F**kface - Recycled Gavin/Andrew Conversations // Can You Get a Hot Dog on That Thing [49]

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

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Hello and welcome to episode 49 of the F*** Face podcast. Hard to believe it's already been 49 weeks of this nonsense. My name is Geoff Ramsey, and with me as always, Andrew Panton and Gavin Free. Hello, boys. Hello! Whoa, Gavin's here. I was trying to draw it out to give him time to sneak on in. Really? I thought the opposite. I thought you were going to try to throw him under the bus and have him be quiet.

Did you not hear me say hello before we started? No, we did not hear that. Why did you start then? Well, it's possible I was doing what Andrew said and not the thing I said. What? Oh, yeah, trying to throw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, definitely.

Yeah. What do you mean? Nobody believed that you were trying to drag it out to be supportive. Why start it in the first place if that's your motive? Yeah, to catch him off guard and guard and to ruin a tiny moment of his didn't someone ask me if i was recording and i said yes out loud no no nobody heard anything here's what happened hold on because the audience they might not have heard it let's recreate it all right uh andrew you be gavin okay and i'll be us okay are you ready yep i'm ready oh here

gavin's here uh hey Gavin, are you recording? Okay, I guess we'll start. Interesting. I don't know what happened. That might be the best impression I've ever done. I feel like I should get credit for that. You fucking nailed it. You nailed it. Nailed it. How are you guys doing? I'm doing well. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you doing, Gavin? Good. I heard Mr. Panton got a package this week. I did. Before we get to that, though, there are a few things, Gavin. Gavin will sometimes text me

occasionally, and it'll be just throwaway questions that nobody will think about. Gavin asked me probably three and a half months ago. When did Christopher Plummer die? How long ago is that? If someone could look that up, please.

Gavin asked me, he wanted to talk about a Christopher Plummer die? How long ago is that? If someone could look at a flea buds. Yeah. Gavin asked me. He opened. He wanted to talk about a Christopher Plummer trivia thing, and he opened it with what's the most interesting piece of movie trivia, you know, and I'm still thinking about it. I haven't been able to come up with something. It's just been haunting me. So are you not?

Are you able to come up with stuff? And then you think like, no, that's not good enough. I got to come up with something better. Or are you just a blank? You're just a blank slate. It's like, yeah, it's sort of a mix of both where it's like I'll come up with something and I'll think, well, that's not nearly interesting enough to share. I certainly know something more interesting than that.

I think I immediately told him a great story about Peter Molyneux. That's like a great, but it's a video game. Like trivia. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I like that you're still thinking about it. like that it's dwelling on you yes it is i feel like you asked me that question recently or something similar and that's making me think that all i'm getting is recycled gavin and andrew conversations as andrew and jen i'm i'm getting

like sloppy seconds i'm pretty sure andrew asked me that no or something really similar the other day i mean i own the rights to that question so i need royalties andrew if you're asking other people i don't feel like i did dude it was that question or it was that question adjacent i wish i could remember what it was it wasn't i think it was probably about entertainment carts it's probably related to that i don't think so i'd assume why i don't feel like i just asked you trivia why would i do that i think i think he might? I think he might be taking your ideas and passing them off as his own. That's fine. As long as it doesn't make its way

back to me, then that's a perfectly valid path, isn't it? Fair enough. It is. But you asked me, Gavin, like two weeks ago, the episode just came out. We had the whole anal fissure moment. Yeah. It sounded like you were about to say we had the whole Jenna Fissure moment. Yeah, we had the whole anal fissure moment. Yeah. It sounded like you were about to say

we had the whole Jenna Fissure moment. Yeah, we had the anal fissure moment and then we had the anal trenches following that. Yeah. There's going to be some anal adjacent topics. Oh, okay. We just can't escape your anus. No, well, it's not about it.

We've gone past that, thankfully. But you asked me that and I was thinking about why can't I remember those things? Because outside of this, I've got a that, thankfully. But you asked me that, and I was thinking about why can't I remember those things? Because outside of this, I've got a pretty good memory. Yeah, but how do you know, though? How does anyone know if their memory is good? Well, because when I have conversations with people, I'm often pretty good at mentioning a thing that they forgot.

And then they'll be like, ah, I forgot about that. But anyway, I was thinking about about it and the first thing i want to say it's just unfair because you re-listen to the episodes i've never listened to an episode of the show you give notes but i don't understand how because you also give notes and no and i was getting what when have i given a note i'll say like post like edits that's my point is that i always listen to them and give notes uh because i don't know i just feel like someone should listen to them but then you have given notes but you give them in secret like i put them in the thread of the episode but there but there will be

notes given that never pass under our eyes and you were giving me grief about that last week. Dude, Gavin, check the Discord. Nick is putting Andrew on blast. Nick says he says that's true. He messages me directly. So we don't even know what you're doing to the episodes. And you're not even listening to them. Well, they're all things that I think of in the time. I've maybe done it twice, Nick.

If you could back that. Maybe three times at most. Uh-oh, here we go. Yeah, two times. I i've done it two times and they're both times where i was concerned that somebody could be offended by what was said fair play just like being mindful of it yeah a valid reason for a note yeah absolutely but i think the reason one of the main reasons why i i'm so forgetful in these is like how do you are you comfortable right now like how do you feel as far as like just talking is it you asking me that question yeah i'm asking you that question do i feel comfortable talking yeah right now how do you feel you feel good is this about to blow blow

up my face again it's a trick question don't answer it there's it's not a trick question at all don't walk into this that's a dangerous question andrew how is it dangerous that's to me you asked that question but all i saw was you saying hey stand on this trap door no no okay well i'll just say from my perspective i'm terrified right now and i was talking this is terrifying yeah like the social like with my anxieties and stuff yeah it's super scary to record this and then like just the concept of anyone listening to it i can't even really wrap my head around. It's a very odd thing.

I've been nervous ever since I found out that Jeff was lying about how many people listened to it. Are you serious, Gavin? Well, I do. It's like, I just don't want it to get shitty. I don't want it to go downhill. I think lying is a strong word, first of all. I prefer to think that I was joshing.

Yeah, I was joshing and then not giving me the update. It may have been more true at the time. Yeah, it's true. It was the withholding of important updates. Are you saying, Andrew, that forty nine episodes in, you're just as nervous now as you were at episode one? I don't think. Well, here's the weird thing. We recorded maybe episode one is the most calm I've ever been in recording one of these because it just didn't feel like a thing. I don't think, well, here's the weird thing. We recorded, maybe episode one is the most calm I've ever been in recording one of these

because it just didn't feel like a thing. I don't know. Like it didn't feel like a podcast. And then the second one, for some reason, felt more real. And then the night the first episode came out, I was sick. I was just so nauseous because I couldn't listen to it. Well, I could, but I just am incapable of listening to it. And I was terrified that

we had made the worst podcast of all time um jack and i just did that with annual pass nobody should start with episode one episode one isn't good nobody's not with any no no no yeah i feel like episode one isn't it isn't bad for like what we did. No prep for, for the launch. It just kind of happened. We recorded the first one. I didn't know how often we do it or how long it would be. I didn't find that out until after we had recorded. I didn't buy a mic for it until the day before.

Like it was just, it was a very quick process. But are you nervous? You're not freaking out before we record though, right? Like if it's just, if we're in the room on Discord just chatting. No, no no no no not as well like the whole day i kind of have nerves about it but like yeah once we yeah to me it's still a day where on wednesday night i'm always like i gotta get good sleep i gotta get good sleep i don't want to be awake all night and then do a shitty face yeah oh exactly it is really

interesting to me how much the recording of this podcast affects both of you in different ways affect you uh i feel like it affects you more afterwards like you're hard on it i'll be like that was a fun time by the end i was about to sit here and blow some i always wear socks with my shoes bullshit right up your asses and that's an excellent fucking point gavin i uh i do not tend to get nervous going into it because it just feels like catching up with you guys but coming out of it i'm a wreck you're right sometimes juror shut up yeah yeah but that's never you guys that's always only because I catch a whiff of my performance. I try to ignore.

I'm sure you guys do the same. I try to ignore me and what I'm doing when I'm in the podcast and not focus too much on me because I don't like me, right? And I would be distracted by me. And every once in a while, you say something, and then you hear it, and you catch a whiff of it, and you're like, oh, you're so stupid and ugly and dumb and distasteful and not good and unattractive and stinky. You have a bad personality, and your heart smells.

And then that throws me. But usually, I'm good. Usually, I have Jeff blinders on until we until we end. It's so funny you mentioned that because I talked to Gavin once before, maybe nine episodes, 11 episodes ago at this point, maybe not that far. But a long time ago, we're recording and Gavin asked me how my desk was, what my desk look like, like, was it tidy or not? And I just said, yeah, it's relatively clean.

I did nothing like I added nothing like was very clearly Gav was passing me the ball and I did absolutely nothing with it and it's a moment nobody else would remember but I've been beating myself up about it for like nine weeks straight it's just like constantly think about it to me that didn't register like I don't even remember that it wasn't even like you dropped the ball by the sounds of it you just caught the ball and gently put it down yeah like it's just I contributed nothing. Like you guys had a really good back and forth going and it was like

me very clear like, Andrew, let's put you in this conversation. And I was like, thanks, I'm going to do nothing. I'm just going to sit with this ball. Yeah, so it's funny

you mentioned that, Jeff, because it's like that's a thing where nobody remembers that moment but me, but it's been in my head. What episode was that even in? No clue, but it was. This is great. this is a great this is a great conversation to have i'm glad we're doing this is there anything like that with you gav do you have moments of like personal regret or failure

in the podcast or things like that that just irk you you've done uh yeah because i feel like a lot of the time some of the more spontaneous stuff is funny and and the stuff that i write down in the week if i bring it up and it isn't funny i'm just like why did i even write that down like looking back and i'm like what was i even did i miss some of the story like why didn't that do anything on the yeah but i know i know what you mean like when you think the story is gonna hit harder than than it does. Yeah. Well, not even having the expectation that it'll hit, but just like, I sometimes realize mid-telling it, I don't know why I've written this.

And then I think that affects the telling of the story because I lose confidence in it. Do you ever think like, I'm doing a bad job telling this story and I wish I could do better? Like, it's not the story's fault, it's me. Yeah, but what I do is I take that thought and I postpone it and I, I try not to let it affect the current moment or the rest of the podcast.

Otherwise I'll just be thinking about it. Like the rest of the 40 minutes that we're doing it. So I'm pretty good at just like bagging it and bidding it and just moving on. Yeah. I would say I have, I have two of those. I have, uh,

one, there are, I, I'm unfortunately more than a few times i have been so in my head trying to like get ready to tell a story or think about the way i want to say it that i realize i'm gone and you guys are so far down the road and i just come back into it you guys are laughing you know and i'll go oh man i have no idea where we are at that point and i always i always hate myself when that happens it's like podcast therapy i like it when it gets called out as well sometimes andrew will be or eric will be like wow jeff had nothing

yeah yeah yeah it's the jeff the jeff had nothing silence for five minutes i'm like ah i was just thinking yeah no that's totally true you guys caught me i want to know if eric gets these thoughts or whether he's just so uh you know listening in the background producer that he doesn't have to worry uh i don't know that i think to the degree that you guys have just explained like andrew saying that he was nervous when it was coming out and stuff like that i want people to like these things that we work on, but also I think that they're sort of like almost like ephemeral. Like, do you feel that way? Like, do you have these feelings, Gavin,

when you're on the Rooster Teeth podcast? In a different way. How so? I don't know. It's a different vibe, isn't it? Like, it's not always the same crew. I feel like there's more people, so there's different amounts of pressure. I don't know. It's not always the same crew. I feel like there's more people, so there's different amounts of pressure.

I don't know. It's hard to explain. I feel like with this show, if you have a story that you think is a real banger, that is when you get kind of like butterflies about it. Because you want it to be as big

as it can possibly be to kill as hard as it can. Yeah. And there's nothing worse than when that doesn't happen. I will tell you, I thought I had a horse falling off a mountain story last week in my head that was A++++. And I think I told us maybe a B- story. No, that was an A? No, it wasn't. No, no, no. That story was good. It was an okay story and i was upset that was an a no it wasn't no no that story

was good it was an okay story it was an okay story it was fine it's not as good as what happened and i i wish i could i wish i could time machine and go back and retell the story because i could have done a way better job i listened to it in the car this morning i was talking about this earlier gab i listened to it in the car this morning on the way back from set because Eric and I are in a big tentpole show that was filming overnight. By the way, an hour out of town, which is also awesome. Although I'm not one to...

I should not complain because Eric had it way worse than I did. But I was listening to it on the way home and I was fucking bummed out. As a matter of fact, I was going to stop on the way home and get myself an iced coffee from the Starbucks by my house.

And I, this is, I, I, I forbade myself. I don't deserve it. Yeah. I took my treat away.

I said, you did, you did such a piss poor job. You did such a fucking B minus job with that story that you don't deserve your venti iced coffee black from starbucks you certainly don't deserve your grande nitro cold brew and so i didn't get either i went i just started printing out forms when we finished these podcasts

and filling out surveys for ourselves we need to do i didn't realize we all took it so yeah we need to do like reverse highlight reels you you know, like in sports where it's like they talk about why the play went well, but it's just us analyzing every way we failed in the telling of the story. A full breakdown of this failure. I think what it is, is I think that this one is,

I think it's because we're, it's so wrapped up in our friendship. And I, you know, I really like, I think the strength of a lot of the the history of Rooster Teeth is that it really is friends trying to make friends laugh and I care more about making you guys laugh than just about anybody and so I do I you know I try harder in this show than other shows not that I don't try hard and other stuff I do but you know there's a there's a there is a little more like I want to hold myself to a I I want to be as funny as you guys, if that makes sense.

Do you think there's a group of friends somewhere where none of them are funny? I think there's a lot of groups of friends that think they're funny. I wonder if there's just a group of close friends who just never laugh and never have a good time. Oh, yeah! Do you just disband the friendship?

Are you just like, shit, I guess we're not friends. How would that even work? I think there are people that just aren't... Humor is not as big a deal to them. You know what I mean? More serious people. I wonder what that's like. It's probably fucking boring. I'll tell you what it's not

like. It's not like setting off fire extinguishers in your closet to hide fucking burning hot dogs. Sure. That's coming up, isn't it? The big puff of the fire extinguishers in your closet to hide you know fucking burning hot dogs sure it's not it's that's coming up isn't it the the big uh the big puff of the fire i'm looking into it people are talking about how i could suffocate because of the fumes or something like there seems to be a lot of a lot of health risk i mean i have i have a plan in my head that i just need to i need to like figure out and like just plan i mean carbon dioxide will i guess you could potentially

suffocate but just open a window well i can't do that because it's going to shoot up like i need to kind of zone off the idea well what kind of fire extinguisher is it is it the foam or is it the powder is it the co2 what is it got no idea i don't i'm not even really sure how to tell it just it would say because some of them you're not supposed to use on like if it's water it's important you don't spray on like dry chemical fire electricity i don't know if it's probably powder yeah i'd assume powder that's probably the worst one probably don't put it in your mouth no yeah um that's interesting to hear like all all your reactions because i was curious because uh i i did i did stand up once and that's the most scared I've ever been doing anything.

And that was... How did it go? Well, it was a full process. I never planned on doing it. Jeff went through... I don't know if it's fair to call it a phase or if you're still really into it, but at that time, you're really into stand-up. No, okay. First of all, it wasn't a phase.

I'm not a teenager trying to figure out what I'm doing, who I am in the world. It wasn't my heavy metal phase or anything like that. Secondly, I would like to get into this too, because in the pre-show that we have before you show up, Gavin, when we're just arguing and trying to have a real conversation, Andrew told me that I am a liar. He accused me of being a liar about this stand-up performance. And secondly, it wasn't a phase.

The way it worked is, I have a friend, we have a friend named Nick Scarpino who does stand-up, and he's in this industry with us. And I was fascinated by his journey through stand-up, so I convinced Rooster Teeth to make a documentary following him around on his journey

as a San Francisco stand-up comedian who also has a successful day job as a podcast comedian. But he doesn't let the two intertwine, even though he could, and make a lot of shortcuts. I thought that was a really cool work ethic and really interesting. And he wanted to come up the way the comedians that he looked up to as a kid did and kind of follow in their footsteps in the real on the real path of a comedian and so we made that documentary but as a part of that i had i was required to do stand-up and i caught the bug and i did it for about a year and i thought andrew would be great at it so i encouraged my friend to do stand-up as well and he did a fantastic job well okay so from my perspective and i didn't mean a phase like a high school thing i just meant at that time you and i when we talk we would mainly talk about stand-up

and it was the thing you were really passionate about and interested in we just talked about it more at that time um well i was just getting i was getting ready for the doc sure yeah but so just me being being a friend to you you had just written a set and i thought well i've never done that i've never done that i've never considered it i'm not really interested in ever doing stand-up but i would like to know what that process is like so i tried to do it and i talked to you about it and then you they were gonna do a it was like a stand-up event at rtx and you invited me to do it and i kind of have a moral rule i don't know morals the right word a personal rule, like a policy of if there's something offered to me and the only thing preventing me from doing it or wanting to say yes is fear, then I do it anyway.

I'm not perfect at this. So you're like a fear yes man. Sort of, yeah. And obviously sometimes I fail at that. And there are times where I've said no to a thing where it was probably mainly fear based. But I generally have been pretty good at always saying yes to those chances. And stand up was one of them. And so it was terrifying. Also, Jeff never confirmed if I was on it or not. He's like, hey, if you want to do this, you can. And I said, I'm not sure I got to think about it. And then I said, yeah, I think

I'll do it. And then Jeff never acknowledged that in any way. So I wasn't sure if I was on or not until the tickets went up for sale and I was listed with the people that were doing it. Look, I'm not running the fucking show. I'm just making the connection. Sure. Yeah, I just I wasn't sure. But then also, like, because I have crazy anxiety brain, I went through this prep.

I remember I think it was George St. Pierre, who's a MMA fighter, had this quote once that he liked to, like, run in the snow when he trained he trained like I was his favorite thing to do because the movement was so much harder that when he got into the cage to fight uh it was easier like it was nothing so I took this to like I tried to do my version of that so like I I do my set in the shower and I just blast my face with water the entire time like I was trying to do whatever I could so you're like on the day there won't be any water i was just trying to do anything to be annoying or make it harder for myself because i assumed if i could do it in those scenario and that that setting then it'd be easy for me to do i was nervous about how i pulled the microphone i bought a

rock band mic and i just hold it like i was just I was freaking out about it I have anxiety you were like if I could do it in front of running water 250 people are gonna be a breeze no I didn't yeah but the altitude training is stand up exactly that was sort of my mindset so I did that every single day for weeks and I had the set written down on my computer and I had on my tablet and then the day of I just had a complete panic attack and I spent the entire day it was an RTX day I just spent the whole day in my place rewriting everything I'd written before and just trying to change things I had a panic attack so I had a bath and I could you're freaking me out just telling the story I'm getting like secondhand anxiety I was so Gavin I was so nervous that I had a bath because I was just having just extreme anxiety and I couldn't figure out

how to drain the water. Like I couldn't make like I tried lifting it wouldn't work. I tried twisting. I tried all the mechanisms I was aware of for lifting a drain and none of them would work. And I was staying with four people so I couldn't just like leave a bath full of water. So my solution was I drained it via popcorn bucket. I just

scooped the whole thing out because I thought well somebody else will figure out how to lift it because someone will have a shower you like that would that would be like I would resort to that if I couldn't drain it for like half an hour I imagine you like you can't drain it for like two minutes you're like gonna have to bail it out it was probably like a sinking ship it was probably 10 minutes but this is in the midst of me having extreme anxiety about having to perform later and just like i don't have time for this yeah like that is that was the thought i had i can't make this stand up bathtub won't drain fast so i got a popcorn bucket it took like i don't know it was 75 or

so but i remember counting each one. And it was like really handy where I could like drop down, scoop the bucket and twist. And the sink was right there. So it was like pretty fast. So I drained the tub. And my logic was somebody is going to have a shower and it's going to fill and then they'll figure it out. I can't solve this at this time. And then they'll figure it out.

I can't solve this at this time. So then we go. I go to the show. And I realize that I've written my set on my tablet and my computer. I don't have a copy of it on me at all. I just never considered that. And so I get there. And within, I don't know, maybe 10 seconds of walking in the door, I can't think of a single word on my set that I've been working on.

And I've been changing it all day. So I'm meeting people I've never met before and I've been changing it all day so I'm meeting people I've never met before and it's so that venue is so hot is in the middle of summer just drenched in sweat and I'm meeting people and I'm just trying to remember my set and I can't do it no matter what like it's just there's a block there and I'm just panicking and every time someone like uh Matt Bragg came and said hi and I was just like I can't remember my set and he's like you'll be fine and I told you Jeff I was like man i can't remember anything and i don't even have a copy of my set and you said don't worry about it this happened to me it all comes

back right before you perform and i i was like okay i'm not sure about that but i'm gonna just keep trying because i don't know what else to do and as each i was in the middle of the show so as each person is finishing their set i'm getting more and more nervous because i can't think of anything and then jeff is gonna go on or no jeff what you weren't you and yeah you went on last so yeah so anyway a bunch of time passed i think it's i think it was i was about to go on as the next person to go on and i'm sitting in this room by myself like everyone else is watching people perform i'm just freaking out in the back trying to remember my set and jeff walks back there and he takes this huge sigh and then he sits down in a chair and he puts his leg his head between his legs and then he arches back up and looks to the sky and says i can't remember

a fucking thing and i was like like, you motherfucker, you told me I'd all come back, I have nothing to worry about, and you're free, you're having like a moment of panic right in front of me. You're like, according to my schedule, everything should be coming back right now. But he had no, like, he didn't mean it that way, but he like, very

clearly was trying to supportively lie to me to calm me down, and then he did that like two performances later just like right in front of me i can't remember shit so yeah i was i was lying to you yeah absolutely you got me you got me so then i yeah dude stand up stand up is stressful oh it's it's terrifying uh i i couldn't do it. That sounds awful. I'm freaking out just listening to it. Yeah, I never remembered my set.

They said my name, and I remember walking to the stage and standing there, and the Jeff moment never happened. It never came back, and I just stared. I looked at everybody for a minute, and I thought, wow, I need to say something. There's nobody who can say anything to get me out of this. So I think I just acknowledged that I couldn't remember anything. And then I remembered like one or two jokes from my set and I pivoted and it went fine.

But I have no memory of that performance. Yeah, I think. I don't know. I don't remember anything. I remember walking on the stage and walking off. You didn't do about half of your set, but the half you did was hilarious. You killed and everybody thought you

were hilarious yeah i don't and you looked you looked so comfortable up there well it didn't come across i gotta try and find a clip of that i don't think i ever saw that i remember doing um that at midnight show where it's kind of you just have to tell jokes on tv and i was really nervous about doing that and somehow i just got away with it it was fine like it went well and i just got out of there and i was just, my heart was beating. And I was like, well, that's over. Let's never do that again. And then like a few months later, the opportunity came up again.

And for some reason I was like, yeah, sure. And I was like, why did I do that? I somehow got away with that the first time. What am I doing? And I'm on the plane to LA. I'm like, it's stupid, stupid. Why did I do that? I, dude, I did that with standup for about a year and a half.

Where it's like every time you do it, you're like, I'm never doing that shit again. Documentary's over. RTX is over. No need. And then you're like, I fucking said yes again, didn't I? The last time I did stand-up, and what'll maybe be the last time I do it in my life uh although never say never but I'm really not looking to do it again anytime soon uh was another RTX and I don't think you did it that year I think you did the first year Andrew in the second year

which was the last in-person no it's never I did it once I wasn't invited again yeah if you're not well you were but no I wasn't if you're not I don't think you were there or no I'm in all the RT I was not an open if I was invited you have an open, I wasn't. If you're not... I don't think you were there. No, I've been to all the RTs. I was not... You have an open... If I was invited... You have an open invitation. I didn't... Wait, is an open invitation real?

I never believed the open invitation. Yes. Yes. You have an open invitation. Okay. Anybody that's done stand-up has an open invitation to do it at that event.

If we ever have it again... Anyway, if you're not familiar with it, RTX is an event that our company puts on Rooster Teeth in Austin every summer at the convention center. It's a whole thing. We do a bunch of programming outside of the event at nights and weekends and stuff to give people shit to do outside of the convention

center. One of those is a big block of stand-up because there's a lot of stand-up comedians who work in and around Rooster Teeth that either are employees or friends. Anyway, the last year we did it i hadn't done it in i hadn't done it since we we went on tour in australia and i had done it like on those shows which was goddamn andrew you and i were doing stand up in front of like 200 people

that night in australia it was like 1500 to 2000 people that was a whole other level of scary i will admit but the scariest was that last time because i we were so slammed with rtx and i had people staying with me from out of town for rtx and my mom was here and it was all cool because they were helping and stuff but you know what it's like at rtx we're going from like event to event to event to event to event um from like 7 8 a.m to like 1 a.m every night and we were like mega slammed before that with stuff. And I just, I thought, future Jeff, which is something I think way too often, I thought the set is a problem for future Jeff.

He's done it before. He's figured it out before. He'll figure it out again. Current Jeff is going to deal with the problems at hand, right? And I kept pushing it and pushing it. And then I thought, what do I care? I have a set. I'll just polish that off.

And about three days before we do the event, Emily asked, she's like, how are you feeling about your set? And I go, oh, that's a good point. I've been focused on this other shit, but I should probably sit down and see if I can remember it. And she goes, what do you remember what? And I go, well, you know, the set. I do the joke about the bananas and coffee and, you know, sucking dick and all that stuff.

And she goes, you mean the the set you did in front of those same people in that same venue at the same event last year? And I was like, say what now? And she's like, yeah, the set you've already done one year ago for those people. You can't do the same set again, idiot. That's not how comedy works. You do that tour's over. It's time for a new set. And I'm like, it's Thursday. And that show's Friday night. And I panicked hard. And I thought, well, I've got like 24 hours to write a set.

And unfortunately, I didn't because we were then we ran from event to event to event. It got so bad. And I kept pushing it off that we were driving in the car to the event with Emily and Millie and one of her friends and my mom. And we're about maybe 15 blocks from the event and I made them pull over and let me out. And I walked to the event because I was hyperventilating and I was freaking out and I needed to calm down. And in the space from like, I don't know, 12th Street to 5th Street where the event was, I wrote a set in my head. And then I got there and I didn't have any way to record it. And I ran around looking for a pen or pencil.

And then I walked around upstairs and I wrote like 10 things down on my hands. And I just stared at my, I just sat down and I saw I was paced, actually. And I didn't talk to anybody. I wouldn't let anybody talk to me. And I just watched. I just looked at my hands for about an hour as I walked back and forth. And then I just walked up on set or on stage. And I did fucking 20 minutes of stand up off my hands.

And I killed and I didn't fall flat on my face. And I walked off stage and said, that's the last time I'll ever do that. It was not worth it. That's creativity under pressure. That's insane. I guess that's a good thing. It was terrifying. It means that no one's getting complacent.

The fact that you're like 18 years into this career and it still makes you nervous. Oh yeah, dude. That's a whole other kind of scary. You know, we do tons of live events and stage events, but when you're on stage with like four or five, other people it's a whole different world than when it's just you and you're trying to like you're not going off the cuff you're trying to remember rehearsed prepared shit you know yeah it's terrifying did you have a moment of confidence

though after you did that like any is there any amount of time in which you're like i can do this tomorrow no problem yeah there's first off there's a wave of relief yeah that's like it's like double overhead it's like fucking endless summer like fucking sure huge you know giant jerry garcia waves and and jerry garcia is not a wave i'm thinking a different guy but uh anyway yes there's like a huge wave of relief yes and then followed by feeling invincible and like you're the funniest person on earth and you can do anything for about two days yeah and then realizing oh no oh no that fades really quickly and you go i dodged a fucking bullet i got lucky i i can't put myself in a situation like that again where i have to dig myself out

in front of people that's just not yeah No, I had my confidence lasted for an evening. It was an evening of invulnerability. And then the next day I was laying on the couch watching a movie and I couldn't figure out why my lower back was so sore. And then I remembered I drained a bathtub with a bucket the day before. I really tightened up my back.

Did you ever retrospectively figure out how to drain that tub? Yeah, that's the, you know, I didn't want to. I figured, I drained the tub 90% of the way, and then I had a moment of clarity, and I just Googled bathtub drains, and I saw like a list of six different ones, and I drained the last like 10%. I figured it out.

But I had already scooped out the majority of the tub. I like that you needed closure on that i did well it was just i was like this is i can't i'm not this stupid i got to be able to figure out how to lift this drain and i'm just panicking and freaking out there's my anxiety i have been really confused by bathtubs in the past like american ones like staying at other people's houses there was one where to get the this was so unintuitive to get the water to come out the shower head above the bath you had to like pull down the rim of the tap like where the water was coming out oh there was like a ring do you know i'm talking about

yeah yeah yeah and i've never seen that mechanism before i was like who the hell could ever figure that out yeah and sometimes you have to pull that ring and then turn it so yeah yeah yeah i was i was fiddling with everything around that tub i could not get it it's the same for me in hotels in europe in the uk like every american has to spend six or seven minutes uh when they get into a hotel in europe or the uk trying to figure out how to where to put the fucking card to turn the lights on and then trying to figure out how to make hot water so many people would text to me rtx uh uk would text me like how do i charge my shit i've got it plugged in and i was like you have to hit the switch switch on every plug it's not just always on electricity it almost feels like they're taken from escape rooms when i go to different places like the mechanisms involved to like try

to figure out just to drain the tub like it's just this overly complicated process Like a black light yeah exactly you need to figure out the combination Move the drain to the left if you want it like on hot like flip the thing to the hot It's a mess and if you don't if you don't figure it out in 45 minutes the art thief gets away exactly If you don't figure it out in 45 minutes, the art thief gets away. Yeah, exactly. How did you choose which internet service provider to use? The sad thing is most of us have very little choice because ISPs operate like monopolies in the regions they serve.

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And you've not been able to figure out. Let's get to that. Gavin unfaced the thing for me, which is great. And he didn't even need to do it. I faced myself and Gavin unknowingly then faced himself and his face reversed mine. What i feel like do i know what this is oh no no i haven't talked to you about this okay well it's it's true it's what happened so i have as i talked about on this show i bit into my phone my old phone i cracked the screen with my teeth and then it died and i'm not a big phone person so i just bought the like the cheapest phone i could get off of amazon that would do express shipping and i bought this piece of shit samsung

j2 i think it's called it's from 2015 it's just honestly the pictures the pictures he sends me the videos are so small yeah that they're like they're honestly about 60 pixels wide it's like you're texting me from 2004 it's yeah all of the photos look fuzzy and just terrible and the video i sent you was like a postage stamp and i can deal with that but even like the keyboard there's an input delay so i'll like be typing things and nothing will appear and then it'll all appear and it'll be one giant word like the spaces don't work and it can take me like three minutes to write a 10 word sentence. So it's just, it's this shitty phone. And I was complaining to it about Gavin.

And Gavin was kind enough to say like, hey, I have this phone. I'm not using older phone. It's way better than what you have. I can mail it to you if you want. And I thought that's super nice. You don't have to do that. But if you did it, I'd really appreciate it. And so we kind of talked about it.

We kind of, the conversation ended there for a bit. And I was thinking about that phone and I'm not a big phone person and it's the worst phone I've ever owned, but it's the only phone that it has like a personal meaning to me. When my grandma was sick, I was spending a lot of time with her and she doesn't know anything about technology or phones or stuff like that. There's no concept of the kind of outside world. She was pretty confused at this time anyway, but she had cancer and I was spending a lot of time with her. And when I'd spend that time, I'd end up ordering food quite a bit and I'd get food deliveries. And it was, I think the last day I got to spend with

her and she, she would never ask for anything, but my grandma loved hot dogs. It was her favorite food. And she had somehow made this connection that like the phone and the food were connected in some way. So I was looking at this phone, my piece of shit phone. And, uh, she just looked at me and said, can you get a hot dog on that thing and just to be clear she doesn't understand uber eats or anything like that she was asking me if i could like pull a hot dog out of the ether that's such a wonderful question i love that oh my god it's a great is a great moment and i'm kind of taken aback not just because the question but she would never ask for things really ever and so i thought about it for a minute i was like yeah you know there's a i thought there's a hot dog place i could order from i said yeah i can

get us hot dogs and she just lit up and said i'll take two and uh which is absurd because she wasn't really you know eating that much at that time um but then i ordered hot dogs and so this is funny too of like they were like cheap three dollar hot dogs and it's one of the nicest memories i have with her um and then from that point forward i would jokingly call my phone the magic hot dog device because that's what in her eyes it was and whenever i'd use it even though it was a piece of shit i'd think about her and that was that was a nice memory so i had all these thoughts and I'm like man it's such a face that the shittiest phone I've ever owned is one that I have a personal attachment to and Gavin's gonna send me this new phone which is super nice but I just I don't know if I'm ready yet to uh to to switch phones and so I picked up make the leap yeah so then I picked

up the phone I was gonna text Gavin this and as I was holding it in my hand, I got a text from Gavin that just said, never ship anything to Canada ever. It was, I guess, this is a pain. Yeah, exactly. So you expressing that like it was such a pain in the ass to ship it to me. I then thought, well, OK, well, if you went through the effort of sending it and it was an annoyance, I now have to swap phones, which is great. It freed me into upgrading my phone.

So you unface my scenario of like, I'm going to be stuck with this phone until it dies, which will probably be 20 years from now, knowing my luck. And so I've swapped phones. I don't want you to have any obligation though. You chuck my phone in the bin. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's just, it's like, well, yeah, I'm going to save the phone.

I'll do something nice with the phone, the hot dog device. But I was able to switch because of your annoyance. Like in my head, it would be more rude to not then accept to tell you I'm going to continue using my piece of shit phone. So I appreciate it. round from the gesture from Gavin to the special time you spent with your grandmother and the fact that you have that like wonderful memory every time you look at that phone and in the spirit of that I have to ask at any point during those moments with your grandmother when you were enjoying hot dogs together uh-huh did you do you and you probably didn't but just if this jogs memory do you remember you and your grandmother ever discussing hot dog color no i did not yeah that was later that's great just had to ask somebody just had to ask yeah no it's a great question somebody sent me like a color breakdown of hot dogs the other day i wish i had that to pull up um but no well they made it or like did that already i have no idea if they made it or if

it existed but it was like a very clear like this is what this shade is. This is what this shade is. But Gavin didn't just send me a phone. Gavin sent me. Maybe arguably greater than a phone. Gavin sent me a jar of Branston pickles. I got my shipment stopped. They were like, we're not shipping this unless you provide us a commercial invoice. And I was like, wait, you want me to write up?

I'm sending him trash, basically. You want me to write up that I'm sending him some pickles in a jar? All right. So I had to put like a dollar value to each itemized thing. Just a great another part I missed about it. The name they used when they called about Gavin's. They called me Don Burton, the person on the phone. That's the most wrong anyone's ever gotten.

Who's that? With either name. It's just it's so I don't know how you get to Don Burton. But they did, which is fantastic. I really wish I didn't read the box i got the pickles i'm so surprised oh you read the pickles i did yeah i had to put i didn't want to lie about what i didn't want to commit some sort of weird international fraud crime lose your green card yeah so i had to write pickles on it uh i can't believe it made it to you though because your

dress just looks like oh yeah like i don't know a kid with crayons just like spilled a tub of crayons on some paper yeah i don't know about you but it's also uh unbelievably expensive to ship when i made when i sent andrew that stupid little baseball bat the first one that was like it cost over a hundred dollars to send it to him i think i think you sent 117 a 30 a 30 cent baseball bat yeah i can't remember what it cost me to send i was too busy faffing around with all the extra paperwork to really worry about the price uh i don't know if it's set on the package but yeah it was yeah surprisingly expensive in it i uh yeah it is i was a great moment to read phone and pickle where like i just saw in the front of the package so then I got this and I asked Gavin

what do I use this on like would be the ideal thing and he told me our text conversation blew my mind what did I tell you I don't well you told me a cheddar sandwich which just I didn't understand it doesn't make sense to me okay hold on a second go ahead what is a cheddar sandwich thank you that's what I said what is it yeah I was just describing what he should have to pick Okay, hold on a second. Go ahead. What is a cheddar sandwich? Thank you. That's what I said. What is it? I was just describing what he should have the pickle with, so I suggested a slice of cheddar cheese,

put the Branson on top, and that's it. That's not what you said. You literally know... What did I say? You said a cheddar sandwich, and I said, what's a cheddar sandwich? And then you thought I was crazy for asking. Well, what does it sound like?

What does cheddar... Well, first off, nobody eats a slice of cheese on two pieces of bread and calls it a sandwich. That's a cheese sandwich. No, it's not. It's an uncooked grilled cheese sandwich that hasn't been finished yet. Oh my God, that's what Andrew said.

That's word for word. Andrew said, I'm not a cold or room temperature cheese guy. He said this to me over tech add that to the list a cheese like what so if you have like a ham and cheese sandwich you can't have cold fridge cheese or room temperature cheese i'd always want the cheese to be melted if i have a choice i'm always gonna choose for above room temperature cheese no what do you do what you want to you want like a bunch of melted schmear on a cheese plate? What I said to Gavin, Jeff, was that if you do just a cheddar cheese sandwich, you've done all the work of a grilled cheese with none of the pleasure.

It's madness to me. Why would you not just toast? I totally agree. Now, I have to, in defense of Gavin, I do have to switch back onto his side a minute and say that room temperature and cold cheese is totally fine when it's on the appropriate sandwich. It's just weird. It's like I had a cousin when I was growing up

who would put mustard on two pieces of bread and eat it for lunch and call it a mustard sandwich. And that's not a fucking sandwich. One slice of cheddar cheese between two pieces of untoasted bread with no butter or anything else is not a sandwich. It's two pieces of bread and a piece of cheese. It it's uh shit this is all i had i'm with you although i guess if you put the branson pickle on it i don't that may add another dimension to it is that i don't know so you're complaining

to me over text about how it's a cold sandwich i'm like look that's a valid that's a perfectly normal sandwich a cheese sandwich on its own i would eat that i used to eat that at school probably you said do i put turkey on a cheddar sandwich? Well, it just seemed... Is mozzarella cheddar? I said, no. Slice a block of cheddar, put Branson pickle on it. Do you need a diagram?

You said, why is it called mozzarella cheddar? And then you said, ignore that. I misread the list. I did. I had to order everything to figure out this branch because i wanted to do it on the show i didn't have anything i needed for it uh and so do you have that now i do i have i have a variety of items that i could try this branston it's it's one of the most quick to make and simple sandwiches possible i'm gonna be on the planet i'm gonna be

honest with you gavin i popped it open and i started to gag as soon as i did well listen you've never had this and here i am i'm i'm i'm poo-pooing the sandwich too and i've never had it this is gavin is is is holding on to knowledge that you and i don't yet have so keep an open mind maybe it doesn't taste like it smells and And Andrew, before we start, can I make a very serious request? Of course. Can I ask you to not put chow mein on it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, Gavin was giving... I said that I have salad cream paranoia now.

Because I still feel like I delivered on the request of salad cream. And we're arguing about what is and isn't. The salad is the canvas of the food world. You just throw whatever you want on it. There are no rules to a salad. Anything's a salad you add stuff to. But he was like, if you're making lemon meringue pie, would you just skip the lemon?

And I'm like, no, I'm a recipe guy. I will follow the recipe, but a salad is a canvas. I said you just put chow mein and pine nuts in it. A salad is chaos. Did you see what Nick typed in the discord i know andrew puts charcuterie boards in the microwave wait is a charcuterie board is that the cheese is that the cheese thing cheese plate yeah see i've never had a cheese plate so i'm open i'm open to being more accepting he did tell me on text that he's not a cheese plate guy

it's just i haven't had it, so I'm not... I'm saying I'm open... I like the idea of being somebody who's into cheese plates and just have never tried one. He ended up this text conversation just saying, this is chaos. And then I sent... I thought, look, I'm going to help him out.

I made myself today for lunch a Branson and cheddar sandwich and I sent him a picture of how the layout should be. Oh, that's super helpful. And he just replied, I hate it. Yeah, because it's just like you made a grilled cheese and ruined it, is how I viewed it. Grilled cheese is such a great item. You don't have to melt all your cheese.

Melted cheese is the best type of cheese, though. In my opinion. It's pretty good. Maybe you should try Branston and melted cheese and see if that improves next week. So you're about to try a cold cheese branston sandwich i got my cheese i'm assembling it as we speak i feel like you're both describing it in the most disgusting way possible how should we just would you really

not go for this jeff would you would you try this i don't i mean i'll try i'll try just about anything that's not snake related. Yeah, that's not white. Is it white? No. I was under the impression it would be, like, I feel like it's like brown. It's like a chutney, right? It's very brown. Do you want me to put the picture that I sent to Andrew in the Discord? I would love it.

Oh, that reminds me. Before we end, I need to send you guys two photos. Okay. Okay. I'm waiting for a photo to appear or a Canadian man to eat a sandwich yeah i'm putting hold on i'm spreading i don't uh oh from okay okay from where i'm sitting the computer's far enough away what it looks like shrunken down the thumbnail it looks like a fucking slice of white bread with a piece of american cheese maybe not even cheddar and then i think maybe 20 smushed raisins. I don't know why

cheddar here is like bright yellow. I don't know. It's like sharp cheddar apparently. It's not, that's not the way my cheddar looked, but that was what I could get here in this American place. That you fought so hard to live in. You know you like our cheese. Yeah. That's what brought you here. That, it just looks like raisins. It looks

like smushy raisins. I would rather have raisins on cheese than this. I'm pretty sure. Cranberries. All right, so where are you in the process right now? I put the stuff on the cheese. I don't even know if I like cold cheese. I don't see why.

Can we get a picture of yours in the same format as mine just before you eat it so we know you've done it right? That's a great idea. No. No, you can't. Why not? Because I don't have my phone around me. My desk is filled with ingredients I could possibly use.

I've got a whole bunch of stuff. Stop trying to put other things on it. Just make a sandwich that looks like the picture he gave you and then let us see a picture of that picture. Yeah, how hard is that? Go get your phone, take a picture of your cheese and pickle sandwich. I'm not even doing the, I'm just doing a corner of the bread

because I don't trust this yet. It's just a little, I could salvage, I could salvage the rest. You're making the corner of a sandwich? You don't trust it? Are you afraid it's going to sleep with your girlfriend? No, no, no, no.

This is perfectly good bread. I don't want to ruin it. So I took a small corner corner cheese and i put the stuff on the cheese so i'm gonna bite into the top salad cream this i knew you'd find it this is i'm trying it yes i am i just made i'm gonna take a bite of a sandwich how are you gonna make a corner of a it's not gonna balance right it's gonna fall apart what do you mean it's a full sandwich and i'm just putting it in the area. I'm biting into.

It's no different. It's a sip. You said it was the corner. He's only putting ingredients in the corner, but he's got two pieces of bread. Jesus Christ. It's like, Gavin, imagine you were sleeping between two pieces of bread and the cheese and the Branson pickle were your inner sheet and then the night you got

too hot and you kicked them down. And they're at the bottom of the blanket sandwich. My sandwich looks identical to yours, Gavin, except my Branson and cheddar is just in the top left and everything else is naked. How do we know? We can't see it.

With the plan that if you hate it, you can still use the remaining three-cornered piece of bread. I can still use the rest of the bread to make something else I enjoy. I'm not wasting the bread. If I like it, I'll add more cheese and more bread. It's not a hard thing. It'll stay balanced. Here we go. Wow. So you never throw away bread that's not eaten yet.

You always eat all of your bread. That fucking sucks. Why? Why? I'm going to shit my pants i don't want to try this again it looks i didn't want to try this again. It looks... I didn't want to say it like this earlier, but it looks sometimes like when Arrow takes a shit in the yard

and I don't catch it before it rains, and then the rain just hammers the shit down. That's what the Branston pickle looks like. It just... Oh, my God. What's it taste like? Give us a review. Let's hear it.

It's very sour and sweet. Okay. A lot of tang to it. Yeah. And tangy. Texture? I can't tell. I don't even know how to answer that. What do you mean? Well, it should be very crunchy. No, it's not. I wouldn't describe it as crunchy.

What are you eating? Did you get any of the actual bits? No, I did. I did. i got several of them i ate the whole corner gavin i covered it um i'm getting the impression that maybe one corner wasn't enough for you to make i'm not i'm not taking another bite of it i will gladly try it with a different thing here was my problem with your suggestion i would never just eat a cheddar sandwich to begin with i don't think i'd like yeah i wouldn't like this isn't a thing i'd enjoy okay so you want to maybe try it on a grilled cheese then i could try it that way i got a few

other items i could try it with i have uh a bacon jerky you could try it with that like classic combination yeah let's try let's try a little dip in that uh the old the old branston and bacon yeah bacon jerky dipped in branston pickle that actually is better than the sandwich i enjoy that a lot more the branston with the bacon jerky i'm a fan of that it's getting better yeah option i don't know what i should do an option two i guess i'll go with the hot dog i got a hot dog here what the hell are you putting it on a hot dog? You can't just dip it in. You're not going to get any of the crunch if you dip. I need the crunch?

I need to... I don't know if I like the crunch, though. You got to... No, you want to spoon it or knife it onto whatever you're eating. Okay, okay. I'll spoon it. Jesus Christ. Demands.

Brants. I'm doing a little... I did a little bit? Okay. I'm going to get the crunch. Bite into this hot dog. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine.

That's better than the sandwich. I think you offered me the thing I'd like at least on as the base test. If anything, you salad cream this. I've salad creamed this? I was just trying to give you a very... Those are strong words. A very non-complex baseline. I do understand where he's coming from there.

The more steps you have to take, the greater the risk that you are going to fuck it up spectacularly. Mm-hmm. So you like it as a hot dog? It's not bad as a hot dog condiment. I'm going to do the last test. Dippable. What's the last test? The Kit Kat.

That's not real. I can't imagine that being a good idea. That's not a real thing. It's chocolatey. It's going to be tangy. I got a Kit Kat screen. That's not real. Yeah, it is. I can't imagine that being an idiot. That's not a real thing. It's chocolatey. It's going to be tangy. I think in my head this makes sense. I'm going to take a bite.

I'd never order this. I'd never request this. It's better than the sandwich. This is better than the sandwich. You'd never request this. Where the fuck would you request that? Where would you ever find yourself in life when you would go hey can i get you anything andrew or can i get you anything sir and you go you guys got a kit kat

branson pickling we need to the next rtx we need to set up a little food trailer that just serves like muffins and bowls and kit kat dipped branston or branston dipped kit kat if i was in a fallout shelter and i only had branston and kit Kats, I wouldn't combine them often. But if I wanted to spice things up a little bit, I'd combine them. I'd combine them maybe once a year. It's not terrible. I enjoyed it more than the sandwich. I would never eat that sandwich.

That was a disgraceful sandwich. Okay, so I'm wondering if maybe the cheese baseline doesn't work for you being a Canadian. You don't usually have a cheese sandwich. Yeah, I would try maybe a grilled cheese next week. I'm wondering if maybe the cheese baseline doesn't work for you. Being a Canadian, you don't usually have a cheese sandwich. Yeah, I would try maybe a grilled cheese next week. I'm open to that. I think I would enjoy it. It's so hard to fuck up a grilled cheese, though. No matter what you put on it, it's going to be okay.

You do it well. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. Maybe you should have like a turkey and provolone and Branson pickle. I ordered turkey. This is all products that came from 7-E by the way, I ordered, I got the official seven 11 cheddar wonder bread. And, uh, the seven 11 bacon jerky hot dog.

Uh, I ordered turkey. Uh, they didn't have any. So they just gave me ham. I'm not a, I'm not a big hamper. So can't a big ham guy you're not a big ham guy considering we invented the ham zone and that we swim in it that we're all ham fans that's a great seriously that's a great point um it's sort of like mayo to me i like my ham to be sneaky i don't want to be aware okay the ham is there i can understand that when it's bacon you

know when it looks like bacon bits like like that that style of like hawaiian pizza that when it's bacon you know when it looks like bacon bits like that style of like Hawaiian pizza I think it's great yeah like on a oh really I'm a fan of that well I'm glad that you could try the Branston I did yeah it was worth the probably 45 bucks it took to get that to you

I gotta try and think I will leave it for maybe another 10 or so weeks but I'll try and find another obscure leave it for maybe another 10 or so weeks But I'll try and find another obscure British food To make you eat because I'm enjoying it I feel like we need to flip this I feel like I need to come up with a thing for you two to try I'm the guinea pig Send me a box of poutine or something

I tell you what You sent me a 12 foot toilet I'll take a pass on the next one Gavin can have it I haven't got anything yet i don't well it's more complicated i don't know where you live you refuse to tell me you have to send it to me and then i take it to gavin yeah uh eric's telling us we have to wrap up and stop talking to each other and that our friendship is

okay that's sad it goes fast isn't it yeah oh wow like that oh you know what though we do there are a couple things i do want to show um or talk about uh one of them is i don't know if you saw it yet gav but andrew hasn't last episode that aired at least we asked the audience to very poorly roto in uh don zimmer over et in uh in jubilee feels like so long ago now yeah that's they did they did that and i put it in the i put it in the discorderman's closet. It feels like so long ago now. Yeah, they did that, and I put it in the Discord. It's just below the picture of Andrew, if you guys want to watch that. Okay, let me have a look.

Pretty adorable. Let's open that. I don't know why I didn't click this earlier. I've been here the whole time. I'm just stuck in a loading screen. That was Sarklad at GeckoGeek6. It was very fast. Here we go.

Transition. It works, right? Yeah. It's not seamless, but it works. We didn't want it to be. Yeah. And then I want to send you guys a picture of this. Check this out.

That should be in the chat now. Oh, we got these. We got these in the mail. Yes. From a user. And I unfortunately, I don't have their name with me. They also sent a bunch of really cool old baseball cards. But I have yours and Nick's and Gavin's and Eric's.

And I have no intention of getting them to you so i have six of these i think or five or six of these uh i'm certainly i'm certainly not going to put them in the mail to canada so on your bike and drop it off yeah if it is ever at all convenient to me i saved the box actually what i did was i opened the box and i took mine out i realized there was stuff for you guys then i just put it back in the box and threw it in my trunk. So what I could just do was throw it back in the mail at Rooster Teeth and let them figure it out. But anyway, they exist and they're out there somewhere. And I encourage you guys to find out a way to get yours because they are phenomenal. These giant, we'll put it on the Instagram, but these giant face pencils with a bite taken out of them.

And on the back, they say like they're numbered of six. I feel like that's better than anything we've sold. It's pretty fucking good, and we should probably look into it. So anyway, I don't have that user's name in front of me, but I will be sure that we thank them in the future. I'm sorry, that comment weaver. And then the other thing is, I was taking a selfie, and it came out weird, and I was wondering

if you guys noticed anything weird about myself. Oh, that's so disturbing. It's great. It's like too high up on the neck. I know. I know. I,

uh, right before we started the podcast, the, the mail came and I got my Don Zimmer fan. So I took it. What I did, I I'll put it on the Instagram as well. I'll have it put on it

but i just i took a selfie where i replaced my face with don zimmers and his head is like 80 percent cheeks i don't know how he does it dude that thing was not cheap i had to pay like 40 dollars for it because i had he autographed this forehead there oh that's a real don zimmer autograph yeah it came with a certificate of authenticity wow i didn't want it i just wanted his head for like five bucks but that was the only uh sir your signature is ruining the fan it's uh it's gotta be one of the grossest things made about and for a celebrity it's not nice he looks pasty in it he's he his eyes are half closed it's just it looks like he didn't do a special photo shoot for it someone was just like don and he was like huh and then they took the picture he was tired he just had a nap he turned around

yeah it's not anyway it's so it's phenomenal uh so anyway that's all i wanted to show you guys oh that's great love it yeah how do you feel about that one jeff was that a good episode how do you feel about it what's your review of this one all right if you want to get into it uh yeah all right here's the form here's the survey here's what i was here's what i was thinking i thought it was a really good episode i was really happy with uh all of it but one part and i was gonna i was gonna call gavin out or text gavin after and see what he thought uh but we can do it here uh i think that my telling of the stand-up face i did where i didn't prepare and i had to do the 20 minute stand-up i think that that was i think that story was a little dry. No. It was an emotional journey. Are you kidding me?

No, Jeff, I was feeling your anxiety. I was there in the moment. Yeah, that was great. It was an A+. Yeah. That's good, man. Thanks, because I was feeling pretty down on that one. No.

I appreciate that. Yeah. Oh, that's nice, because I was like, man, I felt like I was dragging. No, not at all. Fantastic. All right, that's nice. Because I was like, man, I felt like I was dragging. No. Not at all. Fantastic. All right. Well, thanks.

I mean, if anything, you should feel bad about the weird ending that you've given us now. Well, usually I give you this ending after. But you wanted to do it here. You wanted to fill out the comment cards, so we're filling out the comment cards. I usually have this spiral 15 minutes from now, but that's okay. It was great. All right, let's end it. Yeah.

All right. It was lovely talking to you two idiots. Thank you for listening. This has been episode 49 of F*** Face. We would really appreciate it if you would give us a like and a review and tell your friends and buy a t-shirt or a baseball bat or a knob or...

I don't know, something. Or not. I don't give a fuck. Just listen to another episode. Or don't. Whatever. It's a free country. If you listen to From America, you figure it out. See you next week. Bye. We'll see you next time.