F**kface - T-bone steak meat ham // Geoff’s back on the streets [161]

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Cartoon t-bones, Andrew’s life hack, Millie’s ability to break xbox headphones, Andrew's thumbsticks, Medieval Times, Crisps, Department stores as a kid, Gavin���s lost a step, Trying to set up a Fast X watch party, Geoff’s toilet paper holder life hack, and Jeeps in the morning. Sponsored by Honey http://joinhoney.com/face Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com and Babbel http://babbel.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Oh, let me give you a quick recap. Also, Gavin was here early. What are you talking about? You were here early this time. Oh, Nick. I love it. Did Eric tell you to keep up the bullshit? No, but this time I actually saw it flip from 59 to 3.

Does it infuriate you, Gavin, that everyone else's clock is wrong? You know how people say if you're wrong about something, and if you have an opinion and everyone else has the opposite, maybe you're wrong? How does it feel to be the reverse how do i have a gps satellite clock that's wrong i just don't how does that happen i mean i mean you might be right i might need to reevaluate the crystal of this clock i think we need to get a second gps satellite clock in the wild i think we need to get one all right i'm gonna build a second one and i'll put it straight directly How tough is it to build? Let's all build one.

I can build one. Do you have to solder anything? Yeah. I'm out. What, you have to solder? You have to solder. And if you're me, you have to de-solder as well. Can I just Amazon something that's already made?

Hey, Nick, do you want to do the intro thing? You're supposed to tell us what you thought about it. Oh, yeah. So last time we talked about OG names, hangman, new strategies, Zoltar changing a tire, TV changes, the National Anthem High School song,

sponsoring a high school, the school uniform store at the mall, buying a work shirt, fake work, a.k.a. forking, marathon hiding crisps, and recreating an old photo bunch of grown men just talking about new strategies and sponsoring high schools uh should we kick it off yes yeah all right that's my part i'll do that hello and welcome to another episode of the

face podcast my name is jeff ramsey folks around these parts call me T-Bone. You can too. And we've assembled a colorful cast of characters for you today. We've got this guy from England. They call him over there. They call him Whoop Scoop, I think. We've got a Canadian. God damn it. He goes by the name of Johnny Caviar.

Watch your wives and girlfriends around Johnny Caviar. That mustache is twisted. And we've got a bog standard regular guy. We just call him Nick. And usually there's this tiny little gooch of a man named Eric, but he wasn't here this week. So we're going, we're going a little, we're going gooshless for one episode,

unfortunately. And, and that's it. And now we are going to entertain you with our comedic musings. Go. What color is T-Bone? What does that mean? What color is T-Bone?

Well, Jeff said we have a cast of like a colorful cast of characters. Colorful characters? Red? Red? You think T-Bone's red? I was thinking. Yeah, like a cartoon T-Bone, right? They're fucking like Bugs Bunny T-Bone.

Yeah, like a Tom and Jerry. Like a Tom and Jerry. Is medium rare a color? Yeah. Okay. I've only heard it in a steak context. I've never seen anyone be like, ah, my walls are painted medium rare.

I mean, that might be a quirky paint can name. Because nothing's ever dark gray. It's always like cracked pepper or something yeah yeah winter storm pepper husky pepper i like husky pepper husky pepper i like a little husky pepper i want a little husky pepper on my salad for being honest that sounds delicious this is the cartoon representation of me. This is what T-Bone, this is what I think of when I think of T-Bone.

Oh, yeah. It's like a T-Bone steak with legs and it's jacked. He's got muscles. He's flexing his muscles, yeah. He's got that perfect V shape. That's the thumbnail, isn't it? That's great. That's a great thumbnail. I don't know what whoop scoop would look like. Oh my a great thumbnail. I don't know what whoop scoop would look like.

Oh my God, dude. I just saw another image. I searched for T-bone cartoon. I don't know why this one came up, but here was next to it. Maybe this is not our info. So we got the flexing T-bone, and what's the next?

Oh, that's just a man with no skin on his face. Oh, he's got bacon. That's Bryan Cranston. That's a Bryan. Okay, so imagine Bryan Cranston skin on this. Oh, he's got a Cranston. It's a Brian. Okay, so he's got no face. That's Cranston. Yeah. He's got bacon lips.

He's got eyes for eyes. Eyes for eyes. Eggs for eyes. Jesus Christ. Eyes for eyes. He's got those eyes. The name of this file is T-bone steak meat ham. So I guess the ham in that man is the meat in that man is ham. I think you should

show up at Halloween next year, Jeff, as the first one. I think that's enough that you could do. Just slip in like a mascot uniform. Oh, next put a picture of the whoop scoop. It's just a kitty litter scoop Gotta pick that up

I'm not a fan Kitty make a stinky I'll be whoop tone Is that Kitty make a stinky Is such a shitty catchphrase For whoop scoop Kitty make a stinky Ohop kitty make a stinky

oh your kitty make a stinky have no fear whoopscoop is here that's terrible man so many of my notes this week are about eric's bullshit so i think we'll save that for next time that's great you've got a lot of notes about eric's bullshit he's like

a couple of eric notes but yeah he needs to be around we got no eric this week i got a lot of notes about Eric's bullshit. Well, I got a couple of Eric notes. But yeah, he needs to be around. We got no Eric this week. I got a life hack. Oh. Let's hear it. I got an exciting life hack. Oh, I can't wait.

This is a continuation of a problem we had in the past, and I think I've really innovated here. We talked about before my great AirPod debacle. I found the AirPods in the egg. You were trying to charge them in an egg. Yeah. Well, I wasn't trying to charge them in the egg. I found them in an eggshell. Then I was looking for the charger, and I found the AirPods in the egg. You were trying to charge them in an egg. Yeah. Well, I wasn't trying to charge them in the egg. I found them in an eggshell.

Then I was looking for the charger, and I found the charger, but I don't know where the cable is. I don't have a cable to charge it. I actually have a question I didn't ask you last time. Yeah, go ahead. Did you only use them once? I think I used them for 10 days would be my guess. I got them as a Christmas gift from someone, used them for 10 days, and my guess i got them as a christmas gift from someone used them for 10 days and then just stopped using them i think they died and i just never charged them again i have a

thought i have a follow-up question to that but it'll come after you explain what you're explaining so i've been i haven't been able to find the cable. They've been dead next to my nightstand several days. I just have given up hope on them. But it was loud one evening. My partner was watching TikToks. I was trying to go to sleep. I didn't want to ruin their entertainment. So I thought, oh, it'd be so nice

if my fucking AirPods would work and I could listen to something. And I thought, well, wait a second. I don't need to listen. They're earplugs. So I've been using them as earplugs recently, and I've been having a great time. I lay down, pop them in my ears,

blocks out the sound. Kind of honestly, there's a little bit of a sound that comes with them in your ears that's calming, and I fall asleep every night with them in my ears right now. What do you mean that sound that comes from them in your ears? There's like a a it's like a He's like he's here in the ocean like when he puts his yeah Yeah, I shall at the beach. It's exactly what it is

It's like a very light oceany when you do the ear thing so you've got $200 earplugs Well, I didn't listen. I didn't spend the money in that way I'm just saying it's a life hack if you need to block out sound, but they're not charged, they still work as things you can put in your ears. Here's an even better life hack. Charge them and then use the noise canceling that works even better. Well, I'd love the cable.

I still need to find the cable. Maybe one day we'll get there. But if you don't have a cable, if you're in my scenario in which you just have dead AirPods, just use them as earplugs. Still great. Here's my question. And it ties directly to these air pods and gavin your your air pods as well i assume uh i had one of those

moments recently where i realized i think i've been doing something dumb for a really long time and maybe everybody else figured this out andrew's giving me hope that not everybody's figured this out but um i uh i love my daughter she's the best yeah uh but she's really really really bad on xbox headsets like she has this ability to break xbox headsets like nobody's business i've probably bought her or scavenged from work probably 25 over the course of the time that she's it's just brutal right it's become like a joke so i won't buy them for her anymore and what is it what eventually happens is hers will break and then she'll borrow mine and then i can't find mine anymore and then mine will break anyway so i'm at a point now where uh diablo 4 came out

if if you're not a gamer that's a popular video game and millie and i wanted to start playing diablo together uh over xbox live and i realized I didn't have my Xbox headset around and she was like just use your AirPods and the Xbox app and I went oh can we do that and I loaded up the Xbox app on my phone and I just plugged in my AirPods and now I've been using that for all of my party chat and I thought this is so fucking convenient it's either brilliant or something that everybody's been doing for about seven years and that I just clued into I don't think I think I've known about it but I've never done it yeah I think that's exactly so great why don't I do that I'm always I don't know it's brilliant dude well there's no cables you never you're not like like

getting excited and unplugging the thing and then trying to fucking plug it back in so you can finish the conversation you were having which i do at least 10 times a session like it's it's so fucking awesome and i just i don't know why it never crossed my mind that that was a feature that i could be taking advantage of and i feel just dumb that i haven't been doing it. Have you been playing Diablo? Yeah, we've been playing a little bit. I mean, about as much as we play. We'll play for like an hour at a time, maybe twice, three times a week. What do you think of it?

It's Diablo. I don't know. I mean, I like it. Am I not supposed to like it? Do you not like it? No, I have an issue with it, and I don't know if it's just I'm playing wrong. It takes me 30,000 button presses to kill any boss and my hands get really sore and i have a squishy character i just don't i don't understand i feel like i'm playing the game wrong because it's impossible i think for

most like i just don't get it i don't understand how people are having fun i definitely have to press a lot of buttons but i think it's because i'm doing stuff i'm doing something in a purposefully dumb way i'm leveling up my character where I only picked one attack. I only have one attack. And then every time I level, I just level up a passive ability. That's great.

So I'm just going to see how much, how far into the game I can get with the one X attack that I was initially given when I started the game. And then just everything else I level is passive. That's fantastic. Nick says, when do you get to use the long thumbsticks? I think it would help more in Diablo 4.

Hmm. I have an update. Oh. What's the update? Oh! Oh my god. It's gonna deliver on my birthday. On Jeff's birthday. Oh, that's awesome. I gotta keep my eyes open. Are you gonna be in?

What do you mean? Are you... Never mind. You're gonna be home to receive the package. Will I be? Why wouldn't I be? I think he just wants to... I don't know.

Why would I... You might have gone out. The whole day? On Jeff's birthday? No, I stay home for Jeff's birthday. I get myself a cake. I throw a little party. Shut up.

Every year. It's my yearly party. Shut up. Every year. It's my yearly tradition. What are you doing for Jess's birthday, Gavin? Hanging out. Hanging out? Yeah. Your place? Where are you going?

Your Jess place? We're going somewhere. Oh. We're taking a little trip. You guys are doing something. You're doing? Oh, you're going. Okay.

We're leaving tomorrow morning. I mean, I don't know what Gavin's travel schedule is, but we're gonna go up to dallas for the weekend and we're gonna go to medieval times you're going to me i will say it's a way less convenient birthday than mine was but i'll be there yeah it's incredibly and by the way it wasn't i didn't pick it emily was like you want to go to town for your birthday and i was like yeah she was like let's just do she wanted to go to vegas and i was like trying to save money for the wedding and stuff. And so she was like, why don't we just drive up to Dallas for the weekend

and do Dallas shit? And I was like, yeah, okay. And then she's like, do you want your friends to come? And I thought, no, it would be inconvenient for them to come out of town. And she goes, they'll be happy to do it. And I thought, okay, we'll try it out. It's both.

I'm happy to do it. It's inconvenient. I'll be there. We're going to go horse. We're going to go to the horse races, too. I'll be there. We're going to go horse. We're going to go to the horse races, too. I'm excited. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah.

Like, is it staged horse racing for medieval times? Like what type of horse racing? No, there's separate events. OK. There's a horse track and a medieval times. Those are just the two things we're doing. We ask if it's staged. Oh, I see.

I thought medieval times was doing horse racing. Like it's wrestling? Like they tell which horse to do what well yeah i feel like the only time i've seen medieval times is in movies where they do like the fake fights with the like the harlem globetrotters of night fights type thing yeah it's like this guy in the back tell the pergeron to take a dive in the third leg yeah it is difficult with horses, I don't know how that'd work. Suddenly the Bruce Willis of horses is jumping out of a window. Yeah. Tell Rainbow Connection he needs to slow down in the third act. Okay, the third turn.

He cannot win. That's fun. That's great. I need to adjust some of my stuff then. They're going to be in Dallas. Yeah, just tomorrow and Saturday. I think I'll some of my stuff then in Dallas. Yeah, you're gonna just tomorrow and Saturday I think I'll be home Saturday or Sunday Okay

When is your birthday? It's Monday. It's not till next Monday today. It's not the day You're getting your big controller sticks, buddy. Ah shit. I'm gonna be out that day No, that's the day you stay home and bake a cake and celebrate your birthday. No, I'm going to have to chase down the fucking chip order. We're getting chips. Eric hasn't sent me the forward email, but we're getting sent those. I'm concerned about some of you guys' chip choices and the fact that he had to order like 40 bag bundles for me.

So I'm just going to have so many potentially terrible chips. I mean, if they're from my list, you're in for a treat. Same. We're picking the best of the best. Yeah, these are the top. And I talked about this last time. I really struggled. So many are good.

Same, same. I can't believe you didn't put Build-A-Snack on your list. I was very disappointed. Yeah, the old Transformer snack. It's just not top tier. It's probably B tier if I was doing this.

And I've just gone for A. It is a gimmicky snack unfortunately for gavin all my chips are s tier all right there's s above a oh shit that's a good point i i feel like we're trying to speed run resident evil 7 i feel like we've we've been at it recently in terms of logistics like we've got we've got chips moving across the like we've been at it recently in terms of logistics. We've got chips moving across the world. We've got thumbsticks. Stuff's getting ordered.

Stuff's getting delivered. A bunch of stuff. We did the port-a-potty thing yesterday. Dude, we filmed three pieces of supplemental content yesterday. And I'm really excited about it, too, because we had that run where we were releasing supplemental content. I think we did five five weeks in a row yeah and then we kind of ran through it all although i just realized we're releasing uh the blind side have you have you guys been looking at your work calendar and laughing like every time you come across it because it has killed me several times. I watched it today.

Oh, man. Oh, that's great. I might do that. Just in my calendar, blindside AIDS first, 7 to 8 a.m. Blindside AIDS public the next day, 7 to 8 a.m.

It's not a fun blindside. We're not calling it blindside AIDS, are we that i don't know what we're calling that's probably internal oh okay i mean it definitely helped but we definitely know what that is i think that and i meant to run this by you guys i think it would be fun if whoever conducted the blind side gets to name whatever it's called oh yeah oh yeah i think that's the like because we're trying to find a very special blind side a very special blind side because i like the idea of like us releasing so we were talking about like what and not to spoil a sausage talk but we had kind of a conversation about

what is and isn't in the face umbrella as far as shows go and i've been thinking about that quite a bit since we had that talk i like the idea of us releasing like a a 20 minute thing only about lenses like camera like specifically about lenses and anyone who saw on the schedule would be like that's the blind side they're definitely like we could blindside the audience by just making content that they would not necessarily anticipate as our content um i think there's avenues to explore in that way what what if we all are tasked with a 10 minute solo podcast about lenses i that's just great i'll gladly do two or ten you've also inadvertently

just given me an idea for a whole different blind side direction oh shit, shit. Maybe next time. I have number two in the can, my number two in the can, but you just gave me number three. Oh, God. Yeah. Can you imagine how annoyed Eric would be if we told him that this was a blindside recording? We didn't do an episode. We didn't make one, we just did a blindside. We didn't make one, we just did a blindside.

Oh, shit. Is this episode 161? I didn't even say it. Oh, yeah. Is that right, Nick? That's right. Okay, 160. Are you in the mask? No, I'm not in the mask. God damn it.

Did I just blow my ass? No, no, no. You can't start until 2024. It's already won. You might have been practicing. I have a theory. Okay. And because of that, I have a clip. Okay. And because of that, I have a clip.

Ooh! Okay. These have typically been against me, but recently not. So I'm excited about this clip. Gavin clips are always entertaining. My theory is this. Whoever edits is reusing projects. And you may have noticed that in a previous episode,

Andrew hit us with Johnny Caviar about 44 minutes into an episode. Check this out. Bird chirp. Oh. You listen to it. I'm playing it. You. We all remember that.

Yeah, you got Caviar. That was great. Now, interestingly, when I was proofing the next episode, exactly 44 minutes. But what I did find, which isn't exactly a movie prop, but it's Connery related, is I found on eBay... Now I think we have some bleed over. think someone so somebody deleted the track but left

either nick or kelly has just plopped the next episode into a track but all the additional farts are still on there i mean obviously that's why we proof isn't it that's what we look out for but I'll be honest when I was when I was proofing that earlier today and I was emptying the dishwasher it scared the shit out of me I didn't know what was happening I almost want to leave. Did you think it was a ghost fart? I was like, what's happened?

Does my have my AirPods paired to something else? How long did it take you to realize it was the previous fart? Well, I just rewound it and it happened again. So I was like, oh, it's baked in. But I was very shocked and very confused. Do you think that fart should just be at 44 minutes for every episode from here on out? No, it shouldn't. I love the fact that it just infected future episodes.

It just blasted through time into the next episode. How about this? He farted on two episodes. It was such a stealth fart. It made it to the next one. You farted your way into every recording going forward. Johnny Caviar has much greater reach than I thought. Oh, staying power clearly with Johnny Caviar.

I mean, I don't think we should. I think we should cut it. But it will live on. It will live on in this episode as that clip. What if once a year Nick gets to try to... I love these once a year things. What if once a year Nick gets to try to slip it past us at 44 minutes? And if he does, the first person who lets us know wins like a free t-shirt or something.

Oh, it's just like testing whether we're proofing or not? Yeah. I think that's great. Every once in a while, Nick will try to slip that fart in. If you want, I can give you more material. Whatever you need, just let me know. I can give you a new one. We're not restricted.

I love Johnny Caviar's voice. It's slightly different. It's a little more aggressive. It's a little bit more aggressive. It's confident. Yeah, it's a little east, a little yeah i i was wondering i because immediately you start like within a span of like three seconds i'm thinking like oh did my airpods go to my ipad or something or like did did andrew actually fart into the mic again and we just didn't notice you're just

immediately thinking of all this stuff but it was uh yeah it was just the same exact fart you know what would have solved that problem your airpods if they were dead you're using them as earplugs it would have been an issue problem solved way better solution so uh Nick or Kelly that would be

Kelly I assume she uh oh Nick throwing Kelly under the bus well you know what he did it as in a good way though he said I assume Oh, Nick throwing Kelly under the bus. Right under the bus. Jeez. Well, you know what? He did it in a good way, though. He said, I assume. He gave some wiggle room. Nick just threw Kelly under the bus like he threw that dragon fruit yesterday.

Oh, did the dragon fruit. Was it a good one? How did the dragon fruit? So you guys filmed. We should just loop back on this. I sadly missed this. It's a weird thing where it's like, oh, I wish I could be there, but it also makes me so happy

knowing these things are happening. You guys were testing the most throwable fruit. Yeah, we did. We filmed three supplemental pieces yesterday. We filmed Sausage Talk, episode three, which includes a lot of literal talk about sausage at the beginning until Eric shut us up, which I was bummed out

because I thought we were really cranking on a direction there. I want to get back to that someday. It's also a very dry talk about merch and how shows get made and pitched. Then we picked, went to the grocery store together, which I'm, by the way, this is now the third time I've gone to the grocery store with F*** Facers for F*** Face.

And I got to say, F*** Face field trips to the grocery store are just a lot of fun. Any excuse we have to shop together. Anyway, so we picked out our fruit and then we had our fruit throw-in contest. And then after that, we attempted to do the thing that Eric definitely did not want to do.

And I got to be honest with you, I understand why now. We opened up the surstromming in the porta potty and tested my nose flaps. So we won't talk about the results because I want to edit those videos and then Andrew's going to react, right? Is that the plan?

Yeah, Andrew needs to see... I figured it would be like the beanhole thing where you showed me like a clip on the show and as like a tease for the video's coming. Maybe I'll do that next time Eric's back. Sounds great. It was a great, very sweaty day. I actually whipped out Stuart for maybe 35 seconds at HEB.

I met Stuart. Eric was extremely unhappy. Yeah, that checks. Eric immediately was like, get away from me. I got like get away from me i gotta get away from this guy he like he did not like stewart and stewart clearly liked him all i did was just sort of like knock into some hanging avocado bags and then instead of pulling one uh bag to like weigh loose veg i pulled like two or three and eric just like, this sucks. And he just tried to get away from me. I didn't do anything else.

I just started like standing next to him and like lifting up my hands and looking at stuff. And he was like, Oh, I didn't even have to do anything. I was just getting too excited. And I ended up like not even picking anything else up. It was just,

his reaction was what made it. Stuart is clearly his nails on a chalkboard. It was great to watch. Yeah, we should try. We didn't film in that just because it's like, yeah, in public.

Well, I tried to film. Oh, you did. Did you get any? No, remember I didn't hit the button. I thought I felt like the first three minutes.

I didn't. Jeff, Jeff, that he did like this nice intro. He was panning across us. He was asking us questions. And about a minute into that, he's like, oh, I wasn't recording. Oh, no.

I wish it would have been like the reverse Bronson, like the action Bronson scenario again, where all you have is footage of you guys walking out of the store. That would be nice. It'd be nice to have any footage. I handed off my phone to help us film the throwing. I handed be nice to have any footage. I handed off my phone to help us film the throwing. I handed it off to Jack and then I handed it off to Eric

at one point during the sastrumming. And I don't know who's responsible, but I have like 22 second clips of just pink and purple. That's got to be Jack, right? That's like a Jack thing.

Yeah, I'll put that in just for the audience so they can see in the video version. But yeah, it's like a Jack thing. Yeah, I'll put that in just for the audience so they can see in the video version. But yeah, it's just a complete... The mess. Weird mess. Have you looked at the clips? Let me look at one.

We haven't looked at them? You just have been like... This one's 12 seconds. I bet it's just 12 seconds of Jack's dick. Jesus Christ. Do you have sound? Imagine if it's my 44 second fart. That'd be amazing if we could get that on his phone

I think it's Jack's pocket I told you it was his dick I was right is this hitting me stop and start randomly in his pocket yeah he must have yeah it's great. He was probably getting and losing an erection over and over again.

Was he wearing pink or purple shorts? He was... I have to look at... There has to be a photo or video. What was he wearing? He was wearing shorts. We can figure this out. He had a t-shirt on.

This is a case that can be solved solved probably blue or green or brown or yeah so anyway that's my camera roll that's yeah that's a lot of pocket it appears um no spoilers i was asked to pick a fruit i said dragon fruit uh maybe just like could you give me a noise and how it went should i be happy about it should i should what did it go well no dude we're not going to give you any kind of information because it'll i don't want to i don't Could you give me a noise and how it went? Should I be happy about it? Should I should? Did it go well? No, dude, we're not going to give you any kind of information because it'll I don't want to I don't want to color your opinion of the video. We want you to see it for the first time. Listen, I'm already a colorful character.

I could I could use some more color. It's not going to hurt. I mean. How do you think a dragon fruit went? Well, I picked it, so I So I thought it would go pretty well. And then I looked at photos later and I thought, that feels like it could really go. It might be too heavy.

That's the concern in my head. What I will say is I've never in a single day eaten so much off the floor. Yeah. Yeah. We made every effort to save as much. We don't want to spoil food. I didn't have lunch. Nick and I decided we were going to eat all the fruit.

And we did our damnedest. Some fruit explodes faster than other fruit. I will say that. Now, I need to, in the context of eating, there was a discussion about Nick possibly eating some of the fish stuff. The surstromming? The surstromming, yeah. Did that Strom? The Sir Strom, yeah.

Did that occur? Do you want to know if it occurred? Well, I... Hmm. I don't... Hmm. I don't know if that's... Yeah, I do.

I'd say it's down to Nick. There was an attempt. Okay. That's good. That's all I need to know. I just need to know if it's there. I don't need to... In my head,

he took a bite of it and said, it's better than cucumber, and then just continued to munch away like at least it's not that so I'm glad I'm excited to see this is gonna be great video content I will say uh in the moment I think Nick uh in the

moment of truth I think Nick questioned a lot of Nick's life choices leading up to that point without giving any spoilers I saw a lot flash across his face I uh I was corrected by someone in the comment lever who said

icing on the cake and the cherry on top aren't about cakes only icing on the cake is about a cake cherry on top is about ice cream yeah like ice cream sundae probably yeah and i i think that makes sense because i don't think i've ever seen just a single cherry on the top of a cake no so that's uh so they're like just two separate there's definitely singular cherry zones though like i'm thinking like a deep for or deep forest jesus

christ i'm sorry i'm still sick Forest Cake. I feel like there's, you get whipped cream right on top and there's little individual cherries and different clusters of it. Okay. So multiple cherries on top, but you got cherry zones. You got singular cherry zones.

Are you a cherry guy? I can be. I don't think I'm going for cherries all that often, but if there's a bowl, I'll indulge. Wasn't the cake in Portal a cherry cake? I think it was.

I think you're right. Yeah. And also, like, I guess it depends. The cherry on top could be the last cherry. If you're putting it on top, I think it could be cake. I think it could be Black Forest cake. Are those cherries? Yeah, they are.

Yeah. They're cherries. Are they? Yeah, I'm looking all over the internet okay well yeah that's clear cherry zones on top of the portal cake singular cherry zones as we know in my blankets i'm a big zone guy i've gone into zone zone coverage are you still doing zones applied to my i'm still doing zones yeah i had a moment the other day where I did laundry and I forgot to put one of the towels away

and I stretched my foot out and I felt a little towel and I was like, ooh, that was unexpected. That was nice. Wait, wait, so there's just a towel hidden in the bed? It was at the foot of the bed. Yeah, it was like laid out on the bottom of the bed and I didn't know it was there. I stretched out and I felt that my toe hit it. I was like, what's that? Oh, okay. Do you put towels on the bed of the bed and i didn't know it was there i stretched out and i felt that my toe hit it i was like what's that oh okay do you put towels on the bed i felt like just well

i brought in all of i brought in all of the stuff that i cleaned it was like clothes and towels and all that stuff and i put on the bed and i folded it all on the bed and then i moved them to different areas and i just missed one of the towels you do a lot in the bedroom you get a lot done well i just transfer i was transferring stuff i don't know what that means what do you mean when you're in the lab is that in the bedroom or the kitchen well it depends on what the project is okay so you have multiple labs yeah the lab is wherever you're putting the work in interesting where would you say you put the most work in uh where do i put the most work probably oh my office is also like in my bedroom it's probably my bedroom i'd say the lab is is the bed bedroom when you go

to your office even though it's in your bedroom are you mentally leaving your bedroom and like clocking in in a different like in a different space even though it's physically situated in the room yeah you're like you like, don't talk to me. I'm in my office now. This is office time. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I can't sleep.

Sometimes I might want to relax and sit at my desk chair and my feet can reach the bed. I can't sleep like that, though. I get comfortable like that, but it just feels weird having my feet in my comfort zone, my upper half, and my work zone. Yeah, in the business zone. Exactly. Yeah, and you got to be respectful to your business space too.

You don't want to be napping and lounging around there. And we're talking, we're doing blindside aids over here, okay? This is serious business. We're not joking around this business. Have you ever been absolutely bollocked by someone,

but you didn't really know why they were angry i don't know first of all you need to explain the first part yeah oh like told off given a real bloody oh yeah every day in the army oh yeah that's i would just get yelled at by strangers that were higher rank than me for like no reason just like if somebody saw like the way the army works if somebody is having a bad day and they see you and you're a lesser rank than them then they have every right and inclination to just destroy you to make themselves feel better for no reason did pretty much everyone do that yeah or there's some people who are nice that no i mean there's exceptions to

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This is where I was probably maybe 5 or 6. And I was shopping with my mum in Tame where I grew up. There's this like little home furniture shop called Cargo and a very boring shop for a six-year-old and I was in there and I realized that there was this thing by the door and uh every time someone walked in there was a tiny little like seven segment display number written on it or display so it was like every time someone like crossed the beam the number went up one and i assume they were just like counting people coming in and out every day but i just noticed it because i was just staring at the wall and like just waiting to leave

and i noticed that the little tiny little number on the by the ground was just going up every time someone walked in so i was like oh how does that work and i just put my hand over it and it went up and i just kept waving my hand in front of it to the point where i probably made the number go up by like a hundred times and then the guy who owned all that worked in there walked up to me and he just goes oh you little shit and i think i i think i cried And I think I I think I cried Cause I didn't know what I was doing was wrong

But I was messing up his numbers How old were you? I was probably six And you cried in front of him? Yeah he just made me cry Did he apologize? He yelled in my face No he didn't.

I think I ran off. I went and found my mum and just sort of stood by her quietly until we left. Oh, no. But I think that was like the first time I remember being like really upset by someone, but having absolutely no idea that what I was doing was wrong. Because, you know, as a kid, like when you was doing was wrong because you know you know as a kid like when you're dicking around you know you sometimes deserve a good a good bollocking but that that was the first one i was like oh what do i do wasn't there wasn't wasn't that that was such

a great age to be like when your mom would take you to it i only talked about we touched on this a little bit maybe in the mall draft or talking about malls in general but like your mom would take you to a department store like sears or jc pennies and you she did she wanted you out of her face because you were annoying and you didn't want to be there yeah and so you knew you had like i have 20 minutes where i can entertain myself and my mom doesn't want me anywhere near her and so this place just became a magical playground for me to explore and you're like crawling under the dresses and trying to hide and like trying to hide in between the clothes to scare people when they come by and just like i always remember there was like it was fun for about 15 or 20 minutes and

then you go through all the fun and then you're bored to tears again and you want you go like beg your mom to leave but there's just like a little window where a department store to a six-year-old is like shangri-la yeah i remember there was one store that I actually got excited about going to, and it was just a normal clothes shop, but it had just such great hiding spots, like under all the trousers and coats and stuff. I loved any store that had beds, and you could see how long you could get away with jumping on beds before somebody would yell at you, or if you could jump like if you were lucky you could try to jump from bed to bed and you know

see if you could get like three beds jumped before somebody comes and screams at you how many beds do you think you could jump now before somebody would come and scream at you do you think you could break the record to three I think that would be a great challenge for us in that mall show

Andrew's Angels or whatever it becomes funnier the older you get the whole jumping on bed gang in the store I mean there's problems at the moment in some places where just like 20 youths will just come in and pillage a place I just like the idea of just the three of us running in.

We don't want to break anything. We just want to jump on their beds and hide behind the clothes. I just want to see. Yeah, I don't. At what age does that become a problem? You can't, like, you now cannot hide in the clothes section and pop out at people. That's a real problem.

It's like at one point you're just a kid and then there's a threshold where you become a pervert. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, the child at heart defense is really difficult to sell. It's a tough one. Yeah, the way a police officer talks to you changes almost overnight. I think you need to get caught bed hopping first

and that establishes your defensive child at heart. And then when they're like, oh, it's the bed guy. No, yeah, it's fine. I feel like, sir, what are you doing? Sir, I'm clearly going through something here. I love the idea of getting trespassed from undismantled dresses.

Nick said, let me have this moment. Please, kick me out in 30 seconds. Go for the record. You don't understand. You don't understand. My friend on the internet said I have to jump four beds. And why is it that that is unacceptable? Is it that you're damaging the bed? Like if your shoes are off, you're not like messing it up.

Yeah, you're just damaging the bed. When does the threshold from testing to damaging flip? Yeah, because you're allowed to like flump onto a bed, just like flop back onto it. Yeah. What test? That's not what they're used for. Like buying a mattress.

Yeah, you go test a mattress out. Yeah, but you don't... I don't, like, jump... There's an extreme in jumping on a bed to, like, any other use for that bed. I want to test two things when I'm buying a mattress. I want to test its liability and its flumpability.

Like, I want to flop down onto it. If I... Let's say I buy, like, a controller, I'm not going to drop it to the floor to test it. Like, I don't need to... Well, I'm not throwing the bed out a window. I'm just... No, but the floor to test it like I don't need to well I'm not throwing the bed out a window I'm just no but you're jumping on it you're putting a lot of force into that bed that's the kind of force I'm gonna be using it

with you use that type of force in the bed first of all you're a tucking guy you're a tuck you're a tucking guy you're telling me you use a lot of force there's something delicate about a tuck I don't tuck myself in whoa what I just want to tuck youing i don't tuck myself in whoa what i just want to tuck you in how do you tuck yourself in that's difficult that's a tall task

no i think i think you have to have a ritual though if you're going around tucking people in you better be tucking at home i probably dive onto the bed to get into bed maybe one in three times oh it used to be the only way to go into bed you don't want monsters to grab your feet when you're trying to get to the bed. You got to do the run and start. Jump in. Excellent point. And that's what we would tell the security guard.

In my current setup, I can actually jump from the bathroom into the bed without touching the bedroom floor. That's probably smart because there's glass from that Apple controller. It's very true imagine if that's how it worked you're like oh i i dropped a glass in my bedroom and there's glass all over the floor now i just have to avoid that part like if there was no cleanup you're just like i just have to walk differently now yeah i could also dive from like the threshold of the door like outside the bedroom into the bed as well i have a very small bedroom yeah i couldn't tell if you're telling us that you had a small bedroom or you're flexing about

how far you could jump it was one of the two it's just a practically small bedroom do you think you're jumping onto a bed ability is declining i was watching you yesterday when we were running around and doing stuff. I think I'm starting to see the first signs of age in you. Really? Yeah, for sure. He's lost a step. But can you tell when you jump on the bed and stuff? Do you feel it?

No. What do you mean? Like I was moving old? Yeah, you're looking a little old. You're not, yeah. You're a little shufflier than you were. You're a little shufflier. I'll be honest, you're not throwing shit as far as you're a little shuffling around than you were you're a little shuffler shufflier you're not i'll be honest you're not throwing shit as far as you used to you just i can tell you're hitting that second i had the second say yeah you just fucking you're not supposed to talk about anything first off you've clearly lost a step mentally you can't keep your shit straight well i was getting insulted i have to be defensive no it's not

an insult at all i just wanted view you can tell because others can. Let me be honest with you. I've been doing some exercise, and I had an incredibly sore lap yesterday. Oh. You had a sore lap? Yeah, whatever that is. The quads.

My lap was used. You think this is where he tells us that he's been bed hopping for years, Jeff? This is like his form of fitness? That's how he stays so bouncy. Did you hop a little too hard the day before or something? Yeah, yeah, very sore lap to the point where like climbing stairs is miserable

and chasing after fruit was also a little bit painful so i was shuffling around i'm right there with you man i've been you know just trying to get a little trim and in shape for the wedding you know and so i've been riding my bike every day because as eric pointed out i i'm not capable of any other kind of exercise he's right so i've been riding my bike every morning at like 6 or 7 a.m. at 30, 20, somewhere between 22 and 30 miles, depending on the day, without taking breaks. And I am exhausted and sore 24 hours a day right now.

It's like a good sore, but God damn. We were walking to HEB yesterday. I had already had a 30 mile bike ride and we got to the bridge and I was feeling it. And I was like, we're not halfway to HEB yet. I'm going to tap out before we get to the bridge and I was feeling it and I was like we're not even halfway to HEB yet I'm gonna tap out before we get to the fruit you're just gonna hold the bridge down you guys keep going I'm gonna protect this make sure no trolls show up

alright well next time I'll see if I look as old cause maybe I wouldn't have just done a bunch of activity now I'm self conscious yeah I'll see if I look as old, because maybe I wouldn't have just done a bunch of activity. Now I'm self-conscious. Yeah. Maybe you'll stretch next time. Maybe you'll really get into the zone.

You didn't realize you were being evaluated last time. Yeah, I think that's my problem. I don't do enough stretching afterwards. You gotta stretch. You have to stretch. Gotta stretch. You seem very rubbery. You seem like you'd be good at stretching.

I feel like you're a very rubbery guy. Yeah, there's some flexibility there. Yeah, for sure. That's a good point. You're rubbery in like a Jim Carrey way a little bit. Not like with the faces and stuff, but just like body in general. Yeah. I'll take that. That's a compliment.

It's meant as a compliment, and I guess that's why I noticed you losing a step. Because, you know, I paid so much attention to you and your Jim Carrey-ness over the years. There's a whippiness in his limbs, I'd say, when doing a physical act. Have you been analyzing my limbs, Andrew? No, it's just I've seen you throw something, and it was something I remembered. What'd I throw? You were throwing balls at the arcade.

That time we went at the arcade. That time we went to the arcade, that didn't happen. My favorite Gavin is, you can tell when he's, my favorite physical Gavin, is you can tell when he's about to try to tackle you, he gets this little, like, grin on his face, and then he stoops over a bit and gets a little hunchy, and he starts to lean into you a little bit to, like, push on you.

I start using, like, the top of my eye sockets. Yeah, that's what I know. He's about to bounce off of me and then roll around on the ground for a second. I love that, Gavin. I've never been able to take you by surprise. Even if I completely hit you in the back, you don't go down and I bounce off.

Yeah, I'm Gavin proof. Do we put out all the videos where I would just mess with you while we were at work in the Congress office? I don't know. I don't know. There's one where I tried to like

jizz on you with hand sanitizer every day. There's one where I just spent all day trying to smash a cupcake into your mouth. And you used to just run and try to tackle me in the chair all the time.

Yeah. Shall I make a little compilation of all those yeah why not and these are like yeah this is all a game where it's like we we had that game where we whoever was falling asleep first got slapped yeah and then uh i feel like all of our messing with each other it was like pre-stated that it was okay yeah no we it was like agreed upon ahead of time yeah which is why a lot of the time when i'm diving onto the top of your head while you're trying to do work in your chair i don't know why you look so annoyed because you're trying to compress my spine while i'm working i always i handle it though there was one where i jumped like, over your shoulder while you're at your desk, and I sort of slipped over into your lap,

and you just used your knee to kick my head into the underneath of your desk. That's how it always went for me. I always started it, and I always hit my head nine times on the underneath of a desk. That's when we were young. That was before we lost the step. Yeah, yeah. I was probably 21. I was probably 22,

23. What was the last time you'd say you tried to jizz on Jeff Gavin using your vernacular? Yeah, maybe a decade and a half. It's been a while. It's been a while. Wow. Sounds like you're due for a jizzing. That's what I'm hearing.

He's all backed up. Oh, man. Can I do it to you as well, Andrew? Can I attack you? Yeah, of course. Of course. I'd love it. How do you think that would go for me?

I don't think well for either of us. I envision you just catching me with one hand somehow by the neck. Oh, that's aggressive. I don't think it would. I don't think that would. Maybe I'd grab you and then we'd both go down together. The ankle would fall. I was about to say, I think no matter what happens, if Gavin tackles Andrew, only three ankles are getting up.

Oh, yeah, for sure. It would be we would look like I don't know my head. You tackling me. And it results in like the cheese lady falling down the hill is the type of impact. I'm just imagining me tackling you. And then it's just your feet and shoes remain. And just like somehow it's just your feet and shoes remain and just like somehow It's like the license plate and back to the future

Did you see Did you see fast X cabin with 40 X I haven't yet. I tried to arrange a little face screening, but everyone was busy. Yeah, one day, and then you never tried again. I mean, trying once, that's a lot for me. And it wasn't even that no one was available, it was that there weren't tickets available on that day. And then I haven't heard anything else since that moment.

Well, I was trying to make Eric do it, firstly, and also I think Nick couldn't because of something. I blame Nick. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, potty training. Oh, that's right. You were potty training. Is that an all-day thing?

That's an all-weekend thing, and it didn't go very well at all. He decided once the diaper was off, he'd rather just hold it until it hurt than to go. So we're back to diapers. We're having fun. So what you're saying is if you had gone, nothing would have changed. Ah, shit. It's probably way too late in the game to attempt something like this, Nick.

But when I was going through potty training, I did do this. Apparently, if you potty train in cloth diapers, which is annoying because you got to deal with cloth diapers, but they will potty train a lot faster because it's a little less comfortable. And it encourages them to learn faster. I used to have a service, like a service where i would like he had like a little trash can that was sealed and you would drop the dirty diapers in the the cloth ones and then put it on the front porch and then they would pick it up and drop off new diapers and yeah it was like god that's amazing fancy it's a whole thing i didn't know that existed yeah that's how

millie that's how millie was potty trained is it expensive like per ship? Yeah, it's about the same as buying diapers, which are crazy expensive, but you don't fill a landfill with your kids' piss and shit. If that doesn't work, another tip you could try. I've heard. I don't know if this works for everyone, but just maybe book a flight with a potty and make sure there's a famous film director on the flight

they will use that potty no problem they'll fill it up what i hear so you get a few things you can do you get a few approaches hopefully at least one of them works something helps nick and you might if you show up early you can defer your flight you could actually make money doing this this could be a business venture for you. Yeah, you could piss on a different director. You could try to see how many directors your kid could piss on off the cost of one

ticket. Like to point out, there's still absolutely no evidence that Edgar Wright had any urine on his head. There's no evidence that he didn't either is there that's true yeah schrodinger's piss or whatever um i oh i'd be so happy i'm waiting for him to promote like a movie or something and i bought a late night show and tell the story because it feels like a late night story it does why do you want that to have happened to him because it well i it it had happened to him it's not what i want or didn't want to happen this is an act that happened to him so i'm just hoping to hear yeah but i'm sat here hoping to god that it didn't

happen well it definitely did you're just in denial. That's the difference. Absolutely. The best thing you can hope for, Gavin, is that he has a sense of humor about it, and he turns it into a humorous anecdote to James Corden or somebody. Yeah. Gavin, that whole flight was in the splash zone. You can deny it, but it's true. Piss splash. Edgar Wright's taking a bath in Gavin's

nephew's piss Jesus let me ask you guys a question I just looked at the I just looked at the time and how long we've been going for

what did we talk about for the last hour I couldn't tell you I'm still waiting for the podcast to start this one was just a nice chat yeah i didn't even look at my notes uh i do well i brought my clip that was the only note i used i think i had my life hack oh you want to talk about jeeps jeff you're gonna talk about jeeps

last episode oh you know that's interesting i have a life hack uh now that you mention it and i have that jeep thing uh neither as. Let me start with my lifehack. So if you have a... Here's a lifehack for you. If you have a toilet roll holder that's screwed into your wall, right? Anchored into your wall. And over time, it starts to loosen up a little bit. And no amount of tightening, it tightens it.

And then you realize at some point the anchors are going to give and it's going to come out of the wall. The best thing you can do is just to leave it for three or four months because it will frustrate your fiance and make her annoyed that anytime she touches the toilet roll holder it falls further out of the wall. Then the toilet roll

will fall on the ground and then roll away from you and then you have to comedically try to you're sitting on the toilet dump and you have to comedically try to like recover all the toilet paper happens lots uh if eventually if eventually you are faced with the reality of having to fix that problem you might be tempted to take it out of the wall and then spackle the holes and then sand and then maybe spackle a little bit more than sand and then paint and then find a different spot with a little more integrity to stick to stick the uh the toilet roll holder back on the wall what i would recommend you do uh is just look at the size of those holes that you just

made when you pulled it out of the wall and go let me just find an anchor that fits those holes and do that and it takes two seconds and you save yourself all kinds of work. Because that's what I just did. I just secured the toilet roll holder to my wall with the biggest anchors you've ever seen. You couldn't pull... You could pull a safe out of a bank

easily and you could pull this toilet roll off of this wall now. And it was so much easier than going through all those other steps so that's my life i've never thought to do that that's great i was i was just looking at him and i was like making the list to go to lowe's to buy all the shit i was going to need because i couldn't find any of it even though i've bought it 50 times before and i was just looking and i was like you know those holes around they're like they're just like they're just like holes and then i thought

they're just like something it wasn't I thought, I could just put something It wasn't like it ripped part of the wall out or anything, you know? It's like they're clean holes. They're just huge. Isn't a hole by default typically round? Is a hole round by default? I wouldn't know because dead people go in and not a round hole. Yeah.

Dead people go in six foot holes by like two foot holes. Yeah. Probably three feet feet but yeah okay i don't think every hole is round i don't think a hole has to be round no anyway if they wouldn't have been round it wouldn't have worked but because they were round holes and i was like it just struck me all at once i just put something bigger in the hole and it's fucking so there you go there's your life hack put something bigger in the hole maybe every time you buy those little rule plugs that they should ship a spare set

of bigger sizes for when you mess up the first time. They really should. That's great. I have such a bad track record with those things. Okay, the Jeep thing I was going to say. This is real brief too, but I've been riding my bike every morning somewhere between like six to eight, about two hours, so six to eight or seven to nine, depending on the day.

And I'm seeing a different Austin. I'm seeing an Austin that wakes up. Not that I'm'm not i don't get up early anyway because when school's in session i have to take me to school in the morning and stuff so i'm are i'm up but i'm not out in the world at like six or seven usually and i discovered that the this is an interesting factoid that i've learned the only people who are out and about in austin at 7 a.m who are out and about in Austin at 7 a.m. who are parking their cars in a parking lot at a park or near the lake or by a hike and bike trail or whatever, they exclusively drive Toyota 4Runners and Jeeps.

Those are the only cars you will see in a parking lot at 7 a.m. in Austin near nature is a Toyota 4Runner or a Jeep. I didn't realize how many Toyota 4Runners there were in the world until I started riding my bike at 7am. It is insane. The only people that hang out at 7am drive one of those two vehicles, guaranteed. It would be interesting to do a survey of what time... It's like when we play GTA 3 or something, there was only enough memory for when you see one car,

then you just start seeing a ton of that car. Exactly. At some point, there's a changeover. Because I ride my bike in the afternoon. I ride my bike at 2 in the afternoon. It's not 4Runners and Jeeps. The 4Runners and the Jeeps, they leave. They're morning people.

So I wonder at what time it's like 10 o'clock is the shift change, and then the Subaru Outbacks or whatever start coming. It's like the Hyundai Sonatas and the Ionix all show up. But like, it's just so fucking weird that it's only those cars in the morning. And then at some point they all fuck off. And I think you should get out there one day, a little clipboard on the handlebars and you survey it at about 7 a.m. And then you go out again at 7 p.m. and see the difference. That's a great idea. Maybe I'll do that.

Maybe I will 100% do that. I'll pick one parking lot and they'll be my survey parking lot. And I'll do that. And all the people in Jeeps every morning are like, there's always this prick on a bike. He just keeps writing down my license plate. Every park I go to,

there's one weird guy taking a survey with a bike. It's so strange. Stay away from the survey guy. He's out weird guy taking a survey with a bike. It's a strange. Stay away from the survey guy. He's out here every day at 7 p.m. If you go, if you show up at like lunch, that's when the skateboarders show up. It's really, it's this whole arc. It's very weird. I don't know what's going on with those people.

Do you need someone's permission to count them? No. But it just, it just got me to thinking though, like, are there times of the day when certain vehicles are more prevalent than other times of the day? And I guess there are. Yeah. Because you get the mom, like, school-run vehicles. Yeah.

Like, all the minivans would be at a certain time. They're 3.30 or whenever you pick up kids from school. Anyway, that was an observation. That's interesting. Yeah, it struck me. It struck me as odd. And I have one more that is piggybacking off of that. And I've just been noticing this because, like I've said, I'm back out in the streets.

I'm riding my bike every day like I was a couple years ago. I'm among the people. And I just said, this is just a PSA to anybody in the world who walks around a major metropolitan area, be it for fitness. Maybe you're jogging. Maybe you're walking. Maybe you're walking your dog. Maybe you're jogging, maybe you're walking, maybe you're walking your dog, maybe you're pushing your kid in a stroller down the path, maybe you're jogging,

whatever it is. If you are going around town and doing that with headphones on, you've almost died seven times and you have no idea. I have seen so many people almost die because they're listening to headphones and not paying attention and avert tragedy because somebody else saw them first and didn't run them over or back into them or plow into them. And they just keep walking

without a care in the world because they don't hear anything because they're blasting 50 Cent or whatever. And they just have no idea because the Carpenters are playing that they almost just got creamed by a utility truck. It happens at least three or four times a day. I almost got hit in the bike lane by a fucking car two days ago who was driving in the partitioned bike lane at me.

And I was like, it was a weird standoff where I was like, I have the right of way here, right? And I looked down and there's a picture of a fucking bicycle on the ground and an arrow pointing that way. And this guy, and I was just like, fuck it. He's going to have to run me over because he's in my place. I'm not doing this.

And he was in a Maserati and I guess he didn't want to mess his car up so he turned at the last minute and got back on the real road. But he had to like, he had to like hit a partition. Like, you know those tall, like plastic partitions

that kind of flop? He had to clip one of those to get around me. They're usually what separates like a carpool lane and stuff yeah they separate like the bike lane from the rest of the street anyway interesting i wonder which which song people have been run over by the most wait what's it that's no that's interesting you know i mean that didn't make sense yeah yeah yeah no i totally know what you mean absolutely yeah shocking and some of the songs you wouldn't expect it's difficult you would not believe the shoe size on bohemian rhapsody you do not want to get trampled on by that song blue suede shoes blue suede shoes yeah that's a good one another one bites the dust i did oh god

that would be a great one i uh yeah there's there's all those like new transparency modes now on headphones that have noise canceling so you can uh hear through them that That's what I use when I ride. So I can be super safe. Nick says we have to stop. Oh, okay. Man, I gotta say, the show's been flying by lately. We've just been really jamming. This one may have been the fastest hour of my life.

Today. Yeah, it's insane how that works. It's like we just sat down. I can't believe. When I looked at the clock a second ago and I initiated that thing where I said, I can't believe it's been 50 minutes. What did we talk about? I thought I was going to look at it and it was going to say we were like 24 minutes

in and I was like, all right, now we should start transitioning into some bigger stuff or some bits. And I was so surprised that time just melted away. It did. I saw some comments about episode 100. I think it was 158. Okay.

The one where you introduced yourself as Porterhouse. A lot of people saying that that's a great one to get people in on. I tried to re-listen to that, imagining I'd never heard that before. Awful. Absolutely horrendous. At no point do we say our real names. We introduce ourselves as one set of nicknames, and then we start talking about another set of nicknames.

I can't imagine. Maybe they're right. Maybe that is a great one, because it's very funny. But I feel like you have to have external context about what the hell we're talking about yeah we're deep we're deep into our nickname era right now our moniker era if you will and i imagine that's got to be confusing because it's i mean i think it's identity challenging including this one you've introduced me as a different name the last four episodes dude thanks for noticing i've

been making a special attempt at calling you some different variation of your name every time. I wrote Whoop Scoop down. Whoop Scoop might be my favorite. I like Whoop Scoop a lot. Yeah, I've been Whoop Scoop. I've been Whoop Scoop, Ram Jam. Not to be confused with Ram Scoop and Whoop Tone. And that's just the last four.

And you've been Stuart. And you've been... What was the other one? Errol. Errol, yeah. My name's Gavin, by the way. There you go. If you were wondering an hour and five minutes in,

his name's Gavin, everybody. What a disappointment to learn all the possible variations, and you went with Gavin of all the names. It's the least fun. There's so many better options on the field. so many better options on the field can you imagine having whoop scoop on your birth oh that'd be great maybe that's what i'll call the i'll call the i'll call the ice cream gloves the whoop scoops

the whoop scoops that's great that's brilliant it's so fucking smart i'm gonna make them after this i'm gonna i'm gonna get in the lab straight after we finish filming now is your is your lab next to your bed my lab is actually the uh dining room table at the moment oh that's that's a good lab that's my lab too yeah it's a great and i think as it's similar to most dining room tables in that uh it's something i've rarely eaten at but it's completely caked with junk. So that is the lab area. How funny would it be if your dining room table was also my lab? And sometimes you would just come downstairs to get a drink or a snack and I'm sitting at your table like, don't talk to me now, I'm in the lab.

Isn't that what it was like when we lived together sometimes? Yeah, pretty much. I guess so. Don't talk to me. I'm conducting car surveys. Give me a minute. Tracking Subarus. You think the paint color matters? Yeah, I'm just trying to

walk out of the kitchen. I'm just getting cereal. Andrew would be like, don't talk to me. I'm listening to every state song. Oh, I started the anthems. I started world anthems. I'm in the Bs. I'm almost done with Bs.

I'm going alphabetical. Any standout so far? Barbados is disappointing. Didn't like Barbados. How's Bolivia? How's Belarus? I feel like Belarus. I need to have the list because it's it is kind of

tricky where a lot of them feel the same um so it's like you create lines so there's an afghanistan line danistan pretty good pretty good one not the best but good so far are you gonna average at one letter per week uh i'm trying to do multiples in a night, but yeah, at least a letter per week. Excellent. Yeah. I don't want to take that long. We're playing games tonight. We're playing games.

What are you guys going to play? I think Halo. A little bit of Halo. I hope you guys squash the beef. Am I going to join what? Am I going to join what? All right. Am I going to join you guys playing Halo? Yeah. Oh, I don't know.

I wasn't invited. Huh. I mean, what time are you going to play? Am I invited? Always. Well, I'm just finding out about it now. What time are you going to play? Actually, Andrew went really quiet. Andrew, is he?

What? No. Absolutely. It's six. Andrew just said no. Andrew, is he? What? No. Absolutely. It's six. Andrew just said no. All right. No. No.

Not at all. Not at all. He said no a bunch. He's saying it over and over again. He didn't say anything. He's killing me. I didn't say anything. This is what...

Honestly, what happened, I looked and I noticed I still have Tiger Bomb on my desk and I panicked. I was like, why is this still here? I need to get rid of this. Here's what would happen if I played video games with y'all. I would just try to do... I would be stuck in podcast mode the whole time and then it would just turn into a whole thing. You guys would probably have

more fun if you were just the two of you. I mean, you could use your AirPods though. I could. You could. It would really annoy Eric because then we'd want to make another video game thing and that would come back and then that would... He doesn't want that. He does not want that. And you know, we've talked about it at length

off camera and he has some pretty solid reasons for it. We even touched on it in Sausage Talk 3. I think that's why it's coming up, yeah. I enjoyed that Sausage Talk yesterday but I hope it's not too dry. It was the driest, but I think that's not too dry. It was the driest,

but I think that was intentional. Yeah. We were really getting into behind the scenes. The line between sausage talk and sausage talk is pretty, if you get my drift, it's pretty thin. Yeah, and also, sausages can be different levels of dryness.

There's different moist levels. I mean, that's true. Sometimes you get dry sausage. Sometimes you get a sausage that's in a casing that you're supposed to break out of the casing into tiny little

and then fry it that way. Or you could just buy sausage that's already out of the casing. I don't know why they make you do the extra... Anyway. Yeah, it was crumbly sausage. It was a whole thing.

Thanks for listening to the F*** Face Podcast. Be on the lookout for Blindside just already hit. We blindsided you with it. You didn't see it coming. And now here we are talking about it again even though it already came out. Be on the lookout for a blindside just already hit. We blindsided you with it. You didn't see it coming. And now here we are talking about it again, even though it already came out.

Be on the lookout for us chucking fruit in a hundred degree parking lot for some reason on concrete where it gets extra hot. Be on the lookout for my nose flaps and how they react to Sir Stroming. Be on the lookout for a really dry round of sausage and pretty soon we're going to eat some potato chips. Thanks for listening and if you would be so kind maybe tell

somebody about this little podcast and how much fun they would have listening to it. We'll see you next time. Or we'll hear you next time. Or we won't hear shit. You'll hear us next time. Jeff will survey if you were here or not for next time. At 7 p.m. or 7 a.m. I need to know when you listen to this podcast.

Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. No one likes Clamato. Just don't do the thing. Stories from medieval times. The horse made its feelings known. Why is the PlayStation 5 so big? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.

All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. Man, I just finished with Millie, one of the worst television shows ever made. Oh, what was it? Oh, which one? Manifest. We watched all the entire series. That is a dog shit show.

Was that the one where they disappear? Yeah, they're in a plane, and then the plane disappears, and then it lands five years later, and everybody thinks they're dead. I feel like that show's been made eight times. times yeah well uh it didn't need to be made a ninth but it was and we watched have you watched from no what's that from is lost with vampires and it it feels like it will be lost with vampires all the way through. What has the guy? I don't know what it's on.

It's a great question. It's I think on like a B network and then it switch networks. But has the guy from Michael on it from lost and it has like one of the directors of lost in a bunch of the episodes. It's about a town that like vampires come out at night and try to eat you and you can't escape the town. And it's like people get stuck there. Imagine all of like the logic and reasoning for why they can't leave the island, but apply to a small American town with vampires. I was gonna say, it sounds kind of like that movie 30 days of night.

Sort of. Yeah. Like not in a, in a sense of like, oh my God, we, we all end up stuck here and we can't leave this place

and we all were in different parts of America for how we got here. Dude, I looked it up. I don't know how you found this show. Season one is on Epix and season two is on MGM Plus, which I didn't even know was a thing. Yeah, that's why when you asked,

I saw a TikTok of it and then I found it online. That's interesting. I like Vamp.'s like, I don't know. I saw a tick tock of it and then I found it online. That's interesting. I like family like a creepy, a creepy show with intrigue. That's fascinating. But it feels like they're going to drop the ball and explaining any of this stuff. But they're real good at intrigue. A lot of mystery.

Why do they have to drop all the balls? Why can't they ever deliver a ball? It's all the balls constantly are getting dropped. It's so fucking hard to to juggle apparently i blame you why why were you into juggling for a while there no i just i thought i don't know anyone who juggles i don't think i know anyone who juggles and i assumed i thought of all the people i'm friends with chef is the most likely i think to have this skill and if you didn't have it then i didn't think i knew any jugglers. And that was sad to me.

Which then... I'm glad I didn't disappoint. It then turned into, Gavin and I had a fight about, if you know how to juggle, can you... Does that make you a juggler? Or is there further qualification needed? Like, do you need to get paid for it?

I think there's further qualification needed. It's like saying, if you know how to sing, does that make you a singer? That's the... Well, I think that does. I think you... Well, hmm. That's like saying if you know how to sing, does that make you a singer? That's the, well, I think that does. I think you, well, hmm. No, I'm not a singer. No, but like there's a level,

if you can sing well, I think you become a singer. I don't think you need, you don't need like a point. Yeah, but it's not like. Like if you have a driver's license, it doesn't make you a race car driver. That's true. Yeah, I was thinking in my head of like, I know how to ride a bike.

I'm not a cyclist. But I think the skill itself is almost like the barrier of entry. Because just not juggling is catching. Playing catch. That's like baseline juggling in my head. I'm real good at catching. I'm a level up from catching for sure.

Absolutely. So I don't know. I think there's an argument that you can make that a juggler is just knowing the base skill. What if you could only be one thing like you could you could kind of like in a video game when you unlock a title and you can change your title, you know? OK, that's a big thing in Gears of War. I could, you know, change your title to like the Unvanquished or whatever, like a goblin killer. of war i could you know change your title to like the unvanquished or whatever like the goblin killer what if you could have at all times one title but you you could only assume one title so it's like you're if you pick juggler that's who you are but if you wanted to get into cooking

or whatever you'd have to relinquish juggler then you know yeah like what if we could all assign ourselves one title and that was our title but we but we're stuck with it and unless we had to go through some sort of process to remove it and then you to pick a new one but then you have to abandon those skills you have to like empty your shirt yeah it's like when you make like a character in like a fallout game or something you get a sub skill like you want to milk yeah you got to refund points okay and we spend them and i only get one skill is that the thing and i have to pick which one most people don't even get one so if you have a skill i would well it's like you just set up a really fun game and then told me i

don't get any pieces and i can't play so i don't know where you want me to go with this no that was that was a funny indictment on other people oh i thought we're playing a game of what skill we would pick and what would yeah we are but i'm just saying i was just told i don't got no pieces i'd love to have no you've got all the pieces you've got so many pieces you can just only as long as they're not balls because i will drop all of us okay well you're definitely not a juggler don't we established that that's how we started this yeah don't don't pick that title you take that i don't think i get every struggle i think if i trained for six months i still wouldn't be able to juggle i just don't think I get ever juggled. I think if I trained for six months, I still wouldn't be able to juggle. I just don't think I got that in me.

I mean, maybe. It could be that thing where you just are still like you. Is this you? I mean, I didn't learn how to juggle. I just knew how to juggle one day. I just realized now I'm not even. Yeah, but Craig is still in here. So this is like a weird.

Just in case. Can you just throw this on the back of the episode like a post pleasantries why don't we fade out and then we go to this bye bye I really wish I didn't leave to take a shit in the middle of that if you wonder why I wasn't

god damn it the one the one time i didn't stick around that was a really fast shit yeah were you just like listening in your headphones the whole time like oh no they're still talking and you're just trying to squeeze your shit out we know where Gavin put his skill point that's clear god damn it