F**kface - The Royal We // The Infinity Pizza [89]

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Andrew wanting to skateboard but doesn't want to break in half, bad mood at dinner, the next british food tasting selection, is blood water, Donkey Kong Rap & bet, not joining a hockey team, and PUBG chicken. If you want to send your towel cards in, send to: Infinity Towel, 1901 e. 51st st, Austin, TX 78723 Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16 and use code face16) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.

Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in their weak points, use the terrain and trick, trip, or throw foes off high cliffs or raging waters.

Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. Recently, I made the crispy Parmesan chicken from HelloFresh. It's one of my favorite foods and the recipe was amazing. And that's just one of the delicious meals

I've tried through HelloFresh. With over 50 menu and market items to choose from every week, you'll never get bored. Get 16 free meals plus three gifts with code FACE16 at hellofresh.com slash FACE16. That's go to hellofresh.com slash F16. That's go to hellofresh.com slash face16

and use code face16 to get 16 free meals plus three free gifts. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Okay, we're back. Okay. We're back. Tiki Mugs have been out a week now. Thank you for buying them based off of that great read, that great promotion that we had.

I'm sure they flew off the shelves. Let's fill. We can start that way. Hello and welcome. What? What? We hadn't started? What do you mean we can start that way we haven't started i thought we started why would you think we'd started because we always we have even heard gavin

is he around yeah okay jesus christ i'm worried about speaking to be honest is everybody recording yes okay hello and welcome to podcast this is episode 89 my name is jeff ramsey and with me as always uh the other two yes hello other two hello what uh but i mean andrew you were saying uh in pre-start, not the pleasantries, but the pre-start, that the pink tiki mugs or tiki toilets, as I affectionately refer to them, have been flying off the shelves thanks to Gavin's stellar promotion last episode in the last 30 seconds.

I would hope so, because they're awesome. They are really good. I genuinely think they're great, and I've'm so excited for them. We've done merch meetings for four months where it's been a thing that has been brought up of like, where are the mugs? Where are the tiki mugs? I'm so happy they're finally here. I can't wait to go. So what happened to the originals? OK, I can I can answer this. So originally we got so the first of it took a while for them to build a prototype, right?

They had to design it in the 3d space. Then I think they did like a 3d print to test it and come up with it. Uh, just right. Uh, I think that was like Tony and Tobin and those guys did all that. And then they sent it off to a manufacturer. Manufacturer sent back samples.

I apologize. I'm getting this wrong e-comm team, but, uh, I believe the samples came back and they were not of the quality that we felt comfortable with. And so we went through a couple rounds of that. Could never get it just right. So they went

to a different distributor and then supply chain issues became a reality. And so that's why it took an extra long amount of time. But now we got them. Well, we had them. They may already all be gone by now because we're recording in the future uh we have to record 800 episodes in the

future uh apparently should we get into that well before we get into that just the last thing on merch we we brought up the skateboard last episode oh right i kind of want one because i want to i want to try to i haven't I haven't attempted to ride a skateboard since the MVP accident. I retired on that day. I want to try to ride a skateboard again. I feel like this would be the perfect time to try it. The only thing that's holding me back

to fully committing this idea is that Tom Segura exists and he tried to dunk a basketball, which you wouldn't think would be disastrous, but he broke his whole body in half and had to have serious surgery to try to dunk a basketball, which you wouldn't think would be disastrous. But didn't he like broke his whole body in half and had to have like serious surgery? Snapped his arm in half. So it was bent backwards. But that wasn't even the worst part.

He like he tore like a patella or something in his knee and like basically ended his leg and like had to do had to go through like multiple surgeries to repair it all. Yeah. But he was trying to jump. You're just trying to skate. So yeah, but he was trying to jump you're just trying to skate so yeah but i'm gonna like there's no way i don't eat shit and gavin has already got me concerned about death why why because even door handles are dangerous in gavin's world because door handles are dangerous aren't and i could be wrong maybe jeff said it i don't remember at this

point weren't you the one that asked will we all be alive eight years oh yeah i just don't think that i just wonder i wonder was that you that said it, yeah. I just don't think that. I just wonder. I wonder. Was that you that said it, not Gavin? No, I didn't say that. I said I'd try and stay alive a little bit. That's not a very Gavin thing to say. No, it's not.

But you both have death on my mind because you said that, Jeff. That's, you know, a death thing. Then a few weeks ago, several weeks, several episodes at this point, Gavin, you told a story about how in the snow you would walk by houses and if there weren't footprints, then you would be like, are they dead? You'd play the dead game.

You called it a game where you would try to decide if somebody had died or not. Guess they might be dead. Yep. Yeah, you said that. There is a red car parked outside of my apartment

that I could see and it was snow and nobody went to it for like could see and it had snow snow and nobody went to it for like six days and I had never thought about it before but now every time I see that car I wonder if that person's dead every time I look out my window I'm confronted with the thought of death because of you it's something I never thought about but now it's all I can think about so it's just I got death on the brain I'd be terrified of getting on the board but I

might do it I don't know I'm on the fence you're gonna just be looking at that differently for forever now forever until that literally until unless somebody gets in that car and drives away which i don't think it's been turned on and probably over a month at this point that car is fucking dead well maybe it's because there's snow everywhere they don't want to drive no it's sunny out now maybe no i've never seen anyone touch that car ever. Maybe the car is abandoned. Our friend Gus one time had an old car that he kind of gave up on, and he had it parked on the street in front of his house,

and then he moved to a new house, and he just left the car there. And for like three or four months, he eventually had it towed, I think. But for like three or four months, we would drive by and people would just put signs on it. They were like, please, for the love of God, remove this car. It's not funny anymore.

What's going on? When I went by with him, someone had chucked like a dozen eggs on it. Yeah. Did you think they would have felt pretty, they would have felt bad

about themselves if he had just been dead in that house the whole time? I was just egging the poor dead person's car I can go out to check the car and it's gonna have ham fan is the license plate dude I'll do you one better what if somebody's dead in the car

nah I think I'd know I think that would be discovered probably steam up on the inside you think so I think so or are you gonna say Jeff up on the inside. You think so? I think so. What were you going to say, Jeff? Before I took it to death, you're going to take us somewhere? No, I don't know.

You're leading us? You're doing a really good job. Thanks. You were saying you want a skateboard. Yeah, before that. I brought us to skateboard talk, but you're going to take us somewhere else. I didn't want to step on. I don't even know, dude.

As of two weeks ago you have teased subjects that you had written and we still haven't covered them oh god uh they weren't yeah one of them was uh well okay so you know how we had the idea for this might inspire a longer conversation than the other. Am I recording? Okay. Oh my God. Why would you say that? I was just curious. I was pretty sure I was. Okay.

The one who was livid that we hadn't started the show yet is the one who didn't know when he was recording. I'll do this one first. So I was listening to Planet Money the other day, which is where we got the... They're the people that inspired the superhero conversation. So mine and their content to steal more ideas. Actually, not.

It was just like, you know how you play on Alexa? You can say like, play my daily briefing or whatever, and then it'll just play. And then when it's over, it just keeps playing forever. It'll just keep throwing shit at you. Well, it threw some planet money at me after my briefing was over. And it was interesting.

It was on the subject of sound IDs. And I don't know if you know what that is, Andrew. I had this conversation with Gavin actually in person because we went out to dinner the other night, which, by the way, I had a lovely time at dinner with Gavin and his wonderful girlfriend, Meg, and my girlfriend and another friend. But man, were you in a bad mood at dinner? I don't know what your deal was. It's not going to work every week, you said that.

I'm not. No, I'm serious. We left and Emily was like, we were in the car and Emily was like, what was wrong with Gavin? And I was like, I don't know. What? What do you mean? I don't know. Ask her. Are you being serious? You came across as like really surly and annoyed and I didn't know if it was because

your friend was there or what, but it was bizarre. Is it because we sat down to the meal and you said, why are you in such a bad mood? Did I? You're making me

self-conscious about when am I in a bad mood? Is Emily there? No, she's at work, man. Damn. I'll ask her tonight when she gets home if she remembers

why she said that. She seemed real concerned. Oh, man. I thought it was a nice time. Now I'm going to be second guessing every time we hang out. Trying to remember what happened. I like that

this whole part started with Gavin saying, well that's not going to work every week and now we're here. I guess it works every week. It really does. Oh man, that's great. But if Emily works every week. It really does. Oh, man, that's great. But if Emily said it, then it's real. Nah, she didn't.

I made that part up, but thank you. Anyway, but thanks for showing me that your skin is still as thin as tissue paper. You keep worrying me. God, I appreciate that. Man, that felt great. That felt really, that made me feel good on the inside. You made me feel good about me. Briefly there. I appreciate that. Man, that felt great. That made me feel good on the inside.

You made me feel good about me. Briefly there. Appreciate that. Anyway, so I already had this idea with Gavin. He was in a great mood, by the way. Lovely. We had a wonderful dinner. Everybody had it.

We laughed. Everybody was just over the moon. Talked about how we should do it more often. We enjoy each other's company so much. It was a delightful evening from start to finish. Not a negative moment throughout the evening. Except it was windy outside. I think we all agree it was too windy.

It was too windy. Could have rang the doorbell. So anyway, on this Planet Money thing, it was all about sound IDs, which is not something I'd ever thought of before. But a sound ID is like when you turn on HBO in the old days and it would go to snow and then it would do the HBO sound like the Don Don Don or whatever.

That's not anybody's sound ID. It's a, because now that I'm thinking of it, all sound IDs have fled my brain. Uh, or like when you, you know, when you load up Hulu or when you get like a text from faith,

like in Facebook, you get like a instant message or something. It makes an identifiable sound that you subconsciously start to recognize and associate with that product. And it was all about how, actually, HBO, I guess, was spending like a bunch of money and effort trying to recreate new sound IDs that made sense for the current times because they'd felt that theirs were dated. It wasn't just about HBO. It was about some other businesses too, and about the science that goes into it and how difficult it is to perfectly design a short interstitial sound

that then becomes synonymous with that brand in a positive way. And as I was going through all that, I was thinking, man, this could really benefit from a sound id like what would our sound id like our like you hear it and you instantly think of face b so i was just opening that up for a conversation because we also we have been discussing and we may already have it at this point but if we have if we don't yet audience i would love your assistance we want

to build a sound board of face sounds for the break show uh with like you know andrew saying like my name's andrew pan and i will eat the pencil and like all the other different funny things that we say uh maybe like soda burping and and that time andrew farted on on uh on mike uh whatever your favorite little audio moments are but uh i'd like to collect those for a soundboard but also like what should our i mean i assume it would be the grown tube sound but i just wanted to see what you guys thought what should faces sound idb i so can anything be is any so hmm because i'm thinking like what about the wilhelm scream is that a sound id does somebody own that does somebody make money every time wilhelm dies how does that work i mean i think it was made from like a for a big audio library wasn't it

was it is that his name wilhelm where'd the name wilhelm come from oh also has he died more than sean bean who is more total movie i definitely definitely more than i mean i used to know the answer that i googled it once but i don't remember now i think it's an interesting idea i like i like the sound idea i never considered what the sound of face would be i think it'd be the sound of a someone getting kicked and then like a kid crying that never happened it was close happening, but it didn't happen. Man, talk about becoming an even less sponsorable podcast. It's called F*** Face. It's got a kid

crying at the beginning of every episode. It's like, f***. Anyway, just something for y'all to think about. I am excited to see the responses for that. Their show is so dumb the things that i forget that we did like genuinely like two nights ago i was getting it was late i was going to bed and i just randomly had this realization that we we we've put garlic on our feet and I forgot that we had done that. Oh my God. My foot was in a garlic bag.

Gavin spread it like it was toast on his foot. We did a whole, we covered our foot in garlic and I forgot about it. That was not a thing that. I forgot about that too. Yeah. Oh my God. It's fucking crazy. Oh, that's low enough to not register as one of the weird things we've done.

That was my thought. So weird. How did I forget that? Oh, it was terrible. It was gross. That was disgusting. Do you know, Jeff, that food-wise, we've discovered Andrew's next British food

that he's going to try on the podcast? No, what is it? We're going to go for Marmite. Oh, yeah. Marmite. Because it's quitemite okay, I don't this one I feel like it's a bit of a low-hanging fruit that mom I of or Vegemite right I do we I thought we were going With the whole box of items is that off the table Are we doing the Brit?

I have a feeling that he didn't be like oh I like it. This is good And then you squirt the whole thing in his mouth. I want to pay Gavin to make me a subscription-style box of British items. A Brit box? Exactly. This came up because I said I was watching something on Brit box, which is like a streaming service. I was like, that sounds like a subscription food thing, where an American company would try to trick people into that these

are like classic british items nice subscription to your salad creams and your branch pickle your marmite i'd love a brit box i'm excited to try i forgot that that was my next item so you want me to do your whole box i would i think it would be funny to do a whole box but you don't have to you'd start small small, Marmite. Is there a box worth of stuff I'm missing? There has to be. Yeah. Yeah.

I could get you a box together. Okay. Well, maybe we do the Brit box in the future. Valentine's Day is coming. Do you know how clean your butthole is? Be ready whenever the mood strikes with the cleaning power of Hello Tushy Bidet. I recently got a Hello Tushy Bidet just as a side. It's been amazing. Stop spreading your business around your butthole with toilet paper. Start washing with Hello Tushy Bidets. The Hello Tushy Bidet washes your bum with fresh water for a way better clean

than toilet paper. Simply spray and pat dry. Attach this to your existing toilet, no electrician or plumber needed. Install in less than eight minutes. Cut down your TP use by 80%, saving money and paper waste. Make the restroom your best room with the complete TUSHY system, including the TUSHY bidet attachment,

ottoman, toilet brush, and TUSHY stand and tissues. I want to help you have a great and confident valentine's day with a clean butt visit hellotushy.com slash face to get 10 off plus free shipping right now tag us and at hellotushy on social media so we can celebrate your clean bum with that's hellotushy.com slash face for 10% off. I know that none of you watch porn, but just in case you have any friends that do, you'll want to pay attention to this. With everything going on in the world, governments have increased their surveillance.

They're using your devices to track your location, movements, and in many countries, your internet activity. You don't want to be literally caught with your pants down, and one of the best ways to keep your online browsing activity private is by using ExpressVPN. When you use ExpressVPN on your phone, computer, whatever, your internet connection is rerouted through a secure encrypted server so you can surf the web more anonymously without anyone looking over your shoulder. Look, I know you think all you have to do is use incognito mode.

No one can see that you've watched every last Hentai video on Pornhub or include your own example of something private to do online. I wish I would have read that earlier. But you're wrong. Even when you use incognito mode, your internet provider can see every single website you visit. And if you live on campus or share Wi-Fi, your network admin can too. Now that's kind of scary. That's why I use ExpressVPN whenever I go online, and I recommend all of you do the same. With a single click of a button, ExpressVPN stops others from getting a free license to peek over your shoulder

and see all the freaky shit you're looking at so protect your privacy today and get three months of express vpn for free visit expressvpn.com face that's expressvpn.com face for three free months with a one-year package visit expressvppn.com slash vase to learn more. I have a thing. I don't know what it means. And I've been meaning to talk about it for two episodes now. Jingle, jingle, jingle.

I was listening. I know what that means. And so do you. But I was listening to, I was listening to something and they brought up the phrase, the royal we. They're saying like we,

and then they pause and they're like, well, the royal we. They're saying like we and then they pause and they're like well the royal we. Isn't this on your album of 10 episodes to record though? I feel like I saw this on the notes you sent me. It is. So you're skipping ahead. You're going, you're breaking into the album content. Wait. Time out.

We added everything. This podcast is coming to a halt for a second. Those were What are you talking about, Jeff? I thought we were holding off for like our marathon recording week. This is part of the marathon recording. I thought that started the first week of February is when we were going to do that.

No, this is... What? I thought this was just the lead up to that. No, this is... I didn't consider this was... So is this in your mind song one or song two? We're in track two right now, Jeff. Track two.'t consider this was... So is this, in your mind, song one or song two? We're in track two right now, Jeff. Track two.

So last episode was track one. Last episode was track one. I had no idea we had even turned the CD player on. Why would we wait? Why would... We have to record... I didn't know how many we'd record. I thought we might record three.

Jeff thought this was pleasantries. Jeff thought this was pleasantries. I thought this was the preamble to the album of recording no you're saying that i'm jumping the gun this was something i wrote for track one didn't even get used to track one almost all track one is available track three is the best though right track three is usually the best almost always almost always i later wrote down in track one that i expected jeff to start using the topics i sent him to fuck with me which he ended up doing but not realizing he was doing it it was accidental just him not understanding the system i thought i thought we're gonna open the show and jeff's gonna be like since

i sent him my notes for the first recording he he's immediately just going to go into what I sent him as like, this is my water. Do you share notes now? When's this? Because of the, no, it's because of you, because we're,

we thought you would be gone for like eight months. And so we're, I'm like, we're going to record 12 episodes in two weeks to cover for Gavin being busy. So I was like, I'm approaching this like I gotta spread shit out.

And so if we're trying to fill 12 or 13 episodes in a short time, I was like, we should send notes. We've never done this before. These are my notes. Why can't I see the notes? I don't know why you can't see them. Because you didn't reply to Jingle Jingle, honestly, because I felt weird to then follow up.

You didn't get the notes because of that. If it helps, Gavin, I didn't send him shit. He just sent me the notes and I looked at him jingle, honestly, because I felt weird to then follow up. You didn't get the notes because of that. If it helps, Gavin, I didn't send him shit. He just sent me the notes and I looked at him and went, okay. If we didn't record today, jingle jingle jingle would have been the last entry in our text. Potentially forever. Why? Are you planning on never responding after this? Who, me?

Yeah, why would it be potentially forever? Because he didn't want to say anything after I didn't reply to Jingle Jingle Jingle. No, I would have replied I would have replied today, but not in I felt like I had to wait for yesterday. Anyway, so we decided that if we have to plan 10 or 12 tracks

worth of content that it might behoove us to share notes just so that we can build out. To make sure they're all equally they have stuff in them. That was the idea. Sounds like that's not really the case anyway. Because you're not going to be gone as long as we thought or whatever. So I guess

I don't know what this does to your album structure. I don't think it'd be very good if we had to actually do like eight at once. What a fucking stupid conversation we just had. I just wanted to talk about the Royal You. You did this. And not the Royal You. The Royal We. You specifically. Not, no, not the Royal Us.

You. Just you. The Royal You. What do you mean? What are you confused about? No, Jeff. Not us. The Royal... When people say the Royal You, I don't know what it means, but I know what it means but i know what it means hang on wait when you say the royal you you're just using a term you've heard

well that's sort of what i'm saying i know i know what it means when someone says okay i'll just give the example in which i heard they said we and then they paused. And then they said, well, not we. You know, the royal we. The royal we. The term the royal we, I believe, means we as like a collective. Not specifically us. Just like a group that isn't us. Not us. But hypothetically us.

Not us personally. Us as a group. Right? Does this make am i am i just doing no this is great keep i'm right but i don't know why i guess is what i'm saying like i don't does is it at all connected to royalty what is the royal like why why is it the royal we why is it the royal what i don't know like i never questioned that the royal we? Why is it the royal what? I don't know. Like, I never questioned that. The royal we, the first person plural used by a person

with supreme authority, or in modern times, sometimes we preserve anonymity. Supposedly, the first king to use we in this way was Richard I in the Charter to Winchester. Gavin knows all about this. Charter to Winchester, 1190. I mean, I'm sure you could probably take off from there

and just regale us with British knowledge. But I'll just keep going. We are not amused is a rebuke often attributed to straight-laced Queen Victoria in the 20th century. I'm putting myself to sleep reading this. Who cares? You are.

I mean, this is very boring. I just don't know what it means. I've never, I don't know where the royal comes from in the royal we or the royal you. I get the word that follows. The royal part, I never understand why it's there and why it means what it means.

And it sounds like I'm not alone. I don't think anyone here does. And that makes me feel better. I didn't know if it was a me thing or if that was just a thing that people didn't know. I don't know that I've ever heard anybody say the royal you. Yeah, that's less in use. I hear the royal you uh yeah that's that's less than use i hear the royal we all the time yeah uh to include like like a larger you is very specific that was a terrible

example to use for it but the royal we well what if what if you what if you i mean sometimes you doesn't mean you the person you're talking to it doesn't one is what you can say like uh you know getting on a plane allows you to go skydiving but it doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna go skydiving that's true the royal you is gonna go skydiving yeah let's like that i don't know what like blood thicker than water. I know what that means, but I don't know what... What does that mean? The expression, the phrase...

Are you just listing off different expressions that you know? No, I don't know what they mean. It's like the royal thing. I don't know what the royal means. I don't know what any of that means either. When you say the royal we, I think it harkens back to like everybody in the kingdom,

right? Like everybody under the, everybody in the serfdom or whatever of that royalty. Okay. It's kind of the etymology of that.

There's an example on Wikipedia where there's basically like a land dispute and the king writes that, you know, we have arrived at this decision,

blah, blah, blah. Is blood water? What is blood made of? There's a lot of water in it. It's water, right? It's the water base. Blood has water in it. Everything has water in it. That was gonna be my next... I realized that I don't know what blood is. It's water. And every

liquid is water? Well, there's different amounts of water in different liquids. Probably less in syrup or oil. But it's all... all forms of liquid have water in them. I would say so. Well, maybe not like certain gases in liquid form. Huh. Yeah, things can be in a liquid state.

Like liquid nitrogen doesn't have water in it. How thick is blood? It's viscous. Is water in... It's just a weird expression. Because I would... Blood is thicker than water, but it's not thicker than gravy.

Depends on the gravy, though. That's true, I guess. It's definitely not thicker than, like, white sausage biscuit gravy, but it might be thicker. You're not gonna get the money. You're not even related to him by gravy. And by the way, the answer is no,

according to the internet. Water is one of many liquids, but not necessarily all liquids. Okay. Thank you. Mercury has no water in it when it's in liquid form. Huh. Yeah, I guess any base element, if it doesn't have hydrogen or oxygen, there's no water in it. Okay. Okay.

I was going to say something dumb. I'm not going to. We're going to move past it. You were going to say something dumb? Yeah. It's fine. Do you ever fuck up and then nobody notices that was not one of those

times you had one of those recently were like you royally fuck something up royally ha that was an accident bounce back from the bread clip baby drop it in a royally accidentally um

for the audience he's referencing the bread clip joke that fell flat last episode a week ago for you but about 30 minutes ago for us yes i uh what's going on gavin i just can't believe how much that tripped you up i thought it was a fine comment you really just dwelled on that bread clip part. You got in your head about it pretty hard. No, you guys weren't there. You didn't deliver it. I was apparently messing up left and right last episode.

My O's weren't good. I wasn't laughing at the bread clip comment. You had a terrible O. It was brutal. I had a bad O. If that was the example of O, I would have it taken out of the... I would just have it removed as a letter.

I'd be like, we don't need it. We go down to 25. Not if that's what it's going to be. It felt like, I don't know, like if you throw a Hail Mary and everybody's like watching, like, oh man, is it going to land? And you threw it out of the stadium

is how it felt like. Like, not only did it not land, it couldn't have missed further. It was three layers. So who knows how many seats. gonna land and you threw it out of the stadium is how it felt like like not only did it not land but how big was the stadium it was three layers so who knows how many seats it leaves a lot a lot of room to guess oh man

go ahead this is weird we're in a weird hole I just don't know where I don't know where you're going I was trying I was trying to get into we pivot into weird I fucked up are you talking about You're in a weird hole. I just don't know where you're going. I was trying to get into you. We pivot into you. I fucked up recently. Are you talking about when you try and hide that you've made a mistake

or that you just get away with it without even doing anything? Both. How often do you get away with it? Not often, but when it does happen, there's that moment of you start sweating that someone's going to call you on it. I had a really bad one recently. That's why I'm bringing it up. I'm just curious if you have had those

where this is one that I think will stick with me for a while. I mean, I think everybody probably has had those at some point in their life, but why don't you dive into this one? I was reading the Donkey Kong rap. This one does talking about the Donkey Kong rap and that it's funny because there are

in the Donkey Kong rap. There is like's funny because there are in the in the donkey kong rap there is like the first two verses are all very complimentary it's like donkey kong is great let's talk about how great donkey kong is then the next kong they're great and then it goes to lanky kong and the lanky kong verse is just shitting on lanky kong well he has no style he has no grace this kong has a funny face like it's they just they're just fucking shitting on lanky kong he doesn't get a great verse and so i was trying to prove that point so i was reading i was reading the lyrics to it and i got to the the lanky kong part and uh i should have i should have i should have wrote this down. But essentially it ends with this Kong really digs this tune as the end of the lyric.

Something like that. It ends with tune is the final word. I misread the exclamation as an L. And I said, this Kong really digs this tunnel. Not only was it spelled wrong if it was tunnel, but I said this. I said this to a group of eight people but it was within the context of me talking about how shit the verse is so i was like this kong really digs this tunnel somebody somebody went tunnel and i immediately realized as soon as I said it, how I fucked up tune with the exclamation.

We toodle based on how I'd read it. And just nobody noticed. Nobody called on it. They're just like, yeah, I guess that is. Wow, what a weird rhyme. Nobody said anything. It registered that tunnel didn't at all fit, but because of how much talk was said about how shitty the verse was and that it didn't flow very well when did you realize later on like after the

conversation oh as soon as the l as soon as the all in tunnel left my mouth i realized what i had done so what you could have just corrected yourself immediately so i'm i thought about it and then because i thought about it too much time had passed by the time it came to make that decision it was like eight seconds had passed and am I really gonna like hey I need to we need to go back to that let me explain the moment had passed I didn't feel like I could correct it it wasn't like the bread clip or me saying my dynasty being or whatever I fucking whatever that was too much time had passed the moment, so I couldn't correct it. So I was just curious.

It's been, that happened four days ago. I think about it constantly. It hasn't left my brain. This Kong really digs this tunnel. So looking at the lyrics, the end of that verse is, inflate himself just like a balloon. This crazy Kong just digs this tune.

Yeah, I've read it all. He would have had to have said, he would have had to have inflated himself like a balloon this crazy Kong just digs this tune so yeah I would have said it would have had to have inflated himself like a balloon it was bad it's haunted me so I was just curious curious if either of you had that recently man. It has haunted me, so I was just curious. I was curious if either of you had that recently. I used to love that Donkey Kong rep.

Can I ask you guys a question? Where does it come from? Donkey Kong 64. Is it from the soundtrack of the game? It's like the first thing that happens when you turn the game on. I never played it, into I don't know Okay, gotcha. We have a bet we have a donkey Kong bet we even talked to you about Jeff

You're gonna have an opportunity to experience Donkey Kong that is part of the redemption year, okay? So I Gavin Gavin's like childhood game And we talked about the show that game loved it loved it. He could never beat it So then I was like you know what i'm gonna finish it i even made a twitch account at that time called andrew the donkey kong guy and then i got far i got 80 of the way through the game and then i lost my save file it just finished it crashed and there's a lot it's a lot to do in that game and so i've been thinking about giving it another try but i can't just it's not the greatest of games. It's

not all that much fun to play. People speak of it so fondly though. I think it's a nostalgia thing, but it's not a great game. So I thought, if I'm going to do this again, there needs to be odds. We need to have something on the line for it. So I pitched Gavin

a Donkey Kong bet. I will stream. I will do everything like I did before. I'll stream it again, but this time on the FFacePod Twitch account, which is a thing we have but have never used. I'll stream it. I have 48 hours to beat it. And I plan on just trying to play

as much as I can continuously. To beat it or 100% it? To finish it, not 100% it. To finish it. So you're just going to beat K. Rool at the end. I do. I have to hit credits or whatever. To beat the final boss. At any percent?

At any percent. How long is it supposed to take to finish? Apparently like 30 hours is the average playthrough. Okay. So you've got 48 hours. Now here's something, when we discussed on text, I was trying to think of ways you could well cheat basically.

Pull an Android. I have no plans. Are you allowed to use glitches or skips? No. Okay. You're just going to play. Yeah. If one happens accidentally I don't think that disqualifies me. Like if I'm jumping through a wall and I just like end up through it. I don't think that

if it's a bug or a glitch that helps me, but it's done accidentally, I think I'm fine. And you'll be using you'll be using Earth hours, not like lunar or like Martian hours. I'll be using I'll be using Earth hours. OK, so you've got 48 Earth hours. Yeah, I don't. We need to, I guess, figure out. I'm not sure when you you're gonna have to cheat somehow

And I'm just trying to know ahead of how you're gonna I'm either gonna cheat or lose and that's where we come to the stakes of this bed because every every bet needs stakes I have a victory thing we could talk about this because Gavin doesn't know I had this idea for it If I lose This is what we came up with we can we can this. I'd like to hear your thoughts on it, Jeff. You know my feelings on bananas. If I lose this bet, I have to eat a banana every day for the next 64 days.

You know what? First off, I think that makes sense in a lot of ways, but I'm glad you brought up bananas. I went ahead and closed down my banana research because I didn't think we'd ever get back to bananas,

but I did a little bit of reading on bananas. Did you know there are over a thousand varieties of banana that vary wildly in taste and consistency i think that there probably is a banana out there for you andrew we just you just haven't found it because you're eating the cavendish banana which is like the by far the most common available banana that's very possible. You could totally be right. I don't mind the taste. It's really a texture thing. Assuming there's a range in the same way

apples has, there's a scenario in which I could all of a sudden like a banana. Probably just an obscure banana. I'd have to eat 64 bananas in a row every day. I'd be open to recording that process. It would be terrible, but something could maybe come from that bananas in a row every day. I'd be open to recording that process and I don't know if we could.

It would be terrible, but something could maybe come from that when it's not. Now, can you rate every banana in the moment as you eat it? I could. For 64 bananas? Eric just said wait. Hang on. I'm confused. I just want to get clarification. You're saying you have to eat 64

bananas in one day? No, I have to eat one banana a day for 64 days oh okay it was confusing the way he said it okay cool because I thought you were going to die from potassium poisoning so I wanted to make sure that I wasn't part of that thank you no no no once a day

one banana a day for 64 days and you were originally telling me this as like the punishment, and I was just thinking like, I could easily do that, and it wouldn't be a punishment. And then I remembered how much you hate bananas, and I just thought that's absolutely perfect.

Because you're going to get so sick of them. Like a weekend, you're just going to be like dreading your daily banana. So this is the idea I have. We can workshop. We can workshop this, but this is just my original thought. If I win the bet, I was trying to think of things because

it's complicated to come up with a victory thing for me. I'll give you a free skateboard. Free skateboard? No. If I win the bet, because you also do this podcast, and you also do the RT podcast, which is a visual, there's a video component

to that show. You're speaking to Gavin. I'm speaking to Gavin. If I win this bet, you have to record an episode of the RT podcast wearing 64 different pieces of clothing. I like this. Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, all right, Joey. What? How is that? Where'd you get that from? You're gonna pick 64 coats and I'm gonna die of heat stroke. I pick one. I can pick one piece of the 64. You can pick the rest. Okay, I have to...

A whole 90 minutes? A whole 90 minutes. Can I wear one of those beer helmets with water for hydration? Yes, absolutely. Because I'm going to have restricted limb movement. Yeah, no, you can. That's an article of clothing.

Oh, what if I just wear like 30 ties? Then you'd need to come up with 34 more items of clothing to go with it. Do you have 30 ties? I've got two. Hmm. Do you have 30 ties? I've got two. What's wrong with two? Who needs more than two ties? No, I agree. I agree. I'm not arguing. Oh, man. I like the terms. I certainly, as an impartial judge or just an impartial observer, I would certainly sign off on those terms.

Eric is asking, is jewelry clothes? Jewelry is not clothing. I think the biggest problem here is that it's really easy for Andrew to beat a 30-hour game in a 48-hour window. I don't know why that's difficult. Well, it's difficult if I only do that. Like, what do you mean? Is it hard? Is the game hard?

Yes. It's a tedious, difficult... There are parts of it that are very difficult. That's why Gavin never beat it. I mean, he will have to beat original Donkey Kong again on the arcade.

Yeah. And there's the slide thing I have to do. That's a fucking nightmare. There are a few parts of that game that are incredibly difficult. Yeah, it's not... It's not that easy.

It's not hard. There's just some really like there's some sticking points in it i just feel like he was gonna spend that 30 hours playing halo anyway so now he's just gonna switch to a different console i don't understand your point are you saying 48 hours is maybe too long i think it's too much time that gives him two nine hours sleeping sessions but there's no life outside of that yeah yeah you get a 15 hour day to play video games is your life we we love it what's the longest video game stint you've had ever ever um yeah i don't i'd have to probably like six or seven probably like eight hours when i was playing

halo 2 and i'd stay up all night playing it. Well, I guess that's probably the longest. You know, I feel like I feel like you can do this. To be honest, I'm sick of you losing the bets. Like, I'm really ruined. I don't want a pity bet. I beat you in the Halo

bet. I want you to have a decent chance, and you've never had a chance with the burgers. Reduce it. Reduce it to 44 hours. I'm not taking any pity victories. No, no, no. Listen, we're not. Nobody's trying.

I'm just saying. Gavin, if I were you, I would start collecting ties. What if it's 44 hours, but you're allowed to purchase an extra four hours for free? You can have them, but you have to make that call in the first 24 hours. Okay. Okay. Why wouldn't I make that call though? Yeah. Well, you know,

it's just whether you want to give up on doing it in 44 pretty early. Okay. So it's a pride thing. I could get behind that. Yeah, because I think the only real real the only person you're battling half the time is yourself and your own confidence that's true it is true yeah it's true yeah do you want to hear a really embarrassing story my confidence

i hadn't thought about is it related to the denver nuggets uh it's related to sports this is like i think this might be i was gonna say when i told the story this is maybe the first example of burger confidence, but that's not true. There were previous instances, but this is classic burger confidence. I'm in the fourth grade, I want to say at this time, and I don't know how to ice skate, not an ice skater. I don't know how to rollerblade, but the local hockey team came to our class that day and they were like doing a thing where it's like, oh, we're going around the schools. You meet the team, they hang out, they help you with some of the assignments. And then at the end of the day, you get to play hockey with the team. It's just it either means skates or just run in the gym. I had convinced myself

as a child that there is a scenario in which I could join the hockey team based off of this experience. I was sat at my desk at lunch being like, what if I'm so good at I don't like hockey. I never play hockey but in my head I was convinced like, what if I happen to be so good at ice hockey? It's not even ice hockey. It's floor

hockey. And you hadn't seen a movie with a monkey on ice skates? No, I have. MVP 1. MVP 1 is with a monkey on ice skates no i have mvp1 mvp1 is about it's about a monkey playing ice maybe it's all tied to mvp my confidence it's all ice skating and monkey related but i thought i genuinely believed that there was a possibility that they would ask me to join the team based off of my hockey playing i was dreadful i didn't like it i was just bad at hockey i i didn't know how to skate they're a nice hockey team i didn't know how to skate but i spent a large portion of that day completely convinced that it wasn't out of

the realm of possibility that i would be joining the Nanaimo Clippers and what that would mean for that future as a Clipper i was also like six years younger than all of them. But did you actually get to the point where you were like putting skates on or anything? No, we did. So at the end of the day, we played hockey and the kids that could rollerblade got put on rollerblades and that was not me.

So I was just slowly running around the gym being terrible at hockey. So you're on foot? I'm on foot. Yeah, because I don't know how to skate on any level. Roller skate or ice skate. Don't know how to do it. Terrible at it.

So I'm just slowly running while everybody's skating by me. And I'm just bad. I'm bad at every level of the game. But I'd spent a few hours that day convinced that I was going to be the next Denial Clipper. And it was a dream that I never had prior to that or cared about the day after. I never played hockey. That's genuinely, I think, the last time I played hockey. It just appeared.

Can I ask a question? Of course. What track is that on? The Nanaimo Clippers hockey story? What do you mean, what track? Oh, this is not on. It's not even on the list. Oh, shit. This is like bonus, this is a B-side. Jeff, you have no idea how excited I was

that we went so heavy on knobs in track one and that was not on the list. I'm confused as to why Jeff thought we weren't on track one yet. Like, were you just... What were you doing in the last episode? Just like trying not to tell a story? No, no, no, no, no.

I wasn't a part of Andrew's album structure thing. He presented this to me last night or yesterday. And we were, he wanted, just talking about how, see the way, the way it went down is we knew you were going to be taken off at some point. Nobody knew how long. I had had the conversation with you at dinner, had an inkling.

Eric came to us and said, hey, we need to schedule ahead. Gavin's going to be gone for a while. And we said, like, how much? And he said, probably as much as we can get. And then Andrew came up with 10 episodes. And I got it in my head because he said, I think we can record 10 episodes in one week.

And Eric identified the first week of February as a good time to do it. So in my head, those 10 episodes were their own thing. Today does not comprise, today is not the first week of February. It is still January 20th or something. So I was considering that to be something that we're going to do

11 days from now. Right now, I just thought we were going to do our normal episode and then bang out an extra one because we had the time and then we would be approaching the album of content on that week much like we did

hell week when you left to go film laser team so many years ago and achieve a hundred i just didn't think it had started yet i think it would be detrimental to do three in a day i agree i think it's detrimental to do two in a day sometimes okay so that's not true i i that's not actually true i don't think that i don't know why i I said that. That was like, I don't know. I actually fucking, I'm having more fun doing this episode than the last episode. I had a lot of fun doing the last episode.

And I recorded an episode of Annual Pass 15 minutes before this. So this is my third episode today and I'm having a blast. Well, let me ask you, Jeff, how are the pleasantries before Annual Pass? Fucking awesome. Awesome.

Yeah, dude, that's a whole different vibe there. It's me and Jack and Ben, and it's just like a big dude bear hug. It is just nothing but pleasantries. It's a really easy way to roll into a podcast that's also very warm and positive. Very different from us. I think we can be both those things, but rarely simultaneously. Yeah, I agree.

I agree. I think we have very, very great moments of warmth. Is the Donkey Kong bit, is that a part of the album? Yeah, that was on track one. That was track one. Okay, so we're bouncing around. All right.

When are you going to start that then? I like it. Why don't we start? I don't know when this airs. Whenever this airs, one week from then okay one so it's going to come out the next episode uh the results of it i guess would come out probably a year later yeah when does when does this air what day is it right now for us well i'm waiting for eric or nick yeah i'm waiting for somebody this will be february 9th february 9th okay what about yeah episode 89 february 9th so not that weekend but

the following weekend i will start it saturday 12 a.m and i have until i have 40 hours from that point are you going to be doing commentary are you going to be uh yeah i'll i'll do some i'll do some commentary you're going to stream the whole thing all of all i'm gonna yeah we'll say i'll stream the whole thing maybe i won't do commentary necessarily for all of it but i'll try to do for the most of it the bulk of it so i have a question a couple years ago you did a thing well this is pre-podcast this is pre-content at all you just did this to amuse yourself you did uh a really fun, really clever, really cool thing that I was a big fan of where you, for a solid month, you played, not Fortnite, but PUBG. You played PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds. And you only ate real food in real

life if you won the game. And when you win the game, it's called Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner. And so you were only allowed to eat chicken, but you could only eat chicken when you won the game. And when you win the game, it's called winner, winner, chicken dinner. And so you were only allowed to eat chicken, but you could only eat chicken when you won a round of PUBG. So if you played for 10 hours in a day and you didn't win a game, you didn't eat that day. Which I thought was brilliant

and really fun to watch. And you actually ended the 30 days with a surplus of food. But- I would have stopped to death. Yeah, yeah, no kidding, right? How, on the worst day on your toughest day in that how long do you think you played and streamed because you streamed that entire thing too i did uh well there were times where i would stream thank you you just made me

think of something else jeff unrelated that but if i didn't stream i'd screenshot the win i think the most i probably played probably probably around eight hours, I'd say. Once again, it's the most I'd put in a day. So less than half of what you're going to have to do here. I'd assume so. Yeah, that was a constant. Maybe it was longer. I don't know.

It's hard to tell with time between sleeping and whatnot. I would definitely stream for like four hours, three hours a night, I'd say. And then on weekends, I'd say and then on weekends I'd probably play a little bit during the day without streaming are there Donkey Kong 64 speedruns I'm sure there are but those would involve using like cheats and skips that I would not yeah it's a pretty glitchy game okay so you're playing it your goal is to play it legitimately and not that's not how you're gonna cheat you. You'll find a different way to cheat. I'm not going to cheat. I didn't cheat the Halo bet. If anything, Gavit

was more cheating the Halo bet and then I had to copy his cheats. Not really cheat. Oh, you're using what is cheating? If me using skulls, wait, can I get the audio isolated of Andrew saying I'm not going to

cheat followed up by what is cheating? That'd be great. Thank you. You brought up a moment ago, Jeff, me streaming it and made me think of the fact, well, when I wasn't streaming, I would screenshot my wins. I think Gavin may have, and I don't know this to be true, but I think Gavin may have pulled off the greatest troll move against me. Anyone ever has.

I think it's highly possible. And if if you have, I want to applaud you, Gavin, because it was a great it was a great move as part of as we discussed this album structure of ideas. I was last night. I was like, I need to think of more content. Whenever Gavin and I play halo right now, he does a thing where we try to get more kills than each other. And I typically will have more than he does. But if there's a game where he has more kills than me,

he'll call out that he's doing that he is and that he screenshots the screen. Whatever we play, this has gone on for weeks now and he'll say it and he'll typically wait until he won't bring attention to it until there's maybe like nine or ten kills left in a game and then he'll be like ah screenshot game

and then it will become intense and I will try to win and I most of the time don't as of me disappointedly yelling we've had some close screenshot games I've almost come back Andrew most we mostly just play very casually we don't we're me disappointedly yelling we've had some close screenshot games i've almost come back well because andrew most we mostly just play very casually we're not playing ranked half the time we're just playing like fiesta or something very casual so we're just like shooting the shit half the game and if i notice towards the end that i'm doing better i'll mention it and then andrew just

goes basically silent as he tries to concentrate it becomes very competitive and then i've had this joke where i'm gonna buy gavin a photo album and when he has enough screenshots to fill the photo album i'll there will be like a prize or something as a gag so last night i decided i was like well i wonder we've been playing for quite a few weeks now there have been plenty of screenshot games how many screenshots has gavin taken and so i checked your thing and i i there there was there was not a single screenshot there and i had never considered the possibility that you just say screenshot without screenshot gavin have you taken you're taking a single screenshot trigger screenshot game i took one you took one that's great it's a fantastic troll move

i have been the the sweatiness of these games whatever damn it would throw out screenshot game i don't know how quickly you figured out that i wasn't taking them oh i was gonna do that for so long i well here's the thing you could have had an out and i'm glad i didn't set it up this way that information is private on your account i can't see it so i wasn't sure if you had flipped it to private prior to the screenshot thing and that's why they weren't there so there was room for you to to continue this no but i looked at it when i took was the one i sent you where i'd i guess i'd only half held down the back button or i'd let go too soon but it's like a very transparent

version of the scoreboard like i messed up the screenshot it's funny because i think i've taken one screenshot myself and i couldn't figure out how you did it because it was like it looked shitty like there's not a post game screen but i I had never thought. And then last night it was like the scene and the usual, where the slowly dropping the coffee cup when he has the realization. I was like, I wonder how many screenshots. Oh no. Is this all a lie?

Yeah. I just didn't want to clog up my feed. Clog up the feed. Nobody could see. Well, I could have to scroll through it one day. I know what I started

today. Gavin feeling bad that Jeff is fucking with you with you've always been in a bad mood. I no longer feel bad. Jeff has this bad mood. You have your screenshot.

He is in a bad mood sometimes, though. I only like sometimes he's not, but sometimes he's it's pretty noticeable. And you're like, maybe just because I know him so well, but it's like bad mood sometimes, though. Sometimes he's not, but sometimes it's pretty noticeable. Maybe just because I know him so well, but it's like, God damn, dude. Do you think people don't get in a bad mood? Yeah, but the ratio

with you... Everyone has a gammy day where they didn't sleep well. It's comedy, but all comedy has a grain of truth in it, right? And the reality is that more often than not, you're in a gammy mood. Get a new... We need to get you a new bed and a new door knob.

I'm trying to make myself sleep better. I'm trying to lock people out. I'm trying to fingerprint the door handles and all that. I'm trying to make myself less tired. But I would say I would say like 95% of the time, I'm solid. Well, I think everybody else might come up with a different ratio,

but it's cool that you think that. What about you, Andrew? Do you think I'm in a bad mood sometimes? No, only once. There's only one time where it felt genuine. I don't know. That no wasn't super believable there. You went, no. We can't do that.

We're going to take away the entire English language from Jeff if we start calling out every word. He's already lost O. You can't do that. We're going to take away the entire English language from Jeff if we start calling out every word. He's already lost. Oh, that's... You can't also remove... Honestly, if I feel like I'm genuinely in a bit of a flat mood, I just try and avoid people in general. Is that why I never talk to you?

No, that tracks. That makes a lot of sense. That's why we never communicate. If I'm feeling really tired and a bunch of people hanging out, I would much prefer not to go. I just don't like being around people when I'm tired

because I just feel like I'm not being very funny or I'm just being boring and it's just like, oh, everyone's going to be in a better place if I'm just going to go to sleep early or something.

Yeah, the world would be a much better place without you. I see what you're saying. Oh. I strongly disagree. Wait, Andrew, what was the one time i was in a bad mood uh i don't remember the context of it but jeff said it i think to fuck with you it was like the third time he had done it but it seemed genuine and that's what made it funny it is funny that he fucks with you and that you don't know how to react to it but when you're actually in a bad mood it makes it way funnier the problem is the problem for you gavin is that i'm some sometimes i'm kidding sometimes

that's all sometimes i'm not sometimes you are legitimately and i may be the old maybe it's because we live together for so long and maybe i'm the i just i'm i can i i just know you that well uh but i uh sometimes i'm definitely not kidding and i guess you'll just never know i feel like you're maybe attributing just generic tiredness to actually being in a bad mood like a lot of time i am like a little bit lethargic i know tired lethargic gavin we made red versus blue together i remember those long days i know i know i've seen you fall so much older now you're so tired that's true so here's my idea for the infinity pie okay all right i just realized i never got to it and then yeah i took a moment but i I know what you're talking about. I'm crowbarring into it.

Okay. So I had the idea, or I think actually maybe you had the idea, Andrew. I don't want to steal it. Or somehow, an idea was formed at some point in the past through some combination of this podcast. Just say the idea. Where we wanted to make the infinity towel, right? We wanted to take all the little pieces of relics of NBA players and make a super

towel that's got LeBron James and Kobe Bryant and, you know, Jason Tatum and Joel Embiid in it. And just say that'd be a funny, funny visual. And just to be clear, not actual full team. We've asked people to send in towel cart just to be clear. It's just a little snippet of it. And by the way, people have been sending stuff in. I went and checked the mail yesterday, or today, and I had a bunch of baseball cards that people have sent in. Not baseball cards, but like different kinds of wild trading cards. So we'll try to open those up on a break show that

already happened at this point. So if you watched that, you saw the cards. You know what they are. Anyway, I was thinking the other night, I was ordering pizza, and I had this problem in my house where I like Hawaiian pizza. I like a Hawaiian pie, and I like a fiery Hawaiian pizza. But I don't like it an entire pizza worth.

And my girlfriend and my daughter are not big fans. So I don't ever want to order a whole Hawaiian pie for myself, because I generally just want one piece. And then they want to get a margarita or a pepperoni or whatever. And then I thought about it. They should make a pizza called the infinity pie where it's eight slices and each slice is a different pizza. So you get a taste of all the different kinds of pizzas at once without having to order too much pizza or just in my case, go without ever having a Hawaiian pizza because I would be left with six slices I wouldn't eat. An infinity pie. I think that would do so

well if Pizza Hut or Domino's or one of those chains created it. And it's like, here's your pepperoni slice. Here's your Hawaiian slice. Here's your veggie slice. Here's your gluten-free slice. Here's your meat extravaganza slice. Here's your double pep or whatever. You always end up with a pizza box with just one slice of anchovy left in it well yeah i mean maybe or maybe people would be like well there's only one left i'm gonna learn to like anchovies and then they oh little caesars makes this little caesars makes this it's called the quattro pizza wow it's called the what is it called it's called a Quattro, I believe.

All right. I've never had it. I don't see a Hawaiian pizza on that. Can you pick? It's not in there for, no, I don't know if you pick. It's a great question. Can you pick the four?

Eric is saying that it was like the first episode of, uh, no, you don't pick the four. It's just four. Yeah. See, that's the problem.

I would want to be able to pick and four is not enough. I would want to, that's not infinity to me. That's quite, I don't, I don't hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Yeah. on yeah infinity is eight four infinity is eight

you want a pizza where every single slice is different i think so yes but it's still one pizza no i understand that it's what yeah no i get that i'm saying that but you want every single slice to be different i think so you want one slice one individual that seems well eric an a tipped over is infinity yeah see like turn an eight sideways kick kick kick it kick an eight as if it's a small canadian kid and it becomes an infinity let's let's just very quickly there's a crying infinity sign let's throw out a scenario jeff you we're at your place there's a group of people gavin's there a bunch of people are there and you let it known to the party that you have ordered your infinity pizza i am rushing to that fucking box like it's the beginning of the hunger games if there's only one slice of each type i need like

it's gonna be fucking chaos it's just gonna be a sprint it'll be like the xfl where they just put the ball in the middle of the field everybody ran to it for the kickoff everyone's gonna be storming that pizza box and if somebody who's a storm chaser i will get there first what you're saying is it's creating enthusiasm around the food i like it i know no it's you're creating false scarcity, so I'm going to have to fucking elbow two people I like to make sure I get pepperoni. You can just imagine a big party full of shitloads of people, and then

someone's like, I don't know what we're going to do. We're going to get eight infinity pizzas. Yeah, that's eight slices for it. Oh, maybe we should have just got eight normal pizzas. I disagree. Never describe scarcity as creating enthusiasm ever again please it is it's a terrible creating enthusiasm i want to say you get a slice of cheese you get a slice of pep

you get a slice of mushroom and pep you get a slice of veg you get a slice that's exciting if i'm the only one eating the pizza how often are you having parties how often are you partying how many times how let me ask you question how on a scale of like how many out of every 10 times you order a pizza is it for a party or is it for you or you and like one other person because for me it's 10 out of 10 times i'm getting a pizza for me my girlfriend and my daughter not the whole fucking world depends how much pizza i mean i would assume the rules anytime you're ordering for in mass the rules of ordering change i also wouldn't ever order like a tray of a hundred nuggets uh for myself but if i'm having people over maybe i'll do that what's the maximum capacity

for the quad pizza or the infinity pizza in your mind hey no that's way too many people how many oh hey people i'm sorry how many slices how many people yes uh i would say if i can do a pizza party i get one slice of pizza i'm fucking i would say four every everybody gets two everybody gets two slices two four enough no that's you need it i know that doesn't i'm not gonna eat more than two pieces of pizza. Then I'm okay if you, I would say three, and if you're part of the three and you're only eating two, then I'm okay with it.

Then three. But I'm okay with every, Eric said it's not the slices, it's the choices. I'm okay with every choice on the pie. Well, then, what are all the choices? I mean, let's see. Cheese, pepperoni, mushroom pep, veg, Hawaiian, deluxe, meat lovers, and margarita. It adds a little bit of variety because you're like, oh, what am I going to get?

What's left in the box? What am I going to have? You don't actually know. You know it's going to be something you like, but you don't know which one. I would say it enhances, I'm about to say it enhances that slice. Makes it taste even better.

So you're going to keep a tomato base across the entire pizza? For this infinity pie, yeah. I'm assuming that there's other options. What if I told you that one of the slices has the P word on it? You're creating the scenario in which every slice is something that you like. In a scenario in which you don't like

every slice. I would say that, I would say first off, that's ludicrous. How often have you seen a pizza with the P word on it? But I would also say I just described probably the eight most common slices of pizza out there. I don't think I'm stretching or going for weird ingredients. I'm just going for like the pizzas that you mostly see out in the world in the wild. That's fair. I just don't as somebody

as somebody who doesn't love every slice of pizza. I'm pretty I'm pretty cornered. So which which out of those eight that I said, which one wouldn't you eat? I I'm not a big fan of sausage on pizza. Don't like it. I wouldn't touch an olive. Yeah, if there's an olive on there, I'm out. Sometimes, I can enjoy a red onion on a pizza. I mainly stick within the camps of like,

I'm either going to have a barbecue chicken pizza or like a pepperoni pizza. Those are my two mates. See, I have a barbecue chicken pizza or like a pepperoni pizza. Those are my teammates. See, I feel like barbecue chicken would be a bridge too far in my infinity pie. I think that's a little bit more of a niche slice of pizza. But I do enjoy a barbecue chicken pizza for sure. I like a Hawaiian, but I swap out the ham with pepperoni. So if I could poach some of your pineapple from your Hawaiian slice, I still I think

this is a terrible idea. Ultimately. Terrible idea. Terrible. I would say terrible. Terrible. I'd go as far as saying terrible. Yeah.

Unless I'm ordering for myself and I can pick all the slices, in which case I'm probably just doing a half and half. Yeah, I guess. I think it I think it would revolutionize pizza. I think that Little Caesars was on to something. They just didn't take it far enough. I think it would be you have me back on board if it's all the crust varieties, all the topping varieties, all the sauce varieties, and you don't know what you're buying.

And it's like the different brands like, you how like dominoes their flat crust is like a fucking cracker each like how they cut it like if there's one more of a franken pizza like you're yeah describing what's called the infinite mystery pizza i love that too i'm in for that that sounds great but just one slice of everything they're all the same outside of just topping variety that's a tougher sell for me uh what about that bread clip right yeah what about that bread clip i wouldn't buy just pizza but i would buy a glorious tiki mug that looked like a porta potty oh yeah a week ago if you If you go to our website, to our store,

store.roosterteeth.com, and then you look up in the f*** face section and you see a pink port-a-potty tiki mug and it's still for sale, we have a problem. Please. Please. Please buy it. Please.

Please, for God's sakes. Would that be our second flop after the skateboard? After the skateboard, they're never, after the skateboard, they're never going to let us make anything again. If we fail on these. We should just maintain a page on the store called the F*** Face Flops and just put everything in the show.

Acknowledge there's a piece of shit. Flop face. That way. F*** face. Dude, speaking of flops, one of the things I know we got to know we gotta end the show i know we gotta eric's yelling at me uh we had a conversation and we were all playing video games together and i was asking you guys what your favorite candy or sweet was and then you guys gave me your answers and so i bought them and i meant to tell you guys to do the same thing

and then i thought we could all try each other's favorite candies on air and have a little candy taste test. But in the process of buying some, and I'm still waiting for Andrew's to show up, I discovered... I don't know if you know, I'm a huge Laffy Taffy fan. I'm a big banana Laffy Taffy fan. And I was at the store buying some candy, some of this candy last night. And I saw that there's this thing called Laffy Taffy candy laugh bites and it's all banana it's called gone bananas

and it's just like I don't know it's like a different kind of candy but it's Laffy Taffy brand and so I got the idea that it was like basically like if if you like if you're one of those people that loves banana runts like I do you just want banana runts and if you can just buy banana runts you do so I bought this thinking banana runts. And if you can just buy banana runts, you do. So I bought this thinking that I was going to get some fucking just a bunch of yummy ass banana Laffy Taffy. This sucks. This was such a misstep for the Laffy Taffy brand. It is so unfun to eat and it's so bland. I can't believe they have yellow banana gold in their grasp and they turned it into this.

I just, just so so disappointed that's all just had to register my frustration so what is it called sorry laffy taffy candy laugh bites gone bananas i will see if i can find it because i don't you will be disappointed but i don't like base laffy taffy so maybe this will be maybe i'll enjoy this more base laffy Taffy, so maybe this will be... Maybe I'll enjoy this more. Base Laffy Taffy is good. So are we doing the candy thing next time? I think we should. Do you guys know what your favorite candy... Do you know what candies to buy? Yeah.

No, what do I buy? Yeah, what... Well, mine... Mine is Mini Starbust, but only the Fave Reds version. Mini Starburst Fave Reds. I don't want the regular mini starburst because it has the orange and the yellow they taste like dog shit you don't want that but fave red you just get the red

and the pink starburst yeah okay and then also chewy nerds andrew i believe yours was sour chewy nerds sour chewy nerds which i had to buy online and they haven't arrived yet they don't i can't get them locally and then gavin you said kinder bueno i have one of those as well yeah a little treat so if you okay but gavin imagine a kinder bueno but one part of it was a kit kat and the next part of it was an arrow and it ended as uh i don't know a reese's pieces cup how do you feel about that i'd give it a go yeah that actually sounds really good the infinite chocolate i just had a genius i what if we call it the infinity chocolate it's just like an eight but knocked over that could be our brand that's what it says on the wrapper infinity chocolate one in ten thousand bars as a bread clip.

Should we stop the podcast? Yeah, we should stop the show. Yes. Yes. We should stop the show. I was waiting for somebody to end it. I was waiting for you all to end it. It's been over. Someone flop us an outro.

All right. You got it, guys. Hey, thank you so much for listening. This is episode number 89. Next episode, episode 90, a revolutionary episode in face history where everyone eats candy. Thank you so much for listening by a tiki mug store. Roosterteeth.com.

And we'll see you next time on face. Not an official ending, but I'll allow it. Hey guys, minor league fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of face. Jeff wants to sell knives. Gavin and Andrew have an interesting conversation. Panton is a David Hasselhoff guy.

Jeff gets a candy gift. How many train movies are there? What creature poops nerds? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** This.