F**kface - Reverse Funeral // RegulationPigeon.com [69]

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about nice, Alien Earth, Black Mirror, Timothy Olyphant, cryogenic funeral, a sad milestone, back muscle, regimented locking in, IBS, silent bathroom, cat tub, birthday suiting it, butter mattress, CPAP rain out, dreaming, Jack's bird, Geoff's Websites, eating a pigeon, a quail is a slider, Earthshaker high score, The Break Show, and squirrel burgers. Mail to: Regulation Company PO Box 13146 111 E 17th Austin, TX 78701 Sponsored by ZocDoc. Go to Zocdoc.com/regulation and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. #sponsored Support us directly at https://www.patreon.com/TheRegulationPod Stay up to date, get exclusive supplemental content, and connect with other Regulation Listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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hold it steady nick we got to let the people know that the break show the break show is this Monday it's on that's on the 8th that's on the 8th September 8th at 3 p.m. Central 3 p.m. Central time. Twitch. Twitch.com TV slash the regulation. Nick, Nick, you got to hold it steady. Nick, people have to know about this. Nick, we're going to leave it now! Hello and welcome to another episode of the Regulation Podcast.

This is episode 69. Nice. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew Bed, Gavin Free, Eric Mooder, Nick Schwartz. Apology. Sorry about that. Why was it nice, Gavin? I don't know.

I just felt the urge to say something about that. He's just been hanging out with Ray too much, I think. I was calling over in my head, like, should I make a 69 sophomore joke or then like even make a joke about not making a joke at the intro. And then I decided just to steam roll through it and ignore it. And that would probably be the best bet. But Gavin was here. Hi.

Well, I feel like I did the volleyball handback last time. And I thought, you know, I'd just step it up a little bit this time. Spiked it. I spiked it. Yeah. I spiked it onto our side, which is unfortunate, but still. You slamed it right into the ground on our side and then just yelled at all of us. I spiked it.

And then it bounced up and hit me in the face. Hey, can I, can I ask you guys real quick? Can I ask you guys a math question? Yes. Okay, cool. So I was watching the first episode of Alien Earth last night, which I really like, by the way. I'm only about halfway through the first episode, but I thought it was really cool. And right when it starts off,

it starts off on a ship that has collected some samples and they're bringing them back to Earth, right? And it says the year is 2120. And I thought, oh, wow, that's... I'm not going to live the 2120, but it's crazy that I could almost be living in the alien universe, right?

So then, right after that, it says... So you'll be able to check my math here with me, Andrew. And right after that, it says they're on year 65 of their mission, and there's a lot about, like, how they don't like being cryogenically frozen. So I assume that would mean if the mission began 65 years before 2020 or 2120 and they were all like 30 or if they were over 30 years old, then that would mean they're alive today right now. The people on that ship are alive on Earth right now.

Assuming we're in the same universe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They've probably been born for sure. Yeah, 20505, I guess. If you're sort of like doing that math, then.

Sure. You went deeper. Alien crew, if you're listening to this, do not bring the samples back no matter what Waylon Yutani says. Don't do it. You're six years old right now and it doesn't make sense to you, but please don't. No, but I just think that that's cool because my entire life, Alien has been like a distant future sci-fi series and now I've grown, I've lived long enough that I could theoretically share the planet with people who exist in that universe that I've been watching as a fan. That is very fun. Well, I think of that universe, they've already been on Earth for thousands of years, haven't they? The, like, the engineers and stuff? Yeah, man. Are we doing are we doing a Prometheus? All right, here we go. I just think it's cool that I can watch a TV

show about aliens crash land, the alien crash landing on Earth and the people that were on the ship that brought it here are share air with me. I just, that's just wild to me. It's definitely the most similar feeling story to like a current timeline, especially with Ice Age being in it. You got Ray Ramana. I haven't gotten to the Ice Age part yet. Oh, it's a big deal. It's coming up. I'm still with like the kids and stuff.

Yeah, I had three takeaways from it. The first was I saw the year thing did the same thing you did, Jeff. But I stopped at, oh, I'm dead. I'm dead when this happened. There's zero possibility in which I reached this year. I am just dead. My second takeaway was that guy from Black Mirror, boy, did I not realize. all I'm ever going to think about when I see that actor

is his episode of Black Mirror. He has an unfortunate thing for me at least where like no matter what character he plays, it's the only thing that sticks in my brain. Which character is it? The brother that... Oh, yeah. Of the main...

Every time I see him, I just go, oh, that's the Black Mirror guy. That's fun. I haven't seen that. Is Timothy Oliphant in it yet? Yes. Oh, yeah. Is he cool? He's in it pretty early. He's weird. He's weird. That's cool. I like him a lot. yet he's a weird dude in general I think yeah I like that I think

I like that he's kind of a weird guy I like that he doesn't he's the opposite of a method actor that seems like he doesn't prepare for anything shows up he goes tell me where to stand baby I'm gonna need give me a script in 30 minutes to memorize it's a great show I'm excited to watch episode three yeah I'm excited to continue

watching it like I said I only uh I only watch the first half of the first episode it just it just punches you right in the face with like hey this is this is kind of near future now which just blew me away. Yeah, that's great. That guy, the person, the showrunner of that, knows how to adapt things very well.

Same guy that did the Fargo show. Great TV. If you could go into cryogenic sleep, whatever they do, like, hyper sleep, would, like, say you were going to sleep for 85 years. Okay. Would you have, would you want that to be a funeral for you? No.

Oh. Because everyone you know is going to be dead, and no one alive will ever see you again. Are you... Now, in this scenario, who is attending your funeral? Is it Meg? Are you being cryogenically frozen, 85 years of future, but you're leaving your wife behind?

Like, are you saying goodbye to your parents and your grandparents? I think that's the implication. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? Wait! Why were you caught off guard by that? Why is that not the first thing in your...

This hypothetical... And no point in the hypothetical was it me doing. it. I just assumed I was putting the question out for anyone. Yeah, I don't want to do it. Do you want to do it? So you put out a hypothetical, not from the perspective of considering it for yourself, but a also hypothetical person. It is a hypothetical scenario built around the hypothetical of a person. Yeah. That's crazy. Well, hypothetically speaking, yes or no? No. I don't want to do it. I don't think so. No.

I mean, I just, I can't get past the why I'm going into the cryogenic freeze. Like, if I'm doing it as a, as a future tourist, then I'm a real piece of shit to my daughter and my wife and my family for just leaving them behind, unless I'm taking them with me. And then if I'm taking them with me, then I don't give a fuck if there's a funeral for me or not, because who do I care about, you know, that's left behind? It's the classic sci-fi dilemma, though, isn't it? It's like, it's like an interstellar. He has to leave his whole family behind to save the- I haven't seen interstellar, so I had to can't. But you didn't put any sticks attached to it.

You just made it. Do you want to cryosleep for 85 years? No, that was the question. Do you want to sleep? It was you have to sleep. Would you want that to be a funeral? No, you didn't say you have to sleep. You said you're going to sleep.

Like, it's out of life. If you're going to. Like maybe you have a disease, like Franklin Richards, the Sue and Reed Richards kid, that can only be cured in the future. So you're like cryogenically frozen or put in some sort of a stasis until they develop a cure for your disease. Then I definitely wouldn't want my family to throw. I'm answered your question.

That I definitely wouldn't. Shut up, I'm answering. Then I definitely wouldn't want my family to throw a funeral for me because that would be admitting defeat as if I had died. But the whole point is that if I get cryogenically frozen to get cured down the road, then I'm living. So if anything, I would want a celebration of life funeral. There's a bomb in your penis.

It's using an explosive that has a half-life that's just like 85 years and then the bomb will be inactive. But you have to You just You have to go to sleep for 85 years Created the greatest porn parody Of all time of speed In which somebody has to keep stroking

At a certain amount Or else the penis bomb explodes If your heart rate goes About 50 F penis explodes I you know what I'm gonna turn this completely On its head Gavin

I don't want a funeral for me I want to make a funeral For everybody else that I like And I'm the only gonna be the only Survivor Reverse funeral Reverse funeral Because I'm gonna be the one

That has to grieve them They're not gonna really grieve me Well I guess I'll be gone And cry of sleep But it's not like I'm dead What I think is gonna happen That's gonna have to be a two-way funeral Where everyone in the room is gonna die for you

And you're gonna die for them And you just all have a nice little It'd be like a new kind of event I think we might need to ban Gavin From hypotheticals for a little while He's on a little bit of a run of these All right yeah I'll take a break I don't think, I don't think I would tell people I was cryogenically frozen.

I think I would just tell them I was moving to Australia. I only say that because yesterday, last night, Gavin floated to me, what if murder was legal, but it was just very expensive to do? Like, you get to buy a murder permit. Essentially, but only for billionaire. You can only use gold to kill people. Oh, I mean, what, I mean, that's probably kind of the world we live in. Yeah, that's, I think we're already, boys, boys, I don't think you're going to like the answer to this one. But Gavin pitched it in the sense of that the reason why murders occur now, like it was like he forgot it was currently illegal.

Like him making, all he did was create a loophole for billionaires to kill people. He didn't, he didn't solve crime. Yeah, it's like, bullets are so, bullets are so cheap. What if they were, oh, I guess, just only billionaires would murder whoever they want. Terrible scenario. Yeah, something that's definitely not happening. now something we don't definitely have to worry about yeah yeah also also earlier when jeff was talking about the cryogenic thing i thought he said if i were to do this as a bit i thought that's

where he was going and like that's the funniest bit guys i'm about to pull a fast one 85 years in the future it's a big gotcha we have an availability calendar and he's just like out from 2026 onward through 2115. I'm very sad to report. I hit a new milestone that I never considered hitting over the weekend and I'd like

to share it with you guys. What's the milestone? Yeah. I'm trying to think of a sad milestone. Yeah, what's that? Well, I had to drop Milly off at college again for her sophomore year, which I assume that stops at some point, right? Like, I don't, I don't, will I be maybe I will be moving around for the rest of a lot. I don't know. It's my only kid. I don't know how it works.

But anyway, I moved her into college again and had a fucking amazing time. Emily and I had a blast, whatever. It was bonding and warming and it was sweet and it was wonderful and all that stuff. But right before I went out of town to do it, I went for a big long bike ride. I had a ton of work to get done to go out of town

and I got it all done early and so I had some extra time. And I did like a double bike ride, which I haven't done in a very long time. I was awesome. I felt super in fit and in shape and stuff. woke up the next morning to go to the airport the entire left side of my body was on fire. Apparently, I

wrenched myself at some point on the bike ride. And so I then had to go through airports and sit on planes and Uber's and check into hotels and carry heavy back. By the way, we're moving Millie back to college so she took three new

suitcases full of stuff from home to college that she forgot the freshman year. So it was like, we had like nine fucking bags. It was like in the movies when you see those people go through the airport with like three carts full of stuff and they're like,

and they're like, that's gonna be a long weekend. Yeah, like the McAllen. And so I'm struggling with all that and the left side of my body is just on fire and I'm feeling super fucking old and lame and go to bed that night, get up at like four in the morning and take a piss, like a raging piss

in a hotel, you know, you're like fucking stumbling around, bumping into the walls. It's completely black. Couldn't find a light if I needed to to save my life. If you told me, find a light in the next 15 seconds, I'll give you a million dollars. I wouldn't even try.

And I stumble my way to the toilet, walk into the bathroom and realize I'm going to shit hard. Which is something that never happens to me. Like, I, you know, I may wake up and I may shit five times before noon, but my asshole knows when appropriate shitting time is and when appropriate shitting time, it is not. And I never, never, I don't know about you guys, but I never have to wake up in the middle of the night to take a shit.

So I take a piss, I sit down, I take my piss and my shit real fast, and it's just like a pretty bog standard shit. I'm trying to sleep through it, you know, because you don't want to wake up and you have a long day ahead of me. And then I wipe and flush the toilet. And then here's the milestone. I just stood up and one inch off the toilet seat, I felt something snap in my back. Oh, no. God. I pulled a muscle in my back shitting.

That's one milestone. I'm now the kind of person who, if a conversation comes up and somebody says, have you ever thrown your back out taking a dump, I have to raise my hand. But I think that's kind of awesome. I don't think this is a sad milestone. Because here's the thing that makes it sad, is it was just a bog standard shit. But when you hear that somebody threw their back out shitting, you imagine something so much more impressive. Yeah, like a dumb and dumber level of shit or something, but it wasn't at all.

It was just a super normal shit. I think what happened. And the reason I led up with the previous injury is I think it's kind of like Kevin Durant in Game 5 in that Warriors finals where you're nursing another injury and it causes you to put too much strain

on the other parts of the body and so you end up with a much worse injury because let me tell you, after I pulled my back out, my side, I didn't give a fuck about it anymore. That was nothing. So I'm at like, I'm happy to report. It's been five, six days.

I'm at 65%. I can mostly stand up and sit down without a grimmol. I mean, it's a really good thing that it was while you were getting up and not while you're actually trying to blast out. That's true.

It is true. It is true. Because that could have been a couch. It could have been a stool. I think the fact that it was shitting was secondary. And I will say that if you're going to throw your back out

to do it above a chair is pretty convenient as well. You can just sit back down. You're in the perfect position. It's true. If you pull something and you need to like recalibrate, you just go back down.

Also, if pulling your back caused you to shit yourself, you're also in the perfect spot. There's so many positive to this story I didn't realize in the moment, yeah. What I'm fascinated by is because I'm in the same as you, I've never had to wake up to shit, but are you saying like even during waking hours

you have a comfortable read of when you need to shit? Yeah, I think maybe... Interesting. Maybe it's... Maybe it's because of my time in the military. That would make sense. But you get really good at

scheduling your own shits, you know, because there's going to be periods of the day when it's just incredibly inconvenient for you to, you know, to get into the shitting position with miles gear and guns and Kevlar and all that. You know what I mean? You're on a 20-mile hike or whatever. So you get real good at like compartmentalizing your shitting time. And then, you know, I have the explosions because of my whole issues, but usually it's all done by, we're done by the end of breakfast, you know? I'll knock three or four good ones out before like 11 a.m. and then I'm pretty good

the rest of the day. That's just what I was going to say is somebody who also has IBS. That is a thing I encounter where it just, it will just come for you. Like night. It will just appear and there are times where it's like oh, I'm fine. And then suddenly it is a stage 10 emergency.

So the fact that you seem to have the ability to lock down and time things out, I'm both impressed by and it gives me hope that I can, uh, maybe future discipline and training can really lock in my shit. Because I, I was talking to Gavin about this recently. I have strategic shitting with my IBS. Like I know my body and what will happen in certain situations. So I plan it. But there are times where it just appears and there's no stopping it and I just have to, I have to find the most immediate bathroom instantly. I assume

whenever you're four minutes late to a recording and you're just typing a discord, you know, I'm going to be five I mean, it's because you're still stuck on the shit. It's always an IBS issue if I'm late for a recording. Are you, are you IBS medicated? Are you taking medication to manage it? Absolutely not. That would probably help. That would probably help.

It never even occurred to me to ask for medication for it. I've had it so long. What? You've had some of your colon removed, but hadn't considered any medication. Well, I got the colon removed. Medicine be damned. This is done. I guess I don't see like TV ads for IBM, like I see Peptobysmal stuff and I feel like that's general shitting.

It never occurred to me. I guess I feel like I'm definitely 90% at fault for not asking, but it's, I've also never been asked by a doctor. Hey, do you need IBS meds for the stuff that's in your file? You know what on a car you can pick like all terrain or if you if you need like four wheel drive. That's a mode. I just like the idea of you go on a toilet and you're just like. This is just general shitting. It's just a bog standard.

Bog standard. Yeah. I'd love to just have bog standard shitting issues. I just, I just Googled like medicines for IBS. There's so many specific medicines for IPS that I've never even heard of. You can't get on him. I do.

Yeah, dude. You need to get some lens s. Oh, lens on TV. You need to get some lens s or some Xifaxan or some vibersl or some ametiza. I don't know. I don't know. What if Andrew?

We put a TV in your toilet, right? Not in the bowl, just in the room. Like, HDMI going through the wall. A second mic that's going to your mixer. So you could just seamlessly transition from toilet to desk while recording. Maybe I need like a field mic. I think a worse setup is funnier.

It sounds like I'm in the field. This is Andrew Patton reporting live in the field. The field is always just six feet away, and it's a toilet. I wonder what's more disturbing for a stranger to witness. A bathroom with a full recording setup, or the most soundproofed walls in a ship? Oh, man, a fully soundproofed bathroom, I think is terrifying. Has anyone ever chat with zero echo? Oh, no.

I think I would genuinely, like, let's say I go to a co-worker's party, or like, it's somebody I meet at some function and I go to their house and I go into the bathroom and the bathroom is fully soundproofed. I think I'm leaving and never talking to them yet. We can do this. Jeff has a whole shit room at the regulation office. It's the smallest bathroom. We can just put a bunch of sound dampening everywhere. I like the idea of hiring in like a home theater company to do it though. Straight to the bathroom. I just, if I go in there, it's immediately in my mind a kill room

I'm not thinking my mind went straight to kill room it's like oh what does he want to do in here that needs to be quiet yeah

this is organ removal is what this room was for I had a bathroom story alongside Jeff not a milestone in any way more a unfortunate

horrific accident in the most relaxing at times I was in my bathtub the water's running I'm feeling great I'm just kind of looking at

phone not really paying attention kind of spaced out water's filling up it's loud not soundproofed and i'm going through my notifications and i click i'm just like cycling out i don't need ticot don't need email somebody some random person sent me an xbox party invite and i meant to swipe it but instead i clicked on it and next thing i know i'm in a party with a bunch of people that i don't know i'm just in their Xbox Live party. Mike is on. I can see the water from the tub is coming through the microphone

and I'm just staring at it. I was frozen in fear but then I had the thought of if I immediately leave this somehow feels worse I'm just gonna stay here and see what happens. So I'm looking at the mic

it's a full party of people I don't know. It's going off. I can see their mics doing things but they're like I can't it's muted I can't hear them I do this for probably 20-ish seconds and then I decide okay I need to hear them so I turn on the speaker on my phone didn't realize that while I was doing this I happened to be in a TikTok live that I didn't know I was in so then all of a sudden the TikTok live just started talking and it's that now that's getting picked up so it's the water running and this random person on TikTok live talking about stuff

and this lasted for probably two and a half minutes before I cleared out the entire party I stayed I held my ground everybody else in the party left and so I just wanted to apologize I want to take a moment whoever that was I'm sorry that I ruined your party but I felt like I had to stay in my grant

I felt like if I immediately left then it was clearly a weird like a mistake that I had made but if I stayed it just I became like a weird guy that was, like, I was hoping they would think that I did it by accident, which I did, but that I didn't even know that this was occurring. What is that thought process?

That you think, you don't want to leave immediately because it would look like a mistake, but instead they're listening to what sounds like a TikTok in a waterfall. Yes. And that sounds like that was what you intended. Well, I was, as I said, my main goal is I was hoping that they thought like somehow this went through his

phone and he doesn't know as opposed to me just sitting there mortified in my tub, seeing I'm in this party chat all of a sudden, instantly just put me in with Mike on. Crazy. Were you able to relax again in the tub after that? Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, once everybody left, I was all good. But just it was an unexpected moment of terror and complete relaxation. I don't like that you can just do that via the app. You're just like fumbling and opening channels left and right through the internet. Yeah, I'm just like,

I don't need this email, don't need this thing. I think I, I think I click the Xbox thing thinking it would open the app and then I could like reject it or I don't, I don't know what I was thinking. I was spaced out, but I mean, that's certainly how it should work. I ended up instantly in the party, which is once again crazy. I feel like you shouldn't just deploy somebody into the party chat by clicking. I feel like there should be like a second approval window of some kind. Remember that doctor's appointment, that one you planned on booking, but then life got in the way?

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Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days? Delivered with Uber Eats? What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no, but a banana, that's a yes. A nice tan, sorry, nope, but a box fan, happily yes. A day of sunshine, no. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Have you had any issues with the new cats in the tub, if any of them fallen in? I've had

yeah. Yeah. The answer is yeah. They do a thing where when I'm in the tub, they like to investigate and they'll put their paw in and then they'll walk up and they'll kind of flick their paw because of the water and they'll spray me in the face with the paw water. Yeah. Classic cat tub thing. There was a situation where while it was draining, investigations were being done and one, I don't know if they fell in or they went to investigate further. Did not like it immediately ran out.

I'd say the most entertaining cat story I have was, I was recording something with Gavin and I vanished suddenly. How long would you say that I was gone for, Gavin? Oh, like a two minutes? Two minutes. It was a very short period of time. And I just came back and I went, that was the chaos that just occurred. You have no idea. And he was shocked.

You sounded like you'd been, you were out of breath, like you'd just. been running. So we had people coming over to repair things in the place. And we put the cats in my room to just keep them away because they're going inside and outside. They're indoor cats. It just was like the safest option was just to keep them in here. So they're in my room and they're playing around. One of them is trying to like get out a little bit. So he's like playing with the door, but it's whatever. And I'm getting ready to recording this thing, Gavin. And then all of a sudden the door swings open. Now, an important context to the story, I'm completely naked. I have no clothes on. I'm just sitting at my desk naked and the door swings open. And so I thought

like, oh no, they're going to, they came in here by mistake. So I'm getting prepared to tell a person like, ah. But it wasn't a person. I guess the door wasn't fully closed and the cat put his paw under the door and yanked hard enough to get it open. So he opened the door and immediately booked it out. And then the second cat was getting ready to follow behind. So I grabbed the bag of treats because I've kind of trained them that if you shake the treats, they come. They love treats.

They're very food driven. So I grabbed the bag. I got to shake the bag. And much like Jeff's bacon bits, the bag was not sealed. The beef treats fly everywhere out of the bag. The whole floor is now covered in beef treat. the one cat immediately comes back that really loves beef

super into it happy about the incident the other cat just keeps going then maybe 20 or 30 seconds later I hear a high-pitched scream by one of the people that are in the place because I guess it turns out that in their culture black cats are like demonic

and they didn't know to like anticipate a black cat so they're just doing stuff and they turn and then my dumb black cat walks in and scares them so it was just complete chaos there's nothing I can do about it I'm naked I can't run over the chase them can I ask one real quick question

yeah so you mentioned at the at the top of this that you were recording with Gavin and people were repairing stuff in the house is that at the same time now you are also naked during both of these occurrences so you're recording with

and you're not even Winnie the Pooh in it you're just birthday suiting it with Gavin were you aware that you were recording with a naked Andrew? I wasn't. And now I'm wondering, how often is this the case? Oh yeah. I'm naked right now. What? Really? Yeah, I just didn't put a shirt on. But, wait, wait, wait. But, so you're just wearing boxes? No, not wearing nothing.

So I recently made the change to I used to fall asleep in boxers. Now I'm just sleeping naked or with just a shirt on. And then I typically will wake up and immediately start recording with you guys. So, yeah. So like, I don't know, like maybe episode 80 or so of F*** Face, we did a bottoms out episode where we all recorded with our dicks out and it was a big funny thing and we were all grossed out by it and the audience was grossed out by it and it was a hilarious bit. But what I'm hearing from you is that you're recording every episode of everything like that now. Most things. I mean, you knew the Winnie of the Poohing was occurring. That's a Winnie Pooh. I'm part of the Winnie of Pooh lifestyle. Once again, I'm worried for your chair and the cleanliness of the chair.

It's like waking up and putting on the same pair of boxes every day. The chair's good. I mean, I don't have to worry about the chair until like a month from now. Or like, I guess a week, right? September? Doesn't it typically break in September? We're in chair season? Yeah, you got a week or two before it really starts falling apart on you.

You surely don't want to be naked when the chair gives out next week. I mean, he's naked when people are coming over to fix stuff in the house and the cats are running around. I don't think it matters much I just love that in the middle of a recording there was a moment in time where someone in your house was screaming and your room was just a mess of beef and cock

Yeah Someone screamed and I went Oh that's not good But I can't go help because it's I'm naked That's unfortunate What if Andrew We'll watch an alien earth right now

And reminded that aliens have Acid blood, you know? Yeah is one of the coolest features of any alien ever. What if you have like really low grade acid farts? And it just takes about a year of your acid farts to break a chair down. And it's actually your alien-esque acid farts that are doing it. Just like corroding the bolts and shit over time.

Yeah, I'm trying to think if like, I don't think I've had underwear where like the fabric and just the ass has slowly van. Because you don't wear it. Because you never wear it. Oh, but I haven't always been Winnie the poo in it. Winnie the poo like all the time has been the last few months. What was the decision behind the shirt coming off eventually? Uh...

Suns out, guns out. No, okay. So this is, there's a few factors to this. One is if I need to do laundry, I just sometimes like, I'll do it tomorrow. If I don't plan on going out, then it's like, then it gets pushed and maybe I'll extend a day. in a day. Other times, we've talked about how my bed slowly escapes from the wall and then Pillow Mountain goes into the hole. Sometimes if I'm in bed and I'm like, you know what, I could use a little bit of head propage. I'll just pop the shirt off,

turn that into a pillow. You are, you've got eight or nine pillows and you're using your shirt. Well, because all the pillows are down the pillow hole. So it's like... Yeah, but they're not actually serving a purpose down the hole. You could just pick one up and use it, can't you? I'd have to fully get out of bed and then I'd have to... Okay, this is realistically what it would occur to fix the gap. I would have to get out of bed.

My partner would have to get out of bed. All the pillows would have to get pulled from the pillow hole. The bed would then need to get pushed back. Then the mattress would need to get pushed back. Then the replacing of the pillows back into position. You're making it sound like the hole is opening up, eating the pillows and then can't you just reach over?

It is doing that because he hasn't installed a headboard yet. Oh, right, the headboard Where's the headboard, Andrew? We have the solution We can fix all of it Well, the problem See, what you're forgetting, Gavin is like, let's say I pull the pillow

out of the hole, right? Yeah. Then I put it back into place It just immediately goes into the hole. You need to fix the hole. Do you have a mattress coated in butter? Like, why can't you block down a pillow?

Oh, he bought a head floored. It isn't fixed. What was your question, Gavin? Yeah. What? Are you saying how does it, how does it slide? How's it slipping straight back down there? Do you have Butterface and Butter Mattress?

Is it just shooting out? It shoots out because I like to lay against the wall. Like, I like to, I prefer, I've always been like putting pressure into the wall type sleeper. Right. Yeah, you're like permanently sleep tackling the wall. Have you considered maybe just, like, instead of wallpaper, just pillow paper the wall? What if your wall was pillows? We're just putting you in a padded room, aren't we?

Yeah, maybe if I ever have my own place, I can pillow paper the wall. You know what? Another perk of the cats is that I had a big whoopsie that I framed on the cats for a whole day, which was great. I wasn't blamed for it at all. I got the CPAP and, you know, you have a hose, Gavin. I'm interested in maybe in your strategy. I used to just have the hose dangle off the bedside table and it would go down to the floor and then up. But because of that, I would feel like it was constantly yanking away from my face, just the natural tubing weight.

Like a slight pull. So I have a large lamp on my thing. So I've started running the hose up through the lamp. So it's up high. and it doesn't have the same pull like if anything it's because of gravity it's going to my face and it has been a nice change

this has worked fantastically Andrew I do exactly that you do the same thing you run it through a lamp yeah I've got this lamp that's like it's got like a swing arm on it and I just swing the lamp out I put the hose through the gap and I swing it back shut

and it just kind of holds the hose above me so I've been doing that and I'm a back sleeper so it works fine but I tried to spice it up a little bit and sleep on my left side so I rolled over and it was fine I'm comfortable

and then all of a sudden I hear and I've pulled the CPAP machine off of the counter it is fallen between the side of the bed and the end table itself and it's just it's gone it's down and I went that's not great and my partner wakes up

and they're like oh the cats I was like yeah the cat's crazy but I'm cozy and I think it has fallen and everything still works things can't get worse this is fine I'll just continue to sleep

maybe five minutes later loud thud the lamp has now been pulled off with the thing I think the CPAP machine added the weight and was slowly pulling it to the side of the bed so now the lamp is off to the side and my partner's like

those crazy cats I was like, yeah, those cats. Oh, boy. Sons of bitches. So I get up to like see what damage I've done. Thankfully, everything is fine. There's no damage. Nothing broke.

And they're like, ah, is the cat's okay? They break anything? And I was like, no, all good. All fine. I put everything back. And then I confess my crimes later. But I got away with it. I wouldn't have got away with that before.

You know, I'm not convinced you're using the CPAP, right? Really? Well, today, we did a little recording before this. You told me that you were, you're, using it without water. And then you were like, weird, I woke up with a massive nosebleed for a start. But also, if you're using a CPAP that's sloughed down the side of your nightstand and bed, isn't it just vacking up dust and shit?

Like, it's got an intake somewhere. I wasn't thinking about it in that time. I'm never, like, I'm not doing that. Like, it's always on the table. But my thought while I was very tired was, this can't get worse. It's fallen. It still works. I'd rather just go back to sleep than roll.

over and wake up and adjust it as you're huffing your completely dry air dust dry dust yeah I just didn't I need to get some more water for it and I thought I'll just try because I went through an era of I was getting

too much moisture in the tube and it was just blasting me in the face with water constantly so I spent what how do you get actual water come out of it It's just been to like... Are you serious?

You've never had that happen? I assume that this is a thing... Oh man, that's interesting. No, it's just meant to be humid air. The only time I'm actually getting liquid spray into my nose is if I've just washed the tube and I've got some like residual... No, so this is a process that you can have with a CPAP called rain out. And it's where your moisture, like the settings aren't aligned.

Sometimes it can be like a difference between the temperature in the room and the temperature of the hose. There's all sorts of different factors. so when I was trying to play around with moisture levels I got like that the worst time it was like a super soap who was shooting out the hose on me then there were a bunch of mild cases

where like the tube was always wet and I knew I was having water blasted my nose but it was so minuscule I didn't really notice so I kept adjusting moisture to a lower level to the point where I was at one and I'm currently at one the least amount of moisture you can have in your air

and then I have been just doing it without water, because I just need to get more water. And I've been totally fine. Like, I haven't noticed the difference. I think that my moisture level was so low. No moisture and the amount of moisture I was using is not a noticeable difference. Except for the nosebleed. Except for the nosebleed, but I don't know if that was related to it or not because before, let's say if like I was at a high moisture and the thing would run out during the middle of the night, it would really bother my nose, the air pressure without any moisture in it. But now, since I'd be doing it on Moisture 1 and I got used to that, like, I've noticed no

difference in that regard. Hey, Eric. Yeah, what's up? Hey, man, if, uh, do me a favor, if I ever go to the doctor and I get prescribed as CPAP as some sort of a necessary remedy, I want you to kill me. Yeah, absolutely. I got you. And then, and then, conversely, you don't even have to ask. I just, just so you know, if I ever hear that a doctor prescribed you, I'm going to kill you. Yeah, no, I appreciate it. I can't imagine living this way. So, I'm with you, man. No, no sweat. It's really not bad.

Cool. Yeah, it sounds terrible. This whole thing sounds awful. C-PAP, suicide pact. Yeah, I'll be honest. Right now sounds like a really cool problem to have. Suicide fits spelled with a sea. I guess it's like comparatively, like I, it doesn't bother me at all wearing the thing and not being tired all the time.

Like the difference I've noticed since using it. I don't fall asleep in the bathtub anymore. I just thought I was comfortable, but in reality, it was just, I was so sleep deprived. I could fall asleep at any moment, essentially. Have you ever thought about incorporating the CPAP into your tub time and like going under water and seeing if it works? No, I'm dying. That would be the end of me.

I did have the thought once of like, what if I, if, because you get portable CPAPs. I was like, what would that be like? And then I was convinced I'd sleep too well and I would drown. Do you think you could slowly increase the moisture level over a period of time until you eventually become Aquaman and can just breathe? underwater? I've already done the first half of that and I never became Aquaman. I just gained a tolerant.

It was like getting water bottled, Jesus, water boarded but nostril only. Yeah, you're waterboarding your sinus directly. Yeah. I still have some issues with the geography of your sleeping position. Because you're saying you're mainly like, lent into the wall with the pillows, but also you're on your back. So are you like tackling the wall backwards? So you're like pushing in with the back of your head? I used to be a side sleeper. Yeah. And so when I was when I would do like side sleeping into the

wall, I'd have the pillow against the wall and imagine my neck being like L shaped. Like my head my head would go up and then I would I would lay against it and I'd push that way, essentially. Now, it's just like a chair where I make the pillow mountain, and then I put my back on it, and I push backwards. Like, I lay back, like, almost like a rocking chair. Like, I will put all my weight back, and then I'll fall asleep. And then I'm sure I move around and, like, adjust at times, which influences the movement of the bed. I think if your headboard, when you eventually put it on, if it has, like, four bolts, I think you need some extra security bolts. I think you should go no less than eight.

Absolutely. Because I think you're going to snap that shit off. I probably go. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Needs extra bolt-inch for sure. Like gorilla glue the bolts on too.

Well, that's been my life. Joining random parties and then demon cats has been my week. Does everyone else just sleep normal? Just like normal horizontal flat pillar. I close my eye. I lay down. I close my eyes. I open my eyes.

It is the next day. Yeah. Same. Sometimes I'll roll to the left and sleep. And sometimes I'll roll to the right and sleep. But either way, I'm going to sleep with the, Eight seconds. Interesting.

What about dreaming? I don't dream. Man, it's pretty rare that I remember my dreams these days. Wow. I used to a lot. I think that amount of life got sucked out of me at some point along the way. I'm with you, bud. Wow.

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You guys know Major League fan Jack right Yeah You guys remember him MLJ? Remember him? I'm glad you brought up the bird I was bored the other day at the airport and so I was thinking about ways to fuck with Jack

and I could have like a little bit of a queue of things I can do to Jack if I ever need to and so I was trying to think of ways to add to the queue and which is actually kind of funny because I was thinking like if a brain is a gun then ideas or bullets and there's nobody better to fire idea bullets than Jack

But anyway, I was just thinking about his pigeon, his exotic pigeon. And I was thinking about what a great photo it was and how wonderful it was that he shared with us that photo and how I kind of want to give back to Jack for the years of friendship and the years of support. He was the first Major League fan. He has been, you know, he's been a big supporter of us all along. And then he gifted us this amazing, he gifted us this amazing, he gifted us this amazing exotic bird image. which we were turning into some merchandise and he was so kind to share it with us. I wanted to do something for him in return

and I thought, how hard would it be to make it so that if you look up the word pigeon on the internet, you get Jack's image. Like Jack's pigeon becomes the regulation pigeon globally. Like Wikipedia's pigeon, Google Pigeon. Yeah, so I looked into it.

I read up on SEO. a little bit and things you got to do. And a lot of it, it's just naming conventions, it's metadata, getting people in chat rooms to post the image, you know, with the right keywords. When it comes up naturally, that kind of thing,

you start seeding it into the world. And one of the best ways to do that is with websites. So I went ahead and bought and created this website, RegulationPigeon.com. Whoa. If you go to it, it's just a, you know, it says this is a regulation pigeon this is a jumping off point for us

Eric and I have been working behind the scenes on this a little bit I also have a list of other domains that I'm going to buy I haven't bought them yet but I got some time because you know this doesn't come out for a bit I was going to see if you guys wanted to add to the list we're also going to acquire we have regulation pigeon.com

we're also going to acquire this is a pigeon.com what is a pigeon.com real pigeon.com pigeon pigeon.com and it's just going to be this sort of what you see is this template website and I have a feeling this is just going to be this is a regulation pigeon

that's just what it is there it is also Andrew this website uses cookies I just want you to be aware of it oh I'm accepting right now so you know just throwing that out there to the audience and you guys as well if you ever want to just swing by regulation pigeon dot com

you see what a regulation pigeon is take a look at it feel free to copy the image and use it yourself at any point inform others about it. Let people across the world know what a bog standard regulation right out of the package

in every way pigeon looks like it looks exactly like that exotic bird that Jack shared with us. And alternatively, if you guys have any other ideas for domains and other ways that we can help get the word out, I want the world to know Jack's pigeon. That's incredible.

I love it. This is fantastic. I like that you said you wanted to give back to Jack's, though, even though we paid him for the pigeon picture. He gave him actual money. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're giving back. We paid him for the fucking photo, sure, but I want to give back for the years and years of relationship and support. And it's so much bigger than the money we threw his way. We want to, I think to me,

the thing that I'm really driving at here is the feeling that he had at that party when I called over every single person at the party individually to look at this picture. I kind of want him to have that all the time. So this is sort of our way of finding it for him.

Yeah, I just, I love them, and I love this bird. And I think it would be interesting if we use the power of our community to elevate this image to the annals of perpetuity, let's say. Do we want to show people the shirt that we're working on? Oh, yeah, we do. We're working on a shirt. Do you have the press? Why, in fact, I do, so people can know, have you seen this bird? People can have a look at that bird, know if they've seen that bird, because on all of

these websites and everywhere you Google, that's the bird you're going to see. Yeah. It's funny to me that we didn't even crop the edges. Listen, why would you need to crop it? That's the pigeon in his natural habits. I mean, Jeff cropped it for the website. I'll be honest with you. No, I didn't crop it for the website.

the website cropped it for me and I couldn't figure out how to uncropped it. Dude, I don't know. In 2025, I created, a quick aside, I created the first website for rooster teeth. I created the first four online stores. I created the first PHPB board. Gus took over after that and did all the good stuff.

But I created like the first three rooster teeth sites. I used to understand how to make websites. It took me an hour to make that have you seen this fucking pigeon website that I just made. And I had no control over that image. whatsoever. I was, I was just like, I was just like slapping at the keyboard with my big dumb paw, just hoping something would fucking work that looked like a website by the end of it. However, moving back over to the t-shirt image, I did crop it. I played around with it a lot. I made it a horizontal. I made it, uh, letterboxed. I made it a square. And it, uh, it just didn't look

right. Okay. Interesting. It just looked weird in any other position other than its native format. Yeah, I'm enjoying the negative space It's great I wonder if we should Maybe I could also try and give back to Jack Because I've known him for quite long time I'm gonna try maybe and get him the pigeon What do you mean

Maybe I can catch this pigeon Okay sure Oh and then domesticate it and make it his friend Train it Have it just be like a living regulation pigeon Dude you know what Then Jack and the pigeon can start a podcast together.

You ready for my wacky summer comedy pitch? You ready for this? Jack gets the pigeon becomes best friends with the pigeon. Pigeon escapes. Ends up at Mike Tyson's. Mike Tyson takes the pigeon.

Jack now needs to steal his pigeon back from Mike Tyson. Wow. I love it. This is a great idea. Mike Tyson just staring at the camera saying you got my bird. I do like the idea of

Other regulation listeners being able to see this in the wild, though. I feel like if you're in the Texas area, just keep an eye out. Yeah, that's true. If you live in central Texas, there's a chance you could meet this pigeon if you keep your eyes up about you. Like, what's the range on a pigeon? What's its territory? Great question. That is a really interesting question.

Oh, yeah. It would be fun to have a website in which people can submit photos of potentially seeing Jack's pigeon. Oh, that it literally is. Like, have you seen it's like people providing evidence? People could submit their photos. Yeah. And then there could be like a map that like shows you all of the pigeon photos locations that people think they may have seen them.

We've just created the milk carton system of the 80s. We did. For pigeon. For this pigeon. I like the idea of this picture of the pigeon on the website being like one of question mark. It could be more in the future. Anyway, if anybody comes up with any ideas for more domains and additional way, like Gavin is going to find the pigeon, I think that's great.

This is my pitch to you all. I think that we should, as an homage to Jack and to give back for his many, many years of friendship and support, we should make sure that the seven and a half to eight billion people on Earth know about this exotic bird. I want to find someone who genuinely doesn't know what it is. That would also be fun. Maybe when the shirt goes on sale, we temporarily redirect regulation pigeon to the shirt. That's a great idea. Oh, yeah, we could do that.

We could definitely do that, sure. Great idea. Wow. That's a great idea if one of you knows how to do it. I am not our webmaster, just so we, just so we're clear. I can help you out. I think if this goes well and this becomes the Internet's regulation pigeon, like it's the picture on Wikipedia and stuff, potentially we could try next

to work on bird yeah like it's just the bird it's just like the first regulation oh I see like it gets yeah okay I get it gets like broader I do I do think that while we're doing this for complete

like friendship reasons right like we're doing this because of our extreme love and friendship and desire to support and send up and let the world know what we think of Jack and how much he means to us. But I do think this is kind of like what regulation can do in some ways. I mean, that's kind of what we're set up to do, is as the arbiters of what is a regulation, we should be able to decide what the regulation, whatever is, and then

seed it out into the world, and hopefully it would be adopted at some point, you know? Like, maybe this is the first of many forays into this idea that we have. Just like worldwide regulating. Yeah. would you eat a pigeon I think I'd eat a pigeon okay like there are certain like animals and stuff where like I feel like oh that would be

even though like culturally culturally it might be accepted in a not where I live is just like a little bit of a mental hurdle for me to get by pigeon I'd have no problem I got no feelings towards that bird I feel like if it was a country pigeon I probably wouldn't want to do like a Trafalgar Square pigeon

You think the location that the pigeon exists in is influencing your... I mean, you see them just like drinking out of puddles by the underground and it's just like, I don't know. I don't want to eat that. I'm reading here, while technically edible, feral city pigeons can be tough and might carry mites and ticks. So be sure to cook them thoroughly. Yeah. I was just thinking like a pigeon burger. Cooking them until they fall off the bone is recommended to kill potential city paramed.

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, we got to get, we got to get some country pigeons. We got to get some jelly. I took a farm raised pigeons right here. Meat for culinary purposes typically sourced from far from young farm range pigeons. I was just thinking for the burger count like I would have a pigeon. I would eat a pigeon burger. God's sake. A patty of pigeon? I would eat a patty a pigeon. How many quails would it take to get a solid patty? Oh, that's a that's a really good question. I think it's got to be it's got Are you talking city quails or country quails? What if pigeons are burgers and quails are sliders?

All then it would take three quails for one burger. One quail yields approximately three ounces of meat after processing. So how many ounces of meat is a burger? Three ounces of meat? Eight ounces? So about three, three squads. There you go, they're sliders. They're sliders.

The quail is the slider of birds Quail's a slider It's a definite slider situation I wouldn't need a dove I'm just going through birds in my head I wouldn't need a parrot Wait wait you would eat a pigeon but not a dove Yeah I don't know

Like I understand like I feel like they're essentially Isn't it the same thing? I mean they're essentially the same Essentially the same but there's something more majestic about the dove that like They're the PR that the doves have done as a whole It must have because again a dove is a type of of pigeon. Yeah, it's that goddamn bot. It's that soap. Oh, yeah. If it was called pigeon soap, you would

eat a dove. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd eat an owl. I wouldn't need a parrot. Absolutely. I eat a blue jay. Hummingbird. Okay, hang on. Cardinal. Oh, I'd eat a cardinal. Okay. Oriel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I need an

orio. Should we draft edible birds? Well, I think all birds are edible birds. Should we draft birdie bird draft? Wait, wait. So why don't we eat like roosters and stuff? Well, I think you can. I think they're just gamey or stringy.

Yeah, they just not. It's just easier to eat the chicken. We just eat women. When there's, when chicken is so plentiful, why would you eat a lesser meated, less flavorful animal? A stupid, a stupid stringy rooster when you just have succulent plump chickens everywhere. I'm going to put a bird in the chat right now. imagine Thanksgiving dinner you sit down

table set the bird gets walked out majestic delicious glazed emu I think that would be a great table bird I bet you can make emu stakes

that's a lot of that's a lot of meat on that's a lot of bird look at the L shape of its neck it's like how you sleep Andrew it is yeah Andrew's the emo the emu of this podcast I have a distinct memory of being like six with my L-shaped

sleep position going this is not, this is probably not good but I'm, this is comfy. This shouldn't be, but I like... You know, the emu is like the light meat and the cassowary is like the dark meat. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a, been a dark meat guy. Mm-hmm. You know, like, I know the dark meat is better, but I don't know. Would you eat a roadrunner? Yeah, I need a roadrunner I'd need a roadrunner

But I'd have to catch it Out of respect to the coyote Yeah, you'd have to catch it You could like paint And I know I just I want to let you know You just need to go catch it You can't paint a big black hole On like a wall

And expect that to work It's not gonna work That should be the rule It should be legal to eat them But you have to catch them Cartoon style Yes Yeah like a big net

You have to put rockets on roller skates trying to drop a giant rock on one they have to run into a cliff that's painted like a road yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah would you eat a woodcock oh wow some would say that's the easiest bird to eat because it flies so slow

because it flies five miles a minute look at how oh look he's so sad that you're going to eat him Andrew if I took a bite out of a woodcock I'd expect it to taste like chocolate That just looks like a chocolate wrap. You're insane. What do you mean?

Do you not understand what I mean? Well, like a Cabri's Easter Bunny style. Yeah, like that bird looks like it should be chocolate underneath it. That looks like a chocolate bird. It does not in any way say chocolate to be. No, it includes chocolate bird. No, it's a corn dog. That's the corn dog of birds.

That looks like you're supposed to hold it by its beak like it's a stick and eat it like a corn dog. Let me get, let me figure out exactly where my brain. It's pulling from somewhere. Okay. Well, while you figure that out, I actually have news. Yeah, what's your fucking news? I have the high score. Oh, no.

Oh, no. I have the high score. 6.649 million. Yep. Oh, shit. Wait, who's at? I took the picture and it was the wrong time because it was flashing. Baby, it's rat.

it's rat gotcha oh it's like not lighting up the same time wow I'm on the I'm I have the high score on your pinball machine did you get that today yes I did I get back to the office right before we recorded I thought I was going to be late I'm not stopping I'm not stopping I have to get this congratulations dude that's an awesome score

you must have to go for a while I mean miles did you get on the freeway Oh, like 48 or something Like it's like an insane Yeah, it's like way up there You get those freeway multipliers Yeah

I might try and go to the office next week Just to keep the shit out of you Yeah, you can try I'm going to share my screen This is going to date this a little bit Like this won't mean anything To the people that listen to this live Get ready to look at my screen

On Monday I told you guys I have a stream idea Okay Get ready Uh Fuck, sorry I'm gabining this.

I don't have my... You are, you're gabining it. Would you mind getting ready? Yeah, I do need to get ready. This is so crazy that I just wasn't prepared for it. Okay, I hop back into my Discord app, share screen. This is what the stream is today that you guys didn't know was coming. Okay.

Oh, we're letting right now what it is? I realized that in pinball FX, Earth Shaker is an available machine. No way! And the stream today was me. I was going to ask you guys what's the high score I want to set the high score in the office pinball machine

it's perfect now you know now you know the high score it's perfect it's serendipitous wow so you can pop in and you can play it

we talked about doing this once on on Facebook we talked about doing this I think this is it man this is this is this is full on this is the machine dude so that will be oh it's the sound

it's got the music and everything yeah it's an exact pulse so we're doing a pinball stream today where I want to set the office high score and then I got a bunch of other tables we can check out too. So fucking cool. That's Andrew. That's awesome. I'm very excited about

doing that and just amazing time and the fact that you happen that first of all we're recording this on a Friday which is unusual and that you set the record on the day and brought it up in the recording. It's all perfect. I can't wait for the stream later. Unreal. That's weird.

I was thinking earlier in the week like trying to hook up some like internet control buttons so you could actually play our machine, but this is much easier. We did talk about that. I was like, I wonder, because I know you guys had mentioned

Earthshaker is kind of an obscure cabinet, but I was like, I wonder if there's a virtual version of it anywhere, and it happened to be added to this game like six months ago. It was a relatively recent

DLC pack. Yeah, so. Yeah, apparently it was really popular for its time. It's just not really highly sought after now for some reason. It will be now. We're changing.

That's a regulation pinball machine right there, my friend. What's also really cool about this pinball machine in this game is that you can do like an updated version of it, like a virtual so if I hit B, you get like a little little earthquake like shaker machine,

you got him in the car on the left, like there's some different styling so you can like cycle between what it actually looks like and then like... It changes the topography between California and Nevada up top. That's so cool. Yeah, that's awesome. So that'll be the stream. I didn't plan on showing

this clearly because I didn't have it prepped but just when you brought up that score I was like I got to show this to you guys this crazy that is fucking awesome I'm really excited for the stream today yeah it's gonna be fun I can't wait to show the other tables as well hopefully get the score and then 6.6 is high I wonder where that is I mean look at the virtual leaderboard for earth shaker oh I bet it's so much I heard it has to be like it's like number one 154 million yeah there yeah yeah I'd like to see him do it on the actual Yeah, but let's scroll that. Like, $6 million is not an insignificant score.

$6 million is just scratching the computer starting number. Like, you can see that second place at 6.5. That is like the default high score. But think about it this way. If we look at the weekly, you are your fifth place or what, six? You'd be in sixth place this week. I mean, it's way higher than Gavin. Virtual score.

Well, I don't know if it's way high. Way higher. No, I think so. Hey, Nick. What day does this episode come out? What day are people listening to this? This comes out on the third. Of September.

Yep. Oh, okay. Why, what's up? I was just going to say, I think we may have already had the break show at this point. You think so? Wow. Maybe, because I was going to try to do it next week, but we have our thing next week. So maybe we'll do it like the first or the second.

second. But I was just going to bring up, I finally got to the post office the other day and went to pick up our mail and the lady brought out a shopping cart full of boxes that people had sent in. And so I need, we just need to get, get the ball rolling on that. Thank you so much for all this stuff you guys sent us. And seeing a lot of disparity in the address on some of the packages. So I figured I could read it real fast just to make sure that everybody knows what our address actually is. I think having a readout and maybe like a pop out in the video. Pop-house not a bad idea. The address is regulation company,

P-O-box 13146, 1-1-1-East 17th Street, Austin, Texas, 7-8701. Sometimes the street address got missed somehow. Interesting. So the new, the break show coming back, is that also just going to be like where you open fan mail and stuff?

Is it all sort of one umbrella? Yeah, I think, I think it's, we'll feel it out in the production as we're going but in my head it's kind of a cross between Awu and the break show you know I was even thinking about calling the regulation closet

and we just open up the closet and just pull stuff out of it whatever it is so it's like you know half audience submitted half you know weird oddities that I find so are you just going to go live one day with it or are we going to like announce it and figure all that out that's a great question we should probably figure

that out I want to be there, there. Well, I'm definitely going to let you know ahead of time. I'll just go live with you. Gavin, get here. We're live. I just see the notification that you're live, but I just have to get into an Uber. Yeah, we'll announce some sort of a test show probably,

and I doubt we would do it as a surprise. But I was trying to, I was just going to give people the note on the address, but then I was trying to decide if it's already come out or not. We're really close to starting it, and it just keeps getting pushed for other projects that are, you know... I feel like every time we went into that room, we'd be like, okay, well, we still need this,

and then we'd order some stuff, and then we'd put it in. And now we're at the point where we're just like standing, looking at everything, just like, I think this is it. Yeah, I think it's it's right. It's just going to require us all to be in the room for 45 minutes to, you know, just polish everything and make sure it works in OBS. Yeah.

I don't want to make this too sausagey, but maybe the first video is, like, announcing what the format of the break show will be going forward and you opening a few of the things and then like displaying because I think there are a lot of people that don't even know that we have a PO box. So I think having a little content piece to like really drive to it and also promote the start of the break show would be pretty cool. I think that's a great idea. Maybe let's let's table that discussion for a offer since it's probably not the most entertaining thing to hear. But anyway, just let the audience know we do have the PO box. It's open. If you did have

something you wanted to send us. It's now okay to send it to us. And we will be opening stuff that you send sooner than later. So thank you for all your support. And your attention on this matter. Have you ever opened up any of those like little basketball guy

blind boxes, Jeff? Like the little ball that you open up. It's got like a tiny rubber basket. Yeah. I've opened up in. I think it's called ballers. I've opened up a few. Yeah.

I got a Luca one somewhere in my bedroom. Oh, that's awesome. Or in my closet. Closet. What? In my office. you got there oh I'm looking at him right now he's up but he's he's next to puss-puss on the wall

oh pus-puss and Luca it's it's it's push-puss-luka and the pocket wrist pocket fantastic do you guys remember when we made a wrist pocket yes it seemed like 10 years ago absolutely does do you still have my freaking nice to 3E thrice to meet you glove thing yeah I have it

Okay. It's in my closet. As long as we still got it. Yeah, I'll bring it to the office. I have a bunch of stuff like that that's like souvenir-type shit that we could display. Can I serve up maybe some quail sliders on the first break show? Yeah. Uh, yeah.

Have you ever cooked sliders generally? Would this be your first slider? Have you ever cooked quail ever? Nope. Is it difficult to get? I imagine. It's me. I don't think so.

I don't think it would be difficult to get it. In the U.S., I don't think it would be difficult in the slightest. All right, good luck. You can just buy it off of a website. Texas quail farms raised. It's you buy an H-E-B. Yeah. Yeah.

There you go. Okay. I'll work on some recipes. Here's... Maybe the first burger and everyone's count is a quail burger. Well, as we discussed, we'd have to eat three for it to count. Right. That's, yeah.

That's true. Oh, am I cooking 12 quails? It's a lot of quails. Especially difficult when squirrels on your grill. Yeah. I need to clear that thing out. Yeah, you do. Yeah, if you're going to be making quail burgers, you better.

Oh, dude, maybe you should make squirrel burgers. See, that's probably not advised. It's a quick way to clear it out. See, that's an interesting one where if the squirrel was alive, I couldn't sentence the squirrel to death. But if I showed up and there was squirrel barbecued meat already there, then I'd be willing to eat. it. What wouldn't you eat

at this point? You just want to eat everything? No, that's not true. I wouldn't need a dove. I wouldn't order a squirrel off of a menu. Pigeon, yes. Dove, no, squirrel, yes. Squirrel, if it's free at a party, but he's never going to go out of his way to eat it. Yeah, like

the, I don't want to, I don't want the squirrel blood on my hands, but if it's on someone else's hands, then I just happen to be there, I'd be willing to try it. You'd have like a few sticks of quill Quirle? Quirle? What's that the Harry Potter guy?

Voldemort head. Like a squirrel satay. What? I don't even under... Chicken satay sticks. What? I'm so confused. You said Voldemort head and I just can't...

Well, it's a quarrel by accident. Oh. I got it, Gavin. I got it. Yeah, guys. He said quarrel. Yeah. Is that the name from the guy in Philosopher Stone that had the Voldemort head?

Was he quarrel? Yeah. Crazy Troll in the dungeon Bye Every opportunity to wrap this up It is petered out Like three or four times

In the chat In the chat I just keep going You wrap it up Seems like a good place to wrap it up To be fair It doesn't allow it to Peter in the edit Surely

Yeah yeah He's really gonna get in there And clean this up Nick Use your editing wizardry. Put every, all of your skills, uh, laser focused on this episode to make it the best episode of Regulation podcast that has ever released.

And why wouldn't it be? Because this was our 69th episode as Gaffin, uh, so sophomorically, uh, intoned early on in the episode. Thank you for listening to the previous 68. Thank you for listening to the next 68. Thank you for listening to the next 100,000 episodes. We're going to at some point, I'm thinking, kind of like alien earth style, we'll take our consciousness and we'll implant it

into younger, hotter bodies, and then we'll have superpowers that will allow us to continue to podcast into infinity. So we'll see you next time, and then every time, forever, always. Bye-bye. Bye-da. Bye.