F**kface - The New High Five // Who is the F**kface Superhero? [75]

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about the invention of the high five, putting fingers in eachother's mouths, the Smashing Sportsman, Phase 1 to Phase 2 pockets, and more. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/FACE) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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including free shipping, when you use code FACE14 at HelloFresh.com slash FACE14. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Is this F*** Face? Did we start? Yeah, I think we started. Welcome to F*** Face episode 74. There we go. It started. No, it's 75. 75.

Part two, act seven. Season three? Two? What season are we on? This is season two, year two, episode 75. How many episodes of season one and how many episodes are we into for season two? I don't expect anyone to actually know. I'm just kind of saying that.

Are we at the mid-season finale yet? That's the thing. Did you? So when I got Disney+, one of the most fascinating things was seeing how they did seasons for kid shows. There will be like 700 episodes in season one and then season two is six.

Like, I don't know how they decide that line. I feel like that's what we're doing. We'll have a million episodes in season three and season four will be four just break it up have it be completely uneven nonsensical which fits for the show yeah that's true speaking of fitting for the show uh does anybody have any fruit related content they wanted to throw out i don't but i will fruit it out we're all fruited out i i am equally fruited out but I do have a very serious question for Gavin. And I've talked to...

This just blew my mind. And I shouldn't even... When do you think the high five was invented, Gavin? You had to put a year on it. We did talk about this yesterday. What year? What year do you think the high five was invented? Oof.

600. The year 600? That's your guess? AD or BC? Yeah, that's another great question. AD. Who doesn't specify BC? So in your mind, assuming Jesus existed,

he existed in a world without a high five. Okay. mind assuming uh jesus existed he existed in a world without a high five okay just want to make sure oh so it's gonna be way earlier than that um i don't know i'm just curious well i feel like but people really tracking that in you know if it was 2500 bc would anyone be like I'm gonna high five today shit I have no okay I'm gonna reguess okay go ahead 10 you're so wrong you're so far off I thought you'd get closer on the second one

you got further and there wasn't a lot of room to get further away but you did i was watching so for context i was watching a playoff baseball game between the Houston Astros and the White Sox and The lucky Astros by the way fuck the Astros the announcers and like late in the game Just randomly throw it like oh yeah manager of the Astros Dusty Baker inventor of the high five Dusty Baker apparently invented the high five in 1977 Gavin

Absolutely, not that's invented the high five in 1977, Gavin. Absolutely not. That's the immediate reaction. The people were like storming Normandy before the high five. Yeah, the high five was not a popular thing. They were storming Normandy with no way to celebrate. They just, they did it. They got through and they were just like oh yay i guess they they just shook hands it was the low five now that's the thing the low five has been around since the 20s i believe

in the history research that i've done he's saying that no one before that has never just no no no no no no no no now that's that's another device a point now they're yeah dusty baker is the most common like inventor of it there are other documentations of high fives before that point but i don't think they were called the high five and i don't think it was like their thing it was maybe a thing they did once so he just named the high five no he didn't name it he i would argue they popular here i'm going to read you an excerpt of the first high five that happened, okay? The conventional wisdom has been that the origin

of the high five occurred between Dusty Baker and Glenn Burke of the LA Dodgers at Dodger Stadium, October 2nd, 1977. How did they both know how to do it? No, I'm getting to that. The last day of the regular season, in the sixth inning, Dusty Baker hit a home run off Houston Astros pitcher J.R. Richard.

It was Baker's 30th home run, making the Dodgers the first team in history to have four hitters with at least 30 home runs. It was a wild, triumphant moment and a good omen as the Dodgers headed to the playoffs. Burke waited on deck, thrust his hand enthusiastically over his head to greet his friend at the plate.

Baker, not knowing what to do smacked it in quotes his hand was up in the air and he was archway back says baker so i reached up and hit his hand it seemed like the thing to dare that is the origin he didn't know i've been left hanging in the year like 2020 no one had ever done a high five and he wasn't left hanging it blew my mind no there are other people like i've read a thing that apparently magic johnson also claims that he invented the high five in like 1978 there are different stories there are different origins there are different things he could point to but the most popularized version the most popularized invention or the person who invented it is Dusty Baker. Dusty Baker is credited as the high five guy.

I'm blown away. I was blown away. I was telling Andrew, it's kind of like how the mullet hairstyle has been around for a very, very long time. It was super popular in the 80s, but it wasn't called the mullet until the Beastie Boys did it in 1994.

I was in the army before the mullet became the mullet. And I would assume that was like a hundred years ago. So imagine the Beatles. They're all just got out of a car. There's a big crowd waiting for them. The crowd, they've all got their hands in the air. The Beatles just walk

by. Yeah. Not been invented yet. It's not a thing just walk by yeah they know not been invented yet it's not a thing that's yeah hasn't been invented yet nobody knows maybe maybe a low five maybe a low five very much invented popularized yeah better answers not the high five the high five is a relatively new creation i was way off you were way off and then you went even further away that was fantastic I was thinking of like schools. I was like, when was the first school? They're just low fives. Oh my God.

I can say something that y'all can't say. I am older than the high five. You are. Wow. What year did you say the Beastie Boys coined the term mullet? 1994. So I'm the same age as the mullet. You Beastie Boys coined the term mullet? 1994. So I'm the same age as the mullet.

You're the same age as the mullet, and I'm two years older than the high five. Yeah. I feel like if you said that, people would think, damn, he looks good for his age. If you're like, I'm two years older than the high five, nobody would assume. Like, you're 70? You look great for 70. What do you think the next thing will be then? So there's potentially going to be something in the future

more universal than the high five, but it hasn't happened yet. I mean, COVID has been a terrible thing for the high five. It has really hurt the popularity, I would assume. Here's what I think. I think that it provides, and this actually dovetails into something that I'm going to talk about later, but I think that there's, and this actually dovetails into something that I'm going to talk about later, but this, I think that there is, there's a market for the next thing.

And we've already identified that it wasn't that long ago that you could flip the world on its shoulders by slapping two hands together. So I think it's up to us to determine what the new high five is and to popularize it. It has to be simple. It has to be. It's up to us to determine what the new high five is and to popularize it. It has to be simple.

It has to be. It's got to be simple. When was that playground game invented where the kids would like, you know, you clap yourself and then you clap the other person's hand and you clap schoolgirls. Yeah, that was October 24th, 1967. Like, what do you fucking mean? When did it come out? Like, I was surely way before the high

five but they're high five and left and right in that no it's like a mid five a mid five that's a chest five that's a chest pass five yeah maybe that's what it is maybe maybe the chest five no maybe we popularize the mid five like our high five our high we've been flying a little too high the last the hubris alone the last 40 years or so like maybe we need to take it down a notch physically metaphorically metaphysically maybe we should start mid-fiving you know what i mean now do we need to do like it's back of the hand like two backs of the hands for the high five because i feel like it needs to mechanically be different than just a high five but then again the low five the high five same thing mechanically so maybe we

don't may I think maybe touching hands going forward is a problem because of germs and stuff who invented the fist bump that's what yeah I was gonna say I don't know who invented the fist bump I read Dusty Baker encouraging long distance high fives which I feel like you only say if you're the inventor of the high five

and you really want to yeah you're just it's a stretch the long distance high five is a stretch yeah who invented the fist bump i don't know it's a great question we just need to figure out what the next thing is people do elbow touches well i mean we're doing the jet ski one i'd love to see somebody do a home run and then do a jet ski five. We're definitely going to elevate the high five, but we need to be thinking of what the new high five is that then we can take credit for and popularize, right? Like Dusty Baker did.

Maybe it's like a knee knock. You just walk up and slap knees together. I don't know. I don't like that. Maybe a toe touch, but then that's how dudes find each other in bathrooms at the airport, so maybe that could be confusing. I don't know. I don't like that. Maybe a toe touch, but then that's how dudes find each other in bathrooms at the airport, so maybe that could be confusing. I don't know. Wait, what?

Oh, you don't know about that? Yeah, there have been a bunch of politicians that have gotten caught doing it in the past. It was a popular thing to do when it wasn't as... Well, for people that are closeted, or it wasn't as socially acceptable to be out and proud and gay, dudes sometimes would go into certain bathrooms and you would sit on the stall then you would like touch the foot or like stick your foot under the thing and then if the other guy touched

it then you would know that that and you were into the same stuff and then you could get to know each other yeah it was uh i think a senator or a congressman got caught doing it in the 90s early 2000s that just like a reporter taking a shit and then this book came on i think i think i think the i think somebody yeah i think something like that i just know that that's a thing that was was done so we well first off let's let's take it back for a minute what is a high what is the expression of a high five what are you trying to convey with a high five oh it's celebration right like celebration and excitement accomplishment somebody has achieved a good thing yeah because i typically i relate it to sports but it could be beyond that i think it's just so you're celebrating the act of someone you you could high five cooking good bread it

could be anything but so yeah so we we need to we need to find the new the 2021 to lead us into the future to lead to so that we're 2051 people are still doing it we need to find the new thing that's uh a way to express ourselves physically with another person that is simple and safe and doesn't transmit uh germs and diseases but is still super cool and hip and fun and maybe makes noise because if you do a good high five, there's a pretty awesome slap. The slap is so satisfying. That's my biggest issue with the long distance high five is the best part is that contact

doesn't work otherwise. I agree. I feel like this could be a great thing for the comment leaders to help figure out. They want to submit pitches like I feel like that could be a good move. Sounds like Jeff's already figured it out. Do you? Because I feel like what, so what, is it a mid-five? Is that what we're talking about? No, I don't think it's a mid-five.

I don't know what it is. I just think that you start at the beginning and you figure out what you're trying to do and then go from there. What we're trying to do is find a new way to celebrate an accomplishment or an exciting moment without being, living in the past or paying royalties to Dusty Baker. And it needs a sound.

Gotta have a sound. It's most likely contactless. That's another layer, too. I think we should have it be contactless. This covers everything. There's no scenario at that point where you couldn't do it. Can you guys do that thing where you put your finger in your mouth and go like this?

Can anyone else do that thing where you put your finger in your mouth and go like this? Maybe we do that. You just walk. Yeah, just walk. Next time you want a high five, just go at the same time. It makes a noise. Let's try not to spread germs. Hey, everyone put your finger in your mouth. And then fish rake it out.

Yeah, maybe that's not the best one. We'll put our fingers in each other's mouths. Well, that's not bad. That's interesting. If you can make that noise in someone else's mouth, I'd be very impressed. What's more impressive, eating an entire bar of 100% lit chocolate or whatever that was or

i think if you could first time put your finger in someone's mouth and make the pop sound that's way more impressive can i try on you uh oh well you gotta wash you gotta wash your finger first yeah i thought that that was assumed but let's's, yeah, we can discuss the ground rules ahead of time if you want to. But I assumed I would wash my hands. Oh, what if I put on a glove? What if I put on a rubber glove? Yeah, I think the extra grip might cause the noise to change, though. Hmm.

Well, we'll figure this out. We can cover this when we're in person throwing baseball. Imagine if we both put our fingers in each other's mouth and then got a double pop. At the same time. In a post-COVID world, we'll be the ultimate. I don't know if I've ever respected Gavin more than him. Jeff suggesting that he put a glove on to put hands in your mouth. And your response was, it might damage the sound.

It might break the integrity of the pop make this count we should also make sure we cut our fingernails oh that's another yeah yeah I'm honestly I'm so

up for trying that I am too I'm pretty excited about it to be honest I'm sitting here practicing so should we yeah i can talk about like one of the actual things we planned on talking about and not because we're like almost 20 minutes into dusty baker we talked about the high five why is that so funny to me i I don't know. It's pretty fucking funny. Andrew. Jeff. Andrew.

Jeff. A long time ago, you came to me. A long time ago now. It feels like six months ago. Yeah, at least. It was probably like three or four months ago. It's probably like three or four months. You came to me with something that you read that i thought was insane and then we started talking about it and i think we came up with a brilliant idea and then we teased it and then other important

apple related things got in the way and uh fast forward uh to like months of banana content later and here we are do you you want to explain what superheroes means and how it relates to face? So, yeah, so the superhero thing, it's really there is a an NPR podcast named Planet Money, and they tried this thing. They wanted to see if they could buy a superhero was essentially the idea.

And they couldn't like they couldn't get why. Why did they want to buy a superhero? Just to like representation of the thing, because like there's so many superheroes especially in the larger companies catalog and that you could essentially lease it out if you wanted to just having in a world in which franchises are important and superheroes are everywhere it couldn't be a bad thing to have your own superhero and there are so many available the question was could you acquire a superhero that nobody really knows about or cares about and it wouldn't it just was impossible they were unable to largely because

of groot groot is like the example of a character nobody gave a fuck about that disney now makes hundreds of millions of merchandise with right future so it's like it's just it's not worth whatever you'd buy for it we are in sort of an interesting position of roosterteeth's tie to dc we're in the inside already in a sense so the idea i guess at that time was if we could then since we're already on the inside could we get our own superhero well i i the idea being uh it was a response out of necessity because you thought oh it, it's cool, Planet Money is trying to essentially buy a superhero to be their new mascot or logo. But what I'm seeing, I'm seeing a troubling,

a really troubling trend. I've watched The Boys. I know where this goes. I'm seeing that Planet Money is now going to have a leg up on every other brand because they have a superhero to defend them. Sure. Not physically, of course.

Right. But we don't know that. I feel like if Planet Money and all these other entities are going to be out there hiring and buying superheroes to be their own ambassadors, F***face needs a superhero to defend us and defend our brand against these other brands. I feel like it's a necessity at this point no i completely agree and so i i said at that time it was months ago that we should all look we should all try to find the best dc character we could find that fits our idea it can't be a

popular character we're not going to be able to acquire batman we're not getting batman but what is like an obscure hard hard to find character? So that is a thing we all, I think, independently did, or at least I did. We talked about it. I feel like we should present our examples. OK, that's great. I'll say I went to the powers that be and I said, hey, we have this idea. We want to do this.

Can you talk to Warner Brothers and see if they'll give us a superhero? And they said, who's the superhero? And I said, well, we haven't gotten that yet. And they said, this is a stupid idea. And they're probably going to say no, but at least come back to us with a with a superhero so then we decided i sent out a link of lesser known uh superheroes and i thought we'd all go through and what was the plan to pick 10 each i think i think it was yeah like that seemed like a lot after i went through the list i have three yeah i have three and there's really one i believe in truly that i think is a perfect

encapsulation of this show it honestly makes me a little bit worried about your future jeff in a sense okay um okay i'm very excited about it i think there's a clear number one but i have three okay i know how many you guys have well why don't you go first okay i assume i'm the only one that did any research for this is my well i you shouldn't assume that but we've had months to do it on this we have I thought we're gonna do this I like crammed I mentioned like four episodes ago I cram homework so this is this is my

first one I don't think this is these are just some of them I just think are great I'm not saying we should pursue this there is a issue of a comic that is the gorilla wonder is strange sports stories the gorilla wonders of the diamond look at how happy that fucking monkey is sliding into the play it

just brings joy to my heart stealing a base I don't feel like they would be missing anything if we took the gorilla wonders of the diamonds I don't think that's a big loss for DC okay so gorilla wonders of

the diamond his name is gorilla wonders of the diamond it's a big loss for DC. Okay, so Gorilla Wonders of the Diamond. His name is Gorilla Wonders of the Diamond. It's a whole team. It's an entire baseball team of gorillas. So we're buying a gorilla-based baseball team. Yeah, it's all about these super smart gorillas that end up falling in love with baseball for no real reason, but they become obsessed with it,

and then they enter a league and they just dominate. They're the greatest baseball team in that league. Well, listen, in a world where we learned to skateboard from monkeys, I think this makes total sense. enter a league and they just dominate they're the greatest baseball team in that league well listen in a world where uh we learned to skateboard from monkeys i think this makes total sense it does now the second one and i just i personally this just makes me laugh and the character's name is the printer's devil he is in two issues of detective comics he's in 539 and 540. This is what he looks like. Essentially, this character, he's a sports writer. He's a sports columnist at the paper. And the paper is like, oh, we're going to sell our company.

And he's like, we can't have that. That could fuck everything up. So he buys a goat mask and a trident and he starts causing mischief. And he ends up canceling out the sale. That's his whole thing. He's just a guy with a goat mask and a trident and he's trying to spook the new owners. No, it's just, it's Tom.

It'd be like in Scooby-Doo they amassed him. Oh, it's Tom. He covers sports. He's our beat writer for the local team. His trident is a gun. It's a trident dart gun thing. It's not even real. It's just the corniest. He's just a guy. He's a guyident dart gun thing. Like it's not even real. It's just like the corniest. He's just he's a guy.

He's a guy that went to a Halloween store, bought a goat mask and a cape. He also got like a hoof boots. He's a disgruntled employee who stopped at the Spirit Halloween store. So this is we're on to the number one. This is I'm so excited about this. I've been sitting on this for a long time. The character's name. The character's name is the Smashing Sportsman

because we are a baseball show. He's in two issues of the Justice League, 55, 56. He is so unknown. This is literally the only image of him I could find online. And there's not much fanfare. That is all you can acquire.

What's his name? His name? Well, okay. So his villain name is the Smashing Sportsman. His character name is Marty Baxter. So let me just read the description of what the origin story of Marty Baxter is. I bought the issue of the comic because I had to just verify some of the things that they say. And I also have some photos of those to back it.

Marty Baxter's world came crashing down when he learned that he had arthritis we got a character with arthritis that is his great struggle the young baseball star now found it in quotes impossible to swing a bat and was absorbed in his problems as he sat in the stands watching the 1967 World Series that he'd otherwise been playing in. So this is a baseball player who cannot swing a bat anymore due to arthritis. I love this.

Now this is Jeff. Now this is where I'm worried about you. What I don't need to worry about is what happens is he's watching the game and then this fucking alien cube falls out of the sky and hits him in the back. He's struck in the back. Okay. Struck in the back by a black sphere.

Baxter leaped to his feet with a stunning discovery. In quotes, my arthritis pain gone. I feel like a new man bursting with power. His euphoria lasted only a moment before his resentment set in. The metal railing in front of Marty crumpled between his fingers as he lunged from the stands. I'll make the sports world pay for what they did to me. I'm going to smash down the stadium. To the astonished baseball players, he screamed, down with all sports.

So his whole thing is he was a baseball player who got arthritis, couldn't play anymore because of it,ets hit by an alien cube in the back. And then he, here we go. I'm going to send screenshots of the comic that I took. Do you have this comic? I bought it. Yes. Specifically to like confirm that's him ripping the railing off. And this is the black sphere.

This is him screaming at very confused baseball players down with all sports as he's ripping the railing off of the side of the thing so his whole deal is he hates sport he the villain he's not targeting people his entire mission is he's going city by city breaking stadiums so they can't play sports in them that's his whole deal that's how they track him down they're like where's the next stadium? Oh, it's two tiles over? How much time passed between that thing, Twat and him in the back,

and him ripping the railing off? Is it just immediate? Maybe six seconds. It is instant. He immediately is ripping the thing. That's the laziest Arshin story ever. So, if that was a movie, the stadium would be coming down and like the opening credits would

still be like the names of the people in the movie would still be on the screen did anybody ever claim ownership over the black sphere no uh i don't know about that i don't think so i think these were i don't think i think there were independent alien beings that represented themselves as spheres and then when they hit you, they powered you up, essentially, was the idea. So he gets hit in the back, and they're like, oh, fuck, this guy is destroying stadiums left and right. They cannot play sports because of this guy.

So Robin and some other character figure out what stadium he's going to be at, and they find him destroying the stadium. And then he just destroys them. He is super strong he can blow wind like he's a ridiculous character and he beats them up and is like ah maybe we ought to have a trade and i should join the justice league like they do in the big leagues like it's all weird like sports metaphors and so it's the whole thing is he breaks stadiums now how they defeat him is maybe even arguably more bizarre.

Uh, it turns out that the only weakness that these alien black spheres have is really shitty jokes, like really lame dad joke type jokes. And so they defeat the aliens by running to where they're hanging out. These guys, and they start cracking bad jokes at Marty Baxter, and he starts laughing, and the laughter

causes the alien's fear to float out of his body, and then they zap it with a taser, and it's gone. That's how they defeat the alien. They also make a very clear point that they are not going to arrest Marty Baxter, because he was possessed by the alien's fear. He is not liable

for the stadiums that he destroyed in between those two events. So was he, he didn't, he wasn't like down with all sports once the ball left? No. As soon as the ball left, he's just like, ah,

that was weird. Fucking, I broke like eight stadiums. Sorry about that. Don't arrest me. Don't put me in jail, please. That scene in Superman Return returns where he stops the

plane from like crashing into the baseball game and marty baxter's like oh man son of a bitch i love the idea of marty baxter being at that game and getting hit by the sphere and starts breaking it anyway man stops the jet the stadium gets destroyed so that is my 1A the smashing sportsman there's like no fanfare about him I don't think anyone knows he exists like as I said that is the only image of that guy I could find I think that's a fantastic selection

Andrew and a great nomination I think you did a wonderful job that is truly like I don't even know how you found that one. That is a very minor, minor character. I have three as well. Are you, if you're ready, I can do mine? I would love to hear them.

I'm gonna post them. I'm gonna do the same thing you did. I'm just gonna post them in the... Yeah, that's exactly right. Here's my three. I did this bit with your carts. Yeah, now here's what I... You just did my bidding. No carts yeah now here's what here's what I

here's what I'm doing I looked at this as a fantastic opportunity to show the difference between our three cultures I don't think we lean into enough the idea that you're a Canadian and I'm an American and Gavin is British as far as we know and though we're all similar and we're all

friends we all come from different places, different worlds. We've had different experiences. Different ages. Different ages. We're different cultures. So I thought this was a great opportunity to show the difference between our three cultures because as soon as we had the idea,

I knew that you, as a Canadian, were going to say you would do the job and then do the job and be happy and excited about it. And I knew that as a British person, we assume, Gavin would take one look at it, decide I'm not going to do about that, and then ignore it until the moment it's time to do it. And then when we do the podcast, he would go, what? Huh? I don't know. Which I'm assuming he will be filling in very soon with, which I can't wait. And then I, as an American, did the American thing,

which is I copied off of your work, and then I'm taking credit for it. I'm okay with this. This is fine. And that's the difference between our three cultures. And it's not that I didn't want to do the work. It's that I wanted to highlight that because I thought it was a great opportunity

to show how similar but different we all are. Gavin, do you have your three ready? Yeah, just posted them. You know, I've been in America a long time. I'm basically an American now. So what's happened is Gavin has posted mine, which looks strikingly similar to Andrew's.

I think the Smashing Sportsmanman is perfect that's such a good one that's the dumb that's so stupid i didn't realize like i knew there were some dumb superheroes but that one is like it was that written on like a napkin like what who what was the long was it just meant to be a very temporary character yeah it was very like clearly i mean he's not even it's like technically he's just a a physical shell for the alien sphere like marty baxter is just a guy that has arthritis is his character um never seen again after that no he has two appearances and that's it and it's brief and like there's no well eric posted a picture of him getting punched in the face it's probably from the same comic.

Oh, that's like the cover of the comic, I believe. Oh. And who's punching him? Is that Robin, I'm assuming? Robin dressed as Batman? Well, it's the big R on his chest. Bat-Robin. Bat-Robin.

Yeah. Oh, no, it looks like Wonder Woman fell and hit her head, bonked her head. It seems to me like we need to begin a campaign now to convince DC to sell or give us the Smashing Sportsman. He seems perfect. He is perfect. And it was literally the first one I looked at.

I was trying to pull it up and I accidentally came on that one. And then I spent the next like five or six hours reading every single one on the list and none compared. When did he come up with his name? The Smashing Sportsman? Was it after the first stadium? I think so. Or was it right after the railing?

I think it's immediate. I don't know when. I don't think there's a time in which he... I wonder if it was even him coming up with the name or if it was the Alien Sphere coming up with the name or if it was the alien sphere coming up with the name it's another great question it's like where did he begin and the sphere end man I'm fucking jazzed

I think that face could do a lot worse than being officially protected by the smashing sportsman he seems like the perfect he seems like the perfect brand defender that's what makes me worried about it with you, Jeff, is he's a character with arthritis who can no longer swing a bat because of it. You have the arthritis.

You're going to attempt to swing a bat. I'm very nervous that we are one alien sphere away from you becoming the Smashing Sportsman. We'll put a net over the top of him. I go out every day and pray to get hit in the back with a black alien sphere, and it doesn't happen. So if, if,

if one day my prayers are answered, look out world. It's just such a weird thing to turn against. It'd be like if Peter Parker got bit by the spider and then he just decided to kill all bus drivers because the bus drove off with it. Cause it's the first thing he saw. As a baseball podcast, I think it fits perfectly with us.

I would love to hear what the comment leavers have to think about it. Absolutely. I don't think we're a baseball podcast anymore. I think we're a fruit podcast. I'm okay with that, as long as it's apple. Not bullshit like banana. Apple the fruit fruit not the product once again important clarification yeah sorry i was not paying attention

oh man that was fucking great what is hello fresh oh my god i got that answer it answer. It's an awesome pre-proportioned ingredients and seasonal recipes, but they're delivered. They're not at a restaurant or at a store, although at some point maybe they are in their life cycle. I don't know. I don't know where they originate, but the thing is they end up in your house,

delivered right to your doorstep. And you can skip trips to the grocery store because you can count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. They call that the C-E-F-A's, cooking easy, fun, and affordables. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. The holidays can be hectic, ad reads can be hectic, but HelloFresh keeps things simple and clean with recipes and ingredients that cut out grocery shopping and limit meal prep time so you can spend more of the festive season being festive with

your festive friends and your festive family having a festive old festivus. Hello, Fresh offers 50 menu and market items to choose from every festive week, including vegetarian options that are festive, calorie smart options, you guessed it, festive, and gourmet options. I have no idea whether they are festive or not. They provide plenty of variety, though, I'll tell you that. Also, these ingredients travel from the farm to your door within a week and with a smile on. They're happy when they get there because they know they're going to be eaten quickly. And put to good use, making people happy and providing nutrients to their bodies. And you get all this convenience without skimping on the quality. We talked about it.

They're fantastic. And they're festive. Let's not forget about that. So go to HelloFresh.com slash Face14 and use code Face14 for up to 14 free meals and three free gifts. Man, the three threw me after saying 14 a thousand times. I'll repeat the offer. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Face14 and use code Face14 for up to 14 free meals and 3 free gifts. It is highly encouraged to voice the following HelloFresh tagline, America's number one meal kit. Advertiser, HelloTushy.

Show, FACE. Promo code, HelloTushy.com slash FACE for 10% off. HelloTushy, the modern bidet company, washes away even the messiest of poops, leaving you with a better clean than toilet paper, which will scratch your sensitive butthole all to hell. I know from experience. I have had quite a few

toilet-centric difficulties in my life. You've heard me talk about them in and out of podcasts and other content. As I go in and out of the bathroom, it's been a myriad of issues my entire life until I discovered the Hello Tushy and treated myself to a clean, but clean enough to sit on a couch naked if I chose to do so. I would not. I am not a nudist. I'm fairly modest. Typically don't sit anywhere naked.

I even wear sometimes full clothes to bed. But I'm not like a never nude. I do shower naked. But I'm not crazy about being naked. However, my butt is so clean that if I wanted to, I could. I could sit anywhere. I could sit anywhere in the house I wanted to with my butthole. And it wouldn't matter.

It wouldn't know. Nobody would know. It's just clean and fresh. That's all you got to worry about here. Hello Tushy is the modern bidet for people who poop. Just poop, wash, and pat dry. The Hello Tushy bidet features, in this priority order, a clean bum with water washing you for a better clean than toilet paper. We talked about that. Washing with water is less irritating and more soothing for your butthole. It is easy to install. I am not a technologically minded guy, and even I am able to do it. It attaches to the toilet in under 10 minutes with no electricity or plumbing needed.

Those are two things I'm not qualified to touch. Using a tushy bidet reduces your toilet paper by up to 80%, saving you money in the paper department. It is also eco-friendly and stylish. Yeah, it looks like a Tesla, kind of. Or maybe like a Lamborghini. It's like the Lamborghini or the Ferrari of bidet attachments. It is very sleek, very modern, very fancy. So start washing with a Hello Tushy bidet for a better clean.

Go to hellotushy.com slash face to get 10% off, plus free shipping. This is a special order for our listeners at hellotushy.com slash face for 10% off. And after you buy and install your Hello Tushy, show it off, tag us, and at hellotushy on Instagram. We are at F*** Face Pod. So what did you want to touch on, Jeff?

You had a huge list, apparently. Oh, yeah, so, well... The uniform innovation. pod so what did you want to touch on jeff you had you had a huge list apparently oh you're on well the the uniform innovation yeah we're down we're down to just that i think actually perfect and uh so when i was in florida last week uh as always my body was in florida on the other podcast but my mind and my heart and my brain were back here uh with you guys uh trying to come up with ideas for face and uh in that process i actually had a really good conversation with minor league fan jack and then producer ben uh who's honestly in a league of his own uh he really we should just call him league of

his own ben uh he's he's very he's he's really great uh it really stands out next to minor league fan jack let me tell you after spending four days with those two uh anyway and in that process they were actually super super helpful they they uh i don't know where their ideas begin and end and my you know what it was just like a long conversation but i want to i want to give them huge props uh because they were instrumental uh in the evolution of this idea that i feel like you're going against literally what you said america does you as the american move you should have just solely taken credit for it. This is your genius. Yeah, maybe I'm not

the best American. I'm trying, you know? Okay. That was a great opportunity to illustrate the difference between our cultures, but on a personal level, I strive to be better.

So, anyway, the world was turned on its head the day that Beef Br beef bracelet came out. I think we all can agree with that. I think that nobody saw it coming. It smacked us all, flipped our brains around, changed the way we think about things, made everybody's life better. And then we thought we were good, but we didn't rest there. We immediately, not immediately, but with the appropriate amount of R&D time,

we hit them with our sophomore release. Too spicy, icy, right? Nobody saw it coming. Totally different lane. A lot of symmetry between the products. Totally makes sense. Uniform, which, by the way, Uniform, providing, combining the power of one with the fabric of the farm,

Uniform, can easily produce both products. It makes total sense. So I've been thinking since then, because I'll be honest with you, people are chomping at the bit. They're knocking on my door like, Jeff, what's the next Too Spicy Icy?

We want the next thing. I had somebody in Florida at a community meetup offer to help fund the Too Spicy Icy. And I'm like, I appreciate that, sir, but that project is well on its way. Let's look to the future and what the next thing is. And I'm like, I appreciate that, sir, but that project is well on its way. Let's look to the future and what the next thing is. And in this process, I found that I felt

a profound responsibility to create the next great thing. And that's not a good place to be when you want to create, right? Desperation isn't the best place to be when you're trying to invent. You don't want that pressure. Some people thrive under it,

but I find it's best just to kind of let it work itself out. I was having that conversation with Jack and Ben, you know, talking about how frustrating it is and how I just feel this unrelenting pressure and I didn't think I'd be able to come up with anything for a while. Then I read an article that changed my life. Did you guys know?

And by the way, this is going to be phase one. I'll go ahead and say this right now. This is phase one of this project okay did you guys know that until 19 well i don't know the year until about 1914 until about 1914 in world war one people didn't wear wristwatches yeah are you familiar with that yeah people had pocket watches wrist watches were considered garish uh they were also considered feminine uh some people that did wear them were women so it was considered like not manly to wear one and this was uh this was in you know the these were very uh different times back then right uh and that kind of thing mattered to people

more i guess and it wasn't until world war one that when soldiers realized they didn't have time to be fishing around in their pockets for their pocket watch to see what time it was, they started wearing wristwatches and it changed the world. Even though this is 1914 to 1918, right? Even though fucking Patek Philippe in 1868, a Swiss watch manufacturer, invented the first wristwatch for Countess Koskowitz of Hungary, right? So in 1868, the wristwatch is invented and brought out to the world, introduced to the world.

And it's not until 60 years later that it rises in popularity. Fast forward to 2021. Do you guys realize that the global luxury watch market is estimated at $7.18 billion and that by 2025, it's expected to reach $9.28 billion. Think about that. That is $9 billion of wealth that will be generated in one year, 75 years after the, or 100 years after the first dude decided, I should put this stupid watch on my wrist

so I don't have to keep fishing around in my pocket. That's insane. There's a clear, there's a future for this. Like it's going to continue to grow. What I'm saying, what I'm saying is there is a clear, there's a future for this. Like it's going to continue. What I'm saying, what I'm saying is there is a tremendous opportunity for us to look at what's in our pockets and put it on our wrist. Think about it.

What are people? I've been doing research. I've been doing tons of, believe it or not, there's a ton of research on what people carry in their pockets. Here's a few of the most common things. Wallets, pins, keys, candy, snacks.

We've covered that, of course. Loose change, dollars. Koozies. Phone, comb, mints and gum, headphones, lighter, chapstick, lipstick, makeup, knives, flashlights. All we got to do is put any one of those things on our fucking wrist and then popularize it, and we will make $9 billion in 2025. It's no sillier than what they did in World War I. Why not a wrist comb?

Why not wrist keys? Why not like key gloves? Why not like Wolver keys? You hit a button and they extract out of your fingers. I don't know, but what about Edward Locksmith hands, right? There's all kinds of stuff we could do. I'm a big fan of the Swiss Army wrist I think it should be a versatile

product as like 20 different things and my girlfriend brought up to me she was like the wrist wallets already exist wristlets exist that kind of stuff exists and I'm like yeah but the fucking wristwatch existed for 65 years before somebody realized oh this thing is awesome as dicks

let's fucking use it. And now it's making billions of dollars a year. I'm telling you- Wrist keys exist. If you go swimming. Wrist keys, but we need to popularize them. It's not about that. It's okay that they already exist

because they're not popular yet. I've seen the wrist phone cases exist too, like little Pip Boys people could put, but it takes the right group of people to look at it, see the need boys people could put, but it takes the right group of people to look at it, see the need, see the potential, and then, then fucking pounce on that potential and boom, hit a thousand baseballs to the moon of success. And that's what I think we should do. Okay. So phase one is we find stuff that we can take from our pockets and put it on a wrist. I already even

looked, I put it in the face subreddit and then I took it out. I didn't want you guys to see it. These already exist. Slap wrist, like slap bands, that are also pins. Perfect. They exist. You didn't know that.

I didn't know that because they're not popular yet. Pins? But we can make our own. Yeah, like, you know, writing pin? A writing pin? Slap band writing pin.

I thought you meant like pins. Yeah, so you don't need to carry a pin around anymore. A pen. Slap band on your wrist. Yeah, I heard pins. P-E-N. P-E-N.

Pins. It's just one idea. People from the South say it the same. Pin, pin. I am from the South, though. So maybe I do. Anyway, so like wrist pins, right? That's one thing we could do tomorrow.

So what I'm presenting to you guys isn't necessarily a product. It's an idea for a suite of products. If anything, it's an idea for a revolution. I mean, am I writing with my wrist or am I just pulling a pen out of it? You pull it off and then you can write with it and then you slap it back down. Or who knows?

Because we can invent things too. I'm just saying that exists. We can buy it. We can put our logo on it. We can change it around. We can improve upon it, right? They had to improve upon the wristwatch, by the way. It used to have to have, in those days,

it used to have to have a guard around the top of it because they had to protect the crystal and they were scared that it would break and glass was very hard to come by. So they had these like metal things that covered and then they just had holes where you could see the hours. And then we improved upon that and now you have a fully faced glass wristwatch.

We can improve upon these things that already exist And then we improved upon that, and now you have a fully-faced glass wristwatch. We can improve upon these things that already exist as we popularize them and help usher wrist entertainment, wrist convenience into the 21st century. We need to drag it into the 21st century like they drug watches into the 20th century. I would have never guessed that the handshake came out after the wristwatch. That's one of my takeaways

from this. I like where your head is at. Do we have to rank what is most important to us? I think we just think about what would do well. Like I said, I'm not presenting you necessarily a... The pen, the slap band pen is an idea that I had and I looked and it exists

and we can work on that. I would more just present to you the idea that start thinking in I looked and it exists and we can work on that. But I would more just present to you the idea that start thinking in this direction. What how could face revolutionize people's wrists? We already did it once with wrist with beef bracelet. Obviously, everybody knows that. But with the help of uniform uniform combining the power of one with the fabric of the farm uniform, we can there's almost nothing we can't do. You know what I mean? Do we still need to have a wrist bracelet if we're doing this? We could.

We could do whatever you want. Okay, I'm just curious if this is replacing, if this is like an innovation on the beef bracelet or if this is... It could. We could further innovate

the beef bracelet. We could make it a part of this. It could maintain its own thing, maintain its own identity. I'm open to all possibilities because I'm just, I'm seeing, I'm just seeing untapped potential. And I don't think anyone is better positioned than face to jump, to pounce on that potential. And we will all be billionaires this time by 2025 if we do it

properly. And then after we spend a couple, maybe, I don't know how long, how much time it's going to take for us to go through phase one. But then, then my friends, then we enter into phase two. Are you ready for phase two? Are you excited about phase two? Do you think you can handle phase two? I'm ready for it. I hope I can. Okay. What have we, what have we been doing? What have we been doing all through phase one, which is a useful phase. It's going to be a financially beneficial phase for us. We're all going to be very happy that we went through it. What are we going to do when we get to phase two?

I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to eliminate damn near everything we did in phase one because we're going to eliminate the very pocket itself. We don't need it. It's bullshit. I've lived with women most of my life. They hate their pockets because they're tiny and useless and oftentimes sewed together.

It's not fair that men have big pockets and women have small pockets. And also, I will go so far as to say I've been thinking about this a lot. The back pocket is a goddamn atrocity. We need to get rid of it because that thing is a menace. Think about this, men. What do you put in your

back pocket? You put your wallet in your back pocket. What's in your wallet? Everything you own that you can't possibly leave home without. And where do you put it? On the one spot of your body that you don't have eyes on? You got no coverage on? You can't see back there? That's the dumbest thing ever. It's like, here's everything that's important and valuable to me. I'm going to stick it on my ass and show everybody but me. I hate it. We need to get rid of pockets. And by doing that, what we will do is we will migrate the very pocket to the wrist.

Think of a big floppy pocket just hanging from your wrist. Throw your keys in there. You can see your keys. Throw your wallet in there. You got eyes on it at all times. It's in front of you. It's a lot harder to pick a hand than it is to pick a butt. You've invented the purse without a strap.

I have invented the wrist pocket. The purse exists. The wristlet exists. All of these things exist. Don't... Eliminate the word invent from your brain right now. We're not talking about inventing. I'm imagining like... We're talking about revolutionizing.

We're talking about revolutionizing. We're talking about popularizing. We're talking about taking things that may exist already, but making them better and more prevalent so that the larger world sees them through the eyes, through the lens, with the possibility that we do, so that we then incent them to want these products to improve their lives. And then, it's not a product at that point.

It's a whole goddamn movement. We're changing the world. We're going to get rid of pockets in phase two. Phase one, we're going to improve wrists. Phase two, we're getting rid of pockets. And phase three, we're all buying boats

and fucking high-fiving off super yachts. I love it. I'm a big fan of this. I will have kind of an idea in my mind already. I think I'll have a prototype next time we record. I'm imagining an idea. I love it. Like a horse feedback for my hat.

Yeah, maybe. If that's what it could look like, yeah. I am all about the convenience and hands-free of things. Like, it's a big... One of my great struggles... Maybe the uniform could maybe branch onto this i really wish that goggles were a popularized form of glasses i cannot stand i should have the worst long distance vision i have glasses never wear them don't like the feel of it

on my nose they're always sliding down always uncomfortable i wish i could live in a world where i could just strap some goggles on and i'm good to go if it if goggles were popular my vision would be substantially better a day-to-day life your nose indestructible but can't hold up a pair of glasses it cannot it's too i'm telling you it's too slippery it bobs and weaves it not even glasses can stay on it just put some grip on the glasses like grip tape oh yeah then he Then he looks like a 1950s shop teacher. No, I get it. At that point, I'm just putting on goggles. Also, you know what?

You know what, Andrew? It's 2021. We are living in the fucking future. What's more futuristic than goggles? I'm not even talking like cool futuristic, like whatever you see a basketball player with goggles. Like I'm always like, I wish that was a look that was just acceptable.

I wish that was a popularized form of it. Or like the pool like when you put pool goggles on i wish those for glasses existed i wish that was just a thing i don't they're always sliding so i don't wear them yeah but you can't have bad peripheral vision with there's a reason it's just right in front on glasses i will i will take a hit on my peripheral vision in exchange for them not sliding and not having to ever think about them. They're just locked in. that problem, then not only can Andrew enjoy these goggles, but everybody can. Maybe every kid in high school will be wearing face goggles this time 2025. I don't know, but I love it. I love the way it's going. And from what I can tell from Eric's comments in the Discord, he's on board as well. I think the most useful place for a magnetic implant would be around the eyes. So you could just magnet glasses onto the front of your face i love that idea i like the idea i don't want them to put anything near my eyes i don't want

any like a tad just it's scary it's a scary place just under the eyebrows nah no i don't want any machinery going in there i don't want i don't trust machinery just like a thin magnet yeah magnet. Yeah, but they're going to have to do a surgical procedure. Oh. What was that? I ran out of liquid. I'm good. I'm good. He got scared of the magnets. I was

talking and my mouth just suddenly went very dry. I'm good. So there you go, guys. I don't have a new product for us, but I have a vision of where we can go. I feel like you just said like seven different products. I think you have plenty of products for us. Yeah, but I mean, I don't have like,

I don't know, I gave jumping off points, right? But I don't have materials prepared for you guys. I don't have logos and commercials and not like I usually come, You know, like with a product ready for you to buy. I just have more of an idea of where we could take this. I feel like the last place I want more clutter is around my

hands area. Yeah, that's what people said before World War I. I'm excited. I have a prototype in mind. I don't know if you have any ideas, Gavin, but I immediately just have a thought. I could certainly come up with something for the next episode. I would love to have my phone

permanently on the side of my wrist, kind of like where quarterbacks put their plays, you know, where they pop it up and they look at their plays and they shut the thing. I would love to have my phone there and I could just like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

It would be so cool. I, yeah. I like where your head the thing. I would love to have my phone there and I could just like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. It would be so cool. I, yeah. I like where your head is at. I honestly, this is more grounded than I was anticipating. I could see a world where this exists. I spent a lot of time in a hotel room on my back with nothing to do

but browse the internet for fake products. So. I think it'll be interesting to see what we value for our pockets. What things do we want brought to the front? I guess it's all of it, right? Is what you're saying? Because phase two is the destruction of pockets.

So really, we can't have anything in there. Well, not to destroy them, but to render them useless to the degree that you can use that pocket if you need to. But everybody else is going to be using wrist pockets at this point. So you'll be you'll be you won't be in vogue anymore, you know. Wrist pockets. Have you ever been outside sweating in the heat and you have to then go somewhere that requires a mask

and you realize your mask has been in your back pocket and you've been sat sweating on it for the last two hours? No, because I usually hang my mask around my wrist. Oh, so you're already putting the wrist to... I already wrist my mask. I didn't even think about it until you said that, but that's exactly how I... I'm already doing this in practice. Holy shit.

Are you really wristing your masks already? I always wrist my mask. I've been doing it since day one. I can't... Okay, you're... Jeff is a wrist guy, is what I've learned. Yeah, I hate the since day one. I can't. OK, you're Jeff is a wrist guy is what I've learned. Yeah, I hate the feeling of that. I can't get get shit off my arms. Yeah, I don't know, man.

I started wearing watches and it really it's really and then it's really opened up my love of wrist stuff. And I think that there's a lot of I think a lot of people feel the same. Well, I feel like let's let's just explore because I agree with you. I have no issue with the wrist. Where would you like it to be gavin like what is is there a different part of the body that would be more ideal than the wrist to hold a mask to hold whatever it just seemed like you didn't like things around your wrist generally speaking is how i interpreted that comment where would where would the ideal place be if if not the wrist? Maybe my back.

Are we just making a backpack at this point? Like, what type of... Imagine a backpack, except it's in the shirt. It's like a big, a big old pocket. A big pocket on the back of a t-shirt that I could just, like, stick an iPad in or something. Yeah, I like this. I feel like that's very specific, because what you're going to sit down,

it's going to stab you immediately, whatever you got back there. It'd be kind of like how Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow have their swords crossed on the back, but instead it's like a laptop and an iPad. Or like a pocket that could fit a water bottle in it or something. Just something where it's like, I don't want to take the bag with me,

but if I just have my water bottle and I just sort of slot it into my back like a sword, like I'm sheathing a sword behind my back, and I pull it out when I get to work. Class. I mean, I think this is exactly where we need to be. Thinking like this. Take a step back and think of it this way.

Why are pockets where they are? Because the first person who put a pocket put it there. And then we all went, oh, okay, I guess that's where pockets go. And then you put a pocket there because the last guy put a pocket put it there. And then we all went, oh, okay, I guess that's where pockets go. And then you put a pocket there because the last guy put a pocket there and the person before that put a pocket there. And so for hundreds of years we've all had pockets where they are because we're just fucking sheep. We're just

sheeping our way through pocket town, right? No, I feel like people have adventured with the pocket. There's sleeve pockets, there's chest pockets. I feel like people don't use them. Nah, people don't use them because they haven't cracked the code yet. People didn't use wrist watches till the need and the benefit was shown to them. And then they became a symbol of masculinity. They became a symbol of patriotism. And then everybody wanted to wear them. That's

all we need to do. We need to find our World War I pocket watch. That's all we got to do. I really like the idea of more pockets. I know we're supposed to get rid of them, but if somebody had like a clown's car worth of items and hidden pockets, that's just a great... That's hilarious. I guess I don't want to eliminate the pocket. I just want to eliminate its

intransigence in where it lives. I want to liberate the pocket. You know what I mean? I see. I want the pocket to move for you. I don't want you to put your shit in a pocket that is put there because of hundreds of years of people following in line and not thinking outside the box,

not looking up, just looking at their feet and shuffling forward through fashion, not even daring to look left or right and innovate. I want us to innovate. I want the pocket to go where you want the pocket to go. It's like I said a long time ago, you're talking about the mindset of always punting on fourth down. People do it because that's what people do, not because it necessarily makes sense.

You want your questioning. Not because it makes sense. Yeah. We need a culture change of not always going for the pocket. Yeah. And that's where bold people make bold decisions and find bold successes. Is the product called bold? Like I,

and I felt very specific. I'm just saying, like what? I'm just, no, I don't know. I'm just saying like, that's how I think this is.

This could be a huge untapped potential future for face, a division of fluke face, a division of, of uniform, uniform, combining the power ofke Face, a division of Uniform. Uniform. Combining the power of one with the fabric of the farm. Uniform. You know what I'm saying. So, I just, I think we would be remiss. I think we'd be

a tremendous wasted opportunity. Also, to cement F*** Face in the social, the permanent social fabric of the world. We're already going to reinvent the high five right what better way to follow it up than to reinvent the pocket and the wrist it's the very wrist itself i like it i'm gonna have a prototype or at least i'll try to next time we

record i have an idea i'll have one too but we might not get to it because of all the chocolate andrew's gonna eat oh no that's no. That's going to be easy. I'm going to be on my victory line. Well, I guess, fuck, when is, what day is next Wednesday? 27th? What date? Or no, I guess Thursday.

We'll record next week, right? We'll record Thursday, yeah. Yeah. So that'll be one day before I out nugget the nuts. That's before Nug Day. Yeah. So the chocolate could lead in.

Also, banana, there's a lot of food stuff lined up. It's basically two food stuff there's a lot of food stuff lined up that i we didn't see coming an hour and a half ago absolutely not we're a food podcast are you okay with us being a food podcast eric as opposed to baseball i feel like you kind of didn't like the idea of us being a baseball podcast it didn't feel like we ever embraced fully the baseball podcast because Jeff wouldn't throw the ball. So now I feel like you're embracing the food, embracing nuggets, embracing chocolate,

being anti-banana but pro-apple weirdly. I mean, I'm fine with being. I only produce food podcasts at this point, so yeah, that's fine. Hey, Eric. Can I ask you a question while you're here? Yeah, what's up? Do you have anything in your pockets right now? No, I just put on shorts and I don't have anything in my pockets while I'm sitting at

my desk. If you were going to leave the house, what do you think you would throw in your pockets to leave? I would grab my keys, my phone, my wallet, my mask, maybe a chapstick and put it in the little chapstick part of my, you know, like there's like a little tiny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, where the iPod Nano goes. Yeah, that's where the iPod Nano goes.

But until I charge that and get it working from 2007, I will just put a chapstick there instead. Those are kind of all of my go-tos, I suppose, for what I would need for my pockets. Okay. That's very helpful. Thank you. I can see a world where all of those things live on a wrist easily. I mean, I'm all for what you're talking about here with the wrist pack and everything. I know a lot of professional wrestlers who wear, unironically, wear fanny packs everywhere,

all the time, constantly, and swear by them. Swear up and dead, just like, I didn't think they would be that helpful, and I'd never leave without my fanny pack. They don't have anything in their pockets. Everything is in the fanny pack. I've never tried one. So this is doable.

I'm not a fan of the fanny pack, but I am a fan of the idea of like, I realize there's some adjacency to what we're doing here. And that's why I believe in uniform. Thank you for believing in uniform. Uniform. Combining the power of one

with the fabric of the form, uniform. Okay, well, that's great. I think there's a lot of, I think keys alone, there's a lot of opportunity. I can't wait for the magnet approach of this and it being too powerful and your wrist getting stuck together. That is what I'm very,

I was making a note. I'm just making notes of what prototype I want to make. And I just found an old, I found a picture. I think I showed this to Jeff. Andrew, what do you think is happening in this picture? Oh, I'm excited.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay. It's like the worst Spike Jonze video. Or like Michelle Goddard. We're in somebody's mouth. Is that Jeff I think this is Jeff I would have assumed Jeff's mouth

no it looks like I'm in the photo it does but it's so I just assumed it's not the people in the background Jeff is not what you immediately notice when looking at this photo this Andrew, is a

a nice this might be the only one in existence. A nice picture of Jeff and myself taken from inside minor league fan Jack's mouth. Oh, that's horrendous. Why? We'll have to ask him if he's okay.

But I don't think I've ever seen a picture of people from inside someone's mouth before yeah it's like it's like tongue pov it's like yeah it's about the camera on jack's tongue what he's talking this is this could be the new instagram craze inside the mouth portraits i love this i would love to see more of these it was basically we're in australia having lunch think, and I had my 360 camera out and Jack just walked up. He arrived late because we left without him.

So we had to get a separate Uber. And then he just walked up while I had that and he just put my camera in his mouth for like one second. But because it's 360, I then went into the file and it was originally pointed at the back of his throat, but I just spun it around and you can see out of his mouth. It's so disgusting. It looks so wet in there.

It looks like that Cortana level in Halo. It looks dirty. How many bites does it take for that mouth to eat a nugget is what I want to know. We need to do measurements. I think it's more like how many nuggets can that mouth to eat a nugget? Is what I want to know. We need to do measurements. I think it's more like how many nuggets can that bite eat in one? Can that mouth eat in one bite?

It looks not safe for work. No, it looks like alien. There's like a very alien vibe to this. You never see behind someone's teeth and lips. No. Very rarely. Outside of video games. I feel like that's always the classic, like, oh, I've morphed into a character let me like see through their face i just like oh there's a there's a picture

of two-thirds of this podcast from inside jack's mouth i don't think you could identify somebody from the inside of their mouse i don't like without contact do you think a dentist could i bet a dentist could i think a dentist probably, but I don't want to know that about somebody. I don't want to ever be at a level where someone would be like, oh, imagine if I fucking knew that was Jack's mouth. What a crazy fool that would have been. Imagine if I would have been like,

yeah, it looks like Jack's mouth. I'd recognize that fourth tooth from the left anywhere. Eric's not a fan of the lips. There's something about seeing the teeth in the top of the roof of the mouth that's like, oh, that's gross. For some reason about seeing the teeth in like the top of like the roof of the mouth that's like oh that's gross for some reason seeing the lips over the teeth but they're the inside of the lips is so like it really i put in the chat this it looks like a cronenberg film it looks like long live the new flesh like disgusting The Fly level shit.

I don't like this. I keep looking at it because I can't look away. I want to see a zombie movie entirely from this perspective of just one zombie, just the worst. Be terrible. I think that's a great comp, Eric. It definitely feels very Videodrome-esque. I think maybe if we ever

All together at RTX We should take and we do a panel we should take a picture Of the entire cast of F*** face from inside Jack's mouth Oh that's a great idea I'm okay with that Why what were you thinking I don't think we need more mouths out there

If anything I feel like this photo should be deleted It's disturbing I don't want this to be a trend just like the idea of jack's mouth being a camera the weirdest angle for the truman show it's the mouth camera guy maybe that's the next direction we'll move into is taking stuff out of our pockets moving into our wrist then eliminating the wrist altogether and creating mouth products. I thought you were going to say move everything from the pockets to the mouth. I was like, no, we should not do that.

I just stole my keys to Jack's mouth. The Smashing Sportsmanman i love it he's our guy he's our guy i can't think of another superhero who more uh deftly uh uh exemplifies the face brand than the smashing than the uh the uh arthritis ridden smashing sportsman it's perfect he fits us and nobody gives a shit about him it's fantastic like nobody i love it i'm excited for the world to learn about the smashing sports what do you think he's worth i don't know i think if we if we showed that photo of Jack's mouth they would just give it away like if we used it as a threat it's a terrifying image

I gotta say one thing I liked about this episode really light on the fruit talk very light on the fruit talk we could even I know we're talking about this before smashing sportsman bats potentially that could be a bat thing in the future the bats we sell bats a lot of That could be a bat thing in the future. Cancel the bat, visit the bats. We sell bats.

A lot of opportunities there. There's a lot of opportunities there. That's fun. I think two pretty good episodes there. Yeah, two really good. And I'm excited for next week. Yeah, I can't wait. I'm so excited for next week.

I was afraid we wouldn't be able to cram all this into two episodes. And not only did we, we crammed like banana content. We crammed chocolate content. There was a lot of directions we went, but I didn't even expect. We talked about Dusty Baker for like 16 minutes, which is not what I anticipated, but worth it. Yeah, but what a mind fuck to find out that the high five, the high fucking five was invented in 1977. What a load of shite. I don't believe it for a second.

What a load of shite. I don't believe it for a second. What a load of bollocks. Well, Gavin, I can tell you as someone who lived in the before times, it was dark. We didn't know how to... There was a lot of patting on the back. It didn't feel quite right. Things were a little bit more homophobic back then, so we didn't pat each other on the butt.

We didn't celebrate properly. We just didn't. And I remember the great day when everything changed. I can see how the only living in a world full of high fives, it would be hard for you to comprehend a world without, but it...

I was there. It was dark. And you should hope that we never get plunged back into that darkness again. Thank you for listening to another episode of F*** Face. I believe this was the 75th iteration of this podcast and probably the 65th to mention some sort of a food-related challenge. If you liked it, tell somebody about it because that's how we survive. And if you don't tell somebody about it, one of us will die.

Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.