F**kface - The Baseball F**kface Fiasco // Dodge the Bov [101]

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about kinks vs cakes, ecomm pleasantries, F**kface Tax Exemptions, Andrew's Popsicle Roulette, Regulation Bagel, and ABBA memories. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16 + code face16) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Previously on F*** Face. Hello and welcome to the 101st episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Geoff Ramsey, and with me, as always, Andrew Panton, way up there in Canada, and everybody's favorite British wanker, Gavin Free, from Oxfordshire via Austin, Texas.

How are you doing, fellas? I'm good. Andrew was saying lactating women kinks yes yeah not cakes i thought he was saying cakes yeah i mean it was clear after the fact but i also was just i completely botched that it was a mess i don't know if we necessarily need to revisit the lactate that was when you went in there you were in the bunker for half yeah like i just botched that immediately and i was in my own head for the rest of that episode so i thought you said cakes and then i'm talking about like using tit milk to make a cake and then yeah uh you yeah then you said your mom was talking about sugar cookies so i thought it was still on the same page

yeah i don't know i don't know what happened i think a part of the problem is that we only hear each other over discord so it sort of sounds like we're all playing among us at the time but even in the when i was proofing it i didn't i still didn't understand what you said that's fair what's the honor about i was trying to remember in the moment what i thought because cakes makes sense to me i feel like maybe i also thought cakes yeah it wasn't until the comment levers were like gavin's an idiot i was like oh it still doesn't make any sense yeah that's fair it was from my perspective i started out and i immediately fucked it up in the order i wanted to do it and i'm like i just need anyone who wants to play ball with me right now i'll take it and you throwing you going in

the dessert category was like being thrown a life preserver, and I'm like I'll just take whatever We'll go in this angle. We got to figure a way through this because I've fucked this So What do you guys want to talk about today? I? Got nothing speaking of fuck this We could transition immediately to fuck up that happened we want to oh yeah the fucking baseballs all right let's get in to the fucking baseballs i'd love to get eric involved in this as well what happened i'll tell you i'll tell you i'll break it down

what happened rooster teeth is a mini headed monster We are a company of hundreds and hundreds of people. And so one of the frustrating things about being an on-camera talent from time to time is that when a mistake is made behind the scenes, or there's an issue behind the scenes, the talent wears it. So what happened was we released about 200 baseballs that we had hit or at least swung at. You know the whole saga. But now they're all gone. Please stop looking for them.

Don't go there. It is just a haven for snakes. We've accounted for every baseball. There are zero more baseballs. We've checked serial numbers. They're all accounted for. 100% of them have been recovered. Please do not look for more baseballs.

Okay, so what happened was we wanted to allow people the opportunity to buy them. We knew that there'd be more people wanting to buy them than we had to sell. And so you try to be as precise as possible with that. So we said at 10 a.m. Central Time on whatever day it was, we're going to release the balls. And then everybody who wants one can come in. And it's kind of like a melee, I understand. But people that want it can all go there at the same time and

you know, try their luck. Recognizing that we don't have enough balls for everyone, unfortunately. But you know, I only got so, there was only so much juice in my arms. There's a physical cost to this item. Like it makes complete sense that it would be a limited amount of them. A huge physical cost that cost

me overall about three weeks of pain. Cost me a tripod. Cost Gavin a tripod. Yeah. So it cost him some financial pain. So what happens is we're not the ones that actually take the balls and put them up on the store. They have to go to our shipping company and then they have to onboard them and put them into the inventory system.

And then they have to be individually wrapped and all that stuff. And while that's going on, they have to be added into our web store via a backend. And this is something I used to do for the first seven or about the first eight years of the company. I ran the store by myself. So I understand how difficult and how much more work it is behind the scenes than you may realize. It sounds like you just hit a button and you go, but it's really not that simple. There's a lot of linking and branching and a lot of I's that got to be dotted and T's that got to be crossed. And so we asked them to be put up at 10 a.m. The person who ended

up putting them in was not the person we told. Information gets passed down. There's a bit of a game of telephone from time to time, you know, a little purple monkey dishwasher in there. What essentially happened was the process, it's not an exact process. It takes anywhere between 10 and 15 minutes to add them to all the places that they need to be and then publish it to the store so that they go live. So the person that does it, they typically start about 9.45. Because, you know, that gives them a good 15 minutes to work with, and then they just get it as close to, in this instance, to 10 a.m. as possible. What happened in this instance

is the process went faster than normal. And so not realizing that we had a hard time, that department, they just published them early, right? Which is like, if you think about it, if you're just a person whose job is to do that, you're like, well, I'd put them out five minutes early, then people have, you know, then they're just there waiting for you when you show up. I don't think they understood the demand. And so by about 9.50, all of the balls had been sold out.

So the people who showed up early were rewarded by getting the balls because they showed up early and were like spam and refresh. So those people were those early birds. They caught those worms. They got those little ball worms. And then the people who dutifully showed up at 10 a.m. when we told them to were like, what do you mean they're sold out? What the fuck? And they didn't get it.

And they were understandably, justifiably upset, as were we. We were upset because people were upset. We wanted to give everybody a fair shot at getting the balls, and we felt like through no intentional fault of anybody's own that we didn't deliver on that. And so we were gutted and frustrated. And as I know the e-com department

that runs this on the back end, they were also disappointed. Now, my solution to this going forward, and I have talked about this a little bit with actually a link with Eric, you by the way, you guys want to see a producer producing in action. Eric was on the ball that day. He was all over this all day long. Shout out and major kudos to Eric for doing a hell of a job trying to get to the bottom of this and get it all worked out and get figured out what happened and how to make sure it doesn't happen again my solution would be just to never announce an exact time again because uh we fucked it up twice and i don't want to do i don't want

to do that again no no here's here's the thing here's the thing when things like this happen i don't really care why these things happen it's it's, but what are you going to do? Belabor the point. You know what I mean? All I want to know is, are we capable of doing the thing that we initially set out to do going forward? So I had a lot of conversations with a lot of people in the e-comm team, and I was assured that going forward, when we have these down-to-the-minute drops, we can do them. I found out what the limitations are i found out what the problems or what the hiccups would be but i was assured that when we go going forward if we wanted to do this stuff for down to the minute stuff what happened this time won't happen again and we can do it to a precise minute the way that we want it. To me, it sounds like Ecom went in for pleasantries.

They went in early. And you know I'm not a fan of that. And hey, listen, I think there's a lot of people that feel like your stance on pleasantries is 100% validated by this whole ordeal. I saw a lot of that sentiment. As a fan of pleasantries, there's a line of pleasantries you can have too much pleasantries they were too early on the pleasantries you can't you can't be 20 minutes early on the pleasant a five minute pleasantry that's a different story so uh I know

that there's a lot of audience members out there who were frustrated we are also frustrated Eric has put a lot of work into making sure that the next time we do this it'll work without a hitch and i'll tell you right now if we fuck it up a third time i'm i'm just going to eliminate the opportunity for us to release to the minute i'm just like it'll be out sometime on this day best of luck check you know like i'll give you like we'll give you like a window like more like it'll be like when you have to get your Internet fixed and you call AT&T or or Spectrum or whoever you have in it with. And they go, yeah, we'll be there between 8 a.m. and noon. That'll be the new window. We'll be like, why would we want to drop the balls?

Why? Why would we want to operate in the worst way of your idea? We can't operate in that in the accurate way. The way to fix this going forward is for us to operate like spectrum internet that's not yeah that's not a great comparable but the just defense i went through a phase where i was super into trying to collect like mondo posters like a long many years ago and they do not put specific times out there like it'll release on this day at least they didn't back then but they would always put them into the system at around 10 a.m.,

but they were never definitive. So I think there's room for that. There's a history of companies doing that. I'm just saying if we blow it again, if we strike out, if we're 0 for 3 on this, I think that we gotta reevaluate. I'm willing to give it another shot. If we get three strikes on our

baseballs. Yeah, but I'm absolutely willing to give it another shot i appreciate the work that eric did i trust the ecom team can get it right i'm just saying if we don't we got to cut our losses totally if it happens again i won't talk about it you guys can talk about it on the show i won't talk about it on the show because i won't have anything that we could air that like nothing that i would say would be usable. So, like, I'm guaranteeing that it will not happen again. All right, there we go.

So, to that end, we want to do a make good. We want to make it up to the audience members who followed the letter of the law and showed up at 9.59 to wait for the clock to tick over to 10

and try to buy the balls and find out they were not there. I've already asked Ecom to buy us more balls. I'm prepared to go out and do it all over again. Now, my initial idea, my initial idea, and there's a counter argument to that, and I'd love to,

and I think the counter argument is probably ultimately correct, but I'd like to at least hit with, my initial idea was to mix it up a little bit, to make it a little different, to share some of the burden on me. maybe i hit 100 maybe gavin hits 50 maybe eric does 20 and then maybe we mail a couple to andrew and he can do whatever weird shit andrew does with stuff and then we just kind of mix it all up and then you're getting like the potential of maybe you get a

gavin ball in in blue or you get a eric ball in orange or a jeff ball in black yeah different paints for different people. Andrew's counterpoint was we can't make a new product that's different because that's just going to make the people who already bought the black hit balls want the new product as well. There should be parity between the product so that

everybody gets the same potential ball. And I think as much as it pains me to say it, I think he's probably right. Man, this is deep it i think he's probably right man this is deep i think it's also a conversation that the audience could respond to like in the comments of this like would they rather just do the exact same thing as like a pure make good so people who already have one don't feel obligated to buy this one or do you want uh would you prefer what jeff just said of like us all having our own takes on the balls and then doing like a second release essentially that way with a larger volume of them?

We'll let the audience decide. We'll kind of go by audience sentiment after this airs. Either way, we're going to in some fashion either create an identical product or a newer altered product and release another, I guess, two or 300 balls out into the wild. So if you didn't get one, you'll be able to, to try again, uh, just because we want to make it up to you because I, I,

there were, I, I, there were, there was a lot of anger out there in the world. Uh, and, uh,

and I get it, I get it. And I want to make it up. I want to make it up to every comment lever and every regulation listener out there. Like when you get beat out for something, like, if it drops on time, that's just how it goes. Like, it sucks, but it's like, you live with that.

But, like, when the system fails, like, when you feel like a bunch of bots bought it or whatever, like, something went against it, that sucks. Like, that's, like, an understandable frustration. So, it sounds like we've been able to figure stuff out, hopefully, and we will do make it on this. And depending on what the audience wants.

I think just to say sincerest apologies. Absolutely. If you showed up and felt slighted, we are going to do our absolute damnedest to make it up to you. It was very us, though. It was very f*** face. It was. Very f*** face. But, you know, yeah.

Yeah. We don't have to be so true to the letter of the show all the time. Yeah, yeah. We don't have to be so true to the letter of the show all the time. Andrew, you wanted to roll into something? So speaking of, I have a little story to tell that was very funny that happened to me recently. Speaking of show expenses, I filed my taxes last week. And typically, whenever I have done things for this show, because it's work, but it's weird.

It's a weird category thing. I've never really tried to claim what would be traditional work expenses. And so this is the first year I attempted to do so, including the porta potty. So I was like, how do I how do I submit this in like a way that makes sense? That's not going to be like highly questioned. So I thought, I'll fancy up the wording and I called it production equipment. I listed the port-a-potty as production equipment on my form. I put the price amount down.

I put the bingo wheel down as production equipment. And I put some comic books down when we're doing research, extensive research. I put all of the BTS sauce orders as production meals. I was trying to class up everything as much as possible. You should be expensing all this to the company. Yeah, I don't know how any of this works. You're an employee.

Talk to the producer. So I put all that in and I brought it to the person that does my taxes. And I showed them the form and I'm like, so I got these. I got this production stuff. And they immediately said they pointed at the porta potty and said, what is this? I said, what do you mean? They're like, no, like I understand. This is production equipment.

What was the equipment? And I had to say porta potty and the look of shock on their like they were like they said they audibly said what and they looked so confused and I had to then explain what it was that it was a port-a-potty and why it was related to the show and that we made these mugs and it was this whole thing and then I realized oh no she's gonna do this with all of them so then she immediately pointed to the next one what is this production equipment and i had to just go bingo wheel didn't question that one and then we're able to move on but the embarrassment of having to tell somebody port-a-potty and there's just a shocked look on

her face was very funny oh my god so i'm i'm almost certainly going to get audited i'm excited for this process. And you could have just got reimbursed. I could have just got, potentially. Yeah, I don't know how any of that stuff works, as I said. We have a form, I think. Do we? Yeah, it's expense reports. It's called Eric.

I'll introduce you to the wonderful world of concur expense sheet reporting. Yeah, so they made those audible noises, and you welcome man enjoy yeah well some of it to be fair like i don't the port-a-potty was a weird thing where it was just something i wanted to do and i felt like it would be tough to get approval of because it's expensive it was over a thousand dollars uh so i just did it yeah it just feels yeah i don't know yeah it's a lot of money for you i mean i mean just so you're aware there's no way i would have gotten approval for over a thousand dollars for a port-a-potty like like they're like it's just it just wouldn't have had like i just would have gotten it sold out on mugs though like it was a valuable it was worth it from the 100 worth it we sold 1 000

tiki mugs because of that port-a-potty you bought us. Right, right. And you guys understand the order that these things happened in, right? Okay, just making sure. We didn't sell the tiki mugs before we did the port-a-potty. No, but listen, it all worked out in the end. It was a clear thing. It was a great idea.

I think it's impossible to deny that it was a great idea ultimately. What you're doing, though, what we're doing is we're building a resume of success so that now when we go to uh i don't know the finance department to say hey we need to buy you know this thousand dollar piece of nonsense but we promise it'll turn into content down the road uh they'll go oh yeah well you've proven that time and time again so uh sign off. When you use the bathroom, you always close the door behind you, right? You don't want a random passerby looking in on you, so why would you let people look in on you when you go online?

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i have another thing i need to bring up quickly uh because i should have done this at the beginning of the show but i'm i'm an idiot last episode jeff you came at me pretty pretty aggressively at the end you you took some shots my way you just fucking i felt i felt i told a good story and you're like oh god what about you you got any fucking content for this episode so i came up with a few games jeff and one of them one of them is sort of time sensitive are we gonna start off the next 100 episodes with you being mad at me yeah no we're going to conclude within this one because I did a thing. I came with the games, Jeff.

This is game one. This is an important thing. I should have mentioned earlier for my idea with it. Before you go any further, can I ask you a question? Absolutely. Did you mail something to me? No. Okay, just making sure because I had a FedEx note on my door

and if it was for the show, I didn't get it. Okay, cool. No, but speaking of mailing stuff, so this ties in, we got a Bovril taste test potentially happening today. By the way, I've had Bovril. That's exciting. We can talk about that.

I made popsicles. I have six popsicles. I made a tray. Three of them are good things. No, they're all different things. There's one Bov Pop in that mix. Now, I didn't put these together, so I don't know which one is what. There's six of them.

I will have five of them. Three of them are good. Three of them are bad. Jeff, you can pick which ones I eat whenever you want to. If you say a number, one through six, I will then pull that one out. Front left is the first one.. Front left is the, uh, the first one.

So front left, then to the right of it is two. I'll go up from there. Um, there's six flavors. The three good ones, seven up. Cause that was the first soda chug I did.

I use seven up. The second good popsicle is Coca-Cola. My, my cold beverage of choice. Third, delicious popsicle, apple apple juice a big apple guy love apple hell yeah is it cosmic crisp juice yeah it's not i wish it was it'd be even better the bad three salad cream is one of them uh the next bad one is bovril as you know about

and one of them is pancake batter. I was told... Oh, Jesus. I was told that one of these did not freeze at all, and I am not excited about that one. So this is gonna be sort of a Bovril taste test, but possibly, in a true salad cream-like fashion,

you might not pick the Bovril one. I might completely avoid the Bovril test. So you're gonna do five uh yeah we're gonna do five one of these i will not eat you can pick you just say a number one through six at any point in the show and then i will eric has a good point you should do them blind yeah well i don't know what they are already they're already blind to me what i'm saying is that say jeff says three okay you Okay. You pull out three, but you don't look. You, like, close your eyes.

Don't look at what three is. Okay. Pull it out and then put it directly into your mouth. Because I think, like, don't smell it. Just go for it. No, that's fair. That's fair. I'll do that.

So, this will be your first time having Bovril, and it's a frozen Bovpop, potentially? Yeah, potentially. I don't know if that's the one that didn't freeze. Did you go and find Bovril yourself, or did my Bovril finally show up? Your Bovril never arrived. That's what I'm saying. is what i'm saying as far as packages go i don't know they we should really check on that i'm assuming amazon delivered they might be lost they couldn't find my door they're missing so i had to go and buy my own bovril over the weekend and it was easy to find uh i had to go to three grocery stores so I wouldn't say it's the easiest to find, but I was able to get it.

But it existed in your town. Oh, it totally exists in my town, yeah. It wasn't like every store had it, but yeah, it exists here. I was looking on Amazon for Bovril, there was like one seller, and it was like, next day prime delivery, and on the thing it said, imported from Canada. So I thought, oh, if I just turn around and put a Canadian address, maybe it'll be quicker? But I guess they pre-imported from Canada to set in the US, so I guess to send

it back to Canada has been a real problem, because that stuff's still not been delivered. That's incredible. Yeah, they're lost. Yeah, it just says... Oh, it says delivered today. Really? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Do I have more Bovril in my mailbox?

Oh, no. I hope i like it oh fuck i can't believe jeff you had you tried bovril outside of proper face canon well what what else am i gonna do i was well listen have it i was it was given to me uh during i went to a all right so well let's do this first before we get into me well this is going you could you could tell a story and then in the middle of the story say four and then i just have to fucking pull okay got it so so i went to england i went to the uk for a week i spent uh like eight days over in london in your neck of the woods gaff by the way london says hi they miss you hello you. Hello. That's not true at all. Nobody, everybody I talk to in England,

they've never heard of you. I'm like, do you want any messages for Gavin? And they're like, what? Who? First off, Bovril? You made it sound like Bovril's everywhere in the UK. It took me six days before I finally encountered Bovril. That's going to Sainsbury's, Waitrose, Tesco, all the different grocery stores.

Talking to people at stores being like, do you know where I can find Bovril? And everybody going, why would you want to find that? Did I say Bovril was everywhere? I said I found it in a vending machine and at a football game. I'm not out there buying it in the supermarket. It's not readily available, and when I asked people for it, they all universally said, just get Vegemite. It's way better.

Or just get Marmite. It's way better. And I'm like, yeah, but that's not what I want. I want Barvill. And they're like, no, you don't. And I had to argue with people. And they're like, listen, you don't want it. And I'm like, I'm telling you, I need it for a thing. And they're like, it must be in the supermarket. Just get Marmite. So I was there for one of the other podcasts I do,

the Theme Park podcast, as well as for a Rooster Teeth community meetup. So during the community meetup, and I was doing this meetup with regular fan Jack. I'm not sure where he is in the hierarchy right now. Is he going down? It's called Fan Jack. Well, he's not a minor league fan anymore.

I think he's up from minor league to just regular. uh yeah i think so uh and so i was on a panel and somebody came up and gave it to me and it had a bow on it and they put like a little rooster teeth union jack logo on it and they were like here we got this for you and here's some boiling water and here's something to spread it on will you eat it in front of everyone and since it was being filmed, I thought, yeah, might as well. Because also, I wasn't sure I could bring it back to the States because somebody told me

that you can't import it to the US. Like you can't bring it from the UK to the US. So you said it was being filmed. So you're like, yeah, no problem. Do you have that footage? I think my girlfriend Emily has, so I can give it to you guys. I don't have it on me. Great. And what were your thoughts?

So I had it two ways. Apparently the making it like beef bouillon, kind of boiling it, is not the main way. I guess people mostly use it as a spread on toast, kind of like Marmite. So I had it that way first.

Oh, by the way andrew uh go ahead and eat number two okay with your eyes closed please but while you're doing that i'll upload the photo just for reference uh of me right before did he keep all the the pops behind it behind him i put it in the fridge and my mic stand is covering the fridge door, so I have to slide the mic. That was an immense chair creak. Sliding. Okay, so I'm pulling the pop out. I'm so nervous. I should have, like, a puke bucket.

This is... Okay. Pop two coming out. It is solid. Try to identify it without opening your eyes. Yeah. Oh, it's revving up. Oh.

Oh. This is good. This is a good one. Congratulations. You dodged the bop. Mm- good. This is a good one. Congratulations. You dodged the bov. Mm-hmm. So I've uploaded a photo. It's on the face

Instagram already, I think. It's of me. And by the way, a snazzy new regulation listener T-shirt, which I think is just very nice.

And there's a regular fan Jack in the background and I'm holding the bovril that they gave me. So the first way I had it was as a spread and I have to say it was fucking heinous.

Like absolutely disgusting. If you've ever had Vegemite, if you've ever had Marmite, this is just as bad if not like 5% worse. I mean just dog shit. Not edible. Just not edible. However, then I took a

teaspoon of this goop, and I stuck it in the boiling water, and I spun it around a little bit, and made the hot Bovril cup like you would have at a football game. And I give it a 5.2 out of 10. Okay, and what was the first one? Dog shit out of 10, and then 5.2 out of 10? Yeah, I found myself throughout the panel still sipping it a little bit.

I probably ended up drinking half of a little Dixie cup full of Bovril. Yeah, it's not great, but in that form, I can see like on a cold day, you kind of want a little nourishment and to be warmed up. I can see, in much the same way, maybe you would drink like hot bone broth

or like a bouillon. I can see it being a little bit of a hearty drink. Utilitarian. I've never had it as a spread, so I'll probably try that at some point. But yeah, I don't mind it

as a hot bovril. Also, at a glance, Jack's t-shirt in the corner of my eye looked like it said anal passage. That's the other podcast I do, anal passage.

Can we just sell that shirt remade as anal passage as a face shirt eric eric can you get on that please i would wear that we gotta do that that's awesome jack would think a glance that i'm repping the merch but it's really just you know what would be the ultimate will be the the ultimate is if we work it out with his wife so she switches out the annual pass shirt in his laundry for an annual passage shirt and see if we can get him to wear it without knowing he's wearing an annual passage shirt. We would have to move fast on that before this episode comes out.

Yeah. Which is less than a week. It's Tuesday. Christ. We have to, like, swap the shirt and put it right at the top of the pile.

Okay, but we've kind of... This is like the bat paranoia. He now will have to check his annual pass shirt always. He's going to have to constantly double check that shirt. So it kind of works, no matter what.

We've created shirt paranoia. Oh, Christ. Oh, Eric's already sent it off to the merch team. Okay. So there you go. There's your seven up Bob pop. Oh, very clear. So you just dodged the top by the looks of it. I did.

I took a bite out of the top of it. Dodge the Bob is a great name for this. I'm just going to steal that, Jeff. That's fantastic. We're trying to dodge the Bob. How on a scale of one to 10, how do you rate the Sprite Pop? 9. It was way better than I anticipated.

That was delicious. Damn. I like as well, you've just outright refused to try hot Bovril here. You've gone straight for the Bov Pop. I've gone straight for the Bov Pop, yeah. I guess I could have used the Keurig to heat up the Bov, right? Isn't that a thing I could have done? Yeah.

Bov machine. Ramen and Bov exclusively. That's what that Keurig is for. Maybe that's... Dude, there should be a Bovril flavored ramen. Oh my god. That's like the hot new thing. A Bovril cake up.

I saw so many videos of people pouring Bovril down the sink after trying it. It's really, honestly, hot Bovril is not as bad as I thought it would be. It's drinkable. I wouldn't choose it, but I would, in much the same way, like for people who don't like coffee but need to be warm on a cold day, I could see it absolutely doing the trick. That makes sense to me. Yeah.

Saw a few comment leavers from St. Kilda saying that they've been on the pier and stuff, and it was weird to hear the place they live mentioned on Firebase. Oh, really? The reach of this podcast. Yeah. It's crazy. Because that's far away. Yeah.

You know what else is interesting talking about the reach so you know i did this panel and there were you know maybe 100 uh generic general rooster teeth community members there right yeah and uh i was surprised how many of them do not listen to this podcast we got to do a better job of convincing people to listen to this podcast oh so not a lot of regulation listeners? There were more, I'd say maybe half were regulation listeners. The other half had no idea what we were talking about. They weren't up to date

on anal passages? No. Just realized we've got some work to do. We've got work to do within our own larger community to reach out to those people. Eric's shirt's being worked on just open up the photoshop file oh dear oh dear yeah yeah how do how do we get more people to listen to this or is it better that more people don't it's like our little secret podcast

exclusive club good question yeah i don't i don't know i mean animated will come out at some point potentially i feel like that'll be a good reach for people it's kind of tough it's a tough thing Yeah. I don't know. I mean, animated will come out at some point, potentially. I feel like that'll be a good reach for people. It's kind of tough. It's a tough thing to jump into. It's funny, as I said, getting texts from the My Hubbies Bagels people. Oh, and speaking of that, I never said on the show, there is a regulation bagel. The regulation bagel exists now.

It is a definitive thing. You can order it. It's on the menu. I did my research. I tried a bunch of different combinations of things. The regulation bagel is a bagel. I like it on a cheddar bagel, but I guess it could be

on any bagel, especially dependent on availability of the bagels. But I would say a cheddar bagel is not regulation. It's a bagel. It doesn't matter. This is my regulation bagel. This is how I've worked this out. This is regulation for the show. It is, half of it is the bacon cream cheese that they have and the other half is the garlic and black pepper cream cheese half and half as a sandwich incredible so that's really good it's

really fucking good now is this a hot bagel this is you get it toasted there it's your choice i i get it toasted i ask for a regulation bagel toasted step to the side get my bagel it's fantastic i'd highly recommend what did it feel like to stand in line and order your own creation for the so this is it's funny you say that jeff they have sold out every day like they've been so popular it's been amazing like the they've gotten so much love from the community and just, well, our community and just the community in which I live in generally. Yeah. They have so much support.

They're selling out all the time. They're in lines. So I decided I was going to go there super early. They open at 8 a.m. I left to go there and I was in line at 7 a.m. I'm going to be the first person in line. Did they open early and sell all the bagels to you and then everyone in the line was pissed off?

No. I did not have a whole line of people mad at me. This is a great face on me though. This is a classic. So I show up at 7 a.m. When do you think the next person showed up to join this line that I'd created? 7.58.

7.58? 7.43 was the next. I spent 43 minutes in a line of one. 43 minutes just by myself. Then a couple showed up at 7.43. They were behind me and then one other group showed up at 7 52 when we were let in a little bit early they opened up at 7 52 they typically open up at 8 i got there an hour early for a three-person line uh but i got all my stuff

i ordered all the bagels i ordered the challah bread i got the regulation bagel i so happy it was a great experience ever since they've opened they have sold out every single day by noon the only day they haven't sold out was the day that i showed up at 7 a.m i think they may have sold out before it closed but it was like they went the whole day with bagels so it was just a quiet day the one day that i showed up an hour early it wouldn't matter i could have come later in the day how were the line pleasantries there was really a non-existent line there were not great talk to the other couple you didn't try to i would have tried to push the regulation bagel you'd be like hey have you guys been here before i hear there's this thing called the regulation bagel yeah like a secret i love when

you order it in it comes in on the menu as secret regulation bagel as how it's categorized it's fantastic it's been awesome seeing people take photos with their regulation bagels uh it's delicious and uh yeah it's it's great not great line pleasantries though it was cold I'd been there for like 40 42 minutes just with shorts it It was just freezing. I was so cold. How did the ankles hold up? You know, I got a little, I kind of pulled, I pulled something a little bit, but we were okay. We were fine. I was worried.

I was sitting in front, like you kind of walk up to the store and a person walked by with their dog and I thought they were going to go into the line. So I was like, fuck, I need to be in line. I want to be the first one in. And so I immediately shot up and twisted and I felt like a little tightness in the Achilles and I was like, I'm a fucking idiot, but I'm I want to be the first one in. And so I immediately shot up and twisted, and I felt like a little tightness in the Achilles, and I was like, I'm a fucking idiot. But I'm good. I'm good. No issues. We're all fine.

100%. Push the marathon another six months. Andrew got up too fast to get a bagel. I did. Not even to get a bagel. To hold the line. To maintain my status in line is the first person to go in

oh eric's got good point uh gabby pick uh five oh one two three four okay here we go okay this one's still this is frozen as well no cheating oh fuck i'm so nervous oh oh god Fuck I'm so nervous I just feel like I won a game of battleship. You sank our panting. Oh my god. You sank our pantin. Oh my god. Andrew did not dodge the ball. Oh my god. That sucks so much. Direct hit.

Direct fucking hit Gavin. Face Russian roulette. I gotta take another bite. Mmm. Russian Roulette. I'm going to take another bite. I drooled. I drooled on myself. Fucking criminals. Who likes this? Nobody has it like that, you fool.

Describe the taste. It's beefy. It's very beefy. It's very beefy. It's very beefy. I'm gonna put that in the pocket. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Oh God. I can taste it in my god. Oh god. I can taste it in my mouth.

That's what you taste things. No, but like it's still is poignant. Oh my god. It tastes, the taste hasn't left. It's still there. So it's 9 out of 10 for 7 up. What was this one? Negative 6

That's, you can't No, it was bad I just did There's no way that's worse than frozen Salad cream, surely We'll find out, potentially Oh, Jesus Christ I think Nick's onto something

We should call it the, he put it in chat Freezy Beefy We should call it the... Put it in chat. Freezy Beefy. We should call it the Freezy Beefy Bob Pop. We should make a bunch and give them to kids at Halloween. No. I need to see the picture. I'm sending it right now. Yeah, please, please.

Oh. Oh. Jesus Christ. It looks fizzy. Oh, Jesus Christ. It looks fizzy. I could have believed that would be the frozen soda. Yeah, it looks like a Coke. That's what I kind of thought when I could see it.

I wasn't sure if it would be frozen Coke or Bovril, and I would probably have assumed that that was the Coke, like a 50-50 draw. Oh, God, That was so bad. Well, if you need to be warmed up, I know of a good drink you can have. Yeah, maybe next time. Next episode.

Stick that in the Keurig. Oh, my God. Well, that was amazing. Oh, Jesus. We still got four more to go. Yeah, I'll tell you what. I feel bad for you. Let me go ahead and... Why don't you go ahead and eat number six? then that'll that'll wash the taste out of your mouth

Okay This one's also frozen of apple juice That's gonna be refreshing mm-hmm There you go. That's cool. How the fuck? What a great game. I love Dodge the Boat. God damn. So you had a good time in Europe, Jeff? I did. I had a great game. I love Dodge the Boat. God damn. So you had a good time in Europe, Jeff?

I did. I had a great time in the UK. I did all the... It was Emily's first time going, so we did all the tourist stuff. And I did... Oh, my God! Have you guys ever seen a musical?

Oh, they're pretty cool. Are they? Yeah. I saw Phantom of the Opera because I found out that even though my girlfriend and I had been dating for almost five years, she had been harboring a secret that she had never, never admitted to me. And that secret was she is the world's largest Andrew Lloyd Webber fan, and she can sing every song from every Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. from every Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. So the second she found out we were going to London,

she got us tickets to see Phantom of the Opera, which I knew nothing about. Wow. Zero, zero about. And so now I know everything about it because I saw it. What is it, about a burn victim? Yeah, it's about a burn victim in a hospital ward. Yeah.

And they, no, it's about a phantom who lives in an opera house and haunts a play. But there's this giant chandelier. Whole thing's about a chandelier, basically. And that's a big moment. But at this theater, which is the theater that originally, it's like the, I don't know what it's called, like the Queen Victoria Theater or some shit. And it was, it's played there every day since like 1984. She bought this like $60 VIP experience. And because we were the only people who got that experience,

probably because the play's been out for 106 years, uh, they gave us an upgrade and there's a little room off to the side that was built for queen Victoria when she would go to plays. And then, uh, lady die apparently was a huge, uh,

phantom fan. And so that was the room she would hang out in. So we got to hang out in a little room off to the side by ourselves where it was like real gold on the walls and shit and I got to use the same toilet that Lady Diana used when she would go see Phantom of the Opera. Did you poo?

No, I just peed. I just peed. I don't want to be disrespectful to the crown so I just tinkered. But yeah, I just peed. I want to be disrespectful to the crown. So I just tinkered. Yeah, I have hung out in similar circles as British royalty now.

I've not seen a lot of musicals. I saw Cats and it was a boring piece of shit. Mamma Mia was better. A movie? The musical. Mamma Mia was better because it had ABBA songs, but that was about it. I can't do ABBA. Not an ABBA fan?

What's wrong with ABBA? I have a childhood memory associated to ABBA, and I just can't consume ABBA. I've avoided ABBA my whole life. I'm trying to think of what that could be. Go ahead. Yeah, would you like to guess? I'm willing to talk about it for sure. Do you want to guess?

You were at a wedding. Dancing Queen came on. No. Oh. No. It was, but there was a kid who threw a birthday party at school. Like he had his birthday party during class hours. How do you wrangle that?

And he was very musical. I don't know. But he pulled class hours and he was very musical i don't know but he pulled it off and he was very musical he loved he loved singing and he decided to do a rendition of abba's golden or what was it eyes the eye song pretty eyes golden eyes what's the abba song golden eyes angel eyes that's what i was looking at is that good i just they say angel eyes a lot that's all i remember about it but? I just, they say angel eyes a lot. That's all I remember about it. But they did a performance of angel eyes in front of the entire class, and it did not go well. It was one of the most awkward, uncomfortable things I've ever had to witness that I felt terrible about.

And because of that, whenever I hear ABBA, I immediately just go to that memory, and I just did awkward and uncomfortable. So I've not been able to enjoy. Mamma Mia might be tough for me. I've avoided Mamma Mia because of that. I don't know Angel Eyes by ABBA. I think somebody, it was Nick just posted a link to Angel Eyes. Yeah, it's, it's, uh, I don't know if it's a hit. I'm not familiar really with their catalog because of that experience.

But whenever I hear ABBA, i get taken back to grade four grade four or five watching this rendition of angel eyes and just cringing it did not go well we got to get you back into abba we got to get an abba redemption for you if you give me an abba i'm willing to try 10 all-time song what is a Oh, Fernando? Yeah. Fernando, yeah. Even that has been tainted. It's unfortunate that Abba's been tainted for me, but it's just I can't I can't get around it, or at least I haven't been able to yet. Great band, though.

Just I can't can't do it. I don't think I've ever seen does it count if you watch like a streamed musical? Like I went to the theater and watched a streamed version of company when cole bearer was i think the lead at that time but i've never been to like a proper musical like in the in in the place have you ever been to a musical jeff is this your first in-person music uh i've

been to a lot of theater in my life but i don't think i've ever been to a musical before yeah i can't imagine the circumstances that would have led me to see a musical by choice up until this moment so yeah i uh i this is my first time uh i've quite quite enjoyed it though that's great so you're now open to going to like more musicals you're gonna become a musical guy, potentially? No. No. For instance, regular fan Jack found out we were going to see Phantom of the Opera, and he said, Oh, that's great. I'm going to go see the Back to the Future musical tomorrow.

You should come with me. And I was like, it's not going to happen. So, no. I don't think so. I think it would be very specific. To share the experience with my girlfriend, and only a musical that she has vetted. I don't want to see pop.

That is. Yeah, that's fair. I also feel like it's a different thing. I'm more interested in seeing a musical that was crafted as a musical as opposed to anything that was adapted from a movie into a musical. It may be amazing, but it's just it's that I'm if I'm getting into musicals i want to hit like the the musical part first instead of yeah well to be fair i think phantom is a was a uh rendition of a old early 1900s movie that was based off a book but it's i mean i think that when you think of phantom of the opera you think of this play there are this musical this andrew lloyd weber absolutely it's synonymous with it so i think he he kind of owns that story at this point

um but i'll probably see like les mis like apparently my my girlfriend's big on that one Andrew Lloyd Webber. Absolutely. It's synonymous with it. So I think he kind of owns that story at this point. But I'll probably see like Les Mis. Like apparently my girlfriend's big on that one. So I'll probably have to have to sit through that at some point. That's not a bad one. I've only seen the movie,

but it was enjoyable. Yeah, I've seen none of it. So it'll be fresh for me. I saw the first half of the Gerard Butler Phantom of the Opera. I didn't finish it, though. I don't remember anything about it.

I walked out halfway through and went into Fat Albert that was playing at the time. That was much more my speed. I had a much better time at Fat Albert. Kenan Thompson's live-action Fat Albert. Kenan Thompson's going to be the most mentioned person on this podcast. I didn't even think about

that. I would imagine so, yeah. I wonder if somebody could go do and do a person count it'd be him coolio gets mentioned a lot oh we need to uh we need to guess another for the previously on guy that's a great point i had that in my notes do you two have uh any questions you would like to ask before making your guess seeing a lot of comment leavers say it's like caleb or drew saplin it's neither of them neither of those i don't i don't think i've ever heard this voice before it sounds like someone from the west coast okay i mean are you just stating that is that a question for me or okay you're just you're speaking out loud i sort of have forgotten the questions

i've already asked about yeah it's rough doing this every couple weeks uh all right gav you go first can i have an official question first i don't know what that means yeah of course you can ask a question and then you can make your guess what season of face are they a part of oh jesus christ you expect me to remember the catalog our absurd season system um we're in season four right now correct yeah uh huh i would assume that they were in season two okay okay pretty early on but i feel like season two went on a long time i feel like that's covering a lot of ground season three was what three episodes so uh i don't even think it, yeah. Is it Roadmaster 74?

I don't even, who is Roadmaster 74? I don't know. I remember Jeff saying it. No, it is not Roadmaster 74. Jeff, do you have any questions? I mean, I would like to know who Roadmaster 74 even fucking is and why I would have said that name. I only know that name because you were like, I'm going to say

Roadmaster 74. I'm going to keep saying his name, Roadmaster 74, and then you immediately got his name wrong the next time you mentioned it. Is it somebody who appeared on the F the face christmas album no okay oh were they in fluke face can't ask two questions you already asked you asked earlier remind me to ask that next time okay is it the person who because i can i can now ask so that was my question

now can i make my guess you can make your guess. I guess it's the person who played Gavin in the Fluke Face recording. That was a female voice? That was a Welsh woman. Yeah, so that's a no. That's a no on that one, but I appreciate your shot. Damn. I think you could argue that was the worst guess by far. I don't think there's...

Who's arguing? I was going to say, I feel like you asked the same question back to back or Gavin wasn't. There's something where you guys both asked the same question. I think that was worse than that. No, that was one when Nick asked the same. Okay, that's what it was. Yeah. Because Nick missed it.

I have a question. But while Gavin's asking that question, why don't you go ahead and eat the fourth pop? Oh, yeah, number four. Okay. Yeah, Jeff, while Andrew's eating that, you were a Game of Thrones fan, right? Yes, I was.

Yeah. Oh, no. How do you pronounce this name? Hold on. Oh, no. That's Anus targaryen oh no I don't remember that character from the show

I don't either but that's I'm pretty sure that's anus yeah George RR Martin was taking the piss yeah yeah well uh anus targaryen first of his name only of his name Only of Only of his name

Yeah it went According to this When Aegon Targaryen Anus Targaryen And then back to Aegon Targaryen So we have a problem His family tree is a mess Oh okay

I pulled it Is it the non-frozen? I pulled it That looks like sour cream that's all cream oh all the smell I just got hit with smell oh so scoop it out oh you're gonna have to spoon it I fucking hate you Gavin you're two for two on bad. Jeff picked that. Yeah, I picked that one. You did? I don't even... Okay, I apologize. I apologize.

You can still hate Gavin. That's fine. Okay, I guess I'll try to scoop it out. Oh, God. Okay. It's like soft serve salad cream. Is that Bats or a salad cream? Oh, is that batter? It could be batter, but I think it's salad cream oh is that batter I could be batter but it

looks like that's cream a pancake it's pancake batter thank you yeah that's probably quite yummy then oh the noise is a different oh this is, but it's not bad. Okay, where would you rate it? A one. So we've got nine, negative six, and one. Mm-hmm. This is gross, but it's not bad. Well, I would... The idea, once you mentally get past what you're doing, it's not the worst.

So Jeff's still picking your good ones then. Okay, that's a lot. You're welcome. We're not good. Never mind. I retract everything I said. This is horrible. Oh.

Is this the non-frozen one? No. Oh, that's the frozen one? So you have one and three left, or your final two. Okay. G gav why don't you take a guess one okay i i fucking hate you so much i i hate you this is the one that isn't frozen. So this has to be... This has to be salad cream.

Maybe it's like the oil content. Okay, pulling one. Oh! It's so gross! It's so gross! Two for two, baby! Thank you, Gavin. You're a good man.

Okay, I'm gonna take a photo of... On the bright side, it'll get that batter out of your mouth. I don't know if that's a positive. I think I'd rather have the batter. Oh! It looks like tapioca pudding. Oh, that's so bad. It's so translucent at the edges.

Oh, it's horrendous. That's the salad cream. That's hideous. Oh. When were these frozen? Uh, yesterday. So this has been- That's been frozen all night?

And it looks like that? That's been frozen all night. Oh, god. Okay, well, I guess I'm just gonna have some salad cream. Oh, god. Without your salad. okay well I guess I'm just gonna have some salad cream oh god without your salad I gotta go

oh should we end the process with him retching in the back? No, I don't think anyone's ever eaten those things in that order. No, that's a world first, right? Andrew Patton is the first person in the history of the planet Earth to eat those ingredients in that state, in that order. Congratulations. That deserves to be in the Guinness Book

of Gross Ass Records. And thank you. Oh, thank you for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. Hopefully as we outro, you can continue to hear the dulcet sounds of Andrew retching all over his bedroom. If you want to go ahead and leave us a review or a rating,

believe it or not, that shit matters and it helps. And as I found out in the UK, you know, there's like seven, a little over seven billion people on Earth, Gavin. Most of them don't listen to F*** Face. So if you have access to those 7 billion people, give them a gentle nudge. Let them know. We got

salad cream frozen bomb pops. We got Bovril hot and cold. We got apples. We got baseballs. We got whatever you want. We make content out of it. And Andrew, why don't you go ahead and play us out?

Hey guys, minor league fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. We still don't know who the previously on guy is. Let's talk about being John Malkovich. This podcast needs more shirts. Patton goes on a rant about people dying in movies. Will we find out the fate of Jeff's Cosmic Crisp? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face