chewy Nerds.

Coming in just a little bit edging out, the Sour Big Chewy Nerds is going to be the yellow bag of nerds. That's right. In third place, bronze medal goes to big, chewy nerds, no sour. Then it was a tight, tight, tight race between silver and gold. Very tight race. The Olympics has not seen a race this tight in years, right? But coming in at number two, runner up in case number one can't fulfill its duties as

best candy in the world number two Kinder Bueno which leaves number one mini starburst all the red what is what is the reverse of the salad cream because that's what that was that was equally we did that was

not needed you got what you asked for. I agree. Well, that's like the reverse of a salad cream like you delivered but it was equally. Once again, I don't need the tux after the wedding. Nick and Eric both liked it. Thank you guys. I thought it was good too. I'm a fan

but it's just a reverse of a salad cream. You mean I did the opposite of what you did with the salad cream? Well thanks for that compliment. I appreciate it, buddy. I guess it is a compliment. I guess this is a weird way. I didn't mean it as one, but I guess I did just compliment you.

That wasn't intended to be that. Is that the first unintended, unenthusiastic compliment we've had in face? You can't take it back. It was a compliment. It's a regulation compliment. It's on the books. It's not a regulation 22 regulation compliment eric eric is our judge he said it schwarzenegger nick said it as well congratulations to me what do you even call that like a side-handed compliment a sideways compliment yeah sideways compliment fun fact about the sideways compliment. Fun fact about the sideways compliment. Dusty Baker invented it in like 1985.

Interesting. Yeah, it's a great fact. I like that this podcast started as a baseball podcast about a baseball player that we no longer ever talk about or mention in this what the show is named after. On our list of baseball people. Wait, are you not doing your list of candy? Who cares about my list?

I can't top what Jeff just did. He reversed salad creamed it. I can't do anything better than that. But I can't. God damn it. All right, well, if nobody else is going to review the candy, then I get to declare a mini starburst. All the reds play the reds.

Well, I want to hear Andrew's shit, too. And then I need you to tie break it, Gavin, and then we may have to get Nick and Eric involved. Well, where did you could you go through the list again and where you ranked them? Because I don't want to tie break a rank of four. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to assign a point value to each one. The first

place gets four points. Second place gets two or three. You see what I'm saying? You've Andrewed me all up. All right. So four points right now. Andrewed me all up.

Four points right now for mini Starburst Flavor Reds. Three points for a Kinder Bueno. We've got two points for the Big Chewy Nerds and then one point for the Sour Big Chewy Nerds. So then we'll have Andrews and the Gavins. This system only works if we anonymously submit beforehand, because I'm going to put four points on the sour nerds because I just, I want them in.

And that's fine. I'm putting one point on the starburst because it's currently as four. I'll just do the reverse of what Jeff has done. You're a fool. Why am I a fool? Now, see, here's the problem.

I asked for honest evaluations. Yeah candy and Andrew just gamified it Well you just did this whole thing! You're trying- No! Listen! No, be quiet for a second you idiot. You just said you wanted Gavin to be the tiebreaker Stupid if I give four to your number one, then there's no tiebreak. We don't need the other number I said he's there to be the tiebreaker if we need it. I misheard that. I apologize.

That's on me. That's just a direct apology. I didn't hear that part. I missed that part of what you said. I apologize. Number four, I would make, if we're doing a genuine review,

that was a regulation apology. This is going to be a regulation review in this moment. I'm going to be honest about my opinions of all these in the same scoring system i'm doing the same scoring system but i'm gonna do it should i no no not that okay do i go lowest first do i build to what my number one is number number one when getting one point the lowest on this totem pole is to me the standard nerds that was a great burp that i threw in at the same time a little extra for you on the side i'm going with the gummy nerds number one because there is a superior version of it wait number four number one

number one one point getting one point at the bottom number four no no it's not number four. No, no, it's not. Number four is the most. Coming in at number four with one point. Okay, we're getting these all mixed up. I'm giving... You are. No, it's coming in at number four, but it's getting one point on the list. Okay, correct. One point coming in at four with one point

is the standard nerds, the regular... Okay, yellow bag nerds. The yellow bag nerds, The regular, the gummy nerds. Yellow bag nerds. The yellow bag nerds, one point, fourth place. Coming in at third place is the Starburst Shoes. I just am not the biggest Starburst fan.

I don't really care for them, but for what they are, they're good. I think that's the best version of Starburst. They've innovated on a thing that I didn't realize they could innovate on. I give them credit. They get two points in third place.

In second place, with three points, is the Kinder Bueno. They're good. Wow. I'm never going to opt for these, but I'll never be sad that they're there. And number one, because I picked it, it's like obviously a bias.

My favorite personal candy is the Sour Nerd, so I'm giving that four points. So that gives us a two-place tie, a two-candy tie for first right now, right? With the Starburst having four points for me and two for you, that gives them six. And then my Kinder Bueno and your Kinder Bueno both coming in with three points each gives them six.

So Gavin will have to be the deciding factor. We'll have to get these candies to him. I wonder which you will pick. His favorite candy or some other candy. Well, it depends. He hasn't tried them. That's fair. And also, if I think that the Kinder Bueno is the second best candy and you think the Kinder Bueno is the second best candy and Gavin truly thinks it's the best candy, then it is clearly the winner.

I don't. I feel like this is going the winner i don't i feel like this is gonna because i don't i can we all agree outside of gavin the candor bueno is not the best candy it's a very good candy but it's not the best candy that's what he put up dude we can only know what he gives i understand this is what's gonna fucking happen though, though. What is that Denzel Washington train movie? Money Train? No, it's not that. It's not the Taking a Pelham 123.

What was the name of it? Unbreakable? No. What was the name of it? Bruce Willis? No, it's Chris Pine and Denzel Washington. And it's a Tony Scott movie. I watched that movie on mute on a plane once.

I didn't hear a single word that was said, but I watched the entire movie. Unstoppable, thank you. We have an unstoppable problem with this candy thing. Nick said train in day. If you go on, let me pull it up. I think Unstoppable has like a 90 on Rotten Tomatoes, but nobody thinks it's great.

It's just universally like that was a totally fine movie. Like it's solid. Like it's solid. Nobody hates it. It has an 87. That is not an 87% movie. Can I just say, if you are a regulation listener or a comment lever,

or you're a regulation listener who would like to become a comment lever, let us know how you feel about Unstoppable. Is it your favorite train movie? Is it your favorite movie? Is Andrew wrong? Are there hardcore Pine and Washington train stands out there? We want to know.

What is my favorite train movie? Hmm. I didn't like the Taking a Palm 123, but I haven't seen the original. John Travolta one was not great. Was that Snowpiercer? It's a good train movie does speed count why would speed be a train movie because it ends on a train

yeah but it's not the point of the movie is not the train what about the core that's sort of a train that goes into the earth that's an earth train that's a great bad movie what was that Gene Wilder uh train oh yeah silver streak with uh gene wilder

and richard prior yeah that was a train movie although that movie's from the 70s and it's a it was an edgy comedy so it probably hasn't held up well in terms of being problematic i remember the seed that you're referring to yes yes yes yes yes also if you guys would look i noted i posted a picture of the sour big chewy nerds i don't know if you guys notice it but doesn't it look like that nerd is taking a is is shitting out a pink does like doesn't that seem like they should have noticed they should have caught that in the bottom rung of a set of anal beads yeah it really does seem like he's he's got the last anal bead sticking out you you think they would have caught that i would argue i would argue the the big chewy one is even worse jeff i ripped unfortunately where if you could look at the

big chewy on the right it is right yes it It is like Protruding out of his ass Like it is Halfway out It looks like He just took a shit And the pink one Please It's a hemorrhoid

He's got a hemorrhoid Please Yeah let's get this picture I can't see And then Eric's gonna Lose his mind If we don't stop talking So I'll add that up

I'll add this And we'll end it Also we should mention While I'm uploading this Tiki mugs are on sale now Unless they've already sold out. Eric and I did a ton of videos and promo for them the other day and had just the nicest time together.

There you go. Oh, it looks like a little... He's licking his lips. He's so happy. It's like somebody pushed this thing back in. Looks like a little grape. Wait, are they nerds? Are we eating those?

Is this the M&M problem? the yeah we're eating we're eating nerd shit well no that's not what i meant but that's also terrible well what what did you mean are we eating the physical nerd i meant like are you like the character the thing in his ass you know how like when you have a prawn there's a digestive track that you can remove from it like right are we so are you are you asking like that's like a cheap prawn still has the shit track down the million dollars but you have to eat a bag of prawn colons are they are they deep fried yeah i'll eat them wait no no wait i've been eating deveined nerds All day long Why isn't Tempura used In more places

Like why Okay goodbye Thank you What do you mean Eric Thank you goodbye Have a good Tiki mug Start our

Rishiki.com Goodbye But we're cutting All the pleasantries out No no The pleasantries are in Oh no And also it's been

Well over an hour He's got a point Yeah No I do I know I'm very aware Nobody said anything While someone was

Opening something I agree with Gavin Also Once again Yeah, no, I do. I know. I'm very aware. Nobody said anything while someone was opening something. I agree with Gavin. Also, once again, why doesn't, like, McDonald's do temper? I also, for the record, I hacked away this morning. I was hacking this morning. I hacked away. I got another three.

I got three more hotcakes. Jeff, just say goodbye. I gotta go. I'm tired. The hack still works. I'm going back to bed. I'm going back to bed. Jeff, just say goodbye. I gotta go. I'm tired. The hack still works. I'm going back to bed. I'm going back to bed. All right. Good night.

Bye. Hey, guys. Minor League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Episode 91 is Spanky Dandy. We still don't know the origins of Jingle, Jingle, Jingle. Gavin gets to the bottom of illegal knobs. Someone stole the idea of using witchcraft to fix football. Gavin's razor blade slot is full. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.

All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.