F**kface - Regulation Takes 2

Episode Date: September 14, 2025

Andrew wants more hot takes and Geoff, Gavin, and Eric will provide. Whose takes are too hot to handle and whose are too cold to hold? Steelers are already 1-0. Learn more about your ad choices. V...isit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to another piece of regulation supplemental content. We're back with our takes and we got a new takester, Jeff. Hello, it's Jeff, the new takester. The new takester. As I'm known around these parts. It's like a Flash villain. Oh, no, the Taster. I, the new takester.
Starting point is 00:00:23 I can come up and takes at the speed of light. You can't be me. You'll never catch me, Flash. Too hot to touch. I love a deliberate dodge from a pre-existing word. Like, Taker was right there and you just spun around it. It was great. Txter.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Tickster. It's not the Taker. That guy's dead. The Taker was my father, please. Oh, my God. My take on this might be that I love the Takedster. I'm imagining Jeff doing that laugh and then it does like a donkey. Kong freeze frame and says the takest up below.
Starting point is 00:01:03 It's like a Borderlands 3 intro. Well, we all are here with our takes. I'm excited to hear Jeff's takes as the takester. Does anyone want to open with takes? Does anyone want to go first? I don't know about going first,
Starting point is 00:01:20 but when I was thinking about the takester, I started thinking about the trickster, the Flashville and the trickster, which is Mark Hamill. And I want Jeff just Jeff dressed like that. You know what? I did feel Jeff was kind of sounding a little bit like Mark Hamill doing the Joker It's so funny because in my head I had one of those stupid
Starting point is 00:01:35 jester hats on with the bells while I was making the voice. I didn't make the other connections at all but I just in my head I was envisioning that hat Imagine him that but played by Taylor Kitch Now that would be Taylor Kitch's fault that would be a rare occurrence in which he just
Starting point is 00:01:54 took a bad roll from the get-go Yeah yeah Gavin that would be a rare occurrence where he took a bad one It would just make no sense unless it was like a Scorsese takeser movie. Oh, yeah. But I want Gavin to go first. I was the craziest take last one. I was about to say the same thing.
Starting point is 00:02:12 I want Gavin to lead us off. Interesting. All right. I've done the art soul one. Okay, I've got one. Here we go. If your dog shits on my lawn, right? That's a golden bullet for me.
Starting point is 00:02:26 That dog shit is now weaponizable in any way I see things. I can fling it back at you, I can mail it to you, I can put it in your mail. Anything goes when you leave me, your dog's turds. So it's not just if it shits in your yard, it's if it shits in your yard and leaves it in the yard. If they pick it up immediately, are you good, or can you still shoot them? That's fine, yeah. People's dogs shitting on my, on my yard, you know, five, six times a day. It's the old, the old fella who's leaving it. Gavin lives on the dog shit highway.
Starting point is 00:03:00 So can your dog shit golden bullet only go after that person or is it usable on anyone at any time? It has to be a revenge bullet. Oh. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, I don't think I can then, I don't know, use it against someone uninvolved. Yeah, I don't think that's allowed. It's a golden bullet with a name on it.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Oh, wow. Bullet with a name. I don't like the imagery of bullet here because I thought you were going to tell me that you could kill the dog without any consequence. No, the dog's not to blame at all. The dog needs to go. I hear bullet and dog, I think, old yeller. Like, my brain just goes, that dog's getting shot. It's Christopher Reeve's dog. So if it's Christopher Reeves dog and he, in the alternate universe where he's still alive and walking, and his dog takes a shit and keeps walking, your bullet says Christopher on it, or does it say Christopher Reeve? It says him specifically. Like, I couldn't then use that against your cousin.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Oh, okay. That was my question, actually. You knew exactly where I was going with it. Sorry, I was looking up bullet with a name on it, because I was thinking about it. This makes it look like you're going after your grandpa and your dad. It's just bullets that say grandpa and dad with dates. The dates and the dates look like if you, if it did work that way, though, Gavin, that would be the most convoluted murder plot ever for a film where you could just be like you hate Bill and accounting. And you want to kill Bill that I didn't need it to sound like that movie at all. That was a happenstance. But you have to now get people, Bill doesn't even own a dog,
Starting point is 00:04:41 but you just have to get people named Bill to walk by your yard in the hopes that one of them will let their dog shit in the yard and not pick it up. One of them's a piece of shit. So that you can then transfer that magic bullet to the other bill in accounting. I have to resort to like entrapment somehow. I was always surprised there weren't more COVID murders, you know? Like people who have like You know like say you hate your dad
Starting point is 00:05:03 He's the fucking worst And he's like health compromised Like I'm surprised there weren't a lot Like 19 year old dudes who ran out and tried to get COVID And then take it home to their dad And be like oh no dad I got you sick oh no I feel like the do we know
Starting point is 00:05:14 The beauty of that is that you could get away with it so easily It wouldn't ever be known It might have been the yeah That's a good point That might have happened a lot It really might have happened a lot I don't think we can rule it out I thought because it doesn't occur to me
Starting point is 00:05:28 me, naturally, Gavin, to weaponize the shit, I thought you're going to say that you had the right to then shit on their lawn. Oh, that's a trade-off. Oh, wow. That is interesting. You get equal, it goes two ways. I don't think I want to do that, because there's an equal consequence to the action. Because I don't want to take the shit there.
Starting point is 00:05:47 I can't, it's... Yeah, it is uncomfortable. I'd have to pre-shit, and then I'm like, the guy with a shit in a bag of my own shit. You can't pre-shit. Yeah, you can't pre-shit. I just think when I'm watching someone's dog, when I'm watching the poo come out of its anus and then watching the man walking it just turn away as if he's about to walk away, if I threw it back at him right then, I would get arrested, right?
Starting point is 00:06:10 Will that be some sort of assault? Probably, I would think so, even though it's like incredibly justified. Even though it's a return of property. If he could, well, here's the deal. It would be his word against yours. And you have a British accent, which makes you sound more honest and authoritative, I think. in the grand scheme of things. But then again, you're also a foreigner,
Starting point is 00:06:29 and we don't look too kindly on those right now in America, so that's going against you. Yeah. Yeah, I think I need the golden bullet. What if you lured him on your property? What if you ran out and said, hey, look, there's a bar of gold over here. And then once you walked over,
Starting point is 00:06:43 then you threw it at him. And then I think you're fair game. The irony is if he was on your property, you'd probably get in less trouble for shooting him with a real gun than throwing dog shit at him. Interesting. Because it's Texas man If he's on your property
Starting point is 00:06:58 You could pop them You could just say He could say he was threatening you Maybe How do you plan to weaponize it In my head just to shovel Just fling it back to him on a shovel See I think you need to build a turret
Starting point is 00:07:13 On your house And you just load the shit Every time into the turret And then you're ready to go Ready to go I mean how do I already have the dog shit No no no You're using other dog shit.
Starting point is 00:07:26 You can buy dog shit on Amazon, I think, in bulk. Sure. But I meant more every time it happened, you would load your turret. And then eventually, whenever it occurred, you just shoot immediately. And then you collect that dog shit as ammo to replace the one you fired. Yeah. What if you went just as aggressive, but maybe to keep you out of jailway, what if you just installed a giant air horn on the front of your house and then
Starting point is 00:07:54 as the moment is happening, you just blare that horn and it scares the dog to death and the guy freaks out and then they just run away. Probably stop the dog mid shit. Well, how do I know he's going to leave it there? I just, I don't want to affect the dog.
Starting point is 00:08:09 I think the dog's good. Dogs love lad noises. It's the, uh, it's that bullshit owner. That's my take. All right, hey, that's pretty good. That's a good take. I like it. I think we all agree
Starting point is 00:08:22 with that take. You know how there's frequencies dogs can hear that humans can't? Yeah. You just need to figure out the frequency that he can hear that the dog can't and then blast him with that. It's pretty good. Maybe find that brown note and have him shit his pants. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:08:37 That's what I was thinking. Yeah, that's great. Jeff is still, you know, he hasn't gone in everything. I don't know that he knows exactly what regulation takes is. So I kind of want to show him like all sides of what regulation takes as. That was a very shit-based take, but I'm going to give a different take. Oh, yeah. My hot take for this, my take for, for this episode is that Aaron Rogers is going to win 14 games.
Starting point is 00:09:01 This season or the rest of his career? No, no, no. What kind of like games of Pittsburgh? It might be the rest of his career. Air hockey, no, no, 14 games as a Pittsburgh Steeler, he's going to lead the charge. They're going to win 14 games with Aaron Rogers. His Achilles is healthy. He's been eating mud.
Starting point is 00:09:20 He changed to a different helmet. He's not playing the first preseason game, so he's going to be even healthier than every other quarterback in the league. He knows exactly what he's doing, and he is poised to embarrass every sports analyst out there. Oh, they're going to have such a midseason. They might win five games. They're going to win 14 games with Aaron Rogers.
Starting point is 00:09:42 I would be amazed if Aaron Rogers makes it to week eight. Well, you better be amazed when he makes it to week 18, baby, because they're going all the way to 14 wins. I'm not saying they're going to have like a big playoff run. I'm saying they got 14 wins under their belt. Aaron Rogers is going to come out. Everyone's like, well, he can't scramble because he's
Starting point is 00:10:01 hurt and bad. But that's okay because his new offense totally redefined, totally different, totally foreign to him. Who do they have? They have like Naji Harris. They have I don't think he's there anymore.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Is he not there? What about that? They got that tight end. Right? They do. What's his name? Not, is a Friarmooth? Is that the Teth? Yeah. Air Friarmooth, they got him. So let's just go through their schedule.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Okay. Oh, that's actually a real, oh, that's actually. Derek, you tell me where the winds come from. Yeah, okay. This is, this is great. Gavin, you're going to love this part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me pull up the Steelers schedule for this year.
Starting point is 00:10:39 I got it. Okay. Steelers Jets. Okay, Steelers Jets, that's at the Jets. That's a win. They're definitely going to win that. They're coming out one and no. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Seahawks Steelers. Seahawks aren't what they used to be. be. They used to be a real titan. They had the Legion of Boom. A lot's different now with the Seahawks. It's going to be a close game. But it's going to be Steelers all the way. Steelers Patriots. That's an easy win for the Steelers. I believe it's in division as well. So the Patriots are going to play hard, but they're just not the team that they used to be. Viking Steelers. That's going to be a toss-up. But I think. think that the Vikings are going to be too thrown seeing a former Green Bay Packer quarterback
Starting point is 00:11:26 helming the Steelers quarterback. And that's going to be, that's going to be a win right there for the Steelers. Brown Steelers. That's, that's a given. Yeah, you know what? It's going to be closer than you think, but it's going to be the Steelers right there. Don't the Browns have six quarterbacks or something? Yeah, they're, they're going to start a lot. They're going to start Shadur Sanders in the preseason. It's such a lose-lose situation. It's awesome. It rocks.
Starting point is 00:11:55 If he's good, they're fucked. If he's bad, they're fucked. It's so cool. Steelers, bengals. You know what? I'm going to say the bengels win that one. It's a Thursday night game. I just think Aaron Rogers isn't a Thursday night guy.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Packer Steelers. Oh, that's an easy win for the Steelers. Packers don't have anything going for him right there. Colt Steelers. That's definitely the Steelers. Like, Colts are terrible. That's exciting. Anthony Richardson already injured in the first.
Starting point is 00:12:20 injured. It's been like three plays of him and he's done. Tough. The Colts quarterback last season, Gavin, got in major media trouble because he took a playoff because he was tired. Yeah. He said I'm too tired. A non-ideal move as your quarterback. The game was like on the line. He's like, I'm tired. I don't want to do this. He pulled himself from the game. He was in the game and decided he was tired. Yeah. Yes. And he pulled himself. And they're like, were you hurt? And he's like, nah, it's just whew. Exhaustin out there. Yep. So Bears, Steelers. It's, uh, you're looking at, you skipped a bunch because you didn't even talk about the Chargers,
Starting point is 00:12:58 but that's okay because the Chargers are going to lose to the Steelers. However, the game after that, the Bengals Steelers? The Bengals there, Bengals are beating the Steelers again. They can't once again. Yeah, they can't escape that team. That's tough. So that's their second loss. The Bears, this is where the street gets a little, a little fluky.
Starting point is 00:13:17 The Bears are going to beat the Steelers. And then the Bills are also going to beat the Steelers. But Andrew, run me through the rest of the schedule. And they went out? Oh, Andrew, run me through the rest of the schedule. Bill Steelers. That, oh. That was a win.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Steelers, Ravens. Yeah. Oh, the Ravens lose all Steelers all the way. Whoa, okay. Dolphin Steelers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Dolphin Steelers, much stronger. The steel, much stronger than dolphins.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Steelers, lions. Oh, lions? It's going to be close, but they're already looking forward to Christmas, and you know it's the Steelers, baby. They lost their offensive and defensive coordinator. Yeah, that's true. Big shakeup. Steelers Browns once again.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Oh, it's Steelers all the way, baby. And then last of the season, Ravens Steelers. Yeah, how many games did I say they lost already? Was that three or four? That was four, I believe. Yeah, so they went out and they beat the Ravens again. Easy schedule for Aaron Rogers Steelers. That's my hot take is that Aaron Rogers 14 games.
Starting point is 00:14:16 I can't wait to watch the Steelers the season. That's what I. Yeah, I'm now so invested in the NFL season purely because of this take. Aaron Rogers, 14 wins. No one's going to see it coming, baby. Such a wild take. You're going to see Aaron Rogers put on the black and gold or yellow or whatever their color is, I guess, technically, and that he's, oh, boy, he's going to tear them up.
Starting point is 00:14:39 How many wins do you think, irrespective of this take? How many wins do you think the Steelers are going to get this year? Me? Sorry or Gavin? Andrew. Gavin has no fucking seven. You think seven? He's our NFL expert. I've been waiting for him to weigh in on this. I think seven went.
Starting point is 00:14:55 I pencil him for nine. Gavin? This is American football, right? This is American football, yeah. Four. Oh, wow. Four one. Yeah, Gavin might win this one. When Gavin said, is this American football, it occurred to me that if we would have said,
Starting point is 00:15:12 no, it's European football. I don't think it matters what country of football it is. No. You're not following. it super closely. Well, I didn't know if it was basketball or like ice or something. That's fair. That's totally fair. I just don't think it matters
Starting point is 00:15:25 necessarily. I think your knowledge is equal. Gavin knows that the NFL season is much shorter than the NBA season so, you know, for an NBA season would be ludicrous. It would be hilarious if you would have had an MLB take and we went through all of their schedule.
Starting point is 00:15:40 God, that would have been saying. Well, that's my take. Aaron Rogers 14 wins. Yeah, yes. It's a take that I'm heavily invested Yeah, see, Jeff, that's what it is It doesn't have to be something so wackadoo It could be something normal Like Aaron Rogers wins 14 games
Starting point is 00:15:56 No, I hear you man That's a hell of a take Yeah, thank you. When I think normal I think Aaron Rodgers He's out there, he's eating mud, he's doing his thing, baby My take, and this is something I feel very passionately about Keys to the city should work
Starting point is 00:16:10 If you get a key to the city It should at least unlock every door that is operated by the city for a year let's say a year. Like all tax paid doors. All tax paid that's a great way to frame it. All tax paid doors. That key
Starting point is 00:16:27 works. It should be special. When I was a child and I heard someone had a key to the city that meant a lot and then as I grew up much like Santa Claus, that magic went away. Now when I see key to the city I just think it's kind of a lame thing because it doesn't even work.
Starting point is 00:16:43 It's a pointless key. Yeah. It's kind of an insult as far as an award goes, you're giving them something useless up front. All keys to the city should work and there should be consequences if you make a bad call and you give it to somebody you should have. There should be consequences? I don't know. He goes in the person. They steal everything from a place. Maybe they're robbing a bank. I don't know. But the key to the city should be a thing that holds a lot of weight and comes with consequence if you happen to give it to the wrong guy. Didn't, did he get some keys at some point? I bet he did.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Would you be mad if it was a key card or does it have to be the shape of a key? Oh, I'm fine with a key card. Yeah, I don't mind necessarily the shape or the design of the key. It's more the functionality of it. Right. Maybe it's even a thing where, like, at the airport, you get to go through a special exit or whatever, so you could leave more easily or come in more easily. Like, you can avoid security.
Starting point is 00:17:37 What if it's a situation like my old house where you enter in a code to get into the front door? can you get like a keypad code to the city? Ooh, that might be the most practical way to do it so they could change it every year. Yeah, you can get locked out. But you have to remain in good standing with your key to the city. Well, I assume that they give keys to the city yearly,
Starting point is 00:17:58 but maybe they don't. I don't know what the general... It'd be interesting to see the ratio of keys to a city being given away. Like, are there certain states that give away way more keys than other ones? I don't know. It seems like there should, only be one key in play per city. Right? Yes. Absolutely. And I think it needs to be known who it is
Starting point is 00:18:20 because let's say we have a situation where somebody accidentally leaks their key to the city. Chaos erupts. There needs to be an individual responsible for that. Wow. Yeah. I'm thinking like serial numbers on the keys or if it's a code like they just keep track of, okay, this is the only person with this active code currently. The thing is I feel like so many government or like state buildings are open anyway, and you're only going to be able to get into, like, the closets and the supplies. Here's the thing. You commit a crime.
Starting point is 00:18:50 You go to jail. They put you in a cell. You can use your key to get out of jail. Wow. They gave you the key. There's nothing they could do about it. I don't think they're renewing your key for next year if you get put in jail. No, I don't think, you know, you'd have to be incredible to get back-to-back keys to
Starting point is 00:19:04 the city. That'd have to be amazing. Yeah. And that would actually increase your case to win next year how responsible you are using the key in the year in which you were gifted. Yeah. I'm looking at a Wikipedia article of list of keys to the city in the United States, and it has by state and then by city how things were given.
Starting point is 00:19:22 And in San Diego, I list only three. And the first one is the rock band The Beatles. The second one, that's in 1965. The second one is 2021 for a singer named Andra Day. And then the last one is May 23, 2023. the Lincoln Hornets high school football team. I would not trust a high school football team with a key to the city that worked.
Starting point is 00:19:49 No shot. I think the government would, all the elected officials would get thrown out if that were to occur. You can't give that much power to a blanket organization. Especially a football team. That's a lot of players.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Your house, man. That's crazy. Wow. Oh, it should absolutely work. It's all taxpayer buildings and the mayor's house. You get a key to the mares. That also functions.
Starting point is 00:20:14 You can use the hot tub. You can go there whenever you want. You can use the hot tub. Oh no. Oh no. I looked up Dallas, the city of Dallas in 2018. Dirk Nevinsky. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:27 2011, Michael Vick. Oh. Yeah. Well, post jail Michael Vick, but still an interesting thing to give you a post jail Michael Vick. That's tough. I like the idea of them giving. it to Dirk in an attempt to keep him in the city. I didn't even consider that. Like he was a free agent
Starting point is 00:20:46 that year and they were like, let's lock him in. He's not going to get a key to the city wherever else he's going. Are they often like giant, giant like ceremonial keys like the big checks? They are. Yeah. Yeah. Typically not that big though, but like huge for a key. I wonder if anyone got a giant key chain to put them on. Like who has the most city keys? Who's got the who's received the most keys to a city or to cities? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, Eric with the ditty key.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Uh-oh. Oh, no. They need to change the locks on that one. Yeah. That's a big key. Uh-oh. That is a big key. It's not even, it appears that maybe he has a few.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Oh, man. No! The biggest key chain. That's the same key, I think. Is it? He's just wearing a different shirt? Maybe he just travels around with it. I think he took the jacket off.
Starting point is 00:21:35 I think it's the same shirt. Oh, thank God. At least he only has the one. At least he only has the key. to the city of New York. Well, I know what our thumbnail isn't. Yeah. Hey, but you know who can stop them?
Starting point is 00:21:47 The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a key to the city is a good guy with a key to the city. Billy Joel's coming in to put a stop to him. Oh, God. This is crazy. A lot of celebrities with the key. It is interesting that the Beatles got them. That's an organized, like that's a blanket thing. I think that's the right size.
Starting point is 00:22:13 I can trust four people. Four men. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Saddam Hussein receives the key to the city of Detroit. Oh, no. That's wild.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Here's my new take. This is so crazy. If you receive a key to a city, there should immediately be a federal investment. investigation opened up into what you're what you're up to I will say the thing that made me really think about this that I do think is very exciting is I talked about recently in the podcast there's a Larry King estate sale happening and one of the things available is a set of key to the city awards that Larry King had won you
Starting point is 00:23:00 could buy Larry's city keychain you can buy four of his keys to the city there's another one by itself but you could get a set of four San Francisco, Miami, New Orleans, and Cincinnati. Wow. How much is that going for? I think the top bid is currently $200. Dude, it's current bid 400 bucks. We can break into everywhere in Cincinnati.
Starting point is 00:23:24 I think we have to, dude, we can say we're the only podcast with a key to the city of San Francisco, Miami, Cincinnati, and what was the other one? New Orleans. New Orleans. They all say they're like one of them is engraved on the back that says presented to Lerner. but the rest of them are pretty generic so we can just say that we got it. I love the idea of an icebreaker where you're like, oh, I've got the key to, I've got the key to San Francisco.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Like, wow, how'd you get that? It's Larry King's key. Can we bid on this and win this bid and have these and then take the one that says to presented to Larry King to an engraver and have them put an and sign next to it? So it says to Larry King and regulation. They need to stipulate that they're non-transferable. I can't believe you can sell your city. There's totally transferable.
Starting point is 00:24:15 They didn't stimulate. Andrew, can we please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, we just got to set up an account. Okay. Yeah, I say, I'm good with this one. We should get it. That's fucking crazy. That's so crazy. President DeLurrieking and Regulation podcast.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Regulation podcast. Just like, almost like, scribbled, scrawled in, like, the way. The way it's so. like it wouldn't have room. Like it says Larry King in Dead Center. So it would have to say and regulation podcast like to like the side. But it's all fucking like the letters like don't fit. It's like when you run out of room on a whiteboard,
Starting point is 00:24:52 you go down to the side. Yeah. Like the naked gun title slash through Larry King with an RIP next to it and then us like below it or above it. Dude. I got to win this. We got to do it. If you've got the key to the city,
Starting point is 00:25:06 they should give you a discount on benches. Yeah, definitely. definitely we could also go above larry king there's a little bit of room there and it could say presented to regulation podcast not larry king oh wow but i don't want to take away i don't want to take away his accolades yeah i was gonna say i like having larry king place i get fiddle to us on the key to the city is i think fucking awesome that's pretty cool too she just you attempt to use the keys oh man try to break into like kind of funny studio or something yep just like go door to door trying to open houses. I want to send emails to every mayor's office of this place and say, like,
Starting point is 00:25:44 dear, dear city, I recently acquired Larry King's Keyston City, and I want you to be aware that they do not work. I could not open a single door. You may need to fix your locks. Just a heads up. Oh, man. Andrew, this is a good take. It's a fantastic thing. They should work. Yeah, it should work. And I'm excited that we may acquire Larry King's Keys to the city. Yeah, this is pretty. This is pretty. good. When I found out my friend got a great deal on a wool coat from winners, I started wondering, is every fabulous item I see from winners? Like that woman over there with the designer jeans. Are those from winners? Ooh, are those beautiful gold earrings? Did she pay full price? Or that leather tote? Or that cashmere sweater? Or those knee-high boots? That dress, that jacket, those shoes. Is
Starting point is 00:26:30 anyone paying full price for anything? Stop wondering. Start winning. Winners, find fabulous for Um, Jeff, you've seen how it's played now. You got your first cake. What do you think? I got, let me look through. I got a plastic is the best drinking device. Uh, if you want to be cool when you're taking a shit, you could put sunglasses on. I mean, I hate how when I'm riding my bike, I've got to stop to eat. Um, do they, does everything need lore? We're very good. That one. Um, uh, I see if I talk about inverted versus voting. Um, um, inverted versus inverted controllers. Interesting. No, okay. Here's a take.
Starting point is 00:27:14 You know how in America, we're in a bit of a rough patch politically. We've got the one side that's on the left, and then we've got the other side that's on the right. And they seem to be just
Starting point is 00:27:27 drifting further away from each other. And it's just creating a lot of discord and and misery throughout every facet of this a great nation. And I've been thinking a lot about how to fix it. How do we reconnect?
Starting point is 00:27:43 How do we repair the sides? Right? When I, like, it's basically we look at each other's team, each other's side of the political spectrum like a sports team, right? And you're rooting for it. It's basically become tribalism. We've got the red team and the blue team. This has nothing to do with the cartoon I used
Starting point is 00:27:58 to make called record. If you say so. Okay. It has nothing to do with that. Other than that, that was a lampoon of this very same thing. So I guess thematically, they're similar. But I think visually we could start breaking down the walls. If we eliminate from the political spectrum, anyone's ability to use red in promotions or blue in promotions, there should be one approved color for all political advertisements. That color should be purple. It should be the same shade of purple. So if you are running for a Republican president, you're doing it on a purple platform.
Starting point is 00:28:31 If you are running for a Democratic president, you're doing it on a purple platform. And if we're all using the same color, maybe that will psychologically help us to realize that we're all pretty similar at the end of the day. Oh, so like kind of like reset the branding. Reset the branding, yeah, a branding, a left and right branding reset. Let's all use the same color palette and see where things go from there. And it would be purple. Gavin, do you think it's similar in England or they're like, they doing like reds and blues and
Starting point is 00:29:03 stuff like it's like they're like leaning in that direction also or what i don't think anyone's going for purple okay that's available purple's available yeah we briefly had a yellow and blue interesting like against each other like it was like yellow against blue no it's like a coalition oh huh but i don't i don't think red was involved i think the unifying colors is interesting i'm trying to think about it as like a sports team i'm trying to think of like shack and kobe like they're on the same team, but they were still beefing. Right, right. I'm trying to think of unity.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Like, I do feel like when you're on a team in sports, you're willing to tolerate somebody's bullshit, at least publicly. Absolutely. A lot more. Yeah. There's definitely room for that. So I do think it's an interesting thought.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Yeah. If it leads to championships, then you know what? How can you argue success? Purple, I think, is an interesting color, like mixing the two, and then just going every sign or whatever branding you use
Starting point is 00:30:02 has to be purple now. And it has to be the same shade of purple, right? Because what is purple, but, you know, combination of two other colors. I'm imagining the effects this would have on like two armies fighting. Or, you know, maybe it would be harder to fight. Maybe armies wouldn't fight because they'd be like, I don't know which purple got to shoot.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Oh, wait. We're all just, we're all fucking purple on the inside anyway. So why do I fucking hate you? Did that ever happen where one army showed up to a fight with the same colors and they just had to cool it off? I think he'd have to. A branding curfuffle. Did Scotland have to send word to England?
Starting point is 00:30:39 What colors they were wearing that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's very interesting. I hadn't thought about the issue being the color discrepancy between everything. I mean, there's a whole lot of social issues as well on top of that. I just think that you tackle it in chunks, you know? And nobody's looking at the color palette as being a part of the problem. but I think you might be surprised.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I feel like if you had the Olympics every year, that would also help a lot. Yearly Olympics? A yearly Olympics, yeah, because you cheer for the people in your own country. Like, it creates some natural country support in unity for individuals in their athletic feats. I feel like that could work.
Starting point is 00:31:23 I feel like a yearly Olympics would help unity. You just gave me a new take. Wow. Wow. It's crazy. I hadn't thought about purple. I hadn't thought about yearly Olympics. I do like the idea that if everyone's the same colors,
Starting point is 00:31:37 you're talking like battles become complicated. The idea of home and away, like they're sports teams. Like they need to signal to each other. Like this is my home field. We're going to go to war in my home field. So I get to sit the color. We're purple.
Starting point is 00:31:51 You're going to have to be offshoot. Do you think to test this we should do it in the NBA? Just for like maybe like a day? Like just make everyone be the same color. color like home and away. Like it doesn't matter. Like everyone just has to wear like the same color. And then we just see kind of like how it works.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Because maybe the confusion. That would be a lot of fun. I mean, that would definitely show you why war doesn't work with two with the same color. But I feel like at the end of the day, the whole idea of the politics in America is that the left and the right are hopefully working in tandem to help America using their two unique perspectives towards the same greater goal.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Whereas in basketball, the goal is to crush the Lakers. Everyone going in and voting purple. Yeah, yeah. Hey, purple all the way. I like this. I like, that's a good take. That's a good take, Jeff. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:32:42 That's my first take. The first take from the takster. I like it. Way to go. The takster is first. Everyone wears purple. That wraps us back around. Yep.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Gavin. What is your second take? Well, with the advent of Lyft and Oob. Uber and other car ride services. I feel like a lot of cabs are sitting empty. And maybe people are suffering because of that. Maybe the companies that make cab fare meters, well, those things called?
Starting point is 00:33:13 Meter, I think, is the right one for it. I guess the companies that make those are just like, oh, shit, I got no work coming in. Keep making them, right? Stick them on leaf blowers. Oh, wow. Pay to blow. You're getting charged.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Okay. All right. There's got, okay, pay to blow is maybe, maybe a different slogan than pay to blow. Okay, we'll come up with the purple party. I support it. Yeah. But purple, vote purple, and we will put cab fare meters on leaf blowers. Just to, okay, so I have a lot of questions. Yeah, go ahead. Are they coming with the things attached? Are you paying the company that makes them? Who's getting this money?
Starting point is 00:33:51 It's just legislation that they have to be made with them on. And the only way you can, I don't know where the money gets. goes. So maybe it's a thing where it's like a gun and it has a serial number and you have to like register it. Yeah. And if you have one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:07 And then every year somebody checks to see what the meter is. It should have all of entertainment's most annoying DRM methods to link your fair meter to the leaf blur. Oh, wow. I hadn't thought. Yeah. Doing DRM stuff to it is good. Yeah. And then you could top it up.
Starting point is 00:34:25 You can put 20 bucks of blow on there and when it's over. you have to put more money otherwise it won't work. It should be a thing where it's overcomplicated and if you don't do it correctly you go to jail because that's your fault.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Yeah, if you do it wrong, it's your fault and in five years there'll be a firmware update that makes it obsolete for that version of Leaf Plus so you have to get a new one. Sounds like our Sonos system at work.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Yeah. Those are going in the trash. Those are going in the garbage. I hate those speakers. I paid for those. Then make them fucking work. Get them to work in 2020. I think that this is a really interesting idea, Gavin, even beyond leaf blowers.
Starting point is 00:35:08 The concept of having, like, speakers that have a meter on them, and if you go over a certain frequency, you get charged. The idea that, like, you could inconvenience other people, like an inconvenience tax. Like, you're allowed to do it, but it costs. You got to pay a loud tax? Yeah. I think a loud tax is interesting. Leaf, you don't, do you think it would get rid of leaf blowers? Is that the ultimate goal of if they were charged per use?
Starting point is 00:35:34 Yeah, sometimes like if you're in an area with bad, with bad signal or something, it can't validate and it just won't turn on something like that, something really cool like that. Always has to be always online. It's always online? Yeah. Okay. Your leaf blower is always online.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Yeah. It's like a video game in 2025. Connection drops. You can't play it. Yeah. If you want a leaf blow. that's not online, we got a thing for that. It's called the 360.
Starting point is 00:36:01 I was just about to mention that, folks, one. I think that's interesting. Do you think it would maybe change your perception of leaf blowers, though? Because now when you hear someone using it, you go, what an idiot, what a waste. If you hear somebody in the context of it being charged,
Starting point is 00:36:20 would you then assume that this was an absolute necessity of blowage? Yeah, it would definitely make me more interested to like go and see what's being blown? Like, oh, this must be some serious leafage or something. They need some air. They need some serious air in this situation. Things need to be moved.
Starting point is 00:36:38 I think it could make you pro-leaf blower in a weird way. In what way? I think there could be scenarios in which he realized, okay, you know what, a leaf blower was needed in this. Yeah, I feel like you're right, because, I mean, listening to an ambulance siren for like an hour straight would suck. But hearing one for like a minute, you're like, oh, I hope the person's okay. okay, you know, it'd be like more like that.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Yeah. This is, it could be interesting. I guess you'll really learn, you'll really learn, like, when a leaf blower is needed, like a necessary thing, right? Yeah. I think it's like paying for water. Everybody'll bitch about it for five years and then everybody will pay for water. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Everybody will just pay for leaf. Exactly. It'll be like that. Everybody will just start paying for leaf blowing. Yeah. It just become accepted that it costs money to use leaf blowers. I don't think it'll slow it down at all. Maybe for like five years, I'll slow it down.
Starting point is 00:37:30 And then it'll just become an accepted fact that this is just a thing that, and you'll, you'll struggle to remember when you weren't paying for water or leaf blowers. Can you just buy a taxi meter? Oh, like separate from the cab? Yeah, can you just buy one of those? I don't see, why not?
Starting point is 00:37:47 Sure. It's never occurred to me that that's a thing you could buy. Yeah, it appears that you can just buy taxi meters. $365. That is a lot less than I was in. anticipating guy you could buy four keys to the city for that almost i you know it could be a fun thing to install one of these in your car and just turn it on whenever you're going anywhere and think about all the money you're safe if i was an uber driver i would do that just as a visual gag
Starting point is 00:38:14 this is how much it would have cost if you took a cab and then they look at how much it cost if you go that's about the same or you'd just be like all right look at so i'm all start the meter i'm going to start the uber meter and people are like what are you talking about I always thought it was weird how at no point with the, with new technology, does, like a gas, like a petrol meter in a car, doesn't have any monetary value next to it. But like, it should be able to tell you how much you paid for that gas and how much you're spending in that moment.
Starting point is 00:38:45 And I think they just don't want you to know. And make people drive less. Yeah, I mean, I just, I kind of don't want to know how much it costs me to drive somewhere. There you go. Yeah. I drive so infrequently these days. Same.
Starting point is 00:39:00 That's a great take, yeah. Thank you. Is it me? It's mine? It's my take. It's you. It is back to you. I still stand by my original take Aaron Rogers
Starting point is 00:39:14 winning 14 games, but I'm going in a non-sports direction for this. If you make a sequel to a movie, you have to honor all previous iterations of the movie. You cannot do... these weird sequel reboots that skip a couple of the movies that you were doing weird soft reboots on and then go, hey, this one's for the fans. I hate that.
Starting point is 00:39:38 I don't think you should be allowed to do it. If you can't do it, if you're not able to make the next sequel or whatever in like the lineageed franchise of whatever you're trying to do, then you're not capable of making it and you can't rewrite stuff that already came out. or if you are doing that, you have to refund everyone. I think. Terminator,
Starting point is 00:40:03 that Terminator, whatever like the last one was, uh, that just like takes place after like Terminator 2 and like totally throws out like five other Terminator movies, I should get refunded for those. If you are going to do that, I need money back.
Starting point is 00:40:20 You, otherwise, it's not cost effective and you need to just make it next one in the line. I feel like, the same way about the Jurassic Park movies. They keep doing this stuff where it's like, yeah, we're kind of like disregarding these other ones and like not, yeah, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:40:35 You can only build on the previous word. Exactly. You can't recreate, rewrite, or alter it. You can only add to it. The lore has been created. If you want the lore so desperately and you want to do another one of like Jurassic Park or whatever because they did Jurassic World and it just takes place
Starting point is 00:40:54 after like the first one. And I don't think it has anything, I don't, I think it totally eliminates like the second and like the third Jurassic Park movies. People paid for those. Yeah. People paid for those. Give us money back. Pay me. How do you feel about like Cloverfield universes where the movies aren't sequels, they just all take place in the same universe?
Starting point is 00:41:16 I'm fine with that because it's not necessarily eliminating stuff. I just think like when Rocky Balboa or whatever comes out and they just. It's like, how is Rocky fighting again? Doesn't he have brain damage? Isn't that, like, the whole point of, like, the fifth one? And then, uh, they don't, like, they just totally, like, eliminate that. Give me that money back. So that's actually, Rocky is a great example because they do something really interesting
Starting point is 00:41:40 in Rocky one where Rocky gets his eye really fucked up. And that's a big point of Rocky, too, of like, he's not boxing anymore because he could lose his eye due to how badly it got fucked up in the first fight. And they completely abandoned that story. line to create Rocky 3 and Rocky 4. It never really gets brought up again. Andrew, weren't we supposed to watch Terminator Dark Fate together? We were.
Starting point is 00:42:04 I was holding off on watching that, I think. I haven't seen it yet either. Yeah, we still need to do that. Is that what the last one is? Yeah, yeah. That's the most recent. It has Sarah Connor in it. I have a question for you, Eric.
Starting point is 00:42:14 How do you feel about someone whipping out the old multiverse trope to get around that? See, I think that that's the way they'll do it, but I think they're going to lose money doing that. And I think people will see it as a craven money grab for, oh, yeah, they're, oh, they're doing an alternate universe thing of Jurassic Park or whatever. And everyone will be like, fuck this. So that's fine. Go for it. But you have to eat the consequences. And like that Terminator movie did like really, really bad, like that newest one.
Starting point is 00:42:45 And it's because it threw out so much incredible lore from what were some of the other ones, Genesis. and that was that was not a great film I think that this could in a surprising way bring people back to the theaters because I'm thinking about the requirement
Starting point is 00:43:06 in getting your money back to me it's like when there is a suit against Red Bull where they're like yeah it doesn't give you wings so here's a fund that we are refunding people back with if you can prove that you bought a Red Bull between this time
Starting point is 00:43:22 you would need to be able to have your movie ticket to get your refund if they do a reboot for the movies that they were removing the lore from so then people would be theoretically incentivized to see movies in theaters so they would have their ticket to potentially get refunded in the future. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:42 So although they could be losing money by doing reboots, they theoretically might be getting more people in theaters under the assumption of I might get to see this for free essentially. Yep, there you go. Hey, it's a gamble you got to take. Studios, if you're going to make another Jurassic Park that reboots the whole Jurassic Park thing, go for it. But give me my money back. Pay me. Do you appreciate people like the company that owns Halloween refusing to let anyone kill Michael Myers? Because they need to make more Michael Myers movies
Starting point is 00:44:17 and they have one thing and it's him. Yep. Just keep it going. I mean, I think they learned from Halloween three, right? They're never going to make that mistake again. Yeah, yeah. I think they, these movies, my last, like the last episode it takes was I had like a lore-based take also. I just think everything gets too deep in lore, and I'm trying to dissuade them from making more sequels to like this stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Or if you're going to, make them better. And if you have to get rid of them, then pay me money. That's all. I do think it also creates a funny scenario in which movies, are being made that make no sense and then word gets out that they are this way because the head of that company refused to pay this movie tax. So they just had to make it in this context that the last one left. There you go. Nobody wants to see this movie in this way, but movie studio didn't want to pay half the refund due to all the lore changes. So we just are stuck with this movie nobody wants
Starting point is 00:45:18 what we're making because it is a popular franchise. Yeah, we don't want to lose the So we got to make another Terminator, but it's all in the vein of Terminator because we don't want to repay any of these people. Now we're talking. I think you could also create interesting room for like complete genre shifts. Uh-huh. Of what if Independence Day 3 was just about rebuilding the White House and had nothing to do with aliens? It's just a builder drama. It just follows a foreman.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Yeah, it's just. It goes from Halo to Roadcraft. I think it's a fun take. Well, thank you very much. Absolutely. That's what I have. That's my take. I wonder what that would do
Starting point is 00:45:57 for the Bond franchise. Oh, very interesting. Those are all out of order and crazy. Yeah. Yeah, they're all wacky. Well, if they're going to eliminate any of them, give me my money. Pay me.
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Starting point is 00:46:36 Try it with maple brown butter today at Tim's. At participating restaurants in Canada for limited time. I have my second take. All right. This is something I feel strongly about. I don't think anyone will be surprised with this take. I have history with them, with this show.
Starting point is 00:46:52 I think Advent calendars should cover every month. I don't think there should be only one month in which Advent calendars exist. That's just male. I enjoy... What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:47:03 No, it's not. It's not male. Because when I think of a good Advent calendar and you can relate to this, Gavin. December, you get your cheese calendar. Get a little bit of cheese every day. Some new cheese. You get a new thing to enjoy.
Starting point is 00:47:15 You get a new thing every day. A new experience. Just a little tiny, fun thing. I don't think that should, just only exist in December. Give me a June advent. Give me some, I don't know, maybe it's a lemonade.
Starting point is 00:47:28 A bunch of little lemonade I could try throughout the summer. Over a month. I saw a, if this helps, Andrew at Costco the other day, I saw a Halloween advent calendar. So there's at least one for the month of October now.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Yes, I saw there was the Simpsons one. Yeah. Which is, you know, I'm not necessarily into that product, but I support. an October advent calendar. Maybe it's a sign of...
Starting point is 00:47:53 There should be more months. Yeah. It should be. Yeah, I want to have fun every month. Why do I... Why can I only have fun every day in December? Exactly.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Expand it. Doesn't it make it more special? Don't you look forward to December? I do, but it could be themed. Every day, you should be able to break through perforated cardboard. Oh.
Starting point is 00:48:11 Yeah. Yes. Maybe in July, it's little sunscreens. Some sunscreens. That could be fun. Yeah. Some lotions. Maybe February, it's a different
Starting point is 00:48:20 jerky. I don't know. There's a lot of stuff you could do. February can be chapstick because it's cold outside. It could be some lotion for your dry skin. I think this is just an interesting way to determine. Like I don't really use chapstick. I don't even know what type of chapstick I would like. But if I could get a bunch of different chapsticks to make the determination, I would know. You know what be an amazing Advent calendar. I'm not sure how you would store it or keep it nice. if there was a cheesecake factory cheesecake advent calendar where you can sample the whole range of cheesecake you just get a different cheesecake every day
Starting point is 00:48:57 just a bite of each cheesecake wow I think that'd be phenomenal a slice of cheesecake every day just like a little cheesecake cube behind a door it wasn't a cheesecake thing but it was a similar idea where there's a really delicious chocolate place in town like they make their own chocolates and they did an advent calendar and it
Starting point is 00:49:18 was nice for me because typically when I go there, I'm only going to get what I know I like, which is kind of a limited range. This allowed me to try a much larger menu to expand my potential interests in the different types of chocolate they have. I feel like whenever I've done that with fancy chocolate, I just learn about all the different types of chocolate that I don't like. Oh, the 13th. I hate it. Like, did you like most of them, Andrew? I enjoyed most of them, but it's also a thing for me where if I were to just buy this thing that I didn't end up liking,
Starting point is 00:49:52 that's not fun, but if you put a mystery behind it and it doesn't feel like I specifically bought that thing, it makes that dislike a lot easier. Nice. It's like, ah, I didn't really care for that. I wonder what'll come tomorrow. Like, it's not, like, oh, I regret. Like, you just got a little bit
Starting point is 00:50:07 of bad luck as opposed to you being a chunk. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like that. Is there a need to unify the amount of days in the Advent calendar? Are we doing like summer eight Advent calendar days And summer 25 Advent calendar? Like do you care? I don't think I think it has to follow the actual calendar
Starting point is 00:50:24 And then I think the leapier calendar year Should be a lot of fun. Hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on. So you are, so these aren't just Advent calendars that you could buy any time and just start and do them as you want.
Starting point is 00:50:40 You're saying that it should think these things should like cover like a full year? I think like they, They should all be reflective of the month that they're releasing it. It's a new calendar every month, but it follows the days of the month. Yes, it follows the days of the month. Oh, so it does go. It goes like the full month.
Starting point is 00:50:55 Like, these should go the full month. Yes. Yeah, it goes every day in the month. So, and like, when we have an extra day. Okay. Got to cover that. Should we do a one-time supplemental where we spin a wheel of, let's say, 11 months, and then the month we land on, we then create an advent calendar, what would be in the Advent calendar for that month.
Starting point is 00:51:16 I'm all for it. That's fun. You're saying that like what, like, say we land on March. Yeah, then we create the regulation March. Advent calendar. I'm not saying we put it into production. We just say like on the first,
Starting point is 00:51:30 these are the 30 things you would get. 31, I think, in March. Yeah. And it should feel like it's tied to that month somehow? Yeah, it would be month appropriate. So it'd be like if it was May, you'd be a lot of Easter-themed shit. You know, like July would be a lot of fireworky,
Starting point is 00:51:44 4th, you know, a patriotism shit. I would assume September would be back to school themed. You know? Imagine getting, imagine opening your July Advent calendar and it's the 18th and it's like, oh, another firework. Oh yeah, but you get it, like,
Starting point is 00:52:00 you get it leading up to it. You're probably getting like an American flag coozy or something on July 18th, but yeah. So it's American specific? It doesn't have to be. Interesting. It's just the first thing that pops into mind when I think of summer in America is yeah yeah that's fair and that is my take i like trying different advent
Starting point is 00:52:20 calendars for different stuff like that that's uh all right so i'm going to write this down okay put it in the bit barrel calendar wheel month make calendar wheel month make yeah calendar wheel month make i write like charlie kelly reads great and with that we go to the takester for their final part of the episode. Okay. So my final take, my second take of the episode, I'm so excited to be able to get to this, is a take that Andrew
Starting point is 00:52:53 actually put into my brain about 18 minutes ago, so it may not be the most thought out take in the world. I apologize, I'm kind of writing this in real time, so bear with me. But, you know, earlier, I'm trying to come up with takes that improve
Starting point is 00:53:09 the quality of humanity, improve the quality of the world. Like with my first take, there was a lot of division, at least in my country, America, United States of America, not feeling so united right now. And maybe if we were all feeling a little more purple, maybe we would, right? Similarly, I'm thinking, taking that a little bit and putting on a global scale, right? It's a fractured world we're living in right now. When we're at our best, it's, I think, as a global society, it's when we're all competing in Andrew's aforementioned Olympics, everybody rooting their country on in the spirit of competition, good-natured competition.
Starting point is 00:53:50 And even though we're rooting against each other actively, we're all kind of rooting for the competition in the same way. And there's a, I feel like a real welcoming spirit where even if I'm rooting against Germany and I'm America, I'm still rooting for Germany in the sense that I'm happy that everybody's there and we're competing and it makes us feel all globally connected, right? But we're a couple hundred years into this iteration of the Olympics and things have gotten a little rote, a little boring. I think we need to spice it up a little bit. I think we need to innovate. And I think as a global society, we need to innovate. We've taken our foot off the gas pedal. We've ceded space to these billionaire dickheads like Elon Musk and
Starting point is 00:54:28 Jeff Bezos and Branson. And that's where we're letting these guys choose our space future. We shouldn't be doing that. Here's what we do. All right? We make a third Olympics, moon Olympics. Low gravity, The records are going to be getting broken left and right. The only catch is to participate in Moon Olympics, you've got to get to the moon. It's going to usher in a global space race so that everybody from the smallest country to the largest now has a space program. We're all working towards something. As a society, we're working towards space. And then when we get to the moon, we see who can jump the farthest.
Starting point is 00:55:07 I like the first event in each Moon Olympics is the literal space race. Yeah, exactly, yeah 100% Awesome That's cool How do we get How do we get there? If I'm just
Starting point is 00:55:24 Say I'm just like a guy And I want to watch the moon Olympics You'll probably watch It's gonna be on Peacock Oh You can watch it on Peacock I want to go and Rude on USA
Starting point is 00:55:35 Is there like a way to do that? Oh yeah There's gonna be a glow The International Olympic Committee, the IOC, will create a global moon-based village, you know, kind of like the Olympic village where all the athletes stay, because they're going to have to have that anyway. But they'll include hotels and amenities, and it'll be large enough so that representatives from each country can go root their respective country on. Oh, realistically, it'd probably be pretty expensive, like going to the Super Bowl and, you know, only the halves will get to do it. very few have-nots, but that's just the way
Starting point is 00:56:10 these things work. Would the logo be five overlapping moons? Oh! Yes, it would, Kevin. Yes, it would. Wow. That's a I love the idea of the space race being the first event.
Starting point is 00:56:24 I think having a race to the first, like an Olympic event where the Olympics start with whoever gets their first wins of gold is so fun. Every country's rocket takes off at the exact same second and the first person, the first three Dock or win the space race?
Starting point is 00:56:40 Uh-huh. That's great, Eric. Paul Volt, I think, would be good as well. It's like an interesting moon sport. Yeah. Oh, wow. I think, like, the dashes, like the running would be, like, so much slower. Yeah, like, you, they could try, but I think it would be, like, really tough.
Starting point is 00:56:59 But a bunch of dust. Yeah. But, dude, I'm just saying, like, every other sport would be insane. I want to watch somebody hit a baseball around the whole moon. Think about soccer? Basketball. Baseball fucking skateboarding? Can you imagine the vert people are going to get on the half pipe on the moon?
Starting point is 00:57:19 900. Show me a 9,000. Exactly. I guess the swimmers should probably stay home. They'll figure out ways to innovate, you know? You adapt and overcome. It's what we do as humans. I want to see a bunch of astronauts breakdance.
Starting point is 00:57:36 maybe Australia will get its redemption on the moon but nobody recognizes it because it happened on the moon exactly yeah I'm trying to think of stuff that'll be faster because there's no air resistance yeah yeah so like shooting bows and arrows and stuff would be insane yeah surely a javelin would go far yeah and there's a dark side of the moon right
Starting point is 00:58:01 so there's snow probably so you can have winter olympics winter moon olympics in the Summer Moon Olympics? Why would that be snow? Well, you could put it in because it'd be so cold there. Okay. You can import snow.
Starting point is 00:58:12 I got news for you. There's not snow where we're having the Winter Olympics now in the world we're having it imported in. We're severe. I don't know if you've noticed, but the list of available places
Starting point is 00:58:20 to have a Winter Olympics on Earth is shrinking every four years. Yeah, but just the dark southern moon isn't literally dark. It's just we can't see it. And it would be like hundreds of degrees hot most of the time. Oh, well, wherever it's coldest on the moon
Starting point is 00:58:33 is where we're going to put our, we're going to put our... wherever it's night time on the moon. Honoring Olympic rules, if you get caught with steroids, you have to compete on the dark side of the moon. There you go. Exclusively can compete there in the dark. Who needs steroids when you've got moon gravity, you know?
Starting point is 00:58:51 Oh, that's a good point. You got caught with steroids. You're banished to the dark side of the moon. It's crazy. These aren't even for the... This is for back on Earth. I don't need these for the moon Olympics. It's just the same
Starting point is 00:59:07 The exact same Olympics, but just un-televised Shohay-O-Tani is going to hit a baseball so fucking hard that it breaks up in the moon's atmosphere. Yeah. The moon's atmosphere. Like it's going to go, it's going to
Starting point is 00:59:23 leave the moon's atmosphere and it's going to catch on fire and go and fizzle out. It'd be like the end of the natural. Will there be like an Olympic torch ceremony? Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. How do you get the flame? in a bubble. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:59:36 Oxygen bubbles. Yeah. I have like a pipe. System of pipes. I don't know. I'm not... The Vanessa is... We got...
Starting point is 00:59:44 Dude, we got little robots driving around Mars right now that have been there for like 20 years. I'm not worried about us figuring out how to have an Olympic torch on the moon. That's the least of my problems. In the world in which we're accepting the Olympics are occurring on the moon,
Starting point is 00:59:58 the torch functionality really does not seem like that hard of a thing to figure out. Yeah. Of all of the issues, to solve, I don't think that's number one. But I like Moon Olympics, Jeff. Yeah, thank you very much. I was just going to say, also, we've all played Moonbase Alpha, right? I assume it would work some way like that.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Interesting. I don't know if I have played Moon Base Alpha. Maybe the first at Moon Olympics is just we send robots ahead of the humans, and it's done remotely first, and then those robots can work on, like, constructing all the stuff that humans will need. It's like Robot Wars or whatever that show is called. It starts as like the Olympics. Fowlbts and stuff.
Starting point is 01:00:36 Interesting. Very interesting. I'm so excited to see the poll. So how this works, Jeff, is we have a poll that comes out the day after this airs in which the community decide who has the worst takes.
Starting point is 01:00:48 This is going to be a tough one for them to judge, I think. I think everybody had fantastic takes. Yeah, these are pretty good. Especially for the new takester. For the new takester, yeah, making his debut in episode two. Like all great comic villains,
Starting point is 01:01:04 He doesn't show up an issue one. That's right. He comes up later. Yeah. Maybe Nick was the taker and Jeff replaced him as the takester. Oh. Wow. Well, thank you so much for listening to Episode 2 of Regulation Takes.
Starting point is 01:01:19 Make sure to check out our Patreon. Patreon.com slash the RegulationPod or Regulatrian.com, if you'd prefer. We had great takes. If you think one of us deserves an idiot flag, we have those in the store, buy it, and then just think about us. Hold it in your hand and think this person. person's an idiot. Buy it. Buy it and then think about us.
Starting point is 01:01:39 This is the physical representation of my dislike for Gavin's take. I like the editor of us having a website and all of our heads are at the top and we just pitted an idiot flag on whoever's lost this. That's the funny idea. Pretty good.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Until then, though, have a great rest of your day. Thank you so much for listening. Bye. Bye. Bye now.

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