F**kface - Sleeping on Icing // "I've Been in the Lab" [152]

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Thomas the Bumbler, Borzois, cool icing, gruping the scarlett, waffles, best fast food burger, our drafts, first rocks, Gavin's ice and apple, crisps, pancake lengths, Back Off, and screaming about backs. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Honey http://joinhoney.com/face Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face and ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You weren't here. I gave them a whole rundown. I gave them, I talked to them about the crazy, the Facebook messenger, like not hearing from people for like a decade and belonging to quarter WrestleMania and you wanted to be decided via a ladder match. And then Andrew had a weird ice pack.

Like it was a whole thing. Yeah. But that was 150. That was two episodes ago. So if you're hearing this, go back two episodes, you can hear that stuff. There was another episode that came out after what I just explained. And now we're on 152.

And now, Jeff, take it away. Hello and welcome to another episode of the face podcast. You heard it from Eric already. This is episode 152. My, my, my. Where does the time go? It feels like it was just episode 16 yesterday. My name is Geoff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew Panton and our British contingent. Who are we speaking with today? I'm Gavin. Oh, just a Gavin today. Okay.

Not cheeky yet. All right. Let us know if Errol decides to show up. What was the other dude's name? Thomas the Bumbler or whatever? Stuart the Bumbling Customer. Stuart the Bumbling Customer. Thomas the Bumbler. You know what? Next week. That the bumbling customer. Thomas the bumbler.

You know what? Next week... Thomas the bumbler is so much better. For next week, I should... Maybe I'll cut a compilation of all the videos of me as Stuart the bumbling customer throughout the years. I would love to see that.

You filmed videos of this? Oh, dude, I filmed everything. I'm so excited. Can you show it to Meg the way that you made her listen to the best of so that way it's just another thing she has to suffer through? She'll leave me. Gavin, I have got to say, man, I've known you now for, I don't know, 20 years or something, 19 years.

You are the gift that keeps on giving. I didn't know Errol or Thomas the Bumbler existed last week, and now to find out that his entire history has been recorded? God damn, dude. I bet. I'm sure of it. I must have been wearing Rooster Teeth merch as Stuart. That's great.

So Stuart's an RT fan. That's cool. I like him more already. That's fantastic.'m just i'm thinking about the weird thing gavin and i in the same space what a combination of weird like if somebody walked into a room that i was sleeping in with a fucking bag of icing on my head while there's somebody gagging in the bathroom brushing their teeth that's such a great one too a just complete weirdness yeah what were everyone else's? Eric said Gavin's supposed to be the boring one.

Not boring, just not interesting. Well, you did argue boring at one point, but that's fine. We can move on. You have alter egos, and you filmed videos of them. Yeah. No, you're right.

And I think... Was it a boring off or like a not... It was a boring off. It was a definite boring off. Yeah. Eric hated the bit. Well, it's bad for content. But it's the most boring and the entertaining show. I'm boring outside of content.

When I'm not Errol or Stuart. When you were a kid, when you were a young lad, and if you wanted to work up the courage to talk to a girl you were interested in, would you slip into Errol because he was a little bit cheekier and more confident or would you just go at his Gavin I wouldn't go anywhere

neither of them would go and talk to the girl so Errol wasn't into talking to girls either it wasn't just Gavin no they were both massive babies. So what was everyone else's weird but normal thing?

I don't think they said. I think it's just you and I currently. Eric says nothing. Eric says nothing. Entering the boring off. Eric said we're just normal. I don't think Eric's normal. We're just innocent men.

We don't have anything that don't think Eric's normal. Yeah, no, definitely not normal. We're just innocent men. Absolutely not. We don't have anything that's weird. No. Just normal men. You post pictures of those dogs all the time. Oh, do you have those things? Do you have borzois? The borzois.

Yeah, it's great. But you actually like it. You don't think that's a cool looking dog? Yeah, it's cool to look at once and be like, that's a pretty interesting looking dog. But you genuinely... Look at that thing. What the fuck?

That's crazy. It's like a dog with motion blur when it's still. It's like a physical Animorphs cover, but it's just one thing. It looks like you tried to take a panorama picture of a regular dog. It looks like you tried to take a panorama picture of a regular dog. That dog's eyes are looking up as if to say, Eric, please stop making fun of me. I think Jeff's was maybe Wolverine. I think that counts.

That wasn't specific related to that, but I think that qualifies. I think that's vulnerable in that moment. I had an issue with the icing it's too effective i used it recently i was uh trying to have a headache again no i just wasn't comfortable i was feeling like i'm a little hot i'm just gonna i need to go to sleep i'm gonna throw this icing on my head and it was so cool i was like this is one of the best ideas i've ever had this is fantastic and to reiterate is it cool from just being out in the room? It's not like a refrigerated ice.

No, no, no. It's just out in the room. It's always on my bedside table in the room. I like to keep my room really cold. So it gets really cold and I'll put on my head and it just feels so refreshing and just nice. I wonder if I put the icing on my head, I would gag. We I mean, we should try that at some point. But get the hair off. was uh i posted photo at

our slack of it that was a beard hair i had like a tooth issue and i was trying to like just numb here anyway um i put on my head wait what hang on hang on my mouth was sore so it's like you know i don't have ice so i'll just use the uh'll use the icing. I'll just lower it a little bit instead of being on my forehead. I'll put on my jaw. You what? How's the tooth doing? It's fine. We're OK.

But the issue with the icing is it's too good. It's too effective at being cooling and relaxing because I put it on as I'm just going to put this on for a little bit, get cozy, then I'll take it off. Then I'll be able to instantly fall asleep. And I put it on. I was like, this is. Then I'll take it off. Then I'll be able to instantly fall asleep. And I put it on. I was like, this is great. And then I woke up and it was morning and like eight hours had passed. And I was very groggy and being like, oh, fuck.

I don't think I don't remember what happened. I put the icing on and then that's all I remember. I don't think I took it. I put it away and I felt my end table and there's nothing there i was like oh no so i had to spend the first like minute and a half of waking up looking for my bag of icing in the bed terrified that somehow it had opened but i'm like going through the sheets i'm just like this is such a stupid problem i gotta find my icing do you think if you had had rolled over on it it would have i it seems pretty durable it seems like

a pretty big bag but it's just i was so confused it immediately knocked me out as soon as i put on my head i was you know how some people have water beds yeah i've never been on not anymore well there's probably some people out there with them I guess but maybe the icing bed the icing mattress would be the future oh that would be really mmm cause it would be it'd solidify you'd get some heat I think the problem would be you'd probably sink into it right

cause your body would heat up the icing and it would become looser and you'd slowly like melt down you'd slowly melt into the bed you'd just become like a knife through butter You'd slowly melt down in the night. You'd slowly melt into the bed. You'd become like a knife through butter as you sleep. Exactly. The first thing I thought of was that he was sleeping on a big cake,

and then the whole thing is icing, so I guess it's not. I think what you're describing, eventually, we are a short walk to sleeping on cake. That is where I think we're going with this right now. Can we fill an inflatable mattress with icing for Andrew? We can? Yes. That would be tough. How would you need to, like, syringe? What would you do?

How would you fill it? Just get, like, a pump. Yeah, that would be it. It would just get... Or just get the icing thing that they do to put on cakes. Just a massive one? Yeah. You just have to refill it all the time.

I think you would sleep so well. I don't know if I would, but it's... I don't think you would at all. I think I have the optimal icing experience as is. I'd worry about sinking through the bed with the full icing. You wouldn't melt through the plastic. I sleep pretty hot, and, you know, as a blanket guy, I got a lot of blankets on there.

I feel like it generates and maintains heat. I think I would go through it. Yeah, but from our previous conversations, it sounds like only from the knees down do you actually interact with the mattress. The rest of you is up eight pillows. No, so it's sort of like what I'm saying. There's a decline for sure. Like, I start at the top of you is up eight pillows no no so it's sort of like what i'm saying there's a decline for sure like i start at the top of pillow mountain and i slowly go like i i float

down into it or i plummet into the bed maybe mattress is out then and we just give you a nice big uh icing pillow oh that would be good but again, I feel like I have the optimal experience because it gets hot. I have to take it off after like 10 or 15 minutes. So you got to rotate. The icing is too hot? Well, it becomes like room temperature. Like it's no longer cool.

I no longer feel the effect. So I'll put it on like maybe 10 minutes one side and then I'll flip it over. Yeah. And then you switch to one of the other seven pillows. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah, I guess.

But then it just seems like that's too much icing. A giant pillow's worth of icing. That seems like a lot. Or this is a nice little bag I could just put on my bedside table. Hmm. It's not inconvenient in any way. That was just a whole having to try to find the icing, falling asleep with it.

It was a dangerous game. It felt like a potential. Do I also, I don't know, do I i sound okay i had a whole issue with my setup recently what what happened you sound like you sound fine my i was worried i broke everything and i was scared to tell nick um i climbed in the bed and a blanket ended up underneath one of the legs of my chairs and i filled up my gerbler all the way and i was like i'm gonna wake up gonna drink some water begin my day and the blanket cover was stuck or the blanket was stuck under the wheel i pulled the wheel the chair fell backwards it knocked over my gerbler the least like you never want to spill a full group there's so much water it was like a

wave hit my desk and it all fell over whatever my equipment is. What is this thing called? The Scarlet? No, the Scarlet. Yeah. Went all over the Scarlet. So I was terrified I broke that. I assume that's an expensive piece of tech. I have no idea. But we're good? We sound good? Yeah, you sound great. Great. Okay.

I'm losing his fucking mind. What flavor is the icing? Just plain vanilla, I assume. I could probably, you know what? I could, I don't know if I still have the box for it, but it came from a gingerbread house, so theoretically people could get an identical bag. You could experience this.

Is that important to people? No, I'm just saying if they want to test it out, like they could get the exact same bag of icing that i use well obviously not the exact same but would you consider mailing it to austin to take a place in the face museum uh i could but that's a big ask because it's it's a really big part of my rotation i was just about to say when he didn't immediately go oh that's a good idea i went i don't know if this one's happening it is a great idea even though he just told everyone how to get one yeah yeah well i mean he already has one but i'd have to buy a new ginger bread house what okay okay what if you just give us a picture of the box and then we can go buy uh our own gingerbread house and then we can put a

like a facsimile of the the icing in the museum like this is what it looks like i'm okay with that i'm i'm even potentially okay with mailing it away i just need to make sure i can find the box and i know which one it is because it's kind of it's kind of like when you go to a museum not all of the paintings are the real paintings like Like, some of the more Yeah! Some of the pricier, rarer paintings are just really good dupes that assholes get to look at, but the real paintings, you know, in cold storage somewhere being kept safe.

Would you guys be open to trying this? Like, we did the waffle thing. What do you mean by trying? I don't know how to duplicate necessarily. You know what? I'm gonna come back to this. I'm gonna try putting it in my fridge and see how that compares to the standard experience I have. And the same way that I bought everybody tiny waffle makers, we all make desk waffles. And I feel like the reception generally was pretty good to that idea. Yeah.

I think a better experience than you would have anticipated. So maybe I know this seems insane, but maybe maybe this is in the same boat of you know what? It's ridiculous, but it's a pretty good idea. Works pretty well. Life hack. Can we can we announce that we have made and we saw the first iteration of the waffle maker? Oh, I'd love to. So I think that's going to there's some that are going to be at RTX, right?

I believe, I think you'll be able to buy them at RTX and then we'll also have them available online. We made a mini waffle maker that says, it says face on it. It has the logo stands in the middle of the waffle. It's real. Did we find a way to sell it for less than like 80 bucks? Yes.

Yeah, I believe we did. Oh, nice. Yeah. It looks so good. Oh, that's so amazing. I mean, look at this. It's beautiful. That's crazy.

That's crazy. Imagine the syrup flowing around the logo. I was thinking the same thing. Like, could you imagine like the little stars are full of butter and syrup? That'd be the best part. Wow. What letter do you think is going to taste the best?

The C. The C? You think the C? I think the ratios are good. The A has a lot of space. I see what you mean, though, with the ratios. I think the K looks

especially delicious as well. I was kind of leaning towards K as well. I think if you can eat both stars together that will be the best part but if it is only a single star it will not hold up interesting so so all right both stars should be consumed together as well that's what i that's how i feel personally but you know you guys eat your waffles the way that you want when i get my one of these i'm just gonna cut to cut off everything except the logo

and then cut each thing into individual letters and just do taste tests, I think. I think that's the way to go. I think, yeah. Do you have a certain way you eat your waffles or pancakes? My mouth. Your mouth? That's a good thing. I'm glad that it's being used for other things than the Danes' dick.

It's a great second rotation. Sorry, that was Terry or whatever. That was a little bit sassy. Where did this bit come from? 150 episodes and now we're just getting them. Just going after them. What's going on? I had a real... That was Terry or whatever I don't remember

Errol that was Errol 2.0 you Errol you need your own Errol I'm Carol I'm completely different very unique that was that was a very Roman Raymond type comment Roman for the record Gavin I left that

joke in 151 as Andrew brought it to 151. I'll never use it again. I just had to. I was so disappointed with your response. I probably will. I'll probably use it again. I didn't know what to do with it. Oh, man. Hey, you know what, though?

Just put it in your mouth, alright? Oh, yeah. So what is the answer to that question? The cutting? The structure? How do you do it? I like to cut corner by corner. I like to leave the space in the middle last. I always do that whenever I'm eating anything,

like pancakes specifically. And it became weird. Remember when I had the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle waffle maker? Yeah. That was one of my rotational ones. It would just be the turtle nose. So I just end up with a little turtle nose of a pancake, which wasn't the most appetizing but i just have a certain structure i don't think i have an approach to eating a waffle i think i just eat it yeah i think i eat it i think the middle part

always tastes the best so i save that for last so i go like top left right and then i naturally kind of leave the middle area is that how you do an mcdonald's cheeseburger i feel like the middle of that is always pretty good. Really? You think the middle of the cheeseburger is the best part? Interesting. No, I've never tried just eating the edges of the burger. Just taking a bite and then rotating a little bit.

That's interesting. I did try. I thought in my head the greatest fast food burger would be a quarter pounder patty with a whopper bun as a thought i had recently so i did that would not recommend wasn't good oh what wasn't good about it uh what was weird is the patty had more to do with the taste of the bun than i anticipated wait you did this i did this yeah i did this weeks ago it was like three weeks ago i did i just i had the thought i was like what would be the best fast food burger and i like the chewiness of the burger king bun but i really like like the patty and everything

of the quarter pounder i think it's good i like that he does this and it doesn't even register as a face bit like he you did this weeks ago and you never talked about how you bought two burgers from separate places made them one super burger, and never brought it up. We had a whole bit about mixing different condiments together and it almost ended the show. Now you're mixing different fast foods together? Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why

I didn't bring it up. This is, what? Because there's a Burger King and a McDonald's next to each other for where I live, and I thought, huh, they'd still be fresh, and I could put the whopper on the quarter pounder uh bun and all that and put the the the quarter pounder on the whopper and so I tried both it was very weird because the bun tastes kind of like it translated with the patty like when I was eating the quarter pounder it tasted more like a quarter pounder than it did a whopper and then when I ate the whopper

like the the chewiness of the bun it was very out there just like freaky friday at your lunch yeah i was yeah well i was i was considering like what would be a great addition is wendy's has the best bacon but the wendy's isn't close to the burger king or the mcdonald's so i couldn't just get a baconator to then pluck the bacon and then you need to have equal sandwiches because you don't want to waste any food. So it was a whole thing. But I've been in the lab. I've been figuring out.

I didn't report on it because it wasn't great. Yeah, Jeff, get a load of this fucking scientist. I thought... We have to make a face lab coat for Andrew. I've been in the lab. I've been trying things. What else are you doing in the lab? Well, it became really, I was genuinely disappointed

by how not great either burger was with that flip. So it gave me, I lost some burger confidence in quite a literal way. And I've been back to the drawing board of a thing. I had an A&W burger recently. It had surprisingly good bacon it might have sneaky good fast food bacon so there's a wendy's next to an aw where i live so maybe i'll try to mash that up in some way i don't know andrew andrew here's what i'm gonna say something

here i think i think you are a visionary and i think that what you're what you've been working on the in the lab could be groundbreaking and I recognize that this is not Eric's other fucking fast food show so we probably don't want to go too heavy into it but for instance the first thing that pops into mind is Emily's family has this

Christmas Eve tradition where for Christmas Eve they set out all their fine china like the nicest plates and knives and shit they have. And by the way, Emily does this at our house, too. This is now our family tradition. And then on Christmas Eve at about 6 p.m., you drive around to any restaurant you want to go to, any fast food restaurant you want to go to, and get as much as you want. So, like, I get a big beef and cheddar from arby's right

but then i get the fries from mcdonald's and then i get like chicken nuggets from what or like a burger from water burger whatever and you end up going to like nine fast food restaurants and you just get a little bit of everything and then you go home and you put it all on your plate and you eat it like it's a fancy meal and i've always thought that that was kind of brilliant and i've really enjoyed the whole process of it but you've taken it to such another level by mixing and matching within the burger itself like i'll be honest my brain's kind of exploding with possibility right now i'm thinking about like what can i what can i mash up between Taco Bell and Whataburger? Yeah, I mean, it's an interesting thought. I'm gonna think differently

every time I go to a fast food restaurant for the rest of my life because of this. You're gonna think outside the bun. I'm gonna think outside the bun. It's tough too because like chicken burgers, like their bun is a different type of texture typically than a beef. I don't think I want the chicken burger experience

from a bun perspective on a beef patty. I don't think that would be good burger experience from a bun perspective on a beef patty. I don't think that would be good. I could be wrong. Haven't done the science. Haven't tested in the lab yet. Could be wrong but I think that's how I'm leaning. What's the name of your scientist character? It's just me, unfortunately. I sadly just have to live

with this is just me. Gavin, is this something you'd ever do? No. I wouldn't even think to do it. It's phenomenal. I'm just, you know, I'm working things out. And also, I figured we're doing more into,

we're doing drafts occasionally. I'm going to have such a better scouting report than all of you if we do like a draft. And the same way we did malls, if we did like a fast food item draft and who would have the best restaurant i would feel very confident do we talk about how we recorded those the i don't think we have i was shocked at how well the mall draft went i was shocked at how different they were like they are entirely different vibes. The rock draft was aggressive and angry

and a lot of yelling and screaming, whereas the mall draft was weirdly warm and nostalgic. It was insane because we recorded them back to back, and what a wild ride it was to be a part of those two recordings. I don't

know when they're coming out, but I thought they were both fucking great, and they got me so excited about doing more drafts. Our YouTube channel is pretty action-packed with supplemental stuff now. We've got like regulation animation.

We've got all the does-it-dos are out. We've got Condor Man to come out still. We've got the drafts. It's full of stuff that is in this podcast, which I think is great.

Yeah, me too. And we've got, probably not ready to dive into it now, but Eric and I have been thinking about this idea for a baseball type thing we want to do that could potentially be more supplemental content. With a lot of irons

in the fire. We got a six foot hole to dig in the backyard. We got a Jason Bourne, some buses. We got a lot of stuff on the horizon as well. We got to do the tuxedo thing too. Yeah. There's so much for this show that it just is like half

an idea that becomes something where I go, man, that was fun. It just ends up being so much fun. And I'm glad we just do it. I'm really glad we just do it. It's always a good time. We're like Nike. Okay. Does it do it. I'm really glad we just do it. It's always a good time. We're like Nike. Okay.

Does it do it? Just do it. It was very clever of me. Speaking of just doing it and making fun stuff, Andrew, give me a number between 1 and 30. 5. 5. Gavin, give me a number between 1 and 30.

That's not 5. 16. 16. Eric? Lucky 13 13 nick damn he took mine 21 21 okay and i'm gonna pick nah uh i'm gonna pick 27 okay so uh those are the uh when i prepare the new bingo cards, because tonight we are recording, I mean, it'll be way in the past by the time you're listening to this, but tonight we're recording our first test of Sloppy Joe's bingo.

We're going to do that. And so those are the numbers of the bingo cards I'm going to print out for you guys. I have the 30, I make 30 at a time, so those are the ones you guys will get for the event tonight. I can't wait. I wrote down 37 for me

it's 27 what the fuck is wrong with me it doesn't even go that high this show is sponsored by better help it is so important to make sure you have time to cater to your feelings and your needs there are times in life where maybe there's a situation or you're trying to support somebody that takes a lot out of you, but it's just so important to make sure that you're also taking care of yourself because it's so easy to get caught up

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One of them was very argumentative, and one of them, I think, was very supportive and sweet, and I think was argumentative, rightfully so, because there's some insane picks taken, in my opinion, in the first draft. Eric, could we potentially tweet what people think

should be the first overall pick in the Rock Not Rock draft and see if any of them line up? I mean, do you want me to give what the first picks were in the choice, or what do you want me to list? No, maybe just have people reply. Also, last week when we did this, I made a joke of that I wanted a recount on the weirdness thing because I should have a higher percentage of the vote. We stopped recording, and the first thing I did was everyone left, and I opened Twitter,

and that was the top of my feed was that poll, and I was just, you son of a bitch. God damn it. You actually did it. I did, and I had a higher percent of the vote it was exactly 73.6 percent says andrew is the weird one which you know i think this episode especially it's probably 78 uh if we did another count but i'd just like to see i don't think any person will take as the first overall pick of the not rock draft we might have to bleep that if the rock draft isn't out by that yeah we should believe i clearly i had to pick it first because clearly

somebody else also wanted to pick it first we should go further but i just i i'd love to see a twitter thing and wanted to call out the fact that I love that you did that I was annoyed but also appreciated what do you so I'm gonna put this tweet out right now is it what should be the first pick in the rock rock draft yeah I think it'd be like what's your prediction on or what would

you pick what would be your first overall pick in a rock not rock draft yeah in a rock not rock rocks not rocks I think overall pick in a rock, not rock draft. Yeah. And a rock, not rock rocks, not rocks. Uh, I think that I, I think we were coming at it from different angles. Cause like you were trying to pick the legitimate best rock,

not rock in the world. And I was going only for comedy and to pick stuff. Nobody else picked, but it was on everyone's board. I just, I was so fucking surprised that my pick that that pick was on other boards. I really didn't think anybody else would pick it I wasn't even sure

that everybody knew what it was it's like an old ass thing from my childhood that I assume is still around but I don't think they're super popular in 2023 I would love to see people trying to guess what you're talking about now because we bleeped me saying what it is.

What just like all the context clues of if people will be able to accurately guess the item that you're talking about. Anyway, those are going to be great. I'm excited for people to listen to them. And I'm excited for Sloppy Joe's tonight. I'm going to be honest. I haven't watched a single second of a Sloppy Joe's live stream. I've been waiting. So this is going to be my first experience.

Let me preface this by saying that we're doing it 8 o'clock Central, so that'll be 6 o'clock your time. It's 9 o'clock Sloppy Joe's time. Slop o'clock is 11.15. So why are we doing it early? I think people have to have lives and shit and probably want to go to bed and stuff.

But I'm just saying some of the wilder behavior may happen more towards the end like the chance of us seeing somebody throw up are better at 11 p.m than they are at 9 p.m but it should still be fun it should still be a good time okay i just uh if it's not as rambunctious as as we've made it sound it may just be because it's 9 p.m on a th Thursday night. And I just, I don't know. I just, I can't guarantee how drunk those idiots will be. First reply by Daniel Rolls on the Rock Not Rock draft. From the seaside. Don't know if they have that outside the UK.

I looked it up and it is, it's what Gavin drafted. That was my first pick. And it would be. I that was my first pick and it would be I've noticed it's a terrible pick no it's cool because they they put letters through it

can you mute that person from the account Eric because they have zero good picks you don't need to see whatever they're saying

and I say that respectfully to whoever that is it's the first are you fucking serious the first comment was that i opened i tweeted it i gave it a second i went back look not a number one saw it right there and it's i don't i don't i'm i gotta i'm opening i don't believe that you did not plant this at

some i this i don't know who this i don't know who daniel rolls is i don't talk to these fucking people well i just i did tweet itself i'm saying i feel like there's gotta let me i got blown away by that and two out of the five of us also did it well yeah but because i expect that from you guys i have a lower bar here and then i didn't expect it from us based on your reaction to no you hit a new low you're right that's actually a fair statement you did hit the bar went lower i assumed it was on the ground. There's a terrible pick. 13 replies. Okay. You know what? Respectfully to Jess, whatever.

They said the phrase that rocks. That's a worse pick. That's it. That's an even. I thought you had a bad one. Maybe I was too critical on your pick. Drafting that rocks is horrendous as a first overall. drafting that rocks is horrendous as a first overall i have never seen somebody so opinionated about rocks in my life his opinions are so strong

i mean jeff they're not rocks he's like they're not he's like hank on breaking bad oh this is really something it's fun to have really strong opinions on things that shouldn't have opinions i'm almost certainly wrong there's no data i can't prove that i'm right it's just opinion i just think from my perspective from my life experience that's a terrible pick that's where um we're half an hour in and i'm still staring at the shit. Yeah. Okay. We need to... Huff some ice. Huff some ice. Oh, God. So are you going to go with the idea?

That apple looks a little rough. Okay. Okay. Let me say something. That is way older than the apple milliate. I guarantee you. At least apple hasn't started to eat itself yet like that. Yeah. This is shriveled.

I don't know how long it's been shriveled. Okay. So will the apple, you think, make you gag if you cut it open? Are we going to get a double gag? Fuck off. God damn it, next. It's every comment. Oh, God.

I might be in a minority here. So I think you start with the ice and then you do the apple second. Yeah, I think it's the other way. Okay, so I'm going to take the lid off this goopla. And video, please, video it. Oh, can you? Can you give me a second? Like, I think it's good. Okay. So I'm going to take the lid off this Gerpla. All right. Let's add video. Video, please. Video it.

Oh, can you? Can you give me a second? Like, don't do it yet. Just get your... Can you live stream your video or is that not possible? I don't have a webcam. Oh, that's okay. Never mind.

No, it's okay. It's okay. It's not a big deal. Yep. Don't worry about it. I don't want to slow the bit down. All right. So I'm just going to huff this ice. Yep. I want to see if slow the bit down. All right, so I'm just gonna huff this

ice. I want to see if it makes you gag. Okay, here we go. You ready? Three two one Even if you don't gag, that's so pained. You okay? I hear you laughing in it. Now I'm just laughing into a cup of ice. No, no gag. Wow, okay.

So maybe it's more to do with your body. It is, you know, cold. Actually, the air wasn't that cold. So maybe it's more to do with your body. Yeah. Actually, the air wasn't that cold. So now you're going to cut into the apple? What's the plan with the apple? I think you should just take a bite. Am I just biting it?

Yeah, you bite in. You're going to vomit in that. I mean, if you want to film yourself on your phone, that's cool. You don't have to. Oh, I'm doing that already. Oh, great. Okay. Dear, oh dear. This doesn't feel like something I want to bite.

All right. No, it doesn't look like something you'd want to bite. Go ahead. Here we go. Down the hatch. Oh. Oh, dear. Now, you rated the apple kind of low to begin with. Oh Oh Yeah Now you rated the Apple kind of low to begin with I think that's right

It's like sour grit sour grit oh You're handling better than I try try the other side. Oh, yeah, go for the other side Oh, let me swallow this. Should I swallow this? No! No, no, no, no, don't swallow it. Spit it out. Just spit it into the ice. Okay, bite in the other side.

Oh, it's soft. Oh. Oh. Ugh. Yeah? It sounds worse. That was like, just grit. Like like all the flavor is in the other side that was just empty app that's like if someone was designing an apple and they just wanted like

the matter the apple shell that's just that well that is it's just empty flavored apple now do you think like the flavor died on that, or did the party move all to the other side of the apple? I think the party sort of seeped into the other side. I see. Interesting. Okay, so it's an even more flavorful bite than it originally was, is what you're saying.

Oh! I'm gonna... I can't stare at this. I'm gonna throw it away. Yeah. Yeah, please do. That's fair. You did the research.

And for a guy who gags all the time, congratulations on not throwing up. I violently vomited when I tried mine. Yeah, really. Yours was worse, I would say. I mean, a bad apple's a bad apple. I'm just saying kudos to Gavin for holding it together. Oh, absolutely.

Definite kudos. You also liked the apple more. And the fact that he started from a position of not being the biggest fan of it yeah mine mine wasn't melted as much as jeff's though that seems to have yeah it's yours seems to be maintaining an apple consistency and shape whereas mine was soup i would say honestly i wish i'd waited another six months on that because that was i think that still had some time but it just wasn't good i feel like if you were to wager, if somebody said,

what will make this guy gag? Biting into a 14-month-old apple or walking outside when it's hot to cold? I don't think many people are taking the hot to cold. It's shocking to me that you have just walked through this 14, 15 month old apple. I'm assuming it doesn't look good. It does not look good. Are you OK, Gavin? Are you recovering?

I have to get a palate cleanser. That's fair. It's really weird to be on the other side of this. I almost in every other point of doing something like this. I am in the Gavin role. This might be a first where we're just observing gap.ic asked a great question what did you get yeah what's the cleanser uh just a handful of granola what's funny about that just a hand grab it a handful of granola you live a fun life what a weird what a weird handful i. I just looked in the little pantry

and grabbed a handful of something. What's wrong with that? No, it's fine, I guess. I've never heard of anyone say, I've just got a handful of granola. I'm gonna wash this apple down with some granola. Well, I don't usually wash down a year old apple. I just didn't know what to do. That's true. Do you think

that would be the ideal pairing? How did the granola go with the apple? It made the granola go with the apple? Yeah, it made the granola taste pretty good. Really? Oh, so it's like a flavor enhancer. Interesting. Good for you, Gavin. I'm surprised you didn't gag. I would have bet anything that at least one of those things would have made you gag.

Yeah, I'm disappointed I didn't. I feel like I've gagged many times in this podcast, and I assume that would be why. That was kind of a letdown for me. I mean, you can brush your teeth on the podcast, and we'll definitely get it then. Oh, God. that was kind of a letdown for me i mean you can brush your teeth on the podcast and we'll definitely get it then oh god next time i'll get a mic cable long enough to get into the bathroom if we ever need to do another morning with face so waking up with face like we did before that would be a great everybody brushes their teeth that would be so horrible to listen to never mind scrapping that idea everybody brushing their teeth into the mic oh could you imagine if we had and i'm not advocating that we do this at all uh i'm just

it's just fun to play with the idea could you imagine if we had our own version of like good morning america it was like good morning face and we like it's like wake up with face and we tell you about like the soft news of the morning and then you try a little recipe with shack or whatever and then i don't know or like gordon ramsay comes on to show off some fritters and teaches you how to make them and then it but it's just like it's like us plug good morning america i what do you mean your idea is to take a very rigid segmented program and just have at it yeah like what would our version of it be? Yeah. Like we'd be making a Plowman's pizza with Hoda and fucking Kathy Lee or whatever. I don't know.

I just think it would be funny. I feel like it would. You think so? I wonder what our dynamic would be like. I remember what it was like that one morning, but if we had a... I'm not saying we should do it. I don't want to do it.

I'm just saying. It's just like theater of the mind. I feel like it's what we're doing, but less funny in my head. It wouldn't be as good. I don't know what the rigidity of the bits or whatever. The segments. Well, they don't have to be

rigid. I'm just thinking of us in the morning trying to entertain people as they start their day. We'd be grumpy, probably. Somebody would be in a bad mood. I don't know. It just seems like it could be a thing. I'm not saying it should be a thing. I'm just envisioning... You know what? Snicked?

Snicked. You guys both got fucked. You're dead. I think he just popped the claws out. Oh, no. I did a lot more to pop the claws. I popped your heads off. I did a lot more to pop the claws. I popped your heads off. Na, na, na.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Well, we're going to get the reverse of that tonight because this is the latest we've recorded. Oh, no. We recorded at 9 p.m. once, didn't we? Yeah. Yeah.

I like that we did that for that, but we're not doing this for sloppy chips. We can push it back. We can push it back farther. Now that we're doing it remote, we can definitely push it back further. I don't mind that. I just didn't want to do something super late on a Thursday, and I knew that other people had stuff very early on Friday.

So it's up to you guys. I don't mind changing the time some. To what time? We can figure that out after. We don't need to do that now. What time? We can figure that out after. We don't need to do that now.

I don't think there should be like a legal protection against you after biting a year old apple and huffing ice that you shouldn't be allowed to make any commitments for like at least 15 minutes. I can't believe I survived my own double gag gauntlet. You sure did with flying colors. It was pretty impressive. It was very impressive. Did you buy all the crisps yet

he doesn't have the list but it's so funny you mentioned that just just about to say the exact same thing but we need to all submit his stuff i'm so i pulled up i have links eric so you could buy i have my chip selection i assume we're all doing three or four yeah that would be it yeah yeah okay well i have my links i'm ready i was gonna send them to you yesterday but i thought oh i don't want to just randomly send this without you know i don't know when this will happen i'd love to do that so if you guys could come up with your chips that'd be great we could do it yeah i could do that love it uh spell speaking of chips uh this is actually something i'd put in my notes um i discovered something that i like very very much but I can only eat like

three of before I've hit my limit and it got me wondering what is the thing that you like to eat the most that you can eat the least like in this instance for me it's dill pickle potato chips like they're fucking the first one's amazing the second one's even better

the third one's great and by the fourth one I'm like put it back I don't need it I can't I can't handle it like it back. I don't need it. I can't handle it. I just hit a limit immediately. And what if you can't handle it? You're just done with it? Yeah, it's just too much flavor. It turns in me after a few. And it's like, oh, I have to put it back. I've had a bag I've been trying to work through

for a month because I can't eat more than three or four at a time. And it just goes from amazing to hard stop. My body's just like, you've had four, that's too many. I mean, that's pancakes for me. Okay. Yeah, after five bites of pancakes, I'm sick of them.

That's crazy to me, because the pancakes for me is the food I could almost endlessly eat. My ceiling is way higher on pancakes. Could you eat to the ceiling? What size pancakes? We talking? No. I'm gonna say no. I'm done with food stuff. I've got... I had a moment where I was like, you know what? I think

I could probably do that. And then the flashes of all the food trauma of this show of trying to... No. How tall are your ceilings? How tall are you? Like six feet? Who are you talking to? Me? Yeah yeah i'm like five foot ten if we built you out of pancakes how much would you eat from the head down which could you eat to the shoulders just it just in height how what's the average are we talking flapjacks what side there's

a wide range of pancakes flapjacks sand dollar pancakes those are tiny ones like i'm saying there's a variance smaller smaller pancakes not tiny but but not like giant flapjacks i could you know what let's say this if i fell into a pit of pancake sand i could probably eat my way out from the waist down anything past that would be a problem i I would say come to the waste. Yeah. So like if I'm in quick, I'm imagining this, my waist,

the waist, I'd say the waist is the area, you know, like in a, in like a movie, an old movie, you don't really see quicksand anymore. They got rid of quicksand.

What's the last time you saw quicksand? Gavin set up such an easy scenario. It is the same height as you. And you went, if I was in pancake quicksand what are you talking about so you say you're eating your legs no i'm not eating my leg i'm saying that if i stepped in if there was uh like a a pancake was a natural thing you found in the wild and i stepped into the quicksand equivalent where i'm just slowly sinking into the cake if i got cakes all around me and they're slowly rising i if i started eating when it was at waist level i would be okay because i have really short legs as we've established i'm almost all

back so yes you're you're eating legs worth'm eating a legs worth, but honestly it would be fascinating to know the size difference of the two. Like, I bet you I am, my legs worth is probably 20%, and my back is 80%. Are we doing this by weight or by mass? I'm doing by height. By length, right? By length.

Yeah. By length of thing. I have very short legs. You could eat your legs worth, but maybe not Nick's legs worth. Absolutely. Yeah, I don't think anyone here can eat my back length of pancakes. It's a lot of pancakes. It's a huge amount. God, why do I want to...

Why do I want to... Where do we cut off, like, for the back? Where does the back stop? Is it at the shoulder blades? Yeah, I think so. Okay. It's at the top of the shoulders. of the shoulders okay where the neck where the neck begins yeah where the neck begins it's neck to like the elastic of your boxes because the spine goes further than you would anticipate from what i've seen are you guys anticipating spine length or

where are you on that i'm just thinking just thinking, isn't the back the spine? The entirety of the spine is the back, or is there a difference? Is there a point where the back exists, but the spine doesn't begin? The spine ends in the base of your skull. It's like in your head. And it goes all the way down the back, right? Like if you grab someone's spine, that's their back. Oh, wait, the tailbone,

was that connected to the spine? It's the end of the spine, I think. But then, like, your ribs are also your back. Like, they're not the same. I don't, I won't, yeah. I guess, I mean, I can see. Like, what's your lap? Could you eat your lap's worth of pancakes?

I don't think so. That seems like a lot. What is your lap? Could you eat your lap's worth of pancakes? I don't think so. That seems like a lot. What is a lap? When Scorpion pulls your spine out, does it have the ribs on it too or is it just the spine? I think it's just the spine. It's just the spine.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about. Like Predator is in my head of like, that's where I see the most spines, I feel like, in Predator movies. I think it goes from the belt line to the top of your shoulders. Belt line, top of the shoulder? Yeah.

So I think... Next time we record, I'll let you know how far that is. We can measure. We can figure out roughly how many pancakes it would be to eat my back's worth of... What unit of measurement

do they use in Canada? What do you... Like meters. Like centimeters. So it's useless to Eric and I. Okay. Yeah, I could convert, though. Thank you.

I appreciate that. I'm used to it. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, I think that'll work. How many pancakes do you think, just as a guess, like a jelly bean in a jar thing, how many pancakes can make my back? We're just going height.

We're not going width. We're just going height. 28. No. 28. That is a tiny. I think you're bad at this game. I think your back is 56 pancakes

i that that's a little bit closer i for me gavin it was like you looked at the jar jelly beans and said 12 like that's a good point that's like a quarter a quarter of a meter yeah it's gonna be it's gonna be like 80 i i that's probably even closer i bet you it's got to be. It's got to be like 80. That's probably even closer. I bet you it's at least in the 70s. But we have to come up with a standardized height for pancakes, I guess, becomes the problem. Centimeter.

So are you saying you have the longest back in face? Undeniably, I have the longest back in face. If somebody, I would be genuinely disappointed. But Jeff would be genuinely disappointed here surely got a longer back i don't i'm a lot of torso too i have uh for my height i think my legs are a little short okay well are we gonna have a back off no i'm not trying to i'm just curious i think we should all back off can everybody measure your back before the next episode? Yeah, absolutely. I can measure my back now. Does that need to be done separately? How are you going to measure your back? It's behind you.

You need somebody to help you. What are you talking about? I can hold the tape measure to my back and I can grab the other end of it. I don't know where a tape measure is. I'm not trusting that measurement. I need Meg to do it.

Are you serious? I'm not doing it myself. I'm going to have Emily do it. I want to get a precise measurement. I definitely need assistance for this. I don't want to half-ass this. How are you going to measure it? It's fine.

Well, you can't trust that. They don't measure themselves at the combine, Gavin. They could if that was an efficient, if that was an appropriate way to measure distance or length. They do it that way. They don't measure themselves at the combine, Gavin. They could if that was an efficient, if that was an appropriate way to measure distance or length. They do it that way. They don't. Somebody helps.

25 inches. That's how long your back is? Yep, just measure my back. All right, I'm going to measure my back. Okay, well, these are... Not that hard. Super easy to do. Incredibly easy to do.

The integrity of these numbers are not as accurate. These are not official numbers. These are, yeah. These have to be as accurate. These are not official numbers. These are, yeah. These have to be independently verified. Absolutely. I'm not going to make my wife measure my back. You're not going to make her. You're going to ask her,

and she's going to be happy to do it because she loves you and likes to spend time with you. You think that's how we spend time? No. Have you ever done it before? It might be you might discover that it's something that you guys love to do together. It's true.

21 is a silly tradition. Are you going to trust Gavin with the number that he comes back with? 21. What was yours, Eric? Like, really, are you going to? What was yours? No. 25?

Was it 25? Mine was 25. Wait, your back is 25 and mine is 21? Short back, baby. They're already shaky about the numbers, Jeff. You got a short back. Are you sure that yours is 24? No, he said 25.

I'm sure it's 25. Goddamn it, I'll be back. Hold on. I'm gonna wait. So wait, I'm touching it to like the small of my back, like my boxers area. Yep. From the elastic to the top of the shoulders, which would be the bottom of your neck, and

that would be it. 22 that time. Oh, interesting. I have a lot of confidence in my number. I don't have a lot of confidence in Gavin's. That was weird. He just got an inch taller. Come on.

Well, I did it sitting down the second time. Were you sat down when you measured? No, I'm standing. I have a standing desk. Oh. There's going to be an angle. I don't trust it. I'm going to get accurate measurements.

Are you guys going to trust Jeff with whatever he comes back with? Should I not know Jeff's number? Because I don't want to seem like I'm trying to boost my own. Oh, I definitely want to know Jeff's number. Well, should I not know it, though? I agree.

I think you can know it. Okay. I think should I not know it, though? I agree. I think you can know it. Okay. I think I'm going to trust you with this, Andrew. I appreciate that. Yeah, I think I'm choosing to trust you. After the whole lotto ball thing, I feel like it's been against the wall. You know what I mean?

But I didn't lie about that. I don't trust Eric's numbers at all. I just measured 22 inches. There's no way. Why did Nick said, do you go to shoulders or to your head? Why would you also measure your neck? Your neck is not your back.

It's not your back. I ended it like my main spine nodule at the top of my shoulders. Yeah, same. Okay. So as it stands right now, Eric has the longest back. I don't buy it for a second.

There's no way. I will say looking at the Brahma's photos, you do not strike me as the guy with the longest back. I agree with you, yet here we are. No, we're not here we are. You measured wrong. Nope. I would say that.

Here's what we do. We're measuring at the next. Since Eric doesn't want to get his wife involved, we're measuring at the next office day. We look at the Brahma's photo, them standing in front of the logo. You guys seem like you have essentially identical length and legs, but Jeff seems like he's got a significantly larger back than you.

And yet, here we are. With an incorrect measurement, I agree. Nick hasn't measured. Yeah, I wouldn't trust Eric to measure anything. Anything? I couldn't measure anything? Oh, boy. You're way off.

You're off by like 10%. No, I'm right. We'll find out next office day. That's good. We need to wrap this episode up anyway. And then are we doing Andrew's back next time as well? I will have numbers next time we record, for sure. I may need to get a specialty measure tape.

Wow, I forgot the word. I was going to say measure. Does that seem dumb? It's going to be long. I'm going to outback all of you. And I'm not worried about it. same measure and does it seem dumb we're gonna need it's gonna be long i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna outback all of you and i'm not worried about it it's a definite gonna happen okay i can't wait to find out what a odd i did not expect we'd end up in a back off but i like it where did this start that why do we get to the back i don I don't know. You were asking me about

how many pancakes I need. Eating our back in pancakes. This is what happens when you've been in the lab. Things go this way. Lab is a very organized place. I'm going to take it on faith that Andrew probably does, in fact, have the longest back, but I'll be damned

if the longest back is Eric. There's no way. Oh, I don't think I have the longest back. I just... damned if the longest back is eric there's no way oh i don't think i have the longest back i just 25 easy you're an idiot ludicrous ludicrous absolutely ludicrous he's all back i'm gonna bet he never went and got a tape measure and he just googled average back length You think Eric doesn't have an average back length you think all right look in the mirror and eyeballed it you think I eyeballed it I don't think you you got four more inches than your back. I Don't think you're that bad at Oh Jackson the chat, okay? I don't think you're that bad at... Oh, hang on. Jack's in the chat.

Okay. Looks like the average is about 19.7. Wow, I'm way longer than the average. That's awesome. There's no way. It's in the chat already. Okay, those are the lines. I appreciate that.

That's a very clear... I almost feel like that's a little high on the lower. It seems like it could be a little high on the lower. And I probably would pick low. I probably would go a little lower. I'd go a little bit lower than that. Yeah. That's just what I found on the Internet for measuring your back.

That's fair. I just I don't. And maybe we got like a Lord of the Rings thing going on here. Like maybe maybe somebody is a little closer than the other. But you can't you look at that photo and you say that Eric has a larger back than Jeff. There's no way. What unit is your measurer, Eric?

Centimeters. 20? It's fucking inches. Of course it's inches. What kind of question is that? That broke Gavin once again. It wasn't even about a dick this time alright we need to wrap up is there anything we need to plug

or anything before we go come to RTX July 7th through 9th rtxaustin.com get your tickets and see the face museum oh hey speaking of which Andrew I know you don't want to send your icing down, but do you have any

half-made baskets or anything you could send our way for the museum? Not that I think would make it. I still have the basket, but it will not last. I don't think I could walk out the house with the basket. Do you still have the sushi container by any chance?

I do not. It didn't occur to me to save the sushi container. Do you have the candle? Do you have the fire extinguisher bag? 30 inch back from Jack apparently. You can't listen to Jack. Jack isn't involved in this. We just have to get through this. We have to end this thing. We can't involve Jack in this.

What kind of fucking world is he living in? Okay, Jeff, can you plug the socials and we can go? Hey, this is Jeff plugging the socials and then we can go. If you like F*** Face, check us out on social medias. We got them. We'll see you next time. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.

Nick got away with it. Old people look better now. Gavin has another life hack. Jeff heads to Savannah. Gavin gets a message. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.