F**kface - The Rookie Magic Bet // Andrew's Lotto Machine [67]

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about getting together for the first time in weeks, learning about Shift, doing spells, and a decision making lotto machine. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloTushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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number one meal kit. Get up to 14 free meals, including free shipping, when you use code face14 at hellofresh.com slash face14. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. I'm Jeff, Andrew, Gavin. It has been too fucking long since we recorded andrew what's the rfa i didn't well i didn't think this was going to be a show thing necessarily i don't think it's that i guess if it's interesting enough to talk so it's so important we're leading off the podcast it's just it was a funny i love how petty the nhl can be and how

dumb it is there is a rule so when you draft the player, right, they immediately are on a rookie contract. You sign them to a rookie deal. There are limits to that. The first time a rookie finishes his rookie contract, he becomes a restricted free agent, meaning that any team in the league can offer him a contract. But if he accepts it, the team that drafted him has a week to match it. If they don't match it, the team that drafted him has a week to match it if they don't match it the team that sent the contract steals the player and compensates the team with picks that's what a basic rfa is now that's a completely legal rule but it's sort of an unwritten agreement between all of the general managers that nobody ever takes advantage of it because it only helps the players and it fucks

each other over it like increases their value so from from a cap perspective, they're like, we will not do this. If you want to negotiate long with your rookie coming off his deal, nobody will try to poach him. It happens very rarely. There's a time it happened where it almost caused a fistfight between two general managers. A few days ago, maybe like a week at this point, the Carolina Hurricanes sent an offer to a montreal canadians player and he signed it so it was a whole thing of like this rarely happens it was like a six million dollar contract with a 20 signing bonus and the reason why they did the 20 signing bonus is because a few years ago the canadians offer sheeted one of the car Hurricanes players and his jersey number was 20. They did not

forget. They held onto that for years and then at the first point in which they could get revenge, offer sheeted a guy with the same jersey number and a $20 signing bonus. There's no reason for it, outside of just pure penniness. That's what an RFA is. So it's like an FU. It was a total

FU. It's an RFA FU. Yes, exactly. It's the very rarely used R an FU. It was a total FU. It's an RFA FU. Yes, exactly. The very rarely used RFA FU. Yeah, well, I think they view all RFAs FUs as like, that's always an FU. There's no, I don't think there's been one that isn't an FU. That's fair. That was what I wanted to talk about.

I don't know if that's, I didn't listen. Was that one of your five things you have written down? Why do you think I have five things written down? Didn't you earlier say you had five bullet points to talk about? No, I never said that. Did you have five? I don't know. I haven't counted.

I could have sworn when I came in before we started the podcast, I heard you say I have five things on my list to talk about today. No, I never said that. Where did I hear that then? I have no idea. Could Eric back me up? Eric was here. I mean, Nick is backing up idea. Eric, could Eric back me up? Eric was here. I mean, Nick

is backing up Jeff. Oh, Nick is? I don't remember Andrew saying that he had five things, but for the sake of content, yeah, Andrew, you said that you had five things written down. Well, Nick hasn't recorded. Maybe he had five things. Like, you went to Scotland recently? Thank you! I knew it, Nick! Nick

says I have five bullet points, ellipses. I knew it. I knew it. You. Nick says, I have five bullet points, ellipses. I knew it. I knew it. You definitely said that. I never said I have five bullet points. That is not a thing I would say. It feels unnatural to say now. I don't think that's a thing I would say.

I said I have five bullets. You said you have five bullets. You did say that you have five bullets. That was in reference to a bet. That was my betting. Those are my, yeah. That's not conversational. I have five bullets for betting. That's where the misunderstanding was. You that's not conversational i have five bullets for betting oh that's where the misunderstanding was you know the common phrase i have five bullets i got five

i got five bullets i do that's how i view it i'm gonna probably miss all five but it's fine it's a risky game of russian roulette is it yeah if you got five in the chamber well it depends how many guns you're playing with if i'm playing with 20 guns it's pretty good chance good odds wow that turned around on me i'm impressed yeah yeah welcome home buddy i missed you so much don't ever leave me again i've i heard that you went jet skiing without me i well i had to what what am i gonna do you're not in town uh i i do have a funny little story about that and that is the thing we should talk about is between the time how long has it been since we recorded by the way three weeks three it might as well be 15 years it feels like over

a month but i guess yeah it's been the longest three weeks of my life and i made a point of because i knew gavin i knew you were going home to visit your family and i wanted i don't know i don't want to like i don't want to bug you with america so i haven't talked to you at all in three weeks you wanted time i wanted you to have like unfiltered time with your family and your friends from england and not be reminded of all the dumb ass well you did you did check in once and that was very nice but just the one time so i just said hey i hope you're doing well i don't want to bother you. Yeah, I did. But I wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

It was very nice. How was your vacation, man? Oh, it was so good. It was so nice to see the fam and I feel very refreshed. I feel like being away from content and being away from being able to make it, like physically being blocked

from making content, spurs a lot of creative thoughts. So I feel very nicely refreshed. Dude, I'm glad to hear that. I don't want to speak for andrew but i feel like he and i have both been kind of pulling our hair out because there's so much to talk about and we keep having ideas and things we want to dive into and we just haven't been able to and i've been like itching to get to this fucking podcast i don't know about you andrew

it's a really weird thing where i almost have it's i don't know how to describe it really it's like there's so much to talk about i'm scared we won't talk about any of it like there's so much i don't know how to sort through what we should talk about and in my head there's a fear if there's actually nothing to talk about because there's so much to talk about you're paralyzed by options yeah you're wasting all of this time you could be talking about it by worrying about whether or not you're going to talk about it well yeah i mean we're starting now but i'm saying leading into this podcast i had nerves going into this one i haven't had like real anxiety about doing the show in quite a while and i was just sitting constantly thinking do we have too much to talk about yeah in a sense that we won't cover any i think there are two things there are two things we could talk about two

major things that andrew and i have been talking about that are in entire episodes by themselves okay and then i have a bunch of stuff written down and i andrew you have your five bullets and then i do and i assume you with all of the creative juices you've got a ton you want to talk about so i actually have five i have five bullet points you have five bullet points let's go let's hear number one oh i feel like i need to oh okay i don't mean to put you on the spot by responding to the thing you said i got really annoyed when i found this out okay okay how many episodes of the jerry springer show did they make 700 uh oh no it's gonna be way more than 700 that thing i feel like yeah i'm gonna say of the Jerry Springer show did they make? 700. Andrew, guess? Oh, no, it's going to be way more than 700. That thing I feel like, yeah, I'm going to say 5,000 episodes.

Oh, my God, Andrew. They made 4,969 episodes. Pretty good. But why didn't they just stop at 5,000? It's insanity. I read that and got really annoyed at the Jerry Springer show. I mean, it was a terrible shitty show for decades. But why didn't they just finish out a nice round 5,000 shows and then stop?

They're going to stop like 30 episodes short? Mental. Is there a 5,000 club that they could have joined? I don't know. I bet there is. There's got to be a 5 5 000 club that they could have joined i bet there is there's got to be a 5 000 club i feel like he stopped because it just probably was like all his soul that could take like all of his soul was gone at that point like he's just morally beaten down like people were probably saying like we could get the 5 000 we're so close it's such a great number and he's just like i

can't do it anymore there's only so much i can handle he probably just like, I can't do it anymore. There's only so much I can handle. He probably just felt morally bankrupt about profiting off the people on the poverty line for 20 years. Or he woke up every morning and rolled through his mansion of money to his car and thought, why the fuck am I getting in the car and going to work when I don't have any room for all the money that I have? I do think it was sort of like and i i didn't watch the springer show regularly i feel like it's sort of the same episode every single time is it like living in a groundhog day scenario you think making that yeah i bet he's he must have said someone's name and then watched that person walk out and slap the shit out of someone sat in a chair that a thousand times how often did that happen?

It seems like it was... It feels like that's all that show... It would be like if somebody just walked into this show and said, what's a condiment, and left, and that was their job. It was just their instigating for no reason. That's all they have to say. That was what he did.

All he did was instigate for 4,962 episodes of Chefs. An impressive run. He also gave his final thoughts, where he tied it all together and taught a moral lesson at the end, where he just sits there on his chair, his director's chair, and addresses the audience.

I wonder if with 5,000 episodes to look through almost, could you base your life on only Jerry Springer's's final thoughts can you just take all of his values and base a living around it if jerry springer didn't mention it you can't do it i'm guessing that there's probably a book i bet there's a jerry springer like my thoughts book that you could use as a like a thought bible purpose. I want like an episode breakdown book. Like it's just a fully every episode written

down and him giving little notes about each show. Just a giant encyclopedia sized thing of trash. Hey man, I don't know if you've checked the trash lately, but Eric's got some conflicting information he's posted. Interesting. Guiding Light, 15,000 episodes. Oprah Winfrey Show, 4,500. Jerry Springer

Show, 5,08 episodes. Oprah Winfrey Show, 4,500. Jerry Springer Show, 5,084. Interesting. Because on the Jerry Springer Show Wikipedia page, it's listed as 4,969. I wonder if they roll in some of the Steve Show in that, potentially. What's the Steve Show? Well, you know that cop that was like the security guy? Yeah.

They spun him off into his own show produced by the same company that was... Wait, the security guy was a cop? He was a retired Chicago police officer. Yeah. Shouldn't he have just arrested everyone that came out and backed him up? Well, I think he was retired. I think he was retired at that point.

But yeah, he eventually... I don't remember his last name, but he eventually had his own show. Steve from Jerry Springer. Interesting. What was the most escalated thing that happened on that show like remember how the host of cheaters got stabbed i think that was fake but like what was that's it did jerry springer ever get stabbed like what's the closest

to an escalation i think uh what was it heraldo got his nose caved in by a chair yeah what happened what like somebody threw a chair at nose caved in by a chair. Yeah. What happened? What, like somebody threw a chair at him or hit him with a chair? It was just like a big brawl. I think there may have been some white supremacists involved and someone chucked a chair or something. Interesting. Interesting times for

television. Dude, and before that, you know, that was that generation's version of that show before that there was a guy named morton downey jr who was like the prototype for what jerry springer became and i think the morton downey jr show was actually more hardcore there's a is there just like a large percentage of downey juniors you don't hear a lot of juniors but if your surname is downy it's likely that there'll be a junior i think it's a requirement yeah yeah you know i never thought about that but you are right i don't know a lot of other multiple juniors i don't either yeah i

can't name any maybe the comment leavers have some yeah i come to mind all right well that was one bullet point down gavin what's next no i'm passing it over to you guys okay i got a bullet point i got a gavin bullet point that i feel like i feel like this is the thing we talked about i learned about this last night this is very exciting i don't know how many i have a feeling that a lot of people will know this i did not realize this at one point gavin i feel like you asked me what is the most common thing I don't know or like what is the most yeah yeah I learned last night I had no idea that this was a thing if you hold down shift if you hold shift down it capitalizes your letters I had no idea oh I thought you were gonna go

that right that one is mental because I had no idea i've been caps locking my whole life you've been caps locking a single letter at a time and then every caps looking every time yeah i would have issues sometimes one of my my biggest annoyances is when because i don't look when i i type is if i screw up the caps lock combination where i make all the little letters big and the big letters small because i'm caps locking yeah i had idea. I didn't know you could do the shift. But when you're typing on a phone and you put like a full stop and then you start typing again,

it automatically shifts to uppercase. Like, what did you think that was doing? The shift like lights up. I just assumed that like it knew first letter of the sentence. Like once I put a period. Oh my God. That it would then just automatically capitalize for you.

I never paid attention to the function on the keyboard. I also don't know if that's true. So how did you get to the symbols? You were shifting numbers to get symbols, right? Yeah, I shift for symbols, but that's all I use the shift for. I'm not a big

shift user. I don't use the shift regular. But you shift for symbols, and every time shift regular but you shift for symbols and every time you hit the shift key for symbols it changes everything to caps you never noticed that I don't know what that means I don't know what you're saying I've never tried to type in a letter while holding shift never if I'm if I'm putting a symbol in I'm holding the shift for the symbol then releasing the shift the reason I had like kind of a flat reaction to that i thought that it was going to continue like did you know that if you held shift and pressed x or whatever that yeah you just ended it if you held shift it capitalized the yeah i did you're basically you just ended it with like did you guys know shift

yeah how i just didn't i didn't know like oh, I think Eric even taught me that shift is how you drop down without hitting submit. Like if you hold shift and enter, it'll drop down on the thing. I didn't know that. I never hit shift outside of making symbols. Shift is the symbol key to me. I felt I felt dumb the other day because my girlfriend taught me that if you hold the space bar down on your iPhone when you're typing, you can then move your cursor to anywhere within the within the text so you can edit much faster. And I thought, how have I been doing this wrong all these years? How much of my life have I wasted on my iPhone trying to like precisely get to where I needed to fix a letter? And you just made me feel like I felt so dumb. You've made me feel so much smarter. I really I got to thank you, actually. I just wasn't aware.

I don't know if it's a dumb thing. I just didn't know. Nobody told me. I missed that. Who taught you a keyboard? That was in school. I was taught how to type in school. I would love to see the first time you typed.

And I bet it was something as simple as... I bet it was a classic butterfly flapping its wings out a window. And you just zoned out for like six seconds. Look looked at a butterfly and then didn't hear the shift bit and then you lived the rest of your life incredibly inefficiently i bet this is exactly like how i switched math classes in the third grade for one week and i missed roman numerals and now you know 46 years into my life i still don't know roman numerals i bet you in sick that day. Maybe you had a tummy ache or whatever on shift day and you were just fucked for the rest of your life.

That's actually not your fault. I feel bad for you. I missed the first two lessons of French that I had. So I missed numbers and letters. Absolutely screwed me for the rest, the whole year I did French. I don't know anything. Those are the two keys to French.

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Mine is. Go get it. As a matter of fact, I didn't used to sleep naked. And now that I have a tushy, I didn't used to sleep naked. And now that I have a tushy, I used to sleep in underwear now that or like a jammy pants. But now that I have a bidet, I sleep in the nude. I sleep commando and I don't worry at all that I'm going to wake up covered in filth because I don't. It doesn't happen because I know that when I use my bidet and I put my little head on that pillow and my little butt cheeks on the bed, I'm going to sleep sound and wake up clean.

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Start washing with a Tushy bidet for a better clean. Go to hellotushy.com to get 10% off plus free shipping. This is a special offer for our listeners at hellotushy.com slash face for 10% off. After you buy and install your Tushy, show it off. Tag us at hellotushy.com on Instagram. You weren't there for the last break shit we did, Gavin. I felt incredibly stupid because we were opening football cards. And either Jeff or Eric, I think Jeff said, what's LVI?

And he meant Roman numerals. In my head, I was thinking like MVP, like it stood for something. So it was like least valuable information. I replied it in a weird sense. They're like, it's Roman numerals. Is L 50? Yes. information or like i replied it in a word sense they're like it's roman it's roman numerals i felt is l 50 was that uh yes was that 56 lvi i don't know i have no idea i know it's not least valuable information i know i we covered it in the break show which by the way we did a break show without you it wasn't the same without you we missed you but it was still a fun time we did well i'll be

there for the next one you also could have waited two days and I would have been back, but that's fine. Well, we couldn't. Which we should get to at some point. One of the things we need to talk about is from that break show, and it includes you,

whether you want it to or not. Okay. We picked for you. I hate his pick, and I hate what has transpired since his pick. He is going to fucking win. He's going to win. Gavin has no idea he's going to win. It's the most Gavin thing of all time. I hate his pick, and I hate what has transpired since his pick. I hate he doesn't know about it.

He's going to win. Gavin has no idea he's going to win. It's the most Gavin thing of all time. Everyone's been asking me about this. Jack's like, oh, what's this stuff about this bet? And Eric was asking me something about it yesterday. I don't know what anyone is talking about, and it's weird that I'm involved. So what's happening?

Here's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to go to Vegas in a couple weeks to place my bet, and I'm going to place your bet for you as well, just so that you get taken care of. But I'm gonna go to vegas in a couple weeks uh and i'm gonna to place my bet and i'm gonna place your bet for you as well just so that you get taken care of but i'm not going to vegas i mean you go to vegas if you want to but i'm just saying if you don't i'm gonna already be there so i'm gonna i'll place your bet for you if you need we should probably explain everything so he knows what we're talking something explain anything if we do this is the rest of the episode. You think so? I don't know, man. Maybe. Yeah, fuck it.

Let's do it. Let's go for it. Andrew, this is you. Okay, so Jeff and I talked about in the past before, even before F*** Face, doing this idea where we were going to use spells on NBA players and then make bets based off of the spells that we sent towards the players.

There are different versions of this idea. We're at one point going to have like a sorcery battle between the Wizards and the Magic, which are two different NBA teams. Have a battle of like magic between them. This feels like French again. I feel like I've missed the letters

and the numbers. What the hell are you talking about? All right, so there's an NBA team called the Wizards. There's an NBA team called the Orlando Magic. We think it's funny that they both had magic-based names. So we thought, what if we hired voodoo practitioners and magicians and brujeria people,

and we had them play spells and curses on players? Not curses. Well, at different times, it definitely leaned into the curse uh we we've we've posited it up because we don't want to get sued but uh we definitely had a had a period we were gonna like hex players and shit and see if we could affect the outcome of a game andrew would be one of the teams i'd be the other and we would duel with magic so what the origin of this thought was i was thinking about how when athletes are successful in things, like whether it be you hear it a lot in combat sports, but you hear it in all sports,

they'll be like, I just I want to thank God or Jesus for that. And then I thought I've never heard a player on the losing side say like they had God on their side, like Jesus blocked my three point attempt. I don't know. I made a great shot. You're saying like they only thanked God and Jesus. Nobody blames Jesus for their loss. Only people support and like,

I want to thank God for this knockout. It's like, God had a role in me getting knocked out. What am I supposed to do about that? What the hell was Jesus back there? God gets all of the credit and none of the blame. And apparently, if everybody does it for God, at least half of the people competing, God is betting against. That's an excellent way to look at it. Yeah, at least half of the people competing God is betting against.

That's an excellent way to look at it. Yeah, well, that's that was the starting point, which then escalated to I've never heard a player be like, I want to thank all the spells I cast on myself this offseason. Like I didn't train. I did very little working out. I didn't practice. I just cast a bunch of magic on me. It's working out great. This is fantastic.

Yeah, it's like I want to thank the hoodoo practitioner who uh who placed the seven spells that yeah that helped me win so we have escalated this to the nfl season is about to start and we thought it would be great to pick rookies for winning rookie of the year make rookie of the year bets and then use magic on the people that we pick. Jeff was opening a box of college trading cards, which I greatly misunderstood what they were. I thought they'd all be college players from the previous season, not just a bunch of players that played in college. I thought that was a weird box, like the amount of players we got from the previous season.

Yeah, that's how they all work. The collegiate packs. Yeah, it's just it's unfortunate. But we got all these cards and we had essentially everybody that we wanted on this list. And we drew a card for you, Gavin. So you have a horse in this race. You have a good one. Well, let's talk about that.

So it had the one stipulation is it had to be an it had to be. What's the word? an underdog, right? It had to be somebody who's not slated to win Rookie of the Year. That's definitely Trevor Lawrence, so I can't remember the guy right behind him. So I picked a guy named Nige Harris, who played at the University of Alabama, which is why I picked him.

Andrew, who did you pick? I picked Justin Fields. Who's a quarterback. Who's a quarterback, yeah. And for you, Gavin, we picked another underdog. We picked a guy named Mac Jones, who was drafted by the Patriots to be potentially their new future quarterback.

However, the Patriots had a very high-profile quarterback step in after Tom Brady left. And so he was... Mac Jones, it didn't look like he was going to start or get a lot of play time because this guy Cam Newton is like a world-class, or at times has been a world-class, like one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL, very talented dude, has had some troubles the last few years. And then in a big big

big surprise on Monday or Tuesday they cut that dude and Mac Jones is now the quarterback for the Patriots so your rookie is now running the show dude I'm in in the week since we picked I think he was like the fifth most likely like he was a pretty big

underdog for winning rookie of the year since that time he is now switched to be the favorite. Since the declaration. I don't know. I don't know what to say about that. Every time I read a story about a rookie, like the Jaguars had one of their rookies get hurt, and I was immediately suspicious

that we have somehow caused this, that there is dark magic out there that people are using. I feel like people are sending spells to you. I know we are. We're only endorsing positive magic. You don't know what's going on out there that people are using. I feel like people are sending spells to you. I know we are. We're only endorsing positive magic. You don't know what's going on out there. We have no control over that. Just imagining that Quidditch scene

in the first Harry Potter movie. So congratulations, Gavin. Everything is coming up you right now. That's awesome. I'm so excited. I made a huge bet on Justin Fields, and then the next day they're like, Mac Jones is starting for the Patriots.

That's a good name too, Mac Jones. Also an Alabama alum, so we're swimming in the same wake, which is nice. Now you just have to figure out what magic you're going to do over the course of the next six months, five months, however long the NFL season is to secure your

rookie of the year victory or hire somebody. Figure out someone who knows what they're doing. You live in Austin. There's a lot of magic in Austin, dude. I can take you to some places. I feel like I need to buy crystals. That's a thing, right? That's a good...

That's a spell. Crystals. There's a crystal store in Austin. The one that says this place rocks or something. What does it sound like? Nature's Treasures. It's like the crystal and rock store it's huge huge and it's always packed it is always packed can i so if i go to a fortune teller they can only tell my fortune right that's the deal with those i think those are the rules is that true though is that like a governing rule i think it might just depend on their abilities.

Well, I think it has to be related to you somehow. You can't just ask about like, well, it's related. It's fortune. It's related to him now. I mean, he is now he and Justin Fields are are cosmically tied for the next few months. If I go to like six fortune tellers and ask who the rookie of the year is gonna be for the upcoming NFL season I wonder what will be said that should have been a factor I should have done more prep work are you gonna give this person multiple choice or are they gonna have to just pluck a name

they're gonna have to tell me who's gonna win I'm not gonna give them multiple choice I want to see what the universe has to say what are the chances that any one of them can give you a name of someone who even is anything to do with that sport? That's on them. You think it's going to be like an 8-ball thing where it's like, my vision is blurry on this. I see a jersey, the name's kind of blurry. I don't know who it is. I'm sorry.

I can't help you. Someone who's going to wear a jersey. That's an interesting... I should do that. I just that i just i wonder yeah pay some scammers do it it's in it's it's within the spirit of the of the competition i think you should i think you should explore we should all explore all available options if we want to if we want to win this thing the problem is is actually i've already made a pretty big bet on justin fields winning so i feel like if i spend money to learn that the opinion is not Justin Fields, then I've just wasted more money to confirm that.

Yeah, you've wasted money knowing or finding out that you've wasted money, basically. Hey, Gav, real quick. Can you just say Mac Jones? Mac Jones. Is that good, Eric? Is that a good take? You know, the take? Oh, no.

Yeah, you can. If you want to give me another one, that's good. I mean, that's the whole reason that I picked them for you is I just thought, like, everyone has, like, these other ones, and it's just Mac Jones feels like a very Gavin name for me. Wow, that was something. You want to try that again? Mac Jones.

That's pretty good. I'm very impressed. That's pretty good. It's like, wait, who said that gavin who said that gavin or eric i'm excited about me and mac jones i think we'll be uh we'll go far and hey it's just so you i like that when it comes to gambling all you've ever done is fuck me and then you get mac jones and it's just he's the starter the next day. I think the natural progression off of us breaking

shit occasionally is, and I don't know the legality of this, I want an Andrew gambling show. I just want to watch you lose money. I think that's really good. Speaking of Andrew gambling and an Andrew gambling show, there's an excellent point for me to mention that I have my foot,

I'm using it as a footrest right now, is the mini roulette machine i bought for you guys oh so that would be perfect for andrew's gambling show andrew was sending me videos of people losing it was blackjack you said yeah it was blackjack yep yeah and uh fascinating people just losing 10 grand in one go and their reactions to it oh i think that'd be great for Andrew here. I'll show you a thing. I bought Jeff. You bought the roulette wheel for us. Yes, I did.

I went through a bad run. I've just I've I no longer trust myself to make decisions. I've lost that right. I need to regain that privilege again. So I bought I bought this. I've just been using this whenever I'm like unsure on what i should do about something oh it's pretty big it's it's maybe bigger than it looks it's uh yeah so i'll just be like i'll be if i want to do something i just assign numbers to it and then draw that's how i make

the choices now because i'm incapable are you like, how many chicken nuggets do I want today? Oh, 14. Okay. No, no, no. I don't do it like that. I'll be like, okay, I'm not sure. Do I want a 10 piece? Do I want a 20 piece? If it lands between 1 and 29, I'll get the 10. If it's above that, I'll go with the 20. I just have split everything.

I'm terrible at making choices. I'll do the thing where I'll be on Netflix for hours just scrolling. No more. I'll have five movies on a list. I'll drop from the thing where I'll be on Netflix for hours just scrolling, no more I'll have five movies on a list, I'll drop from the machine I've solved so many issues with my life because of this machine But do you ever go against what the machine tells you? Never! You cannot go against

the machine, it has one rule that you must obey the machine At the point I disobey the machine, what am I even doing? There's no point What decisions are you putting into this? Because surely not every decision. Some decisions you have to make yourself. No, if I'm on the fence about something,

or if I want to do something, but deep down I think, actually, that's a bad idea, then I go to the machine to see if it will validate my bad choice. So what was the most recent one? Yeah, there you go. The most recent one was deciding where I was going to order dinner from. Last night was the most recent one? Yeah, there you go. The most recent one was deciding where I was going to order dinner from last night.

It was the last time I used the machine. What were the Chinese? OK, Chinese pizza. I could have got sushi. I had a whole thing. I didn't know what I wanted. So what number is the machine?

What number did you draw that gave you 17? Was it 17? It was delicious. I got the fried rice. It was wonderful. Great time. You want to, hey, you want to, let's see, Gavin, think of a number.

Think of a number right now. Between. One and 60. One and 60. There's 60 balls in this machine. Got it. I got it. Here's the thing.

I think there are 60. When I moved it over there, I made a mistake and all the balls fell onto the floor and shot everywhere. And it's possible there are some behind my fridge. I do not know. I do not know if all 60 are in there at this point. You've misbalanced the decisions in your life because some balls fell under the fridge.

It was like a mistake where there were two balls in the chamber and I thought, I can't get those out. I'll just lift the lid and put my hand in. And it was tired. I wasn't thinking. I just lifted it and they all fell on floor it was how do you get them out through the top no okay so do you see the chamber on the right they bounce into there and then the sensor above detects oh there's the ball and it stops spinning oh if I hold it it just thinks the sensor

yes so then I push the green button and a little panel moves and the ball drops down the chute and into the hole and then that's how that worked do you want okay so you think of another let's see let's see how lucky this is well do i tell you the number or what uh i'm not sure no you think you know what you think you keep it in your head we'll try right now it's also very loud i'm gonna warn you why don't i type into discord once you've pulled the number? Okay. I'm pulling it right now. I'm not going to be able to see my screen, so I won't see your Discord post. Are you ready?

I'm going to warn people. This is very loud. Yep. Also, the machine is broken. Okay. Oh, my God. Sounds like a wall falling down. Okay.

We got a number? 43. 43? 43 43 that was close what was it what was your number 54 that was actually pretty close that was like my springer fake number close we should uh you know how there was that idea that we never followed through with where andrew you could only grocery shop on incaps at the grocery store? Yes. Which I still think No, well, that sounds great too. I think there's a lot we can do with this machine. I'm very excited about the possibilities. But in the short term,

it might be funny for you just to take a week or a couple days where you every decision in your life has to be made with that machine. Like, what shirt do I put on today? I love the idea of gamifying. Am I going to leave the house? gamifying your whole life is so funny yeah that is so before i bought the machine gavin and i had a conversation about like making all your choices just be random i'm not up to you you have to draw a line on questions because like technically everything becomes a you have to make

a choice you're making a choice in ways you don't necessarily yeah that's how we we clarify that you're gonna have to make some yourself because otherwise you could just say like oh should i record face today and then suddenly you don't show up because the bulls told you not to yeah or it could be you know a an issue of do i i need the shit do i use a toilet like everything if you make everything a choice i think i use the example should i wipe my ass and you were just like, that's ridiculous. Of course I'm wiping my ass. Yeah. So I think it has to be...

That's the kind of code I'm living by. It's things that I either want to do, but also part of me is saying, you don't do that. Yeah, I think you could be more like, I think I have to shit. Do I shit now or wait 15 minutes? Do I shit now or later? Not like, do I use toilet paper?

It's more to fix it's more to fix indecision than yeah yes that's a great way to phrase it i don't feel like once again though the 15 minute thing are you asking me to shit myself like it depends on the situation do i have 15 minutes when i'm making that question or is that a question i'm asking when i have more than 15 minutes i don't know i mean i'm just thinking about my life very often i'll think like do i have time to take a shit right now, or do I feel like taking a shit? Because I can hold it a couple... Eh, it'd be easier just to hold it and do it later.

Like, I don't know. I feel like if I need a shit, I just go and have one. It depends on... For me, I can chamber my shits pretty long. I can't do that with pee, but definitely with poop. A shit in the chamber is such a great combination of words. Do you feel like you have two chambers?

I got two shit chambers. Like somehow cars have a reserve gas tank? Yeah, I got two. Okay. Like I can sit down and do a poo and it's done. I could just wipe and get up. Or I could do that and then wait about five minutes and then round two comes oh yeah yeah and it just buys me more time between now and the next poo if

i get both chambers empty i feel like that second if i let's say i do that right i take a shit and then i eat something like a mcdonald burger, the cavalry is coming within 15 minutes. It's quick. It's going to push down the next chamber. It's truly like a magic trick within itself. I don't know how to explain it, but when I eat fast food, certain fast food, the cavalry will come.

I didn't know that anyone sent the memo out, but we're going back. It's a round two. We're immediately headed back to the club. I have a similar thing where I drink ice coffee or cold brew pretty constantly, like water. And you get at least one shit per cup of ice coffee. So it's like there's some days where you can take like...

It's just like you're just going back and forth from the fridge to get more ice coffee to the toilet. It's a pretty constant stream. I forgot about dumping in England because it's different, like different food, different diet. It really,

it dwindles down to, I think I was going like once every couple of days. Whereas here it's like probably twice a day. And I love it. I love having an anus that hasn't been used in a day.

It feels nice. Well, why don't you just try to adopt your British bland no-taste food diet? Like, the only reason you shit more in America is because you have better options. I don't know if that's true.

You should test this. You think if there was a Franklin barbecue next to your house in Oxfordshire, you wouldn't eat there constantly? How am I going to test this, Andrew? What do you mean I'm going to test this? Well, you just, you get the same, you make the same food. So you eat the same food. You eat the diet you had when you were in England for like a week.

I have to import all my meals from England. It's different shit. It's different ingredients, different sauces. It's not like sugar in the bread and stuff. I got you. You're being ridiculous. Yeah, but that's what expats do. You managed to get your hands on

Braston pickle. That wasn't so hard. Yeah. I got fucking multiple cans of salad cream. I like that Gavin's like, I have to eat Wonder Bread when I'm here. I have no choice. It's a law. I can only have this one type of sugary bread. The stuff on the British Isle is the stuff that keeps, like the stuff in a jar, like

pickled crap and baked beans. They're not shipping salad and milk and bread and stuff over. What the fuck do you mean? You can't let you make the salad. What does that mean? You're saying British cows make milk that makes you shit less than American cows. That's what you're saying.

I'm not saying it's specific to milk, but I mean they certainly eat different grass and it's different tasting. I don't know. I feel like salad was a really weird choice by you. I'm just picking something that's not going to last. American salad be making me shit like crazy.

No one has ever said that. Ever. Until this moment. I can't identify the individual different things that make me poop twice a day here and poop once every four days in England. Gavin, we have had this conversation 20 times over the course of our friendship,

and it always boils down to you like the food in America. You have more options that are more exciting to you that are worse for you, and you can't control yourself in America. And in England, there's less to eat. So you just eat. You make your own pasta all day, all night long, and that's what you eat. And then you never shit. I don't think.'t think okay i'm gonna try this the next week starting next week i'm gonna try and eat stuff that causes me to shit once every two days but i don't think i

could do it with the whole of heb i don't think i could do it you're acting like shepherd's pie is the most exotic dish that you cannot access. They don't have the technology to make shepherd's pie in anywhere else. I need my non-shitting British crisps. The American crisps, they're ripping my asshole apart. I'd love to hear from comment leavers

who have spent significant time between these two countries because I'm not making it up. Nobody thinks you're making it up we don't think we just don't think it's the quality of the food we think you eat shitty food in america because there's a lot of shitty because austin is a shitty food town it is a foodie town do you think you could do it do you think you could eat next week and shit once every two days i don't. I've never had that experience.

It's like a weird thing to say. What do you mean? Do you think I can do it? Can I only shit once every two days? Is that what you're asking? Is that the question? Yeah, if you could change your diet to achieve that. Well, hold on.

Andrew, how often do you shit every day? Definitely every day. How many poops a day do you have? Probably once, I'd say. Okay, you average once a day. Gavin, you currently, American Gavin, you average what, twice a day, you said? Between one and two, but definitely one.

I would say I'm between two and four a day, probably. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm exceptionally healthy. It's the more you shit, the better off you are. It's good for you Is that true? I think that just means you're having as much coffee As you should be having water

It's like you're running shit drills I'm just getting better It's better and better I feel like you just made a 15 minute argument That the reason why Gavin shits more Is because he eats shittier food. And then you're like, I have four shits because I'm so healthy. What are you talking about?

I got to defend myself here. Also, I am also full of shit. I've also got I also I also I'm an anomaly. I'm different because I have to take medicine to make me shit or I'll die because I have that disease. So I have to every night of my life i have to drink miralax which then makes me shit my brains out gently i i might add uh so i you know it's like i i had the amount of miralax i go through is unbelievable yeah well that explains the four days sometimes it's not to turn it into a full shit podcast like we've had before but what what's uh nick and eric's averages while we've got them here?

Oh, that's a great question. Once every other day. Every other day. Whoa, you're on the English way? How'd you do it? I don't, I mean, I don't think I eat too, too much. So that's probably it. I think it's just probably less food.

I think it's just less food. You're saying it's just a quantity thing. Nick, what are you shitting, man? Once a day. So wait. But I just have like lunch and dinner. Are you just having lunch? I mean, it's like,

it's kind of like eating, like grazing kind of like throughout the day, but nothing's like a huge meal typically. How about this? Eric, what is your, what's on the menu for today? What is your, like what will you eat from start to finish today? I had a banana.

I had broccoli, brown rice, and chicken. I'll probably have like steak and maybe a quesadilla, something to like for dinner. But like all of these are smaller. So throughout the day, i'll have some pineapple or watermelon or something like that that's probably what i'll have typically damn how about you moderately healthy what is your average day uh like you said you only eat lunch and dinner so what do you have for lunch today and what are you gonna have for dinner tonight i didn't mean to stump you i'm sorry if that was too hard to question

i don't want to grind the podcast to a halt or I'm sorry. If that was too hard of a question to answer. I don't want to grind the podcast to a halt or anything. We can move on. I was thinking about what I had today. I had a smoothie. I had a smoothie for lunch. Okay. At a nana about 11.

Don't know what I'm going to have tonight. I don't want to like, as you haven't said, I don't want to make this too gross, but I have a question of, are all shits equal? No. Is there like the,

how do you measure, are we doing, like, is there a the equivalent how do you measure are we doing like is there a bunt of the shitting world like what is the half is that where you hold out a baseball bat to shit yeah yeah we're like it bounds yeah when you're in your i still honestly don't know how the bat knobs work we haven't even touched on those but i'm still confused about that process i got it up um we gotta have the bat knob just mean, like, every time you sit on a toilet and shit comes out, is that a shit? Yeah, I think if you need to wipe, you've taken a shit. I just, okay. But I just feel like that scale isn't fair.

What do you mean? Because I feel like that... What, you're just going to sit down and shit, like, one more teaser and then you're done? Well, I'm saying that can happen. Think about the fishing world, okay? If I pull out a 20-foot salmon, the biggest goddamn salmon anyone's ever seen, and somebody fishes a goldfish, those shouldn't count as the same thing. You both went fishing and you both caught fish.

Yeah, and Nick has brought up an interesting point. He said, what about the rare wipe-free shits? You still have to wipe. You still have to wipe you both caught fish. Yeah. And Nick has brought up an interesting point. He said, what about the rare wipe-free shits? You still had to wipe. You still had to wipe, so it counts. You still had to see what was on the... Yeah, it does count. Why is everything on this podcast, we need to find the regulation version of it?

What is that? Well, it's just... He likes to have a benchmark. No, if Jeff is saying I'm shitting four times a day, which is really high. Two to four. Two to four. I've shit twice today already,

and I don't think I'm done. See, that's a lot to me. In my head, it can't be what I would consider the average shit. I can't wrap my head around, you're taking four average shits a day. Oh, yeah, I mean, not all shits are created equal, but they're all shits.

That's what I'm saying. So I'm just making sure. I wanted more of a clarification than an argument. Not every shit is a grand slam. Not every shit is a home run. A lot of shits are doubles and singles. I have a lot of doubles. I have a lot of doubles in my life. I have a lot of, like, I'm in scoring position.

I got an extra base. It's good for the team. I haven't scored, but it's way better than a bunt or a single. You know, maybe I advanced the runner if there was somebody on. Maybe I scored a run. I don't know.

What would the Grand Slam be? No, I don't want to know. I think it's probably whatever happened to Andrew that day when he almost shit on a tree at the mall or whatever. No, you know what?

I honestly, I think the Grand Slam is because you feel good about yourself when it's a Grand Slam. It is a giant shit that requires no wipe at all. That's the Grand Slam. I haven't had the Grand Slam is because you feel good about yourself when it's a Grand Slam. It is a giant shit that requires no wipe at all. That's the Grand Slam. I haven't had a Grand Slam in a very long time.

Love a good Grand Slam. Miralax does not allow for Grand Slams. Yeah, it's rare. I don't get a lot of Grand Slams in Austin, I'll be honest. Out of the water. The chat is going very gross right now. What's the knob update? Yeah, well, I have a knob update.

I'm going to tell you right now. I'd like to preface this, by the way, with I'm going to annoy you in this conversation that we're about to have. What does that mean? You're going to get annoyed. Okay. So here's the knob update.

I had the 100 baseball bats, full-size baseball bats, right? And I had 900 pre-made knobs. And then I, eventually I got 1,100 metal tags, numbers one through 100 twice. Everything I needed. I began last

Thursday or Friday. Uh, I got the old, I got my chop saw that I bought. I set it all up in my backyard and, uh, Saturday and Sunday, I want to say I spent about seven hours each day. I'm very tan now. Uh, spent seven hours on Saturday and probably seven hours on Sunday cutting, cutting knobs. I did 102 bats. All 102 bats are knobless. I then had to take the cut knobs, which were imperfect, and sand them down with a little

Black & Decker mouse sander. And then I sanded the bat end, because that was fucked up as well, and I just wanted it to be nice and symmetrical. So I cut 102 knobs, I sanded 102 knobs, 102 knobs I sanded 102 knobs and then I sanded 102 bat ends

that was my entire weekend that was probably 25 hours of work or something over the course of the weekend although I gotta say way fucking better and way more enjoyable and way more fun to do than burning those fucking numbers into those tiny bats.

That was way less work, but way shittier work. I enjoyed every second of playing with the power tools this weekend. When I finished that, I then affixed the little metal serial numbers to the knobs that I created, and then affixed the other ones to the knobless bats so they had matches. I have since given those to Rooster Teeth. They have them.

They're in Rooster Teeth's possession. So I no longer have 102 bats in my house. What I do still have is 900 bat knobs, which, holy shit, 900 is such a bigger number than 100. It is going to take me the rest of my fucking life to do to put these tags on these pre-made bat knobs. I think I've done about

since Monday, I think I've done about 450. So I'm about halfway done. I've seen some of the pictures. I will say the quality of work excellent. They look professionally done. I think that they, I think the audience the comment leavers who are the purchasers will be very surprised and pleased with the level of

quality i do i put a lot of love and effort into it but here's the problem that they're all the wrong size every single one of them they're they're all wrong you you we had this conversation there was size one there was size two and there was size two, and there was size three. We agreed that size one was like a button and size three was ridiculous. It's like half the handle. Size two, the perfect knob. You've made every single one in size three.

Okay, here's my rebuttal to that. First off, one, fuck you. Two, I measured and made them the same size as all of the pre-made bat knobs so they would be uniform. So don't blame me, blame the 900 bat knobs that

I had to match. I mean, it would have been obviously all 900 are the wrong size. It would have been a good opportunity to make a hundred of the correct size that could have been like, you know, the special ones. Cause they can suck the poop out of my butthole. That's what you can do. The third one of the day,

the fourth one, which one? I just, any, any of my four, any of the four poos or all four. I don't care. Uh,

I I'm pooping pretty regularly throughout the day. So anytime you want to come over, I'm probably within an hour of a poop. You little bitch. Did you not think when you saw all of the half handle ones? Look, this is the size it is.

I'm not going to go and cut down the 900. I'm just going to make the 100 the same size. And by the way, dickhead, you know where I live. The shit's been in my house for months.

Feel free to come over and help out at any point, whenever you fucking want to. I'm happy to help. I'm just saying, we've got to sand down 900 knobs to the right size. No, we don't. They're fine. What do you mean? They're fine. They're too long.

How long are they? How long are they? The knob should be about an inch. Hold on. Hold on. It should be enough to be stuck on a cabinet. Hold on. Hold on.

And I'll find out because I just got to go find a fucking knob and then I'll measure it. Continue to converse. And by the way, however long, whatever number I come back with, right? If it's three inches or seven inches or whatever, just so you know, whatever that number is, is the correct fucking number for how big a bat knob should be as of this moment. It is now the regulation bat knob size.

No matter what that number is, it is the regulation bat knob size that governs all bat knobs across the galaxy in perpetuity. I'll be right back. Andrew, you do remember the conversation we had, right? Where we had the three different sizes? You know what? I honestly don't, but I'm glad you do, because this has been a lot of fun.

You do, Eric. You do, right? Oh, no. I remember. I appreciate you saying that this is going to annoy him. I remember it happened. I don't remember the decision. I remember. I just don't remember what length. I know it was like the middle where it wasn't the button and it wasn't like half the bat, but like just before Jeff gets back back what number are you happy with do you think i would i

would want like between one and one and a half okay be the actual knobs anything anything that's that makes it longer than that uh-huh to the point where it is long and not like a like a cube right i will say i will say you saying one to one and a half, it makes me so thrilled for whatever Jeff is going to come back with because there's no way. Well, I mean, you can see from the pictures, they're going to be about three inches at least.

Also, what was that Andrew? Are you saying that we're selling handles and not selling knobs? We had the whole conversation. We ended up deciding between a button, a knob, and a handle. He's made a thousand

handles. Okay, I'm back. I'm back. Okay. We put this to a public vote, didn't we? I measured. Do you want just the

hand, the knob? Like, the part that comes off the knob is what I measured, not the knob itself, right? Wait, I like it in Dinklageous as well, very specifically.

Someone find first. Someone find the public poll we did wait. What are you measuring? It's about an inch and a half oh But oh, but what that is without kidding. I've been listening to this whole thing. It's three That's how fucking big that's how big Tony and the merch department made it. So that's how big it is. How about this, dickhead? Show up at any of the face merch meetings and make your opinion heard. We have them

every two weeks. You're always invited. You've showed up to zero merch meetings. The comment leavers voted. You did it on meeting! The comment leavers voted! You did it on Instagram! The comment leavers don't make the bat knobs, the merch department does!

They buy them! Oh man, I had a completely different issue that I thought it was unrelated. I'm so happy that yours is this. Have you got a different issue? I do have a different issue! Oh, I can't wait for you. What's your different issue?

Well, so we're only selling the knobs, right? Like we're selling the knobs. I don't know what we're selling to this point. I don't know. I was thinking, I was talking about this with Emily the other night. I was thinking we should sell the, so the 900 knobs will sell as knobs, right? But the other, the 102, I think those should be blind item you're buying one or the other and you don't know it's a 50 50 chance do i get the knob or do i get the knob end

or the the bat end oh like a bit of a knob like a blind box like a blind that was that was my issue i'm gonna put this is a terrible it's the only one that i could find and it's it's largely obstructed it's from our most recent break shit stream you're holding the bat up our logo is on the end of the bat and then you cut off the bottom part so i was curious what why did we put a logo on the end of the bat if we weren't going to sell it but i feel like this discussion i feel like we've had that discussion multiple times there's nothing we can i just have no idea what's going on also the serial i will say, you know, we all shared and agreed that that was ludicrous. But I will say that in my mind that was solved because when I started putting the serial numbers on, I realized that the serial numbers say **** face on them.

So it is technically labeled on the other end. Sure. Good to know. That was mine. I wasn't sure if we were going to sell what we were doing with the other half. I thought we were selling full bats and knobs. Not that we were just doing knobs and then how are we still having this particular conversation i don't know what are we selling this is incredible hey jeff

yeah do you uh do you like producing are you having a good time because this is what it is all the time for every show it's the best i feel like I do feel very, because obviously I wasn't in the meetings, I haven't helped in any way, and I'm still annoyed by it. So I feel like, you know, maybe I'm the asshole in this situation. But I'm pretty sure they should all have been size number two.

Pretty sure about that. Well, you know, for the record, I wanted size number one, and I acquiesced to two. And if they ended up as three, I don't give a fuck, dude. I voted for one. I just wanted it to be a fucking...

I just wanted it to be a knob. I didn't want any end on it. Y'all are the ones that fought for the ends. No, I like the knob. I'm a fan of the knob. The reason this is perfect, though, is that it's been completely f***-faced again. And this is the perfect product.

Here's what I'm looking forward to we're selling handles we sell so we sell these fucking we sell these items right we started with the 50 bats mini bats then we've gotten to the knobs now we've got the hundred uh self-cut and then the 900 so the next order is going to be i think probably at least 10 000 knobs and i'm gonna you know what i'm gonna takeseat and I'm going to let you do those, Gav. You have, you're very opinionated on knob size, on shaft length. And instead of fighting against the tide and getting it wrong every time and then being a huge embarrassment to the company and the podcast, I'm going to take a step back. And when we do the run of 10,000, I'm going to let you cut them all

and then we'll know they're going to be done to Gavin's exacting standards, which I think makes sense to me. Can I borrow your tools? Absolutely. Okay. All right.

I feel like, Gavin, you said that you feel like you're the asshole in this process. I think that's been the constant throughout this. All you've done is cause chaos i remember like three months ago it feels like eric jeff and i were in a merch meeting we settled all of this it all made sense for the first time it clicked then we recorded like 30

minutes later and you asked three questions and make arguments that we couldn't counter where you just like you threw a fucking wrench into everything. You weren't there. You just, all you've done is cause chaos in this process. I feel like I was asking good questions. Maybe you should ask them at the meetings. I don't think anybody's saying your questions are bad. I think that maybe they were just asked at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Well, just have the meetings on Slack and I can read them and reply to them. A meeting is, that's extreme. A meeting about a Batnob? Mentor. There's so much, there's so much that is not, that there's so much discussed in those meetings that we go,

oh, and this, oh, and this. Yeah, it is no joke, dude. There's a lot of ground that gets covered in those meetings for sure. Like the new jet ski merchandise that we should talk about at some point.

Oh, we didn't even talk about our jet ski adventure. We'll have to talk about it next episode. Alright. I'm really excited to get a bat handle. I'm really excited. Yeah? I hope you... I feel like you're overselling the handle now. I feel like you feel bad. I hope you click quickly on the

store when they go for sale, because they're going to go fast, and I don't have any extras to give you, so you can buy one like the rest of them. Oh, I didn't get a special one? That's fair. I didn't make special ones this time i did i made i made two special ones but they're not for y'all i made because we had a hundred and then there were more bats and i thought just in case i miscounted uh because i was numbering them as i went i was like just in just in case i miscounted uh let me do two extra ones and then and then i'll just affix numbers to but then i realized

there was only there's only one 101 and 102 so i hand wrote those uh so those are the two special ones and i signed them is there such thing as a saw that has sandpaper on the circular bit it like saws and sands saws and sands that is a great invention if it doesn't exist and you should patent it. Okay. We could sell it, and then I'll complain it's the wrong size. Should we stop talking so that we can start talking again very quickly? Yeah. We need to do this. Well, thanks for listening to another episode of F***.

I have no idea what episode this was. Do you guys know? 67. Jesus Christ. All right. Episode 67. If you like F*** Face, or even if you're just OK with face, maybe buy some face merchandise at store dot roosteeth dot com or just go to roosteeth dot com on the store link.

We'll have bat knobs. We have waffle bombs. We have a fuck buttons. We have child kicker merch. There's all kinds of dumb shit you could buy. There you go. You could buy. Also, we have a YouTube channel

that has cool stuff like my bike trick on it that you can check out. It did phenomenally well. It got like 70,000 views or something. It's doing great. People love your trick. Wait till we drop the next mixtape. We should end this with a magic trick. Jeff, think of a number between 1 and 60 really quick. Just think of one. Tell me when you have it.

Okay, I got it. Okay. 19. Are you serious? Yeah. What number did you say? 19. You're breaking up. You said 1, 9. 19, right? Yes. No way. No fucking way. No way. No fucking way.

Yeah. Are you taking the piss? This is bullshit. No way. Do you know why I picked... i'll take a photo right now very cool very clearly tell you why i picked 19 because my birthday no this is no this is 19th so i immediately wrote no i actually i i planned the opposite i wanted to keep doing it for as long as annoyingly possible expecting it to never hit. I literally read it in the Discord half a second before you said it. Me too. Me too. Here we go. This isn't real.

Holy shit! What are the odds? I have no... We actually don't know. I don't know how many balls are in the machine. We truly don't know the odds. One in 50-something, probably. I have no idea how that happened or what that means, but it can only portend positive things going forward.

It's got to be good luck, right? This show is so stupid. You know what we should sell? Oh, my God. We should sell number 19 ping pong balls, and we all autograph them. Lucky 19 ping pong balls and we all autograph them. Lucky 19 ping pong balls. That's our next thing. Okay. Wrap it up.

Goodbye. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. That'd be the size of a tennis ball.